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pildorado Archive

View 8 posts and 129 comments by pildorado on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

OYS 1 43M/39F Married 10 , Together 15 / 3 toddlers 6'1" 175 13%BF Navy (corrected) I read sidebar and did some work back in 2016-2018 (post history). Starting from scratch. No alcohol or porn 4 days. No TV, News or phone. Need to reset. I reread WISNIFG and intro sidebar over the last couple days Starting NMMNG. Going to try and keep this short and sweet to avoid a spill over from my VP. I'm posting this week in OYS as a starting point. Current My whole compound is currently on fire. Crisis mod…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/22 02:41 PM
1

I will walk if that's best. Not sure yet the exact course of action. I have consulted with an attorney. Need to MAP and begin to reframe. Going to start doing the work.
/r/askMRP01/02/22 04:39 AM
0

You're right. Time to get back to work.
/r/askMRP01/02/22 04:35 AM
2

Solid advice. Daycare is on as of this week and going to let it go until next covid disruption and then can intervene. Also, need to just start working so I won't be the alternative.
/r/askMRP30/01/22 12:04 AM
2

Mother in law was in tow for one year only and then I got her out. She is now in the same town, working full time and will hang on the weekends only with wife and kids without me around. Old business is brick and mortar and client based. In my experience it takes about 3 years to become fully profitable but, that could be shorter in this market. I've been out of the game for a bit. Also, when covid hit I began training for a career switch to a remote line of work. Switch will be difficult but, m…
/r/askMRP29/01/22 11:58 PM
2

Active MRP was 2016 - 2017 and left the sub frame was shaky. Pregnancy and kids broke me.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 10:44 PM
2

Wha? Diet is on track. Always been diet conscious. Eliminating meat for a couple months to lower cholesterol and have succeeded. Might stay off permanently as BF went away completely with no meat. Was always high protein and my heart is now fucked. High carb and now low BF and blood looks good. Still learning.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 10:42 PM
8

Fucking nailed it, Also, just had to get shit done like keeping the babies alive. Things are in a different place now. They are old enough for daycare. I shepherded us through postpartum and all the shit over the last 2.5 years the only way I knew how at the time. Completely lost myself in the process. Time to reframe.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 08:06 PM
5

Very light right now due to new diet. I fluctuate easily. At height of having my shit together I was 185 low BF and muscular. During early covid / new father (drinking and eating a lot), 195 with muscles but soft. Priority at the moment is getting cholesterol and BP in range. DNGAF about sexy biceps right now.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 08:03 PM
3

Salaried position. This is one of the more chill schedules she has had. My former career was also a 12 hour a day job. It will begin slow if I restart here soon. I got a study done on my heart and will have results next week that will give a good picture of how fucked I actually am. This thread is giving me some good points. Going to wait to hear how close to death's door I am and then make some serious changes and stick to it. In the meantime, I appreciate the advice.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 07:59 PM
4

Kind of where I am at.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 07:51 PM
5

I kicked grandma out a year and a half ago. Wife is working 8-8. Three babies. Have not had access to consistent childcare, fits and stops with a few short lived nannies. All good advice. I am trying to unfuck myself here and appreciate it.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 07:49 PM
4

My former high-paying job will require three years to get back fully functioning. Was also hoping to make a career switch due to chronic overuse injuries from said occupation. Don't want to dox myself but, it is a highly physical trade with long hours. Realized when I stopped working most of my chronic injuries I had been dealing with largely just went away. At this point, thinking about starting to rebuild old business and endure the physical pain while also attempting new career path. Right no…
/r/askMRP29/01/22 07:41 PM
2

At 2 years of MRP I decided for some reason I had "arrived" and left the sub. Had another 1.5 years of weak frame coasting until kids came and then major shifts. I am essentially at the beginning again. Probably need to STFU, lurk for a bit and reframe. Just wanted to get the ball rolling.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 07:28 PM
0

Absolutely, I don't trust easily. Bottom line: I slacked, backslid and failed to realize a MAP and blindly marched forward in good faith and now I am going to pay the price. Thought I had arrived, more work to do...
/r/askMRP27/10/17 08:01 PM
3

Yes, never thought about it that way. Codependency could be an issue.
/r/askMRP27/10/17 06:42 PM
2

My interest in our marriage is the value she does bring. Not children. My child hood was marked by early divorce, single mom always working to support my brother and I. I grew up fast and have always been good at looking after myself and others, very determined, very high standards for myself and others. Probably need to lower my expectations of people. I only have my own experience for relationship models.
/r/askMRP27/10/17 06:40 PM
1

Will take your advice. Agreed on all points. Thank you.
/r/askMRP27/10/17 06:33 PM
1

In marriage counseling we had all our cards on the table. Her's was that without trying for children she was out (line in the sand). Mine was with abusive behavior and disfunction, we are not having children or marriage (line in the sand). Marriage counselor totally agreed on this point. We were able to get our shit together and like I said had a year + without a hiccup. Felt comfortable moving forward and thought we had outgrown old modes of behavior. Me taking kids back off the table will nuke…
/r/askMRP27/10/17 06:30 PM
1

Thank you. I am severely disappointed in my behavior. I have gotten much better at not bottling up and stewing resentment. Rather, communicating clearly and removing myself when the temperature rises. However, her severe verbal abuse is the issue for me. One of the huge obstacles I have overcome is my complete lack of boundaries. Agreed that my nuclear reaction was stupid and calls into question my deeper demons but, how is it possible to change the tone of an abusive relationship without bounda…
/r/askMRP27/10/17 06:05 PM
1

Had a low point yesterday. Getting back in the saddle. Thank you.
/r/askMRP13/09/16 06:20 PM
1

Glad I could help... Feel better man.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/16 06:19 PM
0

Owned Health is Wealth. Lifting and fitness is going well. No real injuries or weakness aside from chronic sciatica. Joined a new gym with better facilities. Doing one hour and thirty minutes on weights (modified 5x5) and have started adding in a half hour long swim and then 10 minute sauna sweat / mediation every workout (3-4 days a week). Long hikes with milage and elevation on recovery days. Yoga / stretching / mediation most mornings. Also started doing exercises to repair kyphoid back and t…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/16 06:13 PM
1

Been with her for 10, married 5. She has been bonkers many times. Tables turned about two years ago when I first left her 10 hours from home while on vacation. Been working full time on a solution ever since. I don't take her shit, I don't fight with her. I no longer tolerate any abuse. I am mostly unaffected by her, other than my wishing she was pleasant to be around more often than not. Doesn't mean that she won't try to engage. Running my MAP till end of year unless we have some sort of fallo…
/r/askMRP13/09/16 05:00 PM
1

Ahh yes. The secret to happiness... Lowered expectations. Very well written response BTW. Thank you.
/r/askMRP13/09/16 04:52 PM
1

So tell me, do you believe -- in the most objective view possible -- that your wife's shitty attributes are unchangeable? Is she aware of them? Is she capable of changing them? I have had a lot of experiences with people in my life that have serious behavioral flaws and despite being given the best circumstances continually fail. I agree with you completely that change can happen but, it comes from within that person as a genuine desire, not from outside influence. Coming off of this trip yester…
/r/askMRP13/09/16 04:50 PM
1

I'm trying. IMO, my marriage is looking a lot like the election this year. Lesser of two evils. Which way to go?
/r/askMRP12/09/16 05:22 PM
1

This is fiction. Albeit possible. Funny you mention leaving her. After 10 years of this behavior from her, it came to a head about a year and a half ago where she had one of her level 10 freakouts in public. We were on a road trip on Christmas vacation going to another cabin in the woods when she starting throwing a fit because I wanted to get off the freeway to take a piss. She didn't want to stop. Long story short she ended up losing it in a McDonald's parking lot. I told her the vacation was …
/r/askMRP12/09/16 05:13 PM
1

Ha! Could you imagine a gaggle of sister wives. The balls these men must have. Hats off.
/r/askMRP12/09/16 05:03 PM
1

I will do that. Thank you.
/r/askMRP12/09/16 05:02 PM
2

Well stated. Thank you.
/r/askMRP12/09/16 05:01 PM
2

Cool. Thank you. I agree with everything here. I guess I am writing from a position of knowing my post history. This is the first time in months I have dialed back into being present with my wife. She has been on the sidelines for 5 months other than logistics and sex. I have realized recently that I will need to balance some BP back in for this to be a sustainable situation. I am still improving and finding my way (Never stops. Right?). I have "sidebarred" the fuck out of myself full time. I ha…
/r/askMRP12/09/16 05:00 PM
3

I am making an argument for the fact that NAWALT. There are varying scales of intensity. Some women are more sexual that others, some softer, some sweeter. In RP and MRP there is an outlined Order of Operations and anything that may fall outside of that flowsheet is relegated to the OP is fucktard treatment. I get it and I think the tough love approach is warranted. However, there are a few of us here where dead bedrooms are not the problem. I am trying to find my way to make the time spent in t…
/r/askMRP12/09/16 04:47 PM
1

Having a very hard time being present with her and tolerating the BS. It is like a siege. Boxed in from all sides. Acting completely independent, self improving, spending time at the gym, working on my own pursuits and largely NGAF as outlined in the 12 Steps of Dread are very enjoyable for me. In this manner I have complete OI and the day to day is great. That in contrast to a three day weekend with my wife. Something that is arguably HARD to NOT enjoy. It's a fucking challenge to get through t…
/r/askMRP12/09/16 04:35 PM
1

Please elaborate. In all seriousness. I am trying to improve. I am also trying to state things as realistically as possible. I have no intention of winning the internet.
/r/askMRP12/09/16 04:11 PM
1

Point taken.
/r/askMRP12/09/16 04:09 PM
1

I have complete OI in terms of my wife. She has had level 10 nuclear comfort tests because of my constant DNGAF attitude. I know that A + B = C in RP. Is it not possible there are more complicated equations that arise? for the love of Gingy have some fun with it I wish I could. Time with her is not fun.
/r/askMRP12/09/16 04:04 PM
1

I would say level 6. However, my wife being attracted to me and wanting to fuck me is not the problem. The problem is she treats people with disrespect. I am convinced this is a part of her personality. Me flirting with waitresses is not going to improve her shitty attitude IMO.
/r/askMRP12/09/16 04:01 PM
1

Do you game her? Kino? Ten second make outs? Are you more than a workaholic? Whatever you may have been told, a checkbook with legs is boring. The problem I keep finding myself in, is that I find her repulsive with the constant BS attitude. I went into the weekend with good intention, not covert contracts. I wanted to go on an adventure and bring her along. Then I find myself wishing I was alone. It's hard to 10 second make out someone that can't stop fucking with you. I don't think it's really …
/r/askMRP12/09/16 03:54 PM
1

I am giving myself till end of year at least. I am always hopeful it will begin to improve. I will say the situation has improved by leaps in bounds regarding my reaction to her. I used to be angry all the time, now I am just focused on myself. That focus has facilitated a lot of personal growth in five month's time. For that I am thankful.
/r/askMRP12/09/16 03:42 PM
1

Good post and a good reminder. Watching Katrina go down on TV made me realize there is no safety net. I will say that the "prepper" mentality can be taken a little too far IMO. Planning for a two week natural disaster is good forethought. Planning for a zombie apocalypse that will never happen feels a little like mental illness.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 02:48 PM
1

There is no way to kill the ego completely. Ego is a good thing. It keeps us aware of who we are and what we stand for. The real trick is to keep it in balance. Give it a little pat on the back once in awhile to let it know everything's alright and conversely be aware enough to know when it's running wild and knock it back into place. Our ego will be dead some day. None of us get out of this life alive.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 02:39 PM
3

Boom. Moving past STFU is a big step. In addition, as effective as AA and AM are, sometimes you have to quit fucking around and get down to brass tacks. Silent brooding and cocky smart ass might be effective 80% of the time. Occasionally you are going to have to have an honest conversation. I think the OP nails it when he says that your state of mind, body language and the things coming out of your mouth must be congruent. Then there is no room for misinterpretation. Moreover, if you are angry, …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 02:32 PM
1

When I arrived here five month's ago I was a skinny fat nice guy. I am only halfway through my MAP. I am giving myself till at least the end of the year before making any big decisions. It's possible she could force my hand before then depending on how far she wants to take her behavior. However, I think that's unlikely. As far as I can tell marriage is quite possibly the best vehicle for personal growth. I could land an HB 8 but, I'd probably just fuck that up too. I'm not there yet.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 02:19 PM
1

This is not about talking too much, although that did not work well for me. It is about a mixed, or incongruent, message of, I want this marriage to work, and I exclude you emotionally. Too much alpha, not enough good beta comfort. This is it. That and I still have along way to go on leading. Leadership is a massive gap in my frame. Thanks again.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 02:22 AM
1

Just went back trough my post history and nearly every post is identical. Me feeling high on life and generally easy going, then comes harpy BS and I lay down the boundaries and she continually kicks sand around. My first FR, ah how easily I forget. Everyone is right. Talking doesn't do a damn thing. This morning I get up at dawn to do my yoga meditation thing for an hour before she gets up, afterwards I am feeling fucking awesome. I made a plan to go on a long hike with her this morning before …
/r/askMRP08/09/16 12:01 AM
1

I'm going to work on turning that frown upside down.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:57 PM
2

Is it possible I am completely blind to my anger and resentment? A subconscious wound? I am not in a healthy relationship, this is obvious. I am at fault for that as much as she is. I am working OT to try and resolve my deficits, I have not arrived. I will never be complete. I will admit my frame is weak in my ability to lead her to a better place. This is my challenge. I can say with 100% certainty that my focus is completely on myself and has been for the majority of this year. In her estimati…
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:51 PM
1

It feels like more yardage now. However, you are probably right. I am making my own way here a little. I was definitely operating outside of RP theory last night. Happy to post here for everyone's reflection.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:41 PM
1

Clarification, my project with my partner was strictly a creative endeavor. My business is humming along nicely. For the last five month's I have spent 90% of my energy on fitness / self improvement, work and said creative project. Doesn't leave a lot of time for my wife or her BS. She was badly hurt to see me so emotionally wound up about my friend when I have been completely independent of her for the last half year. Hence her level 10 shit test while I'm vulnerable. She is a workaholic. I hav…
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:36 PM
1

I appreciate all you have had to offer in my last two posts. That said, I try to be as accurate as possible here as this is not just a sounding board. I respect the work that's being done here and the only way I and others will find benefit is to be as honest as possible. Serious question, In your opinion. What inconsistencies (incongruence) do you find in my post history?
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:27 PM
1

Have not read Models. I will procure a copy.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:23 PM
1

Thank you BPP. Listened to your podcasts and I am aware of the correct response. I guess it's possible to respond to a spirited fuck you with AA. I am at the point in my journey where an ultimatum is coming to surface. Most guys in here can't get their wives to fuck them. Pussy is not my problem. Moreover, not to sound like a prick but, outside of this marriage I am confident I could have twenty something HB 8, 9 and 10's. So the "Fuck me or fuck you" ultimatum does not apply. My frame is so int…
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:21 PM
1

Have to run before you can walk. Yes, the bar is low because we need to maintain that standard at least. I am focused on self improvement forever. I am focused on this relationship for as long as I need to be. There is still work to be done before leaving.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 10:10 PM
1

I will preface with the fact that she spends 65 -70 hours out of the home with commuting and work. That is a lot of time out of the home. We share duties. She doesn't really cook that often. Maybe one night a week. We are both very clean people. She picks up after herself, does dishes, laundry etc. I would say most things are 50 - 50 aside from cooking which I do most of. I think she is a little intimidated in the kitchen as I own it when it comes to cooking.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 04:45 PM
2

Slow and steady wins the race. STFU, Fitness and Reading are your best friends right now. The Holy Trinity if you will. Read and re-read until the concepts come naturally. Keep it simple. There are no scripts or rules to remember. 90% of the required reading and sidebar are just ways to unlearn societal conditioning and accept your masculinity without shame. It's really not that complicated. Post to OYS for accountability.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 04:38 PM
2

I'm with you man. Agreed on all points. Truth be told I am worth her respect and worth keeping around. She is trying desperately to hold on. Unfortunately, she just can't help herself. It's part of her MO. I have no illusion that what I said will do anything to change her. It was more for me. I was calm and didn't get emotional. I just laid out what is happening IMO and gave her an a clear idea of my boundaries and expectations (a very low standard by my estimation). I ended my report with, In a…
/r/askMRP07/09/16 04:25 PM
2

It's a gamble, no doubt about it. As I was having this conversation my little RP voice was saying, "STFU!" Honest question, How do you respond to consistent and blatant disrespect with actions? Initially, I walked away and didn't let it phase me. Eventually, I have to share space with this person. Not saying anything about it, is essentially saying the behavior is acceptable. Which it is not.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 03:47 PM
1

Thank you sincerely for taking the time.
/r/askMRP06/09/16 08:05 PM
1

Got it. I'm acting like a big pussy cus my lil' buddy is moving away. I own it.
/r/askMRP06/09/16 07:35 PM
2

I know what you mean by covert contract. I guess I hoped that when I stopped blaming her for the whole problem and trying to focus on improving the one thing I have control over, myself. Things would improve. They have improved in that I am not angry anymore. Is this life acceptable to me? That's the million dollar question. I wanted to follow my MAP and give things room to improve. It's a big step to walk away. I want to make sure I have done everything in my power to be a better man and fix th…
/r/askMRP06/09/16 07:31 PM
1

I'll own that shit. Again, I am fallible. Denying it is untruth.
/r/askMRP06/09/16 07:26 PM
1

I am acting quiet and may be perceived as butt-hurt. It's not about her. She always defends whatever outside adversary I am dealing with. Again, not shocking or upsetting, expected. Heard this song a thousand times. She is free to say and act however she feels. If it ticks my meter too much I disengage or engage like i did with the MINT BS a month ago. Last night I didn't have any gas in my tank after breaking my body with exercise and 10 hour work days.
/r/askMRP06/09/16 07:11 PM
2

This is what is happening in crystalized form. Unfortunately, I am tired of hearing her song. I am constantly trying to find value and attraction within our relationship and she constantly reminds me that, it's a motherfucker of a job to be with her. Like gloves up all time, drop one and she'll throw her best. I have been in a state of fuck this for two years and despite my modest gains (I am not complete and never will be), the situation remains. Am I in her frame? I don't think so. I am not ea…
/r/askMRP06/09/16 07:07 PM
1

I understand the theory of not showing vulnerability and the repercussions. Contrary to that, within the context of NMMNG. I believe it's important to not repress emotions. I never went crying to my wife. However, to just mask everything and walk around with some fake smile on my face would be unbelievable.
/r/askMRP06/09/16 06:58 PM
4

You are right. This shit rocked me a bit. My friend is a bit of a fucker for keeping it secret. Unfortunately, what we do requires proximity of space. I do have a scarcity mindset in relation to this situation as I'm still in shock. It won't last. I will overcome. I will admit I am being a big fat pussy about it and I don't really give a fuck. I'll come around in time. In the meantime, going to meditate on this little pearl Lastly, your home is not your refuge or Zen Happy Place. Your home is fo…
/r/askMRP06/09/16 06:50 PM
1

It probably galls her when you react more to a friend leaving than her antics so she ramps hers up until she gets >any reaction< from you. She's a little kid punching you in the leg until you do something to stop her. This is it. She is not used to me being so cool with or without her. She is not used to my OI of the last 5 month's and now to see me show some emotion she is probably taking it like, "He cares about this friend more than he cares about me". Probably not far off the mark as this be…
/r/askMRP06/09/16 06:42 PM
1

You are correct. She cannot stand anyone's negative emotions other than her own. She was certainly trying to "un-upset" me with her DEERing of my friend's decision. I am upset and going through my stages of grief are my responsibility. It is a process and it takes time. I am not repressing anything, just accepting what is happening and trying to move through it. Truth told my relationship with this friend represents the first time in 7 years of moving to this town where I felt okay. I had a real…
/r/askMRP06/09/16 06:34 PM
2

Not bad advice. However, I am currently a little deflated. Managing to keep it tight at work and not show my hand. At home I just want to relax and mend. I wasn't even angry when she said that to me. It was like watching a movie I had seen 100 times before. Like, wait for it.... wait for it... Yep, there it is. Knew I had a "fuck you" waiting for me at home tonight. Ahh, home sweet home.
/r/askMRP06/09/16 06:13 PM
1

I had severe migraine headaches that would come on and then not go away. Sensitivity to light, severe nausea, blurred vision, unending pain. At one point it came on and lasted three months, go to bed with it, wake with it. I was admitted to the neurology wing of a well respected teaching hospital. The doctors were stumped and eventually prescribed pills that would take away the pain for a couple hours. Wasn't sure I would survive this situation. A friend's mom suggested I go see her naturopath /…
/r/askMRP01/09/16 04:20 PM
1

Might need to steal your OYS format. I've been having a hard time with personal accountability. This is a solid way to gain some perspective. Nice work.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 06:03 PM
1

Physical After dialing things back for a couple weeks, my minor injuries are healed and I'm back at it full throttle. In the gym every other day with SL 5x5 and a bunch of other stuff I've added on that makes for a good two hour ass kicker. I have been hiking miles and elevation every day with occasional yoga classes on recovery days. Yoga is an awesome compliment to regular lifting. Basically meditation with stretching and sweating. Seeing a personal trainer every other week for a few sessions …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 05:38 PM
1

I still cant seem to get get bigger arms no matter how hard I try. Maybe its just my mind playing tricks on me I was having a similar problem following a strict SL 5x5 program so I added in a full tricep press down workout followed by curls. For the tricep press downs I start with the rope, then straight bar, then angle grip bar all with 5x5 max weight, then I do curls with max weight to failure. Like squats, I do this every workout and my arms are finally getting big.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 03:09 PM
1

Start with the Stronglifts 5x5 program. I have a similar build and situation to you. This program starts off at very light weight and builds up slowly focusing on form above all else. Dumbbells and bodyweight exercises are a good supplement to this program. As far as sidebar, I found NMMNG and WISNIFG way more useful than MMSLP. Especially for overcoming validation seeking (NMMNG) and shit testing (WISNIFG)... Everyone around here bitches about getting through WISNIFG and eats up MMSLP. I had th…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/16 09:24 PM
1

The Owned, Not Owned & Sprinkled Lifting Finally reached some numbers on my weightlifting and it is bringing up all sorts of imbalances. Especially aggravated hip and sciatic pain after squats and deadlifts. I took a week of of those exercises and stuck to upper body and then hurt both arms doing something unrelated. So, I just quit the gym completely for a week. Healed everything and deloaded about 20% and now I'm back at it every other day with hiking and running miles on rest days. The good n…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/16 04:03 PM
5

THE NERVOUS SYSTEM AND RESILIENCE! For a biological explanation... One useful thing I got out of marriage counseling was the Resiliency Zone concept. With heavy button pushing or anything that brings upon an anger or emotional response, our body and minds prepare for a legitimate threat and respond with a fight or flight mentallity. If you can catch yourself in the moment of escalating anger and remind yourself that you are in no danger, you can take control of the emotion and situation by keepi…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/16 03:59 PM
1

The first step is to get honest and admit that her faults (and all the other people I have resented or feared) are a distraction from the real problem: my weakness. Which is an incredibly powerful realization, because then the solution is within my control and I can change it. Yes! High value post and this reply about sums it up for me. The victim mentality is an extremely dangerous viewpoint as it completely frees the person from all responsibility. The only result is a downward spiral into fur…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/16 05:11 PM
1

Sent you a PM
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/16 05:06 PM
1

Good Post. Similar to the ideas on mutually beneficial relationships laid out in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/16 04:21 PM
1

Word to the wise... Get the Netflix, TV, Ipad and Laptop out of the bedroom. The bed is for sleeping and fucking. Consider the bedroom a sacred place. Make it a rule, TV, computer, etc. is not allowed in the bedroom. It's a bad sleeping habit and leads to shitty sleep and shittier sex as you can attest. I made this change about six months ago and it has done wonders for sleep and sex.
/r/askMRP22/07/16 08:58 PM
2

Wow, that OYS is dense like lead. As far as smoking / nicotine goes, I can personally recommend Allen Carr's Easy Way. That book changed my life. I was a pack a day smoker for a very very long time. Read the book once and went to their seminar once, been off that shit for 7 years. I never have cravings and can hang with smokers socially no problem. I have friends who are still smoking and I really feel sorry for them. To someone who doesn't smoke, you smell worse than shit and look grey and sick…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/16 08:45 PM
2

Lately, I've put some thought into female sexual strategy as I look at my wife's and other women's actions more objectively. It seems that most women have an edge in that, what would be the equivalent of female red pill, I.E. hypergamy and holding the keys to the sexual castle are the social and biological norm. Red pill theory as the metaphor suggests is outside of social norm and is really a masculine re-education of biological norm. An undoing of modern social conditioning.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/16 05:30 PM
4

I have been into climbing mountains and trail running for years. I would consider myself fit and strong from those activities. I have been on the Stronglifts 5x5 program and eating clean for about 2 months now and my body has completely changed. I am stronger than I have ever been. Lately, I catch my wife staring at my body and get a lot of you look great comments. There is no substitute for lifting. As a man there is no better exercise. Put lifting first and limit all other physical hobbies to …
/r/askMRP18/07/16 05:11 PM
1

Porn and Fapping Get away from it and reframe your association to it. What motivation do you have to try and fuck your wife if you use porn on the daily? Non-stereotypical Dude Hobbies Playing instruments and creative writing are manly as fuck. Ever read Earnest Hemingway? Listen to the Rolling Stones? Double down on your hobbies and connect with other DUDES that are into what you are into. DUDES connect over things they do together. Go find some.
/r/askMRP18/07/16 04:54 PM
1

Thank you. Agreed.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/16 11:10 PM
1

Now comes the warning, don’t get ahead of yourself. If there is a shitty vehicle whose asking price is $1 Million, people will laugh and no one will buy. To raise your price you must actually be of value, and to become a man of value, there are thousands of words already written, that is not the intent of this post. Become a man of value, then set your price and enforce it. This is KEY
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 03:52 PM
1

Agreed. I will try that next time.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 03:32 PM
2

This seems to be the consensus around here on the best way to have handled this situation. I will try to just chill next time and wait for a better time to talk.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 03:32 PM
1

Super interesting. I read this new-agey book Sacred Contracts last year that went in depth into discovering and working with inner archetypes and their shadows. I will check out the material you suggested. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 03:22 PM
1

You are inspiring me to get after my NMMNG exercises. Intrigued by the archetypal references you make regarding the Judge and Warrior. Apologies if you have written about this in detail somewhere else. Where did you read about that? I'm very interested in Jungian psychology, especially if it was written about in a RP context.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 06:37 PM
1

I could nuke everything beyond repair if I didn't curb my obsession with my newfound balls. So shiny and new... Yep. This is fairly good description of where I am at. I know for a fact I am going to have to find balance or this shit will get out of hand. I'm learning. Albeit slowly.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 06:22 PM
1

Yes and Yes. Still here with my boots on. Be back for more with a follow up on this later.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 09:45 PM
2

This sounds like a completely rational way of handling it. I have tried this calm approach later on and was berated for being "all fucking zen" about everything. I think the key to this approach for me is to not come off butthurt in any way if leaving / ghosting her and give it plenty of time to breathe and settle down before talking again. "Hey, I can see you're upset here so I'm going to give you some space." "When you're calm, I'm ready" This sounds so good. I would love to communicate like t…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 08:52 PM
1

I wasn't expecting to but, I did get a rush when this all went down. One, I was excited as fuck that I wasn't upset or angry. The fact that I hoped it would escalate, is just me being honest about how it felt in that moment. This shit is not easy. It would be easier to just nuke it and move on. I have no doubt I would be okay if that were the outcome. That said, I am happy in my marriage outside of the serious issues with disrespect. As others have stated here I have implemented a speedy approac…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 08:43 PM
2

Can only go up from here. That's encouraging.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 08:35 PM
2

This is helpful. I just went and ran 4 miles in the hills and had this very conversation with myself. I think because I engaged to such a degree and she backed down I will not breach the subject again. She will likely bring it up to apologize later tonight at which I will thank her and let it lay. I am also prepared for a divorce on respect issues alone. Out side of that problem she's a peach and I'm happy. I completely understand that I let things get like this and with implementing MRP, they a…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 08:33 PM
1

I totally agree. It was my fault and it's on me to be better and fix it. Good news is, it's working and things are getting better. Truth is, I totally respect the state of our marriage and I am getting to the point where I welcome shit tests and contention as an opportunity for me to grow. But, I calmly and clearly stated last time this shit went down that I will not tolerate the overt disrespect. I really feel like I have no choice but to engage. Wanting out and willing to go out are two totall…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 06:33 PM
1

Honest question. How would handle crossing a boundary in the situation I described?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 06:24 PM
1

I'm going to try again.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 06:22 PM
2

Respectfully disagree. However, I do appreciate your input and will think on the nice guy thing a bit.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 06:10 PM
3

The over the top disrespect, screaming, name calling, slamming doors, breaking shit behavior is a well established no go boundary from the last time this happened. I had no choice but to engage fully. On the inside I wasn't that bothered by it. I was pretty calm I really did have to keep myself from laughing at one point. I was also ready to nuke it if she went to far and refused to back down. When I see her later I will act like it never happened. I am hoping that this behavior will cease at so…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 06:08 PM
1

I think I understand what you are saying. Shit is changing and a very drunk captain is awake and back at it for a couple of months. A little late in the game, so naturally there is some push back. It's expected, even encouraged. A full on mutiny won't benefit anyone on the boat, so we can't tolerate that. If she bucks too hard, she's going to have to find a new boat and a new captain. Extreme but, is what it is.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 06:01 PM
2

You declared your boundary, but what are your plans to defend it in a meaningful, productive way when she steps over? Does full on engagement mean you're going to just give her the drama she craves, or give her more toothless statements like "Stop doing that!" and stomping your feet? I.e. what was you plan if that statement had been followed up by another door slam while she called you an asshole over and over again? To be honest, I am constantly weighing wether or not I want the relationship to…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 05:54 PM
1

Shit I Own Lifting, Deloaded and I'm progressing with adding strength and correcting form before going back to weekly SL5x5 weight increases. Aches and pains are subsiding. I am stronger than I have ever been. Lifting is the single best thing I do for myself. Hiking and body weight exercises on off days. Diet, Maintaining exactly 170 LBS. with skinny fat midsection falling away and muscles getting bigger. Sex, Initiating a lot and rarely if ever getting a hard no. BJ's happening every time now, …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 05:34 PM
1

Good advice. Just been going to a default nuke when the needling doesn't stop. Didn't think of it as passive aggressive but, I can see how it would be perceived that way. I still have a lot of room to grow in the shit testing department. Good news is, I will have a lot of opportunities to stretch those muscles.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 09:43 PM
1

This. Take the MRP program SLOW . Start lifting STRONGLIFTS 5x5 and exercising daily. Eat clean and dig into /r/fitness. This will do wonders for your energy and hormones. Read course prereqs and MRP SIDEBAR and start posting to OYS for accountability. Don't worry about your wife, she'll be fine. H: "Let me play it back. You said I should get what you say the first time. I agreed. You said you didn't need me to do things differently, I said you need something, you disagreed, I questioned that. W…
/r/askMRP06/07/16 03:38 PM
1

Full disclosure, I am in no shape to be dolling out advice to anyone. Take it for what it's worth, I.E. FREE. I have found that any new endeavor will always have a backlash. Any new spiritual truth, action, habit, paradigm, whatever you want to call it... ...will always test you to see if you are serious about the new change and ready for the responsibility. Think of it as a self induced, subconscious induced, universe induced shit test. Are you ready? Are you worthy of this new paradigm? It's a…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 07:17 PM
1

Owning Lifting, Deloaded and watched a ton of videos on form again. Still some persistent soreness in shoulder and sciatica from work and exercise. May lay off the bench for a couple days. Otherwise progressing with SL 5x5 every other day, doing hiking, abs on recovery days. Even made it to the gym while out of town for the weekend. Yoga, stretching and meditation every morning Reading, Finished WISNIFG. Finished 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Almost finished MMSLP. Finishing a book a week…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 06:30 PM
1

Do you think she would feel wrong being a housewife? Would you want to her to be one? Not that that means she wouldn't have her own hobbies or a job of her interest. But that's markedly different than stressing yourself out to achieve your dreams. I am open to her doing what she wants to do. I will be supportive either way. I will say that if she did want to be a housewife and take on a more traditional feminine role, I feel that my stance on not having children would be more flexible. Did she h…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:07 PM
2

Good advice. Linked accounts to MINT when I did the budget. I'm logging in about every two days to label expenses. Agreed on not knowing what you want. I think I have a tendency to coast if I'm not actively pursuing goals. I also have a tendency towards THE JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF NONE approach. I think if I can clarify and focus I will be overcoming a major personal deficit.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 05:51 PM
1

I think she works so much to avoid having to face larger life questions / fears. WHAT DO I WANT? I can relate and struggle with that as well. She has some feminist values. May stem from a need to be secure and independent (raised by a single mother, no dad). Also, stems from historic inconsistency of my career (huge amounts of income and then months without). I have moved into a more consistent source of income for the last two years, so this is largely alleviated now. Overall I think her career…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 09:01 PM
1

She has an unhealthy work ethic (workaholic). It's her demon and she is working on it. It's a sensitive subject for her. She has been this way since I met her. Again, this is her thing. Her lesson to learn. Her problem to fix. Much in the same way correcting Beta / Nice Guy tendencies is my problem to fix, not hers. I can be available to discuss and offer support when solicited but, offering unsolicited opinions on dealing with a person's demon always brings about knee jerk resistance. Just how …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 08:26 PM
1

Agreed that the job adds to her stress and she has a tendency to come home and kick the dog (me). However, I believe firmly that her work and career are her realm. Me interfering is akin to offering a junkie unsolicited help. It won't help and will in all likelihood backfire in some way. That is her problem to sort out. It's my problem to lead and set boundaries.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 07:17 PM
2

Interesting point. Sorry bout that is certainly my default response. I'll keep it in mind.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 07:14 PM
16

Wow, That's a nuke over slicing veg. Not saying it wasn't warranted but, I feel like it would come off butthurt if I made that move. Seems like a perfect opportunity for big A&A.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 07:07 PM
2

Yes. This is my problem as well and I assume you are quoting BPP. I am at fault for the majority of my relationship problems. Due to unawareness, checking out, BP beta behaviors, Nice Guy tendencies, etc. etc. As I correct these, the situation improves greatly but, the main problem persists and that is the bitchiness and disrespect. I have seen this play out with her family members and close work associates as well. So, I know a certain amount of this behavior will be unavoidable. I am waiting t…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 06:49 PM
1

Shit I Own: 6' 1", 170, 15% BF. Going to continue cut until I hit 10% goal and then recalculate for for lean gains bulk. It's lofty but, I want 180 at 10%. Since starting fitness and diet I have lost 5 pounds. Lost an inch off my waist. Gained an inch on my arms and legs. Biggest visible difference is my shoulders and chest are broad. Bad kyphotic, turkey neck posture is much improved. Abdominals are starting to become visible. Energy and mood are awesome. Morning aches and pains are to a minimu…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 06:18 PM
1

This is correct. More I thought about it, this was a level 10 COMFORT TEST. Considering the state of our relationship it makes perfect sense. Looking at it from that perspective, I could have done a better job at some BETA BALANCE. It is like walking a mine field when her emotions are that intense. First skill I have to learn is just make it through in one piece without getting tangled up in it. As I get better at navigating ST and CT I can learn how to lead to a better place, a lot of room for …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/16 03:14 PM
3

This is correct. Prior to MRP, I was naturally "sprinkle a lil alpha on it" (new acronym, SALAOI?) However, I was not in charge and I am still not in charge. Mentioning "Frame is changing" seemed to ruffle some feathers around here. That is what is happening and it's a big adjustment. A little push back seems unavoidable. However, these outbursts are nothing new... We are 10 years deep into this and the only new thing is I have successfully managed to not get drawn into the conflict. That is a m…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/16 03:06 PM
1

Thank you. That is a crystal clear view on what is happening and what is at stake. We have both agreed to give this situation some time and see what happens. Try to just focus on being a good couple. I am doing my version of that and so far it's beneficial for both parties. In the end, I may have to make the decision for her to avoid a lifetime of resentment. She is very attractive and still has a little time to have children if that is her focus. In the meantime, I try to make the relationship …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/16 07:40 PM
1

The long version... She was on the pill for most of our relationship. We tried having a child for awhile (I agreed to at the time). "Trying" and lack of pregnancy caused a fuck ton of problems. I grew more and more resistant to the idea of having children until I decided for a fact that I absolutely do not want to do it. Broke this news during our last therapy session. Went over suprisingly well at the time. Huge weight off of me to get that off my chest. Bought condoms. A vasectomy would seal t…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/16 07:18 PM
1

Bought condoms for the first time in 10 years last week. Vasectomy is a good idea though.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/16 07:09 PM
1

There is no butthurt or manchild about it. Nor did I inform her about anyone's frame. Acta non Verba. I am handling shit left and right. I don't report any of it to her, I just do. Personally, I have shit still to own and it's handled, getting handled or will be handled soon. At the crux of our problem is me not wanting to have kids and an huge insecurity on her part that we won't make it. She said she is scared of that. I didn't say this out loud but, I agree with the fact there is a good fucki…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/16 06:59 PM
14

Correction, I married crazy. Currently removing my head from my ass. The view is getting better.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/16 06:50 PM
2

I initiated a couple times. She denied and informed and reminded me again about shark week. Believe me when I say I am conscious of the three week deficit. Initiated last night when we were having a good time and she joked that it's out of order currently. I responded by saying, For the record, my dick is never out of order... Left it at that. Again, I understand how the ST could be foreplay. Shit like today with all the sobbing. No thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/16 06:48 PM
2

Point taken. Old habits die hard. This whole thing did last about two hours. There was a ton of fencing with jokes and sincere sorry you feel that ways. Pissed her off all the more.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/16 06:40 PM
3

In her words, she feels like I am far away, (frame is changing). She isn't sure of my feelings, (frame is changing). The big elephant in the room is the child thing. That probably accounts for a large part of her frustration as does a 75 hour a week high stress job, (self inflicted). IMO if it wasn't this, it would be something else. She has a bit of a two sided personality. Swings from sweetheart to nasty. Seen this manifest with her mom and sister she is close with as well. MRP has spotlighted…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/16 06:37 PM
1

M/37 H/34 Lifting and diet are are track. Eating keto with lots of fresh veg and lean meat. Sugar intake down to quinoa occasion brown rice, sweet potato, occasional fruit and spirits. Finally hitting some proper weight with 5x5. I might higher a trainer for one or two sessions to check my form as I'm green. Been nursing an epic case of sciatica for 5 years so I want to make sure I don't aggravate that to the point where I can't lift. I have lower back pain under control with yoga, stretching an…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/16 03:08 PM
3

Inaugural Victim Puke Let's try this again: Stumbled onto TRP back in January while scouring the internet for help with my marriage. It did not land at all, the concept was too foreign for my BP mind to handle. Stumbled onto MRP again in April, something clicked and I decided to dig in. Lurking, reading posts, reading the pre-reqs, slowly putting it into practice for last two months. I'm in an LTR of 10 years, married 5. The first year was bliss and started down a bad path after moving in togeth…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 07:15 PM
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