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pineappleshampoo Archive

View 0 posts and 163 comments by pineappleshampoo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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20

I’ve never heard of either of these people, but just looked them up. I can’t believe she had a kid with a man who already has three by three previous women, and can’t get past the fact her son’s father has six by six women! That’s some real low value stuff right there. Really pleased she figured things out and found someone decent and that they’re happy. Maybe I’ll be trashed for saying this, but I don’t personally believe it’s high value to have a child in such an unstable situation. People can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:51 AM
37

But that doesn’t change the fact that this guy in the OP wasn’t up against those challenges (or managed to overcome them) and it seems they had a nice time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 04:54 PM
2

Oh I noticed that a while back and thought it was hilarious so just left it 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 04:18 AM
13

I know so many examples in couples where the man ‘cooks’ sometimes and is absolutely applauded for it. However, their idea of cooking is actually spending three or four hours on a weekend making some elaborate gourmet dish with market sourced ingredients, it’s basically an enjoyable hobby, but it is also a clever way to get out of cleaning or spending time with the kids cos ‘I’m cooking’. Meanwhile, the wives are the ones who actually know how to put together adorable, realistic, healthy meals f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:12 PM
256

Once a guy struck up a conversation on fb messenger about some shared niche music tastes, I went along with it and had a pleasant brief chat. The next time he messaged he told me his gf had expressed suicidal feelings and he didn’t know who else to turn to. We’d spoken once. About music. Lol I sent a link to our country’s suicide helpline and blocked that knobhead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:08 PM
730

It’s actually really good and unusual that the doctor even bothered to mention the impact on sexual function to a female patient. All too often doctors will mention to men they may suffer from ED, but not bother with women, because women’s sexual pleasure isn’t seen as a priority in the way male pleasure is. It should be the baseline it’s discussed with all patients, but it isn’t, so props to this doctor, even if the bar is on the floor here haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:19 PM
10

I got that bit with all the +%}=#* stuff but I still really don’t understand the rest 😂 Grimes was a successful musician in her own right first, and the lady linked isn’t even the mother of his kids?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 01:24 PM
23

I’ve read your comment like four times and I still don’t fully understand what you’re saying lol. New Canadian mother of five? The woman you linked is his second (and third) wife, to whom he is divorced. What was your point re Grimes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 11:27 AM
1

Same here haha. We play to our strengths, he’s not really into food or cooking so I tend to be in charge of deciding what to feed our kid, batch cooking, looking into what nutrients he needs and planning his meals (husband can and will feed him!), but otherwise we’re extremely equal. In some respects he’s the better parent, or at least was at the start. We found that I didn’t really have the crazy intense maternal instincts where I knew what our baby needed at all, whereas my husband was a lot m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 07:21 AM
32

People often think ECT is some barbaric medieval torture method but don’t realise it’s an effective evidence based treatment, that’s still carried out today. One of my workplaces has an ECT clinic there and I’ve been able to go take a look around at the treatment room. Interesting stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 02:09 AM
7

Totally. The number of times I’ve had ‘aww aren’t you lucky!’ because my husband ‘helps me’ so much. Or someone asks if he’s babysitting cos I’m out without the baby. NO 🙅🏻‍♀️ stop this talk! Nobody is lucky that my son’s biological parent cares for him fantastically. I do too and nobody ever tells my husband he’s lucky I’m so good with the baby or that mum must be babysitting. This language is so toxic! I get it though in a way, among my mum friends there are some mega crap dads involved. Men w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 02:06 AM
42

I don’t think that’s unfair if it’s been negotiated and works for both of you! I think maybe I’m an anomaly here, but I’ll say this anyway: personally, I feel like my husband did contribute and do a lot towards the pregnancy, birth, and nursing. Pregnancy-wise he really took a lot of work from me so I could rest and focus on growing our baby. The birth truly felt like a joint effort (it took four days and he was by my side advocating for me, supporting me, guiding me and doing everything he coul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:12 PM
78

I agree 100%. I also expected to be treated like a queen during pregnancy. I actually loved being pregnant and didn’t have too difficult a time of it, but nonetheless my body was building our child cell by cell and it was EXHAUSTING in every way imaginable. I absolutely expected him to do the majority of housework, to drive me around, take himself to the shops at 10pm for a specific craving, and so forth. I was working around the clock creating a life haha. And completely believe after birth the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 01:40 PM
423

The fact that you even felt the need to state the call was with dad ‘because mum was resting’ is such a major tell. If the call was with mum you wouldn’t have felt the need to say ‘because dad was busy’. It’s just presumed child related stuff will be dealt with by the kid’s mother and not father, to the extent that if a father is the one dealing with it it feels right to add an explanation for why it wasn’t mum. Drives me bonkers. My husband and I are 50/50 parents in every single way, I can’t a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 11:44 AM
5

Personally I find it a pink flag if anyone, male or female, only has friends of one gender. When men don’t have any female friends it suggests an inability to relate to women in any sense other than romantic/sexual When men don’t have any male friends it makes me think there’s something about him that really puts other guys off, or that he surrounds himself with orbiters (see ‘I’m friends with all of my exes’) Same for women. When a woman has zero male friends I find that quite odd, like your en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 11:09 AM
2

Agree 100% with everything you say! It’s good to have a finite limit for women who aren’t good at reading signals that he’s just not into her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 09:51 AM
29

I actually think it’s usually much less than 2-3 months. In my experience is a guy finds a woman and is super into her, he won’t want 2-3 months to go by where another guy could still be wooing her. He won’t want to risk losing her at any cost. It’s foolish to jump into exclusivity too soon so I agree a short period of time is good before committing to just seeing that one person, but if a guy I was seeing hadn’t raised the ‘are we seeing other people?’ question within a month I’d be assuming he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 08:27 AM
82

THIS It should have read ‘stayed after learning she was married to a rapist’ ‘Rape cases’ is so disconnected. She stayed after she found out he raped multiple women. Raped. Not stayed ‘after he had a legal issue in court called a rape case’.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:11 PM
7

God that is horrific. Imagine being willing to humiliate and degrade yourself in front of guests at your own damn wedding. Her self esteem is in the core of the earth, I actually feel so sorry for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:56 AM
30

This is a thing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 02:53 PM
158

Absolutely. The only time I legit couldn’t text during the entire workday was working in a jail where you left your phone in the car. Every other job, no matter how busy you are, you get a break to pee, and can send a quick text while you’re in the bathroom if you want to. Would a guy be slack texting if they managed to get their celebrity crush’s number? No. They’d text. Never settle for that nonsense. If a guy is into you, he will text.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 05:49 PM
3

Absolutely! Good point. And I’m sorry you went through all do that, man. That sounds terrifying. I read earlier that child birth is the leading cause of death for 15-19yr old women worldwide. If we hadn’t had medical assistance during our labour my son and I would have both died. He simply couldn’t come out on his own, he couldn’t fit. It took ventouse and episiotomy, and still it took so long he was in distress. The physical damage from having his head stuck in the canal for so long has left me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 08:24 AM
3

Ah I see. I get that. I’d never live directly with a landlord, no siree. Much prefer the distance as you say of renting through an agency. Makes life much easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:54 PM
1

What difference does it make living in an apartment building compared to someone’s spare room though? Who owns the apartment building? Someone renting it out to pay for the mortgage?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:14 PM
33

So strange. I can’t fathom how that is anything to brag about. I could sit here and boast about how my husband treated me well during pregnancy but I’m not gonna cos... literally the minimum I expected and anticipated while carrying our shared child was to be treated like a queen? Every woman should expect that? People like to say ‘it’s a natural normal thing not a disability duh women should quit whining and carry on’ but those people either have never been pregnant or have had really easy time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:05 PM
55

Tinder at the time. Met them all on there. I know loads of women say they had bad experiences with that app but it was fantastic for me the two times I used it (2016 and 2012). Met some awesome guys, really high quality men. Ended up with a couple friends from it too who I didn’t click romantically with. I have quite a few friends married with babies to great guys they met on tinder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 10:13 AM
168

I’ve never had more men falling over themselves to date and commit to me as when I was super nonchalant, dating multiple guys at once, super busy with work and friends and expressed I wasn’t looking for commitment or anything serious. Men couldn’t do enough to try pin me down for a date. I’m nothing special. Just drives them crazy when you’re a challenge, even moreso when you genuinely aren’t easily obtainable and they have to work to even see you for lunch. When I met my husband I didn’t want t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 09:25 AM
5

Yep. It really disturbs me that there are people who think having a kid in an awful situation is still their right. It absolutely is a privilege. Idk, I see people all the time have kids in shitty circumstances without enough resources or time or emotional maturity and you’re right, it can mess people up for a long time. It’s selfish to have a kid just cos you want one without being able to provide for them. The responsibility REALLY smacks you in the face when you take that tiny jelly bean pers…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 04:00 PM
20

Yeah... in my view you need to earn your way to a position where it’s appropriate to have a child. It’s not a default thing anyone can do well. It takes time to get yourself into a place with enough stability and security in your finances, relationship, career and housing, before you can truly offer a baby the kind of upbringing they deserve. I just can’t with men or women unable to support even themselves adequately bringing a child into the mix. Unfortunately I’ve realised a real trend in my c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:39 AM
34

This is so so true. I’ve said it many times before: the most important gift you can possibly give to your future kids is choose a great father. Never to anyone in particular, but I’ve still been accused of shaming women who had kids with awful men. I’m not, I respect the women who do stick around and raise their kids once abandoned by a crap partner and dad! And I realise there are fringe cases where you have a kid with a man who has seemed for years that he’d make an amazing father, only for hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:37 AM
7

I can’t stand the judgment towards cultures where there isn’t inter generational living (often dressed up as looking down on people who ‘refuse to care for their elders’). Those cultures are essentially built on the unpaid backbreaking endless labour of women with very little choice, who are unable to work outside the home and spend their days taking physical and emotional care of older relatives (usually not their own!) and their young children. It’s no life at all. Give me a culture where peop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:59 PM
2

You can do this! I love your attitude towards having kids: you know you want it and you plan to do it one way or another. I know so many women who really want children but are so passive about it and don’t do anything to make it happen/actively reduce their own chances of it happening. It’s so sad. I was in your shoes in 2016 like ‘I’m gonna have a baby one way or another within the next 2-4yr’. Had my first in 2019. It’s such a major part of life if it’s something you want, you can’t afford to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:15 PM
6

Yeah he came across as super intimidated and scared of them, shifty eye contact and body language. Like he subconsciously acknowledged he shouldn’t really have even been able to look in their direction, but he got the courage up to walk over there anyway. And then made a massive knob of himself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:15 PM
13

Oh I LOVED the way he said ‘6.5, I’m being generous’ and she so casually said ‘that’s okay, a ten’ lol. She totally swept his lame attempt at negging her away like she literally couldn’t have been less interested in his opinion of her. She handled it like a total queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:10 PM
9

Then just say with a smile ‘yeah, I do!’ and let it hang in the air. Put the awkwardness on her to either outright be nasty back or to come up with a way to move the conversation along or just go and leave you alone. Seriously, if a girl said that to me I’d be like... yeah, I’m happy with myself, feels great!’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:08 PM
2

That’s so sad. Does she have children with him? If not then that’s truly dumb on her part at forty to be still waiting around as her fertility goes down the drain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 07:56 AM
5

That’s not actually accurate my friend! There are infections that cause that smell to, such as bacterial vaginosis. Anyone can develop that, including virgins.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:16 AM
10

That comment was a wild ride. I was wondering whether you’d ended up trapped with his kid. I’m so sorry you went through all that, and SO pleaded you were able to access an abortion! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:15 AM
10

When a guy is into you he won’t hang around!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:53 AM
32

Yeah this stuff must reallly hit hard when you have had a shit mother too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 08:45 AM
15

Aww this hit hard! Mine died when I was in my very early twenties so she never got to see me make a success of my life, get a career, get married, have a baby. I’m sad I never got to take her out for lunch and pay for it, or buy her nice gifts, ask her more about her childhood and life before me or really thank her for everything. I was so lucky to have her ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 08:45 AM
12

I am so, so sorry you went through that. That broke my heart to read. Especially that your mother failed to protect you :( babies are all so pure and innocent, they deserve the world and so much care and positive attention and love and security. I’m not sure where you’re at today with regards to your past but I am really truly sorry for what you’ve been through. You deserved better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:35 PM
11

It’s set to public so she could comment even without being friends, I agree she shoulda blocked him though. Maybe a friend gave her the heads up the crap he was spouting and she thought she’d let rip lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:07 PM
128

I have an infant son and I will NEVER hit or use force against him. Ever. I will not teach him that violence of any kind is an appropriate response to someone’s behaviour. I read in my baby book (UK based) that by the age of one years old, 75% of parents admit to have hit or used physical force as discipline against their infant. That absolutely horrified me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:27 AM
8

That’s cool. I like that you listened and thought it over instead of getting defensive. Sign of emotional maturity :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:29 PM
47

Doesn’t it bother you that your friends think your boyfriend is controlling or you’re a doormat? Idk if this is just me but I love and am proud of my husband’s character, I wouldn’t feel comfortable lying to portray him as so low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:04 PM
8

Yes, in my experience. I’ve got some fantastically close platonic friendships with guys just as I do with women. I have zero qualms with my husband going out for food with an old female friend to catch up. We trust one another. Doesn’t matter what I do or feel though! What matters is your rules in your relationship and whether you’re compatible with your partner. If you’re both cool with this boundary then that’s great and doesn’t really matter what others do in their relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:25 PM
3

Don’t do what? Use a nannycam? Or allow a male of any sort to babysit my child?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:10 PM
39

I have worked hard to earn a decent income (not anything crazy high by any means but enough to live comfortably with savings) and I’ve dated men with no money at all (and debt!) and married a guy who earns well. Lemme tell you, a relationship with someone who’s broke is shit. You can’t do anything. You can’t go on holiday. You’ll never have the security of your own property. You can’t afford kids, or if you have them anyway you subject them to a crap upbringing they don’t deserve. You either bus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:27 PM
52

If you want to use a male sitter I highly recommend a nanny cam. I have happily left my child with a male friend as a sitter, but wouldn’t leave him with someone I wasn’t already close to for many years of either sex, and I still use a nanny cam. I believe you can’t be too careful with sitters of either gender or ones you know as family or only know as childcare professionals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:44 PM
18

That’s so fucked up! I have a son and if he fucked up by commenting on someone’s appearance rudely or believing his opinions on a woman’s body were suitable for airing it’d be a teaching moment for sure, I can’t imagine letting that go or PLACATING him by saying ‘oh don’t worry honey I’ll cover up my offensive belly’ 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:53 PM
50

Yes! I’m not sure why this is but it’s something we’ve noticed too. Husband is a doctor who got rejected for his first attempt to get into uni. Maybe it’s cos the ones who went on their second attempt were the super determined and stubborn ones who really really wanted it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:24 AM
9

That guy is trash but... really? Where do you live/what do you do that 300k isn’t that much money? I’m curious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 06:54 AM
8

Ah I see! Thanks for the info. What a horrible situation that this baby girl has this man for a father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 01:10 PM
39

I don’t think it is. ‘He was over hanging with my baby and I’, implying they live separately, and I feel like she’d say ‘our baby’ if she was. Horrific either way though. But at least she can eject him from her life completely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:27 AM
20

Those people where every single conversation involves a misunderstanding and bad feelings are giant walking red flags. If you don’t have that issue with others in your life, it’s them. Not you. The second or max third time that happened I’d have been done. Healthy people who can communicate don’t cause that much conversational drama! Gotta admit though I laughed at your ‘your comment is trash’ ‘you’re trash’ exchange, childish as it may have been 🤣 the perfect final word before blocking him imo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:33 AM
56

God that’s awful. Don’t fucking have kids or get married if you resent them trying to talk to and interact with you. I know it’s supposed to be funny (god I hope so), but I feel like guys like this truly don’t deserve the blessing and privilege of having a woman bear their children and a beautiful family to raise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 05:33 PM
93

That’s lovely :) Not gonna lie though, part of me wonders when an older man does a selfless favour for a young woman whether he’d do the same for a young man. If so then that’s true HV behaviour. You’ll never know about this specific guy. Really kind of him though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 11:28 AM
10

It’s a helluva risk and gamble. I used to sleep with guys casually and before a formal exclusive relationship. It worked for me, no regrets. I don’t see sex as something I give that takes away from me and benefits the guy. It’s mutually enjoyable and desired, wherever things go, or I wouldn’t have done it. I decided after a painful break up that for my next relationship however, I’d wait until we were official and exclusive. Try something different. Invested emotionally, spent lots of time toget…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 06:52 AM
8

I’m kinda in awe that an eighteen year old in such an awful situation with an older abusive man had the guts to say everything you did to him and handle it with such calm self assurance. I’m so sorry all of this happened to you. But you have nothing to cringe about here. Given the age difference and power dynamic and clear mind games, the fact you didn’t lose your sense of self and just go along with everything without saying a word speaks to your strength of character!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:53 AM
5

I’m sure this is just a joke. Wants someone who isn’t fat but wants to grow fat together. Doesn’t want a woman who needs him to sort her life out but wants one who’ll make him whole. It’s funny though! “zero ambition or money” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:43 AM
13

EXACTLY this. Although some ladies have that support and still don’t shower. But at least that’s cos they don’t want to I guess. Not cos the father won’t take the baby. I promised myself when I had a baby that no matter what happened, I would shower daily. Every single day. Other than one day when I had covid bad, I’ve showered every day since having a child. Gave birth on Sunday evening, took a shower in the hospital Monday (with a lot of pain and support! But i did it!). I don’t feel human unl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:41 AM
20

I’ve always felt that the greatest most important gift you can give your future children is who you pick to be their father. Or in same sex relationships, their other parent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:38 PM
19

I’d kill to know what lipstick she’s wearing. The colour, texture, coverage... it’s stunning. I want it so bad. I don’t use tiktok though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:55 PM
43

I read it that he was basically telling her it’s Friday evening when they usually bang (implying he has a fat cock) and she would go over there, which is embarrassing because of how low effort and demeaning that message is. No humanity or romance or even civility: just ‘fat cock Friday’ and off she trotted to fuck him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:24 AM
9

Absolutely insulting! It implies she is less than these men or doesn’t have a place at the table by her own merit. Perhaps they didn’t realise she was a successful lawyer before becoming First Lady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:38 AM
398

It’s the best feeling when you have enough in the back to cover emergencies isn’t it? There was a time in my life when I couldn’t afford £7 for antibiotics for a lung infection and just got sicker for a week waiting to be paid. Recently one of our cars broke down for good and it wasn’t an issue as we could just take £8k from our account for a new car and still have a good chunk of savings left. Financial security isn’t always easy to attain but if you manage it the peace of mind it brings is abs…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 01:58 PM
8

I’m torn on this. I wouldn’t let my son by babysat by anyone I didn’t trust 100%. I’ve refused to allow certain in laws babysit him because I just don’t feel comfortable with them, screw fairness. But at the same time, I recognise that most abuse comes from friends and family members, often the people you least expect: you can truly, completely trust a person that they are safe around your child and still they end up abusing. We have a small baby and he’s being babysat by a male friend of mine i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:04 AM
14

This ^ If he’d continued to try pursue her after she told him she wasn’t available any longer he’d have been trash looking to try get her to cheat with him. He did the most respectful thing he could. Short of him keeping tabs on her from afar and pretending to coincidentally pop up again later (creepy) I don’t know what else he could have done. Reach out, let him know you’re single, and then sit back and see what happens. That’s not chasing in any sense of the word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:22 PM
144

Don’t overthink and try to analyse the motivations of people who hurt you or disrespect you like that. You’ll never know. There could be a million reasons and they all reflect on his character, not your own self worth. Just block and move on, you’re worth better and he’s blown it even if he did try come crawling back later. Decent people don’t waste the time of others like that, you dodged a bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:19 PM
135

I like to deadpan reply to this shit ‘Oh where’s baby? Is dad babysitting?’ ‘Oh, actually my son is my husband’s biological child too! It’s okay, easy mistake to make’ Or ‘No, he’s parenting. Parents can’t babysit’ with a puzzled look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:04 AM
4

My first thought was that a guy could and would easily wriggle out of the social shame/stigma by claiming his phone was hacked or his iCloud storage or whatever, that she uploaded them herself then got cold feet and blamed him, so many other simple explanations. Doesn’t even have to be entirely believable: just say it with enough conviction and stick to the story and enough will believe him and trash her for ‘ruining his reputation’, even more will come down on ‘it’s between them, not for anyone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 01:34 PM
5

Sure. Met my husband on tinder. Hot, tall, perfect gentleman, educated, great career, open to kids and marriage, funny, etc. We’ve been together several years now and having kids has been tough on our relationship but he’s an amazing father and I’m glad I married him. I know quite a few friends who met their HVM spouses on tinder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 11:13 AM
18

I think forever girlfriend refers specifically to women who would get married in a heartbeat, but who tolerate waiting year after year staying with a guy in the hopes that he’ll eventually marry her. You didn’t wish to marry for your own reasons so you wouldn’t fall into that category. And tbh, unless you know the couple well or are part of the couple you can’t really know whether someone is a forever girlfriend or whether remaining unmarried is something she’s choosing. I would only use the ter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:16 PM
10

Yeah I’m so curious why Superbad is up there. I love that film. It’s hilarious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 01:25 AM
4

This is awful. At the very least he doesn’t seem to have asked himself whether they can both even afford to maintain two separate homes while raising a child. Kids are crazy expensive and he’s talking about having two nurseries, one at each house? His question is so focused on what’s right for him re the relationship he hasn’t once questioned what’s right for the baby. Babies are INTENSE, I hope even if he’s not considering living with her he’s planning to stay over every day and night for the f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 01:13 AM
5

Yeah that’s the word I was looking for, performative. It looked a bit like he felt he needed to ‘do’ something big and visible to show he was impressed for the sake of onlookers, rather than a genuine moment of being taken aback and touched. Maybe I just can’t imagine my face transforming THAT much 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:41 AM
-7

Yes, because that’s exactly what I said. Did you even read down to my final paragraph? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:39 AM
17

I actually don’t like that stuff lol. Seen it a lot. It just comes across like a fake response for the crowd. He knows what she looks like, he knows how she looks with makeup I’m sure. Most brides look great on their wedding day, but I can’t imagine she looks like such a different and more stunning person that he would be so taken aback. It’s adorable when a guy spots his bride in the dress for the first time cos that’s a huge moment, but her face? Just seems weird to me lol. Also I don’t like t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:34 PM
9

He’s implying her fashion choice is bold or weird, hence saying she must have confidence to wear something like that. It also read as a way of knocking down her self esteem a touch cos she looks too great or seems too confidence. Similar: ‘Wow most girls go for legs OR cleavage out, you really rock that look’ ‘Not many girls can pull off a pixie cut, you must be bold’ ‘You must have so much confidence to wear a bikini that tiny!’ And so forth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:30 PM
3

Texting a lot doesn’t equal effort. Loads of people just do it to pass the time, they’re on their phones anyway. It’s a fun distraction. Also I wouldn’t believe for a moment he has absolutely zero social media... don’t you need a Facebook to sign up to tinder? Or have things moved on?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:24 PM
3

Ahh thanks! Haha. I love that 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:19 PM
1

I felt really awkward changing my nephew’s nappy because of how ‘in there’ you have to get, there are so many folds and it’s really important for their hygiene and health that you clean every bit and then dry and slather in cream. With my own kid it was completely different! Like. I literally made him lol. Of course I’ll fully respect his bodily autonomy once he’s old enough to express wishes around being touched. But while he’s a little baby I just honestly feel the same about cleaning his scro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:29 PM
13

I don’t know where you’re from but you’re better off searching online for a list of marriage benefits and responsibilities. I’m from the U.K. for example and citizens advice has a great page detailing the difference between marriage and just cohabiting for various stuff like property ownership, renting, child custody. If none of the benefits apply to you or actually benefit you in any way then it makes zero sense marrying. I know some people are pro marriage at all costs but it’s not always bene…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 11:43 AM
28

I’ve seen this before, but for the life of me I can’t quite make out what she’s saying at the very beginning. Can anyone help me out? Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 11:40 AM
8

I think part of the problem is that housing is crazy expensive, and as many couples wanna spend £££ on a wedding they think they’re being sensible in buying the house first and THEN saving for the wedding. I get the logic. Personally I’d rather just get married very cheaply than have an expensive wedding as it’s the being married that appeals to me, not the wedding day. Have plenty of cash left for really important things to me like owning property and having kids. So that’s what we did. It depe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:45 AM
20

I know you’re getting shit for replying at all, but honestly people aren’t perfect machines and I’m sure most of us have sent a few replies to someone we shouldn’t at one point or another. Yeah, you could have not replied, but I think you handled this really well. Dispassionate, classy, civil, and you shut him down. Considering some people send multi page messages to their exes detailing every wrongdoing or begging for them back, this is queen energy to me. Not saying everyone should compare the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:42 AM
7

I never resonated with this idea of the mean bitchy group of women who tore other ladies down. My whole life I’ve found that the overwhelming majority of women I’ve become close with or known through friends/work have been really supportive and cheered each other on. My friends and I spend so much time building each other up and boosting each other’s confidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 07:06 AM
3

That’s even more fucked up 😭 as if being groped is less offensive or degrading based on the sexuality of the groper! Man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:30 AM
4

Did I miss something where she stated her age? I assumed she was an adult, but maybe she isn’t? If she’s a teenager then I actually feel less bad for her, it’s still cringeworthy but at least it’s not as bad as if she is a grown woman who really ought to know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:58 PM
9

The biggest turn offs for me are “Positive vibes only” and “Life’s too short to be serious” Instant disqualifier: blend of toxic positivity and the emotional depth of a puddle. Nah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:53 PM
6

I feel like negging is such a huge thing cos it weeds out girls with high self esteem, leaving only the ones who are desperate and full of self loathing, which makes them an easy target. I got negged once. Talking to a friend of a friend in a bar, mentioned that I’d finished my dissertation and hadn’t eaten much for a few weeks so had lost a lot of weight just through stress (I wasn’t interested in anything with him so I was just shooting the breeze like I would with a girl friend). Got talking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:51 PM
77

I love that she called him out on it. Did you see how fast his hand shot back up to the back of the sofa once he leaned forward and realised she was talking about him when she tried to draw attention to something? He knew he’d been busted. Absolutely zero reason for him to be doing that, Jesus. His name is Louis Walsh. It’s gross that Simon Cowell said ‘don’t worry you’re safe’, too. What!? Clearly she isn’t, she just highlighted that this guy groped her arse. If he’s like this on camera imagine…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 06:56 AM
33

I would never trust a man who called my son ‘that baby’ around him. That shit is TERRIFYING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:58 PM
73

It’s appalling. We planned our baby. Very much wanted by us both equally. Husband bonded during pregnancy but once the baby arrived he didn’t really fall in love with him properly for around 2-3wk. Partly he thinks cos the baby looked absolutely nothing like him so it took a little time to kinda mentally adjust that this was his son. He still did literally EVERYTHING. Didn’t sleep for days on end cos he wanted me to try rest. We were stuck in hospital for a couple weeks with a poorly baby (he wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:56 PM
5

It’s one of the most disgusting parts of misogyny that society teaches women there’s only one way to have a vulva: ‘neat’, symmetrical, ‘tucked in’, pink, hairless. Any brief perusal of a vulva gallery will show instantly that the above is only one variation of a healthy adult vulva. Yet women are shamed to the point of actual surgery to remove parts of their anatomy because they’re so embarrassed to let a man see or touch them. When they’re perfectly normal. It really upsets me. https://www.the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:34 AM
6

What concerns me about this (amongst many things) is that most vulvae look like the ‘tucked in’ one before puberty, then the labia often darken and/or grow a little. So there’s really no way of knowing what a girl’s appearance will be until after puberty. So this dude has been examining his child’s vulva well after a point where it’d be normal to be familiar with it (pre puberty up to a certain age: normal to help a child wash or see her nude in the bath, post puberty that seems insane to me). H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:31 AM
24

It’s even worse: it was HER that said that. Not him. She’s trying to ‘jokily’ pretend that she is the one who wants to wait, cos she got knocked back. Even though she was the one to bring it up first, and he made it clear he wasn’t considering marrying her any time soon. It’s so cringe. I hate it when women debase themselves by pretending they don’t wanna get married anyway when they so obviously do and the guy isn’t into it. Just be upfront and honest about your intentions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:35 PM
16

Brings up marriage (rightly), gets knocked back, then tries to pretend she’s okay with it by saying she needs a few years anyway to take over the world first... when he hasn’t even given any indication he wants to marry her anyway. This is so cringe, I feel so sad for this woman. She’s lost her whole dignity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:34 PM
35

I agree. I’d feel kinda embarrassed sharing that level of detail on social media tbh. I might post that I had an amazing Valentine’s Day, or that my SO had surprised me with a night away or something short and sweet. Maybe not even that as it sounds quite braggy and a bit smug. But imagine your boyfriend organising all this and you can’t put your phone down, cos you’re documenting every single last thing. Photos of the dinner. Drinks, pulling up to the hotel. Of the jacuzzi. The bath bomb. The m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:22 PM
2

Where does it happen most? Work? Every time you’re about to enter a situation where you let loose, pull out a mirror and stare at yourself and say ‘don’t overshare’ of ‘keep your cards close’ or whatever short phrase fits. Every morning in the car before work if necessary. In the bathroom before a date. I tend to overshare and have really asked myself why. I think I’ve figured out the reasons and they’re not flattering or pretty. But you can stop it with a little ongoing effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:00 AM
17

7 - why was he openly telling a group of people his dick is narrower than a finger? Classless. Some men don’t realise when a woman is aroused they’re supposed to open up and be more relaxed and able to receive penetration, barring issues like vaginismus a woman that tight is super turned off and not enjoying it at all. Even with vaginismus that’s not enjoyable at all for her. Wonder if he is just so terrible in bed he doesn’t realise she was having an awful, painful time, or whether he enjoyed t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:44 AM
99

A medical professional using your data for purposes outside of their job role is a serious violation/breach of privacy laws where I’m from (England). To have used her personal info (name, to search on insta) to connect with her privately unrelated to his job is massive. If she reports this he will be disciplined and potentially lose his job. How do you even get to that position where you’re entrusted with people’s personal medical info without realising that? People deserve to be able to go get …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:41 AM
38

Make a note of their appearance, street name, time and date and registration plate, and report to the company. That’s what I do. Once I was driving home when a van with five or six guys in stopped alongside my car in traffic, opened the side door and started catcalling me, making ‘suck my dick’ motions, and just being absolutely vile. I did the above. Found the email addresses on the website of the company board executives (CEO, CFO, head of HR, head of recruitment, head of sales and so forth) a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:30 PM
19

I gotta ask, what’s a bruh girl?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:59 PM
52

Your ‘do I look like I’ve had kids’ seems a bit weird, what did you mean by that? It comes across like you think women who’ve had kids are somehow visibly different from women who haven’t, but perhaps there’s another explanation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:21 AM
26

“Heard” Guy ain’t as smart as he likes to think he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:17 AM
77

He thinks he’s so clever, asking if you’ll split the drinks as a test so you’ll try prove you’re not just after his money (lol... men who think like that never have any?). If he thought that little of you before even meeting, that all women are like his stepsister, then NEXT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:44 AM
30

I think the downvotes are more because someone literally told OP politely that the woman on the right was someone else, and she doubled down by reasserting it was Reeve’s girlfriend lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:16 AM
23

This. All too often I see people who are too afraid or lacking in confidence to stand up for themselves try and portray it as taking the high road or being the better person. I get it, it’s easier to tell yourself that story of events than do something that takes effort and guts. But it doesn’t achieve anything, it just enables an awful person to learn the lesson that they can walk all over you. Makes them more likely to treat someone like crap next time, too. Being the bigger person would mean …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 05:56 PM
157

Thanks for this lol. It’s so obvious!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 05:44 PM
137

His spelling and grammar doesn’t scream ‘dentist’ to me... 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:05 AM
19

I don’t get it... is he pretending to have a strawberry that he wants to exchange for nudes? Or am I missing something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:13 AM
14

Well it does help. If an attacker sees that their target is speaking to someone who knows where they are, can hear what’s going on, and knows something’s wrong cos the call cuts off and can summon help ASAP they’re less likely to try anything than someone walking without being in contact with anyone else. That’s just common sense ffs. 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:46 AM
2

Perhaps. I had unlimited screen time as a kid, but crucially it came after the early years where I had a love of reading and books instilled in me. We didn’t get a computer until I was four. So during that crucial early period of brain development I was reading and playing with toys. Some kids now are sat in front of the tv or iPad from a few months old. I get it, parents have gotta do what they gotta do to survive and sometimes if you have to do chores or work from home screen time is a tool to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:35 AM
15

That is the shittiest thing I’ve read all day. My husband plays games in his free time, when the day is done and the baby is in bed for the night and I’ve gone to get an early bedtime. The rest of the day he’s either at work or if he’s at home when the baby is awake he’s reading to him, feeding him, changing him, bathing him, changing him, letting him help water the flowers, sitting and playing the xylophone together, chasing me around pretending the baby is running after me so I turn and chase …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:12 PM
72

You don’t have to justify or defend yourself to some random guy... the best response is none. You sound amazing and have every right to be proud of yourself. But I suspect he’ll get some satisfaction from knowing he’s hit a nerve so badly you’ve gone to the trouble of trying to ‘prove yourself’ as being nothing like he thinks. The best response to that crap is no response, right? Not worth your energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 05:00 PM
11

Something I always do when I write an email is go through it before sending and assess for these words and remove them. It goes from ‘Hi Bob, I just wanted to say thanks for your help the other day, I guess I was kinda nervous about that meeting and I dunno, you really helped me feel a lot more confident. I owe you one!’ to ‘Hi Bob, I wanted to say thanks for your help the other day. I was apprehensive about that meeting and you helped me feel more confident. Thanks!’ the difference in tone is m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 01:09 AM
3

Haha yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:09 AM
8

Yes. Happened to me. My brother was abusing his wife, she reached out to me, I tried to help (she asked me to), he found out and she turned on me. She had to show him she was ‘with him’ to stay safe and the only way was to turn against me. I’ve been estranged from them for years now and it broke my heart but sadly she wasn’t open to the help she asked for and I could not have continued to play happy families with them knowing what was going on. It’s healthier for me to be apart. I told her when …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:05 AM
9

By the end of the first paragraph I knew it was hopeless. Don’t degrade yourself further, my friend! Are you genuinely open to hearing people’s opinions and then considering them or just looking to vent? If a guy told me he needed space from me, LONG DISTANCE, he’d have all the space in the world cos he wouldn’t hear from me again. Seriously, expect better for yourself! You’re not there to be picked up and dropped at his whims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:02 AM
60

That whole idea of ‘they made so many sacrifices for the family’ rubs me up the wrong way cos nobody ever says it about women. I’ve never heard anyone praise a woman for all the sacrifices she has made for the family, despite being the one to undergo pregnancy (which is no barrel of laughs for many), birth (!), potentially breastfeeding, usually being the primary carer and doing all the night feeds so her husband can sleep for work, taking a hit to her career trajectory and salary or giving up w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:50 AM
26

I like that you reminded yourself that his world doesn’t revolve around you and he simply doesn’t give you a second thought. That’s so honest and healthy! A less honest or insightful person would get stuck in ‘he’s trying to make me jealous’ or other thoughts that somehow make it so that his actions relate to feelings towards you. But they don’t. You’ve acknowledged he has moved on and you’re not relevant to him anymore and so now it’s time for you to do the same. Good luck ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:39 AM
46

So... what do you want? 🤷🏻‍♀️ there is no in between between FWB and girlfriend, surely? I thought those red marks were acne at first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:37 AM
7

I hate it when they refer to it as child porn. No, it’s sexual assault of children on camera.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:27 AM
4

Yep. Especially once MLMs co-opted the term. And every ‘presenter’ or ‘ambassador’ has become a consultant. Body shop at home consultant... you sell shower gel for a tiny fraction of the overall profit 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:26 AM
3

Yeah she’s probably really overestimating how badly other women want him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:25 AM
28

This was the sentence that stood out to me, spoken by her: “There are a lot of women of all ages who are excited to meet him. And I feel lucky” (she goes on to talk about how he’s her best friend and makes her laugh) She feels like the cat that got the cream because there are so many other women who want him and he’s with her. That’s really sad. You should never feel lucky that your partner is with you because he’s so in demand! You should feel confident that he’s lucky to be with you because yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:51 PM
17

My bugbear is adding the word ‘consultant’ to soooo many jobs. It used to mean something, either a senior doctor or someone experienced enough in their field they could charge for advice and guidance on stuff. Now everyone’s a consultant, it’s meaningless. Beauty consultant, fitness consultant, recruitment consultant... There’s a tv show in the U.K. called Dinner Date where a usually mid twenties/thirties person chooses three people to go on a date with. It’s hilarious, most episodes like 80% of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:06 PM
2

I agree completely. If you want the rights and responsibilities that come with marriage, get married!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 11:37 AM
1

I’m in a country that doesn’t have common law, in the eyes of the law when you live with a partner unmarried you’re viewed the same as housemates. I actually am glad about that, I’ve lived with a few boyfriends over the years before meeting my husband and I’d hate the state to confer rights and responsibilities onto us just because we lived in the same house, for me cohabiting is something I wouldn’t marry without having done first. The idea that I could live with a guy and then by default if en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 11:36 AM
19

I don’t really watch much TV, but Everybody Loves Raymond has been on in the background a few times this week... every single time I glanced over at it, the wife character was walking from one place to another with a laundry basket, or stood talking to someone holding that basked. EVERY TIME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 11:29 AM
9

Well done. I’m proud of you ❤️ I was with my ex a few years and at the start he said he wanted kids around when I did (late twenties). When the time came he ‘realised’ he no longer wanted them any time soon and didn’t actually know if or when he ever would. ‘Maybe late thirties’, he said. Obviously as a woman who was ready to start a family that was a no go. We broke up and it was rough but I recovered super fast as I knew we had no choice and I realised he’d have been an awful father for many r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:13 AM
25

In my experience, the guys who feel the need to mention how close they are with their mum (or their mum at all tbh) on profiles/first dates are the ones who are super enmeshed in a dysfunctional way and haven’t yet cut the apron strings. Like great, it’s nice to be close with family. But if that is a core part of your identity then what’s it replacing? Who are YOU? It’s an instant red flag for me as I don’t want someone who hasn’t progressed fully into an independent adult and is still a mummy’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:40 AM
3

Good for you, choosing to eject people from your like who try and use you as a free therapist. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation again there’s a good technique you can use if you want to see whether you can turn the dynamic around and salvage a good friendship: when someone is starting up with their monologue reply with a very short and breezy ‘ah that sucks. What are you going to do about it?’ It works for most things, the key is to not engage at all with the content and put the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:12 PM
33

It’s clearly some guy’s extensive fantasy about being some kind of irresistible sex god, you can tell from the paragraph where he’s talking about sex with his ex wife, then in the next sentence referencing the same woman talks about her estranged separated husband... and sending her home after sex. Like which is it? She’s your wife or his? You were married and live together or dating and live separately? He forgot to put in another mythical woman to make that make sense 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:32 AM
3

Yeah I’m not surprised at all, simply based on that post. Made me nauseous, he’s all over the place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:01 AM
1

Yeah. Our first date was coffee at a chain coffee shop, then a walk to the park with our takeout drinks. Total HVM: hot, tall, well mannered, financially responsible, funny doctor, wanted marriage and kids. I always preferred coffee dates as I wasn’t personally too invested initially with anyone, I just saw it as a bit of a low effort screen to see whether a guy was worth investing an evening or more hours into.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:02 PM
10

OMG. Imagine being so dim you try: Publicly slag off your ex Admit to having cheated (pretty obvious) Pretend you absolutely hate your ex Pretend you’re crazy about a new girl While also publicly bringing up new and ex girls childhood trauma (!?) All simultaneously? Like wow yes, I’m SO OVER YOU AND SO INTO MY NEW GF I have to make this massive feelings dump talking about how hurt I am you ditched me... so incongruous lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 07:05 PM
19

That’s actually not true, a good couples therapist will say that their goal is to facilitate and support healthy relationships, whatever form that may take. Look for example at couples who go to therapy to learn how to split compassionately or co parent effectively or work through a divorce. You don’t just go for couples counselling to remain together. You can go to part with civility and kindness too so that the next phase of your relationship, divorced co parents usually, is healthy and not cr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:24 AM
9

Huh! That’s cool it’s borne out by evidence. My husband took six months out after our baby was born, I took a year. He decided pretty early on he was actually one and done, instead of wanting two as we’d both previously said was the plan. We love being parents and it’s the best thing we’ve ever done but I don’t think we’d be as happy trying to juggle an extra kid with everything else we already have going on. I love that he knows exactly how much work it is. He went back to work saying he genuin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 12:13 AM
61

Yep... I’ve noticed amongst friends, the guys who are super eager for a second or third kid ASAP tend to be the ones who love parenting cos they don’t actually do the bulk of it. Either cos they’re working full time so they don’t get exhausted from the night feeds or relentless day to day repetitiveness of small children, weekend caring is a novelty and they’re in bed when he gets back from work. Or cos they’re just present absent parents who are around but see mum as the primary carer anyway, n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 06:10 PM
91

At three weeks PP my stitches had barely healed, I was still bleeding fairly heavily (it’s called lochia), everything hurt and I was 100% urinary incontinent. Couldn’t hold a drop. Fuck this guy. I was overwhelmed for the first six months with ONE baby, no job and a cleaner. We love being parents and my husband is the most involved father anyone could hope for, yet we’re one and done as we both know we’d struggle with two. This guy is absolute trash. If he dealt with even 10% of the bodily impac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 06:05 PM
3

Cos it’s free and hard to trace and they can do it without consequence and they get off on the fact it’s not consensual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 10:31 AM
3

I agree. Proposals shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. They’re pretty much just a nice event you both feel you’ll enjoy, after the decision to marry has already been made. I’m from a country where it’s actually pretty unusual to be married before having a child these days (I’m in the U.K., mostly working class area). Most people have kids and then marry later or not at all. I can count on two fingers the number of friends I have who married before kids. We always planned to get engaged and marrie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:19 AM
15

Oh my god. Imagine coming back from the supermarket and your HUSBAND, the man whose child you are carrying, going through the receipt with a marker pen. ‘Well this bag of salad is more for you as I don’t eat salad so you can pay for that... this shampoo, well I’m bald so it’s for you and you can pay... these ribs we will share so fine I’ll pay half of that, oh and I’ll cover this £1 car air freshener as it’s going in my vehicle... so we split it £34.60 you, £43.89 me, send the money whenever’ I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 07:32 AM
9

Despite the misuse of service I truly loved that role and had hoped to do it for the rest of my life. I only left because one of the branches I ended up at was a total shitshow and I couldn’t associate myself with them. Hoping to return to a different branch in the next year or two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 06:00 AM
46

I volunteered for a suicide line, the most well known nationally recognised one in my country, for over a decade. There were two volunteers on per shift in each branch. Our calls were 50% real, useful calls. And 50% pranks, sex calls, pick up-put downs. Most people I spoke to outside of the role thought it was more like 95% legit to 5% time wasters. But nope. 50/50. The training even included a full module on how to deal with sex callers. It sucked. Especially when you’ve found four hours to go …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 02:25 AM
6

IKR? I’m a super happy mother to a very wanted and planned kid and I’ve never been more pro choice than since becoming a parent. This shit is no joke. It’s incredibly expensive and time consuming and impacts your body and ability to sleep and career and relationships potentially for decades... nobody should ever have to go through parenthood without full enthusiastic consent!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:28 AM
17

In the U.K. pharmacists can refuse to dispense medication that goes against their personal beliefs. As a teen I witnessed occasions where friends would try obtain the morning after pill and be refused because it clashed with the pharmacist’s religious beliefs 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:37 PM
14

The ‘he know that shit ugly too’ was really upsetting to read. My stomach isn’t as flat as it was pre-baby yet and my baby boy LOVES it. He loves snuggling into it and squishing it and slapping it lol. And he grew inside it! That was his home. That guy is absolute trash. Her stomach is beautiful. And her baby will adore it cos she’s his mummy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 09:00 AM
27

Once in my early twenties I returned to work on Monday after burying my mother on the Friday. I was a bank cashier. Thought I was doing really well being as polite and cheerful as always and hadn’t broken down once, felt pretty good about how I was handling business. This guy walks in and I serve him, and he says ‘cheer up love, you’ve got a face like a wet weekend’. And I didn’t wanna get into trouble for making a customer feel terrible, but I just looked at him and said ‘if I told you, you’d u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:10 AM
18

Yeah, this. They’re reality tv fodder. Everything you see by default is done for the camera. All publicity is good publicity. They know they get followed 24/7, there’s absolutely zero reason they would drive to a fast food outlet and sit in a car without blackout windows unless it was to make the papers/gossip sites.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:23 PM
3

Yeah it’s just the most terrible lie ever anyway. I checked at the time and hot or not was still alive lol. And man. How did I not have the respect for myself to leave a man whose best excuse was that he was enjoying deciding whether he found photos of women hot or not. He also lied when I initially confronted him until I told him I had screenshots. What a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:14 PM
3

Yeah, basically we will support them financially if we’re able to (and possibly practically if it’s possible for them to live nearby) but we won’t have anyone move in with us. Husband is one of five so I hope there’ll be enough siblings to share the burden, I’m essentially an only but my parents would rather be in a care home than impose. Either way there’s just no way. People complain a lot about how it’s less common to care for your elderly family these days but man, it’s a full time (and more…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:05 PM
25

Yeah, before we got married (me white British, husband British Indian) I made it clear under no circumstances would we ever have a relative on either side come live with us permanently or stay for longer than a week or two max in an emergency. I would literally have to divorce if he insisted. His mum’s great but just no. Need my space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 07:59 AM
16

I think a card would be appropriate. Just a simple classic sympathy card, to his address. It shows you care and are thinking about him but isn’t as flashy as flowers (which are honestly a bit of a hassle when you’ve just lost someone in my experience, having to sort through them and find vases and dispose of and transport them).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:55 AM
13

My ex was on tinder like a month or two after we got together officially... I was suchhhhh an idiot and forgave him. He swore he hadn’t used it for messaging. He claimed he downloaded it cos he was bored and using it ‘as a game, like hot or not’ He had said bye to me, gone to a festival to perform and downloaded it on the way. Biggest gut punch ever to be told by a friend of a friend he was on there. Almost couldn’t believe it as it just seemed so incongruous. Obviously he lied when I first conf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 12:51 AM
16

How do they define success though? Remaining married isn’t necessarily a success... it can be due to external pressure and inability to divorce due to cultural shame. In my parent in law’s case, their marriage has always been difficult and violent from him to her and many times the kids have felt she’d be so much safer and happier alone. But she would never, ever divorce. Ever. So she’s stuck. Indian background. To an outsider that might look successful... married decades, lots of kids. But behi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 07:29 PM
4

Sure you would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 09:26 PM
4

Not beat: score one point. I’m not into tennis so correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s a big difference right? 1/8 men think they could score a point against her. That’s not nearly as crazy as thinking they could beat her at an entire match lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:56 PM
4

Yeah. Labour is no joke. I was NOT prepared for how I would feel afterwards. I assumed I’d just bounce back like everyone claims you do with a vaginal birth. NOPE. Felt for a week like a car had driven into my genitals repeatedly. The bleeding, the swelling, the terror of that first post-birth poo. I remember anxiously scampering around the entire ward trying to find a toilet with enough privacy so I could actually take a dump while screaming without attracting attention. I was completely unable…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:45 AM
3

Not just a guy thing... I and most of the women I know (well enough to discuss this stuff) have slept with a guy we thought we were into and then lost feelings or caught the ick and moved on. Doesn’t mean you’ve deliberately used them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 11:16 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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