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persephones_torch Archive

View 10 posts and 795 comments by persephones_torch on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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42

You just described all the woman posters at r/askmen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 10:09 PM
3

Tbh you sound insecure about a lot of things. You should quit pretending to be her friend and figure out why you're writing an essay about the things you can't stand about her instead of being a friend and confronting her about this. Birds of the same feather. Think about who you're spending time with and figure out whether this relationship is worth salvaging or needs to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:31 AM
48

Tbh I've dated several guys like these, I just felt constantly on my guard that I had to keep 'checking' them on the courting stage, when that's when they should be bringing their A game. Up to you on what your tolerance is. For me the fact that they try and see what they can get away with each time makes me lose respect until it's non existent. Makes me feel like you're having to train a child or a pet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:01 AM
8

I like this energy. Try as I might I can't hate the people I once loved, no matter how wrong they did me. I see and understand why they are like that. But the important part is not being responsible for other's wellbeing and mental health. I used to feel that I had to rescue them and when they turned to me for help I couldn't say no. Now I'm actively managing those feelings stemming from codependency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 02:47 AM
48

Goodness I just had lunch and want to keep it down. Picture is not helping 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 09:11 PM
4

Wasn't sure what to expect when I clicked, but I was pleasantly surprised
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:11 PM
121

This poor girl. He doesn't really love her. He just needs a body (a fit one) to fulfill the role of someone beside him. I hope she realizes how conditional and controlling and awful this relationship is and leave
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:10 AM
76

Ok but what tf is Dywane wearing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 11:09 PM
122

Psychopath. Men like these are the type to kill the kids if he's angry enough at his wife and snaps one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:37 AM
3

Back when I was thinking of entertaining a man (I had a crush on this guy for years, total HVM on paper and he kept expressing interest), I had dreams of voices telling me not to trust him. I didn't listen to those because I used to be less spiritual than I am now, and I thought it was ridiculous. Our first night together, I felt that he literally sapped the energy out of me and I had the headache the whole of the morning after. It was the strangest thing because he had this magnetic pull the wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:31 AM
92

I seriously hate this style... I used to see a guy who was exactly like this. "It's ok I understand if you don't want to" "I'm not forcing you to, I totally understand" "i'm not expecting you to reply or anything" 🙄🙄🙄 Straight from the manipulative LVM playbook
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:48 PM
8

Dumbass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:45 PM
15

Be careful of guy 'friends' who hit you up post divorce. They want to be the rebound aka are fully expecting you to be slutting it up for them since you were stuck in a marriage. Fuck men like these tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:25 AM
6

BuT i HaVe NeEds Christ. We need a virus eliminating scrotes from civilization rn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:55 AM
12

Yessss witch yesss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 12:59 PM
522

Goddamn this is so sad. I don't understand why they advertise this to "shame" the man into proposing. It speaks more about them and their tolerance of him dragging his feet and how desperate they are to be wed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 08:39 PM
13

This made me smile. Sounds like you got a good one, but reading through, seems like you are the catch yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 05:45 PM
55

Wow he does not give af. Most likely hates her guts and hates his life. Poor family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 05:33 PM
14

I think you need to make a more elaborate post on that strategy sis, it's brilliant to fire up their competitive nature by going on dates with other men. Don't get caught slippin sir...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:39 PM
191

They like the power trip when women are manipulated and give in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:37 PM
30

I think this is when having older more experienced women in your life come to play. Back when I reentered the dating world, I was super rusty and didn't know what to expect. I haven't dated anyone else after my ex. I ended up lowering myself to entertain a friend turned fuckboy. My younger, chiller libfem friends were all "just chill, relationships just take time to become commitments these days, it's really like that. Tell him your feelings." So even while I felt there was something off, I list…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:34 PM
22

This man not only used her for sex, he used up her time, her energy, her vitality, took advantage of her compassion and sympathy. And after he felt secure enough from her words, he was strong enough to go after what he really wanted to pursue - another woman. He wasn't strong enough to have his shit together working on himself, he let this woman invest all that time on him. I'm sure in his mind he did nothing wrong. After all, she was offering her services for free. Morale of the story: don't le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:17 PM
86

They're usually blind to clutter and the dishes piling up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:09 PM
27

😭 One of the tragedies of being a straight woman. I think our next evolutionary step as women is to have our clits evolve to glow in red when we're aroused to help men find it. Bruh its right there this little nub flashing like a police officer's light and you still can't find it??? There will be no excuses. TIRED OF IT. IM TIRED OF IT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:06 PM
41

Never watched this show but that edit was so good I thought this was the original video for the song. I do feel like a lot of women go through that phase of feeling the validation from men and getting drunk from the feeling of it. And then later on realizing it doesn't mean shit. Heartbreaking when that happens but it's an important part of getting your eyes opened to the world of men. At first you just want to be seen. It doesn't matter what kind of attention. You just want to be noticed. And t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:01 PM
189

I find it very abusive to put pressure on women to provide sex, maid duties, cook services. emotional labor, childbearing, childcaring, and therapy while being expected to bear this all with smile on our beautifully painted faces as we "reform" these badly raised men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:23 PM
9

Are there things that he does that makes you uncomfortable? Are there things that you wish he woild do more? You can communicate those to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 03:56 PM
7

Respect begets respect. He disrespects me, I don't feel bad ghosting, not replying, blocking and deleting. They always know what they did. No need to elaborate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 03:52 PM
8

Trust your instinct. Always. You're making the best decision for YOU while YOU are in the midst of that situation. No one else. So anybody who minimizes it, don't listen to them. Listen to your own voice on this one, you're the one who knows best what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable, loved or uncared for, uplifted or demeaned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 03:48 PM
51

... reason #657 why I'm opting out of relationships with men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 03:40 PM
50

This is our future if we keep staying in relationships that we have to "push along" to get what we need from an LVM Edit: nailed the exact reason why they do this. It speaks more about their insecurities. They need the external validation to make them feel complete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 03:35 PM
82

"How do I handle this?" Women don't understand that if men think something was right and okay by their standards, they wouldn't need to mention it to their woman. Mentioning it is testing her boundary. Seeing if she'd be fine with it, if she wouldn't complain. If she's cool girl, yeah, he has the THUMBS UP to proceed and it won't be an issue. If it comes up later after he's spent thousands on onlyfans, and she's crying, he's going to be all "well why are you mentioning this now, you were cool wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 05:40 AM
4

Sorry sis. I'm glad you're where you are now and out of that mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:15 AM
22

Avoidant, commitment phobe, possible narcissist? I'm always wary of how trashy his past is. Even if he calms down and is ready to commit, it'd still put me on guard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:13 AM
19

Don't be too hard on yourself. Remember a lot of us had some really cringeworthy pickme moments... used to replay those moments in my head for months but it eventually died down as I learned to love and grow to respect myself more and more. Try and engage in journaling and a lot of self affirmation. I just try to remember that without these experiences with people that were toxic for me, I wouldn't have gained knowledge and insight about myself. And I'm a much wiser much stronger woman because o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:12 AM
277

Lol I'm cool with the free publicity. Women check this sub out and are surprised when our views align to what they always kind of knew within themselves but never has anyone voiced it out because... patriarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:06 AM
4

Same... it's like Jasmine breaking out into a song "A whole new woooorld". After all the hormones that I'd dumped in my body since I was 18, I realized "oh shit this is what a woman should normally feel like?" My libido was out of control for a year or two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:58 PM
10

They throw out "broken toys". Gotta upgrade to a newer sleeker version.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:55 PM
112

I don't really want a commitment. I just want to know that I'm not fucking the community dick... because you know... I value my health above all. It's not that hard to understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 07:57 PM
5

I've watched her tedtalk about porn and the society now and this woman is fricking amazing. She is fighting the good fight for the next generations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 06:18 PM
4

You can do so much better. Find someone who makes time for you, not someone who makes you feel like you're the loser when it's the other way around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 04:07 AM
18

All the single 34m dating younger women... it means they couldn't find a woman their age that they can manipulate. In your 30's, a woman is more discerning. Even if you say you are more mature and responsible for your age, 21 is still way too inexperienced. This man is taking advantage of you and will take advantage of you. It's very predatory behavior to purposely seek out younger women to date. Doesn't matter what they look like, the age gap is a glaring red flag. Be careful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:20 AM
29

This analogy made me laugh so hard, thanks sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:08 AM
29

He doesn't respect her as a partner, or even a human being who has a worthy opinion. Wish she'd get out of there before he erodes her sense of self worth completely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 08:18 PM
30

I got heated reading this because I know a dude exactly like this. Played the nice and gentlemanly act to secure his harem of pickmeishas. Would constantly talk about how they were so in love with him and they just could not stop catching feelings for him. They all think that they aren't fuckboys because they aren't lying or pressuring anyone for sex. They all think they're so suave and smooth. They know full well that when you fake niceness and affection, women catch feelings and affection. And…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 10:52 PM
37

It totally should. He's basically coaching how other men can easily have a rotation as well by faking empathy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 10:46 PM
4

This post. He may be nice to you because you have your life put together and there are a lot of things about you he could make use of. Especially if you haven't slept together yet. Especially if you own your own place, make your own money, pull your own weight, are emotionally stable and can offer him support to get his own life together. But even if he were a genuinely good person, all the things you listed out would drive you nuts because you constantly feel like you would need to help him get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:32 PM
24

Ayyt then
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:12 PM
9

"I mean yeah it's pretty obvious to me and the boys that when you wear a mask in this global pandemic it means you like getting your ass fucked regularly by other men, Steve"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:11 PM
13

I have years of journaling that I regularly go back to to remind myself how far I've come. It's good to have these reminders, we're never stagnant and we keep on growing to be stronger women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:08 PM
44

Thanks for sharing your story. But I noticed that your picture and your parents' pictures are in your profile. I would be cautious about posting here especially with this type of content with so much personal stuff. Maybe post on a throwaway, just a suggestion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:05 PM
9

Agree with all of this 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:49 PM
27

It's like a movie about dumb girls that are bored hanging out in someone's room and someone says "i have an idea, what about instead of feminism lets fight for men's rights!" "Omg we're gonna be sooooo not like other girls, let's do it!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:41 PM
58

In my opinion, men who want to be cucked view their partner's body as an extension of their own. It's their pussy and their womb that they are offering to other men to "take". These men get hot thinking of "their bodies" (and by this, I mean their wives or so's) getting penetrated and impregnated by other men. Again another gray area. A cross into the 'well do you think you might be gay, dude?' category.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:31 PM
20

Lol I love the included footnote down below
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:13 PM
127

I'm not even thinking about the pregnancy, but the next level of escalation for this guy's perversion. She's eventually going to be coerced into sleeping with other men while he watches. So yeah he's waving his red flags for her and she should be running like the wind now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:11 PM
31

I think if they are treated well then they're fine. But as a former ignorant pickme, I had done everything for a man, and still didn't get what I needed that was bare minimum. That's when I woke up to the nature of men. I would say eventually, women wise up when they gain experience. But it depends on the culture and environment they are surrounded by too. Some cultures, you can have this mindset forever and never escape because that's just how marriages or partnerships are expected to play out.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:05 PM
3

Don't let anyone ruin your peace. Especially LVMs who deserve NOTHING more from you. Not a single second more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 03:57 PM
40

They had us in the first half ngl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 03:52 PM
7

Total power play, I'm happy you got the strength. Feels good when you stand up for yourself. It's like your inner voice saying "Finally!!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 03:48 PM
16

I could not breathe with that article. Brilliant clapback
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:24 AM
19

You'll make a killing with that app. And men actually have to research and work on how to pleasure us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:21 AM
161

My thoughts when I watched this, she has the Overly Attached GF expression on point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:18 AM
103

I'd honestly be more touched if he made the video
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:07 AM
3

Agreed, a covert one would be the exception
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:00 AM
14

Forgive yourself on not knowing better. The truth is we all learn from experience. No amount of warning us or reading about it will prepare you for getting your heart stomped on and broken multiple times. We like to believe the best in people. It's a risk that we take, and sometimes it doesn't pay off. But that's life. We get hurt. No ups without the downs. You just gotta pick yourself back up, start a gratitude journal if you can, and appreciate the moments that you feel happiness. When we get …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 08:40 PM
11

First of all, forgive yourself for letting him back in over and over again, and letting yourself be disrespected despite not deserving any of it. We all have our weak and vulnerable moments. Especially you, going through so much with your illness, you clung to the hope that this man can stay by your side and be your rock. The truth is, YOU are your rock. We cannot rely on other people to be that rock for us. We have to be that rock for us. I know you can do it, you've gone through so much. You a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 08:31 PM
14

You sound like you still put romantic relationships and men on a pedestal. Because you've failed once or twice, you think it's not for you or you're just not good at it. They just weren't the right person for you. You're still in that mindset of every girl has a Disney-worthy happy ending when that's not true. The perspective is in your mind is, "I'm a success, I've been good, I've followed the formula that society has dictated, why is the right man not coming along? What am I doing wrong?" You …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 08:14 PM
31

They can't stand being left, they have to be the ones to make the decision to let go or discard. LVM's/narcs are very insecure and have low self worth. Their validation must always come from external sources. The more supply, the better. The brighter and shinier the supply, the better. Take out the pickmeishas that keep them going, they're nothing, basically, just hollow human beings that need to suck people dry. Going NO CONTACT is the best way to deal with these vampires.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 08:00 PM
23

HVMs will want to take care of you as much as they can. It's in the nature of an HVM to provide for his SO/partner so she isn't worrying about things, he wants to make her happy, in essence. You have to understand what exactly makes you uncomfortable in this situation? - is it you? Do you have issues with accepting things because you think you don't deserve them? Are you not used to having people do things for you or give you things? - is it him? Is he the type to hold this over your head? Is th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:56 PM
34

By finding things in life that you need to do that are not related to men. Think about what you are good at. Think about a cause you are passionate for. Try and combine those two. Now that we're in isolation/quarantine is a good time to experiment on things we normally would do. This will stop you from ruminating about the past and will help give you a goal and focus for yourself to keep moving forward. Bonus you help other people and you may find your life's calling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:46 PM
110

LOL why do those cartoon faces look 100x better than the actual human being
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:40 PM
62

LVM: "Babe I was just sitting there eating breakfast and she threw herself at me! What is a man supposed to do!" Pickme: "OK, I know it's not your fault. There's just so many hoes out there. Wear this shirt next time."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:28 PM
14

I got the same thing. I sat on replying or not for weeks, but felt fear that he was going to show up in person or do something more drastic to get a reaction from me so I caved into replying a standard "I'm not ready for a relationship" so he'd leave me alone. Guess what, he stayed angry whether or not I replied, so it's best to JUST NOT REPLY and waste energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:08 PM
67

Can confirm, briefly saw a redpiller and this was his strategy as well. They go silent after setting up the date. It also ups your "anxiety" about how into you he is/how busy he is/how many other women he's seeing, so he has the upper hand when the actual date happens. Basically it makes you feel like you're not that important to him so you have to work harder to "prove your worth".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:05 PM
63

This guy is sponsored by some clown makeup brand
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:00 PM
110

They're narcissists trying to hoover you. You may have been really good supply for them and they can't find someone else to fill that void. Believe me, they've probably tried. You reply and it's an AHA! STILL HAVE HER! moment for them. Once you fall back into the old cycle, it's going to be the same ol' same ol'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 06:10 PM
4

This is my philosophy as well. I don't believe in giving ultimatums because they will eventually resent you for it. I just observe their behavior. I give two chances. On the third strike of disrespect, I'm out without so much as a backwards glance. I can't change a person. I don't expect to change a person. It just means he was the wrong one for me so I need to stop wasting time with him and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 06:02 PM
14

Plus the less you are authentic self (not sticking to your values and principles), the less happy you will be in life. That's really what we're all after in this world, happiness. We've been brainwashed to think that happiness equates to having a man by your side. It doesn't. The happiest (sustained and genuine) moments I've had has been when I've been by myself, free of obligations and responsibilities, so grateful for everything that's happened in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:52 PM
7

Went on two dates with a guy who was respectful and had HV qualities. Kind, communicative... Unfortunately I could sense he was more on a hunt for a good female influence for his daughter rather than dating someone for himself. I wouldn't mind that as long as he could see me as a partner and a woman, rather than as a potential mother and role model to his daughter first. Pass on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:41 PM
15

To be fair the posters at r/nofap give me hope
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:36 PM
6

Excellent meme, OP. We easily could use this format a million times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:35 PM
12

Reddit men: "Simp"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:34 PM
272

LOL Stephen Colbert nailed a skit on this One Direction song. God forbid women know they're beautiful and have confidence from it. LVM's hate self esteem in a woman because they know when a woman knows her worth, they won't match up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:28 PM
18

I know, this is giving me some flashbacks of what it was like to live with my ex. Dishwasher is clean, he wouldn't check and would just stack dirties on top of it. And I'm putting them away and I'm like WTF WHY ARE DIRTY DISHES HERE TOO. It was horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:16 PM
27

Go live your best life Rose...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:15 PM
478

"Effortless beauty" has always been a lie propagated and strengthened by the "cool girl" persona.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:11 PM
55

I cannot believe what he had to work with from the start by himself. This guy needs his own HGTV show, I would watch it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:09 PM
25

Second this advice. Double your locks, secure windows at night. I've laid low on social media as well for a couple of months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 03:26 AM
29

TF does "arch game" even mean
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 12:19 AM
28

"Hold frame" "Stop acting beta" I used to peek at that sub and would always laugh my ass off at their depression of the "broken plates" and all the advice would be "you've got oneitis, keep spinning plates". They all seriously end up depressed for a long time because they let a good woman walk away. Like dude, you just lost the love of your life because you refused to commit and realize your lifestyle of spinning plates is bullshit. Some people can't realize when they've got it good because they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 12:12 AM
6

Sex work made more accessible. And I'm not sure if people are aware, but depraved males regularly steal onlyfans content and share it with other men that are too cheap to shell out the $5.99 or whatever fee to get access to her. There's no winning in this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 06:04 PM
49

NVM logic: but she's getting muh peenis in her its a win-win situation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:21 AM
2

Upvoting for usage of Ms Trunchbull
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:20 AM
59

This sounds fake tbh. I cannot imagine any father tellinf his daughter to lower their standards. Or just the level of detail he goes into to critique her dating life. Like does this father not have a life of his own. He sounds like an LVM writing fanfiction for the upvotes once more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 01:54 AM
1

Biotin makes me get cystic acne unfortunately. Can't win. Take the pill and shed hair, choose between acne or thinning hair because you've fucked up your hormones lol. I'm off any hormonal BC thank jesus
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 01:43 AM
9

It's good because it's free advertising for us. So many women have joined here because they're talking about it with such vitriol, the women get curious and they find it's a good sub for us and puts women's interests first. BAD PUBLICITY = still publicity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 07:13 PM
22

My journey with finding the right birth control has been depressing and I'm willing to bet it's the same for all women. We get drier, we get depression, it feels like there's something weird down there, we bleed too much, we don't bleed at all, we get acne, we gain weight, we suffer from mood swings, we don't think about sex, we don't feel like women. Like you I pursued "lower hormone dosage" options, and it still had the same effect on me. Once I got out of birth control it felt like freedom. M…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 07:05 PM
10

Moms and older women just KNOW. I used to disregard their advice because pshhh what do these old women know. Silly me. Men will come and go but a solid support system (preferably made of HVW's) will always have your back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:48 PM
7

I don't know if I could have stayed in such good terms like Anne did, it says on the last line she was a woman of pragmatism vs principle. I guess if you wanted to stay in that court you'd have to do what she did. Personally I would have sold the manors and traveled elsewhere and lived a life of freedom. I would entertain the thought of regularly sending assassins to casually poison or maim my ex husband but maybe that's just me. Henry VIII = such a classic LVM. Nowadays you'd think men would be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:40 PM
49

They know they have nothing special so they have to resort to tricks and manipulation. One of the exercises I did (and I continue to do) which has made me realize how deeply ingrained misogyny was with me, and how much more lenient I was when it came to judging men vs women --- when I thought of a dude that I was so hung up over, I imagined he was a woman that I was comparing myself against. I thought about his accomplishments, his core values, the quality of his friendships, the way he treated …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:22 PM
3

He's after low hanging fruit, of course. Good thing you're not that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:04 PM
20

Nice to read stuff like this because it reminded me of my journey as well. I used to always bemoan the bad things that happened to me, but without those... I won't be who I am today. I won't have the insights and depth of knowledge I do about life. I'm glad you are where you are now as well. May we continue to work on towards the best version of ourselves!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:03 PM
29

Jackhammering. Can't find clit. Fingerblasting. Awkward oral sex. Trying to bend you like origami so "they can go deeper". 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:18 AM
2

I think it's normal to need external validation. We're human, it's a natural progression of things. It will only become an issue if you're listening to the wrong people, or you're letting your need of external validation override your actual wants and desires. I think if you can spend a lot of alone time, reflect on your core values. Who you are, what you want, what type of life you want to lead. There's a lot of things in life that we think we want, but we really don't, it's only because it's t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 03:50 PM
62

I don't like these videos AT ALL. Any young impressionable girl that watches this and has a hard time paying attention in school or being in school or finishing school will think why am I wasting time killing myself with schoolwork when I could be making money and living the glamorous life like this video? False advertising. They're marketing a life to others that they know is miserable and a falsehood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 05:25 AM
132

Woman: I'm really depressed lately. LVM: Well, sooooorry I'm just such a sucky partner that I can't make you happy Woman: Noooo you're the best baby
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 05:12 AM
18

The work I've done was to establish good rapport with everyone. And I mean everyone. I am genuinely curious about people, so I tend to ask a lot of questions, not about the job, but about their hobbies, the things they're into. I'm a very good listener, so being a captive audience to someone who is talking about something they are passionate about, automatically makes you well liked in their eyes. And this isn't something I even thought about doing consciously. It's just something I've done my w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 04:52 AM
40

I got too obsessed to looking perfect whenever I stepped outside. To the point that it stressed me out to not look "on point". I was focusing too much on the external and it was killing me, I knew it wasn't me, I actually toned it down and am now at a point where the things I do (hair, makeup, outfit) are based solely for my pleasure, instead of impressing other people. The pandemic has helped solidify the things I do for myself too. Of course, it's nice to look your best all the time, but for m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 01:46 AM
6

God he looks so gross and she's all cute. Why waste your time on this man, sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 01:08 AM
8

I had my friend do a reading for me and it was pretty accurate and had great advice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:33 PM
11

I'm sorry you went through that but I am so glad this happened now before you wasted more time. Take time to yourself, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 11:31 PM
21

Same. We should have more empathy especially since s lot of us understand where she came from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 03:36 PM
94

This pandemic has made my dream life even more pronounced for me. I realized that in life, all I really would like is a cottage at the outskirts of town, growing herbs and vegetables and baking my own bread. Every once in a while would love to have like minded women over for tea/coffee and cookies or something. Or trade vegetables for someone's butter or yogurt. But I want a quiet life where I can just make a campfire and dance naked, grow what I want to grow, read my books, write my novels, coo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:15 PM
31

My mom was "you should try harder", "grin and bear it" type of person. She is a very kind and compassionate person, still one of my role models when it comes to resourcefulness and hardwork. However I thought that staying in a bad situation and tolerating it was the norm. I thought I had zero autonomy over the things in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:06 PM
3

The more attractive you are the more objectified you are. There's a lot of misconception around being an attractive women. You get a wider selection of men after you but that also means more depravity like this. And even when you think you've found a good prospect, it won't be long until these 'nice' men prove based on comments that they are only after how you look first and foremost. Personality doesn't even factor on the choice, it's just a bonus. And most of the time they've already assigned …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:00 PM
3

Never have I been so happy to live without a man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 08:52 PM
8

Mood for life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 04:12 PM
45

My ex's love language was being left alone. I felt like a neglected pet/plant most of the time. I was a social creature but when we lived together I turned more introvert/hermit like. I didn't realize how lonely I really felt until years later I realized I wasn't in a relationship but more of just a roommate and we did things together once in a while. Yeah later on when we split he apologized and said something was wrong with that. No kidding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:50 PM
78

And they say we're the gold diggers. Projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 11:51 PM
5

Is this posted on superfans because I'm ready w my popcorn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 09:53 PM
7

Libfem: You think you control the outcome of the game but you don't know or refuse to acknowledge that the game is rigged. The only way to win the game is not to play.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:53 PM
11

Can someone explain why this is the trend with the youth these days? Does every man just want to be mommied nowadays, I'm seeing it more and more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:42 PM
41

Reminds me of the fuckboy bingo recently posted here. Where is the factory that is mass producing these fuckboys, it needs to be destroyed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:37 PM
19

We should just send a link of this thread to those FDS superfans messaging us. Maybe it'll inspire them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:16 AM
13

Quality post, I liked doing that exercise for determining core values. I completely agree, it's important to have unshakeable core values. A lot of us are coming from bad experiences or relationships that we wouldn't have been in so long if we've identified whar our core values are. No matter who comes into your life, what experiences you have, you know yourself and the decisions that will make you feel good about being you. And you will like yourself more and more as each day goes by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:59 AM
26

Can we just let Darwinism play out plz
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:06 AM
73

26 is so young, love. You have all the time to meet someone better. There are soo many people and experiences out there for you. You are having a hard time right now because you're thinking of all the years you spent with him, but you need to think about yourself first. No one will love you as much as you. You cannot beg for someone else's love, especially someone who has proven time and time again they don't value you or respect you anymore. Nothing is meant to last forever. It's time for you t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 04:52 AM
25

Ugh I seriously wish there was a website we could post names, cities and ages of these N/LVMs we have dated IRL so we can all avoid them like the plague.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 10:56 PM
77

This is the cutest thing I've read today
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 02:07 AM
53

More posts like these please. Very inspiring
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 07:50 PM
27

You really have to experience life to see the truth of where women stand in society. What happens to your sisters. To lump us all as "angry feminists" means she doesn't understand anything yet. Unfortunately she's still too young... and brainwashed. She'll get there eventually and I hope she can look back at this old post and say WTF was I thinking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 07:41 PM
8

The one thing that changed me and got me to trust more people and reveal more about myself was going through a series of challenging personal issues. The reason I hid was because I didn't want people talking about me or my business. As I got older I realized that shit happens to everyone, people will talk anyway, and at the end of the day, they can say anything they want about me. I will still be me because I've found the strength to begin figuring out who I am.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 07:19 PM
7

A lot of men are behaving like caged animals at this point. By the time quarantine lifts it's going to be some sort of "release the kraken" scenario
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 07:15 PM
14

Years ago when I used to believe more in MBTI, it was INFP. Which struck people as odd because the descriptions are always "adorable cinnamon roll". I am very sensitive to everything but I have a lot of walls. So I come off as more "logical thinking" type, I try not to show emotions outward. Inside though it's very different, I feel a lot, I overthink a lot. If you know me from work I can come across as really charming, but you will definitely feel I keep people at an arm's length. The moment I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 07:12 PM
24

This reminds me of me somewhat. The way I show I like someone is by teasing them a lot as well. For some dudes their ego can't handle it and they feel like they constantly have to be on their toes. I've also been told I am not "sweet" or "soft" like they expect me to be... I look feminine and am soft spoken. I think they expect me to play the part of openly affectionate and caring gf instead of having a more quiet reserve and just ribbing them for fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 06:54 PM
10

This needed to be said, that was so strange to read to press victims to do something they aren't comfortable doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 06:44 PM
3

Excellently written, thank you for this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 06:21 PM
14

Great excerpts, thanks for detailing these out. I'm going to have to get the book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 05:49 PM
2

I think I would say what makes someone a high value love interest is that they put time and effort into ME. If some guy was putting time and effort into another girl, they aren't adding a high amount of value to my life if that makes sense. Spot on, can we all agree on this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:26 AM
5

I really hope you're ok OP. Be kind to yourself, that is the most important thing to do for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 11:56 PM
6

Yes on the list. I think we aren't human if we don't keep thinking of these people we've connected with during our lives. Especially during these times we tend to be nostalgic, have a lot of regret, think of reconnecting, be more forgiving. But looking back at the list will keep you more logical than emotional. Acknowledging that we still have feelings for them (and that will take time to sort out) but at the same time acknowledging that we are putting our needs first and we're protecting oursel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 11:01 PM
3

Love this comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 10:56 PM
133

I'm sorry this happened to you. And yes please see a therapist to process what happened. Sometimes when we are in our homes and vulnerable we never think that something off would happen, or things would go an unpredictable way. And then there is that out of body moment where you go "wtf is happening, do i make a scene?" I've stopped doing more frequent walks in my neighborhood because I've been noticing some shady dudes just eyeing me. For some reason this pandemic makes me feel really unsafe an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 07:43 PM
37

It was inspiring and eye opening for sure. The trope is from "men's anxieties", so very true. And then there's always that complete opposite, that good woman trope that the man falls for after his experience with the femme fatale. And all of these, why movies have given us these messages, is under prescriptive guidelines. Who controls these guidelines to the story? Men of course. "Be a good girl, stick to childbearing, motherhood, pleasing your man, and this won't happen to you".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 05:28 PM
27

This was a good watch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 05:19 PM
15

People around you must have wondered BuT WhY CaNt ShE KeEp A mAn ThErE mUsT bE sOmEtHiNg WrOnG wItH hEr. I know because I grew up hearing this as a child when adults were having discussions. So well until my early twenties if there was a single lady in her 30's 40's, I always thought "I wonder what is wrong with her". It's not til you go through the experience that is MEN, that it finally dawns on you, oh that's why women choose to not marry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 04:52 PM
28

OLD is a breeding ground for predators. For abusers and narcissists. They can treat women so horribly, use them for sex a couple of times, form trauma bonds with them, and when their "victim" finally wises up, they go back to OLD to go fishing again. For a lot of these men it is definitely just a game. And the sad part is when we women get our of a relationship, we are told immediately by the people in our lives to put ourselves back there. "Download tinder. Download bumble! You just need to swi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:59 PM
36

I hope she realizes how dumb this dude is and leaves. Good luck with those delusions. LVMs gonna LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:54 PM
31

That "gronk" has me dying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:49 PM
24

I'm grossed out but also impressed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:47 PM
38

Lol yes this is perfect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:40 PM
439

When we relate our stories of abuse, rape, neglect, trauma, we are "damaged goods", "daddy issues". But when it comes to them we're expected to understand, have empathy and CoMmUnIcATe no matter how shitty their behavior is. 😒 To LVM, they are the only ones that exist as three dimensional characters while women just orbit around the narratives of their lives as the flat supporting vagina-having characters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:21 PM
34

This comment. If we were left to ourselves, just a community of women we'd be letting our hair go wild dancing naked under the moonlight around a fire. Women just don't know how much power we own. If we all started rejecting LVM in our lives simultaneously they'd need to reset the default behavior. To really work on being HV to meet our standards. The way we've been conditioned to work hard, to meet their standards, when it should have been the other way around. But for centuries the patriarchy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:33 PM
69

Dogs are always used as props in their stupid ass profiles. The dog hasn't done anything to warrant being an accomplice in your low value shenanigans sir.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:18 PM
32

We really need to stop forcing that formulaic life down everyone's throat. Like just stop feeding images of "happily ever after" to little girls that it means getting paired up and living with a man and giving birth to kids. At this point it still feels like in society's eyes you aren't successful if you haven't settled down with a husband and kids. You could be CEO of some multi billion dollar company, have solved the issue of world hunger, but society will still pay so much attention to a. You…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:08 PM
2

I love baking it's been so relaxing for me to do it while stuck here at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 09:17 PM
2

Very inspiring reply
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 09:12 PM
7

Can attest. This was the firsr requirement for the narc that I briefly saw. All the women he plated had to be loyal. That's how it usually is when you have control/power issues and think you're god
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 06:19 PM
22

5 yrs is some dedication Edit: wHy DoN't YoU jUsT GiVe HiM a ChAnCE sIs YoUrRe GoNnA EnD Up AlOnE *Man it's exhausting to type like this I don't know how you guys do it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:15 AM
14

I didn't even have to check to see who posted this, I just knew lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 05:17 PM
115

This. I read someone's comment here recently... "love them from a distance." I will always love and care for the people I let in my life, despite the hurts and disappointments. But we weren't meant to be together because they didn't know how to love me like I needed to be loved. Doesn't mean I've stopped loving and caring for them, it would be a lie to say you can just cut off feelings like that. But... I've learned that I love myself more and understand that nor all people are good for you, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 05:10 PM
166

Exactly. I used to be one of those "I follow what my heart wants" women. Because... feelings. Because to me I didn't have the strength to wallow in sadness and loneliness to break an unhealthy relationship off. I finally woke up and realized how less lonely it is to be alone, than belong in a bad relationship. I used to always stare at my ex husband's back before I went to sleep and when I woke up, always thinking "is this what life should be? Because it's so damn disappointing and hollow and lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 05:04 PM
44

Good. Think of it as a good spring cleaning of the people you surround yourself with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:31 PM
140

He was negging you btw. A well mannered man would say "my friends are players and I wouldn't set them up with you because you're too good for them" But yes steer clear of this dude and his 'alpha' friends. Birds of the same feather.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:29 PM
123

I can't blame her becuse our conditioning as women is we must please our man or we are useless. Anal sex is just one of the things we've accepted and normalized. Saying that it is pleasurable to you too is part of coping for some.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:16 PM
223

Was thinking the same thing like that's not a normal thing for gynos to comment on. Wtf. She must already have a prolapsed anus or something 😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:13 PM
195

Don't take dating advice from someone who uses terms like "alpha"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:11 PM
29

He says in one of his videos... "You don't want to be with a man that is driven by regret. You want to be with a man who is driven by appreciating you."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:08 PM
84

Noticed these too about blue collar men. Good work ethic and way more gentlemanly than the white collar tech bros I've had the bad luck to encounter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:31 PM
5

I think what I meant was to me if you are rich, you still don't meet my standard. Because I'm looking for other traits other than wealth. We were being standard shamed for not bowing down to some supposed HV who pays for her bills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 07:52 PM
8

Yes i think it's a key difference. Wealth does not equate generosity. It's generosity that is an HV trait
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 07:48 PM
1

But we were the ones standard shaming lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 07:27 PM
5

Men are all aware that money equates power. Back to my original saying that to them everything is a transaction. Someone handing you money "with no expectations" is a very naive outlook. There are things that are going to be too subtle for that. It's not going to be outright as sex. It could be your company. A favor. Spending time with them. Just losing your ability to give them a definite NO because you're gonna think "ah shit he's paying my rent I gotta go that thing with him." There's no free…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 07:18 PM
11

The most triggering thing about that post was "omg you have just never experienced HVMs paying for your stuff without expecting anything in return" 🙄 Ok baby girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:59 PM
3

I remember that thread and kept thinking yeah he did something and is guiltily paying her off
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:57 PM
13

And you feel so bad because you're sick and you want to cook and help. Note it seems as if this is the first time too that she couldn't do it because of her nausea. From being pregnant!!! The selfishness of her LVM husband bleeding from this post is just astounding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:37 PM
26

Men will cry about strong women not making them feel needed, but as soon as they're actually needed, they're resentful of it. You hit the nail on the head. My ex whining "well you don't need me since you're Ms Independent" all sarcastically. And in the same month to the marriage counselor "i can't take out the trash and wash dishes because I'm too stressed about everything going on with my work deadlines" Fuck. Off. Lazy selfish entitled bastards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:35 PM
19

I dont eat junk food
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:24 PM
22

I'm so glad to be where I am right now, I cannot imagine being so stressed at work and then coming home to this shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:14 PM
205

We need more men normalizing this. Instead we get 'men' chiding each other on being simps for treating women with basic decency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:08 PM
109

We've been in a relationship for a year... he's still not sure if he likes me... This whole post is fucking confusing. Is it just a relationship in her head? Wat. He doesn't even know if he likes her? Lord!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:05 PM
29

There's a thin line between being forgiving and compassionate and being sacrificial and self destructive. Be forgiving and compassionate to those that deserve it. So many of us get stuck in that cycle with these men. "Maybe it will be better this time". Whatever happened the first, second, third time will most likely happen again. Notice these trends and learn what you can and cannot live with. If it makes you unhealthy, unhappy, then I hope you find the strength, courage, the tools and the supp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 05:21 PM
106

Wrong on so many levels but most offensive was that "rape survivor", a situation you have absolutely no control of, is included here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:19 PM
22

I think it just means don't be a doormat. It's not about being a nice girl or being a bitch. Just have boundaries and stick to them. People (both men and women) respect that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:17 PM
20

Literal man eater
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:14 PM
14

This was lovely, I love this sub for messages like these especially when people like OP need support. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 12:55 PM
3

OMG!!! I've been chuckling for five minutes now because I was such a fan of the first MIB and this guy's performance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:36 AM
6

Post on r/FDSSuperFans We don't want to give them more unnecessary and undeserved attention here...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 09:38 PM
24

Ugh I haven't gone back as I've realized my presence and friendliness became more of an entitlement for them. If I don't feel like being chatty or smiling, or if I just have a neutral face on, suddenly there's something wrong with me. I have stopped enjoying the hobby because it became more about how I should look and behave with all these men around me so they don't get the wrong idea (on extreme ends you're either a flirt and the other one is you're a bitch for not giving them attention). It s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 09:28 PM
110

Same, I treat men and women the same. I actually am warmer towards women because I'm always on the look out for a soul sister. Men I am just polite, and I make small talk, but if it's anything that is remotely a positive emotion, they get this look on their eye, and you ladies know what look that is. I've been told by a dude at my male dominated hobby that I am too friendly and men will get the wrong idea. I've stopped going there but I don't want to hold myself back. Fuck them if they get the w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 08:55 PM
61

It drives home for me that we give them our youth, our bodies, our dreams, and our futures. We give them the children they helped make. And when we’re gone, it’s like replacing someone on the assembly line. We’re a function, a role to be recast after we’re written out of the story. Well said. I am going on a year being alone after a 15 yr LTR, it didn't take my ex long to find a new girlfriend (less than 3 months) to replace me. It's reinforced this to me. I was there because of the function I s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 08:32 PM
64

You are doing great. Remember the strength it took to take this leap for yourself. And it is a leap of courage. Respect that new person you found in you, the one who said "enough". That person is now wiser, stronger, more beautiful. You now recognize how good life can be and how much better you deserve to be treated. It will be hard going forward but not as hard as whatever it took you to leave. Keep coming here and keep encouraging people like you as well. Cheers to your new life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 04:14 PM
3

I'm glad I went back to this thread and reread the comments. This one is eye opening and yes the term empath is praised in some online circles but in our times has no benefit to us. It has just made people take advantage of our giving/listening ability. Solid advice in this whole comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 02:35 AM
100

Guys get Queer Eye makeovers from men who look like they have their shit together and we get the neanderthals to critique our appearance. Cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 10:04 PM
17

I read this a long time ago, and reread it out loud to myself. There are so many good lines to that poem. This one is one of my favorites: "Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 08:39 PM
19

Love this and that unexpected twist at the end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 08:08 PM
73

I think at least one hand needs to be holding his dick and then this is an accurate portrait
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 08:05 PM
46

Oh sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 08:04 PM
4

This 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 08:03 PM
38

Asserting yourself as a person separate from them (our own needs, our own dreams, our own desires and preferences) is a surprise to many. We're supposed to be the sidekick to their story, the supporting character, our lives central to the hero and his mission. I find that this is so true for men who didn't really bother to get to know you, but just attached an ideal of you in their head. So it's always a huge paradigm shift for them to think "oh wait what? You're not following the script, it say…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 07:36 PM
21

Why we need to raise the bar and draw boundaries
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 07:23 PM
56

I'm empathic and reserved and have been labeled as shy, nice, quiet. As people get to know me more, the more I'm comfortable with them, they get to know how mean and dark humored I can be. It's just much more subtle. You don't need to change a thing. Just the fact that you're aware that you could be a magnet for people that want to take advantage of you just means you have to have a stronger bullshit filter, stronger boundaries. A stronger core. People aren't all what they seem anyway, why shoul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 05:55 PM
96

Once you've found the courage and strength to say "no, that's enough", you are the devil incarnate to them. How dare you not let them keep on taking what they want??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 05:40 PM
31

Props to you ladies for not budging!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 02:34 PM
105

Accuracy is over 9000
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 02:00 PM
24

This was a good analogy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 02:48 AM
4

It didn't just "sort of", it really did. Some girls here will just pickme for any man who opens his wallet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 02:38 AM
3

Yeah that was some condescending shit written in there we can't possibly understand her level of thinking because we've never had rich guys pay for us without strings attached. Good for you, sis. I see you hustlin'. My hustle is on a different level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 01:58 AM
11

Exactly. Next month's post on relationship sub: Found Out The Guy I'm Dating Is Still Paying His Exes Bills 100% you know the comments here would be "Drop him sis he's sleeping with her" "OMG he's still in love with her and cheating on you" "Block and delete that LVM" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 01:41 AM
28

No it's not. You don't know the reasons of why he's taking care of her bills. Could be guilt. Could be an unsaid agreement as a hold on her. This isn't a no strings attached arrangement, I'm sure. Having a man pay for your stuff does not equate being an HVM where is that conclusion even from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:59 AM
11

I have a milder experience to this because I got out quick, and when I try to piece together what happened throughout the years, it reads like a suspense/thriller novel too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 08:35 PM
15

Yep. Let's not pretend we haven't dated those guys that create fake accounts to stalk our social media online because we know guys like these
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 08:34 PM
11

Same here. I'm trying to figure out whether it's because we're conditioned to think "he hasn't given up, he really wants to be with me" means that the relationship is meant to be and that means that he is going to do his damndest to make it work. But there's a definite line between working hard to court a woman and stalking/being a sociopath who won't take no for an answer. Sometimes we just can't tell because FEAR and UNEASE have the same frissons that excitement/arousal produces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 06:34 PM
50

You can tell how badly her self esteem has taken a hit because she finds it romantic and flattering. "I am wanted" "I am so special he went through these lengths to get me" A person with a healthy view of things would find it disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 06:03 PM
19

Can attest. My ex would buy me big ticket items and think "that's enough to placate her until the next holiday" and then put zero effort in everything else. No dates, no chores, no affection, no sex. It's like they see throwing money is the best way to resolve the problem when the problem is within themselves and how they see their partners. It's easier to spend money than dig deep and want to change after all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 05:57 PM
18

Cash App needs to have less space for text then. Make him send more cash to get all his shitty apologies out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 05:54 PM
34

A woman wouldn't feel like the dude is punishing her for something. I bet he really used speeding to passive aggressively punish her for something he saw her do that he didn't like during the party. Breaking up with him was the right thing to do 100%, you tell a man your Kryptonite and for them to use that to manipulate/control you the first chance they get just reveals what kind of person they are. At least she got away, and got away early. Be careful what you reveal ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 05:48 PM
69

Yeah it feels like reading a novel but I've had some experience with really Machiavellian guys like this. They like scheming when they really want something. Her husband is a sociopath most likely...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 05:44 PM
18

Agree with Ms Tilly. I've been through this. When you sense a pattern, it's not going to change. If you are unhappy with your situation, you need to do something about it. For me, I was getting anxiety, not eating, the times he'd push me away I felt low/angry/unworthy. If a man makes you question your self worth like that, time to dump him. You deserve better. And by better I mean taking the time for some self love better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 01:31 PM
54

"We can fix it with hard work and God" Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 01:13 PM
12

Hah yea I've entertained this thought as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:29 PM
36

Not every friend is meant to be a friend for life. You outgrow them. You discover a strength in you that makes it evident you've outgrown them and it makes them resent you, subconsciously most of the time, for the insecurities they have. Not everyone looks inside themselves and asks why they have such negativity towards a certain subject. I read somewhere that whatever you dislike about something or somebody says something about you. Most likely it reflects something in you, a hidden desire, a p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 04:26 PM
3

Send it and then block. I would want to know shit like this especially if I were about to get married. At least she has a choice to call it off or not. At least she knows what type of guy she is saying "I do" to. He'll say some shit like "I was getting cold feet but I realized my love for you" and placate her to continuing this sham, but at least you've exposed to her the type of things he's capable of. I doubt she'll walk away but... at least you are giving her an out if she needs one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 03:58 PM
53

LMAO That "sis" from the sidelines
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 03:52 PM
66

Bless this post. My thoughts exactly. We now have the option to live a peaceful drama free life as single women. I am currently financially independent, able bodied, own my own lovely place, have cultivated strong friendships with women throughout the years, and doing well in my career. Right now during weekends, the hardest questions I face are "hmm what do I want to bake/read/watch/create today?" It would be so hard to leave this right now especially since I've lived the life on the other side…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 02:36 PM
15

I love the way this was written
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 02:26 PM
12

Brad’s tiny bee stinger 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 12:10 AM
92

You're on a roll today, I'm dying with these posts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 11:55 PM
226

Someone DM her this sub please
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 11:13 PM
25

Lol if he only knew. But it makes them feel better to fantasize that the truths laid out here are typed by trolls that look like them. Whatever helps them sleep at night 😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 10:53 PM
22

He's holding on to that "she wants to see my reaction" like she is only with the other guy to make him jealous. What a cope! Too bad so sad dude!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 10:48 PM
47

Also called his mom to have her reassure him he's still a good boy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 10:35 PM
54

Read his posts. Typical story of toxic abusive scrote who finally gets left by a woman too good for him. Hope she finds peace in her life and gets a restraining order on this asshole if he contacts her again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 10:34 PM
55

Stop trying to manage and maneuver toxic people in to good choices that benefit you. Yup. Stop trying to change toxic people if they can't find the strength to be self aware and correct these within them. Trust me I already did my time with someone I thought I could control because I had fucked up notions of what love was. To quote something I read from here, if you were thirsty would you drink a glass of water with a drop of poison in it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 10:31 PM
7

I love this comment seriously
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:41 PM
20

Agreed. My worst damage happened when I jumped right back in the dating pool when I should have been using that time to regroup lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:39 PM
2

As always, I will comment when I read these posts... "I LOVE THIS SONG!" 😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:37 PM
4

Ummm yes. I'm halfway through this life rn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:24 PM
11

How fiscally responsible is he? He could be a high earner but be gambling, shopping, or just not thinking of the future when it comes to finances. If he is putting a strain on your finances while you're earning well, to me, that is a sign that I would never be happy. A woman desires security and stability first and foremost. If he is fiscally responsible but you are the higher earner, do you think this will be a point of contention between you two. Would you resent him for it, would you feel lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:19 PM
50

Why can't men just be normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:11 PM
60

Being single is so peaceful. Like yes there is that occasional moment where you go man I wish I had someone to witness this with me. But then I remember all the heartaches, pains, the insecurities, the lost time and money, the tears, the anger, the feeling of being used, the gaslighting, negging, manipulation, cheating. I have nothing to show for. Not one of these men I have been with have helped me with money, career, networking, travel, stability, security. I did those things for them not the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:08 PM
37

Slow and steady wins the race. Let them hustle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:04 PM
72

Tbh it's so easy to replace someone so low effort but thinks their shit is all that. I don't give af if you have a white collar job, dude. You're a boring misogynistic douche who can't even find my clit. There's a reason we need to take the likes of you out of the gene pool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 07:02 PM
10

It's perfect, I could not stop laughing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 06:58 PM
12

Amen. They should be the ones working to prove why we should choose them. To me, it's already a given that I take care of myself, my career, my friends, my family, my emotions and spirituality, my hobbies are bomb AF. The right one will recognize that instead of ask you stupid shit like this. Words don't mean shit anyway you can literally advertise yourself in any way and it could be all lies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:15 PM
13

Yup these are usually your porn watchers so the limpdick is a given
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:11 PM
24

Oh. My. God. The brainwashing is a complete success for this woman. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:04 PM
29

Yup, all the efforts suddenly come out when you're walking away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 03:49 PM
6

I like this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:47 PM
12

At the end of the day, WE ARE NOT TRAINING MEN. Focus more on you and how rejection teaches YOU to raise the bar. 🎯🎯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:38 PM
17

I hate everyone involved in this link/story. Not you, OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:33 PM
7

Reading your comment below I feel like your brand of assertion/aggression resonates with me as well. I hate being under estimated and being seen as frivolous, especially at work by my male counterparts. I am still working on this... my first instinct is to always "i need to make it known I am smart and they can't just view me as a dumb woman in here". I hate that we have to do this constantly, we have to prove that we know our shit, because to a lot of them by default, we either got to where we …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 07:55 PM
3

This made me laugh for a good minute. Thanks OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 05:31 PM
180

The bar is so.... There is no bar tbh. I feel so sorry for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 04:38 PM
13

As long as you accept yourself, and accept the way other women are if they do decide to dress up, it's all good. You are being true to yourself, there is nothing 'bad' about that. Quite the opposite actually! If you are happy with the way everything is for you, I wouldn't change a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 04:26 PM
20

I can hardcore relate to this post. I used to equate being girly and feminine as being weak and not being taken seriously. I wanted to prove I was smart, I was great, I wanted to be recognized by men that I was worthy of being alongside them. So I rejected everything that made it seem like I should be hanging out with the girls when I wanted to hang out with the guys because they were so much cooler. How I cringe at these memories but it is built from a patriarchal culture where all decisions we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 03:32 PM
11

Like the movie we're just tryna escape a patriarchal society tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 04:57 AM
18

Witness me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 03:42 AM
36

Then for some reason once the car dealership goes oh no there's been some mistake, we need to take that car back. Or they lose that car because obviously they don't take care of it. Guess what they do? LVM will look back on those days they drove it going "I miss my Porsche". "That was the best car I ever owned" and will reminisce like some stupid ass instead of appreciating what they had during that moment, recognizing the worth of the car, and actually maintaining it 🙄 It's terrible to compare …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:28 AM
67

How do I upvote this ten times. So very true. They always will play mind games to try to keep you and "know your place". They're still running game when they hook you in. So an LVM no matter what you do, no matter how gorgeous you are, how much money you make, how many squats and acrobatics you can make on his dick, will always make you feel you aren't good enough. They know they ain't shit so they have to resort to some kind of pyschological machinations to keep you thinking they are the best y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 12:31 AM
24

Wish there were a "hard pass" option so they'd get some feedback
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 09:25 PM
7

Amen sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 03:44 AM
41

But he works for a woman owned business... you guyzzzz 😍😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 10:49 PM
27

👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 05:03 PM
122

I will have to say it depends. I will look at what accounts they are following. If it's mostly women then yes, you know what their brain is like. I have married men I know following hundreds of instagram models and it personally disgusts me. I know some guys who use their accounts for their hobbies and they follow accounts in line with their interests (that aren't women). I wouldn't write those men off yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 10:43 AM
19

Not only do you have to wade through LVMs but you have to constantly battle women (pickmeishas and insecure/jealous women and the like) and prove that you got everything you worked for by working hard, you're not trying to flirt with or steal their boyfriends/husbands, you're not stuck up based on how you look etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 04:31 AM
19

100%, all of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 04:26 AM
41

He can't even watch how he acts with her while on a livestream imagine how he is when it's just the two of them, my God.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 04:12 AM
35

That hurts. Mine doesnt say she blames me but she told me I should have been more patient with my manchild ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 04:08 AM
28

What the fuck?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 04:06 AM
5

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:48 PM
3

So not just appearance for me, but habits, hobbies... since I started living by myself, it took me a while to unlearn habits... it took me questioning oh wait why am I doing this, I don't actually need to do this, I don't even like doing this. Fuck that noise! So yes, getting away from family, ex husbands, ex LVMs has made me realize how amazing it is when you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. It's so freeing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:38 PM
23

"Eh." I find that non Canadian men who use this "...eh?" always think they're smarter and more special than they think they are when in fact they're just gross dime a dozen edgelord types. Ugh. Perfect response OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:34 PM
15

Whenever I read fictional shit like this I always yell "ugh shuuuuuut uuuuuuup". What a load of crap. Low value man gets rejected by woman with standards. In other news, water is wet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:31 PM
6

This happens to me from time to time. And it's been a while. I still find myself getting teary eyed at the oddest moments when I can just be making coffee. I let myself cry and let myself feel the things. It is not as strong as most times but it comes and goes. The same way you would smile when you recall a happy memory for years to come, there are memories like that that would stop you and give you that reaction. Know that it's okay. It's part of you. Part of life. Part of being human. We all h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:29 PM
16

I agree with all of these and support Keanu as a flair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:25 PM
9

I use it in my head like whenever someone's trying to shoot their shot and they are just... NO. "What would my FDS sisters say, just eugh"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:21 PM
13

Yes i'm interested in the specifics as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 05:49 PM
35

My negative value ex would microwave himself dinner all the time without asking me if I wanted anything. This is after me cooking almost all the meals for his ass. If a man can't even ask if he can microwave a second share of dinner for you... my God. Left his ass and I made sure he knew his selfishness and lack of consideration for me was the reason why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 07:32 PM
76

I hate it when this happens. When they try to set you up and it's such an insult who they set you up with. Like is this what you think I should match it? Does it reflect your opinion of me? Which gives proof that they are not your friends in the first place because a. They don't really know you b. If they think they do, they think that's all you deserve c. You can tell which 'friend' they value more and in most cases it's the man. Fuck that shit. Screen friends hard af too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 07:21 PM
6

He is great, I've found myself learning something new at least in every video. He's very in line with what FDS says.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 03:20 PM
12

Bless this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 10:29 PM
96

"They're checking in if you're doing better". "They're just checking in if they're still your weakness". 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 10:04 PM
28

They want the rewards and automatic adulation of a woman without making the effort. Of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 10:12 PM
15

Yes yes yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 10:10 PM
43

That's why the hallmark of an HVM is kindness. Not just to himself but most especially to others, especially those who can do nothing for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 10:03 PM
29

This is the second screenshot in this sub I've seen in two days where people are lambasting their supposed LVMs but liking their messages anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 07:12 PM
67

My biggest mistake when I started dating again after a long term relationship was thinking the average man will be polite, respectful, considerate. Nope, from the beginning they are constantly testing what they can get away with. Especially if they know you like them. If it's not a red flag or a dealbreaker that deserves a walking away from, but still disrespectful or offputting, it's best to nip that behavior in the bud. Being a cool girl won't get you anywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 07:05 PM
69

Would you describe him as 'controlling?' Does it feel like he has a lot of say in what you do or say or how and where you spend your time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 01:38 AM
54

It's so good when they show their questionable morals right off the bat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:48 PM
86

You know his version to his friends was "she didn't satisfy my needs"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 09:56 PM
199

The dangers of LVM to your physical, mental, emotional wellbeing knows no bounds. OP should praise Jesus his/her mom is out of that mess. Imagine getting asked "why did you guys divorce" and you have to make up a reason because saying your sociopathic depraved husband cannot go a day without anal and you got tired of having fissures in your ass is too much for polite society. That marriage was a transaction from the beginning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 09:52 PM
10

Sorry I don't get this post? You were liking his messages, answering to 'dat ass' and saying 'haha' after he already started off sexual, and then apologizing for having a boundary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 09:35 PM
9

Ah yes I feel sufficiently called out. While I do enjoy a good roast especially LVMs in OLD, thanks for this reminder. We might need the mods to step in on these things as it might lower the standard for the sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 08:25 PM
18

Maybe it's a Lord of the rings roleplay thing IDK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:30 PM
53

See, you start dating them and giving them an ego boost and that's where they get the confidence to propose an open relationship and get on tinder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:28 PM
34

What is this, a peen for ants??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:26 PM
80

Top 2 mysteries unresolved in this world: the Bermuda triangle and where this man gets his confidence. Daily reminder that men like these still expect a "10/10 hottie" to be their girlfriend. Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:26 PM
10

r/murderedbywords
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:22 PM
15

You aren't the one to bring it up. Read the handbook, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 07:14 PM
3

Are you in touch with a therapist?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:50 PM
31

This is how girls are socialized though. A lot of upbringing is girls must clean up after everyone. Take care of everyone. Look after everyone. Be the cleaner and caretaker. All for that "you're a nice girl" comment, that pat in the back, as the people who benefit from your efforts continue to get you to do things without doing things for you in return. A useful girl is a nice girl. And it's heartbreaking that a lot of us can't just exist in this world and live for ourselves. If it makes her hap…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:48 PM
25

He gaslit you your whole relationship. Reread everything you wrote here and imagine this was a story your sister or your best friend told you. What would you tell her? That she deserves better. That she needs to love herself more. That her worth is not determined by who she is with but who she is now. You're currently alone and facing a lot of anxiety and stress with pandemic situation. So this is adding extra emotions because you are looking back at the past like it was the best thing. It wasn'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:43 PM
15

Male validation = conditional Actually any external validation = conditional Validation from yourself = nobody can take away no matter what happens. You get sick, you lose your beauty, you lose something, you gain something, you validating yourself that you're a badass and awesome individual in this world, and that you are a net good in this world, nobody has the power to take that away. Start a gratitude journal. What are you grateful about you and what happened today, what you did today? Learn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:30 PM
97

Boyfriend and family will reap the benefits from her efforts and will expect this type of shit from here on out. No thanks. If boyfriend's mom was an HVW and really appreciated her she would have screamed at her son to marry the girl already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:22 PM
22

What a piece of shit, good riddance. If he hasn't by now shown you his true colors, this is it. They say breakups will reveal the nastiest most selfish sides of people. I would chalk this up as a loss and don't ever reply or contact him. Don't stress over it anymore if you aren't hurting for money and let it go. Not worth the anger and annoyance but agree w Ms Tilly's comment below. If he does try to get in touch keep sending him money requests. Edit: I just reread your whole post and saw the st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:10 PM
19

Those tips are amazing. Especially the self validation ones, being fine with being misunderstood, and letting go of managing people's perceptions of you. Those are huge things on just learning to love yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 02:32 PM
16

Sounds like a dude that wasted my time for 6 months
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:15 AM
10

This article needs to be strewn across the globe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 02:54 AM
28

I love this and actually needed to read this to motivate myself to be more creative and create more content rather than consuming content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 02:43 AM
10

I agree, things are so bad for a lot of our sisters right now stuck with LVM and children, unable to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 01:49 AM
87

I noticed that too. "Overweight with somewhat attractive face" nah. Sounds like an incel wrote it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 10:22 PM
8

Hmm so far sounds nice, respectful, consistent. But do give it some time and keep observing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:47 PM
11

Excellent post. The Little Mermaid used to be my fave disney movie as a kid. Even there there was so much pickmeisha tendencies with the two women fighting over the prince. But we are surrounded by a lot of stories similar to this where the woman always gives up everything and follows her heart. No matter how hard it is going to be for her in the future... all these stories around us has warped us into giving it all up for love. And once he sees how much you've sacrificed, he will fall for you e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:39 PM
161

Welcome sis, I'm glad you are focusing on yourself and your healing. It will be a hard and long process so be patient with yourself. It's basically rewiring whar your mind and body have been used to. But I think that's why we're all here, we finally have started to love ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 09:24 PM
127

I had to look up what "onlyfans" is. I cannot keep up with all these platforms for jerking off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:14 PM
59

Christ on a stick ladies, STOP RESPONDING. If you gotta write or text something, do it to get it out of your system and send it to yourselves. Never to him. If you gotta yell at someone record a message and send it to yourself. Punch your pillow. Write in your journal. Vent to a friend. So many ways to direct those emotions. Never to a man. He has not proven himself. He does not deserve to get anything else from you. Get your power back. Silence is the most powerful thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:08 PM
30

Yep. Any attention, negative or positive, is still a high for them. Any response means you are letting him know he is on your mind and occupying your thoughts. Even in anger. They love that because any way they can have a lasting effect on you and be an unforgettable man to them is an ego stroke. Kill them with apathy. That's why the block and delete is a power move. It's the worst thing you can do to their ego, ignore, forget, move on. BLOCK and DELETE. No justifications and explanations necess…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:04 PM
42

Lizzy is probably one of us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 05:59 PM
35

Dudes be like "I mIsS yOu!" Me: Well if you didn't fuck up you wouldn't have to." A classic love story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 04:27 PM
40

They are the hugest drama kings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 02:00 PM
11

LVMs: "Why not both?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:46 PM
3

Glad you are out and well! Life can now begin. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:55 AM
29

My mother repeatedly tells me to kowtow to men, older people, relatives... strangers basically. It made me such a powerless individual from the start, I just learned how to finally take back my own feelings, needs, desires as an adult woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:48 AM
13

I understand and like I stated in the comment above, this post wasn't meant to shun people who are genuinely seeking support. We need to let people see the light. However people do have to have a little bit of self awareness. The posts are long because they are justifying his bad behavior with some of the good things he did earlier. Usually there is a narrative that the poster wants to get from posting that type of way and it's very easy to see the pattern. I would rather see posts like "i know …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:39 AM
7

Absolutely. This post wasn't intended to lambast people who are seeking support. One of the reasons I fell in love with this sub has been how supportive everyone has been. But if it's a poster who just wants to hear that she should give her man several more chances and refuses to listen when people point out red flags because he took her out on really expensive dates, then she is in the wrong sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:27 AM
20

I was just gonna say... this really is bare minimum behavior, damn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:01 AM
26

Good on realizing these. Especially trying to become hotter and hotter in hopes to catch that one guy's attention. Men who are all about just your looks won't be the type that will be good to be in a relationship with. A friendship is very vital for a basis of a solid relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:00 AM
7

A man who is truly interested in you will ignore all the signs and shoot their shot trust me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 06:44 PM
4

I only hugged some male coworkers (a select few) my last day at work. Hugging when you see them randomly is kind or weird, I'd only do that with a really close platonic male friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 06:43 PM
25

👏👏 i cannot believe he said "looks dont matter" and "you're not the most attractive." So glad she said those things. They need to be dragged. They lower your self esteem and cry to mommy when you hit them right back and let them know their peens don't really do it for you lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 06:40 PM
17

Any man with an active instagram with loads of selfies and actively following instagram models is a definite red flag for me. Narcissism as well as objectifies women. Men with a high social media usage just scream... I don't do a lot of real shit in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:23 PM
14

On the bright side the word "simp" can just be used as another tool to weed out LVMs. Let the pickmes fight over cooking their meals and washing their laundry as they watch porn and follow IG models.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:20 PM
75

What my ex told me after our divorce: "I'm sorry for wasting the best years of your life." He meant my youth. But... I'm in my early 30's and life has never been better. I am sans LVMs and it has been such a relief. My motto is "disregard males, acquire currency" at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:12 PM
18

Pickmeisha mother. Religious upbringing. Bullying. Insecurities. Patriarchal society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:09 PM
7

Ah ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:07 PM
9

The problem is media depicts the bad boy/asshole/brooding man behavior as desirable. He's cold to her but doesn't really know how to express himself but inside he's just full of pining and longing... The emotionally unavailable man who is just a teddy bear on the inside and all he needed to do was be exposed to her love and goodness. Or the guy who realizes his feelings for the woman once she finally gets married (i.e. Made of Honor). Or all those romance novels where the guy is a total rake/cad…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:05 PM
5

Any time I pulled away, they ramped up the nice guy act, which left me confused. Holy shit, yes. They do this so hard. And you do get confused because you think they really love you they just don't know how to show it. Or they have a 'good side'. Which is why 'consistency' is the key. It may not be as exciting compared to the highs and lows, but it is genuine and sincere affection. It means you're not with an abusive person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:55 PM
8

Same here it's psychologically damaging to give an abuser too many chances. Better to be well equipped with this knowledge so we recognize it early and can cut it off to protect ourselves. I do wish we knew this when we were younger. I had to share because I know a lot of us are struggling to get rid of abusive/narcissistic LVMs in our lives and it's hard when you're stuck in an abuse cycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 11:06 AM
34

Saw this on the narc subs. Not sure if this has been posted here but it should be very helpful in identifying red flags for an abusive man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 09:17 AM
47

Next time stop doing the asking and let them carry the conversation. These men are self absorbed/selfish, and if you ever get into a relationship with them, god help you, because it will be all about them. Your needs are secondary. There's a reason why women with low self esteem/people pleasers/empaths/listeners are loved by these pricks because we humor these selfish types by asking them about themselves. We think we're just being polite but they see it as omg of course she'd wanna know about m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:59 AM
8

Damn these were so spot on. The euphoria plus anxiety, check. It feels like it should be a good thing but your heart is pounding because your gut tells you that this person doesn't really genuinely like you. They like you for something you can give them. Anything deeply personal or a secret that can be used against you, they will get a look, more like a glint in their eye like "a-ha". Kind of like that trademark Mr. Grinch look when he smiles evilly. If they text and you don't respond in a timel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:54 AM
31

I think it's more of this. That you can fall and have feelings easily (not everyone's level of attacment or detachment is created equally), but you have to be able to be wise on knowing whether they are equally reciprocal or you're just being taken for a ride. It's more learning how to 'Step back' or 'Stop investing and detach.' And you have to have an abundance mentality and good self worth to be able to do these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 03:35 AM
1

Camo pants. Man hands holding a joystick. It's bros hanging out and gaming. He obviously owns this place because his two friends have their shoes on (probably because they know they'll catch tetanus).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:04 AM
12

It will be hard because you will keep questioning your decision whenever you feel lonely. Don't. You ended things for a reason, respect the feeling and decision your past self had done for the future you. When you did that you were thinking of freeing your future self from the pain, the disappointment, the disrespect. Sometimes you will look back at the "good times" and forget about the bad things he did. It's completely normal to even think about texting him back and stalking his social media..…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 02:12 AM
8

I want to be living in a quaint little neighborhood full of FDSers and we'd be going over to each other's places having tea/coffee and baked goodies, trading garden grown vegetables, books, and teaching each other shit like watercoloring and weaving/quilting. We'd be trading recipes, catching up with each other's lives, binge watching trashy reality shows together, and just being a good and empowering support. Experts in certain fields could start classes that could teach others how to do things…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 01:56 AM
18

Classic tale of LVM with 2 pickmes but why is it so ingrained in women to always go after the other woman instead of expecting their SO's to keep it in their pants. Like a man has autonomy he knows when he's cheating but chooses to do so. It's not because "that hoe threw herself at him and he just had no choice but to stick it in her whats a man gotta do". We've listened to this bullshit brainwashing for too long about a man can't be held liable when some hot young thing is grinding up against h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 01:45 AM
9

Lord Jesus one of them is even barefoot on that carpet that 100% has never been vacuumed since that LVM moved there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 01:34 AM
21

I have done "overinvesting and sudden withdrawal" by accident. A man I was in love with, let my guard down too fast too soon and I gave him everything. In a span of months he'd shown me his true colors and I got disillusioned. Just went cold and blocked him from all platforms. It's true they get addicted. And then they miss the attention, the validation, the sex, the texts. Realize they fucked up and will do anything to get back to the original dynamic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 01:30 AM
2

Beautiful. This is one of my favorite songs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 07:32 PM
41

Fucking hell, it made me so mad to read this, considering how much sacrifice healthcare workiers/essential workers are putting in these days. Considering how we all have to take precautions so that this thing will be over soon. How hard is it to give your vag a couple of weeks' break from getting dicked down? Jesus Christ. Please don't procreate. People like this are the reason why quarantine is going to get extended more and more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 07:20 PM
14

You just described my dream life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:03 PM
4

There are different ways to measure intelligence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:58 PM
6

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:58 PM
5

I love this song!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:56 PM
7

This dude things he got dumped just because of his porn usage and it's his girlfriend that is unreasonable. Based on his already biased perspective, we can see: -The porn usage -spending on cam girls. Its not just porn now but cam girls too! When you have a girlfriend. - the lying - the cussing (anger issues) - blatant disrespect -lack of empathy (her crying pissed him off) -selfishness And this is only HIS version. Imagine what other bullshit she's tolerated before this. He probably slowly erod…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:49 PM
14

Don't reply. Doesn't deserve your forgiveness. He's looking for absolution to still feel good about himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 08:11 PM
28

Good analogy. N/LVM is like a useless background app just leeching off your battery/energy/resources. You're literally carrying a parasite on your back and trying to reassure yourself this is fine! At least I'm not single and alone! When I got rid of LVMs in my life: - skin cleared up - focused on meal prepping and dieting so lost weight and got more fit - used my money not to fund him but shop for my clothes, makeup, skincare products, jewelry -stopped getting UTI's (!!!) - decreased anxiety fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:15 PM
95

Number one fuckboy tactic, tricking women that their dicks are special, they're so high in demand, their schedules are just sooo booked with pussy. Sure, Jan. Never fall for this scarcity mindset, ladies. Dick will always be abundant and low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 06:57 PM
58

Always want what they can't have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 04:21 PM
303

Omg they expect you to be like: nooo you're the best don't be so hard on yourself. Fell for this dialogue a bunch of times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 04:20 PM
162

Society needs a change on how they raise boys tbh. It's not getting any better with the advent of online dating, it's like pickmeism is at its all time high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:45 AM
29

We all know this. Unfortunately the hot/cold treatment is very addictive. And pickup artists/players have banked on playing with you psychologically using these tricks. That's why they breadcrumb you, we all get addicted to these breadcrumbs, waiting for the next hit. When it hapoens that high, that relief, that sigh... ahhhh he loves me, he likes me, he just doesn't know how to say it. Recognize when you're being breadcrumbed and played with. It's pretty easy. Think about how YOU would be when …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:32 AM
61

A man who deems you important will do something. They are problem solvers. So yes speaking by way of actions is how they would resolve your issue. If you're ignored, dead giveaway you know where you stand in his priorities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:25 AM
23

Any man who uses those terms 'alpha'.. run far far away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:21 AM
25

The limit does not exist. J/k: HVM consider you and put your safety and happiness first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:17 AM
7

I like this, where is this from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:15 AM
34

They refuse to understand things unless it happens to them or told to them in analogies they understand. It requires them to uncomfortably think about a perspective that won't suit their selfish needs at that time. It is incovenient. It's a very "got mine" mentality which is why we lived in a fucked world because it's run largely by men. It's like when you talk to a kid "okay timmy it's bad to steal things from other people. Imagine your favorite toy and Johnny took it from you, how would you fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:15 AM
8

Yep it's the attention and the ego boost for them. "Got her". I don't blame the girl. To this day I wish the man who manipulated me so hard to think he was going to 'save me' from a bad marriage would spontaneously combust in front of my eyes. But valuable morals of the story: no one's gonna save you but yourself. And a man is truly run by 2 things; ego and dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 07:49 PM
14

Agreed, and OP herself has said this man is an LVM. I honestly am not a fan of how we're victim blaming the woman in this instance because we don't really know the level of manipulation LVM put on her to make her finally say I'm leaving him for you. I can speak to this because I was also in this situation. A "friend" had said a lot of things to me... "I wouldn't do that to you" "Your husband sucks, you deserve so much more". Showered me with gifts, treats and attention. Led me to believe he want…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:32 PM
142

For men, they have a baseline effort. However you see them in their normal days, the days you are just relaxing, no pressure, that's it, that's how they are as a default. That is the level you will expect from them as partners. Grand gestures of romance to try to win you back? Once you're finally fed up? That's not them. That's them trying their very best because their ego cannot handle them losing you. Because 'wtf dude I am like the best man I know why would she fucking leave I'm such a good g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:45 PM
6

These all wouldn't be hard if they had kindness and empathy but they don't so of course it's going to be an effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:02 PM
19

Why would you believe an LVM?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 04:59 PM
39

Her marriage was so bad that she clung to any hope. Have a feeling your LVM friend may have led her on or did some things or said somethings that she misconstrued so your friend isn't really telling you the truth. No woman would have the balls to say I left my husband for you let's have kids unless he led her to believe they had something. Not pickmeisha's 100% fault. And your LVM friend is trying to impress you with this story cus omg look he's so desirable and innocent he just causes married w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 04:58 PM
97

It's been groomed so hard in our gender that we must play the role of "carer" and "nurturer". One of the things I've learned for the last decade of my life, it's a very sad role because no one is caring for or nurturing you. Most of the time I felt ignored, uncared for. I constantly compared myself to a neglected plant, unable to thrive because the person I was with couldn't give me what I needed. The truth of the matter is, learning to care and nurture for yourself is much more difficult to lea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:32 PM
16

Agreed but it's recognizing this within you and learning to break the pattern. Being in this sub helps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 03:57 PM
8

Huh? I live by myself and have no man. I'm dressing up to feel clean and presentable and it helps to have a routine when you're working from home. Not sure how you saw this as a negative and detracting from finding a real connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 03:19 PM
4

It is the definition of spoiling yourself lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 03:16 PM
32

Definitely, there are days I'm dressing up like I would for work. I still put on makeup to make myself feel good, even if I'm just staying home and no one's going to see me. I WILL SEE ME. At night, I'm breaking out the silk chemises and robes because it makes me feel good to wear these while I'm just lounging around in bed. You gotta do what you gotta do to feel some semblance of normalcy in your life and if getting dressed up makes you feel good, DO IT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 02:41 AM
11

Classic LVM. You know HVMs are busy improving their lives and the lives of those around them. In the meantime, Mr. Does Math Good over here is too busy whining about how he can't get a woman to date him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:17 AM
29

Oppression. n. 1. The state of trying to be happy and finding peace as a woman in this world. 2. Women teaching each other to heal from past trauma. 3. Women warning one another not to be manipulated into sex and used by men. 4. Looking out for one's best interests. Sounds right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:11 AM
31

I needed this laugh, tyvm 🍌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:06 AM
6

Que??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 11:47 PM
100

Gonna repeat what was said here before that rang so accurate to me. LVMs think it's a crime to deny them of sex and attention. Even though they deserve to be cut off 100% with all the stupid bullshit they put women through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 11:45 PM
9

This is awesome and inspiring. I'm trying to share some of my work as well and getting an insta account out there makes me more motivated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 10:56 PM
31

This made me laugh too hard and too long
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 10:55 PM
33

The unmitigated gall. Honestly. He probably typed this with cheeto fingers from his mom's basement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 10:54 PM
240

I haven't done this in years and I still feel so attacked. My God why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:55 PM
39

So she's asking for a guy with decency. Makes sense, that's rare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 04:51 PM
23

I was gonna comment the same thing. What does this even mean????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 04:43 PM
17

I just threw up in my mouth. I have heard of men fucking animal pussies and just getting diseases... and this is how a pandemic starts jesus christ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 04:43 PM
8

I mean normal people just move on but LVM ruminate and obsess over the women they've disrespected and finally walked away from them because now their penises have been denied entry. If it wasn't such a sad state of the world we live in now I'd laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 04:25 PM
10

100% accurate. They're toddlers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 04:12 PM
3

Yes yes yes! Love this comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 04:01 PM
18

I think this is where the "men are attracted to bubbly personalities" trope. Bubbly to them usually means not a lot going on up there, easily manipulated, smiling women = easy to deal with, doesn't overthink things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 03:56 PM
31

I've deleted some comments of mine where I shared too many things that if the men I were with could somehow happen to read it, they'd recognize it was us in the story. So err on the side of caution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 03:42 PM
28

Here because I have the same problem. Toxic but I can only fantasize about people I've had romantic interests on, even if they were the wrong people for me. I've found myself holding on too long to the fantasy of us because I've been using those past sexual experiences we had in my mind. I've tried other things like you but it just isn't the same level of excitement for me and I can't really get off in a satisfactory way. I'm looking forward to the advice people have for this thread.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 03:31 PM
64

I agree. Your girlfriends are there to check you if you're doing wrong. They have the most power to gaslight and manipulate you so if you have chosen the wrong girls to trust, they could be leading you down the wrong path. Pickmeisha girlfriends and moms and other pickmeisha women in your lives will tell you to bend over backwards over for the LVMs in your life just so you can have a man. In exchange for your dignity, mental and emotional wellbeing, physical and financial security etc. Learn to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 02:13 PM
80

I'm amused reading this story but then remember that a lot of women really are living some kind of version of this story and I get upset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 02:08 PM
19

Warms the heart to hear stories like these. It's good someone's looking out for you. Stay safe during these times!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 12:12 AM
17

It's good that these people are shining through during crisis time. Honestly these are the times you get to know who will have your back when things take a bad turn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 11:59 PM
22

Wheres cloning technology when you need it, damn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 09:02 PM
33

That really proves he's thinking of other people and not just his survival at this point in time. How people react in time of a crisis tells a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 08:53 PM
8

I like this post. Have been single for 6 months now and I have been on that same self discovery. We should have a thread with tips on what to try that's worked for us tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 07:52 PM
25

Thank god he's your ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 06:41 PM
104

Think about it. If you got one of these shallow, superficial guys to date you/chase you and eventually become your boyfriend, you'll be pressured to keep up appearances and a lifestyle that really wasn't the authentic you to begin with. These guys aren't your target market. Don't even try to impress them. What you need to do is find something you are passionate about, and shine there. That way, if somehow a person who is also into the same thing notices you, he would notice you for the right rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:15 PM
14

I've been sending snail mail to friends, getting my baking groove back on, trying to finish the home program of Strong Curves, cooking up a storm with all of my groceries. I may buy a beginner's loom for myself, I've always wanted to get into weaving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 01:49 AM
90

"I always thought this was fair." Financial abuse is fair, sounds about right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 11:34 PM
133

Run, sis. Run as far away from you can from this selfish pos. Everything he does is to his advantage. 40k vs 250k and they're splitting 50/50, I can't even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 11:31 PM
13

Let's just say demand is high and supply is low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 11:25 PM
72

I find the advice "listen to your body" so important when meeting new people. If you are tense, stomach is in knots... and them leaving makes you breathe more easily, your body's instinct is usually correct. Learn to tell the signs from how your body reacts. As women we're trained to be warm, welcoming, receptive to everyone, and it overrides our instincts sometimes, this training. So at times it's hard to tell "do I think that person is good for me?" Pause. Listen to your body. Breathe. Be awar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 11:20 PM
75

No, this would make me very uncomfortable. It's another thing if he isn't liking anybody else's, but liking other women's while making sure not to like yours is weird. Almost like he wants to train you to seek his approval, it's suspicious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 10:55 PM
23

Scientific name Scrotus Optimus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 10:17 PM
111

Be at least at Self Esteem Lvl 99 or you'll have difficulties with her main attacks: Not All Men Tho, and You're Gonna End Up Alone Sis. Male sure to cast Clown Makeup Remover on Boss Pickmeisha, that will weaken her state. Finish her off with a Screw Male Validation spell. Not sure on the armor but I always make sure I'm equipped with a good dose of FDS potion before any pickme battle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 10:13 PM
20

I love this post. This Sunday I had all the time in the world to cook my favorite dish, using my mother's recipe. I thought of the way my exes looooved my cooking and the way they'd eat so much of it. I smiled because aside from just enjoying the process and having the reward of good food by the end of this, I thought about how much IT SUCKS TO BE THEM and never taste any of my cooking ever again. 😇🥰😚😜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 10:00 PM
90

Boss Pickmeisha. There will usually be a savepoint before you encounter this type of pickme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 09:55 PM
30

These lucky girls
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 08:47 PM
104

They all need Jesus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 07:59 PM
75

Trust that these low value men purchasing sexdolls will misinterpret "antibacterial" to mean never having to clean it up. Let's go, Darwin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 05:11 PM
9

Seize the means of production!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 02:55 PM
4

Popularity of pick up artist tactics, redpilling, the game, etc. Porn culture. Accessibility of men sharing tips and stories on how to game women. Legit had one guy told me all he has to do is know the rules of the game, he sticks to it, he usually will end up adding women to his rotation. They rely on manipulating and stringing along women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 02:03 PM
2

Yes! Emphasis on respecting each other
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 12:48 AM
200

I wish all women were born with that sense of entitlement
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 12:47 AM
5

I honestly want to say YES. Maybe in minor ways. But they have to be self aware to begin with. They have to be accountable to begin with. If they aren't the introspective type, the type to own up and say hey my bad actually, instead of placing the blame on someone else... it's a NO. Sometimes I come here and want to see the replies and think the trash men I've left could've changed to the potential we always thought they could be. If we loved them enough, if we could just have displayed some rig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 08:47 PM
10

Yeah what if her HVM is actually one of those LVMs that hoarded TP by the pallet from Costco 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 08:37 PM
61

Queen energy. Love it. Recently had a friend who told me I'm being too harsh. She remains a pickme still and kowtows to men's feelings. Sis, they're not gonna put you first. You know who's gonna put you first? YOU. Nobody else. We need to stop waiting around for men to see our worth and value and treat as like we think we need to be treated. It starts within ourselves. We aren't wasting time, we are doing things that are good for us, we are going for positive energy, positive influences, spendin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:27 PM
7

Love it when you got the receipts!!! "I don't see racism" Fuck out of here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:16 PM
9

I've made a list of the things I need to do and want to do during this quarantine/self isolation period and guess what... it's a lot. So I will be busy with work and still trying to find time to fit in these things here and there. Will get me to focus on it vs thinking about loneliness. Stay strong, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:11 PM
9

Lmao so sorry you had to find out this way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:08 PM
94

100% true. When you're too good for them they know it and do little things to test you. They know the relationship is too good to be true and has a time limit. And you're over there thinking "is this MF for real". It's not about us. It's about them. They need to figure their shit out and they know it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:06 PM
14

Say it louder for the people in the back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:02 PM
100

Gonna go ahead and say it. People who refuse to listen to reason, people who risk others by continuously going out because they can't stay at home and be still, whether they're bored or constantly need some outside stimulus or constant validation and attention from others, people who are lacking self awareness of the consequences of their actions to others.... You are being LOW VALUE as fuck. Stay home. Stop trying to get people to come outside and hang out with you or date you because you're fu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 06:58 PM
10

This guy keeps messaging me as well. He has a lot of time in his hands to be sending so many msgs to us, all he does is keep track of what we post and say. 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 06:52 PM
27

Word salad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 06:48 PM
2

I've deactivated mine but keep FB messenger on my phone for the people that stay in touch with me that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 04:01 PM
47

What the fuck. Drop this racist weak pos. Everything he will do in life will be based on validation from others around him. He will throw his family under the bus as soon as he's on the hot seat. Weak and spineless. I'm literally shuddering in disgust at these type of people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 03:55 PM
5

Thank you so much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 04:59 AM
3

Excellent post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 04:31 AM
8

Reading that "meh" is so powerful to me right now. Is there a link you can provide more on that? I need to "meh" more when I find myself caring too much, regretting too much, feeling too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 04:30 AM
24

It's sad when we're always built to try and look at the bright side... and the bright side is still super bleak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 02:57 AM
32

Cleaning your space. Writing letters. Painting. Drawing. Knitting. Weaving. Calling family and friends. Making a scrapbook. Writing on a journal. Reading on some niche interest of yours. Posting on FDS. Get well soon, OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 02:55 AM
2

Stop focusing on him. Focus on you. Write down the things you need to do to make your life better, to make YOU feel better. And start working on those. You need to work on yourself and stop comparing your life to his. You are two separate people. You are not missing anything by being with him, he is a toxic individual and probably impeded your growth as a person in a lot of ways. BE FREE from him. He was your anchor, and now you need to sail away and find your island.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 01:07 AM
13

100%. Love this comment, so very well said. I used to think I was HVW until I woke up from that naive mindset of "if I did well, everything else will follow". HVW's mindset is always on survival and self preservation. As a woman you are born in a society where every word, action, outfit is highly judged by both men and women, and assumptions come with it. People will always want to bend your will, because "women are weak and easily pliable" "Women can be used in some way". Having that strong sen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 01:03 AM
15

Is he one of those redditors that are rated 8/10 by other redditors, but in real life they're more like a 5? Like who is blowing up his ego??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:47 AM
5

Agreed. To help you with this one, it helps to wear what makes you feel your best (may or may not include makeup), and 100% workout to have good posture. The way you walk also makes people assess whether you're confident in yourself or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:42 AM
6

I always make sure I understand and tried to consider their perspective. "I get where you're coming from... but on the other hand..." That's how I usually phrase things so they know that I'm not in outright disagreement, and they don't hear "You're wrong, I'm right", instead I'm trying to get them to consider my perspective as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:34 AM
45

Holy shit did I write this? Happily divorced now. My ex was a funny and sweet man at the start, which is why I fell for him, but when it came to managing the household... would forget to lock the doors, would forget that the electric stove was on, would completely forget that he had tickets. The tickets and bills, I told him at least tell me so I can pay... but charges kept piling up. It was a nightmare because instead of taking the role of a woman, you took on the role of a MOTHER. Nothing is m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:21 AM
23

Exactly, they can be as demanding as they want, but when women start having boundaries and standards they're all "you shut down and want to control." Double standards, completely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:17 AM
3

Yep you just described my scenario of getting attracted to men. I don't really notice them until we've spent some of those funny heartfelt moments together
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 01:31 AM
18

My comment sounded more mean spirited than I had meant to. I agree that a lot of it is internal misogyny as well. I wish more women would wake up from this and can do more self reflection. We're born in a society where we're not meant to win so it is hard to get out of that cycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 07:26 PM
37

Sometimes I think pick-me-ism is just a way to cope with the fact that they know they wouldn't get picked otherwise because you know that it's hard for them to compete with other women in other departments. Personality? No. Looks? No. Hobbies? None. Trent, I may be plainest most boring woman you've ever met, but I will let you cheat on me multiple times, pay your bills, suck your dick without giving you grief, cook you meals, be fine with you calling me a hoe and degrading me, where else would y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 07:00 PM
71

And they call women "shallow." Guys: I'm a visual creature, so sue me. Everyone's a visual creature, doofus. You're just the one shallow enough to let it rule you. And trust me when they get with a woman with their perfect 10/10 aesthetic, they'll still have something to complain about down the road.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 06:52 PM
31

Officer I'd like to report a murder
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:26 AM
17

I think you misread my comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:14 AM
39

Fellow introvert here. It's kinda embarrassing that people are crying about being quarantined and I'm over here going "this is just how I normally live..."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:07 AM
6

Amen on "giving you time to recover from his bullshit". This is their MO. They'll distance themselves for a bit and reach out when your brain is only recollecting the "good times" and you'll be more lenient towards them. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. It's an endless cycle and nothing would have changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:45 PM
11

I love reading and writing fiction. Ex husband loved reading all kinds of non-fiction, would make fun of me for not widening my horizons and picking up more non-fiction books so I can "learn more". I use reading as a form of escape so I told him to shut up. But.. just wanted to say I used to think like you, but reading doesn't really indicate high value or anything. Sometimes they're even more arrogant about it because they think they're more "intellectual".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:27 PM
21

Obligatory Stephen Colbert analysis of "What Makes You Beautiful" https://www.pinterest.com/pin/388365167852518057/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:17 PM
27

Perfect example of women putting other women down. And again, always the assumption that the things we do to be feminine (wear makeup, take care of our skin and hair and nails, wear cute outfits) is all for the benefit of men instead of how we want to feel about ourselves. And then on the other hand, if you don't even try, you've given up on life and are a man-hating shrew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 08:51 PM
3

Story of my life tbh. If I didn't get the courage to initiate a divorce (rigid catholic upbringing, pickmeisha mom), I'd still be in that situation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 01:41 AM
48

Exactly. The term "work husband" always gave me the heebie jeebies. Dafuq
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 10:31 PM
25

I'm really grossed out. LVW's and LVM's all the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 10:31 PM
12

I may or may not have done this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 08:34 PM
15

Men are starving for attention so any hint of politeness or friendliness, or even a quick smile their way will make them think you're into them. I used to be like you and used my friendliness as a defense mechanism. I was bullied as a kid because I wouldn't talk to anyone. I adjusted by overcompensating on friendliness. Which gave so many men the wrong idea. Coupled with my poor boundaries I have gotten myself in a lot of undesirable situations. Until I realized I only needed to be kind and frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 08:32 PM
52

Yes. Conversations with narcissists feel like you could be anybody or anything (a lampshade) standing there and they'd still have the same conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 06:09 PM
18

No. I tried getting back on after my divorce. LVMs after LVMs that made me feel bad. Made me focus on my goals less. I've made a decision to focus on myself and my goals "Healthy Wealthy 2020", and if there's someone good and kind that steps up, I would date him. In the meantime I'm in a very good spot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 06:08 PM
13

I got a new job to switch it up. It's been a good distraction so far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 12:08 AM
11

This is an amazing post. I've been doing a lot of these but there are a couple I could do more. Bookmarked because this is so helpful and I can attest that these work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 11:57 PM
5

I've gotten to a point where I've gone through so much crap in life and still managed to remain strong. If you asked me years ago I would never have looked at myself this way but today I can honestly say "I inspire myself." Sounds narcissistic, maybe, but it's more of getting into a mindset of self loving and recognizing my achievements in life. It has not been an easy journey. I'm also inspired by my closest girlfriend, she's been through hell and back and still remain the most positive influen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 07:32 PM
30

Hilarious! Typical LVMs though they downplay the shit they did "I don't know why she's so mad", "she's overreacting". Sociopaths always be in denial about the shitty things they do to people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 07:21 PM
1

I've been reading this book, I need to finish it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:47 AM
3

Amazing comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 11:30 PM
9

I hate women at work like that. I want to shake them sometimes and yell You. are. not. helping. our. case. We already have problems being taken seriously at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 10:19 PM
10

Can you do this for friendships as well? Agree with the comment below. People are rarely what they seem. I am not actively looking for hidden negative intentions when I meet people so I'm not overly suspicious of them vs when I meet men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 08:37 PM
101

Did you somehow hack into my ex LVM's computer and copy-paste his journal/manifesto??? 😝 I'm scared at how accurate you portrayed how he thought and felt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 05:02 PM
25

Disgusting. These are the types of people young men listen to as well. Utterly disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:57 PM
18

My ex always told me if he were born a woman he'd go the 'trophy wife' route. Always mentioned how easy women have it, how he wishes he was the one taken care of (guess what, he was), blah blah blah. Yes it was jealousy, he didn't bother to hide it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 01:39 AM
7

Thank you for the reminder, I needed this today
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:37 AM
17

I'm a secure type and being in a relationship with an avoidant made me feel anxious and clingy. Everytime you tried to get closer they'd be cold and push you away and it most often will feel like rejection. I didn't like myself in that relationship for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 02:54 AM
15

Why are they so predictable 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 05:15 AM
243

Part of the brainwashing we get as little girls when we complain about the boy in class that pulled our hair or threw something at us. "He's mean to you because he likes you". It's so harmful to us and becomes the gateway to clown life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 02:57 PM
54

Yep they're all about political correctness but deep down are racist and misogynist. Hard to genuinely fight for oppression when you didn't really do any introspection and are just repeating the popular narrative
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 07:47 AM
35

My two LVM exes definitely referred to women as "bitches". "That bitch was so in love with me" "Those bitches don't know what they're missing." Never sat right with me but I chose to overlook it because my pickme brain thought oh well they don't think I'm a bitch. All I've been is good to them. And yes, they ticked all the boxes on being LVM. #clownlife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 01:26 AM
2

That last one made me smile
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 06:04 AM
11

Spot on with the Fuckboy Translator 2000
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 05:01 AM
2

Why do we have to be the honored recipients of such turds
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 05:01 AM
17

You should ask him if he would like it if you commented on random half naked muscley dudes on IG, "<3 your abs papi"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 04:35 AM
2

I was not ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 04:54 AM
19

Ok im here for these types of posts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 04:45 AM
8

I am obsessed with Persephone tbh, mostly because I can relate to that story
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 04:43 AM
25

I earn more than my ex . When we divorced amicably he half joked I should pay him alimony (even 10 dollars a month) so he can brag to his buddies that the woman was the one paying the man alimony. I told him to go fuck himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:50 PM
3

Can attest. I don't even give smooth, attractive men the time of the day. I can already tell they're hardcore players. Tbh you would need a long time to vet someone. But kindness in a man, especially kindness towards me, towards the weak (women, children, the disenfranchised) makes them more physically attractive and appealing to me as time goes by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:47 PM
196

Porn has ruined our perception of human bodies that's for sure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:41 PM
27

A true HVM will treat all women decently. LVM can pretend for a while for a woman they perceive as a "prize" but their true biases will always come out. A new relationship will always be "nice, beautiful, loving". The woman is meeting his representative. It can't be an act that can be sustained for long if his core values don't align with kindness, compassion, and empathy for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:39 PM
16

And there's a comment there where he says he's still using her for sex. This can't be real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 05:04 AM
104

Personally, I use FDS as self defense. You can't be a wide eyed naive little miss entering the world of men. You will get taken for a ride and stripped of your dignity before you can even say "hello". We're talking about men who have armed themselves with PUA tactics, redpill maneuvers, psychological tricks and manipulations. Men who 'spin plates' and rate women from 1 to 10 based on physical beauty or how good she sucks dick. In dating you can only have room for compassion and empathy if you ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 03:15 AM
89

Absolutely. Browsing here has helped so much. Reading comments of other women's experiences has opened my eyes on how society works. It's such a breath of fresh air to just read women's perspective without the chiming of "buts" "not all men though" "as a male". It's just us trading stories and realizing things in common we have with each other. Women are allies. We've been socialized to see each other as 'competition'. That's one of the things that drastically changed for me. I see my fellow wom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:57 AM
7

"who used me as a life raft until she found the next dick to hop onto." Island hopping I mean dick hopping. Why is this so accurate though. It's pretty rare to find a friend who will really be an HVW for you. Dick takes precedence like girl... come on you really going back to him after we spent months talking shit about why he's not good for you. I'm not wasting time or energy anymore the next time the going gets tough
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:50 AM
7

Change is always uncomfortable. The process of leveling up means you leave people who don't want to see you level up or don't support this process. And that's okay. That means your relationships were fragile to begin with. Let the fragile ones break so you can get to see the sturdy rock solid ones that will be with you through thick or thin. Enjoy pampering yourself, you deserve it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:44 AM
14

Yup, out of all things I get pissed off about time. It's a limited resource, I will never get it back. Years and years of focusing on men when I should've been focusing on me, my career, making bank, my friends, my family, my hobbies, traveling... jesus christ the time I will never get back. But I'm glad I've realized this so I can quickly cut off time wasters and vampires in my life. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:32 AM
17

This needs a rewatch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:23 AM
38

RIP her inbox lololol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:04 AM
14

How much time do you have on your hands? Do you have access to a computer? Are there things you can sell in the meantime to build your savings again? A job or a second job you can take? Make sure you have your own account. Your bills are paid on time so your credit score is good. If you can, open a credit card to increase your credit limit (but DO NOT use the card to spend, this is important. If you have trouble with this being a temptation don't do this). Think about your network and connection…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 10:45 PM
72

He invited you out to be in your company. Our time and our efforts are not free. We could be spending that doing other things. Spending time with other people. Bettering our community. A man is on the hunt for a mate, he should be ready to spend. Dating isn't free, a man is trying to find a potential partner that will better his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 10:12 PM
101

Well with a name like "master of masculinity" he's the real deal 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 09:53 PM
106

"But what do you bring to the table tho" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 09:17 PM
280

"Fun, flirty, friendly, fit, cute, chaste" Yup, to "real men" we're all just interchangeable bunny rabbits. LVMs gonna LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 09:01 PM
24

Gross. I need a shower after reading this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 09:00 PM
16

HVM won't be threatened by a woman's sensuality. LVM with insecurities would. They'd actually pigeonhole a sexually open woman into just the "funtime" category no matter how much of an HVW she is. They have this ridiculous idea that wife material shouldn't be too knowledgeable or experienced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:45 PM
24

It's such a common feeling for us to be afraid of rejecting them and hurting their feelings. That we will think of "I DONT WANT TO HURT THEM" first before our safety. It's insane how women grow up like this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:23 PM
14

The title is giving me life omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:07 PM
31

When they start behaving like animals, it's time to throw them back into the wild where they belong. "Yep, he's not my problem anymore, he's yours." I can understand her being pregnant makes it infinitely scarier... but this is why I emphasize the importance of a group of strong women around you that you can rely on. They will be there to help with pregnancy or whatever you're going through, 100x better than an emotionally cheating spouse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:58 PM
92

"DID YOU COME?" "...To my senses, yes." (I read this here and wish it was what I said to the dude who couldn't even find my clit 😤)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:49 PM
197

Dear men, the things you see in porn is NOT real life. Stop trying to make it happen. It's not gonna happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:43 PM
93

The worst part of the whole breadcrumbing thing is even after you've recognized that this is what they were doing and finally block them from your life... these little shitstains will be the one to constantly try to reach their grubby hands from the hole you've buried them in to disturb your peace. I kept wondering why it took me such a longer time to get over some avoidant breadcrumbing LVM POS that I had a situationship with, vs getting over a healthy relationship with an HVM that just didn't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:32 PM
99

My trauma with the worst avoidant I've ever met is coming back just reading this. All makes sense, that kind of behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 04:55 PM
6

Amazing comment I've saved it. I wasn't looking to work on self esteem because I thought I already developed a pretty good one but you had some really good things here I'm excited to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:14 AM
22

Solid article. I learned about "you don't trust" thus becoming a challenge to them and attracting them. That's something I would need to work on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:11 AM
9

I want to save enough money so I can make a downpayment on a simple home with a lovely garden. I want to eventually publish my own young adult book to inspire young women to reach their full potential instead of counting on achieving marriage or fulfilling romance as the endgame. I want to make at least three trips to cities I've never been in the US (already done one) and make an international trip or two this year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 10:36 PM
6

Why is this so true though I'm just going to focus on other shit tbh. The state of men...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:33 PM
12

Don't freak out. Arm yourself with knowledge, confide in good friends, be mentally and emotionally prepared for him to reach out again and trust your gut that you are making the best decision for yourself. Whenever you start reminscing about the good times about the past (and you might), write everything negative he did to you. Reread when you need reminding when he reaches out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:51 AM
12

Amazing how predictable narcs behave the moment they lose their supply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:35 AM
18

Do everything you can for your peace of mind. The sooner you end all contact the sooner you can recover. Read about narcissism and how narcissists can hoover people, how they can turn the tables and flip the script on you. Stay strong and protect yourself and your peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:31 AM
55

It feels good to be chased after but remember it's his ego that can't take you refusing him. Don't give in. You ended this for a reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:26 AM
6

Thats a good guideline to know whether someone's feelings are authentically for you, as opposed to what you can do for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 03:07 AM
13

HVM will be proud about your accomplishments, you won't need to dumb yourself down for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:01 AM
10

You do whatever you love doing, what works for you and what makes you feel good. I just don't like us looking at dolled up women and automatically making assumptions. The freedom to where what we want and look like what we want is what makes things great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:36 AM
5

Doesn't sound like a dealbreaker to me yet tbh some people don't innately have the same level of improvement or motivation levels. I would say communicate this exactly to him and see if he rises to the challenge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:26 AM
23

Clothes won't stop LVM from flocking to you. Clothes also won't guarantee attracting HVM to you. Wearing attractive clothes just casts a wider net, doesn't say anything about the quality of the fish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:19 AM
10

Agree with this comment. I wear makeup do my hair and wear heels as if I'm donning on armor for the day. I'm ready for battle and I can take whatever is flung at me, I say wear whatever you are comfortable, and feel 100% confident in. Whatever that looks like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:17 AM
25

We shouldn't take on projects just because we can. Yes we will feel sorry for them because they didn't have the right upbringing or the right circumstances in life. But these things are the core of a person and any change must come from within himself. He has to know what he needs to work on and do things to improve. The same way we are doing the work on ourselves. We don't expect a man to rescue us, because we should be the ones wanting to save ourselves. Changes that make an impact always come…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:06 AM
69

Holy shit how selfish can you be. "You're ruining my fun time because of your sickness wah"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 12:04 AM
158

Upvoted for appropriate emoji usage
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 11:59 PM
66

To add: Make sure your credit score is always on point. A good credit score means you can easily get a car, can easily get a new place to stay in. Make sure you are cultivating quality women friendships. That you have a go to BFF that you can stay with for a while should shit hit the fan. I say women because friendships with men could again be transactional. They will help you when you are down but they could be expecting something in return. So to be safe, a good solid tried and tested friendsh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 11:37 PM
40

Lmao I vomited a little w the potato salad image
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 10:45 PM
32

🎯🎯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 09:49 PM
326

When the woman's usefulness ends, it's time to get a new woman. Most men don't do "love", they will stay with you for the status you bring, the things you can do for him, the things you bring him. While we deal with love and feelings, a lot of them will view relationships as a transaction. As a condition. "What can I get from her?" So ladies... always have an exit plan. Protect yourself. Be ready to walk away anytime and maintain financial independence. Surround yourself with a strong support sy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 09:44 PM
13

Never assume anything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 09:22 PM
16

Always be grateful. Look at the things and the traits you have. Look at how far you've improved. Look at the lives you've changed and are impacting. We will always compare ourselves to others, that's completely normal... but something we should always remember is that our journeys our uniquely our own. When I get into a grateful mindset, it's easier to be happy wherever I am right now. As long as you're keeping it moving and looking forward to things, you will be good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 09:21 PM
11

I gave OLD a try after my divorce and didn't last long. I would prefer to meet someone organically because I'd be exposed to them constantly... that's really how I develop an attraction. Anyway I would say work on yourself first. Find new and interesting hobbies. Make leveling up and becoming a more rounded person your focus instead of finding someone. Everything else will fall into place eventually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 06:20 PM
35

They are so gross. To him women are obviously just objects. Conquests to be won. She needs to dump this asshole and find a decent man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 06:17 PM
12

Love this post. I was just telling a friend who is blinded by the treatment of a dude because he is good looking to think about how all her girlfriends care for her in her life vs her boyfriend. MY TREATMENT OF YOU AS A FRIEND IS THE BARE MINIMUM YOU SHOULD EXPECT FROM HIM AS AN S.O. I gave her FDS and I hope she is learning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 03:50 PM
17

Classic r/Tinder content
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 05:04 AM
125

I'm curious but scared at the same time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:37 AM
93

I'm gonna repeat it from the video that was posted in here this week. Cheapness = selfishness = narcissism They are willing to drop so much money on their stuff but unwilling to invest in anyone else. If a woman were sick or pregnant and needing care, this man is the type to make sure the wife gets cheaper but substandard everything. Cheap men will make you feel unsafe and uncared for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:35 AM
50

At least he knows
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:32 AM
17

I love love love reading stories like these. It's funny because FDS has helped so much, not by finding us the right men yet, but getting rid of the wrong ones... and finding ourselves in the process. It's an awesome journey and I am so happy to see you on the other side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 07:40 AM
81

Omg yes. The married men posing like they're single and available on social media
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 06:44 AM
45

Wtf your poor mother
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 05:26 AM
111

Because we have empathy. A lot of them don't that's why it's easy for them to use women and string them along. They fully know when a woman starts to fall in love and will take advantage when this happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 05:22 AM
11

I believe "dinner stealing thots" was the phrase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 05:01 PM
13

Damn this was so eye opening. Cheapness, selfishness, narcissism. I met one who made bank but was constantly so miserly I hated being in his presence. He used tinder like a hooker service. Women were basically just interchangeable. Didn't want to spend a dime on anyone but himself. When it came to himself he was very generous but with others, ugh... I'm so mad at myself for even giving this dude a chance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 08:39 AM
34

Sis what kind of animals have you been dating im just... 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:49 AM
11

That Iman and Teyana vid was really adorable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 08:02 PM
22

Agreed. Did she really like roses that much? The only thing there that was for her was Baby Yoda and he had that as an afterthought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:47 PM
16

More tales please, A+ story telling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 06:57 PM
84

It's like those men that say they don't want their women hanging out with those "headstrong independent girlfriends" because we will put fool ideas in their heads. Cus we open their eyes. And now they will upset the balance of their carefully machinated abusive relationship. Or now the men will have to actually try harder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 05:53 PM
43

Negging. Over explaining something you didn't ask about. Putting down people. Judgemental especially about something shallow or physical that they don't have. Their confidence isn't quiet but comes off as arrogant and obnoxious. Obsessed with getting the latest trends (i.e. sneakers). More 'words' than 'actions'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 02:43 PM
82

Yes the level of emotional maturity of women is so very different from most of them. I have only one male friend who could emotionally support me as well as a girl friend could. But women friends are rock solid at saying the things you need to hear, whether it be to comfort or give some tough love. Your cup will feel full after a quality conversation with a good girlfriend. And it's always a give and take, instead of just taking and taking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:48 AM
146

I like how they're advertising the sub anyway LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 01:49 AM
47

Same here. We'd go out to eat and I'd already pass him my card to use before we even step out of the car to eat. 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 01:06 AM
16

It amazes me how far our gender has been brainwashed. It's the media, what friends say, what strangers on the internet echo... it all works for furthering the male agenda.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 11:15 PM
118

I used to be such a pickme I was actually proud to be the one taking out my card and paying for my ex and me. Lord so glad those days are over
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 11:12 PM
21

This is such an amazing story. That took strength, what a classy move. I aspire to be like this woman even at the lowest point in life she finds the positive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 11:10 PM
16

She shouldn't marry this dickwad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 07:25 PM
16

So glad you dumped him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 02:16 AM
14

How did you guys handle dating at work? I'm an advocate of 'don't shit where you eat' but I'm at work most of the time, and surrounded by likeminded men. Anyway I like this post because we sound similar. After two abusive relationships, I'm focusing on leveling up physically, financially (career wise) and my focus has been on networking and strengthening my female friendships. It's been awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 02:09 AM
1

I browsed it but it ended up making me feel bad about non existent "imperfections", and realized it's not for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 08:59 PM
95

One of the most powerful things I realized after I divorced my ex was that my level of care for him was always higher than my level of care for myself. I made sure he ate healthy. Mealprepped and cooked healthy meals for us. I urged him to work out and keep attending his classes. I made sure he had time to hang with his buddies and get away from the house. I got him presents for his birthday, Valentine's, Christmas. After tiring days, I'd offer him a massage, or to take him out to dinner. Of cou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 07:20 PM
58

Holy shit not only is he violent and sociopathic, he's ugly as sin too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:49 PM
12

Wow I love this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:40 PM
7

Sounds like terms from r/Vindicta
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:31 PM
53

They're all confused tbh. You tell them "I'm looking for something casual" and guaranteed they will start acting like a boyfriend. Not sure if they see it as a challenge to make you fall and admit your feelings first, and it's an ego boost. Tell them "i'm looking for something serious" and they'll do the whole fboy routine of push-pull hot-cold, and will string you along for as long as they can. Oh look this chick wanted to stick to her principles of looking for something serious but i'm banging…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:51 AM
38

A kind and courageous man will always be HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:43 AM
13

This is something I've said to my self... "Look for a partner. Not a project. Partner. Not project."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:41 AM
43

What on earth makes them think this is enjoyable? The women in porn crying with thick mascara streaking down their cheeks? Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:40 AM
77

First off I'm glad you realized what's right for you and what doesn't feel right for you. Also glad you are safe and nothing untoward or traumatic happened with the arrangement. Personally, my view is we as human beings we are not meant to share intimacy with our bodies while keeping emotions separate. You see them often, you share and connect in the most intimate fashion, it's inevitable that feelings will develop unless you have a high degree of sociopathy. I'm not entirely sure when "catching…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:35 AM
8

Legit I imagined someone in thick glasses saying 🤓 "also let me just point out that male jizz is..." But seriously that little factoid is disturbing. That's lowkey a superpower. Imagine getting your body to produce fluids that make the opposite sex subservient ahahahha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:15 AM
21

BTW it's a total fuckboy move to start acting distant after the sex. It makes you want to pull them closer after doing something so intimate. It makes our anxiety ramp up, makes us panic that that was a mistake and we get clingy on them. Settle for crumbs. See them again for another fuck session. That's why it's so easy for them to do this again and again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 03:44 AM
23

Women aren't built for this situation tbh. It takes a rare woman to not get emotionally connected with sex. If I sleep with someone too soon my brain tries to justify what I'm doing by "falling in love" "looking for the good" "imagining the future/potential/yadayada🤮" despite all the red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 03:40 AM
8

I want to be in this mindset. How do you meet men? IRL or OLD?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:50 PM
14

Spot on, I love this. Saving for when I'm actually ready to date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:49 PM
28

Yeah it took me a while to learn that 'attention' definitely does not equate 'intention'. They just like the ego boost of getting a pretty girl or a quality woman with options to pay attention to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:46 PM
15

Sounds like an avoidant. Or a narcissist. Or just some personality disorder. Glad you got out otherwise he would've just wasted your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:44 PM
27

I need this stickied for all aspects of my life. Friendships. Work. Men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:41 PM
40

Was this Bridesmaids? I watched this scene when I was younger and said oh god he's such a skeeze I would never... Guess who did at one point in their life lol. Thank fuck that period of deliriousness is over. Can I just claim I had a fugue state.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:40 PM
14

I think a lot of us have, it's helpful to recognize why we stuck around so long in bad relationships, and may we all learn our lessons. Quality post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:34 PM
36

Oh trust me I'm not handing out this magical vag just to anybody.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:27 PM
9

Excellent advice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 09:43 PM
105

"But with your patience and love and vagina he can finally grow into the man you know he really is on the inside." Girl, why you gotta do me like this😭 Edit: yes my vagina game on point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 09:30 PM
37

Wealthy man, high effort = high value Wealthy man, low effort = low value It's all about the effort and the thought they put in for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 07:55 PM
56

It's a binary scale. 1 or 0.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:05 PM
92

"I'm so lucky to have her" should be what is going through their minds when they see you. One of the good things my ex had said to me when we were both shopping separately at a grocery store... "I didn't recognize you at first and I thought man she is fine..oh wait that's my wife!" He had his good moments and that was one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:04 PM
207

Hell no. Date a man who will never make you feel insecure about your looks like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 05:20 PM
45

I felt this story hard because this was me until a year ago. But we thankfully didn't have children. I didn't feel like having one because I thought taking care of two children (a manchild and a baby) would have been tol fucking much. But I did move for this man based on the promise of a relationship, an LDR for years because of "love". I was young and naive. A total pickme. We broke up so many times because of so many things but he begged me to move here, to at least give us a chance. I left my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:07 AM
3

"Better the devil you know than the devil you don't" is the way some people think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:30 AM
5

Some people do equate women saying "i went on a date" to "i hooked up with a guy". So I am very careful who I talk to about dating or going on dates. Some people have different mindsets on the subject. Unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:28 AM
11

I'm there right now. It's been rough getting used to it but once you do... the thought of sharing your time and space with someone else makes me go... ugh what, why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:27 AM
31

In a nutshell, yes. Life's been peaceful thus far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:13 AM
28

This used to be my mindset for years. I was nice and accomodating. I wanted to pay my own way. Wanted to prove I wasn't a burden, I wasn't a golddigger. I was strong and independent. But it doesn't work that way. Whatever is free, they value less. Whatever costs more, they value more. You want to be treated with respect? Make them pay for your time. Every man. No exception in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:11 AM
129

I once texted a wholeass paragraph that deserved its own comedy sketch to entertain him. All I got was a "lol" hours later. I was all about that 🤡 life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 01:55 AM
22

Girl whyyyyd you go back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 12:19 AM
7

Men coined it for women who just lie there not doing anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 12:18 AM
9

Being on top is my go to because it feels so much better for the woman to control the thrust and then grinding the clit area is also a good sensation. Idk I like it better than missionary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 12:01 AM
37

Lol did you just coin that word "testerical" for "testosterone + hysterical?" Cus that's brilliant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 10:33 PM
3

This is how I think. Jealousy is a very foreign emotion to me. I always end up happy for someone or admiring someone. I know my strengths lie elsewhere... or it isn't my time, or whatever it is is something I can work on. That's why I can't get the feeling of women being jealous of friends they are supposed to have. I end up turned off when I have a friend who feels some jealousy towards me and it ends up coming out as resentment. I can easily spot for sure from other women. I am always doing my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 09:42 PM
22

Hah!!! Yes get it. "Person I care about the most... which is me." 🙌 we need this energy 24/7
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:45 PM
5

I actually like this. Be a fierce and awe inspiring person instead of being a damstel in distress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:43 PM
9

Ignore. She ignores you because you are still giving her attention. Get your power back and choose people who impact your life positively. You will meet a lot of people better spend them with people who don't make uou feel like you did something wrong because of the way they view themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:13 AM
24

I have heard of LVMs put down their friends to impress women. And it's not really attractive, they always look stupid to me. Agreed on the 'challenge' part. If you're difficult they immediately want to 'win you over'. It's that mentality of conquering and getting the 'W'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 10:17 PM
2

Thank you. I am glad to know it's not just me and more women encounter it too. Sometimes I do end up thinking was it me or was there something I could have done? But this is actually coming after I am leveling up personally and professionally. So it's not just men but your growth and success. But you are right, letting go is the correct answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 10:01 PM
14

I've been applying FDS more in my real life than with men (I've noticed). I've been here for months lurking and your words have always stayed with me. I was actually under a different username when you recommended "codependent no more" to me (i messaged you about listening to the ebook) and that started me on my track to self improvement. It's all been uphill since then. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 09:03 PM
2

I've had disappointment after disappointment so I am getting used to it. I noticed that yes as you do try to level up, people's true colors show. They will either be encouraging and supportive - and these are the friendships I know that will be with me through thick or thin.. Or they will stop wanting to see you. Your growth and self improvement mindset makes them uncomfortable or jealous. Because your growth makes them compare and spotlights something that they are unhappy with something within…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 08:59 PM
2

I agree. I'm not a fan of these men because they should be treating their women like queens. But I do resent that these friends are making it clear that I am the one to blame. Or they would rather not invite me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 08:55 PM
72

This will be a long read... Here is something I've done that landed me a much better job at a much better company with a much better pay. FDS teaching: Never tell a man how men in your past have abused you. As far as they know you have been treated like a queen. Career version: My old job was beginning to make me unhappy but I didn't let them know that. On an interview they will ask you "why do you want to leave your current company?" My answer: "My coworkers are great and I enjoy my job, I don'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 08:50 PM
64

Something that not only has helped me with getting rid of men, but my career and my friendships as well. You don't have to prove to anyone your worth. You know what you're worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 08:08 PM
53

It gets me mad that I have had so many women friendships go down the drain because as soon as a man entered the scenario their behaviors would change. They'd be more competitive, start making snide remarks towards me, start preening and laughing at his lame jokes, being more accomodating to the man and would completely ignore me. What's funny is because they try so hard, and I make it 100% clear that I am not a fan of his presence, the man just ignores her and tries to include me in the conversa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 07:48 PM
19

I've definitely become very picky with the Kdramas I watch because of the culure. The older ones were very highly misogynistic. There are rare ones that have HVMs and HVWs like Crash Landing on You is a pretty solid story for me so far. But absolutely correct, because of the culture, the stories that the public loved tended more towards LVM and Pickmeisha behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 06:04 PM
15

Agreed. My point was how both subs have shown up in the news.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:49 PM
294

MGTOW got quarantined because of the news and FDS made the news in such a positive way..classic story of how it goes with LVMs and HVW's. This forum is the definition of a level up journey. Amazing stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:29 PM
36

"What are you even doing. Use that energy to power up a small city for the winter." This hardcore cracked me up and I will forever remember this phrase in my head when I start doing something stupid like making excuses for a man's bad behavior. Excellent quality post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:54 PM
27

She sounds like it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:44 PM
17

The Revolution is gaining traction 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:43 PM
8

Take time to find yourself. Your identity. Focus on healing yourself and discovering your strength to be by yourself. A lot of us here are on that journey and doing the work. It is hard and can get sometimes lonely, but know that it will be worth it in the end. You are prioritizing yourself finally and it will feel so foreign to be doing so. Once you start you'll wonder why you haven't been doing this your whole life. The loneliness may come and go but know you're not alone, tap into friends and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:34 PM
11

Thank you for sharing your story. Reading it made me upset because of just how much we get put through. Everyone deserves to be at peace... But you've done the work that you needed to do to ris yourself of the toxicity in your life, and you're finally getting there. So happy for you, fellow FDSer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:25 PM
22

Thank you, I was feeling some kind of way about this post because I am very into sex. It is an emotional thing for me so I'm into it. I never thought it was degrading because I enjoyed it and connecting with him. Certainly didn't mean that I had low self esteem when I was doing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:20 AM
25

Omg i have the exact same bathroom rug im dying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:59 AM
32

Trying to sow the last of his wild oats before he ties the knot. OP is probably one of the many he messaged. Low value male through and through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:56 AM
26

It's such an amazing and empowering feeling once you've realized this. Also that peace you obtain once you stop stressing over finding 'the one' and you just focus on you and developing yourself to become a better human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:54 AM
21

This was such a good analogy damn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:01 PM
1

Thats hilarious I like that flair
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:52 PM
33

I love and hardcore believe that third point. A man will not be your bestfriend. You also shouldn't make a man your bestfriend. He will always look out after his own interests. That's how they're built and socialized. Instead... build your connections and yojr emotional support with women. Older women younger women. We are fucking awesome. Especially when you find the ones who will drop everything for you and help out when the going gets tough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:51 PM
79

The first time he said "i can't" "don't have the time" or whatever some bullshit excuse, we need to just stop replying. Don't even give them the time or the effort to reply. Just go cold. There is no amount of words, groveling, texting, calling that will make a man change his mind. Trust me I've begged an ex who cheated on me to not throw away the eight years we had. I wish I hadn't because it just prolonged a relationship that made me the chaser of his affection for years. So lesson learned, ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:48 PM
18

I liked reading this. My instincts are duller because I've been sheltered the first 25 years of my life. But I was always told that men would protect me, men were good, men had my best interests at my heart. I put them on a pedestal because of my culture and my upbringing so when you talked about people not even knowing the danger when they are surrounded by sharks... that was me. It wasn't until recent events have opened my eyes of the selfishness of men. When they are nice its not for me. It's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 05:12 PM
16

I used to be so nice and polite. I stopped answering for my sanity. They love it when we reply and give them attention. "Hey how are you" "Thought of you randomly im back dating" "Hope you're doing well" "Are you still mad at me?" Low effort manipulative assholes. LeaveThemOnRead2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 03:33 AM
34

Did we all date the same guy??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 03:25 AM
17

Hi i hope you're okay. Thats a painful thing to see especially when it loos like he is happy. But remember that always happens w new relationships. Whatever failing he had will quickly pop up and she will see and also suffer the same pain as you have. When this happened to me I cried seeing my ex and another woman. I wasn't expecting it. But then I remembered all the reasons why we broke up, why it didn't work, what made the situation so shitty. And I remember saying "oh well, she's his problem …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 02:53 AM
7

He was pushing your boundaries. You set them by saying you want to go slow... he completely ignored that and tried to get you to have sex. Nothing is by accident. He thinks being a tall doctor will make women's panties more likely to come off. In my experience people who are in 'high status' positions are the worst at treating women. They think all they need to do is to have a good job and bring the money (let's add 'be tall' to that) and they think that gives them a free pass to push and push t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 08:37 PM
28

You deserve a man who loves you. A relationship where you aren't loved is lonely. It is a different kind of lonely than being by yourself. Once you mourn for a few days (take as long as you need), you will start to feel much better than you ever thought you could. Being lonely in a relationship is an icky, insidious feeling that eats away at your self esteem. Truly, you can fill your life and days with better things than that. Every woman needs to have this tattooed on their minds. There is a di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 07:58 PM
48

Ikr what the heck is up how nosy can someone get
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 07:52 PM
56

Holy shit. That was so hard to read but loved all the comments that ripped him a new one. What a selfish sociopathic piece of shit. We need a new flair for this type of post tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 05:19 PM
6

I'm in the same boat. Divorced last year and doing a lot of work on myself. I miss sex but I'm not ready to meet anyone. I also can't do FWB's because I end up getting attached. Tried it once, guy had red flags sirens screaming in my head and I still fell for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 04:36 AM
103

I love success stories. Glad you cut off the dead weight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 02:16 AM
4

This is one of my absolute favorite posts here, thank you. Financial independence is key. It gives you an out. It gives you options. We will always make bad decisions from time to time, but our financial independence and strong social ties will always make sure that we can get out of sticky situations. We aren't sitting ducks, helpless and dependent on some LVM to finally realize our worth. There comes such an awesome feeling to having that ability to walk away from any situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 01:13 AM
52

Less rejection when you say 'hang out' than when you say 'take you out on a date'. They're always trying to downplay shit to save face. My coworker was telling me a story of how someone asked her out before. "Jenny, I would like to take you out on a date sometime." Granted this was 10 years ago (no OLD so guys had to really muster their courage to ask someone out), he's an HVM. They're married with 2 kids now. But I always will remember that story because it's so rare to here it from guys nowada…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:29 PM
9

"I LOVE YOU" vs "I love what you can do for me". And being HVW's we will always get so much of the latter. I've learned to differentiate over time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:52 PM
18

Yes I love that title. Our energy is limited. We have to choose who is worthy to give it to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:34 PM
18

Absolutely. They can love you and show it in ways they are able to... they want to be with you but sometimes they are limited in capacity. You know how they feel. I gave someone a chance. Married him. Ended up staying too long. Ended up unhappy. So even if you do love each other, but the way they show you love is lacking despite communicating about it, you will end up unhappy and resenting them and yourself for staying with them. By the time you're done you're already too invested and wasted so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 06:28 PM
11

a mixture of primal needs and entitlement bound together by a fragile ego that needs the female energy to survive. Very well put
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:15 AM
12

I have a week off as I transition into jobs. Here's what I plan to do: send my bestie a care package in the mail continue the Strong Curves program I started go back to my martial arts classes, even once a week will do get more pieces to make my wardrobe more sleek and professional and donate my old clothes get back into writing my novel that I started a year ago meal prepping reading more books about inspirational women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 02:52 AM
25

Had a guy ask me out to coffee on a Sunday night. Coffee? On a Sunday night? When we both have work early Monday morning? God. I told him I wasn't free for coffee. He switched it to dinner Saturday night. I don't even know why you have to negotiate all the time with them. This guy I would consider to be an HVM too, but all of them are constantly testing what you will tolerate first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 09:03 PM
11

Omg one of the guys that I saw told me all about the women in his life, trying to make him a project, trying to get him to reform his bad boy ways. He thought it was funny. It's the norm for us women to think that "if he could just meet the right woman (me) he'd become good and faithful. He has so much potential". Like no. Bad boys make shit exciting but they also make your life miserable and full of tears. Also theh give you a variety of STD's, don't like using condoms etc etc. They are gross. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 08:57 PM
2

Lmao and this is coming after your original post of "tone down the kdramas". I hope you like it tho I loved it its one of my faves now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:25 AM
2

Lol PM me if you like it. It's such a cute show.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:18 AM
5

I'm watching Crash Landing on You on Netflix and the guy is definitely an HVM. Agree on that trend the old ones had scenes of him triangulating her with another, or him pulling her forcefully towards him, him only realizing his feelings after she gives up on him and his bullshit and starts dating another dood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:08 AM
71

Excuse me???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:04 AM
1

I love this comment so much. It describes what I have not been able to explain or organize in my head and put into words. And yes, when I do what I describe, it almost feels like magic, like witchcraft, exactly like you said. I am connecting spiritually with something else and it gives me an amazing energy. And I get this smile, I look at myself in the mirror, I don't even recognize my expression because it's like this knowing, confident, earthy woman smile. I am embracing the woo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:01 AM
8

I will kickstart this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:52 AM
3

I'm glad. God knows I need the reminder every now and then..it really helps to browse here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:23 AM
23

Form relations with strong women. Women who build other women up, and not get jealous of them. Trust your intuition on insecure women, your friendships won't become stronger with them. You are beautiful inside and out. Beauty is temporary but what makes you special is your soul. People will all want something from you so share yourself with people who give to your cup, and not just take from it or seek to poison it. There is more to life than men, than being a companion, a partner to a man. The …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:18 AM
2

Korean dramas
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:12 AM
6

K dramas gave me unrealistic expectations for sure lolol. Also the men be toxic and abusive af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:11 AM
62

Ugh why is this so fucking true. "You still mad at me?" "Hope you're not mad at me anymore" like it's your fault you couldn't control your emotions and you just had an overreaction instead of them being total sociopaths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:05 AM
11

I get this perspective as well and you articulated it well, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 01:58 AM
8

Weird, that's not what I saw. I'm a minority woman and I thought it was powerful and admirable. Not really something they were doing for the male gaze but "HERE WE STILL FUCKING ARE, WORLD. You told us we'd be irrelevant in the celebrity world after 30, YET HERE WE STILL FUCKING ARE. GO SUCK IT."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 10:57 PM
36

There is no one more hated than a confident woman, have you noticed that? It's like you can't be beautiful, intelligent, and confident. You must be beautiful but act like you aren't. Must be smart... but act like you aren't. I work with the smartest woman in my workplace. But she can't sound too smart because she intimidates all the old white men. She has to ask her questions in this sweet tentative way (even though that's not her personality. She has to phrase her suggestions like questions... …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 10:54 PM
23

Yes. I don't know how to explain it but since I've started living by myself, I have discovered my femininity and womanhood. Not living with a man, no. Living by myself. There are days when I am feeling down. I strip in front of the mirror, I put on earthy, sensual music, I look in the mirror and I celebrate my body. I touch the curves, roundness and softness, something society tries to define every now and then with ads and mass marketing... they are all meant to be there. My thighs are soft. My…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 10:22 PM
57

One example: shaming JLo and Shakira for the halftime performance. Two powerful sexy Latinas giving an amazing performance and all puritanical America was outraged because it was too risque. Really?? America really is scared of women owning their sexuality because it gives women too much power once we start being unashamed about celebrating our bodies, our femininity, our sensuality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 08:11 PM
8

I was amazed at just how amazing these women looked. They and their performances were stunning and it made me proud to be a woman because to me, it displayed how powerful they were and how commanding their presences were on stage, how talented they are, how beautiful they are. I was shocked at the negative feedback all over, it's almost like we didn't watch the same show. Or people just hate women when they're exhibiting power, confidence, sex appeal, beauty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 08:07 PM
4

This sounds promising but always be vetting. I do think we have to have a motto of "LVM until proven HVM" which can take months, maybe even years of vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 07:52 PM
5

This is why.. we always must make them work for it. Alwaaaays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 07:47 PM
44

It's all good. I'm doing really well, I shed a lot of dead weight after I initiated the divorce. I'm better mentally, physically, emotionally, financially without him. He was verbally and emotionally abusive so I just feel bad for the new girl. He does go after a certain type, like you called out "naive insecure pickmeisha." That was me until a couple of years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 05:25 AM
83

LVM's reach out to me every now and then. They are tempting. Good looking. Good jobs. Good families. Looks perfect on paper. They know it too, so their egos are so big. Sometimes I entertain the notion of messaging back. Because sometimes I'm bored. Horny. Lonely. Need a little pick me up. But I already know, I'm going to feel like crap after. I'm going to look at them and start wearing wearing those rose colored glasses, the ones that gloss over those glaring red flags and convince myself... so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 04:52 AM
166

100%. Why my LVM ex husband immediately knew what to say and what to do to get another replacement easily, and I'm taking months (maybe years who knows) of healing before I get back into trying to meet men again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 04:32 AM
8

Oops was supposed to reply to azngirls comment below
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 04:29 AM
40

Exactly. They all have expiry dates. Once the respect stops... that's your expiry date. Time to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 04:29 AM
60

My ex gave me unsolicited advice when he found a new girl immediately after. "I want you to be happy the way I'm happy. Some men will think you're intimidating so if you like them, you should definitely make the first move." I had problems with that but also constantly got told I am intimidating. I took that advice once and messaged a guy first who'd been displaying signs of interest for months at the gym. Guy asked me out for coffee after our gym session. He ended up telling me he had a girlfri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 04:19 AM
31

Yes when you do something for free people value it less. I dont know why, human psychology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 10:38 PM
5

Haha yes thats how i got the name!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 08:50 PM
8

Marriage has a way of making you complacent because we've been taught that as a woman that is your end goal. That once you get there and have kids, you've made it. I had believed that for years until I was in a bad marriage where I lost all my identity. I would wake up days and think, looking at his back, "is this it? Is this what life is meant to be?" I'm out and on my level up journey. This sub has helped so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 07:33 PM
12

Yep, it's amazing how productive I became once I stopped focusing on men who never did shit for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 07:27 PM
38

Valentine's day will be my last day at my old job, because I'm starting a new one a week later, with a more senior position and getting paid 20k+ more. No men, but mo' money for this gal. I'm a-ok with that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 07:24 PM
12

There's gotta be some guilt-tripping, triangulation, sorrybutnotreallysorry. So much bullshit. Block forever. You won't be happy with this one. An offer of marriage is a huge deal. But along the road... couple of months, years after... you'll realize what a mistake it was. It's a nice touch when they always come back tho. Take that W, block and forget!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 07:21 PM
3

No response is the best response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 07:18 PM
24

The most relevant question is: why is her pinky nail okay looking while the ring finger nail looks all grown out like there's several miles of bare nail before you see the fake nails im baffled
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 07:00 PM
15

Like being committed is a death sentence or lifetime imprisonment. Or like women are captors to men who are just wild animals that struggle while women get their claws (or really bad nails) on them. No sir. Set him back into the wild where he belongs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 06:58 PM
21

I just used this to check. Really useful tool, thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 06:27 PM
10

Manipulative, all of them. They can't just be honest with their feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 05:56 PM
3

That's good to know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 05:42 PM
66

14 years, 4 kids, guy works at burger king, prison, baby mama dramas!. wonder what makes men like this 'hold out' on marriage like they honestly think their commitment is such a valuable thing. Also why is she so proud... love really is a hell of a drug Edit: i just reread the whole post and not sure if this is a joke or not cus it reads like an onion article
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 05:40 PM
48

I used to be a hardcore pick-me. I only started questioning the way things were when even throughout all the goodness and kindness I've shown them, I still kept getting burnt. I remember asking "is something wrong with me? Am I so unworthy in their eyes of being treated well?" I realized it was me. My lack of boundaries. My desire to please. Combined with their opportunistic nature. I thought men and women were built the same, that to the core they'd have compassion and empathy. No, men are rais…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 05:29 PM
1

Being single forever seems more and more tempting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 05:24 PM
170

Love this post. It spoke to me because I experienced almost everything in this one and I'm fed up. First sign of direspect and I'm gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 01:56 PM
236

Are men ever grateful for something... anything you do for them? Or do they all feel entitled to such things, as if it's their right when things are given to them or done for them? I remember giving my ex full body massages, they'd last an hour and I thought I'd help him relax after a full work day (even though I had a full work day myself). He would always sigh and say "yup I deserve this". Just wondering why they are never grateful or recognize when we extend ourselves to them? I want to know …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 06:27 AM
6

I liked the happy ending of this story. It gives me hope because I still have regrets and I'm currently on a level up journey. It's like walking uphill right now, I'm waiting to enjoy the view from the top
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 11:51 PM
23

Every time a wee scrote cries, a new born queen begins her rise. Love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 03:55 PM
55

Wtf. I am enraged reading this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 03:39 PM
47

I loled at that line. Like she just realized how old and wrinkly you look when she was exposed to an attractive dude her age. It's not that complicated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 11:35 PM
11

I wonder how mods know whether an account holder is a man or a woman if its a throwaway account? I had this as a throwaway just for FDS tbh... but I could have easily been a dude posting crap
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 11:18 PM
8

Smile. Look amazing and beautiful. "I'm great, just been busy." 'Have you gotten my texts?' 'Yeah i was just really busy at that time and forgot to reply!' No sadness. No bitterness. Carefree. Think of him as a season in your life that has passed by. Maybe with fondness... maybe bittersweet. But the important thing is... that season in your life has come and gone. And you're living your best life in the present now. Always blows them away when you're so happy and fulfilled without them lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 06:51 PM
7

Awesome post and promotes support and encouragement of women instead of jealousy and competitiveness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 05:47 PM
25

The mentality that helps me: "I'm so amazing and awesome. Any man would be lucky to get my time and attention. You've already shown how little you value me when you get my time and attention, so hell no, you're not even going to get a single chance anymore. I'll save it for someone who actually recognizes an amazing worthy woman when he sees one." TL:DR: fuck off my fine ass is too good for you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 05:16 PM
60

"I'm sorry but... you just made me so mad. Why are you so unreasonable?" "I'm really a nice guy." "Hope you're not mad at me anymore." "I swear I didn't know!" "If you slept with me when I visited you I wouldn't have had to have cheated with her."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:27 PM
67

Yup. I tried to teach them how to treat women right for years. Basic decency. Hygiene. Etiquette. Good manners. Things you should say or not say in front of a woman. Things you should do for a woman. Things women would appreciate. Guess who benefits from that? The women they leave you for afterwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:15 PM
11

I can appreciate the list, I can see your point in making it. It's geared more towards conventional beauty in society. I do apply some of these, because I need to look presentable for my career. The more I took care of myself the more I got noticed and had more opportunities for promotions and getting new jobs. It just makes your life easier all around and gives you a leg up to achieve your goals. However being HVW means just do whatever you like and whatever you're comfortable with. No matter h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:12 PM
29

I just saw my future self in your friend... had I not taken the steps to break myself out of a toxic cycle. I lurked this sub for months and months, kept going back to posts and comments, to remind myself to not fall for that push pull shit worthless men love to do. I'm so glad to have realized my worth, to be out of that situation. I'm so thankful for my friends and my family, as well as this sub which I've browsed many late nights whenever I felt like stalking his social media or being weak an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 05:14 AM
7

I love this sub so much when I read the comments it's like women who needed to find support found it through FDS sisters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:23 AM
13

You guys got this. We're here for you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:22 AM
8

Same. I love her to bits because she taught me to value my education but... when it came to men, women are supposed to bend over backwards and accomodate them. Even post divorce, despite knowing what I've been through with my ex LVM manchild, she thought I should have been more patient with him. Intelligent when it came to other things but the ultimate pleaser and pickmeisha and she handed down those habits to me for years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:21 AM
12

I love this. Been learning to do this since my divorce and realized just how much I cater to everyone else but me. Although I've been through some rough shit I am so thankful these happened to me to make me realize the lessons I needed to learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:14 AM
16

Forgot the twizzlers and the pencils. We're inclusive here y'know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:10 AM
29

Yup was gonna comment it's so not worth it. Don't waste time and head space any longer on this guy. The best revenge is moving on and living your best lire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:05 AM
6

Education does not equate intelligence. Sometimes the most intelligent people did not have the opportunity to pursue further education.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:04 AM
16

This has been my mindset and have deleted my apps ages ago. It wasted so much of my time and I regret not using those hours on my personal development. However it did make me see what it was all about and the quality of guys that I meet there... so that one good thing that came out of it. Maybe when I'm ready for it again. Maybe. For now I'm good. If someone in real life steps up and I like him, why not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:02 AM
5

Know that this is temporary and missing him is part of your healing process. If you go back to him it will be a cycle of toxicity, you will regret the time you wasted knowing how he really is. Just take your time, be kind to yourself and recognize that missing him is normal. However everytime you are reminscing dangerously about the good times, you need to remind yourself of why you broke it off. I suggest writing things down, every little thing he did or said that made you lose respect for him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 03:58 AM
8

Proud of you! I love hearing stories like these!!! I myself am on a level up journey because of this sub. My last decade was full of misery from people who held me down but I'm finally able to fly freely and find myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 06:48 PM
9

Gonna use "scrote vampires gonna scrote vampire" from here on out whenever I witness LVM behavior
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 06:46 PM
10

Ex husband was like this. He justified it as "how his family communicated". He grew up in that environment and had anger issues. It will only get worse and your self esteem will erode because you normalize it. Nobody deserves to get verbally abused. The respect is no longer there. Edit: I'm adding this to emphasize the importance that yelling is verbal abuse. YOU don't yell at people you respect or value. Next will be gaslighting you into thinking it's normal. Or you made him so mad and angry he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 05:33 AM
6

I'm so glad you got out of that situation and have healed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 05:30 AM
13

Take it one day at a time. Have short term ones you can break apart... for instance for three months I resolved to eating better and mealprepping. Three months ago I said I was going to work out at least three times a week. You start doing these things slowly until they all piece together and slowly integrate in your life. Don't try to do it all at once because you'll get overwhelmed. Remember we all started where you're at. Some people never realize these things and don't make a turnaround in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:36 AM
30

I feel like we saw the same person. Super immature for his age. Video games. Porn addicted. Controlling. Went after younger women because they are easy to manipulate. Still wants to find 'the one' but doesn't make an effort to improve himself. Basically an antisocial asshole to everyone. Selfish and only thinks of his needs. Prides himself in breaking women's hearts and toying with people's emotions. Huge coward when called out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:33 AM
22

The LTR is usually one who dumped him because he made her a forever girlfriend. Or dumped him because of cheating. Or dumped him because she got tired of his bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:29 AM
26

The year is 3049 AD and world is still waiting for them to start going their own way...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:24 AM
20

I'm just worried it's more ammo for LVM to play being high value for a couple of months and then show his true colors after
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:22 AM
29

Somewhere out there some incel is wondering if you have a spycam aimed at him. Too accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:22 AM
14

Kindness, integrity, compassion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:18 AM
10

Oh god this was how my marriage was. To the T
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 10:58 PM
18

Thank you for sharing. I can relate... had a relationship where I was so attracted to him I initiated all the time. Once I realized this was going nowhere and stopped it, he got so angry. It's crazy how entitled they can get to something they've received and taken for granted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 10:53 PM
13

I like that analogy a lot. It's too true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 08:30 PM
11

No worries at all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 08:23 PM
25

Noted! I've joined
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 08:21 PM
7

Most like. The insecurity was palpable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:50 PM
8

Exactly. Settled for less? Been there done that. Put a man first before my career? Done. I regret every moment of it. It's all about me baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:48 PM
6

They lambast us for wanting a man who is financially stable and can show he can provide... but at the same time don't want us to pursue our careers. Lololol. I thought they were the logical ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:47 PM
18

It's exactly this. "Please don't make yourself too threatening that I can't feel like a man approaching you and having a relationship with you."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:33 PM
13

Yes 100% agree. Its like ordering an uber but with women for them. They view it that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:48 PM
7

Same here. As a single woman with PCOS and can't do FWB, sometimes it is hell... can you PM me what medication has helped you? Thinking of going on spiro or something. I am not going back to hormonal BC because that shit messed me up for years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:40 PM
9

Quality post, agree so much. I tried OLD for a couple of hours... got two dates and promptly concluded that it isn't for me. It wasted so much of my time I felt I could be more productive some other way. I could have been meal prepping, working out, working on my book, catching up on shows... instead I was boosting some subpar man's ego. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:08 PM
18

The bar is so loooow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:01 PM
23

This comment right here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:37 PM
202

I was calling out a man's treatment of women. He'd admitted to a lot of things, using women like objects, continuing stringing them along for sex even after they've confessed to falling in love with him, making sure he was the only one in their hearts to secure his supply... he is a blight to women and I feel bad for everyone involved including me. He actually teared up and said "I'm like this because my ex screwed me over. I didn't used to be this bad." Now younger me would have thought 'oh no …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:29 PM
39

👏👏 One of my good friends is single. I asked him why he isn't dating. He said "I want to make more money and be able to afford a woman to treat her right." Yes this is what a good man thinks like. No entitlement in this man's mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:17 PM
40

First off, why do they assume that we all want to be 'high value' for them? We want to be high value to ourselves, our families, our friends, and our community. Second, do they all have this idea that as career women we are just letting our looks go? LMAO. We're at the gym, eating healthy, working on our hobbies, volunteering, having an amazing social life... we have to field men off left and right to get to an actual man who won't be threatened by a woman with intelligence and a good career. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:13 PM
3

Solids will always look more timeliness and classy. Prints can be a hit or miss, more seasonal and trendy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:02 PM
29

Tbh the moment I sense I am giving more than what he is giving me I drop him. I think I've become so jaded with men that I can show my generosity and affection but I am still able to drop them once they cause me pain, anxiety...issues to my health. I don't even weigh pros and cons at that point, I am learning to value myself more in my 30's because I've suffered so much in my 20's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:02 PM
3

Thank you I will definitely do this. Can't have delusions bringing me down, one message was particularly ridiculous I didn't even bother with any of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 04:50 PM
3

That's awesome, congratulations! Pretty sweet when things work out better than expected
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 04:49 PM
2

Same boat except I can't do FWB's. I'm fine being celibate until I vet someone worthy of giving this up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:26 AM
31

They have all the time to lurk, stalk, and compose messages like these. I'm not surprised anymore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:11 AM
9

We tolerated so much bullshit because of 'love'. And because we thought we had to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:02 AM
11

Never feel bad about working towards your future and saving. We all have to sometimes grit our teeth and sacrifice for a bit so we can reap rewards later. Keep going!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 04:09 AM
31

I literally have followed a man thousands of miles away. Was it worth it? No. 5 years later I have nothing to show for it. Better invest in following your dreams and your career. Always in yourself. Lady Gaga was right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 04:08 AM
3

You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 04:07 AM
7

Lmao! Thank God I don't have a fax machine. Can you send dick pics through that I dont even know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 04:06 AM
63

Don't forget she must be smoking hot and dressed sexy at home doing chores, always be thinking about sex (only with him of course) and also never nag him about his lack of motivation, erectile dysfunction, alcoholism, his video game and porn addiction, etc etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 01:39 AM
20

Yeah make way for men who are actually worth dating. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 01:29 AM
70

And honestly once they know what you bring to the table they start being hella insecure. "I THOUGHT U WUZ JUZ A PRETTY FACE BUT YOU READ BOOKS TOO??"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 12:49 AM
35

I'm crying at the accuracy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 12:45 AM
39

Yay more free press
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 12:36 AM
142

Seems the default setting of most men is " selfish." While we're raised to be givers, empaths, nurturers, society raises men to be opportunists and sociopaths. The necessity to apply FDS and be ruthless when it comes to weeding out toxic LVM becomes even more necessary for our emotional, mental, physical, and financial well being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 12:19 AM
9

Agree with everything in this comment. Insecure and emotionally abusive. Congratulations on finally getting out. Make sure you have no contact with this leech. He will try to hoover you back as narcissists will. Love yourself and heal first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 12:15 AM
29

Here are some things I've been doing which may help you. If there is any certifying body in your field, go for it. Certifications always help. Network with people in the industry. By that I mean befriend HR folks or people you know who are always in the know about openings within your company or industry. Update your LinkedIn profile, there are tips online to making sure your LinkedIn is attractive to recruiters, I would look that up. If you are planning to switch departments in your company, I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 11:29 PM
23

Nope. I was a clown for a very long time. I'm awake now. Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 11:20 PM
17

Why do I feel like "it was fun while it lasted" the fuckboy anthem when you finally tell them you've had enough of their bullshit. Do they all read from the same manual? Is there a fuckboy script given out? I read posts like this everyday from this sub and the lines they feed us are all the same unless we've all slept with the same jerk, it's uncanny the similarity of the lines they feed women Edit: sorry i got upset and missed the point of the post. I meant to say I am so so so glad you've fina…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 11:18 PM
42

I saw that post and cringed like why would you use these terms in real life come on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 10:48 PM
23

Amen. The bar has been set so low for human decency, sometimes we have to take a step back. Dick is abundant and low value. They have to prove themselves. We don't go begging. We know our worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 10:44 PM
33

Probably accurate but he is pretty weak. He always used to joke he would totally be a part of MGTOW. But he started looking for a replacement for me even before he'd moved out. I found a box of condoms in the recycling... didn't even have the respect to wait until he'd gotten his own place. But weak men like this can't handle being by themselves. He literally told me "I need another manager like you" and now he's with a pickmeisha who probably nurtures and mommies him like I used to do before I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 10:33 PM
7

I did the same thing as you. Got on OLD because everyone was telling me I needed to do it. Time was wasting and I needed to put myself out there. That I wasn't going to meet anyone organically just waiting... The whole process of me updating my OLD profile, I felt disheartened. Like this wasn't me. There also was that feeling of desperation... like I was advertising myself with a couple of pictures and some witty sentences hoping I'd find a decent man that would swipe. Had two dates with a reall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 10:28 PM
72

Lol I'm way hotter in my 30's than in my 20's. The cope they have to keep telling themselves to justify scaring women into settling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 10:21 PM
8

Please have her read Melody Beattie's books. I've listened to "Beyond Codependency" and it helped me realize so many things about my behaviors in that relationship. It will help her realize it's not love that she is staying for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 10:06 PM
3

I'm permanently giving up. I know 100% I will not find the love of my life in there. It's like a catalogue for men to roll the dice on and hopefully 'win a night' with the picture he swiped on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 09:20 PM
6

And then those cheapass ugly cubic zirconias be thinking they're diamonds 🤪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 09:19 PM
3

I wrote in my journal all the shitty things he did to me. Everything that made me feel like less than I was, that came from his mouth, every single thing he did no matter how minor, that dug at my self esteem and made me feel negative, I wrote it down. I even wrote at the end... "And you miss him? You are kidding me right???" And when I start reminscing about the "good times" I read those same three pages over and over again. I have to admit the final note where I'm scolding my future self helps…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 09:12 PM
15

I just watched First Wives Club again recently and the song has been stuck in my head for weeks. You don't own meeee...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 09:01 PM
42

This sub is awesome. Feels like a safe space for women finally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 08:56 PM
49

"They don't try to "hoover" us back in because they care about us. They do it because they miss how WE made THEM feel. They're lonely and they remember they had us at one time and maybe they can have us again." Perfectly said. That's how they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 08:47 PM
19

I've been on the same boat. Sounds like a codepency issue. "I can't leave him because he doesn't know what to do without me"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 08:34 PM
75

She was trying to keep her expression impartial but I could tell how incredulous she was. That moment was the moment that made me realize just how crappy of a partner he was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 08:05 PM
18

LVM hate the fact that we have lives other than them. They can't stand not being the center of your world so make passive aggressive comments about this. But best believe once you do allot more time for them they take you for granted. No winning with LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 08:00 PM
23

Ego. Plus when you're doing the dumping you've already steeled yourself to emotionally detach. Your emotions had a head start and you made that decision. As opposed to getting dumped kind of like a rug getting pulled out under you... even if it was the worst kind of relationship. Similar to "i'm not fired, I quit" mentality
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 07:57 PM
7

Second this. Be comfortable. In case they turn out to be terrible and handsy, you need to run out of there right away etc etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 07:54 PM
8

Thank you. I refuse to tell any poorly raised man how to treat me well because he will learn from that and fool other HVW's into thinking he's high value based on what 'rules' / 'boundaries' I told him. No sir I'm not giving you more ammo to further your selfish agenda and dupe more women. They know how they should treat women. They just refuse to do it because they're low effort and constantly want to push boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 07:47 PM
5

Same that's one of my favorite romcoms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 06:27 PM
286

A year ago I went to marriage counseling with my LVM ex husband. One point of contention was chores. Counselor asks: "What do you want him to do to make things better for you?" Me: I just need him to take out the trash and be in charge of dishes. Counselor: That's it?? Me: Yes those would help a lot. Counselor to my ex: Do you think you can do that? Ex: I can't make any promises. LVM's gonna LVM. No matter how hard you work, their entitlement, selfishness, and delusions will drive you insane. Gl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 06:22 PM
15

My ex started dating other people even before he had moved out. I'm still not dating and not planning to date and it's been a year. Unlike him I don't need to have a another mommy/therapist lined up for my selfish needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 11:45 AM
15

Thank you for this. Needed to read this because I was reminiscing dangerously about someone I thought was HVM but gave me mixed signals. I ended it but now he's trying to reach back from the dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 05:25 AM
3

Reading your comment... Something just clicked in me about the man who strung me along. It all makes sense now. They fancy themselves as being heartbreakers but hate when the women they play around with finally get fed up and fricking move on. All for the ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 10:19 PM
5

I love this song!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 03:09 AM
8

Omg that last part had me dying with laughter
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 03:09 AM
17

This is exactly it. I've been in a grieving process ending a long term relationship that I made my purpose in life and I've finally realized the beauty of 'finally existing for myself'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:36 AM
40

I always think I wish I had known this in my 20's I would've been spared a lot of heartache. But that is the beauty of life lessons. You don't get there by always making the correct decisions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:01 AM
14

I hope you are well and seeing a therapist or talking to a friend to help talk you through some of your fears. So glad you are rid of this man. I have recently gotten rid of a toxic one and have woken up with anxieties about him just popping up and forcing himself in, I've thought of getting a firearm to help shake the fear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 05:02 AM
3

I needed to hear this so bad. Was in the exact same boat. I'm feeling weak right now with an LVM trying to weasel back into my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 05:47 AM
6

How many times can you 'report'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 06:37 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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