TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

peachpy54 Archive

View 2 posts and 371 comments by peachpy54 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
26

Exactly... there are so many men willing to take me out (not that they're necessarily high quality), that you better put at least a bit of capital on the table to cut through the competition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:26 AM
45

Yup, totally aligned that Piers is just inventing stuff for his narrative!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:55 PM
188

This is proof-positive that a woman should NEVER take drink dates. Even if, and maybe ESPECIALLY if they have Piers Morgan's type of net worth ($15M+) And further, if she had stayed on that date out of a sense of kindness, then she might've missed her chance to meet the current man of her life. The one that's willing to move heaven, earth, and The Monarchy for their shared life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:28 PM
8

And the chances that he'll release her back to sea so she can find a better match? Zero percent chance. Literally zero. He doesn't give a shit about her, whether she's happy, or her inner world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 04:05 AM
1

I think this is why FDS advocates not assuming anyone is "exclusive" (either you to him, or him to you) until literally marriage, if you are marriage-minded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 12:52 AM
1

Wow, that is sooo scary. And it's by the strangest happenstance that you were given a warning. Think of how many women are too scared (since they're not out of the country), or just killed, and then they can't tell anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:04 AM
5

WOW, thank you for this analogy. It's perfect! That's why I get so many "looky-loos" and yet I'm only interested in a relatively small proportion!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 10:55 PM
12

When it comes down to it, it's easier to switch out the person in your life with someone else, than to change the mind of any one person in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 10:47 PM
3

Yes. A person can't grow personally/financially/emotionally, if another person is is standing on top of them to get a better view.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 12:02 AM
2

Eighty percent of young men go and below twenty percent of young women go. You seem to have had a positive personal experience but those proportions tell you which gender feels more open to exploring the world, in the Mormon social paradigm . And I never said you didn't know your own religion, feel free to reread my comment. That allegation is not there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:37 AM
2

What area do you live in that $50 will cover it?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:35 AM
2

UUugh men don't want to live with other men because.... MEN are terrible to live with! They know their own kind better than we do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 02:06 AM
3

Yes! They are almost always Pickmes. Like what -- you couldn't stand for this thumb-nail-sized photo to just be your own private space? You need the entire world to know that you have a BoYfrieENd! Plus, you look at the guy's photo? And it's always just him, solo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 01:44 AM
2

For what it's worth, the post didn't say anything about polygamy. Mainstream Mormonism still do say that young men should go abroad on mission. But the women should stay home. Of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 01:30 AM
2

Yup, every time I think about how maybe I can tweak a FDS principle thiiiiis much for thiiiiis guy. It ends up backfiring on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 12:49 AM
7

Yes, I do think both parties are wrong if you're Fake-Familying (my new term instead of Future Faking) for years, unless both want it that way. It's low caliber on both parties. I mean, for the women, I understand why they stay. They always think that they need to find the exact combination of words to convince him. The careful, careful looking at his facial expression during these talks, to see if you can figure him out, because his words about how "he loves you and wants to, but just not right…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 12:42 AM
8

In the end, if you are a man's de-facto wife by living with him, but he does not happily and without-pressure propose to you within a year? He DOES NOT SEE YOU AS FAMILY. You are not his family at that moment, and probably never will be. You're just a roommate that also cooks for him / shops for him /sleeps with him / cleans for him / listens to him / reminds him of his appointment. So much, much better than a roommate! And he's also keeping other men out of the picture, so he has you on the hoo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 12:28 AM
2

Ask a man if he knows how long Best Buy will still accept returned items (aka the temporary trial period)? He will know TO THE DAY. Ask him how long the "temporary trial period" should be for being GF / living together before marriage? uhhh..... 4 years... until I get my financial issues in order....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 12:26 AM
6

It's amazing how insecure men are, that they have to compete with a DOG. I mean, you invited this helpless animal into your life, and then now you're competing with it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 11:53 PM
14

Yup, they don't mind spending money if it's clearly for a PRODUCT. That's why they don't want to spend money on a woman who has financial agency over her life. Because she'll never be a product.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 11:36 PM
26

So is his opposite-but-just-as-bad -- the "financially ambitious so he uses you to help pay bills but will never marry you" guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:27 AM
7

It's why you should NEVER move in before engagement (with date set). If the guy says it's a precursor to marriage, he's just playin' ya.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:23 AM
18

It comes down to: Why the heck WOULDN'T someone take the wife experience, if it were offered? If it conveniently delays talks of "When are we getting married"? If YOU could have a roommate that shared rent, that cooked for you, that did more than 50% of cleaning, that was obligated to listen to you (emotional labor), someone reliable to sleep with (no need to go chasing for it, no STDs) who WOULDN'T want a wife? Heck, I'd want a wife!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 01:25 AM
4

Men want the most convenient companionship they can find. They also have crazy inertia. They will stay in a relationship, totally mentality checked out, for years. As long as the woman lets the guy put his peepee in her peepee once in a while, he'll stay. He might not like her, truly doesnt even matter. As long as the legs open once in a while, and it's no incremental effort or cash spent, he'll stay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 01:58 AM
1

Sis, he's got a girlfriend that he never brings up precisely so he can have these sorts of interactions with you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 06:55 AM
2

The frickin sound of her stilettos clip-clopping on the slick Target floor. That's the sound of defeat even if you "win" his commitment. Just... I mean, I can simultaneously say: I completely do and do not understand her. Men really can do this to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 06:11 AM
1

Oh man, it's not been fun necessarily. But thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 12:06 AM
3

Ughhh yes, all well considered points. I'm surprised I'm not more immune to this BS, but I guess I wasn't. People surprise you. Your own reactions can surprise you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:54 PM
0

If you can't see important nuances of difference between everyone else's critical analysis and yours? Can't help reading comprehension issues, really can't. Good luck dude
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:01 PM
5

Dude where on earth did you read that I WANT him to leave his GF for me? If I unequivocally liked him, would I go through the professional risk of telling my manager to start case-building against him? Does it seem normal to case build against your wannabe future boyfriend? Your reading comprehension is way different than everyone else's. Either everyone else is wrong or you didn't get the gestalt of what I wrote. Good luck to you, with whatever is causing/animating your particular interpretatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:47 AM
2

Those are very well-considered points
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:40 AM
3

You seem to really want to label me, and then blame me for labeling another woman. Whoever the GF is, I'm here listening to other people's good faith analysis of my own biases and subconscious investment into the situation. I DON'T think you're approaching me in a good faith way at all, and you probably already know it. This is supposed to be an empathetic community. And whoever his GF is, she's not here, I'm here. I'm willing to listen to others and am immediately admitting my own blind spots. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 11:55 PM
65

That's a great point. Um, no, literally no other person has made me feel depersonalized like that. I didn't even realize that was what I was feeling. But you're right, I felt completely out-of-body, like a 2D picture he was devouring, instead of a person with my own agency. Which I didn't pin as "depersonalization," but now that you mention -- it definitely was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 01:27 PM
31

Yeah, I'm sure you're right. Honestly, I didn't see her situation like this until people called me out on my own biases. I just thought she was...like... sad? Unenlightened? Honestly, Good Guy Phil and his best friend (and I dated the best friend, so I was privvy to their bro-conversations about the GF) painted a picture of this woman that I adopted. You're right, she probably has no idea what her reality is with him. Heck, if I am confused constantly by this guy, and I have to deal with him jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 01:24 PM
32

Maybe I did fall for something, here? If so, scary that he's that good, because I really didn't see it coming, and wouldn't if others didn't point it out. Shows how valuable it is to open up with others, I guess. If nothing else, me and this guy started as friends and with a mentoring relationship. He did use that original affection I had (and may still residually have), to mess with my brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 01:04 PM
87

Yes, you're right. I think I've already gotten into some trouble (I let him turn a work-environment I loved into a work-environment I now hate). Now all I can do is to prevent even more damage. Thanks for your good advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:41 PM
76

Thank you -- these seem like really great resources. Honestly, I did not think I was being groomed at all, or that he was a sociopath. But, I'm beginning to see that I probably was, and that he probably is. Thanks for giving me some insight to protect myself. It's bewildering to see how someone else re-painted my own reality. I'm starting to see it, and it's a little dizzying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:39 PM
39

Thanks, I've already told my manager, in case I do need to "file a case." I asked my manager not to say anything to HR, but I did tell her the emotional distress it's caused me. She emailed me a list of emotional support options through our Employee Assistance Program (EAP), without explicitly mentioning this guy. I think that counts as "case building" if I needed it, and I know my manager would corroborate with HR the discussion that prompted the email about EAP. Thanks for your encouraging wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:34 PM
39

That's actually a very excellent point, thanks for pointing this out. Relatively speaking, 0 kids with this guy is better than any number above 0, even if she desperately wants kids with him. She doesn't know it, but this is the more favorable timeline.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:27 PM
5

I gotta say, your response is funny! I mean, it'd be funny in a sitcom-y way but... somehow, I think I'd just end up crying. A lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:15 PM
22

Oh man.... the only people that know this level of detail are me and his best friend (his best friend and I dated... that's how I know all the info about Good Guy Phil's relationship is true regarding his GF's age, continual asking for marriage, and her desire for kids). I can't risk my career. His best friend is DEFINITELY going to side with his bro. Don't they all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:10 PM
23

I know, the description seems very unkind based on what she is probably going through. I do think that strictly technically, she fits the definition. For what it's worth, the age, income disparity while also sharing all bills 50/50, begging for marriage, wants a family, etc. is based on a 3rd party verification whose known both for all 7 years of their relationship. And I really don't mean to denigrate her. I think the situation is unfortunate, and in line with the same sort of unfortunate situa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:06 PM
67

Wait, really? If you have more info on your opinion, could you please expand?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 11:48 AM
38

[Not to put the VERY REAL danger that we women go through, this is only a joke] At least a serial killer will extinguish your life quickly. A LVM will just gaslight you, and slowly make you feel like you're an insane person until you slowly wish for death anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 10:30 AM
16

Uhh, so you only look at yourself in relation to the primary man in your life -- attached first to your father and then your boyfriend? Sounds dope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:05 AM
3

How many times can I say this; if a man insists on 50/50 on bills, then he does not see you as family or as future family. If you end up having kids, is he gonna give you side-eye until you Venmo him half of the cost of diapers?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:37 AM
5

Dayum, with the invention of Retin A - I'll look "in bloom of youth" for as long as I want!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:55 AM
1

Oh for sure, I definitely think some of these women just want to get married, regardless of the quality of the marriage. For sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 11:08 PM
45

If you're not confident enough in yourself to make the first move --> You are not enough of a leader to have your genes be perpetuated into the next generation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:53 PM
20

Ugh, you can tell the girl is cute as heck too. She can turn around and find a guy within a year that will treat her like she's a Real One
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:49 PM
1

Oh for sure, I think a lot of it is: 1.) Sunk Cost Fallacy, 2.) Demand for Return on Investment, and 3.) Identity is Tied up with Marriage I know a very sad situation (which at this point has become almost mythology on FDS, I mention it so often), a 40 Yr old live-in Forever Girlfriend, who splits bills 50/50 even though she makes 40k and he makes 160k. Together 7 years, and of course trying to get him to propose. And honestly -- it's not like it's even that great of a relationship that it shoul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:25 PM
2

Oh for sure - many Forever Girlfriends won't put their self respect first and truly walk because they know their boyfriend is more or less indifferent about them and won't run after them. So they'd rather play their "chances" that the guy will change his mind on marriage eventually, against the (so repressed and deep down its basically subconscious but they know it) nearly 100% chance that the guy will let them walk if the woman posed an ultimatum. They feel like - as long as I'm still with him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:30 AM
5

Oh for sure, if a Forever Girlfriend/Boyfriend situation ends in marriage, it's not like it gets rid of the emotional conditions that created that mess. Even if you "win the ring" ... By that point, these relationships tend to be extraordinarily filled with resentments. They remind me of zombie relationships - walking but dead inside
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:04 AM
11

"rocking her box" -- that is so profane and disrespectful that it exactly matches the general behavior of a LVM towards a Forever Girlfriend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:02 AM
23

Honestly, I just hate how for women, there's that whole "love hormone" thing that happens after physical intimacy. It sucks not having control of your brain anymore. That's why you have to be so careful before you take that step. In the words of great philosopher Heather Dubrow of the Real Housewives of Orange County: "Here's the thing. You can fall in love with anyone, so if you meet someone and they don't have on your list what's important to you, don't date them. Because you can fall in love …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:47 AM
25

Ugh, the million "what-if" scenarios!!! Like, what if the second I walk away, and then he magically becomes exactly what I want him to become, but now I'm gone! Or, what if he magically becomes what I want him to become, but for someone else! What if I found the perrrfect combination of words to train him? If there's one thing I've learned it's this: You gotta take a man "as is." He probably won't get any better. If anything, he'll get worse, because he's just putting on his best face for you at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:33 AM
27

This is exactly why multi-dating is so important. I just watched the Ruth Bader Ginsburg documentary, and she mentioned that during her 1st term @ school, she never went on date with the same guy twice =) Look, is it possible to be dating a bad docket of guys? Certainly, but when you're dating several at once, then at least you can compare; who is treating me well? Who is making me feel emotionally sheltered? Who is putting in the effort? If nothing else the act of comparing will put a critical …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:24 AM
1

That wasn't sarcastic at all. There are tons of deadbeat men. People are just terrible all around. In the end, people just package their terrible-ness into gender-conformed narratives. Dogs are the best people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 11:39 PM
1

oh for SUUUUUUUURE
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 11:05 PM
4

Obviously, I didn't say a woman should marry a dud.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 10:21 PM
3

I think you don't realize how constrained women are with their marriage choices. When a couple has 1 that is clearly less committed than the other, Assymmetrically Committed Relationship (ACR), it's the man that is more likely to be the less committed one by a ratio of 2:1. It is also most likely to be a LESS COMMITTED one to break up. It stands to reason - they're the one getting hurt, putting in most of the effort, etc. Therefore, considering that women have fewer years to have kids, there are…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 10:06 PM
4

The scariest part is when they STOP asking. That means that they've started to see you as being a shut-in, like a Cousin It type woman LOL
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 09:27 PM
0

The narrative also feeds into the excuse women always have to become a stay-at-home-woman (I won't even say mom, because a lot just want to stay at home doing nothing). Always dreamed of getting into the medical field, but then had trouble passing chemistry? If you're a dude, you figure it out, get a tutor, move onto plan B, plan C, all the way to plan Z. If you're a woman, you move onto the dream of being a stay-at-home-whatever! As long as it absolves me of my own financial responsibility as a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 09:24 PM
1

Trauma bond
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 05:40 PM
8

LOL the only person to support through grad school is MYSELF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 05:48 PM
5

This is terrible and really upsetting how a man can seem so "high value" until his behavior obviously shows otherwise. Gross. This is exactly what happens when a woman has no more leverage. Don't get it twisted, a man always knows what you're next best option is. That's why you always need to have your financial, emotional, psychological, health, familial, PROFESSIONAL (which is why I'd personally never leave my job when I start my family - I'll turn down the volume on my career at the same rate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:56 PM
3

Why, according to that world view, would having a contingency plan make you a gold digger? Doesn't that just make you aware of possible unplanned problems like your spouse passing away from, like, a heart attack? Look this 40 year old Pickme is not my friend because we have nothing in common and I don't really sympathize with her situation. I pity her. And because she hates her life, she doesn't really like other people nor exude warmth. But there's no way you couldn't known that. I sympathize w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:23 PM
23

For sure. Let’s make this even more specific. HIS close family and friends and COWORKERS. With these sorts of dudes you need to close every loophole. Remember, a man hasn't committed to you until he has given to you his 4 types of capital; literal capital (ring), and then familial, social, and professional capital aka a date set and announced to important people (boss must be included, not just coworkers) in those 3 groups. Women wouldn't need to define this shit like lawyers on Adderall, but we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:47 PM
3

Also, she wants to have kids. He keeps being wishy washy about marrying her (delaying), and he says he wants kids....someday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:59 AM
6

No, no kids. And it is ABSOLUTELY DUMB to be 40 and still be waiting as her fertility goes down the drain, absolutely. If you look at the grand arc of her life, she was not clever about strategizing her life in general (never planning to have a career or long term financial plan), so I'm not surprised that she is very bad at strategizing her relationship. If you don't have a cogent strategy for the big life plan, then you certainly don't really have a strategy for anything that's a component of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:31 AM
11

Maybe YOU need to put a ring on HIM! You found a one in a billion! Literally every single other situation I have seen in my life has turned out badly. Like this 40 year old Pickme Forever Girlfriend that is literally begging her live-in boyfriend to get married to her. After 6.5 Years. She has no leverage, and he won't do it, of course. And he even seems like such a HVM type of guy. She is suffering mightily under the sunk cost fallacy, and she can't fathom that she's WASTED HER 30s, so she's go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 07:07 AM
46

And you should make sure it's not one of those "shut up" rings... make sure a date for the wedding is set!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 06:56 AM
3

I actually know a LOT of really well-to-do finance guys that are obsessed with 50/50. Like, their brains are so rotted by arrogance, that they think every woman is out to just take them to the cleaners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:23 AM
1

Yup, there is absolutely no incentive to change. Does a toddler have any incentive to learn better anger-management tactics if its parents give in every time and rewards him with what he wanted? These sorts of co-dependnet relationship between someone that won't change and someone that needs their partnern to change are generally VERY FRAGILE (any relationship when so much is unspoken and swept under the rug, is bound to be), and the guy knows it. The guy doesn't want to even test out small incr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:44 AM
8

Ha that's hilarious, it's like the PickMe, stork version... going around town, grabbing man-trash. I asked one of my platonic male friends about this, why men will stay with girls who they don't like, who they wouldn't even spend time with if they weren't in a relationship with them. The male friend's reply was really, really simple: guaranteed s*x. It really is time to apply Occam's razor: sometimes it really is that simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:36 AM
20

And when they're essentially over it, they won't leave, they'll just abdicate their role in the relationship and wait until you notice. Recently, I had a conversation with a very HVM-seeming guy (great education, great job, very "good guy of the office" persona) who's telling me that he's using quarantine to re-evaluate his relationship, because he thinks he's just staying in the relationship out of inertia and just because he's "comfortable." I bet you he'll never actually leave. If you've gott…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:12 AM
21

Absolutely... The only math men are concerned with: regular sex at the cheapest price and effort. See how love and respect aren't variables in that equation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 07:43 AM
35

What the ever loving fuck... That's totally a reportable offense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:53 AM
26

I wish this weren't such an incendiary position
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:12 AM
7

FAX no email
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:11 AM
42

In pre historic times, only 6-8% of males passed on their genes aka - the "alphas" (able to lead, delay gratification, SOLVE conflict instead of incite it). Honestly, that's just about the right ratio of men that should be having kids these days, if that. The industrial revolution and late stage capitalism makes it too easy for any man to procreate. Honestly, women have to take responsibility too. When a woman would rather have children NOW rather than wait and have children under the right circ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:09 AM
29

Shoot - that's exactly it. It's almost a guaranteed losing proposition - the more you try to "fix" your partner and fail (and is it ever possible to fix someone?), the more time/effort you expend --> more labor you spend, the more you feel like you need "return" on your "investment" --> the more you need your partner's approval, because as long as your partner isn't changing then the implication is that your love isn't good enough to make that person "see the err of their way" --> if your love i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:34 AM
5

Amazing metaphor. Thank you.... a good metaphor lasts a lifetime
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:33 PM
2

Big ole smooth brains. No dimple craniums.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:53 PM
22

Their heads are heavier because they have to carry all that ego and AUDACITY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:12 AM
31

This is the decisiveness of a woman who has her own financial house in order. A woman always feels like she can walk away if she has the financial means to keep the quality-of-life she's used to, on her own salary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:46 PM
94

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. When a man is demanding you go 50/50 on household bills and he's the higher earner, then he is saying: You are not family to me. You will not be FUTURE family to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:34 PM
2

Oooh but that heroin problem tho
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:40 AM
8

And it totally misapplies the equal responsibility on men. There's a reason sperm banks don't accept applicants after 35 to 40, depending on the sperm bank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:16 AM
11

Yes, everything before proposal is just high-school level shizz.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:50 PM
10

Yup, guy friend confirms that a woman "loses points" if they sleep together on the first date. It doesn't stop him from trying, but it takes away the girl's points for long-term potential
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:49 PM
12

If a man doesn't talk about / bring up his partner in the course of normal conversation with conventional frequency, he is not into her. If there is any indication that he is hiding her, then he's either doing it on purpose, he's checked out of the relationship, or he's just not into her. Confirmed by a red-blooded hetero dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:47 PM
20

Yup, treating a woman who is a breadwinner terribly is a power-play. Treating a woman when a MAN is the breadwinner is a power-play. Men just treat women terribly no matter the financial situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:13 PM
9

In a way similar to how your platonic best friend would describe you -- specificity, sincerity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 02:57 PM
19

Yes, because they can't let go of that sweet, sweet narcissistic supply. It's their addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 02:56 PM
18

Shoot, this is a super-important one. And ultimately, every other relationship problem emanates from this core one. If a man feels incredibly lucky to have you, he'll figure out the rest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 02:52 PM
9

Why don't they realize that WE have THEM follow up questions when they open up? And that we use that information to build a more complete empathy towards them? Why can't they just pick up on what's being given, and then give back the same? Ugh, I know the answer.... selfishness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 02:40 PM
12

Wow, this is a great way to put it. How much excess space does he have in his mind/schedule to devote to this trash?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 02:37 PM
10

Yup, one woman will block him for life, whereas the other one will be deeply, deeply TRAUMA BONDED to him. One will be leveled up, the other will be leveled all the way down. FDS will help us be the one who levels up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:06 PM
2

LOL I love it... your dog knows relative worth, at least? Maybe it'll just go crazy happy when it finally meets a HVM?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:27 PM
18

Boundaries are something you decide on IRRESPECTIVE of the person. Your mom doesn't get to cross it. Even YOU don't get to cross it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:05 PM
17

Personally, I would've blocked him after he put up a fuss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:48 PM
1

Is it a non-free zoo? If yes, then OK. Make sure he pays for the meals/drinks. Like, the San Diego zoo costs $60/person. Many other zoos are free. You better bet the quality of experience matches the cost. Don't bother going if it's not a genuinely interesting place you want to go to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 04:39 PM
5

The fact that Kendall is the ONLY ONE who seems HV and she's also the only one who had emotional space from her mom, is not a coincidence. Do you remember how on her Sweet 16, the only thing she wanted was a really low-key party, and no presents, other than maybe her guests bringing gifts as donations for a charity? And it didn't even seem virtue-signalling? She was HV (seeming at least) from the beginning
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 09:59 PM
10

Or he'll think -- if this woman got me from minor league to major league, I want to find ANOTHER ONE to take me from major league to MVP. Gotta be another one though. Different LEAGUE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:59 PM
1

Thank you, I appreciate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:54 PM
111

It's the last thing on my list. My list has only one thing on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:46 AM
3

Ha, that's a great way to put it... I don't need to sell a thing to a man. It's easy to say, but extraordinarily hard to do. Look, I'm literally typing this just as I got done texting a "sales pitch" to a total LVM that I just can't move on from. But due to your comment, at least I am aware now. Thanks for your great metaphor. A metaphor can last a lifetime
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:18 PM
1

check out my comment above... it's not like I'm an expert on anything, just lived the same effed up life we all probably have and learned some crazy shit from it also, I totally understand how much more PLEASANT it is to day dream. But just remember the word day "dream." Thinking about saving a guy really is like a literal "dream" that you have when you sleep because: 1.) It can turn into a NIGHTMARE at any moment without notice 2.) Just like a dream that you have when you sleep, you have absolu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:11 PM
2

Aww, I know you're probably just joking around, but you're not dumb. The fact that you're self-aware enough to know that this is a problem for you, means that you are not dumb. This is very much a cliche, but it's just true. The first step of solving a problem is just admitting that it's a problem. Getting out of the savior complex, and into a mindset of: I will SAVE MY CURRENT AND FUTURE SELF, I guess, really starts with self awareness. I've never been good at overnight change. The times in my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:11 PM
2

I admire that you tried. Sincerely GOOD people try (within the boundaries of reason). I'd say about 95% of women try that hard, and about 5% of men try that hard. That's the issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:36 PM
41

Whereas women are more or less stable in their behavior over a lifetime. It makes total anecdotal sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 03:26 PM
28

I completely understand, I was/am the same way. Eventually, I realized it was a form of escapism to avoid my own immediate problems that I didn't want to solve, to improve my own quality-of-life. Maybe it'd help if you analyzed the root of why you have this tendency?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 03:20 PM
25

Exactly! It's just a super-convenient cope so they don't have to work on themselves or think critically about why their lives aren't going the way they want it to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 03:18 PM
13

Yup, just when you think the current guy is worse, you'll be surprised at how much lower your standards will get with the NEXT one. Because you're trying to get over the previous one, in an even more degraded mental state. You feel older, you feel worse about yourself, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:00 PM
25

I'd try to look for long-term patterns. Nothing wrong with putting your critical-thinking hat on, and try to extrapolate some conclusions from it. I noticed that if a guy is 50/50 while dating, he really won't be a gentleman when married (eye rolling if you ask him to get you a water if he's already up, etc). These days, a man taking you out for a real dinner-date as a first date is somewhat uncommon, but the men who do -- they are more likely to be really "worth it" in the long term as husbands…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:59 PM
3

Yup, because only one of those women got a good return-on-investment on her time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:39 PM
3

You welcome, sweetie. We're all swimming against a very strong tide that's very unfavorable to women. We've all been hurt gravely and we all need to help one another =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:01 PM
3

You're giving me flashbacks to when I had to grill my ex about whether he hooked up with Girl A, and he said NO. Turns out he did with Girl B, but he said I didn't ask him, and he told me the truth because I didn't ask about her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:59 PM
3

I'm really sorry to hear that. And I completely understand. I feel the same way, honestly. Had my heart shredded recently. The ones that do change only do so because they're like -- hmm, I irreparably hurt this woman (aka my toy), and she left me. If I don't change, I'll just keep breaking any toy I get in the future, and they'll leave me. I should fix myself so that I can keep playing with toys. It's not like they experienced genuine growth or an expansion in empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:31 PM
5

Block. Unmatch. Assume he strapped on his jet-pack and went to Mars =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:55 PM
2

Thank you! I stand on the shoulders of other women who have developed this theory before me! Honestly, it just forces faster failure if failure was going to happen anyway, ya know?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:51 PM
12

They only repair themselves after the damage to SOMEONE ELSE has been NON-REPARABLE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:15 PM
2

The wrong guy will go out on platonic dinner dates. At least it failed fast. The right guy will book your calendar out/court you so that you don't have time for these dinner dates. Maybe he'll go out on one or two platonic dinner date with a Pickmeisha, and then be like -- naw, I want a woman who challenges me, I'm going after THAT ONE (YOU). How are you able to tell his dates don't involve intimacy? How does a woman ever tell? A woman never, ever knows. How are you ever to know someone's real i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:01 PM
4

LOL exactly, I know how the internet works. I know how search algorithms work. Better than you do, probably. I'm not a dumb woman, who'd you think I am?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 04:48 AM
10

or "See what blossoms..." Like thanks for using such flowery language for "I want no responsibility"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:57 AM
13

Here's how I think about it, if you're marriage-minded: If you get to the place where you are physically intimate, I'd say that physical intimacy should be monogamous. But, then both parties should be able to have "platonic" dinner dates, if they want. Here's the thing, this arrangement is much better for women, because it's a lot easier for women to find dates with high quality applicants, than it is for men. Most guys will not like this, but who cares what they like? Tell them that a couple ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:45 AM
1

Gotcha... that's definitely safe. I was in a situation where I was in the same department as a dude. Did not turn out well. So I wanted to hear about someone who was in a good situation. Thanks for letting me know how your situation looks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:35 AM
3

I'd say that as long as you're really following FDS, then you don't have to wait for anything in particular, because there's no real potential for loss. Just go and enjoy yourself, block mentally and literally on your phone, and it'll help you get back in the game. You don't have to look for another relationship necessarily, but it'll heighten your sense of confidence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:12 AM
1

Aww, that's so sweet. If you don't mind, can you tell me how you guys dealt with the workplace politics of it all? Were you guys distant enough of workmates that it didn't matter?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:10 AM
19

Honestly, I was dating a guy, and we were looking through his Instagram when I gently made fun of his following models (this was when I was a "cool girl"). He actually was like "eh, it's just an ad, for bathing suits that showed up on my feed." And I'm like -- does this dude think I'm a dumb person? Firstly, ads have an ad icon at the top, ads look different than normal posts, and if you were searching for bathing suits, then why isn't it men's swim-trunks that are showing up in your insta feed?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:08 AM
44

It's as if he wants her to die of a broken heart Wow... it's almost like he wants her gone even faster than the natural course would. Abysmal. The bar really is set in hell. And if you think the wife doesn't comply that it'll keep him from doing it? He just wants permission so he can do it more conveniently, not go through the "hassle" of sneaking around, and draw from the marital funds that SHE contributed to throughout the years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:41 PM
20

I'm so sorry this happened to you... and yet perhaps it's what needed to happen to bring you to this community and new way of life. This tactic is such my "schtick" on FDS that it's kinda cliche, but I'll say it until I'm blue in the face. Don't just block men literally on your phone, block them MENTALLY. Men should not be given the privilege of "object permanence" until essentially just pre-engagement. Men have absolutely no compunction against ghosting/slow fading (and slow-fading is almost wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 05:27 PM
4

LOL it's really because: 1.) Men are socialized to live by a code of "take what's mine....and everything is potentially mine" ... remember that institutions the hierarchy and social structure of traditionally male structures: military and organized sports a.) bloodshed b.) you vs. me c.) zero sum game, there is no possibility for communal growth (even though really, most large complex structures in nature and society actually grow more when parties work together) and 2.) Pickmeishas let them get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:47 PM
6

Yup... it's all take, take, take.... knowing that if this particular Pickmeisha doesn't like it, then there's gonna be another who is willing to accept it. That's why finding a HVM is so important. A HVM wants a HVW who will challenge him in a healthy way, not someone who will take the least amount of possible effort. That's why Pickeishas are willing to take increasingly shitty treatment: they know deep down inside that they're replaceable by their dude
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:32 AM
2

Yes, since low value men travel the path of least resistance, that means we gotta go ANYWHERE BUT THERE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:10 AM
84

That's exactly it: existential dread. If a woman really believes that being coupled to a man is the most important thing she can do, then having a partner that treats you like this is such an abject slap in the face. These women tend to be Forever Girlfriends, too. They stay way too long, and the boyfriend has already abdicated his role of boyfriend, maybe years ago. Since men are too cowardly to break up when they are no longer in love, they'd rather just abdicate the role by turning the situat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:34 AM
41

Seriously, do these women have any idea how unhealthy these relationships are? Like, this cannot be good for base-line level of stress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:31 AM
19

That is SO TRUE. There really are men who will go out of there way in terms of their TIME (but never COST), to sit in front of a pretty woman. This shows you what they value -- they don't care about their time or lived everyday experience in life (because, really, time is the most valuable asset anyone has), but they are obsessed with cost. This type of dude is a very specific/particular type of breed. Tend to be the nerdy type that sat alone at lunch as a kid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:17 AM
4

That's super interesting. And totally unfair how women bare the brunt of FERTILITY CRISISISISISIS!!!!! according to society
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:15 AM
30

If it really comes to that, you can ask the restaurant staff if you can leave through the backdoor where the staff leave... something like -- I'm on a date with a real creep, and I honestly don't want him to see which car I'm getting into because I think he'll try to jot down my license plate. Tell this to a woman waitstaff, because men only look out for other men's interests. And women look out for other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:57 PM
28

LOL at #4 -- that men are more likely to pay if you're closer to your bedroom. Sad but true. Men are animals that haven't evolved to be worthy of us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:56 PM
13

Thank you for this great analogy. Men have gotten so spoiled, that they get WOMEN to be the gender that puts in all our capital into looking beautiful, and then WE feel obligated to spend extra time on them. I also like how the female bird doesn't feel like she needs to "pay half" metaphorically by leaving a shiny pebble or something if she isn't feeling it LOL. I think if a man asks me out, and even if he blatantly asks me to pay, I would just walk out with an eye roll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:54 PM
5

I agree with comments below that you shouldn't have bothered waiting half an hour. Another way to not waste your time is to make sure you book dates back to back. That way, you only get dressed/do makeup once. Plan an early dinner 5:30-7, and a late dinner 7:30-9. Tell the guys to choose the restaurant in the general downtown (or whatever) area... an area that's specific enough that once you park your car before Early Dinner, all you have to do is walk to Second Dinner. That way, if one of the g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:19 PM
3

Yup, never get attached. Also have a very strong pipeline of new guys. And very important -- even if a guy has taken you out 4-5 times and you think you're "falling" (ugh), you should practice "mental blocking." Remember that a man can ghost you at any moment, can disappoint you deeply at any moment. When a man is not directly in front of you, just block him from your mind. He does not exist. Just assume he lives on Mars or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:15 PM
7

Men have been fed the biggest "cope" by society that their value increases over time. Which is why you see so many indecisive dudes in their mid-late thirties still saying that they want to settle down and have kids "someday"... and make no efforts to move towards it for years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:12 PM
5

In addition to the other suggestions, I'd just say -- really concentrate on meeting HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:37 PM
12

Thank you for inspiring me... as a woman who is about your age (And therefore been through the ringer for a couple decades with terrible men), I'm so glad that it's possible. How did you meet your boyfriend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:28 PM
1

Yuuuup... that's what makes me so glad for FDS. When we come together and exchange notes, we figure out their covert strategy =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:26 PM
2

Ugh, I'm sincerely really sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 05:08 PM
12

Yup, and it's not even that we tell people this type of info so we can be found ALIVE. It's so we can be found after a brutal, traumatized death. It's so the Dateline film crew can find the site where the chalk outline is. Where the chalk outline is, while Dateline narrator talks about how great a person you are, how hopeful you were about finding love before you were murdered, and how you had no idea you were going to lose your life that night. That's what we think about before every single dat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:37 PM
3

Is this a way to make us more likely to pay? Because then if we pick a nicer place / pick a place we like or prefer, it spreads the responsibility on us... Or is this really just because they're lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:24 PM
2

That's terrrrible. But I do understand the feeling, I was in a very similar situation. He seemed like the most impressive HVM ever, I just basked in his glow. I totally fell for him, and I'm still recovering =(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:27 AM
1

You mean, he was dating you and then went out and lied about being single to get other girls? If so, that's abysmal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:19 AM
2

Yo, we HVW have busy lives, baddass careers that take up a lot of mental capacity. We need dating to be efficient! Ain't no shame in this game!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:02 AM
3

Does anyone know why this happens to men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:39 AM
11

The man who most recently shredded my heart and self esteem is pictured above
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:37 AM
55

"Getting her hopes up...." -- it's all about keeping the marriage carrot/carat(ha) in front of the Forever Girlfriend's nose, to keep the power dynamic imbalanced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:32 AM
6

Rose gold jewelry!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:28 AM
2

I understand, your situation seems to have a lot of constraints. Outside of covid times, do you work remote? If you are truly marriage minded, it really could be worth moving to a larger metro area
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:42 AM
5

Exactly. Because a man who is disproportionately obsessed with the threat of physical harm sees the world through a lens of pure aggression. A person who is always afraid of being hit is that way because he is probably always READY TO HIT OTHERS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:10 PM
1

Oh OK, I understand what you mean. I gotcha. I can actively say that you gotta be SUPER CAREFUL with financial services sales. I know that's incredibly specific, but, ya know.... run. RUN LADIES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:08 PM
4

Oh OK, I understand what you mean. I gotcha. I can actively say that you gotta be SUPER CAREFUL with financial services sales. I know that's incredibly specific, but, ya know.... run. RUN LADIES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:08 PM
7

NOOO. I really have to caution. High valueness is something so deep, so part of someone's core that it can't be demarcated by profession. I mean, other than saying a serial killer can't be high value, etc. Certain careers are definitely low value (anything immoral like lobbyist for tobacco company, etc), but I can't say that any particular career is automatically high value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:02 PM
15

I've said this before but I'll say this again, OLD should be an equal complement to real life dating. Try alumni events for your undergrad/grad school (your own city and adjacent cities), professional affiliation groups for interesting professions (medical, tech, accounting, finance, real estate, etc), ethnicity affiliation groups, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:54 PM
13

The best way to make time for meal dates is to devote Friday or Saturday night (or whatever night) to an early dinner from 5:30-7, and a late dinner date from 7:30-9... that way you only have to get dressed/made up once, drive out to city-center once. Make sure the restaurants are walking distance BUT NOT TOO CLOSE that the dudes could run into each other LOL. My philosophy is always -- PARK THE CAR ONCE, DATE TWICE! If the dudes get suspicious, or they ask why the tight time-span, just mention …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:48 PM
2

Do you think there is an unusual increase of engagements during the pandemic? Like the crisis is increasing the sense of urgency for things?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:54 AM
45

One of the justifications of misogyny is that in the end, men are the physical protectors of a family are men. What, against the 1 in a 300 chance of an intruder? Well, I protect against the chance of hunger 3 times a day, so let's talk about those odds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:42 AM
3

This article ( https://www.today.com/health/reason-why-men-marry-some-women-not-others-t74671) implies that men start to take dating seriously when they physical vigor starts to to erode. That's because all men have this macho, patriarchal image in their head of throwing a football with their sons (and it's always sons, they never imagine daughters), and they don't want to be too old to play sports with their sons. So men who are capable of dating seriously (and not ever man is capable), will st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:34 PM
4

To me, I don't think this is a good idea, because even though a lot of men might say that they're looking for marriage, first -- I've known a lot of guys that say that just because that's the socially programmed answer. It's the default answer. Secondly, just because a man says that they are looking for marriage, doesn't mean that they are looking for it at that moment. Men, unlike women, are great at compartmentalizing, they can say they're looking for marriage ultimately, 2-3 down the road, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:48 PM
8

I don't really recall if there's an FDS rule on this (though I have read the handbook a couple times), but I personally think it's better to be honest but don't give the whole blueprint. If you're marriage minded, something along the lines of: "I'm interested in the real thing, and marriage and family eventually." That way, you'll scare about dudes who are just lookin' to play. But not so much detail that it gives sociopathic guys the blueprint on how to win you over just for their own selfish m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:46 PM
10

Your average man walks the path of least resistance. They expect women to forge the path for anything difficult, and he can just walk behind us when the hurdles are taken care of. How is it that men get all the credit/benefits for being "leaders" in society, when really women have all the actual burdens and responsibilities?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 07:31 PM
13

Ugh, it's so gross. They don't think we're humans. They really don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 05:24 PM
31

Queen. Energy. Periodt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 05:15 PM
4

When you let someone take control of your self esteem, it takes way longer than the usual rule of 1/2 the time of the relationship for you to get over it. THAT'S how deep the effects of being emotionally abused/codependent are
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 05:14 PM
15

I'm sure she bought her own ring, and his too. Get ready for a life of being the on the hook financially.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 05:08 PM
33

YES. His stance is so EFFETE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 05:08 PM
25

As long as there is one available man on earth who has achieved that potential -- you should dump your guy with "potential" and look for the guy who has achieved it. The fact that women don't know this is proof positive that sunk cost fallacy and "Devil you know" syndrome are very strong holds
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 05:04 PM
20

WHO. IS. GONNA. EMOTIONALLY. SUPPORT. ME??? Are we allowed to ask for anything, here? Are we just expected to give and give and give?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 05:02 PM
5

You. Slay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 05:01 PM
6

Honestly there is no helping some people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 04:29 AM
23

That is so incredibly true...they will stay until year 25 of marriage, until that cancer diagnosis, until that whatever, when finally the cons outweigh the pros. Whenever that day hits, is that day when he's out that door. Remember that the door could be literal or METAPHORICAL. A lot of men will abdicate their roles PASSIVELY, not by walking out the door, but just by sitting on the couch. They might not walk out literally with that cancer diagnosis, they might just sit back and let everyone els…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 06:13 PM
1

Literally I have a Chrome window w/ a list of characteristics of a man I admittedly still have feelings for (but shouldn't) and "schizoid personality disorder"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:49 PM
4

Oh, absolutely. The patriarchal view of 40 is absolutely a factor, and the sunk cost fallacy. You've hit the nail on the head. And it's a cycle. She thinks she's in control of the situation, as if the continual asking will do anything. It doesn't, all it does is continue the power imbalance. But every day she spends just continues the sunk cost fallacy. Edited: Forgot to add that she never planned for her own long-term financial independence because she always thought she'd be a SAHM. This guy s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:14 PM
4

Men don't like getting shown up, makes them feel insecure. Even if their respective partners aren't made aware. It's all a @%# measuring contest. Don't men understand that being stingy just implies another sort of smallness?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:52 PM
2

Yup, like -- watch how much I don't need you (but I really am codependent on you deep down inside) and I'm going to show it by putting minimal effort on you. And since I'm paranoid about you being a gold-digger, I'm going to be obsessive about being 50/50, just to be clear that we are not now or ever will be family. It actually takes A LOT OF EMOTION to set up this sort of relationship infrastructure. It takes a lot of emotion to set up such an emotionless agreement/understanding between partner…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:48 PM
1

Men are extremely scary. Sometimes they're scary in their aggression. Sometimes their scary in the passive-aggression, in the case of your ex-boyfriend. But they really are frightening. Again, congratulations for moving onto a better future
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:18 PM
15

I've noticed this especially with seemingly HVM with the shiny advanced degree and great profession. If a man chooses a woman who he does not respect intellectually and professionally, it's so he can always be the "smart one" by a huge margin. God forbid a man that values intelligence within himself and his friends, try to partner with a woman that has that same characteristic!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:12 PM
3

There is a combination exclamation and question mark called the interrobang and it's actually perfect for this situation! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:04 PM
18

Nicki Minaj's External Net Worth: $80,000,000.00 Nicki Minaj's Internal Net Worth: $0.00
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:02 PM
5

Honestly, good for you. You should be extremely proud of yourself. Whatever age you are, know that there are women 20 years older that are not that strong. Here's what's crazy about men -- they are so weak that they would rather terribly and slowly abdicate their role as BF than just cutting it. Like Forever Girlfriends? Honey, your boyfriends abdicated their role as boyfriends after year 2, probably. Women have to understand that men are snakes, so they slither away from responsibility instead …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:56 PM
3

You're welcome, good luck... but remember, men are born lucky, women have to make our own luck =/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 04:47 PM
2

Yup! Just a way to avoid self reflection and therefore responsibility for ones own unhappiness.....if a man has a forever GF he can blame his unhappiness on her instead of taking responsibility as a single man and question why he's unhappy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 03:16 AM
3

Shit its so true... Some men want girlfriends just to avoid the silence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 03:14 AM
2

Nikki is great, dirty mouth is a great mouth sometimes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:42 PM
9

" sound excited in this but mainly because I'm so stunned men like this exist." -- You're applying character traits to something you don't know yet. "Men like this" should just mean -- men who are willing to act good for 6 weeks. That's it. You've dated men who are willing to act good for 5 weeks, so don't act so stunned about 6 weeks sis LOL Implicitly from your comments, you're still extrapolating from just 6 weeks, to a LIFETIME of continued HV behavior, in your head. It's great to be excited…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:29 PM
3

Seriously, the bizarre apple doesn't fall far from the bizarre tree. That whole genetic line reaaaaallly should not continue LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:26 PM
2

Throws down backpack, yells "What! What!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:25 PM
3

I know, and his relationship with his mom? UEEGGH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:10 PM
2

LOL Three candies? You're slaying sis. It's like this guy wants to meet in the middle school cafeteria after sixth period to hash it out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:09 PM
52

The most amazing thing about men is that men still think women are "in play" to them even if they are actively in relationships with other women and then they get mad when their "dream girl" gets engaged. Like dude, that women wasn't in play for years, play the game in front of you, with the woman you're stringing along and whose time you're wasting! TSome men are so antagonistic to others' happiness that one NIVM (negative infinity value male) even tried to get in between me and his best friend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:05 PM
5

Colt definitely seems like the kind of guy who goes outside the US because he thinks women in the US are just too "empowered." Therefore, he's going outside out of choice, not necessity. The cognitive dissonance? Extraordinary. Also, you misspelled "neckbeard" as "neckbread" ... but it really works because he's clean-shaven, but his neck does look very bready LOL. Not shaming your spelling at all just funny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:01 PM
31

Honestly, "kitten care" for a fully grown man? Ugh does she burp him afterwards too and wipe up his milk spittle? Does she use a baby bottle? We have strayed too far from the light, ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:56 PM
14

AND men's pedicures are cheaper because they don't include the paint part? Honestly, was definitely born the wrong gender
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:54 PM
21

Yes, your credentials will give you capital. Capital appreciates over time. Men won't even appreciate you in the moment LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:52 PM
61

Honestly, financial independence is essentially the #1 most important defense against bad dudes. It's about optionality. If you're staying with a guy even partially for lifestyle maintenance, then you're basically just a prostitute w/ one john instead of dozens. Which is better, but by how much?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:51 PM
10

I am one hundred percent happy for you, and it's not like there are any red flags from your post. This is just something I always like to mention to women who seem to be having the feels: Don't forget to keep dating. You are single until exclusive. And if you're marriage-minded I'd even say single until engaged or almost-engaged. And remember, men can still ghost at almost any stage. I've been ghosted/slow-faded by seemingly HVM at 3 months in. It happens, and I was a savvy, sharp bitch, and eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:45 PM
4

Seriously, did you have to go outside US territory borders just for funsies, or because you needed someone who was desperate for a greencard?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:28 PM
3

Honestly, like if you cheated on me, then the best thing you could do is to NOT come home. Because that'd be the same as just breaking up with me, but then sleeping w/ someone else just prior. Which is not great, but still way better than cheating and then bringing those lies home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:39 PM
2

It's super interesting, because don't men realize that we ALL would have better sex lives (both in quantity and quality), if we all level up, stayed healthy and attractive emotionally and physically, and commit to someone that we really care about? It's. So! Simple!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 05:25 AM
15

It's not an engagement, it's a sparkly manipulation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 05:07 AM
11

10 Years? Instead of taking that non-engagement-ring ring, she could've turned her life into a completely different direction...in 10 years she could've become an medical doctor with a specialty in psychiatric disorders, used her expertise to diagnose this guy as a DIPSHIT, and with that advantage of wisdom and expertise, she could've reflected at how 10 years ago she was at a cross-roads with her life and almost chose the wrong one. Instead? She chose the wrong one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 05:06 AM
2

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 05:40 PM
3

Do you know the name of this Youtuber? It wasn't apparent from the video...she is fuuuuunny. And that quote you picked is just perfect. Here here! Single until that contract is signed, that's right! I'm not a girl, and I'm a friend only to my real-deal Friends who don't want to sleep with me LOL. So I'm no one's girlfriend, Get the EFf Outta here with that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:42 AM
12

Honestly, at that point, I think both parties are at fault. The woman basically took the keys to her jail cell and locked herself in. For a decade. I've known couples like this. The men are always soooo smiley, because they have everything they want. They are the king of the castle, total optionality, no commitment, split bills so they can save cash for their own retirement (which their forever GF won't be part of). They dangle the "one day maybe we'll get married" carrot/carat, in front of the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 04:32 PM
117

Yes, I think men rush past the "dating" and get to the GF and BF stage as quickly as possible, because that's the stage where they can stop paying LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 04:19 PM
99

Honestly, because we invented this thing called "girlfriends and boyfriends" .... and we got rid of courting. The invention of GF and BF has been only to the benefit of men, not women at all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 04:18 PM
1

Yeah, I think that 90s culture maybe had positive intentions(?) but was co-opted by very craven commercial interests like exactly that type of Cosmo magazine industries. A lot of money was made by making women disrespect themselves and calling it the world's best thing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:17 PM
5

I know it sucks. But my big theory is: men do not have object permanence until almost engagement LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 01:10 PM
7

I know it's difficult, believe me, I am suffering through this immensely. Just remember that the MORE garbage a man is the MORE intrusive the thoughts will be. It's not like we try to figure out men that make complete sense right? The mind tries to unravel when there is cognitive dissonance. When there is a situation that defies logic. Who wants to live with a partner that constantly puts you in a situation that defies logic? Remember, each partnership develops its own internal set of rules. Do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 01:08 PM
2

ding ding ding! (touches nose)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:54 AM
3

Yeah it's always a really uncomfortable moment. I always just say "I'm allergic." That way I don't have to explain about it being religios, addiction related, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:18 AM
4

Can we file a restraining order against him, and all men like him, against his girlfriend, and all girls like his girlfriend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:09 AM
3

Yet so many articles about this issue are about soft-pedaling the conversation. Like, approach your boyfriend very carefully, lest you scare him! Two generations ago, men had to approach the woman's father with a ring in hand, before even having a chance at physical intimacy. Directionally, I think women have won a lot in terms of financial freedom, and a lot of it had to do with birth control (since we can have careers now). But I think birth control meant that we lost a lot too. I think if we …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:09 AM
16

That is so incredibly true. The longer a man stays with a Forever Girlfriend, the less he respects her. One of my friend-of-friends has a 6 year, 40 year old Forever Girlfriend, and the way he talks about her? Abysmal. A dog owner wouldn't talk about a dog that way. Scariest thing? This guy looks exactly like a HVM with all the trimmings, the office "good guy." But I happened to date his best friend, and got a portal into his deepest psyche. Once I looked into it? I was like -- wow, that shit is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:00 AM
18

And your upward (or at least steady lateral) career movement. You don't want to go on your first job interview after 5-10 years out of the job market and have to explain why. The interviewer can take a freaking guess (hmm, middle-aged woman, that hollow look in her eyes, that quiet desperation), but you don't want to be in that position.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:57 AM
13

No, he won't leave you, that would mean that you get half (in a community property state). He'll just have her on the side. The wife and kids and stability is the entree. The other girl is the side dish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:55 AM
2

Oh for sure, this is a business/publicity arrangement more than anything else, it seems. Mo more mo problems! One advantage of not being incredibly wealthy is having the freedom of walking away from a fake relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:51 AM
5

Oh for sure... their marriage really just seems like a terrible business arrangement now. Like not "bad" in a badass way, just ... bad like bad... like rotten tuna way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:50 AM
5

Honestly, there is no reason why you owe him your body. Also, if you in the U.S., remember that Canada is a nation that is an easier country to make a middle-class income in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:37 AM
26

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Don't just block men literally on your phone, MENTALLY block men. The default state of men are that of vapor, or ghosts. If a man is not actively in front of you or on the phone with you, he does not exist. He asked you for your availability. You responded. After you respond, you IMMEDIATELY MENTALLY BLOCK HIM. You just assume he no longer exists. You immediately assume he is ghosting you. You are pleasantly surprised if he shows up again in your life.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:35 AM
5

You're such an inspiration. I've used this facetious metaphor before about how on earth forever girlfriends who go 50/50 on bills have lost their dignity and how on earth they don't spend every minute of their time looking for it again? Well, whatever it took, you woke up one day and you went looking for it like a bloodhound. And your fool ex-boyfriend STILL doesn't have his dignity, still won't know it's lost, and still won't know why he's got this void within him. He'll still be empty. And you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 05:30 AM
25

He doesn't want to hurt her? He doesn't want to hurt his own comfortable situation. That's the real truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 07:13 AM
17

A lot of men will never be happy with their partner because they'll never be happy with themselves. But society tells men that they can't have any vulnerability, so they project that weakness onto their partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 07:09 AM
5

Hmm, unfortunately this woman has her own plethora of problems, too. I doubt she'll get out. It's a lot like taking the keys to a jail cell and locking yourself inside, and then wondering why you're so confined.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 07:01 AM
7

Someone needs to stop reading my soul
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 11:59 PM
23

Men know that women like to be caregivers. They know it works 99% of the time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 11:06 PM
3

Seriously. I mean, I do feel bad for these women, but you also knew what you were getting into, at least somewhat. There are certain women who are raised in situations with very few options/education, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 11:04 PM
15

This is why 50/50 men are just a no-go. In the end, you want a man that'll be there if the real @$%^ goes down. If you get a heart-attack. if you get cancer. Will he be there? If a guy insists on 50/50 when you're young and pretty, he for sure won't stick around and nurse you back to health through cancer (if you even get that far) when you're old and gray.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:58 PM
81

It's strictly a matter of: Why not? Why not have a warm body to keep you from being alone, to split bills with, for maintenance s*x, so you can feel superior to single men? Honestly, it's no friggin loss. All win. And you know that at the end of the day, you can convert the Forever GF to a Grateful Wife if after a decade you don't find anyone better. You have all the optionality at no cost. In fact, the Forever Girlfriend essentially PAYS the guy in housekeeping/emotional labor and shared bills …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:38 PM
7

That's the most important word. It deserves to be in red, underlined, bolded and then tattooed: REALISTICALLY. If your goal is to be in a happy and healthy relationship, literally any person is more likely than the guy who has already shown that they are not ready to be the one for you. Heck, a rando is more likely than a man who has already shown that he is not the one. Honestly, I was in this situation with a guy @ work who I thought I could build/work on. I developed this entire plan, but the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 08:44 PM
3

Ugh, if I could buy some of that immunity... I'd pay my bottom dollar, it'd be worth it. The most galling thing is when a man KNOWS he's your drug and he just smiles and is like -- come here, I want to hurt you. That's when you know he doesn't care about you, he only cares about himself. That's when you know all you should do is stay away. And seriously, stay away from those pheromones, that shit is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:29 PM
6

I think it'd be adorable to coordinate between a cute face-mask and a dress LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:29 PM
13

Attraction/love pings the same part of your brain as hard drugs. It's an addiction. Except a man can be a drug that talks back to you. That can evolve and get savvier the more you interact with it. Not even the hardest of street drugs can do that. That's why you have to block them as much as possible, and as soon as you can. You don't even want to smell their pheromones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:55 AM
2

Yeeeeessss. Beware the nerdy guy that grew up and got some money, and now his entire life is an exercise on revenge against women. Had my heart shredded by one of those.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:57 AM
5

This. Is. Critical. Thinking. Thank you FDS. Whenever I see a Forever Girlfriend, I can see that hollowness in their eyes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:33 AM
3

Or why he has so few male friends despite wanting them. They're just so much beterrrrr than most men. Sure dude, whatever you say
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 03:44 AM
4

Yup, every man who has to spend a lot of mental capacity thinking about his identity of how "nice" he is... probably is pretty terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 09:29 PM
2

Ha, thanks! I love you too! I know, it's extraordinarily difficult not to devote time to a favorite. If anything, try to give extra time to the "underdogs" of your pipeline, and to extra-handicap your favorites. The more your feels are ignited, the more you need to kill them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 09:25 PM
2

Oh, someone made a PDF of all that stuff... try searching for it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:32 AM
1

Thank you! I very much liked the concept myself (pats self on back).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:27 AM
1

Ugh, men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:22 AM
3

Pupil dilation is a good indicator of sexual attraction, not of heart-feelings. Studies of pupil dilation show a consistent correlation between dilation and sexual arousal, not something important like capacity to love and commit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:21 AM
2

I personally think talking about sexual history can be a perfectly mature conversation (and that includes disclosing the # of partners), but if a guy just asks you for a number, it's because he wants to know how to judge you. If a man asks you in that way, that very question is enough to JUDGE HIM as being a reactionary, old-fashioned (in a really bad way), insecure jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:19 AM
4

Maybe you fucked up, maybe you didn't. Next time, you better have at least 2 or 3 other guys in rotation, and you won't give an eff about this guy. That's the trick. And if you're marriage-minded, be really careful about exclusivity unless it's actual engagement. Some may see it as excessive, but I think being "Exclusively" girlfriend and boyfriend is just not a real thing. Until a man has given his capital to you, he can ghost you in a second, babe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:15 AM
6

Do you, but next time you start dating, consider this tactic. Always date multiple guys, and remember to MENTALLY BLOCK a man whenever he is not in front of you. Remember that a man can ghost you up until he gives you of his capital in multiple ways: 1.) financial capital: Ring 2.) Social capital: Hang out consistently with closest friends 3.) Professional capital: Are you invited consistently to his office parties? This NVM at my office hits on my constantly, and he never brings his 6 yr foreve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:13 AM
2

That sounds terrible to experience, and I went through something similar about 3-4 months ago. In the end, it's probably good that you see his inability to deal with stress fruitfully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:05 AM
2

He seems intelligent, but truly thoughtful? That comment about addicts doesn't seem thoughtful. I had my heart shredded by a guy that's similar to what you're describing. He seemed like the perfect HVM, and I was hook line and sinker. But he made me realize something extremely important: Just because a man is polite, does not mean he is kind. Just because a man is smart, does not mean he is deep. If this guy is a successful professionally, he is definitely at least polite and smart. Every man ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:02 AM
1

Another way to look at it is: He'll never love you completely because he does not love himself completely. A person that is that vain doesn't have a consistent core of self-confidence. Remember, most men have had incredibly easy lives. Real self-confidence is earned through trying at something you care about deeply, failing, getting up, and doing that 300x. For most women, just getting up every day and dealing with this disgusting world and the men in it, is an act of trying, being pushed down, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:00 AM
8

I've decided that when Covid is over, I'll be scheduling double-dinner dates, so I'll only have to get dressed up and do makeup once on a weekend. An early Saturday night dinner starting at like 5:30, and then a later one at like 7:30... my excuse for cutting out early will be something vague like -- movie times with a girlfriend. That way, they know the time is immovable. Make up once, date twice =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:54 AM
3

I'm really glad that fuckbois has become popular. When I was growing up, we didn't have that term. At least now there's a popular linguistic equivalent to sl*t... that means there's a good directional change
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:52 AM
1

LOL cheaters are the MOST diligent with their profiles. I swear, the ones that have wifeys are the ones that check their messages every second, always updating their pics, etc... Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:51 AM
6

Really recommend reading the FAQs.... the answer you give yourself after you read that is better than any answer we can
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:44 AM
2

I normally go alone. That way, no one to get in the way of my goal haha. The process of stopping the flow of conversation (especially if it's a "crop circle" of several people) to exchange numbers can feel kinda intense. SO -- bring along your business card to give to guys you strike up conversation with. But, to make it clear that you're not just doing this for professional contacts, but for personal, when you're handing your business card, take a pen and circle your cell. Emphasize that this i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 03:08 AM
8

Please stop reading my soul.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:17 PM
10

Honestly... There really are moments where I wonder... where did these women misplace there pride? And why can't they find it again? If I misplaced something so important, I'd spend every effing hour of the day trying to get it back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:16 PM
18

By "required" you mean it gets him out of living in the gross barracks housing. Instead, you get a nice stipend to live off barracks, with privacy... enough stipend for you and your woulda-been Forever Girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:14 PM
6

Thank you for appreciating my sentiment. I only speak this strongly because I've learned the hard way. This concept is the No BS Truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:18 AM
15

They're all good slugs, Brant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:09 AM
12

Yes, every time that a man has TRULY hurt me in a way surprises me, no man manages to surprise me w/ pain for several years afterwards. It's not until maybe 3-4 years from , that I meet someone else that really spins me out of my orbit. And then I learn something completely new about life... and then I take that lesson and am more-or-less immune from men surprising me for several years again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:44 AM
10

YES... it's that manipulation of that deepest layer of both discrete intelligence and EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE that is so galling. Like, my dude, it's taken me 34 years to earn my intuition, I had to earn every bit of this wisdom, and you managed to gaslight me?! Firstly, impressive, because I've never met anyone that has been able to do that. And secondly, get the eff out of my life forever and ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:40 AM
5

That's such a great idea.... do you have any idea just how many couples don't even like each other? Tons, maybe even majority. And they stick with it because of convenience, comfort, trauma bond, inertia, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:37 AM
39

They're worse than dogs. Dogs will destroy your furniture, but at least dogs are loyal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:14 AM
12

There is a REAL CORRELATION for me, as well. Having a manz in my life really does stress me out and fracks up my skin. What are they good for? Honestly, I just want kids. I don't need a man for that. Well, I need a very, very small part of a man for that =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:08 AM
3

Remember that this was the cultural norm to have multiple "suitors" vying for the woman's attention until a man ponied up with a ring, just 2-3 generations ago. Women have made great strides in business, technology, etc, but we have gone backwards in terms of dating. Let's combine our increased financial freedom with embracing FDS, and get the best of both worlds: Financial freedom with that "old-fashioned" (not really, in my opinion) "suitors-style" dating. I'm no one's girlfriend. I'm someone'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:00 AM
11

Alumni events from your undergrad (be willing to drive to adjacent cities to expand your options), speed dating events (those guys are going to be more serious since they had to get out of their house, drive somewhere, etc), professional affiliation groups that you can find through Meetup or through your city's local Finance/medical/real estate/accounting/ Professional's website ... who cares if you're not part of that group, you can always say that you're thinking about switching careers. None …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:35 PM
243

Because it's their only and most important cope. They think one day, when they wake up at some magical age, the power balance is going to magically shift and the world is going to rain puppies and rainbows upon them LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 02:02 AM
30

Ah yes, when women are childish, they shouldn't be given the privilege of world-altering responsibility. When men are childish, it's because they have the burden of world-altering responsibility. Gotchaaaaaaa
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 11:52 PM
1

You don't have to make this mistake again because you know the signs. And you got your FDS sistahs to help you. Remember that there are a lot of women who waste their entire lives with these men. Because men who aren't honest with themselves tend to spend their live with WOMEN who aren't honest with themselves. People who are at approximate level of emotional maturity tend to stay together. And that's why you got out. You better than that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 10:32 PM
2

Gotcha, appreciate the context about the regional flava LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 10:31 PM
14

hmmm... remember that a HVM is about character, not about the window dressing. The worse heart-shredding I've ever had was from a man that was highly professional. They're the most deceiving. But I understand that you're specifically comparing between two people...I want to remind you that character can't be discerned so easily
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 03:37 PM
3

I'd say for the NIVM, it's so difficult to be honest with others because he is not honest with himself. With this type (and he really is worse than the average NVM), he looks like the best HVM because he should be fulfilled with himself the way you'd think a successful man should be. But he isn't. the HVIM is ARROGANT, not CONFIDENT. Remember, arrogance is fragile, confidence is resilient. These men need constant material to feed their egos, so their egos take in everything like woodchippers: Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 06:23 PM
4

I had my heart totally shredded by a NIVM (I invented a new category of Negative Infinity Value Male) masquerading as HVM because I didn't understand this difference: Just because a man is POLITE, does not mean he is kind. Just because a man is SMART, does not mean he is deep. Basically, I got really swayed by a man having all the external markers of success, and "good guy" demeanor. When I found out he was scum, I was so surprised that I literally almost fainted (our entire emotional bond was a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:42 AM
11

2 words should be your mantra: Cold. Composed. Cold. Composed. That's it. It's not going to be easier, but it'll be worth it. You are investing in yourself and it will pay dividends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:36 AM
23

Yup... great point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:34 AM
5

I know for a FACT that men say different things to their Forever Girlfriend and their Bros (aka the truth) about whether a proposal is gonna happen. They tell their Bro the real deal, and their Forever Girlfriend the sanitized version about how if they Just. Held. On. It. Might. Happen. I was dating a guy whose best friend had a long-suffering 6 year Forever Girlfriend who was 40 Year old, who was also clearly giving up her fertile years. The guy told the friend that a proposal just wasn't gonna…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:31 AM
15

One approach I've seen another woman use is this: try to avoid Girlfriend/boyfriend mode as much as possible. Try to have "suitors." Keep having men taking you out on dinner dates, and the favorite of those guys can graduate up to your main "suitor." You can have physical intimacy with him, and you are physically monogamous with him, while continuing to take dates with your suitors. Your main guy, if he's in-it-to-win-it will be competitive and will try to book your schedule as much as practical…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:21 AM
3

When it comes down to it, the "market price" of female companionship is incredibly cheap. Free, even. That's why women who haven't discovered FDS (just like I hadn't 3 months ago and got myself into a situationship), are just flying blind and hope for the best. Having discovered FDS, we understand the "market price," but also understand that we can also command our own personal transactions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:05 AM
11

I think it's a great sign that you're not being defensive. You are listening to the advice here, which is more than what most women would do, probably. Don't get mad, don't get sad. Focus on the pragmatics. Build your capital in a separate account under your own account. Don't sleep with him anymore, as every time you do, the "bonding" chemical will increase the emotional attachment. Be that phenomenon of the "runaway wife": it's what men complain about to their divorce attorneys about how wives…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:59 AM
2

Oh believe me, I'm just looking into it because I'm @ that place in my life where I'm getting creative in looking for alternatives to OLD. I'm not "desperate" (which is so not FDS), but I do really want to start a family, and I want a man who makes at least as much as I do (I took the debt and risk to go for it professionally, and I want the payoff damnit), which means that only about 3% of men even meet my standards. Therefore, to supplement OLD, I'll be doing speed dating, alumni events for my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:51 AM
104

Another good thing to ask, for anyone who wants to start a family: Would I be worried or disappointed if this man were exactly like my future son? Directionally, little boys grow up to be like their sons, and little girls grow up to be like their moms. The man you choose to be the father of your sons will be the primary male role model. If the man you're dating has habits/character traits that would make you worried/disappointed, then you probably shouldn't be wasting your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:43 AM
1

Thanks. I personally will be going to as many speed dating events as I can once quarantine is lifted in my area. I've decided that I really want to take this dating thing seriously. Not because I'm really pro-man, but because I really want to have a family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:33 AM
11

I think you already know what the answer is. I know it's super easy for an internet stranger to say this, but 99% of the post says one thing, and then at the very end you say that you still need time to THEN decide, at that later time. That implies that you're more emotionally attached than your words are saying. I say this because I've been there. I mean, like literally 3 months ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:30 AM
6

I was dating a HVM, and since he snored (and he knew that I was a light sleeper), he would get up and sleep on the couch so I could sleep well in his bedroom. Then, the next morning I find him asleep in the living room, and I'd ask him why he slept there. He replies that he fell asleep watching TV. I'm like -- don't bullshit a bullshitter, the TVs off dude. He didn't even want me to feel guilty about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:24 AM
1

Try speed dating events in your area? I'd bet the guys are more serious since they have to actually get out of their house instead of just swiping from their phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:19 AM
6

That's a very interesting way to put it. The inverse would be -- if two people meeting hurt a third, they shouldn't be together. AKA -- if you and a dude get together will eventually hurt your best friend/mom because your best friend/mom will worry about you, then GET OUT!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 01:57 AM
4

I know, sorry all. It's Steven Colbert, who I also love. There are a lot of youtube videos of Colbert recounting this story, can be found by a Google search.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 01:52 AM
7

Honestly, I think it's the same chemistry (dopamine, seratonin, etc), and we just backwards justify if it's the "bad" chemistry aka "lust" or it's the "good" chemistry aka "love at first sight" based on how the actual relationship turned out. But it's the same chemicals in both situations. BTW, chemical-level attraction absolutely exists. If a man and woman meet one another who are the optimal level of similar/dissimilar genetically (and therefore would make a really strong baby DNA-wise) smell …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 01:51 AM
1

Haha I think I know what you mean. Like it's backwards justification, I think you're meaning
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 10:29 PM
15

Hmm... so you really don't believe the idea that men know by 6 months? I mean, they'll string you along for as long as you'll hold on to the rope, but they know whether they're a yes/no by 6 months, according to most reports
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 09:11 PM
6

Yup, if a guy is insisting on 50/50, he is almost specifically saying: You are not family to me. Are you obsessive about 50/50 with your parents, or your siblings, assuming you have a good relationship with them? Or even your best friends? No. So if your boyfriend is insisting on 50/50, he is trying to tell you -- you are not my family. Not now and probably not ever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 04:24 AM
2

I've developed the conclusion that the default setting of men is sociopath. Therefore, that's why most men (Who are LVM) look at HVM like THEY'RE the ones who are wrong in the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:18 AM
2

I think the ratio of men who leave women during illness versus the other way around is 20:1. That's abooooouuuut the correct ratio of decent people I've found between the genders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 02:37 AM
1

How. Can. ANYONE. Do this to their life partner?!?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 02:36 AM
8

Seriously, it's like once they do something terrible, they appeal to a higher power. Like, they couldn't have appealed to a higher power in the moment BEFORE they did something abysmal?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 02:08 AM
23

Men make women apologize to THEM for SEEING the mistakes, and for making THEM feel bad. How dare we!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 01:11 AM
31

Yeeeees. It's not just the dominance, it's about intellectual/emotional horizons. It must be very threatening to partner with a woman with wider horizons and a less boundaried view of the human experience. Heck, a LVM can hardly deal with being around another MAN who is more well-traveled, well-read, etc. Can you imagine how threatening it'd be to partner with a woman who pings all these insecurities for him? No wonder a LVM would rather be with a woman with a more limited world-view.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 01:09 AM
2

Fair points. I'm referring more to SAHM that have all school-aged kids and that also have maids and other paid help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 09:21 PM
1

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Don't just actually block on your phone if a guy is messing with you, but MENTALLY block after EVERY INTERACTION. After ever text, call, even date. Assume every man will ghost you. After ever interaction. Until how long? Hard to say, but longer than 3 months, because I've been slow-faded/ghosted after 3 months so..... at least 3 months LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 08:47 PM
13

For me, at this age? I should be single until engaged or just pre-engaged
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:20 PM
3

The emotional/life-experience difference between a 35 year old and a 25 year old is just massive. There is something odd about a man wanting to be with a woman with that much of an age gap. A 50 year old man with a 40 year old woman is different. The type of emotional growth between 25 and 35 should be a STEEP ELEVATION upward towards greater maturity. If a man at 35 wants to date a woman at 25, that implies that he didn't go through that steep elevation towards maturity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:14 PM
16

Wow, very well put. That girl ain't even got a towel to keep herself warm. That guy got everything he wanted, played with her feelings, all on purpose, for years. Your average woman wouldn't be that mean to their worst enemy, but your average man would do that to their life partner, their "love," and call it Tuesday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 03:26 AM
16

Thank you. Honestly, the entire elite MBA route (especially as a woman), wasn't even on my radar until that particular moment. But for some reason, my competitiveness was just stoked. At that particular hellish desperate moment, I had NEVER taken a class in economics, business, or even math since I was a junior in High School. I was so many years away from even being qualified to APPLY. But I just knew I wanted to be better than that b@#$$ in some way LOL. Little did I realize that I already was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 07:08 PM
5

Once you've fallen, it's very hard to un-fall. It's like un-ringing a bell. You have to keep that inner reserve of skepticism up almost all the way through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 03:47 AM
111

I was so jealous/intimidated because the woman my first boyfriend (and first love, and guy I lost my virginity to) cheated on me with, had an MBA, and I was so relatively unsuccessful. He said he was attracted to her because she was more career oriented and they could talk about stuff that he and I couldn't. I felt so embarrassed when I found out she went to a top program, and I was still finding my way, unemployed because of the recession. I graduated 2 years ago from the best MBA program in th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 03:40 AM
18

Honestly... THIS DUDE?!?!?! I mean, come on!! This is proof positive that somehow, drama can wrap itself around men of absolutely zero value. Therefore, just because you are completely heads over heels for someone, that doesn't mean the guy is worth it. It just means that your brain chemicals are acting up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 03:24 AM
1

I know it's extraordinarily difficult, but remember to both literally block, but also MENTALLY block. After every text, phone call, or even date, assume you'll never hear or see that from that mofo again. ASSUME HE WILL GHOST. Really, because that's how men be. Because 99.99% of men are incapable of closing loose threads gracefully and just saying that they're no longer interested, they'd rather ghost/breadcrumb/slow-fade/back-pocket you. None of which are the behavior of the man who you will ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 03:09 AM
15

Yup, I'm requiring that a man either have the same or more earning potential than me. I've worked extraordinarily hard on my career, I paid a half a million dollars for this brain in terms of undergrad and graduate school tuition, and the sheer RISK of pursuing a highly specialized field of finance means I have the backbone to do what most people can't. I want a man who has the same fearlessness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 02:56 AM
20

The type of men who specifically WANT a woman who is financially dependent because she CAN'T walk away? Absolutely gross. Those types of men want an exciting career-woman on the side for the intellectual stimulation, but they can't handle her as the main deal, because he knows she can walk away because she has control over her own life. So the LVM finds a LVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 02:16 AM
6

That. Is. So. True. And so freaking sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 02:10 AM
1

Thanks for mentioning the IRL venues of mixers and speed-dating. Sometimes I forget about these options. And Alumni events!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 02:04 AM
2

To be honest, and I don't completely know your situation, but based on the frequency, timing, and general feel of your comments, it seems like this situation is either dead, or you're just trying too hard. I could answer this particular question, but my general feeling is that it's just not going to happen. More importantly, is that you just gotta put away the Pick Me Energy, and to find stop it within yourself when someone else isn't there to point it out. I might be wrong of course, this is my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:54 AM
17

Look, I completely understand. It's your brain wanting that drug. But just like anyone that wants to be free from drugs, you just have to listen to your rational mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:37 PM
3

I love that approach, very savvy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:35 PM
3

Sorry, I edited. I just assume that I WON'T here from then again. After every text/call/date, I MENTALLY block. Hell, I've been slow-ghosted after 3-month relationships LOL. Just assume every man will ghost you. Let's put it this way. The man that will marry you (if that's what you want) will chase after you like a hunter chases a mastodon across the savanna.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:33 PM
3

Isn't that so sad that a man acting like an actual adult means he has women climbing after him like ants on an anthill? Ugh. Whereas a woman with the same badges of adulthood would be too "intimidating" and would actually have FEWER men after her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:20 PM
11

And if he expects it from you without offering it freely and EFFECTIVELY (like if he offers it but isn't skilled at it), then read it 100 times until your eyes can't read it no mo'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 06:22 PM
6

It really is true that men are deformed women...like, on a genetic basis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 06:18 PM
3

My tactic is generally let them initiate almost always and then mirror their interest level. Keep swiping new dudes constantly so you are always forgetting about who is and isn't texting you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 05:54 AM
1

Ha! That's so true. Men have a better time because the get to pick among people like us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 12:54 AM
11

A big thing about FDS is block block block. I personally have another tactic. And that's mentally blocking (on top of actually blocking). After every interaction, whether it's text, phone call, date, anything, I just assume I won't hear from them again. That's my assumption until it becomes an exclusive relationship. I don't do what I used to do and after every interaction/text, put a mental timer in my head, and anxiously see if the guy reaches out within my mental timer's limits. Because by se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 12:30 AM
38

Also, studies show that when funding is given directly to men in poor/developing areas, they just spend it on gambling/cigarettes/alcohol. When funding is given directly to women, it's spent on feeding their children or entrepreneurship so they can better their families.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:40 PM
4

We women have to understand that men see women through the lens of how men treat men. Men resolve conflict through brute force. When a man cowers, it's an invitation to kick a man when he's down. A man has to EARN respect from another man by throwing a punch. We are smaller and generally weaker, so we have to do it in our own way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 07:52 PM
8

When it comes down to it, men pay physical currency for the emotional currency of being seen with a lovely female counterpart. This is the social dance we all dance, and when the social construct is broken, the dance is off rhythm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 07:49 PM
5

You. Da. Queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 07:44 PM
5

During non-quarantine time? Just one phone call. If he doesn't ask you out after the phone call, or quickly thereafter by text, I'd just move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 11:08 PM
9

I experienced this, but then he lost his mind when he experienced severe professional/financial duress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 02:03 AM
8

You understand that if you're healthier apart or healthier platonically, that you'd let each other go if necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 02:02 AM
3

Yes. Another metaphor is a parasite and a host. A parasite can't live without a host, but a host can definitely live without a parasite (like how a widow can live without a husband, but a widower remarries like literally right after the funeral). The parasite needs the life-force of the host, but remember that every bit of blood the parasite takes from the host, is less energy for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 10:27 PM
5

Yes, some people eat their own bullshit like it's cake. It's unfortunate, but it's true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 10:22 PM
12

I think a fork through the hand or neck is in order
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 10:16 PM
17

I, too, am a Stanford grad, and I have this rhyming line on my dating profile: "I am not who you are looking for if you want a Stepford Wife. I am a Stanford (University) Wife." I like to think it repels men who are afraid of smart women. It probably repels a LOT of dudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 09:48 PM
1

Do they though? Really? They might get better at hiding their ways or get savvier about managing their social media and start posting more wholesome pictures about themselves. But truly change? That takes really hard work, therapy, and a time scale that's measured in years. And the vast majority of men do not have that kind of patience or tolerance for risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 09:42 PM
32

Literally the #1 piece of advice that will end 99% of problems in both of those subs is: People. Don't. Change. If you want to change your quality of life, and that's obviously why you're posting for advice, then get rid of the person you're dealing with (for someone else or being alone for a while is OK too), don't even bother trying to change the behavior of the person. That's it. Nothing else will do. And yeah, trying to be friends could work. Or getting back together could work. In the dista…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:23 PM
2

I know. I understand your pain. I was recently really affected by this. I guess the only defense against this is to really follow FDS ideology and to really screen hard up-front, which should help weed-out guys with these sorts of issues. Remember, a guy might flirt like his heart means it, but if he isn't PURSUING with PLANS and PAYING (the 3 Ps), then there could be a variety of reasons why. Could be a wife, a GF, who the eff knows, why waste the time even figuring it out. Just be like -- on t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 04:43 PM
3

I know. I think the default emotional maturity level for men is: sociopath
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 08:56 PM
7

They did it precisely because our power supercedes theirs in this crucial department. Its insecurity writ large over centuries and nearly every culture
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 08:54 PM
4

Uuugh that's so true. Why are men such animals that even platonic conversations can be used for that "destressing" purpose (ew)? Been there, done that. Because it might make the guy less stressed, but it's brought a whole lot of stress to the woman's life, when there's no chance of a real relationship. And the guy knows there's no chance of a real relationship, the whole time. So gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 07:57 AM
40

I became a true acolyte to FDS when I read in the wiki the line about how we get to choose which man's genes to bear and carry forth into the world. WE make that decision, not them. They should be cherishing the power we hold from day one and every minute onward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:57 AM
11

Their first statement would be: if women want equal pay, then why should men try to court women? .... like yeah dude, same thing totally. Great straw man argument
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:41 AM
7

Check out the dating coach Rori Raye. She is all about it: Circular Dating. But honestly, FDS has the same theory. And yes, there's nothing wrong with taking the best of "old-fashioned" almost Victorian-era courtship, and fusing it with contemporary life where women like us can have our own careers, test out sexual chemistry before marriage, etc. and fuse it all together to make a life really worth living with a HVM by our side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:24 AM
40

Exactly. Now women are the PAYERS for the pleasure of giving these dudes maintenance sex so they can stop bothering us and let us get some sleep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 12:13 AM
94

To think in our grandmothers generation (yes there were many problems then, too), women had multiple "suitors," and women chose her favorite. Men didn't get years and years of "entertainment" aka an in-house prostitute who pays half the rent/bills😪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 11:53 PM
6

Yes, I agree on that. But, with that considered, and the fact that I'm 34 and Covid has killed my opportunity to date (in California social distancing is taken very seriously and it should be IMO), and the fact that I do want to have a couple kids, I feel that I am in a huge time crunch. By the time I have the opportunity to date, I'll be 35. So, I think I'll be taking the tactic some FDS members have taken / the Rori Raye approach of "Circular Dating" where you are Intimacy-Monogamous with one …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 09:31 PM
2

But really draw out the indifference in the meHHH-n
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 08:47 PM
3

AKA just about every man I've ever had in my liiiiiiiiiife!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 08:45 PM
2

How does this square with the FDS idea that we should walk away if a man doesn't propose by 1-1.5 years? It seems like not a lot of time, then, to really confirm HVM-ness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 08:41 PM
1

Yup, I'm looking at my future husband more as a gift to my future kids than anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:54 AM
51

One of the most important things I've ever learned; a person cannot give what they do not have. If a person does not respect themself, they cannot respect you. If they are not honest to themself, they cannot give you honesty. If a person cannot put down their ego and embrace their vulnerabilities, they cannot embrace you and your vulnerabilities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:30 AM
47

Yup, he's the type of man whose soulmate is whatever woman happens to be riiiiight in front of him. I know that type of man well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:57 AM
1

Expanding on how low the bar can get: One thing I've learned from reading the FDS Handbook is that men are socialized very differently than women. Men are socialized to see compromise as weakness, and that compromise can be an invitation to overstep. Have you ever noticed that if you give an inch, a man takes a mile? That's because AMONG MEN, that's how they compete and jockey for position. That's why men are so uncomfortable socially until a clear hierarchy is established. But yes, the entire p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 08:50 PM
1

Yup. Because the damage to one's self esteem is a self-fulfilling cycle. A person disappoints/hurts you, then you try to please them, then they hurt you more, then you try to please them more, et cetera. It doesn't have a natural end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:30 PM
6

Plus personal stylist plus pet groomer plus...plus....plus...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:46 PM
8

Yup its cheaper than the cumulative market value of a secretary plus prostitute plus housekeeper plus cook plus personal shopper
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 02:41 AM
12

It's a total #s game, only about 1 out of every 20 matches will speak normally/ask questions about you/your day. This is normal. Most are on the apps just for an ego boost, to see whats up. I've found The League to be higher quality conversations, in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:52 PM
1

Yup, there's a NVM in my life that's trying to make me an outside "option" to his Forever GF. I can tell that he's trying to get as much info from me about my personal life as possible (we're coworkers), so I retaliate by strictly talking about work ONLY. I know what he's trying to do, and I will not give him info so he can comparison shop between me and his Forever GF like he's the king of the castle. Data isn't free, and mine is definitely not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:27 AM
3

This is such an empathic answer. I will personally use the first sentence as a mantra when I go back to the office and deal with a certain NVM that gaslit me and continues to pursue me. There's a part of me that stubbornly doesn't want to change my usual paths around the office to avoid him because it'd be "giving him power over me," but your comment is correct. If it strengthens my vision of a life without him, then walking some extra steps is worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:19 AM
1

This immediately makes me think of a coworker who is pursuing me, but who is in a 6 year, live-in relationship with a girlfriend. I know that the girlfriend, who is almost 40, really wants to get married. I hear gossip from around-the-office that the male coworker, 35, is always complaining about the girlfriend and that "he's not interested" in marrying her. As a woman, I have sincere sympathy for the girlfriend, but I also know exactly why she's acting like a Pickmeisha: she's already wasted 6 …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 02:38 AM
18

I'd say that a HVM has to have high integrity. Necessary ingredient =)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 02:03 AM
8

Keep hope. During Covid I've developed a great friendship with a guy I met on Bumble who I've decided has no romantic potential (unfortunately) because he doensn't want kids, but I do. He is definitely a HVM, and he wanted to be honest and up-front about his long term goals so that I didn't waste my time and romantic intentions if I wasn't aligned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 12:29 AM
9

I was very influenced by the sentence in the FAQ implying that you should keep your standards very high because if you REALLY decide to compromise A BIT for whatever reason with an otherwise truly HVM, then you'll at least be 95% of the way to your high standards. If you start with low standards or none at all, then you'll be shocked at how low the floor can get with each successive heart break. If I'm misstating the FDS principle in any way, please let me know, as I do not mean to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 12:25 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter