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p0ludnitsa Archive

View 3 posts and 181 comments by p0ludnitsa on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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16

You are absolutely inspirational to me. Your story encourages me to grab social awkwardness by the horns and stare it in the eyes until it blinks first. I have been doing so much better with being ok with sitting in that discomfort of responding/acting how I really feel instead of what I've been conditioned to do. You are my hero in that regard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:14 AM
68

Yep. "I see that you are treating me with a level of respect and kindness that I am incapable of reciprocating."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 11:57 PM
70

This radiates the exact same energy as the pickmes who say "Oh I'm checking them out too 🤪" in response to witnessing their scrote leering at other women. Like they think that somehow that makes them even, when in reality both they and their trash ass bfs are losers. Because if you tell a man that you like women too, he won't get jealous or mad. They don't see it as something to get jealous over because in their minds they're thinking you're down for a threesome, which would benefit them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 08:40 PM
561

What the hell kind of "other way" is there to resolve this?????? There's not. He stole from her, end of story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 08:23 PM
2

First time??! It needs to be the LAST time. And a relationship with a future cheater and pornsick piece of shit "lasting for the long haul"???? What in the Kentucky fried fuck...... Also I think "sexual compatibility" is a lie propagated by men to get women to have sex with them without having to marry. She's on some Barbara the Builder type shit ("what I can do to help him out?") and this won't end well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 12:43 PM
8

And a lot of times revealing clothes aren't because of that. I'm not talking about showing up in a crop top and booty shorts to a business meeting, but women being able to move freely through the world clothed as they wish. "She should've been covered up" is an argument used by misogynists to excuse rape. A woman should be free to cover every inch of her skin if she wants. She should also be able to wear a cute skirt. It puts me in a really bad fight-or-flight headspace when I see men AND women …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:32 PM
26

I can see that she is coping in the best way she has been able to find. But I think it's a maladaptive and dangerous coping mechanism, much the same as how I wanted to be choked and bruised to cope with how much I hated myself. Furthering sexual violence with more violence or self-exploitation won't fix or help with the wound. It will still be there, unacknowledged and festering until the self is treated with the kindness it deserves. I hope she finds a better way to healing and loving herself t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:23 PM
14

If you seem week mentally, that's all they need. A really interesting point about Lolita fashion in particular was that part of the reason it became so popular with women was that (most) men don't find the style appealing. For those who don't know what Lolita is, it's an elaborate, often hyperfeminine and doll-like style of dress that originated in Japan. People who hate the fashion call it immature, which would lead most to assume that it means the women who wear it are vulnerable, weak, and th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 04:03 PM
15

That's another great point. It's what led me to say that I feel like we as women lose either way. If we cover up because we feel like our bodies are not for public consumption, men get triggered "wHy ArE yOu HiDiNg YoUr BeAuTy?!?" And if we don't cover up because we're sweating in the summer or we feel like our bodies are a canvas, men get triggered "sLuT! wHoRe! I cAn SeE yOuR sHoUlDeRs" We can't win. Like you said, only men have the freedom to dress how they want without anyone publicly debati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:18 PM
20

I understand that in your post you didn't mention rape. However, it boils down to varying degrees of "if you don't dress more like an Amish woman you are trash and deserve to be with an abusive, lazy, manipulative LVM" which is still encompassed by rape/purity culture because it's removing a woman's (who is HUMAN) right to be respected by men based on how she is dressed. It implies that the victim of abuse could have prevented it by dressing modestly, and that abuse has material causality. LVM w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:09 PM
85

There is actually a comic/cartoon that perfectly encapsulates my whole point about how inescapable misogyny is. In it there are two women walking past each other. One is wearing a bikini and dark sunglasses on her way to the beach while the other is wearing a burqa and is covering her face, save for her eyes. They are both looking at each other as they pass with thought bubbles over each of their heads. The first woman's reads "Everything covered but her eyes, what a cruel male-dominated society…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 07:03 AM
35

I'm so sorry for your experience. And yes, that's entirely true. I think that some women use the concept of modesty as a way to cope with knowing that we can't dress ourselves out of rape culture. If we could, then Afghanistan would be the safest place in the world for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 06:43 AM
76

Great example. I've had similar things said to me and also found it disgusting. They're not loyal because they're good men, they're "loyal" because they're not wealthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 05:41 AM
434

Why is a "kink" always synonymous with "something super fucked up and abnormal that I get off on but want to talk about in public spaces so I hide behind and appropriate the sex positivity movement and tell the people who are not super fucked up in the head like I am and are rightfully grossed out/horrified by my kink that they're being mean and sHaMiNg Me"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 05:31 AM
201

I agree with all of your points except the first one. I get strong religious fundamentalist vibes from it. Also, some of us got our teenage years taken away from us, so we're dressing how we want to in our 20s. We're not dressing this way to attract men, because as we all know here, men will catcall even if you're wearing an oversized sweatsuit covering all your skin. I just feel like somewhere there is a line between the libfem "free the nipple" pandering to male voyeurism type stuff that makes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 04:50 AM
22

I have not and will never say it first. I'd expect it a few months after him formally asking me to be his girlfriend, when we know each other better. Anything under 4 months is too soon, as his mask will not have had time to slip. This is just my experience and may not be the same for everyone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 12:03 AM
11

I have saved my time, money, and peace by not engaging with LVM and having a strong cutoff game. Love this, and same. Peace is invaluable. No one's LVM son is stressing me out or making me feel bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 11:56 PM
2

I'm sorry, what? I remember skimming through that post and I just assumed that from the ages that they were married???? Jesus. That's a little depressing to think about now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 04:34 AM
76

Exactly. They get off on making others uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 03:32 AM
157

he's leaving things out of his little pervert story There's allllllways a percentage of often vital information omitted in shit like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 03:29 AM
21

YES. I'm not going to praise a man for doing what most women do by default.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 03:08 AM
64

"Can I run any of your errands?" "I'm bringing dinner for you tonight." "I'll mow your lawn/rake leaves/etc. for you." "What kind of medicine do you want me to pick up?" Edit: His statements should show an eagerness to help you. You do not want any variation of "Let me know if there's anything I can do" and I'll explain why. "Let me know" allows someone to feel like they're being helpful with words without following through with actions. It shifts the burden of requesting assistance to the ill p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:22 AM
100

Women waste waaaay too much time we'll never get back trying to figure out a situation, and it's not only unneeded, it's detrimental. THIS. I found out the majority and true extent of my ex's lies months AFTER I left. I can't imagine how I would've felt if I had stuck around and found all of that out while still playing the fool's role of Good Girlfriend™. I saw what I needed to see, took the L, and dipped. It wasn't worth my dignity to keep handing out chance after chance to someone who didn't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 11:56 PM
72

Thank you so much for making this list. I agree with every item here. This is BASIC decency and what should be considered the norm. Instead, due to mens' laziness as a whole and the pickmes who accept men doing less, the men who do some of these things (not even all) expect to be worshiped. They think that because they cook, don't walk around with skid marks on their underwear, mop their kitchen, and have a job that they are an anomaly and a god amongst men. If you don't get down on your knees a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 11:40 PM
338

If it bothers you enough to ask FDS about it..... then nah. You will never be comfortable with it as time goes on and he will not unfollow them on his own. Personally, I wouldn't like it either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:28 AM
113

Agreed. Rather, take them for yourself if you like but never share them. Not because your body isn't beautiful and worthy of admiration, but because no male on this earth can be trusted to keep those to himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:22 AM
56

IT WILL NOT GET BETTER. Read that one over and over until it sinks in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:13 AM
272

Fucking dump him. Rip off the band-aid because it will get worse from here. What you found is only the tip of the iceberg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:05 AM
52

My first boyfriend (who was LV but not abusive like my second bf) told me that, because I was female, my body was "designed for" childbirth and the excruciating pain would be no big deal so I shouldn't worry about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:51 PM
28

Google is free. They can use it for 10 minutes to look up something interesting in the city, even if they've never been. They're lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 01:42 PM
39

Let him have his cheap high. At least she's safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 03:03 PM
102

When I first started seeing my ex I knew that porn was a thing, but beyond that I knew nothing of what it really contained. I told him I was waiting for marriage to have sex so naturally he became obsessed with talking about it and all the sexual acts he wanted me to do after we were married. It wasn't until after we broke up, having never married, and I started reading FDS that I learned that all his weird, sick requests came from the porn he was consuming. Everything he wanted was a porn categ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 03:00 PM
115

Yes. They're tests. What will she put up with? What's her level of resistance? He's using all of the feedback from your reactions to gauge how likely you are to stay in an abusive relationship with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 02:43 PM
3

I feel the same way about women who are cool-girling it about their bf having close female friends or being friends with their ex. I'm not convinced. But like you said, it's none of my business. I loled at "pickme points" 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 02:19 PM
2

And I agree with you. What I am saying is that every woman's set of standards is going to be different. One woman may not care that a guy is chubby or overweight, whereas I care a lot and want my mate to be physically fit. We all get to choose what's most important to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 02:07 PM
2

Sometimes they save you so much time by outing themselves early on like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 01:20 PM
6

As a heterosexual woman, yes, I desire companionship with a suitable man. However, I don't need to "hold myself back" from doing something I simply don't care to do. It's not because I think LVM deserve respect (they don't) or because I'm denying myself the grand pleasure of objectifying a male. I have my own unique set of standards that won't work for every woman, and that's okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 01:13 PM
40

I'd be glad to tell you more. You can assess a male based on what you observe contrasted with what you know. Like if he's constantly telling you how pretty or sexy you are. Compliments instead of negs are good, right? Not always. If he's complimenting you ONLY on your looks and never on your talents, interests, or abilities, then his goal is to have sex with you, not to have a relationship. He's a no-go. With that said, I try to see if there's a good balance with a guy based on the behavior he e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 02:15 AM
20

I'm definitely pleased by a guy with good aesthetics, don't get me wrong. But because it's not as important to me as the other things I named, I don't rank based on looks. So I'm not 1 to 10-ing every male who walks past me lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 01:40 AM
95

I rank men all the time. I leverage their skills, capacity for competent leadership, intelligence, physical strength, etc. against their insecurities and other shortcomings. Though this is for mate evaluation, not oogling at random males for no reason, which I can't relate to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 12:39 AM
357

I'm really glad that you're figuring out what your boundaries are. I like talk on the phone and muchhhhh prefer it to texting, especially with romantic prospects. They have less time to research or come up with lies when you're speaking to them "live". HOWEVER. His response was just rude. It sounds like he was trying to conflate his value to you by saying he'll "lose interest" if you don't talk to him immediately/compete with however many other women he's talking to for his attention. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 12:32 AM
4

Honestly, I think that could be classified as pickme radicalism. They think that wearing only dresses, relinquishing agency, and deferring constantly to men makes them appealing. It does make them appealing... to abusers. I call it radicalism because of how dangerous it is for women and girls to follow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 11:56 PM
64

A HVM will be HV in all instances, even if given the opportunity he does not sink to that level. Exactly. That's my point in a nutshell. Any weaknesses you have won't be exploited by someone who is comfortable with who they are. I'm very sorry for your experience. Feminine energy is not a limitless resource from which men can leech and steal. Unfortunately many women are not shown or taught that they can deny access to those who seek to take without giving kindly in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 03:08 AM
32

I upvoted based on the title before I even read the whole post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 02:05 AM
68

I don't think you should put too much stock into this or allow it to define you if you don't feel like it applies to you. Femininity is individual. It doesn't always look like long hair, makeup, and heels. It's the unique way you experience and celebrate being a woman, and you can do that in your hiking boots and tee shirts just the same. You can be both fearsome AND feminine. Don't let the performative femininity bullshit make you feel like you're less of a woman just because you don't present …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:43 AM
267

As someone who also enjoys reading about feminine energy, I have always felt conflicted about this. On one hand I love making a man feel needed. Intuitively I know it makes them feel strong, like leaders/protectors, and like I trust them to help me. Allowing a partner to witness your vulnerability can often create intimacy in a HEALTHY relationship. I place emphasis on healthy relationship. If you're with a N/LVM, the second you let him feel needed or like his presence is a requirement in your l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:20 AM
11

I agree. I don't think video games are bad when someone plays them as a hobby for fun. If there's no addiction and your partner isn't forsaking you for gaming all the time then I don't see much of an issue. Boundaries are boundaries. There are certain things I won't tolerate a man doing, so I'm not going to entertain it. I'll avoid being a relationship with someone whose hobbies I dislike rather than trying to police their engagement in those hobbies after the fact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 01:26 PM
39

I hate looking at this shit. To me, it's so disgusting it can't even be considered funny. I know that men and pickmes like this exist. I don't want to see reminders on a forum for high-value women who wouldn't touch something like this with a thirty-foot pole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 01:43 AM
20

I'm starting a new outdoor (yay safe socialization!) sport. Though membership is 98% male, I do know that a handful of women in my area participate. Here's to hoping I meet them, and to you finding friends the same way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:29 AM
83

"It's flattering knowing men desire me. But then I remember a man would also have sex with a McChicken. So I don't let it get to my head."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:11 AM
201

Confident, empowered men are often the most gentle, caring, and kind. They were raised to be the best version of themselves so they don't feel the need to take others down or abuse them to get a sense of control in their lives. We aren't here because we want men to shrink or be smaller. We just want them to realise that others exist in this world alongside them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:17 AM
61

If she's saying she gets hit on that much she's either lying because she's insecure or lying because she's a narcissist and wants to make you feel bad about yourself because you threaten her on some level. People who actually do get a lot of attention from the opposite sex don't need to bring it up all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:11 AM
64

The fastest, strongest, healthiest fish aren't eaten by the barracuda. The lame ones, the sick ones, the slow ones are always the first to be picked off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 11:34 PM
109

Queen of the construction crew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 11:28 PM
198

I used to get so offended when I read this because I equated sexual interest with genuine interest in me as a person or how outwardly attractive I was. I wasn't old enough to know the difference. "You're just bitter or trying to call me unattractive! Men want me! That means I'm pretty! That means I'm alluring!" No, it doesn't. It actually doesn't say anything about me as a person or my value. It doesn't mean I'm beautiful or that my personality is magnetic. It only means that I'm female and a ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 11:22 PM
452

This is upholding "girl code". More women like this, please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 11:15 PM
35

Me too, like, the uneven growth... how????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 02:49 AM
229

Not worth even commenting on the caption but that NAIL is sending me 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 02:42 AM
93

I believe this is true for the vast majority of people regardless of how outwardly attractive they are. I don't want someone to be with me just because they don't think they can get anyone else. That's not love. I'd rather stay single than be someone's compromise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 12:41 AM
51

never talk bad about yourself in front of anyone but especially in front of men. ‼️ VITAL strategy. Do not, under any circumstances, talk bad about yourself in front of or with a man. Even self-depreciating humor. You want to make fun of yourself to break the ice, assuage his ego, show that you're not stuck up, or maybe you're just uncomfortable. I don't care. Hold it back. A man will see a weak woman with low self-esteem ripe to be exploited and used. Don't do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:53 AM
19

Or worse, him forcing you to act out the sick sex acts he watched in porn When I first started seeing my ex I knew that porn was a thing, but beyond that I knew nothing of what it really contained. I told my ex I was waiting for marriage to have sex so naturally he became obsessed with talking about it and all the sexual acts he wanted me to do after we were married (lmao). It wasn't until after we broke up, having never married, and I started reading FDS that I learned that all his weird, sick …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:45 AM
17

CUPBOARD CRETIN 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:34 AM
38

You're so right. Men want to punish you for stepping out of line so you'll be less inclined to do it again. They'll try to scare and shame you into compliance and silence. It only works because a pickme's worst fear is to be alone. She'll sell her soul and her dignity as a woman just so she won't have to spend a day by herself. If this means that pretending to be ok with her bf watching porn is what she has to do to say she's in a relationship, then she will be biting herself until the salt from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:31 AM
52

I am so proud of you!!! Your emotional intelligence is very high and that's what will protect you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:15 AM
39

I love this post. Thank you. I've never debated it with a guy or even with myself. He invites me on an outing so I assume that he's assessed his financial situation and concluded that he's able to pay for himself and another. End of story. If the contrary is true then I will see myself out of such a "date". I'm not doing mental gymnastics figuring out the cost of my Kotex, mascara, or the pepper spray I keep on my keys vs a fucking entree at a restaurant. It's too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 06:19 PM
27

I've always struggled with this line of reasoning because it's not going to apply to childfree women like myself. Essentially I feel like it strips away some of my value as a woman because I don't intend to reproduce. I feel like that's saying that I don't deserve to have the guy pay since I'm not going to breed with him. This isn't an attack on anyone who does agree with that reason, I'm just pointing out that there is a small percentage of women for whom that won't apply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 06:10 PM
194

"as long as he was there I would always be happy." Sadly she opened herself up to this by making another person her only source of happiness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 06:00 PM
14

Yes. They're like badly behaved children. Any attention, positive or negative, is what they want. So to engage in any way is to reward and incentivize them to continue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 03:42 AM
233

Dear god. Phenomenal information. Thank you so, so much for posting this. I want to share something that isn't directly related but if it reaches even one woman who feels the same or relates, I will feel better. I can personally attest to the "speaking about the macabre" point made here. I am that kind of person and was abused by a narcissist. As that kind of person, I believe that if that applies to you and you're a woman, you have a higher chance of being "into" BDSM, or more specifically a D/…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 01:50 AM
25

You can’t enforce a boundary on someone else or manipulate/play games with them to try and make them treat you better - at that point you’ve already lost. 👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 11:02 PM
4

Yes! His entitlement is what makes this disgusting. Like she's already going out of her way (🚩) to make food for him and he finds the audacity to whine that something was missing from a meal he wasn't guaranteed to have in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 10:31 PM
7

Misery loves company.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 10:26 PM
26

I love this and I am so proud of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 09:24 PM
50

More posts like this one please. My ex was the same way. I asked why he and one of his ex-wives divorced and the reasoning he gave me was always generalized and murky. "We grew apart" was his go-to phrase, citing that they didn't have things in common. Ok, so why the FUCK would you marry someone you didn't feel connected to??? That excuse never satisfied me. She wasn't ever my favorite person due to her behavior during our relationship, but I couldn't help but wonder if she was subject to any of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 03:36 AM
68

Yes, unfortunately this is very true. Men are going to be filthy perverts no matter what. Tattoos are beautiful and I hope you don't let them make you think otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 03:22 AM
170

Hear me out... I personally would love to pack my HUSBAND'S lunch for him if our schedules worked out that way. If I ran out and he calls me on his break asking in a cute/funny 🥺 non-manipulative way where they are today and asking if I need money to buy more, I'd think it was endearing and amusing that he's so attached to his little fruit snacks and that he appreciates me doing that for him even though I certainly don't have to. But this behavior, from her wording and from him as a BOYFRIEND, m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:37 PM
459

Red flags are like cockroaches. Seeing 1 means there are 10 more hidden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 05:12 PM
12

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 04:10 PM
96

+1 I fully support the "FDS is like Fight Club" thing. Don't bring it up IRL and use a Reddit account only for posting here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:19 PM
26

I love her 😂👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:17 PM
16

I was pondering this too. There's really no such thing as a female incel. Women can go out and get sex (albeit most likely poor-quality) if they want to. They just don't want to, and that's what is so unfathomable to LVM. They can't comprehend someone declining to have sex. Edit: I reread your post and totally missed the part where you talked about FDS to men. I don't think that's a good idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:15 PM
13

I don't know about other apps, but on Snapchat or Instagram if you knew a guy's username and then suddenly he tells you he deleted it (lmfao), either make a dummy account or ask a friend if you can use theirs and search his username. He could just have you blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 01:56 PM
8

Same here, I want to protect ALL women. I want to make it easier for women from other cultures to empower themselves to take steps for making the changes that will help them improve their unique situation. That's why the "social group strategy" posts are so important. They are not for you or me, they are for the maverick women within that culture who want to preserve what is good and discard what is harmful. You also make a great point about being rational. Too often, from both liberals and cons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 05:23 PM
152

⚠️ NO, NO, NO, DO NOT TELL A MAN YOU DON'T HAVE FRIENDS For several reasons you must lie and say that you have more friends. Your safety. Those friends will notice if you disappear. Defense Against the Dark Narcs 101, him thinking you have more/a normal amount of friends (harder to isolate you in the future) can be a deterrent. Telling him you have friends creates the opportunity for him to not be taking you for granted. You can make up events, such as getting your nails done with a girlfriend o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 04:29 PM
33

Is this supposed to make me laugh? How far gone do you have to be to be this comfortable exclaiming to the world that you have no personality, life, or healthy sense of sexuality?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 04:20 PM
25

This is so true, and it's dangerous. Excusing or overlooking obvious woman-hating behavior from a culture we're unfamiliar with because we've been conditioned to think that it's racist or xenophobic to point that shit out is a betrayal to womankind. I think that liberalism as a whole has this problem. They're too afraid to touch or broach certain topics for fear of being labeled a racist or "-phobe" of some kind. Which is valid, because radical conservatives often fake concern TO be genuinely ra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 03:01 PM
220

That's enough internet for today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 05:53 AM
172

Why keep a man who is okay with this? I feel like this kind of pickmeism is terminal. She won't learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 03:22 PM
48

Lmao. Shot herself in the foot there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 03:09 PM
56

Oh dear god. Yes. And the reverse is also true, where a self-righteous man can try to paint YOU as the self-righteous one because of THEIR insecurity over a behavior of theirs they know isn't "righteous" like your hypocrite friend drinking. I don't smoke weed. Never have, don't want to. My ex had in the past and assumed that because I was younger that I'd be cool with it. I respectfully said that I didn't want to. I didn't shame him at all and expected that to be the end of the conversation. How…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 03:05 PM
840

Gross all around. The fact that she planned it, the old roommate accepted it, and that the husband went with it. I don't like the idea of doing threesomes as a "gift". As if it's some kind of punishment to be having sex with one person? You got married, you knew that marriage means commitment to one person. I hate this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 02:53 PM
8

I struggled with the same thing. I had so much vitriol for myself whenever I thought about what I put up with. Things that are crystal clear to me now as abuse and manipulation were things that I excused or rationalized with cope because I was new to dating and because he said he loved me. I hated myself for being so fucking dumb. Like, it's so obvious, how in the world could I not have seen?!?! But I slowly learned to have compassion for the girl I was when I was with him. She was naive. Uneduc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:53 PM
6

I love that he plans dates, doesn't watch porn, and doesn't pressure you for sex. The flowers too, ugh! Congrats 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:37 PM
13

I was doing similar stuff. And it was only hurting me. Seriously, as the other poster said, buy yourself something small as a reward for not checking it for 3 days. Buy yourself something a little nicer after not checking it for a week. It's kind of like fighting a little addiction. You can win this one, then go on to be open to a much better relationship (if you choose).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:34 PM
2

Oh damn. I didn't think about the timing. Good observation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:14 PM
28

💯 You will always be in second place. Do not lower yourself by staying in this relationship begging to be made a priority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 02:26 AM
39

This is a very telling statement. Equating a woman who has self-respect and humble confidence with a man is both a compliment and a display of fear. LVM cannot be real men and pickmes aren't wanted by them. So of course they think that a woman who cares about and respects herself is acting like a man. They say that phrase hoping that it will offend or hurt a HVW's feelings so she'll shrink and be a doormat that they can walk over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 02:01 AM
38

Straight and to the point, no bullshit, take the L and dip. Don't waste your time. Someone who uses the "fAmiLy" card is likely trying to keep their orbiters (individuals they use for an ego boost) close without being called out for being shady. Someone may call you insecure for reacting like that to your bf "jUsT hAvInG a CoNvErSaTiOn" with a woman he used to have sex with. Just know that your boundaries are your boundaries. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just can't make ourselves com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:51 AM
31

Absolutely. You must be, at any time, capable of supporting yourself AND any children you have if need be. And I don't mean only if he cheats or becomes abusive. Unless you have a good relationship with your family/support system who can help, sickness or death of a husband can spell disaster for a housewife as well. PLEASE think about this. If you've got all that covered, I don't see any problem with choosing to be a SAHM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 10:41 PM
102

The 2 things, above all else, that help protect you the most from abuse are financial autonomy and self-respect. One without the other is useless. Get your money right so you are not depending on a man for it. I don't care if he bought you better shit, more shit, fancier shit than you had on your own. The point is that you were alright before he came along and you'll be alright if you have to leave. You having money means that you will never have to decide between homelessness/starvation or bein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 01:17 AM
60

"Addicted to the feeling of being misunderstood" is an excellent way to describe it. At the root that's what it is. It is far, far easier to wallow in misery and self-loathing than to do any kind of serious reflection so you can change or alter what about yourself is making you unhappy. It is easier to blame others for your shortcomings than to take accountability for being insufferable, entitled, hateful, and delusional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 07:46 PM
210

It really makes me happy to know that there are normal men out there who don't have to put others down to pull themselves up. They're simply decent people with a healthy sense of self who speak with pride about their partners. Thank you for this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 04:55 AM
3

All your comments are being hidden and I can't tell why that is. You were approved to post, so it's confusing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:41 AM
69

I think a quality breakfast date is amazing and could be a sign that he thinks outside the box.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:33 AM
40

Oh my god. This was my ex. Like, to a T. The age gap, the "maturity", the "communication", the making you feel like YOU are the abnormal one for pointing out predatory and perverted behavior, spending on you, white-knighting himself for being SOOOO understanding about your prudishness waiting until marriage, taking care of you, cooking, allllll of it done not for love but for the purpose of obligating you to stay with him. You described him perfectly, almost to where I think we may have even dat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 09:11 PM
138

"I might make an exception for you" WHAT THE FUCK??? You're on a date with him, he obviously already thought you were beautiful, yet here he is acting like he's doing you some kind of favor by "excusing" your height??? Sounds like he was massively insecure about his own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 02:08 PM
86

I'd like to place a harsh reminder within a reminder: in enmeshment situations like this, despite how shitty it is, the child is always going to be the one responsible for ending the enmeshment. The parent isn't going to do it because they are dependent, reliant, hyperfocused, and controlling, as their relationship with their child has benefitted them for so long. I understand feeling guilt (bUt ShE's My MoMmY) is a hell of a thing to deal with, but someday you will have to choose your own happi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 01:40 PM
21

Like, I don't get it. Literally both of them still went to a nail salon??!?!?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:04 AM
8

I clicked this post just to say that, you beat me to it 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:02 AM
6

That's exactly it, though! They count on you remaining a fool. They count on you never wising up, never learning, never questioning them. It's a bad day for them when/if you do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 11:41 PM
133

Do not forget to look at the profiles of friends and family from a dummy account you made for this purpose. You'd be surprised at what you can glean from what people post publicly. It's how I found out I was being lied to. The story I was being told didn't match up to the photographic evidence I found on someone else's post from the same day, place, and time. And like I said, other peoples' PUBLIC posts are just that... public. I never even snooped. Only god knows what I would've found if I had.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:21 AM
17

Yes. My mom was actually the one who drilled it into my head to never depend on a man financially (despite not following this advice herself). Yet when I met my abusive ex, she exclaimed how happy she was that I had found a man who can "take care of" me. Like, what?? I was supporting myself just fine, I didn't need a man for anything. After we broke up I went on 1 date with a guy who was a clingy emotional dumpster fire and she was projecting her feelings onto me pitying him after I told her tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:46 PM
38

Waste of energy. In the time it would take me to compose one of these texts I could do something that makes me happy or something that's constructive. Men know when they're not up to par, they just go on with how they're acting in the hopes that you're stupid enough not to notice it or that your self-esteem is low enough so you'll tolerate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:12 PM
13

In a situation like this, your mental health is paramount. Protect it at all costs because your father doesn't seem to fully comprehend that you cut off your stepmother for a reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:07 PM
64

I haven't even read the whole post yet, I saved it and will come back to comment later, but PLEASE more strategy posts like this. I like science, logic, sociology, and reading about what will benefit me. Thank you thank you thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:27 AM
1

@Mods why was my comment locked?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 07:08 PM
3

I love it. I wish you and soon-to-be hubby a beautiful life together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 10:02 PM
36

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 01:05 AM
74

‼️ "go the extra mile to be super nice to strangers, acquaintances, and certain friends" This. Yes, yes, yes. So important to pay attention to. It is strategic; each gentlemanly, polite interaction with someone/you in public is a tactical move he makes now to ensure that no one believes you later. Because only he knows the extent and frequency to which he will be abusing you. To anyone else, he's the guy everyone loves and he knows exactly what to do to keep his image the way it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:24 AM
38

Thank you for this comment. My ex was much older than me yet couldn't seem to figure out how to create a life free from the influence of his parents, but mostly his mother. I was kind of embarrassed for him. And no, he was not from a culture that placed a high value on deferring to the wishes of family. If I could grow up and learn by myself how to fight tooth and nail to enforce parental boundaries and carve out my own independence, I don't see a reason why I should put up with a grown ass man …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:14 AM
38

Omg I wanna know toooooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:01 AM
47

Congrats!!! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 11:03 PM
42

If he truly is/was employed in the "medical field" he sounds kinda insecure about whatever position he holds because he feels like he needs to continue wearing work clothes off the clock to identify himself as working in said field. Second, he verbally admitted that he was jealous of your success. I've seen what I needed to see here. I think he and his insecurity are beneath you. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 03:28 AM
82

‼️The part about projection. Completely true. If something someone says makes you think "that's a little out there" or kinda over the top like delegitimizing your hard work by insinuating that your business is successful only because you engage in illegal activity, then that's because they're actually talking about themselves, not you. A normal person's first reaction to you mentioning your business is not going be to assume you're racketeering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 03:07 AM
289

Yes. I do not have the emotional capacity to put my resources into constantly evaluating a man. I'm not opposed to dating but I am not actively searching either. If a wild HVM appears, then that's super. If not, I'm good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 03:46 PM
4

💯💯💯 I also do not go out of my way to socialize with men. I literally don't see the point. If a straight man wants to "be friends" and hang out with you a lot, he does want something. And it feels great to have your ego pumped, to have him complimenting you and telling you how great and cool you are. But there comes a time when the headache men give you is no longer worth the flattery. If I want platonic friendship I will seek out another woman for that where it's safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 05:04 AM
203

This has always struck me as strange. If I love you, I will be just as in awe, lovestruck, and having heart eyes whether it's been 1 year or 10. I've never experienced this supposed loss of affection or lack of excitement in relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 01:20 AM
83

I dress well most of the time because grooming myself helps with managing my depression. Dressing well is sometimes representative of how hard I battled my sadness that morning. However, if I'm on my period, forget it lol. Men can't tell if you're sad because they're thinking about sex too much to notice, so yes, as OP said, you will be stared at/flirted with/asked out regardless of what you're wearing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 11:39 PM
5

Congrats on moving on. Good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 11:20 PM
12

YES!!! I do the same thing!!! I imagine it's directed at a man too! I listen to a lot of rap and sometimes the objectifying and disrespectful lyrics about women really get me down. I found a new song I loved and have been listening to it nonstop but the lyrics bothered me. My solution was to switch the pronouns and it makes me feel very empowered and smug lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 11:15 PM
80

Despite being avoidantly attached myself, even I was appalled. You cannot use your fear of getting hurt or letting someone in as an excuse or justification for treating someone like shit and being distant. If you're in a relationship you have to grow up and recognize/honor your own emotional needs at the same time as your partner's. Being avoidantly attached can really make an anxiously or even securely attached person feel like you don't care about them even when you do. However, I feel like th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 01:00 PM
12

Thank you for this comment. I agree. I can't with the amount of cope in that paragraph. It is, as you said, self-congratulatory, but worse. It's a woman trying to prove she's a Cool Girl and not at all bothered by her beloved staying in unnecessary, continuous, and sentimental contact with someone he used to fuck. I'm sorry, maybe my definition of loyalty is askew or I'm simply being obtuse, but that is what it is. People who can't let go of their exes act like they deserve a medal because they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 02:00 AM
59

Thank you. I'm happy as well. I learned a lot. I hadn't found FDS yet and was still trying to navigate the dating world for the first time. All the advice I found told me I was overreacting and that I didn't have a right to be upset or have boundaries. I didn't know that it was an option to end a relationship/leave if I was being disrespected. And spot-on. Yes, you are so right. From the day we broke up, to any man I spoke to after that... I no longer had weaknesses. I had no mental health strug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 11:14 PM
59

Yes. I believed him and disregarded my intuition because he said "Now p0ludnitsa, I love you, why would I do [disrespectful behavior]? It was [attempt to justify disrespect], and simply a misunderstanding." Another was "If I didn't really love you, why would I take time out of my day to do [thoughtful act/gifts #1, 2, & 3] for you? I have so much on my plate but I always do nice things to make you happy. So why would I treat you poorly?" I believed that I was ungrateful, undeserving, and unworth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 10:59 PM
199

I wholeheartedly beg anyone reading to be mindful of the comment above. My narcissist ex anticipated my needs so well that I would occasionally cry because of how thoughtful I believed he was. I had never been taken care of like that before. I was so thankful for him and told him often. It was not long before those gestures of "kindness" and "thoughtfulness" started being used against me as guilt trips, excuses, and bargaining chips. They were no longer selfless acts, only tools of manipulation …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 09:56 PM
1

I sure hope not, but knowing what I know now I wouldn't be surprised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 02:20 AM
2

I agree very much with this. Meeting his friends is crucial. The company someone keeps is very telling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:43 AM
5

I disagree, respectfully, just on the mental health being in top shape part. My mental health is not good. However, that doesn't hinder me from being open to dating because I manage my symptoms and "conditions" well enough to prevent them from becoming my partner's problem. Of course we all get concerned about the person we love, but through therapy I've learned that it is the affected individual's responsibility to get help. It is my responsibility to convey my feelings/mood, and if I need to t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:15 AM
58

I just read her response to someone's comment. She says that she and her scrote are gonna just "roll with" it. How much do you have to hate yourself to allow people (husband and ex-wife) to disrespect you, your home, and your marriage like this? I feel so sorry for her. I hope she wakes up and learns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:25 AM
33

Savior complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:17 AM
34

Fucking hell I hope they never bring a child into that situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:01 AM
173

I just imagine a divided fridge and he labels everything that's his and her side is basically empty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:59 AM
30

Sooooo many questions here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:56 AM
3

Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 12:12 AM
24

"No response is the best response." 👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 12:03 AM
24

He wanted to see if he could get to see you for the first time on some low-effort meetup for drinks. Then when you told him to basically show some respect, he backpedaled and suddenly he wants more time to get to know you when he was fine with not really knowing anything about you when it was meetng for drinks. Don't give him the honor of finding out "a bit more about" you. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 05:50 PM
70

YES YES YES. I agree. The engagement ring thing ("Finally engaged!") is horrifying and humiliating. Do these women get off on displaying how their man doesn't really love them? Then there's the gaggle of pickme friends encouraging this kind of BEGGING. It's lowly and embarrassing to womankind. I will die before I plead with a man to commit to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 04:34 PM
98

YES. I saw a post on instagram where this girl was snapping her boyfriend and she was taking pictures/talking about random things in the foreground while on her laptop screen in the background she had a mid-price ring she wanted. The last photo was of her showing off the ring on her finger and the caption was "he understood the assignment". Like, no, he didn't. If he doesn't note your jewelry tastes and you've mentioned it in speaking before and you resort to doing things like applying pressure,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 04:10 PM
21

Well, until I read your post I viewed it as flattery and admiration. The curvature of my body is something to be romanticized, sung about, sculpted, even worshiped. It made me feel so beautiful and so in tune with a healthy sense of femininity. But we've come a long way from genuine art and worshiping fertility goddesses. The female form, as you've pointed out, has been commodified and marketed to sell sex and the rigid idea of what a woman should look like. Worse still, our form has been taken …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:56 PM
24

I agree as well. On one hand I want the space to be a haven for women so naturally I want to be supportive and encouraging for those who have been abused. On the other hand, posts detailing someone's LVM saga on how they put up with endless bullshit, gaslighting, and mistreatment for years doesn't really make me feel uplifted or educated. It only makes me sad and angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:45 PM
29

Men are lonely? Cry me a fucking river. Friendship doesn't come to you, you have to build it with another person. That means going outside and touching some grass, getting hobbies, having respect for others/yourself, and not wallowing in self-pity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:33 PM
22

There seem to be three categories of men with no friends. Now I haven't met one like this, but I have to believe they're out there. He has no or few friends and is happy and well-adjusted in life. He has a job and fulfilling hobbies. There's nothing wrong with him and he's not antisocial or lacking in interpersonal skills, he just doesn't derive that much pleasure from partying. The other is an antisocial bouquet of red flags. He talks often about how he doesn't need people or hates them. He vie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:24 PM
12

Wow. I view this differently now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:06 PM
186

I HATED seeing that sentence or any of its variations. It screams "I am a lazy piece of shit and lack self-confidence because I know I'm boring as fuck"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:02 PM
11

Yes!!! Good for you. It isn't their business why you can't have children. I can't remember where I saw it but here on FDS someone said that you shouldn't lie about not being able to have kids, but I disagree. It works great because you can't argue with a doctor noting my body's inability to produce a human, whereas if I say it's a choice that I made suddenly free will is up for debate. It weeds out the men who want a broodmare, or who think that they can change my feeble, female mind or elbow me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 02:11 AM
23

Yes yes yes. My ex attempted to do this to me too for the exact same reasons. He resented me working at my well-paying job and wanted to exert control wherever he could to keep me tied to him. Like you, I didn't know what financial abuse was either, but I do now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:56 AM
28

"I want to believe that he isn't as despicable as I'm learning he is" Girl, for your own sake, assume the worst. I was in your shoes with the cognitive dissonance too. I didn't want to think that someone who said they loved me could do things to harm me on purpose. It was a reality I didn't want to accept. He seems a little vindictive. He could have texted you about the deposit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:49 AM
224

I love her!!! I was wincing, waiting for him to insult her like the little shit who got destroyed by the "I got a band for your band" woman. But no, her comments put him in an ego tailspin and he was too obsessed with trying to prove he had a 6-pack to even worry about flipping it back on her 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:34 AM
61

I don't want kids because childbirth is excruciating and I would probably have a heart attack from the pain and die. I don't want kids because they are expensive. I don't want kids because they deserve a mother who is fit to be their rock, their stability, their support. I am responsible enough to know that, in my 20s ("biological clock" ticking or not), I could not be that person for little ones who depend on me for their every need. I got a very late start in life. I don't want biological kids…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:15 AM
318

This is nightmare fuel. He wants to risk money he isn't even making. If they had his & hers bank accounts and he was doing this as a regulated side hobby with his own money, then sure. But quitting his job and playing around with money that isn't his and with a CHILD in the picture is irresponsible and reckless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:36 AM
42

Backhanded compliments are the insults of cowards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 02:25 AM
48

This is actually THE realisation that led me to finding FDS. LVM make everything a power struggle from the getgo because they're aware (way before you are, obviously) of how inadequate and inferior they are. So they need to try to dim your light, tarnish your shine, and pull you down whenever they see the opportunity because that's the only way they can get on equal footing with a HVW. They know the odds are stacked against them from the beginning and the only way they'll have a chance at leechi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 02:20 AM
10

They are insatiable. No one person is good enough for them, so they're always looking for something new.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 11:03 PM
46

They are well-versed in saying what they've learned we want to hear so we will lower our guard some time in the future. Never underestimate the patience of a man who thinks he has a chance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:32 AM
36

I really like your breakdown here. I'm of the same opinion that gaming in itself isn't a dealbreaker but IS subject to scrutiny and all the questions above. The frequency of his engagement would also be continuously evaluated to ensure that the guy isn't slipping into addiction/obsession (which is always a risk). But I do understand where those who consider gaming a dealbreaker are coming from because I feel the same way about anime. No amount of stipulations or questions could ever make me feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:24 AM
80

Thank you! It took me forever to understand this. I used to think that I was more deserving of a man because I considered myself low-maintenance. I am not wealthy but now I save and set money aside for what's important to me. I buy myself clothes that flatter me. I have a small perfume collection. I love getting my nails and hair done (and tipping well). I spend even more money on equipment for my hobbies, which contributes to my mental health. N/LVM hate when we are mentally healthy even more t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 09:13 PM
11

That's very true. The more you delve into the world of religious tradfems (which make up the majority), the less they try to hide these views because their holy texts have already laid out gender roles, thereby making them confident in their openness about keeping women confined to the home and in abusive relationships just so they don't separate what they believe God put together. They are so brainwashed and (unconsciously) self-hating that they think enduring spousal abuse is a noble thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 11:44 PM
12

I really hate that he is most known for his personal sociopolitical views because I really enjoy reading/listening to his work from when he was a professor and clinical psychologist. I disagree strongly with his views on the roles women should have and how he says that the feminine is characterized by chaos (which is an incredibly generalized statement here but if you spend more time listening to him describe facets of chaos he tends to associate negativity with chaos, though at times he does ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 10:15 PM
44

Absolutely. An insecure man cannot stand a woman who doesn't need him to survive. They will stop at nothing to manufacture some form of dependency to bandage their wounded egos, and when they can't do that things get ugly. I love the 50's aesthetic, but if any man tries to interfere with my money or my self-esteem, ✨soft & feminine✨ will NOT be on the menu.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:33 AM
5

I apologize, I misread your first comment. Yes, after you split with a narcissist, everything becomes clear. You realise what they were lying about right under your nose. I also shouldn't have used the word "friends" because narcs don't have friends in the way you or I might have them. They just have members of their fan club. I'm so glad you have reconnected with those who matter to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:12 AM
77

Yes, one of the biggest reasons being that housewives (not just the tradfem crazies) are usually financially dependent on their husbands. If he becomes abusive or treats her poorly the wife has a hell of a time trying to get away due to her inability to support herself. It can be very dangerous for a woman to become a housewife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:27 AM
54

That's what I was gonna say. I cannot imagine a man actually expending this much effort on some moral high ground principle BS 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:42 AM
4

If I've learned anything, it's if I have to write paragraphs about the person I'm with and go to the internet to ask strangers about how to deal with him... it doesn't bode well for the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:25 AM
123

🥲 this hit too close to home. But your progress in therapy gives me hope. You put that so eloquently and intelligently. I've hated myself forever, then after my trauma those levels of self-loathing reached new depths in a chasm of misery I didn't know was accessible. I turned to unsafe methods to channel this overwhelming hatred I had for myself at the core. Accepting acts of aggression (and on occasion, violence) from men disguised as me "exploring my sexuality" was simply an extension of and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:03 AM
9

I am so sorry you had to go through that horrible experience. I hope you are being kind to and taking good care of yourself. Yep. That's all they are... stories. Narcissists take the concept of a "self-fulfilling prophecy" and RUN with it, thinking that if they tell the same lies enough times that eventually it'll become a reality that other people will go along with. My ex never let me meet his friends (very clever of him) so I couldn't get conflicting info like you did, but I ended up finding …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:41 AM
21

YES!!! The excuses kill me. I don't know why they can't just be unhealthy/unattractive in silence. No, they have to be loud trying to devalue the work that other people do to better themselves. LVM can't stand to see anyone with genuine self-respect, female OR male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:16 AM
167

I agree. The cringe of this is unparalleled. I went through a brief, also cringe phase of wanting to be a "tradfem" housewife because I have a strong preference for traditionally masculine men. I soon realised that 1. I cannot provide the level of submission the LVM that you mentioned want because, even before I found FDS, the self-preservation instincts that kicked in hard to make me financially independent could not be overridden by my desire to appear helpless (read: attractive) to a man, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 11:31 PM
47

I read because I don't have Netflix and now I'm glad I can't watch this. These tropes are disgusting but they're so high in number because too many people can relate to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:18 PM
3

I LOVE seeing tall women wear heels. It radiates confidence and makes me feel more confident in myself. I once wore flat-soled shoes instead of heels to a date because he was shorter than me and I regret letting my feelings about his height dictate my footwear. I was disappointed in myself but I've learned. Rock the heels and the height!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 10:44 PM
13

First, let me say that I am so sorry for what you have endured from both family and your past partner. I wish strength and self-love for you in your healing. Also, congratulations on your admissions! I am exactly where you are in regard to location. Sometimes it's ten times more difficult to heal in the place you were broken. All those same triggers, same reminders, same scenes don't change. It's possible to work to numb yourself to them, but it'd just be so much easier if I didn't have to see t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 02:39 AM
17

I made an account just to comment on this specific post. This is exactly it. A guy can be amazing, spectacular, showstopping on paper. And he can keep the act up for as long as it takes for him to think he's "got" you. He can do everything right. He can share interests with you, shower you in gifts, pretend to care about your family, he can be kind, smart, attentive, he can future-fake you until you're joyously getting The Knot magazine delivered to your goddamn mailbox because you're just that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 03:33 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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