| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 20 | “You’re so Weird!”/“You’re quirky”I feel like there are many other (better) ways to express curiosity than calling someone "wierd." The word "wierd" can be confusing. It's not inherently positive and it can be used to single someone out and make them feel like they don't belong. I've been called "wierd," usually by men and insecure women. To me, when someone calls someone wierd, it tells more about who they are (sheltered, not open to different people) than what it says about me. When I meet someone I think is genuinely cool and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 01:56 PM |
| 1 | Why do men gain weight after getting engaged?It’s great you did your own thing. You didn’t have too worry about what other people would say. It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around it sometimes. Why do some people think their opinions matter so much? Yeah, it’s crazy! You definitely have to have some thick skin/solid boundaries. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/21 09:08 PM |
| 3 | Why do men gain weight after getting engaged?There’s a lot of pressure on brides to “look their best” (aka often their thinnest). It’s really unfortunate. Your wedding day would hopefully be a day to celebrate your partnership, but it can often be a lot of anxiety | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/21 08:48 PM |
| 10 | Why do men gain weight after getting engaged?Sounds like binge eating disorder. It could be a manifestation of a mental illness. In that case, they should seek out help from a professional. I know I’ve dealt with BED and it can be a pretty vicious cycle. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/21 08:45 PM |
| 26 | Are all adults just getting dumber?Yeah, I agree. Every generation says the same thing, but it just depends on how you look at it a lot of the time. Looking down on people for their humor and basing their intelligence from it doesn’t make sense. You can make silly jokes and talk about “non-deep” topics at a gathering and still be smart. It just depends on the context. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 07:45 PM |
| 5 | I just saw the movie Mother! I hated every second.I thought it was a great movie. Like people have said here, it's more of an allegory than a literal depiction of an abusive relationship between a man and a woman. Although it also depicts that. I think the message of the movie doesn't support the abusive relationship shiwn | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 09:15 AM |
| 2 | For all the ladies who feel lonely sometimes...I can relate to this so much! Whenever I feel lonely as a single lady it's usually because I don't have enough close friendships, not because of a lack of romantic relationship. I learned that relationships can seem like an easy-fix to loneliness, but it doesn't usually last long. Unless you're in a really good relationship, they are usually draining and emotionally exhausting, in my experience. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/21 01:31 PM |
| 18 | Free Solo - Movies with a FDS LensNot low-value, depends on the person. Lots of HV women also do van-life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/21 07:32 AM |
| 14 | Weekly FDS Check-inYeah, I usually try not to look at those post, but they're hard to avoid. I've been skimming some of the posts here and trying to filter the more negative ones. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/21 08:57 PM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Check-inYes sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/21 08:55 PM |
| 20 | Leveling up this weekI'm trying to not hyper-focus on the faults I see in my appearance (causing a lot of anxiety lately) and trying to put my energy into more productive stuff. I made a list of all the traits I like about myself to boost my confidence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/21 08:55 PM |
| 19 | Other Women distancing Themselves from Single WomenThat does make sense. Usually people with shared experiences have more in common and more to talk about. However, "being married" should not be a personality. It's good to have friends with different life experience. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/21 05:11 PM |
| 3 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 25 - Age Gaps & Old Man Peen + Old Scrote Hits NVM BingoYeah, I agree. Sometimes it slips into roasting the woman and her past choices. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/21 12:57 AM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 03:34 PM |
| 23 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InHey ladies, could use some encouragement and strength (and a place to rant). I have been dating this guy for about 6 months. Last night I found out he's planning to hang out with his ex-gf (to see her new rabbit?) when he visits his hometown. This really caught me off guard - when we first started dating she would call him in the middle of the night sometimes to get emotional support, and it made me very uncomfortable. I told him, and he agreed it was inappropriate and that he would stop talking… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 01:59 PM |
| 11 | Fully realizing just how used I was for sex: the tiny intimate thingsI'm sorry that he treated you this way. Looking back, I've had similar experiences where I felt very used by a guy. It didn't feel intimate, just felt like something they could use to get off. Made me confused at the time and destroyed me emotionally | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/20 03:47 AM |
| 9 | How do you feel about this? as a 21 year old I am so grateful for finding this sub!Agreed! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/10/20 11:59 PM |
| 6 | OLD strategy for unacceptable datesIf you're meeting off of old, it may be ideal to meet in a public place for the first date. Outdoorsy things doesn't offer the option to bail as easily if things go south. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/20 07:25 PM |
| 9 | And that’s why you have to leave these cowards at the first sign of disrespect. You’re in for a ride if you don’t.If they break up, they can't get easy access to sex and emotional labor. Some are afraid of being alone | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 12:08 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020I'm sorry that you had that experience. I guess I'm torn because he is pretty independent, lives in an apartment (with two roommates), and is very generous with me. The now is good but I don't know what it'll look like when I get a job that pays more than his. He pays for everything now and says he would support me, but that may change in the future. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 01:07 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020Can I get some encouragement to break up with a guy I'm dating? He's great except that we differ in ambition (hasn't gone to college, works in service industry, doesn't have plan for his future aside from being with me). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 09:41 PM |
| 2 | Stories of LVM revealing their true colors after years in a relationship?This is really great advice! I definitely am enjoying the relationship at the moment, and I feel like he is currently adding benefit to my life (FDS type of benefit). I understand that he could change, but I can't live in constant paranoia. If he does start showing red flags, I know I can be perfectly happy without him and will leave. I have to trust myself that I'll do what's best for me and listen to myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 04:06 AM |
| 6 | Unconventional red flagsYes! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 11:16 AM |
| 104 | NVM expects me to drive 8 hours to hang, proceeds to neg me..I agree with another poster that the last message wasn’t necessary. It’s just better to block and delete :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 10:52 AM |
| 21 | Unconventional red flagsThis is so so accurate!!! Don’t settle for anything less. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 03:12 AM |
| 8 | Just had an email alert from the sex offenders registry. Our nice, friendly, attractive new neighbor? Rapist. ALWAYS make sure you have the information to keep yourself safe, and stay aware.How you set it up to get alerts about this? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 06:08 PM |
| 13 | Unconventional red flagsTipping is really important! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 03:59 PM |
| 2 | A man who is interested will leave no doubts in your mindAhh man my friend is experiencing this right now and it’s so hard for her. She fell really hard, but the guy has been responding less and less to her. I’ve been in her shoes and it HURTS. It hurts your ego, really. However, it’s so important to remember this and trust your intuition. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 11:55 AM |
| 13 | When a man on OLD asks what you’re looking for - don’t describe what you want so he can pretend to be that to get in your pants, SIS! Let him show you who HE is.I love your response. High quality indeed! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 11:51 AM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: August 8 2020 💜I just watched ep. 2. Totally agree. It also seems like her mom has a really big influence on her life, maybe too much to me. edit: on ep. 3 YIKES. This woman cannot have a good conversation! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/20 02:12 AM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: August 8 2020 💜Is anyone watching Indian Matchmaking on Netflix? Very interesting to watch, especially being from a different culture. Aparna is such a queen! There's definitely lots of standard-shaming from the matchmaker. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 08:55 PM |
| 3 | Ladies, I just wanted to share my recent victory.Queen 👸 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 07:22 PM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: August 8 2020 💜I usually wear something that makes me feel good and comfortable. For me, that looks more casual than a dress, heels, and full makeup. It's true when you feel good, you tend to radiate that energy. Also, if the 1st date doesn't go well, it's not as upsetting because you don't spend as much time and energy getting ready. At the end of the day, if a guy doesn't want a 2nd date because of what I'm wearing, he's not for me. Most important, I think, is how you make him feel and how he makes you feel! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 03:40 PM |
| 3 | Found a HVM but after 10 months of dating I'm starting to be more and more suspicious.It sounds like he has a lot to work on, particularly his self-esteem and people-pleasing tendencies. I was with a guy like this, and he would make sly passive-aggressive towards me while maintaining a very kind and caring facade. I didn't know about FDS back then, so I let it eat away at my self-esteem and believed that if I just "tried" harder, he would love me. One give was the dynamic he had with his friends. His friends would take advantage of him and disrespect him, while he just kind-of to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 03:34 PM |
| 5 | Is it just me, or is most couples' advice from therapists/psychologists/counselors just goddamn AWFUL for women??Thank you for pointing this out! It's so common for therapists to give "benefit of the doubt" to men, when they don't deserve it! I remember I went to a counselor in tears and she explained I just need to "communicate" about how I wanted to be treated in my relationship. Communication is important, I agree, but it's so easy to stay in a relationship where the other doesn't care or doesn't actually love you with this advice. It also places a lot of pressure on the woman to "work" with the dude wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 03:09 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 30 2020Yup, totally agree! Unfortunately, the review system they have for hosts is really not transparent. Hosts can choose not to show poor reviews. The host I'm with now has a five star rating, actually (even though many people have left early from what he's told me). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 10:34 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 30 2020https://www.workaway.info/ A lot of people do it :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 10:27 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 30 2020Will do! I'm glad my worries are valid. It's difficult to judge whether I'm over-reacting or not because there were 4 girls before me that were leaving as I came and they seemed to have a great time. However, I guess I have to trust my gut on this one. :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 08:10 PM |
| 11 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 30 2020I’m currently working on a farm using Workaway (you work about 25 hours / week for food and board). My gut has been giving me back vibes about the host, who’s a man in his 50s. I’m been here about a week and was planning to stay for another 1.5 weeks. Two girls are leaving soon and I don’t want to be alone with this man. I know he wouldn’t hurt me, but he’s recently made a comment about “how beautiful my eyes were” and a lot of the stories he tells me are extremely explicit. I feel like I have t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 12:18 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 23 2020Im sorry to hear that! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/20 02:30 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 23 2020TLC? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/20 01:18 AM |
| 11 | 😊This is my weakness! I've always given is relationships (friendships and romantic), but that's really not the way. I've found that giving in female friendships is great, but with men it's a different dynamic. I have to resist the impulse to give, but instead wait and accept. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 05:38 PM |
| 19 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 23 2020I've noticed a pattern that a few days before my periods, I start feeling anxious, and I see more things wrong with my partner. This usually goes away once my period starts. Does anyone experience this and can relate? Sometimes it's hard to differentiate whether these are my "actual feelings" or whether my hormones make me feel more antsy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 05:27 PM |
| 15 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Sounds scummy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 12:17 PM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Red flag! Sorry girl :/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 12:16 PM |
| 37 | Have you ever ended a relationship because you realized his Dreamgirl wasn’t you—it was an ex or one of his friends?Yes. Broken men are the worst. They have no problem taking your love and attention and not return it (or even worse faking it) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/20 08:37 AM |
| 2 | Amen! Anyone else got any similar stories?Yup. My first boyfriend was exactly like that. Back-handed compliments about my weight, face, makeup, dress, anything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 11:38 AM |
| 21 | Sometimes we need a reminder!Intimacy, self-worth, and hobbies that interested and took up my time | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 12:44 PM |
| 2 | 8 years on a person like this? Girl, you better run now!This sounds fake. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/20 12:55 AM |
| 101 | So proud of women for not settling for less!That’s probably why a lot of guys play the role of the bf but actually have no intentions of committing. The danger lies when they get a woman emotionally attached and begin to string her along. I think that FDS teaches us how to not get in these situationships. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/20 11:37 AM |
| 2 | Many of you girls decided you’re fine with being single forever. But how do you feel fine with never having a family / biological kids?I don’t want kids. I think friendships are important, and hopefully I can find my family in them :) Kids are not guaranteed to spend time with you as you age. They may move, get busy, or just not care enough. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/20 01:09 PM |
| 3 | Woman is amazed and horrified at how many men “stealth” or try to slip inside without a condom during casual sex. This is what happens when you don’t tell women the truth about the unequal risks and abhorrent behavior of men during hookups.I’m sorry that you experienced that. It sounds like it wasn’t consensual.... :( | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/20 12:59 PM |
| 11 | Woman is amazed and horrified at how many men “stealth” or try to slip inside without a condom during casual sex. This is what happens when you don’t tell women the truth about the unequal risks and abhorrent behavior of men during hookups.this is exact wording my ex use Im dying | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/20 12:55 PM |
| 4 | I had a breakthrough. I was in a bad place when I embarked on every single relationship I ever had...No exceptions.I feel like I could have written this! It really hits it point-blank. I thought I was good anytime I entered a relationship. WRONG. I enjoyed the attention and let the relationship become my life. Similarly, I eventually felt like they were holding me back. The guys were decent ( expect for one.... wait, actually two), and by “decent” I mean they didn’t abuse me outright. You’re right, being single is wonderful when you feel comfortable in it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/20 10:00 AM |
| 5 | What’s the thing about FDS that you struggle the most with ?I have trouble not fixating on the things that went wrong in my past relationship (specifically one). It always happens to me until I date someone else. I’m happy being single and have more peace-of-mind, but at times I just wish I could erase it from my memory. Not sure if this is related to FDS, but for some reason I’m afraid that only men find me attractive. I got it in my head that women don’t perceive me that way (at least romantically), so I don’t think have a chance. I’m so used to thinki… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/20 09:44 AM |
| 2 | I have yet to meet a man who is as interesting as he pretends to be. Where are the men who read and can keep up with me intellectually?Thankfully they aren't! They're both a lot happier now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 07:59 PM |
| 3 | I have yet to meet a man who is as interesting as he pretends to be. Where are the men who read and can keep up with me intellectually?That sounds about right. My dad admitted to me that he had no idea what he was doing when he married my mom in his mid-20s. He said he didn't really think about their compatibility, but married her because he found her attractive so why not? They had a very unhappy marriage, especially for my mom because she was stuck doing all the work with the kids and emotional labor, in addition to her full-time job; yet, he still expected her to do all the cooking and cleaning. It's sad but I don't think my… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 01:14 PM |
| 8 | some men need to learn thisHonestly, he sounds like an entitled as*shole. I think (and really hope!) most guys aren't always looking for stick thin women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 01:11 PM |
| 7 | I cannot get over how disrespectful Justin Bieber is to his wife “Listen to me woman.”Bleh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 02:32 AM |
| 33 | The idea that hetero couples watching porn together is a “fun’n’sexy” bonding activity which demarcates the woman as a body-confident and self-assured ‘cool girlfriend,’ is so revolting.I cringe. I guess that's a good sign that I've grown. I used to do this. Never again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 02:27 AM |
| 3 | I have yet to meet a man who is as interesting as he pretends to be. Where are the men who read and can keep up with me intellectually?What do you think is the average age this happens for men? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 02:24 AM |
| 3 | I have yet to meet a man who is as interesting as he pretends to be. Where are the men who read and can keep up with me intellectually?This is accurate. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/20 02:21 AM |
| 49 | some men need to learn thisyeah, it's crazy how guys will treat a girl differently. it's messed up. I've encountered plenty of guys like the ones you've described. I just want to get away from them as soon as possible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/20 09:30 PM |
| 5 | Male friends? What are your thoughts/ experiences? + little storyI thin most will develop feelings or want something more than a platonic friendship, even if they don't intend to as first. One male friend revealed he would consider something romantic with two of his seemingly platonic female friends. He outright admitted he found them attractive and would sleep with them, but didn't have the opportunity. This was while he was still with his ex who he labelled as "crazy." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/20 04:33 PM |
| 9 | Beware the onslaught of LVM we are about to encounterWhen I go out, I feel so gross at the way some guys look at me. It's the glazed over look. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/20 03:42 PM |
| 10 | PSA: Breakups hurt but the alternative is worseIt's kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. My ex said that we ran out of things to talk about, when in reality he couldn't keep a conversation with me, no matter how much I tried to engage. It made me angry how he phrased it as "our" problem, when in reality he just wasn't interested in what I had to say and couldn't follow up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/20 03:27 PM |
| 5 | Woman gives up on dating because she can’t find a man to meet her standards. Cue the scrotes telling her to lower her standards!I always thought that having a partner would give me a steady source of support in difficult times. I've found that I'm actually less satisfied in relationships because I expected a level of support and empathy they couldn't provide (something my close female friends easily could). I was told again and again that I need to "cOmmUNicate" my needs to him very specifically and give them a manual about how to care for me. Taking care of that emotional need on top of my own is exhausting and somethin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/20 04:37 AM |
| 2 | Why do people look down on failed relationships?YES!!! A million times YES!! Celebrate it! That is a HUGE victory, especially when the messages we get from people around us are the complete opposite. There's a narrative that relationship = bliss/happiness. This couldn't be further from the truth. You can and hopefully happy without a boyfriend/girlfriend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/20 04:28 AM |
| 23 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 5/13/2020Having something to care for really helps during the lonely times in quarantine. I can't adopt a dog or cat, but I started making a sourdough starter and it's honestly so therapeutic "feeding" it and watching it grow. lmao. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/20 07:11 PM |
| 3 | A small group of mods control 92 of the top 500 subreddits, including r/TwoXChromosomes and r/Relationship_Advice. More proof that if you don’t outright ban men on your sub, they’ll infiltrate your ranks and skew the conversation entirely to their favor.Yeah, it's a lot of denial. I guess people will generally do anything to protect their world-views, no matter how skewed it is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/20 07:02 PM |
| 3 | A small group of mods control 92 of the top 500 subreddits, including r/TwoXChromosomes and r/Relationship_Advice. More proof that if you don’t outright ban men on your sub, they’ll infiltrate your ranks and skew the conversation entirely to their favor.It's sometimes scary because people's real-life persona may be completely different than what they post on reddit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/20 06:56 PM |
| 26 | Why is feminist media so invested in pressuring women into "maintenance sex"? Why, in the era of #MeToo, are we still being told to ignore our internal warning systems and engage in sex we don't want for the sole benefit of men? How about we pressure men into being more fuckable so it's not a chore?I remember reading at a very impressionable and naive age how women should have s*x with their partner, even if they're not feeling it (like it was some sort of duty). Really influenced a lot of my relationships in horrible ways. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/20 06:52 PM |
| 6 | This isn't a meme it's real lifeExactly. I wouldn't trust most people to give me good relationship advice. I know one girlfriend in real life whose advice I trust 100%. Other people (even other friends), I have to take with a grain of salt. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/20 06:48 PM |
| 1 | Yeah 😕I have the copper IUD and I’ve only had it for about 2 months. This is the first birth control (aside from condoms) I’ve used. I think I’m a bit different from most people that get it because my periods were already pretty heavy (Only first two days) and sometimes very painful. I decided on a non-hormonal options because I was scared of the side effects of hormones from the horror stories. The insertion was painful and it took me about 2 weeks to not feel these awful / sharp uterus cramps (feels… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/05/20 12:06 AM |
| 13 | Why can't a guy just admit he doesn't like you?Exactly | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/20 02:33 AM |
| 12 | In your experience, have most guys just been interested in your looks?The media, movies / tv shows written by men try to make them mutually exclusive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/20 03:14 PM |
| 3 | What was the weirdest thing that led you to realize you were dating an LVM? Or amusing final straw caused you to dump an LVM?Ew. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/20 11:12 PM |
| 6 | What was the weirdest thing that led you to realize you were dating an LVM? Or amusing final straw caused you to dump an LVM?He told me he wasn’t good at showing affection and suggested telling him what he should do so I could feel like he cared. Lots of sorry s from him for nothing and emotional labor from me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/20 11:11 PM |
| 3 | are these doubts normal?I felt like I dated this sort of guy and fell into this similar dynamic. I felt alone and unnoticed, as though he was just going along with it because....? I think it was in large part a personality and maturity mismatch. He was a great person on many levels, but we never connected on any emotional level. Similarly, I noticed I had to take the next steps in the relationship. At first, it felt safe because I felt in control, then I realized how one-sided the relationship was. He was also pretty s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/20 10:55 PM |
| 3 | Getting over the breakup improved my skinYou look lovely! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/20 07:24 PM |
| 36 | User on r/AskWomen asks women if they were ever expected to perform acts shown in porn. Unsurprisingly, the comments are full of sexual abuse stories.Why are men responding when it’s literally called “askwomen”?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/20 06:23 PM |
| 8 | "So I'm like... what's the point? He doesn't cook, he doesn't clean, he doesn't provide money for you, obviously he's not providing emotional support 'cause he's bouncing all over the place. What good is he?!"I love Cindy!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/20 01:24 PM |
| 7 | Dodge the red flags!Yeah, I would just block and not explained why. I think that’s the general advice on this sub (to not entertain them) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/20 01:23 PM |
| 31 | If he left that easily, he was never worth keepingI hope she will heal and will be better off without him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/20 01:21 PM |
| 8 | Are HVM even worth it tho?This is also my dream!! Can we do this?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/20 12:21 AM |
| 5 | Thinking about being in a relationship rn is revolting. Anyone relate?I’m a similar age and yeah, it’s bittersweet. I guess it’s better to realize this early on than later! All the time we’ll save by not entertainment these dudes can be used to make our lives fulfilling. For me, it’s stopped me from from seeking the easy (but ultimately empty) “promises” of romantic love. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/20 06:12 PM |
| 10 | Thinking about being in a relationship rn is revolting. Anyone relate?Isn’t it crazy how many of us share the same experience dating? And the mainstream will gas us up to believe otherwise. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/20 12:51 PM |
| 12 | White Knight in a shining armor won't come to heal and save you. He never will. You should become your own saviour, your own hero.The white knight mindset keeps you searching and worst of all desperate for a man. You need to rely on not only yourself but your surrounding support network that includes friends, family, coworkers, a therapist, etc. You don’t have to do everything on your own. Asking for help from others takes courage and is a sign of strength. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/20 11:48 AM |
| 53 | Thinking about being in a relationship rn is revolting. Anyone relate?The expectations placed on women are huge and so burdensome, agreed. Men get off free in situations where women would be scorched. There has to be more accountability, not just by women, but also by men in our society. Growing up, we’re taught to be caring and empathetic to everyone, often at the expense of themselves and their safety. I’ve met too many women who feel guilty for taking care of themselves first over other people. They feel selfish or scared of coming off as rude, whereas a guy wo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/20 04:29 AM |
| 4 | Are you ever disappointed when a prospect shows he’s LV?Yes, I sometimes get invested too early and am disappointed. However, it’s gotten better with time and experience, | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/20 03:29 AM |
| 5 | #FactThat’s awesome!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/20 03:28 AM |
| 26 | Despite what modern media tells you, your boyfriend or husband should not be your best friendI don’t know. I feel like it depends on the person, but I’m interested to hear more about what you have to say. From my experience, I’ve never considered any bf my “best friend.” My best friends were always women, that’s just how it happened. I think best friends have lived a similar experience (being a women) that men can’t understand. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/20 10:11 AM |
| 36 | I’m crying y’allI don't think it's right to use people with disabilities as an insult, although I agree with the sentiment. I think most face enough discrimination. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/20 04:03 PM |
| 12 | You can admit you miss and care for a LVM ex, that is okay, but don't let it fuck your shit up.Exactly. I've tried to pretend I don't care, but that's not the kind of person I am. When I care about someone, it's genuine. I don't know how some people do it, but for me it takes at least 2x the length of the relationship to be completely free of any thought of them. This post is what a lot of people need to hear. The world isn't black-and-white and so aren't people. But there are people that will give you what you need/want and those that can't. That doesn't necessarily make the other a terr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/20 06:23 PM |
| 7 | RPW pickmeisha agrees to “open situationship” with BF where he can fuck others and she can’t. This is bold, unadulterated male bullshit on full display. LADIES, THIS IS A DAILY REMINDER TO TAKE ZERO SHIT FROM MEN!This is so hard to read. It seems like she has really low self-esteem. I hope she is able to figure out that she deserves better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/20 09:58 PM |
| 3 | Just because men wanna fuck you doesn’t mean they like you. Don’t be gullible.same. When I moved hs, I jumped at the first person to give me attention. We take it as a compliment, if we don’t know better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/20 10:32 AM |
| 6 | Treat me like a humanI don’t have much to add, but just wanted to say I’m so sorry that happened to you. You’re very strong. I really hope he rots. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/20 12:25 PM |
| 5 | Ladies, start reciprocating what men give to youThis! When you reciprocate what they give to you, you waste less energy, you’re less likely to use the relationship as a distraction, and you can see more clearly where you stand with them. I always felt pressure to be the “great” girlfriend. But that meant much of my precious time and emotional energy went into making them happy. You don’t have to hate men (because that also takes energy to do 😂), but like someone said here, you put yourself as #1 priority. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/20 12:21 PM |
| 6 | Just broke up with my boyfriendSame boat, you’re not alone. The guy I was with was not a LVM, but we just weren’t right for one another. It wasnt easy, but I knew it was the right decision. Now about 4 months down the line, I 100% feel much better now than when I was in the relationship. Make sure you’re not too hard on yourself if you miss him - it’s normal. Just try to see your thoughts surrounding that relationship and not feed them. For me, it was like picking a scab. You have to leave it alone to let it heal ❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/20 12:15 PM |
| 3 | Don’t let this be you, sis.This hits every part of my last relationship. I have doubts about my judgement from time to time, but yeah... can't unsee. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/20 02:47 AM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered April 12 2020I think the best way to help him is to leave him alone. Some people have to learn that they need to help themselves. If he has you, he knows he can always rely on you and use you. It’s also not your responsibility to take care of you ex. Do you think he’d do the same for you...? In any case, it’s not emotionally healthy to be emotionally tied to him. It’s time to let him go and make feel the consequences of his actions. You’re not his mom. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 09:09 AM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered April 12 2020Same. I was parked at a bike trail and his dude tried to hit on me while I was getting my bike out of my car. He was 3 feet away from me and it was difficult for me to move away as I was unloading my bike. I could feel my skin crawl as he just stared at me. Tried to talk to me but I literally pretended he didn’t exist. He stared at me some more, then left. Why | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 09:05 AM |
| 2 | The Case of Avoiding Dating vs. GrowingYou’re an amazing writer! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 12:13 PM |
| 11 | Avoiding me?It’s not the most pleasant thing to go through. Reading the comments on this post, some of them are harsh / brutally honest. But I hope you know most people here have the best intentions and have been through the same thing (many multiple times!), so they don’t want you to get hurt or waste your time. IT’s good that you’re learning this early. I know I’ve really benefited from this thread :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 12:08 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/4/2020Straight ghost / block. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 11:55 AM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/4/2020How are you going on dates in the quarantine? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 11:55 AM |
| 9 | You are not your boyfriends MUMI wouldn’t say you're spiteful. Spiteful has a negative connotation. I think you had enough self-respect and dignity to not deal with his mess. 🙂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 09:23 AM |
| 2 | Has any considered or made the decision to stop dating men for good?I really relate to this. I feel like I could've written this! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/20 07:59 PM |
| 3 | What are 5 things you love about yourself?How resilient I am. I've gone through difficult life events and came out better. I look to learn and improve myself from every experience I go through (good and bad). Therefore, I'm always growing. I genuinely care about other's well-being. Although I've learned to be more careful with who I provide emotional support to, I consider myself a great friend as a result of this quality. Driven in what I do and my future career plans. Adventurous. I love to travel and spend time outdoors. Leading to s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/04/20 09:09 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/4/2020love is blind! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/04/20 12:20 AM |
| 2 | Tiger KingAh yeah I forgot that part. Kind of came off as culty (the different "levels" of being a volunteer). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 05:35 PM |
| 3 | I Love Men: An Open LetterYeah, you definitely have to be ruthless in vetting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 03:59 PM |
| 13 | I Love Men: An Open LetterThat’s the scarcity mindset. It’s better to come from a place of abundance. :) Good men are around. If we focus on the bad, that’s all we see. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 11:28 AM |
| 1 | Missing verbal affirmations in my relationship.If he shows how much he cares about you, I’d talk to him about it and see if there’s a reason why he’s not verbal. You deserve to be told you’re beautiful /cared for!!! Don’t gas yourself up about that sis :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 03:15 AM |
| 9 | Tiger KingWhere does it show her abusing animals / other people? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 03:05 AM |
| 12 | Miss England hangs up her crown to return to work as a doctor - Reddit men do what they do best in the commentsThis is basically the only sub I go on now and reading comments on others subs I can’t help but think how corny men are. no, sorry. you’re not funny / witty. 🤭 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 03:03 AM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/4/2020Yes queen 👸 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 05:09 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/4/2020It’s hard to see clearly what the other person is doing, in this case manipulating her. Absolutely heartbreaking. I pray that she heard what you said. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 05:06 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/4/2020I was banned from there too. I’d posted in r/childfree once and was banned for that. I guess it’s one of their rules | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 05:05 PM |
| 3 | The realisation there are not enough HVM in society and some of us will likely be single forever and never marry.I live for her daily videos. Woman is keeping us FED 🙏🙏🙏 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 05:03 PM |
| 8 | Quarantine is clouding my judgement.Spot on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 05:02 PM |
| 49 | Quarantine is clouding my judgement.sounds immature. not only the friends situation, but saying that he's not good at expressing emotions. do you really want to deal with that? it's not fun | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/20 02:55 PM |
| 6 | For those of us who think finding an HVM is next to unreal. Being single forever may be a reality for some of us, but you create a high chance of finding a suitable partner with your mindset first. Align yourself with your desires. You deserve it.This is a great mindset and a good reminder for me. I was starting to get jaded with the "I'll be single forever" mindset, but this one is much more realistic and healthy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/20 10:29 PM |
| 5 | Can some of the younger ladies in here explain to me what the actual fuck is happening to the men of your generation!? Let’s have a conversation...I want to burn what I just read out of my memory. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/20 10:27 PM |
| 4 | The X chromosomes that men hate us for might be helping up in this pandemic.In addition, women are more inclined to look after their health and wellbeing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/20 02:28 PM |
| 1 | My dating history until I recognized my worth....anyone relate?It's an important realization to have. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/20 02:26 PM |
| 3 | Lets talk about famous PickmeishasI would add Emma Watson to the list! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/20 02:50 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (March 23rd 2020)His passive aggressive comment about wishing you luck on datingapps was him projection himself onto every man who uses OLD. He assumes everyone is like him. Pretty self-centered. Ugh sorry you had this experience! It looks like you learned some lessoned from it though. When someone shows you their true intentions, believe them and block. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/20 07:47 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (March 23rd 2020)Yeah, he sounds bad. I hope he's not dangerous, but please please be very careful and protect yourself. It's important to stay solid with the boundaries you've set. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/20 07:42 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (March 23rd 2020)Yeah, I had something similar happen to me. I met someone on Tinder and we had THE BEST conversations. Back and forth banter. He seemed super respectful, funny, interesting, and he asked me out to a nice restaurant. Turned out to be one of the worst dates. So icky. Dude just talked about himself the whole time and didn't put in any effort in getting to know me. He may have been on Tinder for validation. But yeah, I would continue with caution. What made it worst was that I was also very excited … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/20 07:35 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (March 23rd 2020)Will echo on giving him space. I understand how hard it is (been there...), but it's important that you keep yourself occupied so that that feeling of missing him is lessened. I would simply match his effort and never give more than he is. This can be a great opportunity to reflect on your relationship, yourself, your goals without that distraction. When I felt this way about a guy, I'd make myself busy by talking to a friend, reading a book, watching TV, working out. It doesn't necessarily have… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/20 07:30 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (March 23rd 2020)It's definitely not your job to TEACH someone empathy. Not only because it would take energy on your part (and who has time for that?), it's also the other person's responsibility to learn. You can't force someone to understand you; they have to have an inner desire and curiosity to. This video may help if he wants to actually learn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw However, I would not waste your time. It's a huge energy drain and you can be doing lots of other badass things with you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/20 07:25 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (March 23rd 2020)Does anyone else feel extremely jaded about men now? It feels like I was living in the dark for most of my life. I don't want to be angry/resentful toward people in the past, but I realized that some men took advantage of my naivety to get what they wanted. It's hard to forgive myself for not knowing and not cringe when I look back. I want to move past it but I keep circling back to it. Guess I just need some support. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/20 07:21 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (March 23rd 2020)That's a really sweet thing to say! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/20 07:14 PM |
| 6 | anybody else unable to tolerate normal relationship subs anymore?I can’t go on any relationship sub without feeling rage. It just HURTS seeing women have such low standards and not see it. I used to religiously check the r/relationships while I was in one. I gaslighted myself so much about dating that guy, I think in part because I was so brainwashed by that sub to just “communicate.” Ugh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/20 12:15 AM |
| 8 | How to make males feel weak?Apathy. Indifference. Simply ignoring them is the biggest ego blow. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/20 12:54 AM |
| 14 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered March 15th 2020Don’t do this! If you’re doing this out of boredom find something else to do. Call friends, spend time on a neglected hobby. :) you’re strong! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/20 05:45 PM |
| 6 | HelplessSomething along the lines of, "You're just so neurotic, how do you live like that?" As I was talking about self-improvement and the value of doing well in school. LMAO that guy was a joke. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 11:40 AM |
| 18 | Seen this on Facebook, so many butthurt comments "Advice on marriage written in a pamphlet by a suffragette in 1918. It is currently on display at the Pontypridd Museum in Wales, 1918"Yes | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 07:18 PM |
| 21 | Dating: when I was single amount of times a guy would 'schedule' a date but not follow up was incredible. Low effort and not worthy of a second chance.I thought this was normal? Is it a bad sign if he does that? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 01:14 PM |
| 12 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 3/7/2020Need advice on how to deal with guys that call you “innocent.” Rubs me the wrong way. It feels like negging, but I can’t put my finger on why it bothers me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/20 01:13 PM |
| 5 | Woke up this morning wanting to tell my ex about my most recent exciting news, thought I would tell yall instead!So happy for you!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 03:55 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 3/7/2020I would cut contact with him. Why do you need him in your life? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/20 12:25 PM |
| 20 | Eventually, the mask begins to slip...Yup. 3 or so months is when I realize I cannot be with this person anymore. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/20 04:36 AM |
| 10 | In one sentence, comment your best dating advice...GO!Yes 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/20 09:57 PM |
| 5 | How can I tell if my long term boyfriend is also a HVM?A simple question to ask yourself: does he ADD value to your life? Does he make it more enjoyable/easier? Not just that he’s nice. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/20 02:08 PM |
| 4 | Setting boundaries with menThis is so true... Spot on | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/20 05:15 AM |
| 16 | cAn YoU dAncE?!I don’t there’s anything wrong with a man liking sappy films. Kind of strange that you would shame him about it? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/20 12:00 PM |
| 2 | I’m someone who dislikes the whole meme era, but I do find some that I giggle at. Also, #guilty.I love a spicy meme | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/20 11:56 AM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 2/20/2020Thank u :)! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/20 11:38 AM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 2/20/2020I don’t think I have a personality type, but I am into guys with curly hair. All the men I’ve dated have had this feature. 😅 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/20 11:38 AM |
| 9 | I’m starting to worry that most HVM are off the market by their late 20sThis is a goodcpoint. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/20 04:22 AM |
| 4 | I’m starting to worry that most HVM are off the market by their late 20sThis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/20 04:22 AM |
| 18 | I’m starting to worry that most HVM are off the market by their late 20sWhatever the actual % is or statistic, it's best to operate out of a mindset of overflow. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/20 10:36 PM |
| 43 | Why is all advice about toxic males on reddit the same???Nope not at all. Guys will toot their horn about how logical they are, then lie and act in the complete opposite of what they say. I used to trust a man’s word (very naive), now I’m very careful and discriminate. I don’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 02:15 PM |
| 17 | Why is all advice about toxic males on reddit the same???Exactly | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 02:09 PM |
| 15 | No thanks 🤮This is a joke, right? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 02:28 AM |
| 5 | Reminder to always stay weary and don’t trust any guy 100%. Always look at how they treat others and their interactions with friends. Stay alert and safe Ladies 💕Im so sorry to hear that. He sounds awful. Do you have any way to get away? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/20 11:45 AM |
| 23 | BREAKING NEWS: Being single is better than being with MOST MENI think interacting with men and dating for longer periods of time are different. I agree that most men come off as decent, but I’ve found that there’s more to them than just their social personas. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 06:02 PM |
| 38 | BREAKING NEWS: Being single is better than being with MOST MENThe reactions men have to the subreddit is so telling. It reveals that on some level, they know that the system is flawed. However, instead of self-reflecting, they take it out on women with their anger and rage. They don’t want us to wake up, because otherwise they would have to change. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 05:59 PM |
| 25 | BREAKING NEWS: Being single is better than being with MOST MENI thought I was crazy too, but this community has made me realize the truth of it all. It definitely took some time and will take more time to fully live out the principles, but I’m moving in the right direction. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 05:57 PM |
| 12 | This book I’m reading has an interesting part on classic pick me behaviour. Written by a clinical psychologist.Such an important shift in mindset. When I first discovered FDS, I thought it was all about how to be aloof/mysterious so a guy will start chasing you. Although this is part of it, the more important aspect that this subreddit tries to teach is to value yourself over every guy that comes around. Attention from men can be addictive, but the way to break this toxic habit is to give yourself attention/love. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 02:20 PM |
| 28 | Also, “I want a guy who is financially stable. I don’t wanna be some guys mom ” = Gold-digger🤨Some of the guys at my school can’t even practice basic hygiene. I see many many beautiful women pass by on my way to classes, yet guys still bitch about the “ratio” and how it’s impossible for them to find a girlfriend. Maybe if you invested energy into bettering yourself instead of complaining, you’d realize that the issue isn’t women?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 02:10 PM |
| 14 | Also, “I want a guy who is financially stable. I don’t wanna be some guys mom ” = Gold-digger🤨This is such a good roast. Saved. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/20 02:09 PM |
| 12 | REMINDER: There is NO good way to ask a man outThis ✅✅✅ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 10:55 PM |
| 4 | Why Are You So Obsessed with Me Though?😆 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 02:05 PM |
| 10 | PoF is filled with LVM. Don't fall for the word salad, ladies. If you're confused, don't try to make sense of it. No response is the best response. It's hard to tell whether this guy is an idiot or trying to neg me. It reads like "hey, you're hideous, but I can see the beauty underneath"😂Lol queen!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 01:50 PM |
| 6 | THIS. Reminder for the 55 500 queens on this sub 💕I wish my friends lived this out. Obviously, I’m working on removing my own existing pickmeish behaviors, but many women in my life (And In conversations that I overhear) are still entrenched in self-defeating behaviors. Relationships make them frustrated, confused, and depressed, yet they still feel at fault when the guy treats them less than respectful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 04:24 AM |
| 32 | Ladies, Change Your Focus. FDS is NOT About Getting the Guy.Agreed! It’s one of the hardest things to practice, because it requires inner work and reflection. It’s hard, because you have to face all the things you don’t like about yourself and that you often avoid with distractions (like men lol). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 04:20 AM |
| 59 | Ladies, Change Your Focus. FDS is NOT About Getting the Guy.I have never been more happy being single in my entire life (ever since I hit teens). It’s wonderful knowing your worth and feeling fulfilled in life without another person. I definitely tried to fill a void in my life with boyfriend. Turns out I just needed to take on more interests. :p | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 04:19 AM |
| 1 | Couldn’t be me, but you do you.I’m good luv, enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPuMqsDfD6U I only heard that phrase from this song. Had no idea there was a meme! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 05:02 PM |
| 1 | Queens. Help me not relapse.If you’re feeling lusty, definitely would recommend to masturbate (without thinking about the Fuck boy of course) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 12:07 PM |
| 7 | What's up with guys who constantly complain?My last ex was like this, but a little more subtle (drove me crazy at times). He was so passive aggressive whenever I did things he found “annoying” (role his eyes, critique me, ignore me). Like another queen posted, it felt like he was trying to sabotage the relationship but didn’t have the balls to properly end it (or maybe he just enjoyed the attention/sex too much).What a wimp | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 12:01 PM |
| 2 | Couldn’t be me, but you do you.Aaron May?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 11:49 AM |
| 2 | Men's first impressions of me tend to be that I'm too nice and sweet. How can I give off queen vibes right away?Great advice! Something that I definitely need to work ob | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 11:42 AM |
| 14 | "Men don't enjoy sex" WTFThat’s so sad | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 03:28 AM |
| 11 | "Men don't enjoy sex" WTFScreaming | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 03:28 AM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: VALENTINE'S DAY 2020 EDITION 💜Im so glad you’re in a good space. He sounds like a wonderful guy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/20 03:25 AM |
| 2 | Am i the only one who cringes at r/tinder posts?Right on. It’s easy to be jaded | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 04:08 AM |
| 7 | "Does she expect you to read her mind?" Yep, next questionThe only time my ex listened was the ONE time we didn’t have sex when I stayed over. After that, he sensed something was wrong and tried to make it up with low effort dinner. Nah bruh. Next!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 11:44 AM |
| 9 | "Does she expect you to read her mind?" Yep, next questionYessssss. This thread has put to words exactly what I’ve experienced! I thought I was going crazy!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 11:43 AM |
| 5 | Has any dude that says he “speaks sarcasm” ever turned out to be HV?Exactly | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 11:39 AM |
| 8 | Has any dude that says he “speaks sarcasm” ever turned out to be HV?Yes! I had a guy tell me he liked me because not a lot of people understood his sarcasm (cringe). He turned out to be passive-aggressive towards me, winey, and overall made me feel like I was just WRONG by being in his presence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 11:37 AM |
| 10 | Do males need "male Gods" to properly function in society?As someone who has just joined a religious worship group, I think that there are both LVM and HVM in the worship group, but there seems to be more HVM in general. The men that are true believers seems more in touch with their emotions and willing to express vulnerability. I’m not sure if religious itself causes that or it just attracts those kind of men. It may be the different values they hold too. At the same time I’ve men some really unethical men who did things in the name of religion... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 11:29 AM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: VALENTINE'S DAY 2020 EDITION 💜Yes queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/20 01:33 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: VALENTINE'S DAY 2020 EDITION 💜😆😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/20 01:33 PM |
| 57 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: VALENTINE'S DAY 2020 EDITION 💜Was feeling sad about a break up a few days ago, but I had an “epiphany” recently. I asked myself, “what did this guy ADD to my life?” I could not think of a single thing. Such an obvious question, but it just made me feel so much better when I realized leaving him had increased my quality of life so much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/20 03:37 AM |
| 48 | He Never Suffocated Her With His Idea of Who He Expected Her to BeThis hits to what I've experienced recently. I respected myself enough to walk away from an ok relationship because I knew there's someone who can love me for who I am, not for who I should be. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 09:41 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Feb. 5th 2020)Thats amazing! It feels wonderful to be free, but it won’t be easy (if your experience is anything like mine). There are random moments in the day when I feel horrible, but overall it has definitely be the right decision! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 01:14 PM |
| 14 | Why are guys so obsessed with sex?This. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/20 12:41 PM |
| 10 | Male birth control pills are around the corner. How do we feel about this?100% | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 09:53 PM |
| 4 | You can't change someone: why vetting is your superpowerThis is something that I’ve been struggling with. I’m not sure if the guy I was dating was actually a LVM or just HVM but slacking. I don’t think my standards were that high in the beginning of the relationship, but after a few months I realized I needed something more from him. It’s hard for them to change their standards when you’ve already established a relationship. I guess you live and learn... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 09:44 PM |
| 28 | Friendly ReminderMentoring and volunteering is incredibly fulfilling and can fill that “void” that is often filled by children. I have nothing against having children of course, but there are lots of kids and youth that need role models, because they don’t have good parents. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 09:40 PM |
| 14 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Feb. 5th 2020)Me too! I think I’m done with dating, I just get so angry when I hear women talk about the men they’re dating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 09:33 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Feb. 5th 2020)Dude, that’s so sad. Honestly, even two months ago, I would have been like your friend. Now, I can’t even imagine selling myself that short and lowering my standards to that behavior. Next! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 09:32 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Feb. 5th 2020)I’m really sorry to hear that that’s happening to you, especially from someone you thought you could trust. It just shows his true colors, and you can now distance yourself from that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 09:30 PM |
| 1 | How to teach your love language without coming off as desperate?Thiiiiisss. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 10:34 AM |
| 9 | Book recommendation: Female Chauvinist Pig - Women and the Rise of Raunch CultureI respect that. Women should own their femininity and not cater to men’s idea of a “cool” girl. It takes self-respect to do that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 10:31 AM |
| 9 | How much do you agree with this post?I think it’s normal to not answer those deep, open ended type questions, especially on the first date. If someone does as you those type of questions, it can become uncomfortable. On the first date, I like to stay on the side of “lite” topics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 10:27 AM |
| 5 | “You can’t let a healthy hypothetical keep you attached to a toxic reality.”Louder for the people in the back ! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 10:24 AM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Feb. 5th 2020)Thank you for your support and kind words! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 05:39 PM |
| 9 | Girl who desperately needs a lecture not looking to be lectured.Stockholm syndrome. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 03:35 PM |
| 18 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Feb. 5th 2020)Feeling a little weak with regards to a recent breakup with short-term bf. I'm flipping to and from the different stages of grief. I was extremely angry one day, then accepting, and now I'm like a pickme because I considered getting back with him. The problem was that his feelings toward me varied greatly depending on his mood. At times he was like a brick wall (no emotion, nothing) and other times he was so caring/affectionate to me. It was extremely confusing and looking back my mood depended … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 03:22 PM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Feb. 5th 2020)Yes girl!! Proud of you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 03:13 PM |
| 8 | A romantic relationship is not a cure for lonelinessYeah sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/20 03:32 PM |
| 3 | Is it common for women to date men they are not attracted to?At times, I think I overhyped my attraction to them and over-looked unattractive qualities because I liked them. No more! That’s not a way to go. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/20 04:10 AM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 29th 2020)It has a lot of good points, and I’ve found it useful for myself. However, it does play into the stereotypic manly-man tropes and at times it felt like I was reading a book about how to raise an obedient child rather than have an equal partner. If anything, the book has actually made me a bit more disgusted by men’s behavior and has made me re-think dating in general. Overall, it’s made me more aware of a lot of my pickmeish behaviors. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/20 04:09 AM |
| 3 | Boyfriend changed tune and respects me more now!Yeah, same experience. Would say, hey I feel unappreciated and ignored (pickmeish behavior for sure). Lots of “sorrys,” “Im not good at expressing my feelings,” would make me dinner and then nothing changed. I can’t believe how low my standards were and how little I thought I deserved. It’s actually really relieving looking back and realizing I took myself out of that relationship of my own instinct. Even though my family and friends were shocked, you gotta do what’s best for you boo. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/20 03:36 AM |
| 10 | Just because you think you're dating a HVM, it doesn't mean he's "the One"; Don't get desperate if you suspect he's losing interest.Post saved! Very helpful advice! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/20 02:54 AM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 29th 2020)100%! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/20 12:49 PM |
| 38 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 29th 2020)I’ve been reading “why men love bitches” and this quotes really stood out to me, want to share: “ If there are two eggs in a frying pan, she’ll [the nice girl] take the broken yolk for herself. If she bakes two cookies and one breaks, she’ll keep the broken one and give him the good cookie. The nice girl has no idea why overcompensating backfires when it’s done day-in and day-out. She doesn’t realize that she becomes so involved in him that she loses herself, and in the process, she risks losing… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/20 04:09 AM |
| 120 | What a high value male looks like in everyday lifeIt was so difficult to realize that when someone really loves you, they will do whatever it takes to make you happy. Remember the small things, make little gifts, make you feel special. I've heard the excuse that some guys are bad at remembering dates/small details, planning dates, every excuse... In reality, a guy will put in the effort if he thinks he's found someone he wants to keep. This sub has helped me wrap my brain around that idea. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/20 10:18 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)Yes, friendship breakups can be very painful, but they can also be very beautiful. It has helped me to prioritize friendships, especially female ones, even if I have some distrust from previous hurts. Some of the best compassion and love I've gotten has been from my besties. Although there's a chance they may hurt you, they're still important to our sense-of-self. The quality of the friend really does matter, though, so I would be a bit picky here too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/20 04:29 PM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)Same! I'm glad to here that! You desevre it. I love being able to have the mental clarity to really focus on myself and not another person's happiness. Although one thing I struggle with is not reverting back to "pickme" behaviors when I notice is guy is interested in me. I need to remind myself to let them pursue me and be very picky. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/20 04:25 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)I'm so happy for you! That sounds wonderful. These men do exist! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/20 04:22 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)Girl, I feel this so hard. I made the same mistakes. I was too nice and he just got used to it. He made some mistakes which raised some red flags, but I ignored them. I had thought that his lack of pursuing was because he didn't feel appreciated enough, when in reality I was putting in WAAAY too much of myself for nothing. I let myself fall for him too quickly and lost control. I ended up breaking up with him, because I felt like I needed to sort out whatever patterns I had (and also he didn't d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/20 04:20 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)I would avoid going into detail about your past relationships, trauma, hurts, worries, anything like that... I would maybe focus on what you do for fun, hobbies, interests, work... I think you'll be able to evaluate whether he's LV or HV based on how he treats others, how he views his place in the world, his connection to his friends/family. In the handbook, it mentions how most of the evaluation comes from not what he's saying DIRECTLY, but from what he's implying about his character from the w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/20 04:15 PM |
| 13 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)So it's been over a week since I've been single and honestly I haven't been this confidence and happy in awhile! I didn't realize how much mental energy I spent trying to justify his indifference towards me. I also realized how much time I spent playing the "nice girl" trope, which let him not try as hard in the relationship. I've started focusing again on doing the things that make me happy, dressing up more, and taking care of myself. Making myself the priority! I'm so happy I stumbled upon th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/20 02:37 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)Oh! I'm so happy for you, girl! This is wonderful. It seems like you guys have great chemistry and are developing a healthy/fulfilling relationship. Best wishes that he keeps treating you this way :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/20 02:31 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)Yeah, I'm pretty hesitant as well about dating right now. I feel like I fall for a guy waaaay too easily at this point, so I'm trying to be careful and mindful about guys. I decided to take some time off from dating and focus on making myself the priority. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/20 02:28 PM |
| 17 | How not to be the starter girlfriend?This is so true, the “don’t fall for potential” really resonates with me. I made the mistake of doing all the chasing in my last relationship (thought it would empower me lol). Ended up dating a guy who was indifferent. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/20 11:50 AM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)It sounds like he's excited to talk to you. Glad to hear that he's treating you the way you deserve and (seems) to be listening to your requests. I would definitely feel it out and trust your gut if it seems off or clingy! You know yourself best! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/20 04:55 AM |
| 2 | Had to end things with another man today. So, I'm still single and that's OK!That’s amazing!! I admire your strength! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 11:00 AM |
| 5 | With men, you must be prepared to walk away the *first* time they fuck upIncredible true!!! Preach sis 😛 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 10:53 AM |
| 4 | What FOO (family of origin) issue created your current and/or former pickmeisha behavior?I’m so sorry to hear about your childhood. It sounds very rough and lonely. I’m glad you’ve found a piece a happiness in your life! Dogs are wonderful, aren’t they? Best wishes | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 02:31 AM |
| 7 | What FOO (family of origin) issue created your current and/or former pickmeisha behavior?I’ve had a similar experience. I feel like after my first horrible romantic experience, I’ve become much more deliberate in who I choose to date. However, I haven’t been able to stay with anyone long-term (more than 4 months). I think seeing how unhappy my parents were together I learned that if two people aren’t right for each other, it’s best to leave to avoid further hurt (on both sides...) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 02:29 AM |
| 8 | What FOO (family of origin) issue created your current and/or former pickmeisha behavior?Yes! This is so spot on. At some point I became a people-pleaser, to my own detriment. High school was a MESS. I honestly believed that I had no value to anyone, as messed up as it was. But it’s such a common thing to think, it becomes so ingrained... I’m glad I’ve slowly grown out of that mentality. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/20 02:24 AM |
| 4 | The “Hinge” dating and relationships app (among others) is bullshit.This is GREAT advice! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 04:26 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)This is so true! I feel like what I did was an act of self-respect. Whenever I look at myself, I can't help feeling in love! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 04:13 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)Thank you, I appreciate your kind words! I look back at how much attention I gave him and how much I chased him and feel so silly. There were signs, but I guess when you really like someone it's difficult to think clearly. It's a lesson I'm glad I learned now :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 04:12 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)Thank you so much! At times, I did compare the way he would talk about her and the way he would talk about me. It was obvious that he still wasn't over the breakup and idealized her in some ways. It's definitely difficult to not do at times, especially when you feel vulnerable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 04:11 PM |
| 43 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)About I week ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 ish months. He wasn't abusive, but I felt unappreciated and like I was putting in so much effort with little enthusiasm from him. It turned out that he wasn't really over his ex and he wasn't sure how he felt about me (he didn't dislike me but couldn't list any other qualities he liked about me other than "kind") Although the relationship wasn't bad (I have a lot of good memories), it felt like I was overcompensating for his lack of effort a lo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 04:00 AM |
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