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View 2 posts and 44 comments by outsideofaustin on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
58

outsideofaustin/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:08 AM
5

outsideofaustin/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 06:59 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

47m. 2 school aged kids. I was separated for 1.5 years (actual divorce still ongoing over 3 years later.) Met on Tinder (sorry, it happened to be an app!) but it took a lot of putting myself out there - maybe met 30 different women that weren’t a match first. Went to meetups and approached in day to day life. Yes and no. It took time to get comfortable meeting women. It was so foreign and uncomfortable at first. But my social network has always been strong. What changed… I started taking great c…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 05:36 AM
3

It’s important for me to add that it hasn’t been easy. It wasn’t easy to meet women. It wasn’t easy to feel good about myself again. And being a single parent isn’t easy. All the advice you hear about health, therapy, gym and finding support really helped me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 09:07 PM
5

I learned that there are a lot of women in similar situations. And that we shouldn’t make generalizations that all women want the same thing. I’ve been seeing a woman who lives a few hours away. We aligned our schedules and we spend our kid free weekends together. Neither of us are interested in playing house, we want to focus on our kids. And when we don’t have the kids, we focus on each other. Props to you for being an awesome dad - especially while navigating this time in life.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:29 PM
1

Day game is a style of meeting people in casual, daytime settings by starting light, situational conversations that feel organic rather than forced. Some of us can do this naturally. Others can benefit by doing a little research and planning to help get over the anxiety of approaching a woman in real life.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 04:28 PM
2

Hey man, this is difficult. I get it. There isn't an easy answer. And everyone is a little different. For me, it has been hard. What has helped the most have been practicing basic meditation and mindfulness techniques. Literally training my brain to release the thoughts and to quit ruminating. Then focus my thoughts on other things. First I need to recognize when I am doing it. Then I make a conscious decision to stop and to focus on something else. Then repeat. The most simple way to get starte…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 07:50 AM
6

Therapy can’t fix something that is fundamentally broken. We would have fights where we just didn’t even understand each other’s point of view. We live in different realities. It still happens today - she recently made a claim that something didn’t happen when it was all via email. Like, we can both see the messages sent and we have different interpretations of what it meant. Therapy had no chance.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 05:01 AM
7

I’d start by reading the book, “No More Mr Nice Guy.” Seriously. You have expectations that aren’t being met. But that isn’t 100% on her. Your income difference would make divorce very painful for you. And if you feel that is an excuse for her “owing” you anything… then you need to work through your own issues before considering divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 08:33 PM
3

12 step program. I recognize it may not be an addiction, but you need to come to terms with the betrayal and dishonesty. Therapy is a good start, but it’s not enough. You need to find a group of supportive men to help you work through why you would do this to someone. At least, that is my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 06:14 AM
1

You should enjoy it for what it is - Don't overthink the situation(ship). Take it one day at a time and see how it goes. Personally, I don't think you need to be completely over someone to start dating again.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 05:23 PM
3

Dating while you are still cohabitating is difficult, but not impossible. I met a woman who was in a similar position and also went out with a few that weren't my type. I was similar with the emotional loneliness, so I was open to any sort of attention I could find. Once my ex moved out, dating got a little bit easier. I took an attitude that I'd go out with any woman that would date me - so many of these dates weren't great. It helped me gain confidence and eventually I met someone amazing. The…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 03:59 AM
2

I agree here. It sounds like OP’s husband is very depressed. I’d be looking for resources on how to help a very depressed partner. I don’t know the right answer and maybe there is nothing to be done. But I’d at least try to help get him on the right track.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 04:32 PM
3

This! ^ I totally get where OP is coming from and I'm in a similar situation. I'm taking it one day at a time and living in the moment. Our brains can be tricky - we crave (and miss) what is familiar. Someone once told me that the typical grieving process can be as long as 5 years. Personally, I don't think you are being unfair to the new girl. You deserve to be happy and to find someone who treats you right.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 06:04 PM
1

Wait, lesbians?!? I bet there is a good story here. I bet they make incredible wing women. Where do I find single lesbians to befriend?
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 04:03 PM
1

Ok good... I was thinking, "wow this guy has women hitting on him!" Back to your original point - for me, confidence came from doing the work. Gym, getting my shit together, the self improvement books, therapy and having a social life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 05:25 AM
2

I totally agree with this sentiment. Especially the hobbies and working on your health and being in shape. The only part that was hard for me was meeting new people. No one comes to me… I have to be intentional in trying to meet women. Apps, social events and putting myself in situations to strike up conversations.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 03:23 AM
12

I can understand wanting to support your kids and set them up for success. But i think you are playing with fire dating and telling your ex about it while cohabitating. There are few scenarios where this ends well for you. Every situation is different, so maybe I’m wrong. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 03:40 AM
15

This is a weird part of life. It sounds more like you are on the road to reconciliation with your ex, so be careful. It could really inflame the situation at home if she finds out you are dating. And child support… in most states, she can always go back on her word and get it. On the dating side, you should tell this woman as soon as possible your situation. It’s not cool to hide you are still living with your ex. I’d tell her before the first date. But that’s just me. When I was in a similar si…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 03:04 AM
9

Personally, I find these posts insensitive and out of touch. A lot of men stumble upon this sub as their lives are in shambles. They are navigating a divorce, custody battle, finding a new place to live, figuring out how pay support and alimony, being a single father, navigating the trauma of betrayal, mental health of substance abuse issues… The notion that it should be easy to find easy sex after divorce is lame. For the majority, it’s hard or impossible. For many it’s a not a priority. For ot…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:37 PM
2

Hey dude, you were and are in a very difficult spot. I have a 13 year old special needs girl who is aggressive. It was tremendously hard on our marriage and myself. I smoked and drank to cope. It's even harder as a single parent sharing custody. While I can't say I fully understand your situation, I know that is way more difficult than most people can imagine. If you haven't already, I highly recommend you find a 12-step meeting. Start going every day. And if you try one it don't like it, try a …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 04:58 AM
2

That’s an interesting perspective. It makes sense and partially explains why we tend to be monogamous - we literally didn’t have much of a choice! Another perspective is that we are comforted by what is familiar. So even if your ex was toxic and betrayed you, you still miss her because that was what you know. For me, it’s been important to learn that I can control what I focus on. And redirecting my thoughts has been critical into not worrying about what she is doing. The abundance mindset helps…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 05:27 PM
12

The thought processes that helped me... is there are literally billions of women in this world. Many of them I'd love to sleep with. Why think about only one of them? And, I've already been with her countless times. It is time for something new. The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else (this isn't really true, but I like the saying.)
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 02:57 AM
4

This is the best answer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 10:37 PM
1

lol, that is so true. Idk about you, but I’m very far off from considering getting married again. And the new girl doesn’t want to marry again either. At least for now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 10:09 PM
19

Physically, my ex is still exactly my type. It's painful to think of her with someone else. And she is especially hot when she is mad (and she is always pissed at me.) With that being said, my new gf is younger, more successful and also hot. And treats me way better.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 05:28 AM
1

This makes a lot of sense! I'd also take what you would owe her and put that money aside for when/if she changes her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 01:24 AM
8

That is a hard way to live. Many of us have similar stories, including myself. Cohabiting is hard. And it might get harder when you move out. But then things will improve. Dramatically. You will learn that you are still lovable and it wasn’t all your fault. There is still a great life ahead of you. Age isn’t easy on anyone. Including men. We have to work hard to buck the trend. Take care of yourself, lift weights, exercise, eat well, avoid alcohol, pursue hobbies you love and you’ll find attract…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 01:49 AM
1

Thank you for the positive comments. You aren’t wrong in what you are saying. When I originally made this post I wasn’t in a good place. I know I made the right decision to fight for custody.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 06:33 AM
1

I’m glad that it’s always been clear for you. I’ve never walked in your shoes, maybe you are a better man than I. If I was just talking about my boy, I’d 100% agree. But things with my girl haven’t been clear for me and they still aren’t. She is disabled and non verbal autistic and has been on 4 different medications over the past year. She was removed from public school for aggression and other disturbing behaviors. She then spiraled into a mental health crisis and continues to struggle with tr…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 10:25 PM
2

Hey man, I know it can seem that way. But it’s just not true. If you haven’t already, study scarcity vs abundance mindset. It literally comes down to your perception of this world. I’m 46, went through a nasty custody battle and still in the middle of a nasty divorce. I have a disabled daughter. But yet… I’m dating a beautiful woman 7 years younger than me, successful, smart, has money and she thinks I’m amazing. I never thought I’d be here. But here I am.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 12:37 AM
1

Don’t be ridiculous. There are something like 3.5 billion women on this planet. Some of them want to be stepmoms. And many of them have kids that need stepfathers.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 11:34 PM
3

Yes, it sounds like you are being unfair. He has family nearby and you married under the pretext of living in NYC. And now that you've changed your mind, "it's not really love" It sounds like its the other way around. You want out of your marriage and you are finding a reason to justify it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 08:02 PM
13

I've been separated for 2 years and the final is no where in sight. While I agree with the essence of the message, the reality is that all of our personal circumstances are different and should be approached accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 02:53 AM
2

This is true. But the cruel reality is it’s very hard and few have the strength to revoke it at will.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 05:13 AM
1

Hey dude, I am sorry to hear about your experience. I imagine that had a huge impact on your life and how you view being a parent. I grew up with a loving father. I could never imagine what it would be like without him part of my life. It was a black hole of understanding how a parent could not be with their children. I wrote this post over a year ago. My ex went nuclear on me and I've spend the past year in and out of court fighting for custody of my children, defending against untrue allegatio…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 02:52 PM
1

I think you divorce while you are still getting along. It’s your best shot at doing meditation and being amicable. We waited, it turned hostile and now she is fighting every single tiny thing. Now I’m $20k deep in lawyer fees and the end is no where in sight. I wish ae would have done it fast when it first came up.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 10:59 PM
6

This is insane. I'm beginning to think mine did the same... because I get the same endless harassment. I'm filing for discovery and maybe I discover that mine also has this agreement? It is very predatory by the lawyer in order to rack up as many legal fees as possible. From what I understand (and please correct me), she is responsible for her own legal fees. So there isn't anything you can do. Just keep all your records and don't ignore their filings. If you follow the rules, they shouldn't be …
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 02:09 AM
1

But that is what I’m saying, there is no scarcity. That is a mindset. This compares to a mindset of abundance. There are more women in this world than you can ever meet. And yes, woman can say they want a 6 foot man in finance. But do you want to be the male equivalent? Think about what kind of men and women these people attract. Personally, I prefer a woman that is closer to an equal or is complimentary. Don’t get me wrong, woman overseas are fun and a great experience. But you have to be caref…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 05:50 PM
6

I know sometimes it can feel like this is true, but it isn’t. It’s a sign of a scarcity mindset. There are billions of people in this world, you can’t easily put all of them into one of those buckets.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 11:52 PM
2

This ☝️ It took me too long to realize that I and only I am responsible for my happiness. It isn’t easy, but it is well worth the effort. You know what you need to do. If you needs ideas or someone to chat with, feel free to DM me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 06:08 PM
3

This ☝️ I went through something similar. It doesn’t matter what your ex thinks anymore. You are free of her controlling behaviors and it’s time to stand up for yourself. You are entitled to 50% custody in California. If your ex won’t agree, then a judge will issue a court order. I’d recommend getting in the habit of documenting everything. Women have been known to start lying and making shit up to get their way.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 09:27 PM
1

Thanks for your comment and sharing this experience. It sounds like it hasn’t been easy. It’s been a year since I made this post. I decided that I’d be the best father I can and I have been flighting with the ex in court ever since. Everything is an issue. We have two court dates next week where she continues to try to take my kids from me. Despite her best efforts, the kids LOVE their time with me. I am far from perfect. But we have fun and they tell me they wish to have more time with me. It’s…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 06:31 PM
5

I agree here. A good judge doesn’t care about how you feel about it, they are going to be looking at the best interest of the child. In front of the judge, I recommend focusing on your child’s best interest and less on how you feel/think/want. Good luck buddy!
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 05:31 PM
2

Yes, I’ve been dating. And it’s been the best thing in the world for me. My divorce could take another year to complete, are you suggesting i should have multiple years of celibacy?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 04:40 PM
3

This sounds like a bad idea in my situation. CS in the state I’m in is based on % time with children. Giving her 100% time with children would mean the highest CS payment.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 03:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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