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out-the_door Archive

View 0 posts and 17 comments by out-the_door on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

To start, I'll say that at 46 you still have some healthy years ahead, so be thankful for your health. Sounds like your career is doing well, another plus. I met my wife at 40, married her at 42, so don't cut yourself short just yet. You may just meet someone that takes the current pain away, who knows. Faced with divorce after a 20-yr marriage, I had to self-evaluate. Mainly because I was blaming myself way too much. I'm not that bad of a person, but she made me feel like I was the worst husban…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 01:30 PM
3

In the same boat; 18-yr old and a daughter that's 16; she texted me happy father's day after I reminded her, nothing from my son. Sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 01:15 PM
1

​ Typically, 'discovery' in divorce mostly refers to discovery of financial assets; and has less to do with physical/emotional abuse or the grounds for the divorce. Maybe TX is different, I don't know. All I can tell you is what I did. I didn't use mediation. I waited for her side to send their proposal. And then reviewed it on my own. There's some legalese in there not worth spending a lot of time on. Pay attention to the split of marital assets and spousal support/alimony demands. Look for any…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:01 PM
2

Once you and stbx agree to terms and both of you have signed and notarized a Marital Separation Agreement, you have a legally binding contract. So whatever is detailed in that document, that's what's getting filed. Attorney files it with the Court which then sets a review date. After it gets before a judge and is approved, you are divorced. I don't think this takes long, but every state is different.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 04:25 PM
1

Nothing against the wife, but so what if I like to see a cute MILF bent over in high heels or other similar poses. Divorce threat over this? Bullshit. Now if you're out chasing tail or screwing someone else's wife you deserve an ass beating.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 11:10 PM
1

It's effed up. I think your kids a lot younger than mine. So, I haven't seen my kids since last August. They suddenly stopped answering their phones, don't respond to texts or emails. Well, they're teenagers with their own lives now, but still. Takes all of 10 seconds to drop a text and say 'Hey Dad how's everything'. Sucks but not a lot of legal options, besides I don't want a court to force them into contact with me, I prefer they do it of their own accord. PS. My STBX's been hostile, spiteful…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 10:55 PM
4

Betrayal from someone you trusted and loved (at least at one time, anyway), is hard to take. So, advice on "getting over it", I think we're all on our own in that regard. Yet. If you suspected "something" was going on and you're still living together, collect as much evidence as possible (just because you suspect it doesn't make it true). But if it is true, gather as much as you can. If you can take that into court, prove infidelity, her settlement, whatever it is, will be much less than she's l…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 09:08 PM
2

I no longer care about my STBX's reasons for leaving, as there were no valid ones. As the song goes "she got the gold mine, I got the shaft". I prob. should have gone with a female attorney; or at least a lawyer that might have advised/protected me a little better.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 11:15 PM
5

Lots of good comments and encouragement from the guys here. You're not alone in this situation; keep reaching out. I'm in the same boat, feeling sorry for myself, chain-smoking, ruminating over what was. I've been pissed off, depressed, miserable, irritated over every little thing, worried, anxious, and giving too much $ over to lawyers and court fees. It's over, ok, I finally reached acceptance. I lost my home and family; 20+ year marriage, put everything I had into it. Wife woke up one day dec…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 09:46 PM
1

I had the same deal shoved down my throat. Had been a devoted husband and father for the past 20+ years. In 2002 I was at a crossroads in my own life; 20 years later I thought I had it all figured out, that I'd slaved to make everything safe for my family and that it was all worth it. No. This happens to me now when I am right on the cusp of retirement and in a lousy economy. I didn't lose everything, but I did lose what was most important to me. You can start your whole life over at 36. I can't…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 01:14 PM
1

I almost wish I had done something like this. If I'd fk'd up like that, at least there'd be grounds for divorce and I'd expect to have my ass kicked out. Live and learn.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 01:26 PM
5

Separated 2 years with no attempt at reconciliation, you concern about costs and benefits. There's so much emphasis on financials on these subjects, and much less attention paid to the emotional aspects. I was 62 when I went thru it. Most of your old friends and family are gone. There was a lot of loneliness, getting thru the holidays alone, not celebrating Christmas, missing the kids, etc. Financials is one thing. Losing quality of life is the bigger loss.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 12:50 PM
5

You can maybe do a little sleuthing on your own without resorting to hacking, which is illegal by the way. You have a mobile account online where you pay the bills? Check the account activity on her phone. You might be able to see a list of her phone calls, texts, to/from numbers, time of day, etc. Won't see the content but you can then Google those numbers and try to see who owns them. Start collecting and documenting the information. Do not act on it. Jettison those thoughts of anger and reven…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 09:50 PM
4

I can see an ex cutting you off from mutual friends and her family, but don't understand how she could sway your own family? This is typical behavior, anyway; she will surround herself with anyone that supports her narrative and cut off everyone else.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 03:30 PM
1

I sleep on a mattress on the floor over a garage. Eat mostly junk; sandwiches from 7-11, boxes of Devil Dogs or Yodels; I smoke a pack of Marlboros a day, drive a beater with 80,000 miles, low tire pressure and the inspection's expired; my bank account just got frozen. Hope this makes you feel better.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 02:40 PM
7

Any relationship should be rooted in something; friendship, love; a foundation. Marriages can last many years or be very short. There's always going to be disagreements, arguments, anger even, when one does something to upset the other. That's just normal. All these claims of narcissism and gaslighting I read about, it's all bullshit. Why should a wife be awarded custody of kids? That happens in 89% of divorces. Why should a husband have to pay anything, assuming he is not at fault? Alimony, chi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 02:24 PM
5

At 34 you're still young enough to move on in life. I was in the same boat after 10 yrs of marriage and two kids back-to-back. The signs were all there. She even told me one day, "This is over". Ok, if I could go back in time to that moment and counsel myself, the answer would be: leave. I stayed; for the sake of my children, I stayed. I developed a 2nd career, paid off a home, got them into good schools, etc, did everything for my family, tried to make up for whatever made her unhappy. When the…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 01:57 PM
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