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ooa3603 Archive

View 3 posts and 350 comments by ooa3603 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

There's nothing wrong with wanting a partner who is considerate and proactive. The issue is when you set rigid arbitrary markers and tests based on gender. Assessing a person's character is something that takes place over time not through any one act or test. What's happening is that people have unmanaged anxiety, so they don't trust their own judgement. They don't trust their ability to assess. So they fall back on "tests" like you just mentioned to give the illusion of immediate certainty. It'…
/r/ExRedPill09/07/26 03:52 PM
3

Feminism is supposed to free both men and women from rigid gender roles. But in order to do that, one has to deconstruct and revisit a lot of base assumptions about men and women's natural state. The most important assumption is the gender binary, aka the idea that men and women are completely and fundamentally different along two polarities. This binary is inaccurate. Men and women are polymorphic. Think a Venn diagram with two overlapping circles. Men and women share just as many traits (if no…
/r/ExRedPill06/07/26 04:49 PM
3

Yes they have accurate observations about specific aspects of dating dynamics. Nothing about their observations is surprising. What's the point of this post? To give them some credibility so they don't seem so bad while you continue to listen and consume the content and believe some of their conclusions Because I suspect that's what you're doing. Trying to get that validation.
/r/ExRedPill05/07/26 01:00 AM
1

ok
/r/ExRedPill02/07/26 07:09 PM
1

I don't have the patience for this, we're done.
/r/ExRedPill02/07/26 03:06 AM
1

Good leadership traits are mostly about what's in your heart and mind that help you make a decisions that help your followers thrive. So thats things such as wisdom, loyalty, critical thinking, creativity and imagination, social skills etc. None of these things are exclusive or innate to men, nor are they found more often in men. But many men (and women) think a good leader is the strongest or smartest or most confident sounding person so they overlook these more important traits.
/r/ExRedPill30/06/26 02:13 AM
8

You clarified my thoughts. It's a great idea, but I'm not sure OP will be able to execute it, but I hope I'm wrong.
/r/ExRedPill09/06/26 11:50 PM
17

It's a great idea but: I’m a men’s work facilitator and community organizer in my mid-thirties in BC, Canada, and a lifelong leftist. A few years ago, some cancellation experiences within my own communities left me quietly resenting progressive culture and the people in it. Something about this seems off to me. Deeply seated lifelong values don't get unseated because of a few experiences. That's a slow process that takes years. And the phrasing "cancellation experiences." I tend to side eye peop…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/26 05:45 PM
2

He's suffering from low self-esteem. And its likely because he's consuming information and social media that's attacking his self worth. The messaging is always some variant of: You aren't man enough for love, you need to prove it. All women want XYZ that you don't have and they'll leave you if you don't have it, acquire XYZ to make sure that you will never be hurt. And creating anxiety over it. And it looks like he was already somewhat insecure about his masculinity. It's the same mechanisms th…
/r/ExRedPill27/05/26 04:23 PM
2

Bigotry, in all its forms comes from emotional pain, usually not because the target of the bigotry directly caused it, but because the bigot had some pre-existing inaccurate values and beliefs about said target and how they relate to the them. Furthermore, they've incorporated those beliefs and values into their identity and now those values and beliefs aren't just ideas, they're pillars of their self-esteem. So when reality comes knocking and the inaccurate beliefs and values don't hold up, its…
/r/ExRedPill19/05/26 07:26 PM
5

Ok? Rich people marry rich people, more at eleven. What's the point of this post? What do you think you're proving? This post is giving: Let me find any excuse to not try and blame "XYZ" thing so I don't have to put any effort and wallow in my pessimism.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/26 11:51 PM
2

Yes, because the redpill doesn't help men actually solve the source of their problems (1. holding unrealistic values and beliefs about manhood 2. avoiding any vulnerability), just make their egos feel better by blaming women. Outside of luck, your values and beliefs dictate your life outcome because they dictate how you perceive the world and the choices you make based on those perceptions. If you see everywoman as a goldigging user and unwilling to tolerate any vulnerability, you're going to ma…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/26 05:20 PM
4

It's an overly pessimistic framework on how to interpret and live out relationship dynamics between men and women. Dating and relationships are hard for many reasons, but the most impactful are: Inaccurate beliefs and values about men and women and their innate traits and their place in society. A broken society that demands men are raised to prove their worth and suitability for love which creates broken men with low self-esteem A lot of people have inaccurate base assumptions about men and wom…
/r/ExRedPill21/04/26 01:37 PM
3

It definitely gets close to the heart of the matter. Close but not all the way. Usually what hurt them wasn't the woman herself, but the beliefs and expectations about the actual innate traits physical and psychological traits of men and women and how those innate traits contradict the roles society tries to put them in. Men are not nearly as psychologically invulnerable as they delude themselves into being. And women are not nearly as submissive or placating as they think. But the social and ro…
/r/ExRedPill13/04/26 10:29 AM
1

I think what helped me get it was just to remember to be playful. Be you, just be a playful version of you when you talk Slowly sprinkling in a bit of lust and desire over the different interactions over time.
/r/ExRedPill01/04/26 06:14 PM
1

Ah gotcha, in that case I think you'd benefit from this woman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzFEkk0jLY4 She actually gives good advice for both men and women on the "tactics" of dating and communication in general My piece of advice would also to focus on learning how to flirt and communicate non-verbally with women you're interested in. Instead of trying to say something, try to show your attraction. Obviously this is after you've built up some rapport and gone past the stranger phase. Essen…
/r/ExRedPill01/04/26 02:00 AM
5

You've got your priorities in communication wrong: Real life interaction is better than digital interactions. IRL is stronger show of interest than texting. A person that physically shows up to go out with you is more invested than a frequent texter. Because it takes more effort. Not to mention if you have a life (hobbies, pursuits and goals etc) you're going to be busy doing them, not being attached to your phone. I’m struggling with how to go about this situation. The only thing you need to do…
/r/ExRedPill31/03/26 06:03 PM
17

Over the last 5 or so years The redpill in its current form is almost as old as the internet. Also you should think about the redpill and what it asserts itself as and what it actually is. Like the country of the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea. They say they are a democratic socialists, but in reality they are anything but. The redpill says its self-help, but it in reality its not.
/r/ExRedPill28/03/26 05:27 PM
1

"Waving the red flag" on youtube is a good one. Also, I think every boy/man should read/listen to this book: I don't want to talk about it, by Terrence Real. He doesn't talk about dating per se. BUT he talks about how boys are conditioned into shitty hyper-masculinity by other insecure boys/men and society in general. He talks about how it leads you to low self-esteem, performance based love/acceptance and depression. He then talks about how that emotional and psychological harm leads to failed …
/r/ExRedPill25/03/26 01:41 PM
1

According to sociology, in aggregate, men AND women both have the same loose range of a couple decades where they have the highest probability of attracting a mate. The difference is that the 20 years skew mildly younger for women and mildly older for men. Think 20-40 vs 25-45 respectively. So it's less a peak and more of a window when it'll be easiest to date. However this is due to a variety of factors and not just the person's physical attractiveness like the red pill is so obsessed with. For…
/r/ExRedPill25/03/26 04:23 AM
3

Originally the redpill was a essentially a self-help group for men who didn't have the social skills and emotional intelligence to read the non-verbal cues and unwritten knowledge of dating that most of society took for granted. Especially when it came to the unrealistic expectations of women many of these men had from not being able to understand that women were neither innately good or innately bad, just flawed humans like all of us. A lot of times these false expectations were both positive a…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/26 03:21 PM
3

If you're going to make such a suspect claim, you're gonna need to have more than just speculation. You're combining and conflating different demographics (conservative and minority are) into one and then making a sweeping generalization. That's the type of poor logic and reasoning that facilitates redpill thinking in the first place. Conservative is one demographic that can contain both minority and majority cultures. At the individual level just because a person is a minority, it does not mean…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/26 05:39 PM
3

There's no seems about it, you have very little self esteem. Because if you did, what women (or people in general) may or may not have compared to you wouldn't bother you so much. You wouldn't be so obsessed about it. Someone who truly believes that they are someone of worth would not obsess about what other people think, say or have. You'll consider other's opinions and actions because being oblivious or inconsiderate isn't good either, but it wouldn't compel you into anxiety like this. The poi…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/26 06:00 AM
4

Its very much possible that a woman may not actually like you for you. Women are just as fallible human beings as anyone else. The fundamental problem isn't that these fears you have aren't possible. Its that you have no trust in your ability to tell. You don't trust your ability to perceive a woman's love and affection for you or lack of it. You might not even believe a woman can actually love you for you. You probably don't like yourself that much. If you really did, the possibility wouldn't b…
/r/ExRedPill02/03/26 11:50 PM
3

There's a lot at play here but basically, when it comes to human beings paradoxical beliefs and behaviors are very common due to ego, and cognitive biases. And so we can be unreliable narrators, and hold inaccurate self perceptions, blind to ourselves and the reality and impact of our worldview and beliefs on ourselves and others. Even while we believe we are the good guys in social and relationship dynamics. Everyone does this. This is a universal human problem. But since we are discussing it, …
/r/ExRedPill26/02/26 01:10 PM
14

You didn't do anything wrong. Women are human beings. Some of them suck. Just like dudes. There are all types of people, sometimes you just get the bad luck of meeting one (man or woman) that gets past your mental alarms. The issue with the redpill isn't their observations of women's shitty behavior, its the hypocritical conclusions that because women suck sometimes, they need to be controlled and have their agency taken away. There's plenty more where that came from, add the lessons you need to…
/r/ExRedPill23/02/26 03:44 AM
2

So there are multiple things happening but here's the lay of the land as someone who was nearly seduced but saw the hypocrisy inherent in the redpill. There are many types of people that believe in all kinds of philosophies and morality, but ultimately the largest spectrum to categorize and judge people regardless of what religion or culture they believe in is along sociability. This is because humanity's core survival tactic in this brutal reality is cooperation. We live in groups and form rela…
/r/ExRedPill17/02/26 11:39 PM
3

So the problem isn't any potential partner, the problem is self loathing and lack of trust and belief in yourself. So you need to do things that will make you like yourself in a real way. Basically you need to put yourself outside of your comfort zone and reach for things. Try something you've never done before. Start hobbies/activities you think you might like. Work at developing skills you've always wanted to learn. Meet and interact with different kinds of people. You might succeed and you mi…
/r/ExRedPill11/02/26 10:44 PM
11

What question are you trying to answer with knowing how much sex your partner has had before? The likelihood of them cheating? If you're experienced enough to to satisfy them sexually? If other partners were better than you? Notice the pattern of these questions? They are centered around the possibility of being hurt emotionally. They come from fear. You are afraid of not being good enough. So in your fear and anxiety you reach for some metric you can use to prevent that. That's understandable, …
/r/ExRedPill11/02/26 01:56 AM
7

That's not an issue with feminism, that's an issue with not understanding that women are human beings, aka not always rational or consistent. There are women who understand feminism, there are women who don't, there are women who think they understand but don't. Hell there are women who understand but choose not to align with it because they think they can game the system. Women, just like men can be everything under the sun: smart, stupid, moral, evil, deluded, aware etc. So yes, that means the…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/26 07:39 PM
1

Both, I can have both so I judge by both. That said, looks are important to me but its not the priority. Relationships are about mutually adding happiness and fulfillment to each other's life by fulfilling the physical/emotional needs and roles we can't fulfill by ourselves. What those roles and needs are is different for each person. There are a lot of other things I look for but these are the dealbreakers for me in order of priority: An intellectually stimulating friend that enjoys similar lif…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/26 05:11 PM
3

There's nothing wrong with my reading comprehension, we just have a different definition of fine. And that's ok with me. If you think these people are fine, that's your prerogative.
/r/ExRedPill02/02/26 04:34 PM
3

Nah I don't think I'm underestimating anything. And I wasn't inaccurate, a relationship lasting wasn't the only criteria I mentioned, I mentioned not being miserable too. Just because a relationship lasts doesn't mean its good. And if you think those people are truly happy I have abridge to sell you. Men will complain and whine about how unhappy they are in dating and relationships and you look at who they're pursuing and getting with (redpilled or patriarchal women) its no wonder. But hey if yo…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/26 12:26 PM
4

This is true. Though the type of women you'll attract through are likely to make you even more miserable than you may already be, if not ruin your life For example, you know how many men complain about women who stop loving them because they show vulnerability? Those women consciously or subconsciously hold redpilled/patriarchal values and beliefs. Under patriarchy, men should not reveal any vulnerability, even though that's impossible. All men are vulnerable, because all human beings are vulner…
/r/ExRedPill01/02/26 09:26 PM
4

The truth that men and women are more similar than they are different. There are innate biological differences and they do have impacts that are important, but the ones that people get the most obsessed about are mostly sociological in origin (as in enforced by arbitrary ego driven rules and perceptions) rather than biological. The motivations that drive men and women are also very, very similar, the difference is execution. People who are insecure in their gender identity obsess over the differ…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/26 10:44 PM
3

Well, I'm an atheist and the model I'm describing is just a reflection of fundamental truths about sex and gender from biological and philosophical study. But the truth is the truth regardless of who states it, or where it is written.
/r/ExRedPill24/01/26 08:22 AM
11

It's annoying because people take these labels way too seriously to the point of anxious neuroticism. In the aggregate, men and women innately share more traits than differentiates them. Think a venn diagram, with overlapping circles The gender roles are just a generalistic way to assign the differentiating traits to each of the sexes. BUT, those traits are not fixed or even mutually exclusive. The differences matter, but they are not the whole picture. A healthy man is not supposed to be some d…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/26 03:44 AM
35

You have low self esteem. And likely you have inaccurate beliefs and values about manhood and womanhood and what makes either happy in reality. That combines into a pessimistic worldview that keeps you thinking that you are not enough for a woman to want to be with.
/r/ExRedPill23/01/26 09:21 PM
1

Of course not, excuse me for not covering all cases when I was trying to make the point that the redpill seemed to be the only one. My point is that they benefited from the PR of being the source that would actually point out women can suck. This is obviously not true, but when discussing people, perception is often more important than reality.
/r/ExRedPill23/01/26 04:31 AM
3

Disclaimer: I am not a professional therapist, just a dude who has also been abused by narcissistic people. My comments are based on personal anecdotal experience and recognition of the same patterns of behavior by OP. To put it short OP, you were in a relationship with a narcissistic person. Keyword narcissistic, we don't have enough knowledge or information to say if she had the full blown disorder. But a lot of people have enough of the traits for it to be a problem in relationships, especial…
/r/ExRedPill22/01/26 05:59 PM
8

So, your problem is low self-esteem. Self-esteem is the belief that you are enough, that you are worthy of having good things. Because of that low self-esteem, you don't have the courage to interact with women even though you get interest from them. If you had self-esteem, you wouldn't be afraid of interacting with these girls. You need to introspect on why you have low self-esteem. Here are some possible sources: Social Media - it distorts your mind with false or fake information. Your values a…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/26 03:38 AM
1

Reality is both positive and negative, but the brain is predisposed to prioritize paying attention to negativity as a survival adaptation. Thats not necessarily a bad thing, but the problem is that social media doesn't feed you reality. It feeds fear and anger, because that's what drives engagement because that's what the brain is evolved to watch out for. Social media companies know this and they don't care enough about society's mental well-being when profit is on the line. By watching redpill…
/r/ExRedPill18/01/26 11:08 PM
8

First, intelligence isn't one trait. It's the result of many different traits working together (pattern recognition, curiosity, openness, perseverance, emotional regulation, abstraction, collaborativeness, empathy, critical thinking, short and long term memory recall, neuroticism, spatial awareness, patience, narcissism and so many more). These traits combine into and/or influence intelligence, aka; your ability to create knowledge, form judgement and make decisions from information. Consequentl…
/r/ExRedPill02/01/26 12:26 AM
3

Waving the Red Flag is decent youtube channel on dating: https://www.youtube.com/c/WavingtheRedFlag In addition, every boy/man should read these books. While they don't directly discuss dating and romantic relationships, they will help you undo the damage to your psyche caused by redpilled thinking as well as understand what (good) women actually want from you. I Don't Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrance Real He discusses how most of traditional mal…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/25 12:02 AM
1

You have poor reading comprehension
/r/ExRedPill06/12/25 03:08 PM
9

It's simple, a lot of times people try to get away with giving very little in exchange for your attention. Action and actual time speaks louder than words as to someone's true intentions and level of investment. In general if anyone, man or woman is not willing to hang out with you in real life, that is your clue that they aren't really interested. Obviously talking to establish possible interests and getting to know someone can make sense initially, but after a while (how long is up to you), if…
/r/ExRedPill04/12/25 06:22 PM
30

This is unregistered anxiety. Sure man hating women exist but again women are people, and a lot of that hatred comes from a valid place of exploitation. A lot of this is projection by men who only think about sex, so they assume women only think about sex. Yeah, there are many types of women. Yeah, there are many types of women. Yeah, there are many types of women. More unregistered anxiety. Yes false accusation exist and absolutely do happen, but the majority of complaints are true unfortunatel…
/r/ExRedPill04/12/25 06:03 PM
1

You're welcome! I was almost seduced by men like Orion myself. I was fat awkward and had low self esteem so I found dating very hard and was a ripe target. I was desperate for anyone who could give me the deeper insights on dating I couldn't seem to grasp myself. I was lucky to have escaped because of good friends and experiences. But not everyone is so lucky. So I frequent subs like this to try and give other dudes the hidden info the redpill/manosphere pretends to promise without the misogyny,…
/r/ExRedPill25/11/25 03:55 AM
13

Bruh, you sipped the Koolaid. Your entire problem is that you have a delusional idea of power that no one on the planet has. Even people who are certifiably the sexiest, richest person alive cannot command the type of certainty you are looking for. It's why this saying exists: You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be people who hate peaches. Obviously improving your looks, money and status will help you in dating, but: They are not the guarantees you thin…
/r/ExRedPill24/11/25 04:49 PM
6

You're not wrong, but you just touched on the reason why. Men have poor standards when it comes to sex and relationships. That's not on women. The redpill sometimes has accurate observations, its their conclusions that are fucked.
/r/ExRedPill23/11/25 11:47 PM
6

Dude just go. You and OP have no intention of ever attempting to actually do anything under your control. Which is my point. You can't control other people's behavior and it does you no good to stick around people, places and environments that make you feel terrible. So don't be around those people and places and focus on your own behavior. It's obvious that OP is addicted to this shit and still consumes this media when he doesn't have to. All he really wants to do is just obsess over the things…
/r/ExRedPill18/11/25 07:47 AM
6

You have poor reading comprehension and don't know what gaslight even means.
/r/ExRedPill18/11/25 07:15 AM
15

There's no nuance here. Just because there is a portion of the population that doesn't treat you fairly, doesn't mean you turn around and start treating others unfairly. How old are you? Because you sound like a child who hasn't learned to develop their moral framework for themselves. Your post is basically: "Everyone is doing it, so I should be able to too." If what other people do decides how you act, then you don't actually believe in morality or have any principles. You end up no better than…
/r/ExRedPill17/11/25 10:06 PM
3

There's no magic age at which life gets easier for anything. What makes life easier is: Self Awareness understanding your traits, how they can be strengths and weaknesses depending on the context and environment understanding your internal emotional state understanding what you need and want and why its a good or bad thing Self Management using your traits to your best interest understanding how to regulate your internal emotional state so you can act in your best interest Knowing how and what t…
/r/ExRedPill14/11/25 11:09 PM
6

It's really not. Figuring out how to manage your own personal baggage so that you have developed the ability to maintain your mental and physical wellbeing so it doesn't poison potential relationships. That's complicated. But when you've managed that, relationships aren't complicated at all. When I was with an ex-gf (I actually loved her and still do), I looked forward to seeing her the vast (like 99%) majority of the time. That's all relationships are. Just hanging out with someone who really l…
/r/ExRedPill08/11/25 03:53 AM
10

Men usually get seduced by redpill content due to low self-esteem and relationship issues. The low self-esteem and relationship issues usually happen because they have latent beliefs and values that seem harmless or even positive, but are actually destructive because they don't align with actual reality. So when they experience reality that contradicts their beliefs about love, sex, women etc... they can get a brutal reality check that's emotionally very painful. I bet you he had such an experie…
/r/ExRedPill07/11/25 06:51 PM
16

a lot of men feel unappreciated. Different men mean different things when they say this. For some appreciation = deference and submission. They don't feel unappreciated because they are with women who are not deferential or submissive. For some appreciation = admiring the qualities and traits the man brings to the relationship as person not just a bf. They don't feel unappreciated because they are with women who don't actually like their qualities. Why does this happen? This misalignment comes f…
/r/ExRedPill06/11/25 05:30 PM
0

This. If a woman is being ambiguous or you ever feel things are confusing, she's playing the field and messing with you. Leave.
/r/ExRedPill06/11/25 04:23 PM
2

Well abstraction and intellectualism aren't intrinsically bad. The issue is, these people (Orion Taraban, Jordan Peterson, and the rest of the manosphere) aren't engaging in good faith. Intellectualism is just a form of power. Mental power specifically; it's the ability to critically analyze using reasoning skills like logic in order to arrive at coherent assertions. Put simply, intellectuals create knowledge from information. The issue is that power (knowledge in this case) is amoral. It can be…
/r/ExRedPill06/11/25 03:36 PM
5

In order of importance: False or incomplete beliefs - For example, they believe men and women are innately different. The whole truth is men and women are two overlapping circles in a venn-diagram and the similarities outnumber the differences. This has powerful implications because if one understands women to be very similar to you has a man, you don't take their potential misbehavior as personally. Low-self esteem - when you have low-self esteem you tend to place extremely unrealistic importan…
/r/ExRedPill03/11/25 01:50 PM
3

First of all, I think we gotta recategorize what shitty means. Unless this girl actively hid this from you, it really wasn't your business to know any of that until you got to know her. That's not a disguise it's privacy. And correct me if I'm misunderstanding, she told you on the first date. That shows integrity. She let you know before you wasted any of your time or invested much in her. I'm not saying it would have been wise to date her. Clearly she was going through psychological issues and …
/r/ExRedPill29/10/25 06:48 AM
9

It's all about values and belief systems. What you value and what you believe determines how you think the world is and should be. Furthermore it is part of the foundation of your self-esteem. Unfortunately, there's is in fact an objective reality that doesn't care if your beliefs don't align with it. This is psychologically painful to realize if your self image and identity is based on misaligned beliefs and the world doesn't play along. So everyone has two options: they can revise their belief…
/r/ExRedPill24/10/25 08:00 PM
7

The BF takes it seriously
/r/ExRedPill24/10/25 05:55 PM
6

That was the point in the past, it started as a self-help ideology for naive men to understand the ugly side of women, but now its been taken over by extremists who just want to control women. Like everything else, things change. Sometimes not for the better. My point remains, women's imperfection is not an excuse to become a jackass. The redpill doesn't seem to understand that and if they do, they don't do a good job of showing it.
/r/ExRedPill22/10/25 09:52 PM
11

This is part of the women are people too category. People can be vain and egotistical, women are no exception. If you genuinely think the woman you are currently dealing with is vain, just walk away. The issue is when you use the interaction as an excuse to be a jackass and/or make generalizations about the whole gender. Which is one of the problems with the redpill. They may have an accurate observation about some situation, but use that situation or observation as an excuse to make an extreme …
/r/ExRedPill22/10/25 03:57 PM
5

You understand, masculinity is not the exclusion of femininity just like femininity is not the exclusion of masculinity. They are flip sides of the same human coin and when either gender seeks to erase their complementary side in each other they turn into self destructive caricatures of themselves. I hope to have kids one day and I think what I would tell my young son or daughter is this: Your identity is yours by right, you do not have to prove it to anyone. Do not let anyone tell you how to be…
/r/ExRedPill22/10/25 01:19 AM
14

Make them aware of how conventional/traditional/masculinity came to be and why. Historically, traditional masculine norms are a holdover from times when humanity was frequently at war (or I should say more than it now) And war is old men sending young boys to their deaths for causes they had little part in creating. The thing is, in their default state, little boys are much more balanced in masculinity and femininity, just like little girls tend to be more balanced before their socialization too…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/25 05:31 PM
1

The mistake wasn't crying, it was not determining that she was the type of woman to not hold it against you before marrying her. That said, what is the detail and context around it? It may be that she's agitated not to the crying, but that some issue isn't being resolved.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/25 03:54 AM
3

Yeah, some women want the fantasy of invulnerable masculinity rather than the reality of human man. Better to show some vulnerability early in the relationship so you know what type of woman you're dealing with.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/25 03:49 AM
2

You get it. Ultimately, he needs to get to the point where he can face himself. Because his consumption of the manosphere and bitterness towards women is coming from his unwillingness to take responsibility. I'm not saying his ex didn't hurt him, women are people too for better and for worse, but he's running away from acknowledging his share of the choices in his circumstances and using all women as a scapegoat. When he can stop that, he can finally move on and find happiness
/r/ExRedPill10/09/25 02:45 AM
2

Thanks I read it. I'll keep what I wrote up, but add this: He needs to stop watching whatever social media (instagram, youtube videos, etc) sources that he is most definitely consuming. They are good at offering half truths that are appealing (ego validation) but they intentionally stoke his fear and anger and don't actually help. He needs to confront his pain from his failed relationship not drown it with alcohol. That's why he's drinking, he's using the alcohol as self medication so he doesn't…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/25 07:13 PM
1

Without further details my advice will be limited but here's what I can say: Everyone needs an ego for self-esteem, and egos need reassurance/validation from both internal (inner drives, likes and motivations, etc) and external (achievements, relationships, etc) sources. When your ego is getting a good supply and balance of both sources, it is deemed healthy because your self-esteem has multiple and varied sources to get reassurance and validation. When your ego is not getting much validation, o…
/r/ExRedPill09/09/25 06:57 PM
3

Not interested in platforming him anymore than I have to. It happens in almost every video so watch him yourself if that's what you want. But a good example would be assertions he makes about men and women's suitability for certain types of roles: Men and women are innately different because men are naturally better at leadership roles, and women are naturally better at nurturing roles.
/r/ExRedPill03/09/25 05:20 PM
11

That is the crux of it. He's skilled at what I call truth sandwiching; hiding messed up stuff in between things that are correct and it requires a lot of time and thought to pull apart the deception. It's not worth it to me to watch him when they are so many other better sources.
/r/ExRedPill03/09/25 02:20 PM
20

He's... seductive. He's not frothing like many redpillers. And a lot of the times, he's not even necessarily wrong in a technical sense. How can I put this, he follows the Jordan Peterson school of redpill misogyny. He presents himself as a reasonable man. And his credentials as a psychologist lend him an air of credibility. Especially because he can use very big and technical sounding words. But he does a lot of truth out of context or begging the question; where he'll assert things that don't …
/r/ExRedPill03/09/25 04:42 AM
1

So I'm extremely late to this post. But I can't help but think you're missing one very huge variable. Men are physically more capable than women most of the time. Now I'm not saying that excuses women's sexual assault, what I'm saying is that I think the thought process why people don't react as strong to "double standards" when it comes to physical interactions is because the power dynamic is usually asymmetrical towards the man. I'm inclined to agree. Does that mean its ok when the woman does …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/08/25 01:36 AM
15

Because lve been on test for the last 2 years on and off and dont think its helped me one bit with women. Maybe for some people it helps but for me it doesnt do shit. literlly got more girls in highschool when was low T and a nerd. That's because personality affects your sex life more than your t-levels. And sure testosterone influences personality to an extent, but only a small aspect of it and furthermore your t-levels are only a part of the overall system that influences sex drive and male se…
/r/ExRedPill16/07/25 07:47 PM
10

Some advice will work more often than not but there's no advice that works for all situations. You're looking for certainty, which is where you're going wrong. You want the advice of: If I do x, I get y. That doesn't exist and it never did Remember, life is about probabilities. And a lot of advice is given with the unwritten fine print Your milage may vary based on the circumstance and variables involved. For example, yes cold approaching generally doesn't work most times, but there's been a few…
/r/ExRedPill09/07/25 05:44 PM
10

I'm going to keep it simple for you. Just like you, women are human beings. Just like you, some will think and believe stupid things. There are plenty of them. Just like you, some will think and believe great things. There are plenty of them. Learn to introspect on your beliefs so that you can remove the shitty ones and choose the women who believe the things you think are important, Leave the ones who don't believe in what you believe alone. It's that simple. The difficulty is in learning how t…
/r/ExRedPill08/07/25 06:45 PM
1

You misunderstood my comments. Estrogen itself isn't associated with irrationality and anxiety. High amounts of it is. Similar to how High amounts of testosterone is associated with higher aggression and also irrationality. The key word is high. Dosage (amounts) matters just as much as the thing itself. Hormones are molecules that act in several roles, but the main one are as messengers that signal many other parts of the body to do something; they help coordinate body functions from your muscle…
/r/ExRedPill01/07/25 02:51 PM
19

Feminism is a beneficial ideology for both men and women. But any ideology can be co-opted for selfish and malicious ends. There is a strain of man-hating feminism that understandably makes some women feel better about misogynist cultures that attacks them so much. But like we all know, just because something makes you feel good, doesn't actually mean it is. You should read a book by Bell Hooks (Feminist Theory), a third wave feminist who gave a great analysis and critique of the different waves…
/r/ExRedPill26/06/25 01:33 PM
2

One hundred percent. Furthermore, lot much of of people's (not just redpill) problem's in dating is stems from trying to have their relationship be source of the validation and fulfillment they are supposed to be getting from their life. That's just not a realistic or sustainable expectation. It's too much to put on the other person AND it leaves too much your happiness/fulfillment in one basket.
/r/ExRedPill25/06/25 05:04 PM
4

The point of this subreddit is to help guys find clarity and peace of mind away from the redpill. It was clear from your post that is not your intent, it is even more clearer from your responses that your intent is self aggrandizement, like I suspected. That is why chose to speak instead of say nothing.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/25 03:15 AM
8

Judgement is required of every interaction, the issue is the criteria being used for judgement. While seemingly admirable, here you are using a subreddit for your own personal soliciting. Which is not the point of the subreddit. If allowances are made for you, they have to be made for everyone. Which means the subreddit is no longer used for its intended purposes. My judgement of your post is fair. Use another platform for that.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/25 05:56 PM
20

I see. You can do whatever you want on your show. But this subreddit and most subreddits aren't for platforming or soliciting help for people's private endeavors
/r/ExRedPill23/06/25 03:52 PM
12

I'm confused. I don't have a show...
/r/ExRedPill23/06/25 03:20 PM
17

Don't know, don't care. I don't think it's a good idea to give these people anymore a platform on this, yours or other sites than they already do.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/25 03:06 PM
1

A significant percentage of the population does to some extent. The misogyny in the redpill didn't come from no where, its a amplification of an already misogynist culture just applied to dating and romance. We don't know the inner dynamics and circumstances of your relationship with your parents, so most advice here will be sorely lacking. However, what I can say is that when it comes to values and beliefs: Actions speak louder than words and more important consistent behavior that portrays wha…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/25 03:22 AM
6

Oh really? Kristi Noem and countless women like her are calling. You're putting women on a pedestal. Just because women aren't as physical, direct and explicit about how they do their aggression doesn't mean they don't engage in it or it doesn't have the same impact. Violence and aggression comes in many forms, not just the physical and women often use indrect means to enact their aggression; typically goading idiotic men into doing their violence for them. Ironically, you're actually perpetuati…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/25 01:04 AM
8

You're indulging in poor logic born from low self-esteem and self loathing. Testosterone, like all components of the body is amoral. It is a biological tool that fulfills necessary functions in male physical and mental health. Yes, it has associations with the more negative aspects of male psychology, but everything has positive and negative influences and effects. Nothing in this reality is all good at all times and everything has a point of diminishing returns. Not to mention the dynamics of m…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/25 11:57 PM
1

Yep, the difficulty of getting someone out of this way of thinking lies in the fact they're not wrong about the negative parts of life. But they absolutely refuse to see the positive parts that are possible. But they don't want to because that would mean they would have to put in work in things that are uncomfortable. It's exhausting, and honestly? Kind of pathetic.
/r/ExRedPill17/06/25 02:11 PM
6

At it's core the blackpill is just a statement made on reality and it goes like "among all the factors that influence human relationships, physical attractiveness is the most important one" that's it, everything else is interpretation, inference and how people view it. The definition you are using is basically the redpill. The blackpill is even more absolutist than that: "Among all the factors that influence human relationships, physical attractiveness is the only one and furthermore it is prede…
/r/ExRedPill16/06/25 02:25 PM
14

It's worse than that. The blackpill is nihilism AND complete pessimism applied to dating and romance. It assumes that the most negative outcome in anything you do when it comes to dating is guaranteed. Basically, they intentionally focus all of the factors that may be working against you in dating (biology, environment, etc) and completely disregard an factors that could help you (self-improvement, your personality strengths, ability to improve your filter for women, ability to change your envir…
/r/ExRedPill16/06/25 01:22 PM
0

Same here. I get how hard it can be, especially when there's so much romance media that says you should be persistent in pursuing, but I've realized that media like that is catered to the female fantasy of romance and not the realistic daily dynamics of a healthy relationship based on mutual reciprocity. Then you have your own desire on top of that trying to convince you that maybe if you just do XYZ there's a chance lol.
/r/ExRedPill15/06/25 01:08 AM
3

Agreed. I would also add that it also takes advantage of the human mind's desire to take the path of least effort and risk. The brutal truth is that the best things in life: relationships, self-actualization, fulfillment) require continuous internal and external work, openness to vulnerability, acceptance of risk of failure AND the positive mindset and perseverance to keep trying new things despite failure. It is no wonder that the people most prone to the red-pill are those who don't want to de…
/r/ExRedPill13/06/25 03:06 PM
13

Understandable. Women are human beings, like you. This means they can hold poor beliefs just like men. So, your insecurity stems from a belief that you are not good enough for love. And you believe money & status will make you good enough. However, I think you also know that money and status is not truly representative of who you are as a person. This conflict of beliefs and the resulting projection from believing women are judging for things that don't really represent you leads to resentment t…
/r/ExRedPill11/06/25 08:11 PM
13

You need to critically inspect your value system. Your values and beliefs determine what you perceive from others. So, if you're afraid of golddiggers, it's because some belief inside you is projecting itself on to women. What do you think makes someone worthy of love? Money? Status? Is that how you measure your worth? If you think you're only worthwhile because you make money, then you will project that onto women. But this is just something I like to tell myself because when I am right, it mak…
/r/ExRedPill11/06/25 05:33 PM
2

The reason for the irrationality and inconsistency is that people have different ideas of what will make them happy. But regardless they are still looking to be happy, even if they don't know what the ingredients to happiness is, or they've absorbed poor ideas of how to obtain it from their experiences. In any case, because you keep trying (and failing) to pick apart my comments by making the most obtuse and pessimistic rebuttals, I think you're just determined to be unhappy. I'm done with this …
/r/ExRedPill04/06/25 03:34 PM
2

You've made a false assertion. In reality, worry can be about things both in or out of your control. What happens is that people perceive that something is out of their control, but that's because they either don't have the imagination, are too stressed, or too demotivated to consider more options. That's where relationships come into play. Life is cruel. Two (or more) heads are better than one at solving its challenges, or getting through relatively unscathed. Another person can provide a diffe…
/r/ExRedPill04/06/25 07:18 AM
3

What's the point of dating? To find someone to be in a romantic relationship with. What's the point of romantic relationships? To spend time with someone who adds happiness and fulfillment to your life. What is happiness and fulfillment? The ability to be at peace (freedom from worry) and maintain well-being. So to be attractive, i.e. someone who others want to date, you need to be able to add well-being to other people's lives. The most attractive people are those who have that ability. That is…
/r/ExRedPill03/06/25 06:23 PM
9

I'd believe it. Promiscuity at its core is just another lifestyle/subculture and people within subcultures don't tend stray to far outside it. From my anecdotal experience as someone who got more female attention later in life, they're all sleeping together. Which makes sense if you think about it
/r/ExRedPill01/06/25 12:12 AM
10

Because the people who prescribe to it are anxious from their fears and insecurities in dating and manhood. Fundamentally, the redpill is born from anxiety derived from irrational values and beliefs of gender roles and romance. And when you think from a place of anxiety you create and obsess over pointless trivial things in an attempt to create a sense of control to relieve the anxiety. Furthermore, they don't memorize them well. Anxious ideologies like this a famous for tripping over their own …
/r/ExRedPill27/04/25 10:05 PM
4

Is that so? It didn't cross your mind that there are people who are involuntarily celibate because they have terrible social skills, crippling anxiety, physical disfigurements, neurodivergence or the myriad of other valid reasons for someone to find it hard to establish the connections for love and romance etc... but don't actually hate women? Because that's actually a huge group of people. Does that group contain people who are far-right and misogynist Absolutely! It does very often happen so I…
/r/ExRedPill21/04/25 09:58 PM
2

There is, but I think the point people are trying to make is that there is a distinction between incel & redpilled/far-right. The desperation from being an incel often can lead to redpilled far-right views. But it's not automatic. And you're treating it as if it is. That's the problem. It's not pedantic to maintain that distinction because while there are many guys who are involuntarily celibate AND hate women; there are even more guys who are involuntarily celibate and DON'T hate women. If you …
/r/ExRedPill21/04/25 01:17 PM
7

Benevolent patriarchy doesn't help men or women in the long term. For a guy, he's only as valued for how much he can "provide" for the woman, but we all know life happens regularly and people lose their jobs/money all the time. Your worth is completely temporary. For the woman she gives up her independence and is pretty much subservient to the guy. It's one of those things that sounds good, but actually sucks if you take time to think about it
/r/ExRedPill18/04/25 12:47 PM
3

Building, as in the ways signs of romance are typically shown like intimate touching of areas that would be inappropriate for platonic friends for example. I'm not denying that your case doesn't happen, especially with those who are emotionally starved and primed to see any friendliness as romantic interest. What I'm saying is that there are cases when a normal person can be led to believe that there was something other than friendship happening because the other person is acting in a way that s…
/r/ExRedPill15/04/25 10:20 PM
4

I think it's possible for some type of romance to have built, but then the other person changes their mind for whatever reason. If this is what is being referred to as the friendzone, then sure it's a thing that can happen and it sucks when it does. I think the issue, at least for me is one: It puts the locus of control on the woman to determine the relationship, when it's really a two-way street, whether it's intended to be romantic or not Many guys act like a woman has no right to change their…
/r/ExRedPill15/04/25 09:12 PM
4

Because sometimes there were, sometimes there was something building and you notice it, but the other person changes their mind.
/r/ExRedPill15/04/25 08:58 PM
4

Yep, if I had to summarize both men and women's most common dating mistakes it'd be: Not understanding themselves (who they are and what they want) Looking into the wrong group of people (people that don't much like what they like) Not pushing themselves out of their comfort zone to the right group of people (never participating in any activities both genders enjoy) Almost every dating complaint I hear is someone not doing one or more of these three things. If I have to hear another homebody shu…
/r/ExRedPill08/04/25 09:00 PM
5

Just to be clear, I agree the premise is false and that should be the focus. But to explain, the actual fear is that the women who don't get with the chads will be settling and faking their love. The fear is that they will be the schmuck "investing" in a woman who doesn't actually love them and will leave them at the first sign of a chad who becomes available. It's all projection, they can't fathom others prioritizing things other than looks, money or fame so they think women can't either and ar…
/r/ExRedPill08/04/25 04:16 PM
40

It's definitely possible. Women are human beings, for better AND for worse. The questions you must ask yourself are: Why are looks, money and status the only things you cared to pay attention to? Is that actually what you care about or is that what you've been conditioned to care about? Do you believe it's acceptable for women to face the same risk that a man could leave them, but not you? What do you actually care about? Why aren't you spending your time focused on those things? These are rheto…
/r/ExRedPill07/04/25 12:11 PM
4

Your logic is essentially: Women find certain traits attractive. Psychopaths show more of these traits Therefore, women like psychopathy itself. Your reasoning is bad. Sure, psychopaths can get a leg up in creating connections because they exhibit more attractive traits, but that's not because normal people can't. It's because they aren't as risk taking and aggressive in going after sex without caring about the consequences or how their actions might affect others. There numerus studies that sho…
/r/ExRedPill28/03/25 07:58 PM
6

In order to fix a problem and assign blame, you have to correctly identify it first. Your values and base assumptions of life will determine what you can perceive and identify. They hold values of masculinity, universal base assumptions and beliefs that blind them to the misogyny. A lot of times they genuinely don't perceive their values as misogynistic. You can't reflect on what you don't see, so they never blame misogyny, only the women.
/r/ExRedPill26/03/25 03:46 PM
8

Because it targets what you are afraid of. Only problem is that people tend to make their fears bigger than they actually are Find out what someone is afraid of, and you can easily manipulate them.
/r/ExRedPill19/03/25 06:47 PM
1

It's possible, but the society also needs to support that. Children require time, money and resources from their parents. Hyper-capitalism requires constant growth of profits. Generating profits requires time, money and resources from the parents. The problem is that if a society is hypercapitalistic (driven by ONLY profits), that society will inevitably work to eliminate the minimum time, money and resources for those two parents to be able to raise that child in order to keep the bottomless ho…
/r/ExRedPill16/03/25 07:23 PM
15

Yes, like with everything, it's a choice. And there are tools and non invasive treatments for narcissism. You'll probably need help from a professional though, it's probably difficult to do solo and there's no point in wasting time trying to
/r/ExRedPill10/03/25 01:28 PM
9

Sure, in the sense that there are people that make bad decisions to "settle" for others for whatever reason. But that's not really specific to women is it? >My confusion is that I just don’t understand why it would be so difficult to find a partner with the positive attributes from both groups lol. It's not, there are plenty of people that are stable and also put energy into maintaining their sexual attractiveness and have fun. It's just that they are good at avoiding the people that aren't. The…
/r/ExRedPill06/03/25 07:19 AM
2

At its core, executing gender identity is just a way to tell other people how you prefer them to interact with you. That's it. It's literally just a nonverbal way to hint that "Hey this is the set of traits/norms on the spectrum of gender roles that I like when I'm with other people." The thing is, you can decide to mix and match norms and traits on that spectrum. *** There is no actual binding objective rule saying that either gender can do or have one set of traits.*** None. Most of the traits…
/r/ExRedPill26/02/25 09:52 PM
2

There are words, there are their meanings, and then there are the different contexts words are used that change their meanings. Incel at its core means that you're involuntary celibate - you don't have sex for reasons outside your control. Those reasons could be anything from: you're literally mentally or physically disabled, to you are in an environment with very few possible sexual mates, to you have poor social skills so others are not choosing to be with you, to numerous other reasons. Now t…
/r/ExRedPill24/02/25 03:46 PM
3

: O
/r/ExRedPill23/02/25 11:43 AM
18

What .... My brother in Christ, you're ranting... with yourself. This sub is about escaping redpill ideology. It doesn't sound like you're trying to do that so...
/r/ExRedPill23/02/25 11:39 AM
9

Exactly. The point of positive thinking isn't that it will magically make all your dreams come true because the uNiVeRsE wIlL aCt to AliGn with your pOsiTiVity or some stupid nonsense like that. The point is that it prevents the negative thoughts from stopping the actual actions you were doing that would have made your goals happen in the future. OP is a direct example. OP was doing what he was supposed to, and if he keeps it up for a year, its pretty much certain he'll lose 50-75 lbs and be on …
/r/ExRedPill23/02/25 02:05 AM
18

I used to be obese, so I know just how painful the shame and self loathing you are feeling right now is. First off, I want to commend you for this: I was at the gym today trying to work out It may seem like nothing, but when you're as big as we've gotten, fighting your internal embarrassment to be in the gym is no small task in itself. Hold on to the courage with everything you have, you're going to need it. Second, I want to tell you that there is hope. Even if it doesn't appear like there is. …
/r/ExRedPill22/02/25 09:05 PM
1

We'll just have to disagree
/r/ExRedPill05/02/25 06:54 AM
1

to but rather female behavior that they couldn't understand It can be both, and actually one stems from the other. Men and women aren't as different as you'd think. But both are currently operating on caricatures of their gender identity, that is they are both trying to live up to unrealistic ideals of themselves. Men are over-masculinizing themselves and women are over-feminizing themselves. So both find it difficult to understand each other due to the (self inflicted) lack of common ground. I'…
/r/ExRedPill04/02/25 11:58 PM
1

The other things you mentioned exist, but they aren't what actually drives the ideology. They are symptomatic obsessions that redpilled men fixate on due to their insecurity at inevitably failing to live up to the masculine pillars I listed. It's the unrealistic standard of manhood that creates the insecurity that then leads to the fearful obsessions about chads, hypergamy etc. I know women definitely want a man with a vibrant social life and status (I've had many women tell me that, verbatim). …
/r/ExRedPill04/02/25 10:02 PM
7

You're making a negative broad generalization about women that doesn't make any sense with any critical thought. This is how you get sucked into redpill thinking. You make a negative premise in your mind that ignores huge swaths of the population. You obsess about that assertion, making it seem bigger than it is. Then because the assertion feeds into your fears about never finding a good relationship or being good enough for women, it makes you even more afraid. From that fear, you get angry at …
/r/ExRedPill01/02/25 05:41 PM
16

I never fully got into the redpill, though I did flirt with it at one point. In anycase I think I can still understand the anxiety around this topic. It seems to me the people most afraid of this, see relationships as means to prove their worth because they don't view themselves as worthy without people, status or things. I think in my mind, I believe I am worthy not because of what I have materially or the status I make hold in friend group but because I believe I can add happiness to other peo…
/r/ExRedPill01/02/25 12:18 AM
4

Sometimes an idea can seem like a good thing in the short term or in a certain situation, but it's important to look at it in depth and for the long term. That's why it's good to use time periodically to check in with yourself on. What you want Why you want it Who or from where you got the idea. Meta cognition and meditation isn't some woo woo magic thing, it's just taking the time to critically think about your thoughts and behavior and really asking yourself why you think the way you do and wh…
/r/ExRedPill29/01/25 02:27 AM
7

TRP is mostly based on the idea that you don't deserve love as a man unless you prove it by performing masculinity through a very narrow range of criteria: Never be vulnerable or show weakness. Win over everyone at all times. Men are always better than women at anything not domestic. Basically, it says that unless your framework of manhood is centered around these unrealistic ideals, you are not man enough for the approval of "real men" and the love of a woman. These ideals are impossible and no…
/r/ExRedPill28/01/25 10:31 PM
2

These are tendencies not hard and fast rules, I told another commenter you could have all of them and still not be in the redpill for whatever reason.
/r/ExRedPill26/01/25 05:30 PM
5

Some was from first hand experience with flirting with the red pill since I had poor social skills and self maintenance. Fortunately I was able to back out quickly because I'm generally pretty positive minded and I didn't have an unrealistic view of women. At a certain point, the hypocrisy was too much for me to ignore and honestly the constant negativity by redpillers got annoying. Some I got from a paper I read about the redpill mindset. Some I got from YouTubers like waving the red flag.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/25 02:11 AM
1

It's simple. Nothing is ever uniform in nature. There are always variations, human attraction is no exception. A person's attraction criteria are a mix of many factors, physical appearance, personality etc. Each person has a different mix of criteria. The most common mix is usually a bit of all of them. But there are plenty of men and women whose mix is made up of more of one than the others, or just one or two factors. Could be all physical, could be all personality, could be all something else…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 06:20 PM
9

Coincidentally or perhaps ironically enough, your profile name is an aspect of point one. A lot of these red pill men subconsciously view women as only either "pure", "clean" and sexually inexperienced good girls, or devious, sexually manipulative sluts, (see the Madonna-Whore Complex). So they put women on a pedestal, harboring these lofty moral expectations that women would never think or act in a way that wouldn't hurt you as a man. But women are human beings, and that comes with the good, ba…
/r/ExRedPill24/01/25 10:27 AM
16

The most common traits of those who are most susceptible to the redpill: Belief in unrealistic ideals of manhood or womanhood - They believe a man should be unemotional, dominant in everything, invulnerable and never in need of any help. This set of ideals is not possible for anyone rich or poor, but regardless they will hurt themselves emotionally or physically trying to live up to it. In addition, they tend to see women as a fundamentally different species and for whatever reason refuse to acc…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/25 10:04 PM
5

I get the feeling you're not going to stop obsessing so I'm going to end this conversation here
/r/ExRedPill09/01/25 09:52 PM
12

Sometimes people suck, sometimes they don't. More at 11. That's basically what your post boils down to. Ok, what of it? Women are just human beings, like you. They can be just as influenced by social programming as men and that can shape how they make their romantic/sexual choices. There are absolutely women who will make their choice of men on negative traits. There are absolutely women who will make their choice of men on positive traits. There are absolutely women who will make their choice o…
/r/ExRedPill09/01/25 08:58 PM
24

I mean sure? But I've already told you women are just human beings. The answer when you meet anyone acting the fool (man or woman) is just to stop interacting with that one and move on. I get that this is frustrating, but women have the same problem when dealing with men. A lot of dudes have idiotic caricatures of women in their heads that aren't aligned with reality either. The amount of idiotic takes guys have on their delusional idea of what it means for a woman to be feminine is a book as la…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/24 04:06 PM
52

But you would be surprised how many women will fall for a toxic caricature of a man versus what he really is. It's not surprising, women are just human beings, like you. Which means they can be as flawed as anyone. They just execute their brand of stupid a little (or sometimes a lot) differently in some part due to socialization and some part due to biology, also like men. So, like you found out, redpill tactics will work on some number of women. But in the long term, like you probably realized,…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/24 02:50 PM
8

I mean, are they serious? They think that if Andrew Tate beats me in a fight, he's automatically right? Or if I somehow can beat him, it would make me right about my criticism of his views and statements? Well, yes. Unfortunately. To right wing ideology, "Might makes right." Not actual factual accuracy. The redpill is just repackaged right wing ideology tailored for dating.
/r/ExRedPill21/12/24 12:13 AM
16

His not listening because the belief is not born of logic. He's into the Red pill because of fear. The ideology is just a retroactive rationalization. He knows his OCD and anxiety hurts his dating prospects and he's afraid that he will never be enough for the type of woman he's attracted to. So he's turning to the Red pill because the paradigm tells him what he wants to hear about women, since dating is a source of emotional pain for him. The fact that his girlfriend cheated makes it worse, beca…
/r/ExRedPill18/12/24 02:20 PM
10

No. You are conflating behavior for emotional state. You can be attracted to someone and never act on it. Men and Women are equally attracted to each other in the aggregate. They have the same internal sexual and emotional desire for the opposite sex. However external circumstances and/or other emotional states change whether or not men or women will act on their desire. Some examples of external factors that change behavior: Fear - Men can be 20-100lbs heavier than women, you're not going to le…
/r/ExRedPill11/12/24 09:51 PM
5

There are so many ways to be happy without wealth and fame. Happiness and fulfillment is a result of having the autonomy and resources to do the things you enjoy and come naturally to you. Simply put, it's being able to fulfill your core drives and do thing you like. And then doing them, or working towards doing them. Almost everyone has these core drives. Maybe it's creating things (craftsmanship), maybe it's helping others (nurturing), maybe its organizing things, maybe its pushing your body (…
/r/ExRedPill24/11/24 06:50 PM
9

Patriarchy was a paradigm created for rich men to hold most of the power. Rich men dangle the carrot of their version of male success onto poorer/less powerful men: A man is never emotionally vulnerable or weak. A man always has women to cater to him because he is innately better than them. A man never needs help, etc. Just outside of reach of the average man to aspire to. But the thing is, it's not possible for the vast majority of average men to become rich and powerful by exceptional traits, …
/r/ExRedPill22/11/24 11:31 PM
8

In order to do that, I think I have to be successful in some way. Well this is why you can't shake it. The red pill preys on the fear that as man, you will never be enough. Ultimately, to really shake the ideology you have to dig in and introspect on your values, what you think is successful manhood is and dissect why you think you should live up to the idea of successful manhood you have in your heart. Because a lot of your values aren't just your own. They were subconsciously installed in you …
/r/ExRedPill01/11/24 12:58 AM
11

Yep, I have a similar personality, though I'm a slightly more extraverted. Less shy, more misanthropic and bemused at society. In any case, no matter what you're working with, you'll have to get out of your comfort zone. Unfortunately, the best things in life usually cost time, energy and comfort. You will never be happy avoiding all discomfort. Romance is no different and dating puts a premium cost on comfort. AKA to date successfully, you have to get comfortable with getting uncomfortable. The…
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 11:23 PM
39

That's not the actual issue. There are actually plenty of women who are also nerdy, quiet, reserved, introverted, kind of a hermit, not much social battery, a little awkward, don't like going out much, not super fun and spontaneous, don't like clubs, partying, doesn't drink, is mostly interested in geek culture and just doesn't really relate to most people. The issue is that you and those women don't interact because you both have the types of personalities that don't engage with others much. Th…
/r/ExRedPill23/10/24 07:31 PM
10

The redpill takes observations that have a grain of truth in specific circumstances and over extrapolates them to apply to all situations. Put another way, it is centered on making hypocritical and misogynistic conclusions then working backwards by using incomplete observations about already flawed human interactions to justify their conclusions. This logic is designed to target men who have difficulties dating because they will be primed to be afraid about the ramifications of poor dating succe…
/r/ExRedPill26/09/24 05:00 AM
2

You only have one life. Then you're gone. Only you get to decide the choices you want to make experience that life. We are all born with the right to pursue life and fulfillment. But we don't all get to start with the same set of of internal abilities, resources and external circumstances to do so. This can absolutely mean that someone is born with "better" abilities, or maybe they had better circumstances, or both. Hell just the idea of "better" is dependent on the time period of existence you …
/r/ExRedPill06/09/24 05:48 PM
16

Short answer: This is a byproduct of what happens when you combine the amoral nature of capitalism and human psychology. Long answer: I'm a software developer who also has experience in development for social media marketing companies. The most important thing for social media is engagement. That is the length of time and variety of interaction a person will put into a social media post. More engagement means more money. This is because engagement is a reflection of deeper emotional connection t…
/r/ExRedPill29/08/24 09:28 PM
1

change it up, if those activities aren't introducing you to the people you want, add some new ones. regardless you're gonna have to get out of your comfort zone
/r/seduction28/08/24 01:58 AM
1

Social activities: Have you signed up for any sports (volleyball, soccer, kickball, etc), clubs (bookclub, travel club, run club, walk club) , boardgame nights at all? Do you go regularly? Do say hi to people and hold conversations with them about things you like during said activities? This isn't that complicated.
/r/seduction27/08/24 10:40 PM
1

It's not bad, just misinterpreted because of unstated assumptions and consequently referenced for the wrong phase of dating. Relationships really consist of multiple phases: Attraction - Liking a person's appearance and personality. Information Gathering - collecting deeper knowledge of the person's background and values to check for compatibility. Commitment - making the decision to stick with this person for the long term and prepping your life for that. Maintenance - taking care of the relati…
/r/seduction26/08/24 05:25 PM
1

everything they do is a game. You just described the game, and then said it’s not a game lol You're projecting here. A lot. Women aren't as complicated as all of this. I never said there wasn't gamesmanship involved, what I'm saying is that you're misunderstanding the game because you're seeing it from a male lens. The game is a lot simpler than you think and women aren't that different from men in their desires. Where they do differ is in their priorities and timing. But you don't have to be pl…
/r/seduction26/08/24 08:57 AM
1

The initial interactions are by chance yes. But you have agency to increase those chances by increasing the size of your network(friendships) and number of social hobbies/activities that you genuinely look forward to doing. Every decent friend has other friends that they may or may not choose to introduce you to other people with and those people may be a person you hit it off with. Every social activity or hobby you take up regularly increases your chance to meet someone. After that, your agenc…
/r/seduction26/08/24 08:34 AM
1

I read your other comments. You buried the lede big time. She's literally a sugar baby, she's been leveling up her charisma and interpersonal skills to devastating effect, not to mention she's probably a natural at it too. You don't have the idea to become a sugar baby if you don't think you have the capability to learn to wrap people around your thumb with lust and mental stimulation. She clocked your ass a mile away. You've let your success go to your head. The thing is, most women will have h…
/r/seduction26/08/24 08:20 AM
1

It's not the video games. It's lack of socialization and experience from being solitary for too long. As long as you keep the video games in check and make sure to have other things going on that get you in front of a variety of different people, it's fine to keep video games in your life. Hell even the girls who say they're not into gamers aren't telling you that they'll still date a gamer if he's doing stuff that they like and has an attractive body. I can tell you that from experience. My las…
/r/seduction26/08/24 12:07 AM
6

I'm not a pump and dump guy, i would feel guilty lying to and breaking hearts of women. But is it the actual way? It's not, but you might actually be revealing too much of you genuine kindness for what you're seeking. There's a kind of tactic many women have where if they meet a guy who is even moderately attractive and genuinely not an asshole, they try and pivot into turning him into BF even if they were initially down for something casual. It's because many women genuinely think every guy is …
/r/seduction24/08/24 07:06 AM
3

Depends on how big the gap is and what you mean by dating. I think you can still have some fun times, but most women who aren't crazy or carrying baggage/emotional issues won't want to seriously date someone too much older than them. They might hookup or have have a FWB/casual relationship. But any thing serious will usually be a no. Or let me put it this way, any early 20's women that you'd want to tie yourself to in any way would balk at the idea of seriously dating a guy who's 8, 9, 10 years …
/r/seduction24/08/24 06:44 AM
13

You know I've noticed something you've touched on: 18-25 is already a rough age as we’re people who were kids a few years ago and adjusting to adult rules and we’re still trying to figure out what we like, what we’re good at, who/what we like and dislike, what we stand for, etc. etc.They tend to be less swayed by outside influences and have strong values. They’re more sociable, they test you less, they’re considerate of other people, less dramatic, and overall less bitchy. It seems one of the bi…
/r/seduction24/08/24 02:42 AM
40

I don't understand why they believe a relationship has to be miserable. Because they're miserable. Your inside world influences how you see the outside world, and thus others. And because they perceive women as the source of their misery, they blame them for it. The people who get out of the redpill mindset are the ones that realize women didn't make them miserable, something else did.
/r/ExRedPill21/08/24 11:54 AM
13

Not only do they love men, they crave us. Just like we crave them. We just need to shed the exploitative influence of hyper-masculinity so that we can connect with them and they to us. Because the truth is while feminine and masculine traits may appear more in one gender, both genders have all of the traits in them. And when either tries to shed the "opposite" side they become the worst version of themselves. Men who shed their feminine side become over domineering and incapable of truly connect…
/r/ExRedPill21/08/24 03:43 AM
1

This sounds exhausting, I just play it straight and talk/text when I see the messages and am not busy. If they mistake that for thirst or whatever other stupidity that runs in the mind of people who care about this type of thing, I just move on. I have definitely lost dates because of it, but I don't mind because my free time and peace of mind is more important than whatever... this is. I have less partners over the years than most people, but the relationships (both casual and committed) last l…
/r/seduction19/08/24 09:48 PM
1

For casual relationships, yes they the priority for most people, for anything deeper personality becomes the priority.
/r/seduction19/08/24 09:40 PM
5

there is truth in jokes Kind of. You're close. There can be truth in what a person believes in jokes Humor as concept is very hard to define, but one of its core principles is that it is almost directly derived from your values. You don't find this stuff funny anymore because your values have changed. We cannot judge them as terrible people YET, but we can say they have not learned to introspect on their values and how their resulting jokes reveal what they actually think about other people who …
/r/ExRedPill19/08/24 03:25 AM
27

He's disingenuous about his political ideologies. That is, he states his views in an ambiguous manner so that he never has to be held accountable to them. Which in an of itself isn't the most terrible crime, but it becomes an issue when you are asserting yourself as a public figure who critiques socio-political discourse. He wants to have the cake of having followers but doesn't want to have to be held to critical analysis. This is not acceptable for a political figurehead who can influence mill…
/r/ExRedPill18/08/24 10:03 PM
1

What? How is that what you got from my post? Please explain, I want you to break down how you ever interpreted that insane line of logic.
/r/ExRedPill16/08/24 07:43 AM
3

Physical appearance matters and it is important for sexual attraction for most people, do not make the mistake of making a pendulum swing to completely disregarding it as shallow. My point is that one should be careful about not letting it distract you from the bigger picture. If you're you're dating for a serious long term relationship, that's going to require a deeper foundation. So while important appearance should be second to personality. If you're you're dating casually, a deeper connectio…
/r/ExRedPill12/08/24 03:14 PM
3

I'm mean I don't necessarily disagree per say but I'm not sure how any of what you've said invalidates my post, all you've done in your reply is focus on the factors that I already said were out of most people control. You can only play the cards you've been dealt. That was the assumption you should have inferred from: "the criteria for judging those leagues should be based on the things people have control over, not what they don't."
/r/ExRedPill12/08/24 09:59 AM
5

I'm going to do the TL;DR first, then you can read the full thesis if you wish: There are leagues, but the criteria for judging those leagues should be based on the things people have control over, not what they don't. The healthiest and most sustainable way to judge others is to consider both a person's inside and outside, prioritizing the inside. You both seem to be doing the opposite, Life is full of paradoxes, and this is an example of another one. There aren't leagues in the sense that ever…
/r/ExRedPill12/08/24 06:58 AM
16

The concept of attraction isn't one thing, but an umbrella term for the multiple ways you can feel desire for another person. That can be platonically, romantically or purely lust. Attractiveness is really a synonym for desirability, the other person has some set of traits that you want to experience in your life, so you think of them as attractive. All of the forms of attraction are subject to each person's subjective mix of criteria for what is desirable: personality, physical appearance, soci…
/r/ExRedPill30/07/24 09:52 PM
4

Thanks! It's all what I realized meant by the phrase "Just be yourself," after forcing myself outside my comfort zone and getting out there and meeting people through my hobbies and working on myself. That phrase is well intentioned, just left out too many important details.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/24 04:51 PM
8

Lol, yeah it's bad advice, not because it won't work, but because it'll draw the type of women I don't think you actually want. Be continuously improving your mind and body (it doesn't have to be a lot, just a work in progress where you're doing a little each day). Engage in activities you actually enjoy that draw both men and women. Being someone who takes care of themselves inside and out while being happy doing the things you enjoy is what draws people's interest. Because at the end of the da…
/r/ExRedPill12/07/24 09:10 PM
17

How old are you? Because to be honest, those women sound emotionally immature. It's true in the sense that some women respond to that, definitely. But they tend to be younger or emotionally immature or stunted if they are older. So the advice can work, but you usually end up with someone foolish. Which I guess is fine if you're as young as they are. Here's the truth: If you you go with being hard to get, you'll end up with girls that respond to that type of behavior. If you go with being aloof, …
/r/ExRedPill12/07/24 07:44 PM
3

I’ve said it in other posts and I’ll say it here: The redpill ideology centers on an ultra-negative world view that obsesses over factoids made out of context. Stop. Yes being short can hurt your desirability as man for some women and it sucks that you have no control over this. But: There are also a significant amount of women that do not care. It is only one of many traits that you have no control over that can hurt your desirability. Your study didn’t even prove your point. You need to stop c…
/r/ExRedPill09/07/24 07:30 AM
9

We need more details. One thing I've noticed with redpilled people is that they tend to be obsessive (overthinking) and have an ultra-negative world view that distorts the way they interpret other people's words and actions. The girl was absolutely repulsed and told me to get the fuck out of her and take a hike. In the middle of....you know, doing it, she seemingly lost all respect and desire of me. The way you worded these sentences lends me to think that you're indulging in this tendency. I've…
/r/ExRedPill08/07/24 09:25 PM
8

The issue with dating coaches is you're usually only going to be able to attract the type of people the coaches are, or regularly engage with. But who knows if those are the type of women who will actually like and respect your specific personality? That's why you need to go outside and do stuff where both genders are present and talk to some of the women while you're doing the stuff. There are a lot of different types of women and its not possible for dating coaches to teach you about all of th…
/r/ExRedPill03/07/24 04:49 AM
8

Their existence. I'm only being semi sarcastic. Nothing makes anyone worthwhile in the grand scheme of things. Everyone and their actions will be lost to time, eventually. There's no intrinsic or objective meaning or point to life. That means you get to decide what's important to you and what you think is worth doing. So you no longer have to judge yourself by societal arbitrary metrics that will end up meaningless. Do what you enjoy and help other people do the same. That will will make you hap…
/r/ExRedPill14/06/24 10:10 PM
6

Well you're making the mistake of taking rejection as equal to value. The problem is that there are too many reasons you will be rejected that have nothing to do with your "value" A good example is of a couple dates I went with a girl. We had a great connection but a few core values of mine did not align with hers. And I didn't continue dating. She was peeved, but it doesn't matter no amount of sexual chemistry or great personality will convince me to date someone I don't share values with. Does…
/r/ExRedPill14/06/24 07:38 PM
4

Some of the observations the redpill ideology makes are accurate and more importantly they speak to or acknowledge the difficulties men have in dating without attacking or belittling them. But a broken clock is correct twice a day. And just because the redpill is sometimes right doesn't mean it isn't broken. The issue is that it is based on a paradigm of masculinity that was never realistic. Most men fail to live up to the standards of hyper-masculinity because the real truth is that men and wom…
/r/ExRedPill11/06/24 12:32 AM
8

The pathology is actually the same for men and women. Now she’s trying to get with this older man who will take care of her and her daughter(into a potentially dangerous situation I think he’s an alcoholic and it’s moving very fast). This is the source. She's afraid. Most likely of her lack of success in finding a partner. The fear of ending up alone for xyz reasons is why most men or women take up the redpill paradigm. You can't debate them out of it, because they aren't believing it because of…
/r/ExRedPill08/06/24 09:08 PM
1

They see her a mile away and dodge that bullet like its the Matrix.
/r/ExRedPill07/06/24 04:34 AM
2

There are plenty of great women. There are plenty of great men. When someone says asks "Where are all the good men/women? Either one (or all) of three things are happening: The person has developed a bad filter for choosing partners. They have probably developed a filter that unintentionally weeds out the good options from their life. A classic case for women is when they only choose men who ignore boundaries because they think it means the guy really wants them. In reality, they are just weedin…
/r/ExRedPill07/06/24 04:33 AM
12

You're not wrong but the paradigm your post is coming from is overly negative. There was an interesting study that I need to find but you know what researchers found about common redpill traits? An unrealistically negative world view Obsessive tendencies, especially over standalone stats/facts that leave out or disregard context Poor socialization You've correctly identified one of the three traits, poor socialization definitely holds a lot of people back from romantic connections. But its actua…
/r/ExRedPill03/06/24 05:45 AM
9

Don't worry about being a late bloomer and a virgin. So was I. I didn't have sex till 23 and a girlfriend till 24. Hell I didn't even have the excuse of being on the spectrum, just an idiot with low emotional intelligence. Everyone is born to different circumstances with varying strengths and weaknesses and develops at different rates. The most important factors for meeting people to potentially date is opportunity and familiarity. You need to be involved in activities and hobbies you like. They…
/r/ExRedPill20/05/24 11:31 AM
18

It's a relatively new field of study within another field (psychology) that's still relatively young. It has a lot of promise, but this means there's still a lot of speculative ideas that haven't had much vetting through empirical data or cross-verification through related fields (neurology for example). As such, quoting or referencing ideas from evolutionary psychology is more often than not premature and presumptuous to be honest. And to be frank, I've noticed the people who reference it the m…
/r/ExRedPill19/05/24 03:35 PM
1

Your response reveals an extremely unrealistic negative world view that is bordering on pathological. It's coloring your lens on reality and rendering you incapable of seeing the world, and thus women accurately. Women are just human beings, like you. Like you, they want autonomy. Like you, they are capable of great good and great evil. Like you, they are willing to do whatever they think will get them happiness. Until you accept that women are like you and let go of your pathological pessimism …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 05:41 PM
1

You are partially right. But you lack self awareness about how men behave too. For everything you've stated, there's an analogous behavior set for men. Men care about what utility women provide them as a trophy wife for their status. How entertaining women are, how beautiful they are, how fertile they are, etc. Everything that is attractive is about signals of how potentially useful women are (confidence, sexiness, etc). Some Men even think it is fun to try to use their dick to turn a wild cat i…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 04:48 PM
1

American Society in general has been subsumed by capitalism.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 04:36 PM
5

He's afraid of something and thinks redpill ideology can help him solve it. And unfortunately fear doesn't care how old you are. He's going to have to face his insecurities and find other sources that will actually help him resolve them. The redpill makes assertions and solutions that sound logical AND feel good to the ego but any critical analysis reveals their flaws and that they don't work in the long term. Self introspection and the truth does not feel as good. But when you're full of fear t…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/24 05:50 PM
4

"Misogyny is something women will overlook if you're hot enough." You're basically touching on the fact that women are human too, and they aren't any more morally consistent than men. There is a subtle discourse in society that portrays women as morally superior because they aren't as physically violent and not as overt in their sex drive. Obviously this isn't the case, women share the same capacity for evil and love casual sex too, they just tend execute these things differently but that discou…
/r/ExRedPill17/04/24 03:24 PM
2

They know themselves better than anyone and even doing rotten things sometimes think they're great. Compare that to the no confidence dudes who seem to do nothing smelly, but act like they are horrid. Makes you think they're hiding something. Also makes you think you should trust them that they're horrid. Everyone has a poopy butthole asshole side. Assholes are just honest and upfront about theirs which makes it easy to decide if you can handle it or not. Low confidence kind people tend to be ly…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/24 09:38 PM
6

Lets start with your premise: Why is confidence so much more important than other good traits like humor, kindness,etc. when it comes to dating? It's not, according to most polls of men AND women the most important are: Kindness (includes core values) Intelligence (includes self awareness, emotional/empathy and general) Sense of Humor Confidence Physical Attractiveness Duty and Loyalty Across most cultures and places these are the top traits most men and women look for in their partners. Where e…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/24 08:40 PM
1

Evopsych is legit, but its a relatively new field of study so it has to go through a lot more rigorous vetting before we can start definitively using it as a tool for analyzing human behavior. Not to mention, the greater population barely understands evolution or psychology, let alone the relationship between both. So the problem is that the redpill and other disingenuous groups 's like to abuse people's ignorance and its novelty for their grift. The discipline is fine, cherry picking unvetted h…
/r/ExRedPill06/04/24 02:08 PM
8

What do you mean?
/r/ExRedPill27/03/24 05:14 PM
2

Assuming you're a guy, you went to the redpill because you were afraid of some thing or things about yourself and romance. Maybe you think you're too short so no woman will ever be physically attracted to you. Or, maybe you think your personality is not enough for women. Etc, etc... You need to unpack what your fears about dating and women are and confront them. Until you deal with your fear, no books, video or anything else in the world will help. After you figure out what you're afraid of when…
/r/ExRedPill25/03/24 11:07 PM
2

None of it makes sense rationally, but it speaks very clearly on an emotional level. It's speaking to fear. The redpill and all of the other ideologies associated with it work because the members are deeply afraid about some aspect of romance/dating. The propaganda works because it preys on that fear.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/24 11:41 AM
5

What you're doing is called projecting. It's when our feelings directed towards ourselves are displaced towards/onto other people. You're afraid you're not good enough for these women, so it feels like you're being judged because you're really judging yourself, but then projecting that judgement of not being good enough as the thoughts of these women. You haven't dealt with this fear because you're afraid that the reason, (your height) matters so much that women will never be attracted to your o…
/r/ExRedPill18/03/24 08:48 PM
20

Ideologies like these come from an unhealthy level of fear. Having fears is valid, fear is a useful tool to avoid bad things. However the problem is that operating and making decisions from an unrealistic level of fear becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Assuming that a person will leave for a first better option is an insane and paranoid gaslighting. You were too afraid that you weren't good enough for her and so assumed that she would leave once she stumbled upon someone better. So you turned …
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 06:07 PM
1

oof, you have some misandry to work through
/r/ExRedPill16/03/24 05:44 PM
9

Humanity is not rational and never was. Its why certain fields that try to meld quantifiable metrics to human behavior (like economics) struggle when applied to the real world instead of theory. In this case, this pattern you've noticed comes from extraversion bias. That is modern western society is culturally biased toward extroverts and extraverted traits This is especially prevalent in sexual dynamics. The good news is that: There are women who like introverts, the problem is they're difficul…
/r/ExRedPill15/03/24 02:45 PM
10

While objectification is definitely a thing, and you've touched on the main parts issue, I want to add some nuance. A lot of the disconnect wasn't that women were objects only for men's viewing/sexual pleasure, but that many men had an idealized unrealistic view of women and their morality. There is pervasive implicit message that because women tend to be less overt in their misdeeds, that they are innately more moral. That as long as a man only approached "good girls", they could get a girlfrie…
/r/ExRedPill14/03/24 09:10 PM
0

I'm opposed to redpill ideology, but intellectual integrity demands that I make the point, that: The concept of "biological clock" is not one that only the redpill made up. Its origins are mainstream. The redpill commonly uses real observations in fallacious arguments. An observation can be accurate, while its use in logic can be flawed. I don’t understand the whole talk about the biological clock within women, when men also have a biological clock of fertility and health? While men make lower m…
/r/ExRedPill10/03/24 06:01 PM
10

Are these groups of people representative of the overall population? Do you know about selection bias?
/r/ExRedPill09/03/24 01:02 AM
7

On what basis do you believe that?
/r/ExRedPill09/03/24 12:19 AM
40

The majority of women do not believe that. However, some do. Those videos are staged/manipulated to only show the ones that do for rage bait. Most videos on the internet are rage-bait, because influencers and companies have realized that instilling fear and anger in viewers is the most potent way to drive engagement for advertisement. The influencers behind the videos are likely part of the manosphere and they post only the worst answers in those videos to make it seem like most women believe th…
/r/ExRedPill05/03/24 12:01 AM
4

There isn't really any one metric. But how I'd decided is based on what I know of them and whether I have the time or energy to get into it. I only have a few close friends, so with them I would be willing to civilly confront them about values I don't agree with. Fortunately none of them hold misogynistic values that I know of. If they did. we'd be having a conversation about it as soon as I found out. For everyone else, I clearly make sure they know I don't agree and most of them stop hanging o…
/r/ExRedPill04/03/24 09:54 PM
7

My point is that those terms aren't redpill, though they maybe used by redpilled men. By itself "remember we are the prize kings," isn't a redpilled statement. Obviously you can find the the terms cringe if you wish, but its no different than what women say to each other. So unless there's more contextual info and this guy says or does other things that are redpill in origin that's not really a valid reason to scarlet letter someone for using them. Now to be honest, I disagree with whole "prize"…
/r/ExRedPill23/02/24 03:43 AM
15

I may be wrong, but the "Kings" thing doesn't have its origins from the redpill, but from AAVE (African American Vernacular English). Both "Kings" & "Queens" are semi-recently developed terms used frequently by many online black Americans. I don't know if you or your friend are black, but it's common if not expected for terms from AAVE to be co-opted by other groups as African American culture usually is. As for "men are the prize" not sure where that is from but since women are the majority vie…
/r/ExRedPill23/02/24 01:20 AM
1

It's one of the reasons I managed to get out of the redpill before it got it's hooks into me. There's nothing actually wrong with wanting validation from the people you're attracted to but for all their blustering about being a strong alpha who's above women, a significant chunk of their concept of manhood pretty much revolves around their validation. Traditional hypermasculinity is ironically very dependent on female validation.
/r/ExRedPill22/02/24 06:46 PM
7

You get it. It's not a fear of marriage, but a fear of the lack of control. Essentially these paradigms are starting from these base assumptions: A real man should power and control over everything (or almost everything) in his life. Women are inferior (usually because they do not have/use the same forms of power tradition masculinity recognizes as power) So when they crash into the reality that: Everyone only has power over themselves, and in a healthy relationship both people risk vulnerabilit…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 11:13 PM
19

Disagree As much as society likes to characterize men as dogs who would chafe at marriage, the majority of men (even "alpha" men) love the idea of being with a special person who truly loves you long term, if not marriage. Because most human beings want someone to love. There are a number of emotions and beliefs driving alpha/redpill fears: An incredibly negative and capitalistic worldview - If you ever talk to a redpilled or similar man, you quickly see that the way they see the world is incred…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/24 09:16 PM
13

As a guy, having a close female friend in college was one of the catalysts that transformed me from a potential incel to a well rounded guy who understands where women are coming from, not just in dating but life in general. Interacting with her and seeing her succeed and fail in dating and life in general made me realize she was just as clueless as I was in certain things, but also that she had a wealth of insight in areas I didn't. I also saw that I had insight in certain things that she did n…
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 10:18 PM
5

Misogynistic? Probably not. But depending on the reasoning, it's highly likely to be hypocritical. A woman can demand literally anything and she'll just be a woman who knows what she wants, however a man is misogynistic if he has preferences that exclude women. Anyone can demand anything, it's up to you to decide if they're being reasonable.
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 03:44 PM
24

Ideologies can have overlap Besides, I'd argue men have more options then they realize, and in the aggregate have the same number options. The issue is that because emotional intelligence and empathy is so neglected in young boy's development and uncentivized in traditional masculinity, they become weak at recognizing when women are attracted to them, and the few times they do recognize it, they torpedo the woman's attraction by saying something monumentally problematic due to that same lack of …
/r/ExRedPill19/02/24 03:51 AM
3

No you didn't, I did: Sex drive and loyalty aren't dependent on each other. Integrity and loyalty are. Now if you want to make the argument that liking sex and having a lot of sex makes a person >lack integrity, then I'd disagree. But I suspect the reason some people ask is because they're projecting their own lack of integrity on to the other person. In fact most of my post was about how body count doesn't really work for morality. And then you responded to my post, but didn't actually give any…
/r/ExRedPill15/02/24 11:58 PM
1

I want to explore with a partner in the bed room, and if the partner has had numerous prior experiences, then that experience may not mean as much. Explain, depending on the clarification this could make sense. I also wouldn’t want to think about the possibility of that partner comparing our experience with all of their prior experiences. Unfortunately, this is a you problem. Your partners have always been evaluating you on everything else, you're being compared to other partners, in and out of …
/r/ExRedPill15/02/24 11:41 PM
5

I've never asked a woman her body count, and none of the women I've dated (long term, casually, or hookups) have asked me mine. Because it doesn't matter. So let's unpack this. What fear do you hope to resolve by knowing a woman's body count? Presumably you think if a person has a high sex drive, that means they'll be more likely to cheat. So by knowing the number, you think it will help you determine the person's likely hood of cheating. But I don't think that's true. Sex drive and loyalty aren…
/r/ExRedPill15/02/24 09:54 PM
15

Like go do things outside the internet: hobbies, events, sports, dancing hangout go out anything that forces you to interact with other real human beings on a regular basis, in the real world. He said young as in lacking in real world experience. You're 18 and you're talking about dating for marriage when you barely have any experience dating any woman. Just from your post I can tell you have a lot of misconceptions about how life and people work. You're getting ahead of yourself basically. Theo…
/r/ExRedPill14/02/24 10:20 AM
4

The reason I say you shouldn't worry about game is because it's pickup jargon from people who are full of themselves. All "game" really is is paying close attention to non-verbal communication, listening intently to what the person likes and dislikes and using your knowledge and experience from the things you like to engage with the other person. For example, I'm a huge biology & kinesioloogy nerd, the last girl I talked to loved to run, but she was going through some tendinopathy issues with he…
/r/ExRedPill14/02/24 05:47 AM
4

What if i was just myself? Do be the best version of yourself. By that, I mean keep the best parts of your personality and continuously work on fixing or at least taking on habits that mitigate the worst of your personality. Don't worry about fixing them quickly, just be continously trying to get ahead of them. Continuously work on your physical body, that is make exercise (that you like) a life long hobby. A lot of society likes to downplay the importance of appearance but that's well intention…
/r/ExRedPill14/02/24 02:12 AM
3

I wouldn't listen to that guy. As someone who has gone from conventionally unattractive (fat and low emotional intelligence) to conventionally attractive (the opposite), worrying about game shouldn't be at the top of your list.
/r/ExRedPill14/02/24 02:01 AM
12

This comment was unhelpful
/r/ExRedPill14/02/24 01:57 AM
15

Both genders (and everyone in between) can should be close friends with the other. They both suffer for it when they don't because they don't empathize with where the other is coming from in interpersonal dynamics.
/r/ExRedPill10/02/24 06:01 AM
6

It's supposed to be, I'm not trying to validate your position. It's also supposed to be irritating because it's not what you want to hear. You want to hear women suck for doing that and we should do something about it to control them. I'm telling you, yeah it sucks that people have preferences, but languishing over hypothetical people who won't like you for "xyz" reason is a frankly waste of your time. Man or women. You don't think there are tall women who hate that there are men who want women …
/r/ExRedPill08/02/24 02:54 AM
14

It's hard for you to see it and believe it because you don't want to. Sounds obvious, but really it's because you want to have a reason to not be vulnerable to rejection, so you hang on to things like penis size so you don't have to risk being with someone who might not like you for any reason. Do some women care about penis size? Yes. Do some women not care? Also yes. You could just decide that if a woman didn't like you for whatever reason, move on to one that does. But instead of focusing on …
/r/ExRedPill07/02/24 03:07 PM
3

Not inherently, but our society values competition above all else, and idealizes obvious short term displays of power. So that influences its members. What most of society doesn't acknowledge is that competition isn't the only path to success and cooperation is actually the better long term strategy. In fact, societal cooperation is how humanity dominated the planet.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/24 11:19 PM
5

Our mind has a negativity bias. We tend to pay more attention to bad things and overlook good things. We will: Remember traumatic experiences better than positive ones. Recall insults better than praise. React more strongly to negative stimuli. Think about negative things more frequently than positive ones. Respond more strongly to negative events than to equally positive ones. This is likely a result of evolution. Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threat…
/r/ExRedPill30/01/24 04:48 PM
19

A lot of good advice here about looks, personality and hobbies that help increase attractiveness. However this needs to be said, as much as appearance, personalities and hobbies are important and even necessary for attractiveness, the most critical factors for actually getting partners are: Demographics - not everyone will like you even if you did the work to be the best version of you. For even the juiciest peach, there are people who just don't like peaches. Once you have developed your looks,…
/r/ExRedPill29/01/24 04:49 PM
3

Depending on what happens afterwards, aren't really intrusive thoughts as they are valid concerns. Not believing in redpill ideology doesn't mean you think women are all sunshine and rainbows. That's just the opposite extreme, and it's just as stupid. They are human too, and can be just as abusive and exploitative as any man. The keyword is can. I think the difference between categorizing these as valid concerns vs irrational fears is how you deal with them and are you still holding on to them w…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/24 06:05 PM
3

Logic isn't what draws people to redpill, fear is. You just use logic to rationalize your position after the fact. Until you realize and resolve the fear that's pushing you towards redpill ideology, none of the reasoning here will help. Once you address your insecurity then you can start using logic to help you out of it.
/r/ExRedPill19/01/24 03:59 PM
5

I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I feel so broken and humiliated. Start by giving yourself more credit than that. You're a human being, not inanimate china doll. You have definitely been hurt and manipulated. And you feelings of pain are fitting after what you've went through. But know this, unless your mind no longer functions you are never broken. The mind has incredible capacity to heal, even from the worst of treatment. Definitely feel your pain, as you have every right to. Howev…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/24 02:37 PM
3

Ideally people shouldn't be labeled for anything. In an ideal world we'd have the time and energy to grasp the full scale of each person's preferences. But this world is not ideal and we only have so much time and energy to build our own lives AND discover what makes other people tick. So we create labels and boxes to speed up the process and make communicating those processes easier. When I'm discovering someone specific, I'll take the time to learn about them. But when I'm communicating inform…
/r/ExRedPill18/01/24 04:41 PM
25

Sexually insecure men like the idea of virginity. It sooths their fears that the woman may have more sexual experience and could be comparing them to their other partners. Sexually secure men who aren't afraid of their women being more experienced do not care about virginity. Take that as you will
/r/ExRedPill18/01/24 02:59 AM
2

That advice that looks, or really all of the "shallow" stuff like socioeconomic class, status, etc, matter more to people, that is women, than they'll admit. Admittedly, the redpill isn't the only good source for realistic advice. But when I was a teen they were the first I happened to stumble upon that weren't telling me "iTs tHe InSiDe tHaT cOuNtS.
/r/ExRedPill17/01/24 06:44 PM
6

In order to be successful at dating (man or woman) these things are critical: Opportunity: A lifestyle that presents you with frequent interactions with the people you're attracted to. Personality: A certain minimum amount of emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Looks: A certain minimum level of physical attractiveness. Most men who at least considered redpill ideology had a deficit in one or more of these three things and it made dating extremely hard. I know that for me, when I was a tee…
/r/ExRedPill17/01/24 01:41 PM
6

It's fine to want options, no one wants to feel like they are settling, just don't make the mistake of thinking women have it easier or that a relationship is automatically a waste of time. Those are two fallacies common to redpill ideology that leave men extremely unhappy for no good reason. Women get different advantages, but they also face different disadvantages. Obsessing about how they may or may not be living is a quick way to lose perspective on the fact that no one has everything and th…
/r/ExRedPill16/01/24 07:04 AM
11

You're constantly trying to be ready, because you're seeking assurances and certainty. You think if you reach this mythical state of readiness, that the version of you that you're working on will be so charismatic and valued that it will mitigate the fact you have little control of events and other people. And you think this because you're afraid of being vulnerable with someone who could leave you for any reason, reasons that could be out of your control Unfortunately for you there is no versio…
/r/ExRedPill16/01/24 06:24 AM
20

For most people physical attraction is a critical part of general attraction, anyone who tells you different is either Lying to you or themselves because they don't want to deal with the ramifications. Or They are neurodivergent (asexual for example) in some way so their brain doesn't follow the usual mapping. Where it gets shallow, is when you're hypocritical or you determine how much respect and dignity a person deserves by their physical traits rather than their actual character. For example,…
/r/ExRedPill14/01/24 06:29 PM
9

Looking at your comments here it's clear you have an extremely negative view of yourself and other people and so it's made you afraid of being vulnerable to them. But instead of acknowledging that and dealing with your fear, you've adopted worldviews that will validate it. You don't want to be happy, you want everyone else to be miserable with you.
/r/ExRedPill14/01/24 03:55 AM
14

A dog can't talk back
/r/ExRedPill12/01/24 02:39 PM
0

good bot
/r/ExRedPill05/01/24 01:35 PM
9

It’s a complicated question that has a nuanced answer. But if you were to boil it down, the answer is fear. These men are afraid of something in themselves or the world and instead of accepting and facing that fear, they hide it behind hyper masculinity and blame women for the source of the fear instead. I was lucky enough to jump out of the redpill before I got in too deep, but if you are a man and want to get out, the number one thing you need to ask yourself is: “What am I afraid of?” The red…
/r/ExRedPill04/01/24 03:05 PM
3

My guess is that you have some irrational idealized worldview about morality and character. Do you think that good people don't upset others? And you want to view yourself as a good person, so you let people treat you like shit if it means you never upset them? That's the only explanation I can think of for why you'd let people hurt you. So I think that you think you'd be a bad person if you upset your family. Just because someone is upset with you doesn't necessarily mean you're a bad person. S…
/r/ExRedPill27/12/23 07:14 PM
6

Ok, let them be mad. How old are you? You sound like you're 10 years old. Either that or you're a people pleaser/conflict avoidant. In that case you're just gonna have to swallow the abuse. If you don't like people (family or not) you either: Confront them and upset them Leave them and upset them Accept their treatment and upset yourself. I've laid out your options, it looks like you've decided on the latter. The only other option I can think of is you insult them back but it doesn't sound like …
/r/ExRedPill27/12/23 05:51 AM
5

You don't have make some grandiose reaction, just tell em you're fine but you're won't be attending because you're busy. Hell make something up like you've decided to take a vacation. It can even be true because its a staycation. Don't overthink this
/r/ExRedPill27/12/23 05:33 AM
5

Let em be upset, its not like you like them anyways. Whats the point in trying to appease people you don't like?
/r/ExRedPill27/12/23 05:26 AM
16

It's ok to not hang around family you don't like
/r/ExRedPill27/12/23 05:01 AM
4

Uh, well you probably should break up with her so you don't waste her time And you shouldn't date anyone to be frank
/r/ExRedPill23/12/23 03:23 AM
3

I lose her on my own terms than suffer the trauma. What are your terms exactly?
/r/ExRedPill22/12/23 10:51 PM
9

The redpill is not so much a movement like MGTOW as it is the ideology that all of these manosphere movements share. Originally, the redpill is supposed to be about realizing that some of the established conventions about men and women are bunk, and that a man would really fulfill his sexual desires when he realized this, (hence the Matrix reference). For a long time and even now, some sections of society and media (romantic movies, idealistic moms, etc) imply that women were inherently less sha…
/r/ExRedPill19/12/23 01:38 PM
30

The misogyny isn't sprinkled in, it's part of the frame work of Andrew Tate's philosophy and redpill philosophy in general. There may have been a time when the redpill was just about getting laid. But that time has been gone for decades. The rise in Andrew Tate is a combination of nihilistic consumer society, misogyny and even more.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/23 10:27 PM
17

This is the answer. The traditional form of masculinity is ironically very dependent on female emotional support. Men need to be each others support system instead of dumping it on women to do.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/23 08:02 PM
12

There's nothing new under the sun. At the core, the phenomenon we're seeing now is just classic psychological manipulation tactics being used in the gender roles. Steps to control and manipulate people: Stoke a fear/insecurity, if one doesn't exist create it. Promise that you have a solution to that insecurity that no one else has, or if you don't have a solution, blame something or someone/s. Provide "solutions" to that insecurity. However, the solutions actually just push the victims deeper in…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:16 PM
8

You can and should do both. I'd add, if you're a man, online dating should only supplement your dating life not act as the main source. These platforms are made to make the company money, not get you a partner. That's incidental. Contrary to popular perception the critical path to romance isn't looks or charm. I'm not saying they don't make dating a hell of a lot easier, they absolutely do. Looks open doors that might not be possible otherwise. But looks aren't the actual critical thing. It's op…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/23 02:04 PM
8

This is a simple answer, if you use your brain cells and think past your insecure feelings for a second. Humanity is neither innately good nor bad. Most people (men and women) have a more or less equal mix of "good" and "bad" traits, with a few outliers at either end of the morality spectrum. When you have ~9 billion people (and counting) you're going to see millions of likes for anything. Good or bad. There are millions of women that have disdain for short men. There are millions of women that …
/r/ExRedPill08/12/23 11:18 PM
9

Still applies
/r/ExRedPill04/12/23 11:58 PM
17

You're addicted to it because it appeals to an insecurity (or several) you have. You're deeply afraid of some aspect of yourself and/or your relationships with women, so you drink the redpill koolaid because it makes you feel good (or at least feel like you're in control) about whatever you're afraid of. This is the nature of all vices. We use them to escape our problems instead of facing them. So until you face your insecurities and bring them out into the open to be dealt with you'll keep goin…
/r/ExRedPill04/12/23 11:46 PM
1

You're not doomed lol, just focus on one thing at a time: Depression can have follow-on effects that cause ED, so while you're tackling that just get a prescription for tadalafil (the generic for Cialis). That way you're fighting only one battle rather than two at the same time.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 07:56 PM
2

I don't disagree. I'm sure the redpill has gotten even more extreme since the time I entered puberty as a young man decades ago. What I'm trying to get at is that there is a pipeline from ***seemingly*** benign "dating advice" to extreme malicious ideology. That it has gotten worse is unsurprising. These ideologies are inherently self destructive to its members.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 02:19 PM
7

The Redpill initially started out as a movement to debunk a lot of the inaccurate and overly idealistic ideas about how women behave when it comes to sex and romance. For a long time and even now, some sections of society and media (romantic movies, idealistic moms, etc) implied that women were inherently less shallow than men and thus chose their sexual partners based on deeper connections. That as long as they were just themselves some women would like them. Obviously that’s only half true but…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/23 07:31 AM
12

There's no such thing as unconditional love. It's a overly romantic concept that falls flat on its face with two seconds of critical thought. Only dependent children get close, and even then, it's only because they are maturing and don't fully understand the world they've been brought into, so grace is provided to them. Whatever unconditional love that occurs is quite rightly gone after gaining independence. Above all else, healthy relationships (romantic or platonic) require: Trust Respect Inve…
/r/ExRedPill27/11/23 03:19 PM
5

Well your first mistake is dating apps. Men specifically are at a heavy disadvantage in online dating You’re better off finding a unisex activity you enjoy, being a regular and building good rapport with everyone in the activity. You will meet someone from those friendships. If you’re a man, dating apps are a terrible way to meet a partner
/r/ExRedPill21/11/23 09:30 AM
8

This is essentially the thought process will all forms of bigotry: Racism - They need the myths of the other race isn't intelligent or isn't as beautiful, because the only social capital they have is the idea that all people of their "race" are superior to the others.
/r/ExRedPill12/11/23 06:00 PM
33

Personality then social system
/r/ExRedPill30/10/23 12:05 AM
15

Why are you competing for affection?
/r/ExRedPill29/10/23 03:27 PM
2

Usually women that have unrealistic or even stupid ideas about what masculinity is and its role in relationships. Which makes sense because the redpill fills men with unrealistic or even stupid ideas about what femininity is and its role in relationships. Like attracts like
/r/ExRedPill28/10/23 01:33 AM
5

Women aren't just one group with the same interests and values. There are women who live and believe in healthy relationships, and there are women who don't. The redpill can work on some women. But most guys don't want to deal with the type of women it succeeds with in the long term.
/r/ExRedPill27/10/23 06:45 PM
39

It's fundamentally hypocritical
/r/ExRedPill21/10/23 04:39 AM
2

Sure. But you've been learning by trial and error for your entire childhood/early adulthood. It's just that your parental units and school provided a mostly safe environment for those trials to not hurt so bad. The idea was that your parents, friends and hopefully varied experiences growing up gave you enough knowledge and wisdom for you to make your own trials and errors without making catastrophic mistakes as an adult. At least that's what's supposed to happen. Some people are unlucky enough t…
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 07:32 PM
5

Welcome to life with other people. You're trying to know someone in their entirety before being vulnerable so that you can get certainty about how they'll act. This is not possible. When it comes to life and relationships, certainty doesn't really exist. The only thing that's for certain is that life and people change. Healthy relationships aren't easy to form for this and other reasons. It takes a mutual exchange of both people being willing to be varying amounts of physically and emotionally v…
/r/ExRedPill20/10/23 07:20 PM
11

You can't know for sure until it happens. You just have to trust your judgement of the person until they prove otherwise. This is the vulnerability part of relationships. This is also why it's important to build and develop yourself before entering relationships so that a potential disappointment doesn't end your world. It's also why you should let yourself be vulnerable and emotive early into the relationship so that you know what type of woman you're dealing with early. You don't want to find …
/r/ExRedPill19/10/23 09:07 PM
1

I think the core of the issue is that you may have unintentionally self destructive patterns when it comes to forming relationships with women in your life. Most people do, I know I did. Forming relationships is an umbrella skill that has lots of component skills under it, some more important than others. It's possible that you just got unlucky, but a lot of times people who seem to find bad relationships are poor on some critical component of relationship building. Most people know about the sk…
/r/ExRedPill18/10/23 10:46 PM
12

It won't, at least not in the way you're thinking. It's possible that it eventually reaches that number due to the human population growing in size, but the proportion of normal to redpilled men will stay relatively constant. And that's because most men realize that the goal of the redpill isn't actually to make men happy and fulfilled. The goal of redpill is to control women. Boys and men don't start out hating women. But through the hyper-masculinity and misogyny baked into the idea of manhood…
/r/ExRedPill16/10/23 04:37 AM
2

its simple, but brutally effective
/r/ExRedPill09/10/23 05:21 AM
14

It may not make you feel any better, but you're not alone in this. In fact, men feel the analogous insecurities. The only proven long term way to remove these thoughts is to remove the source. Even if it means family and friends. People only heal from damaging messaging if they aren't continuously exposed to it.
/r/ExRedPill09/10/23 05:13 AM
4

100% agree
/r/ExRedPill07/10/23 02:11 PM
21

The recipe for controlling or manipulating people is: Identify their insecurity Feed that insecurity until it transforms into fear Present yourself or your ideology as a solution to that fear Sit back and let them throw their time, money and energy into you Profit. The difference between this and providing legitimate help is that the person who is actually trying to help you only does steps 1 & 3. They don't try to make you afraid, nor are they trying to profit off you.
/r/ExRedPill06/10/23 08:10 PM
3

The thing is, not every woman is in full alignment with feminist progressive ideals. Especially in romance. Agency goes both ways. The more agency you have the more you can do, but the more you have to answer for. Most women recognize and accept the accountability comes with agency, but some women want none of that accountability. Or they pick the parts they like and leave out some. I'm in full alignment with feminist ideals. Because when you really take look at them, they add more accountabilit…
/r/ExRedPill05/10/23 04:23 AM
8

We already have evidence that people think and act differently. With different personalities, ranges of desire and ways of expressing them. We have no evidence that people all think and act the same way. So if you're going to assert that people think and act the same way when it comes to sex and love, it's on you and the author to present that. Neither of you have.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 05:15 PM
7

The only point I'd agree with is that sexual attraction and love/intimacy are separate concepts. But although distinct, they can feed off one another. The act of sex is a physical manifestation of the combination of emotions one feels for another person and there are variations of sexual connection based on the mixture of emotions and urges involved. For example, sometimes a sexual connection is: Pure lust, no intimacy involved aka just fucking. Lust and intimacy with no commitment, romantic sex…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/23 04:57 PM
11

You are correct. It’s a shame because people get insecure and latch on to anything they can to make that feeling go away. Or they just like the power that the status of superiority provides, i.e: see all of the bigotry in real life And the problem is all of the people who validate their life based on their hierarchal paradigm also validate the power bigots and bullies make up to exploit others with, even unintentionally
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 12:05 PM
4

>How do I stop comparing myself to other people? Comparison isn't necessarily always bad if its spurring you to try to learn from those you're are making the comparison. That's the healthy version of the trait. The toxic version is when you're trying to compete with them. Like you're doing now. There will always be bigger, faster stronger, prettier, smarter, younger people, it's an exercise in futility to compete every time you meet someone "better" than you. Because there are a lot. From what I…
/r/ExRedPill29/09/23 04:28 AM
1

For the most part I agree with spirit of what you're trying to say, but I want to push back on some things. Labeling people by generics is immature, but dismissing it outright, also unintentionally dismisses the impact of the underlying concepts behind the labels. And that is just as immature in my opinion. It is also unhelpful and counterproductive to getting people from getting drawn into the incel/alt right pipeline. People on these dating subreddits need to seriously grow up. Especially the …
/r/ExRedPill21/09/23 10:09 PM
5

All of these thoughts come from fear. Fear from low self worth; that you may not be enough for someone to find attractive. But until you address that fear with tangible action, those thoughts will still come no matter how misleading you know they are you. You'll need to do things and go through experiences that increase confidence in yourself. That's why it's so important to do and try new things and activities with and without other people. It's the experiences from failing and realizing even t…
/r/ExRedPill15/09/23 11:55 PM
7

Dating apps can be useful but as a guy you need to be aware that They are made to make money first, get matches after. There are way more men than women on them. Pictures are the most important variable, not bio. But bio isn't irrelevant, give content that women can engage and ask questions about. You should be picky, if she has no bio or very little content it is likely she has nothing to say and will say very little back. Match success is very region dependent. Apps bring out the worst in both…
/r/ExRedPill13/09/23 08:34 PM
4

redpill is to neo-masculinity as nazi is to neo-nazi as exploitative corporation/rich individual is to neo-liberal as conservative is to right wing libertarian as far-right is to alt-right These groups all know that people are coming on to the fact that their ideology and/or behavior is either morally bankrupt or hypocritical, so they co-opt and assimilate the names of better sounding terminology to try and escape the negative associations that they've built for themselves.
/r/ExRedPill12/09/23 08:02 PM
6

Yeah sorry if I came off confrontational! I we're fully aligned. I just remember that the unrealistic societal portrayal of women as intrinsically more moral was one of the things that had drawn me and others to the redpill pipeline, since they seemed to be few sources that actually called this out in dating dynamics. Though more main stream sources are finally starting to acknowledge it.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/23 03:08 PM
6

I agree for the most part. I'd correct this part: women aren't shallow to this: Women are no more shallow than men In addition to the physical pedestal, we need to stop putting women on a moral pedestal. They are human beings and as such, every bit as fallable as men. It's part of the many reasons incel ideology gets traction. Society assigns women an unrealistic automatic moral high ground and when that inevitably falls flat on its face, many men's expectations are shattered leading to anger. C…
/r/ExRedPill06/09/23 01:03 PM
1

She's been more chatty/flirty. She and I are both single and have been for a while. I thought that she was interested in me and I decided to take a shot in the dark. What I got from this is that he mistook her friendliness for flirting. It's a mistake a lot of men make. She was never interested and he got it wrong from the beginning. I pulled her aside after a study session last week and once everyone else had left I brought up how we're both single and asked if she wanted to be friends with ben…
/r/TheRedPill25/03/23 03:00 AM
1

suit yourself
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 06:33 PM
1

You are making excuses
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 05:31 PM
1

Ok, so what? What is up you all in the redpill obsessing about things that may or may not be happening that you will never have any control over? If someone was going to cheat, they're going to cheat whether it was in real life or online. It is unproductive and worthless to worry about it. You can't control what other people may or may not do. But that's what you really want isn't? You are all so insecure about women's dating and sexuality you want to control and subjugate them to alleviate that…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 04:42 PM
1

These were examples, my god
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 07:51 PM
0

You do know that there are places other than bars and nightclubs to meet women? You can join coed sports, run clubs, art galleries, climbing gyms, there's literally a whole world out there Y'all are absolutely determined to be unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 02:42 PM
1

There's a time and season for everything. Aspects of your life will have increased or decreased importance during different phases. It does not have to be a binary thing where sexuality (or any other aspect of life) is important at all times in your life or not at all. In childhood and seniority, sexuality can be low priority. In young and middle adulthood it has a high priority. This is perfectly acceptable and even necessary for healthy romantic relationships So no, in our twilight years, I wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 02:27 PM
2

In my 20's I did do OLD, to varying success in addition to real life dating. As I got into more social networks, my emotional intelligence improved and I got better at reading people. Consequently, the way I approached people improved and I noticed that I was getting more consistent results in real life. So I abandoned online dating. I'm not against OLD as a supplement or a place to start, I just think real life dating gives better results (once you get to a decent level at reading and approachi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 07:59 PM
3

I exclusively date in real life now and have no issues attracting women in real life. I'm male, tall and muscular and lean with a fairly decent face There are plenty of women who are interested in that. But I'm also black and the issue is that many women have a fairly caricaturized perspective on black men. Think all of the stereotypical black fetishes in porn. Bumping up against that constantly is ... dehumanizing. Young hornier me didn't care. But now, I do care and when I run into it, it kill…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 06:45 PM
2

Man, I don't like to insult people but I don't know how else to put this: You seem really determined to be unhappy. It's not blind optimism. It's understanding that probability works both ways. Bad things can and will happen to you. Good things can and will happen to you. Both will happen. You can obsess over the bad times or understand that it was inevitable, roll with it and capitalize on the good times when they happen. And while you don't have full control of life and other people, you do ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 03:53 PM
3

There are places other than bars and clubs. I met a girl at a climbing gym. Do not over think this. Sign yourself up for social activities you think you might enjoy. Focus on improving yourself in those activities and enjoying them. Then if you see or meet someone in said activity who is also enjoying themselves. Say hi in some way. I literally told this girl: "You're really good, how long have you been climbing?" It was really as simple as that. Has that worked all the time? Nope, but you can't…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 03:44 PM
0

I don't know, that's for you to figure out by exploring life and engaging in things. Happiness doesn't happen to you, you make it happen by signing yourself up for different things outside your comfort zone and seeing how it changes you. Start with small little activities that you think you might like. You'll fall flat on your face, keep going anyway. Surviving the small failures and realizing they aren't a big deal is what give you the confidence to keep going to bigger and more uncomfortable t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 03:37 PM
3

The straight forward solution is to expand your social network. I ran into this same problem as a male nerdy engineering student. my social networks were male dominated and I was not getting opportunities to meet women. I realized I needed to participate in co-ed / female oriented activities to expand my social networks so I could get more opportunities to meet women. I understand this is not an easy task, but it gives much more return on investment compared to OLD. That's the rub: OLD low start…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 03:17 PM
1

There's a lot to unpack there. And I'm not qualified to do the unpacking, nor do I care to. But I will say this There will always be people who will tell you no, or make fun of you, or think you're not attractive. So what? They will always be there. They aren't going anywhere, even if you do get better at dating, they will still be coming at you. I've gotten a lot better at dating and I still get rejected all the time. The point isn't to liked by everyone, the point is to do what you gotta do fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 03:05 PM
2

For sure dating is hard and you need to go through uncomfortable socialization so that you can be the person who is approachable. *** But the discomfort you feel is a good thing.*** That means you're expanding outside yourself. Some amount of anxiety is not unwarranted. Growing and learning is not supposed to be always comfortable. But this socialization gives a much higher bang for your buck when applied in real life than dating apps. OLD is an easier bar of entry in the short term but does not…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:27 PM
3

I wouldn't be so sure about that
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:13 PM
7

I think this is true if you primarily date online. But y'all really need to stop using apps, the deck is stacked against you there. OLD brings out the worst in male and female sexuality and dating Once you're willing to go IRL, dating gets a lot better.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 01:32 PM
26

For men, don't use online dating apps. Your dating outlook goes up dramatically in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 01:20 PM
3

😬
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 12:59 PM
17

Which is to men's detriment in the long term. It's a classic case of well intentioned actions doing unintentional harm. Besides, the advice doesn't have to be a put down, but it does need to be more accurate. Furthermore, I think mother's and women in general give that advice assuming that the boy will read between the lines like they would. But when it comes to emotional intelligence and social awareness, boys tend to be several years behind women at that age. For biological and social reasons.…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 12:49 PM
4

Again, not denying this. All I'm saying is I want both forms of attraction in my partner. I want her to have been initially physically attracted to me and love my personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 06:01 PM
0

I've always thought of it as more of the starting point of attraction rather than if the woman is settling. I definitely think women can grow to be sexually attracted to a man. And usually that's a result of aspects of his personality becoming apparent. That's great. But there are a lot of people with great personalities just as there are a lot of good looking people. For me, the idea is that I want to be the guy whom she has strong attraction to in both arenas.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 05:19 PM
2

You changed the premise. OP said the hypothetical man hasn't dated not that they didn't consider it like you're arguing. Not dating is not the same as deciding not to consider dating. There is a subtle but significant difference. My answer is based on the reasonable assumption that they did in fact consider it and tried but failed because they were historically bad at it (like me) and also we're in social networks that were male dominated.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 03:47 AM
2

If you haven't already, make genuine female friends that you're not trying to date or have sex with. I specifically stated that you would not be fucking these girls you're striking friendships with. Reading comprehension
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 03:38 AM
27

I was (still am honestly) a nerd who was also an engineering student and didn't have my first kiss till I was 20 and first GF at 24. So I can get where you're coming from. The fundamental problem is that there weren't a lot of women in social networks I was in. Step One If you haven't already, make genuine female friends that you're not trying to date or have sex with. This is the most critical thing in my opinion. You'll learn a lot about women, their motivations and the subtle differences in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 05:57 PM
1

What age group?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 11:27 PM
3

Genetics play a part but lifestyle is a better predictor of aging. Health degrades fast with neglect. What catches people off guard is just how fast it goes. The person with average genetics who took care of themselves is going to outshine the person with great genetics who never took care of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 11:26 PM
10

That's something not talked about often: having an impenetrable ego. Part of what makes masculinity difficult is the conception that men must have unshakeable egos. The problem is that a bullet proof ego contradicts having empathy. Your ego needs to be sensitive in some amount for you to be able to feel what others are going through.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 09:34 PM
5

Can you walk me through what you think will happen if you're direct about your intentions? Like say you follow the standard template most guys use to ask a girl out: You ask guy out for coffee/drinks and he says yes. How is the way he would go about pumping and dumping you from there be different than if he'd asked you first? Walk me through your thought process from there.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 09:22 PM
2

It's odd that you went to drug dealers specifically. Plenty of women having kids with normal men too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 04:00 PM
10

Not OP, but I assumed we were talking about the inflation of standards that can't be changed, or hypocritical ones, like these big two: The inflation of height standards. You got average height or shorter women (5'4'') expecting 6'+ men. Point blank, that's not gonna happen for a majority of them. 6'+ men are only about 14-15% of the total male population, it's even less if you reduce that to the average date-able population. Salary standards. High wage women still wanting men with higher wages …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 03:56 PM
7

So? That doesn't change the name of the game. The quicker you stop talking to women who are lukewarm about you the quicker you meet women who are actually into you. Just focus on: Improving yourself by being the best version of you. Shooting your shot but be willing to move on quickly if she's not enthusiastic. In that order. Obsessing about how much of the population may or may not find you attractive is unproductive and worthless.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/22 05:11 PM
14

The secret is: a woman who is attracted to you will make it easy for you. They'll laugh at your jokes whether they're funny or not to others. They'll like more things about you that others may find lame. It's literally like rose tinted glasses. The women you've been approaching just aren't that into you. The problem is that you're not yet able to recognize actual female attraction and trying to persevere with women who could take you or leave you. And it's hard because it seems society has set m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/22 04:35 PM
6

He said women that were into it, which is an ambiguous way to put it. It looks like he meant women who actually believe in the wacky stuff to the point where they actually make life decisions on it not women who pursue it as a hobby There's a huge difference between a belief and a hobby. I think the distinction is that for his wife, the woo woo magical stuff is fun entertainment. That's very ok because it means she's able to not take it seriously which is important.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/22 04:15 PM
12

I think the distinction is that for your wife, the woo woo magical stuff is fun entertainment. That's very ok because it means she's able to not take it seriously which is important. The problem is when they actually believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/22 04:11 PM
1

You're probably unintentionally filtering for these women. For example, I'll give the common opposite example you hear from women. A lot of women will complain about how there are no good men. These same women will have tests where they play hard to get and refuse men who don't "persevere" enough to show they're really into them. The problem is their idea of perseverance is the "Note Book" male character trope of literally not accepting a no/rejection. The rationale is well intention-ed, who doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 07:43 PM
7

Not really. It is the type of woman who would make a guy who's husband/bf material (the beta) wait for sex. Husband material would be an emotionally stable guy who has a decent stable job. But will have casual sexual encounters with the bad boy/rogue. (The alpha) Think of a hypermasculine guy on the cover of the cheesy romance novels whose prone to wild outbursts of emotion. Either may be attractive in the conventional sense physical sense. What really makes the beta a beta is the fact that the …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 10:36 AM
3

Actually talking with your partner is a great start.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/22 07:13 PM
3

Remedy to the less sex. More than likely less sex occurs because the domestic duties take time away from both parents taking care of themselves, not because the act of being a responsible dad directly makes you seen as less masculine. It's good and necessary to make sure your kids are taken care of, but it's also important to maintain your self and your identity as the people you were before you were parents. Many times people make their parenthood subsume their entire identity so they stop work…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/22 06:34 PM
8

They made a wild assertion without any sources. It's a valid concern, but I bet it's more of a correlation vs causation thing. It sounds like a lame excuse to not involve yourself in domestic obligations. There are simple remedies that don't involve shirking on your fair share of parenting. Namely not neglecting your body and maintaining time away from the children.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/22 05:48 PM
0

dafuq?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/22 03:28 PM
1

A good portion of pilled guys fit into this, except they want a real human to fuck and somehow blame others when they can't order up one. REKT
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 05:21 PM
4

I like and still play video games. I frequent online forums for fun. My favorite hobby has kid was to spend weekends in the library reading sci-fi and fantasy. Thank GOD my parents forced me to do a few social activities like varsity sports, Boy Scouts (with actual camping not just hanging out at a church), etc. I would have had no social skills otherwise. Online social life is no replacement for real life socialization. Anyone who thinks so is deluding themselves. There are skills that you cann…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 05:10 PM
2

Yeah, human sexuality can be pretty ugly in a lot of ways. I think that's a good take away from all of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 06:25 AM
6

You're determined to be butthurt
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/22 01:01 PM
3

I think the general mood from a lot of men is that high effort in general is neither appealing or productive. I think whats important is directing your efforts into areas that have a high return on investment. If you're a man, online platforms have a very low threshold of diminishing returns. The majority of your dating effort should be put into Improving yourself (personality and physique). Improving your socioeconomic status. Improving your social networks In that order. Online platforms shoul…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/22 01:03 AM
4

Those men are an exception. The record number of parasocial relationships on insta, onlyfans, etc says different. There are a high number of men throwing their money away at these virtual setups.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/22 12:47 AM
11

That's categorically false and has been proven at every level of society. Men and women both value honesty even in romance. Whats happening in these encounters is that the woman is gauging how much emotional self control you have as a man. You need to remember that most guys have 50 lbs of muscle and height on most women. Statistically, the most dangerous thing to a woman outside of cancer or heart disease is another man via domestic or sexual abuse. The courtship ritual you're taking as a song …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 08:00 PM
9

Republicans, conservatives, and libertarians talk a lot of good game about self sufficiency, but in reality they actually use just as much welfare if not more then the average. The thing is, there is nothing wrong with using welfare. It's there to be used because we all understand that you can do everything right and life will still fuck you over sometimes. But that's the rub, they're disingenuous and hypocritical about this. What conservatives really want, is benefits for them, but nothing for …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 02:34 AM
4

No, she wants a jacked black guy who either raps or plays sports. My point is that a white guy can have myriad of aesthetics, styles and hobbies and interests. For the black guy it rapper or athlete nothing else. If the black guy is jacked but works in IT and doesn't speak black enough, any benefit the physique gave him is neutralized by being a nerd. I cannot understate how fucked up the racial stereotypes in dating are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 08:55 PM
3

Settling happens
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 06:27 PM
7

Black men are definitely hypermasculanized by society, but it doesn't give the advantage you'd think it does. What happens is that women who aren't black don't accept black men who don't conform to racist stereotypes. That's maybe 10% of the black male population. Unlike what society would lead you to believe, most black men are not lyrical geniuses who can jump 6ft in the air. Most are regular dudes with average talents. So what ends up happening is a lot women who've fetishized the caricature …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 06:24 PM
4

Yeah I have a feeling that the difference in definition is not out of malice but ignorance. I remember having to explain to my former girlfriend the amount of women I had to approach before I got her. She really did not understand dating from the male side.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 06:12 PM
3

I wouldn't consider them truly single either. Though this is interesting to think about. How people have different definitions of the same word. In my mind if there's someone you have to end things with in order to be committed to the romantic interest, you weren't single. But at least now I know that people are operating with a different definition then I was.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 06:05 PM
2

This is fascinating, it seems men and women have different definitions of single. For men single means no romantic relationship or long term casual partners, maybe the odd sporadic sexual encounter if they're lucky. But no one is in the picture if they meet someone who is potentially a romantic interest For women, single means no romantic relationship. But could still have a booty call on dial or even a long term casual partner that they'd have to end things with if a potential romantic interest…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 06:00 PM
7

It seems men and women have different definitions of single. For men single means no romantic relationship or long term casual partners, maybe the odd sporadic sexual encounter if they're lucky. But no one is in the picture if they meet someone who is potentially a romantic interest For women, single means no romantic relationship. But could still have a booty call on dial or even a long term casual partner that they'd have to end things with if a potential romantic interest came along.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 05:57 PM
5

Hourglass body shape, though just like with men the mileage on that varies. I'm on the extreme end of booty preference, so the chest area is not even in my top three of body areas that I notice on a woman
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 02:58 PM
1

I definitely misunderstood your question, and I apologize, any patronizing was completely unintentional. As to your actual question there's no way to know for sure. There are numerous reasons other than physical attractiveness why a man may or may not decide to commit past FWB. Let me put it this way: Physical attraction is the biggest reason (other than maybe being desperate after an unbearably long dry spell) a man will decide to have sex with you. But whether a man wants to have sex with you …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 02:52 AM
5

Yes looks make a difference but it's complicated and there's flex. You don't need to look like a super thin model to get men who will date you seriously. I've noticed that (in general) women tend to place more importance on facial attractiveness than the overall body. Men tend to place more importance on the woman's physique. Also, the average dude typically wants woman who is not more than 15 - 30 lbs overweight. There's actually a wide range there because due to genetics some women hold fat in…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 10:22 AM
3

It's not, but it's hard to top. Death is a pretty big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 08:30 AM
1

I mostly agree. I think our hardware was designed for staying attached long enough to have babies and get those babies to survive to early adulthood. But I'm not sure we were built to do a whole lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 06:22 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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