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poorlyplanned Archive

View 0 posts and 108 comments by poorlyplanned on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

and men are actually eight times more likely to kill them self after a divorce than a woman, Irrelevant. Men are more likely to kill themselves in any case. Women are more likely to attempt it unsuccessfully in any case. Guys are just more effective. By their first name, you’re making a joke about it, No joke made. You should talk to a professional.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 01:12 PM
0

Moms can be worthless sacks of shit too. That’s an important piece of nuance. If a mom leaves a guy who is willing to make it work for the sake of his kid because she prioritizes her happiness over her child’s or her child’s father, that is a fucked up thing to do. That reality can coexist with one in which some moms leave their baby daddies or husbands because they are abusive or neglectful or something. Absolutely When it comes to divorces of “incompatibility,” the vast majority are filed by w…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 11:19 AM
-1

Lol I love telling guys not to date single moms. It gets everybody so riled up it’s hilarious. They don’t think for one second hmm this single mom would rather fck w me than raise her children with their father in a stable home. Yeah, no such thing as widows, and every guy who ever got a woman knocked up would totes be fine with playing house and could never be a worthless sack of shit.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 02:48 AM
1

Holy shit, what a hot take. I wonder if you can get a lawyer and claim some sort of slander lol? Know what’s an iron clad defense against an accusation of slander? It can’t be slander if it’s the truth. What she’s doing is grooming, your children! And I mean she is grooming, your children! There’s no possible way this is that. What the fuck? Getting them to think of you, as less than their father, that’s what she is doing and she knows she’s doing it. Doesn’t work that way. Also, OP can literall…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 02:47 AM
1

Who files tells you nothing. Someone has to, but in an amicable divorce, that’s not putting one at fault.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 11:44 PM
1

That sounds reasonable if this is what you’re reading. It’s inaccurate, as marriage confers legal status and benefits (taxes, beneficiaries for insurance and such…) as well as what this sub is about - a legal way to disentangle if it doesn’t work out. But nobody is forcing you to get married
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 11:43 PM
0

Too stupid to bring an argument or realize the stupidity in your comment, it’s no wonder you can’t manage a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 11:34 AM
1

This is the norm? How many happily married come here and say so? None. Because it’s not a good representation of reality.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 03:02 PM
0

Shut the fuck up with your one-sided bullshit. Marriage isn’t a trap any more than a job or a mortgage
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 03:01 PM
1

This is absolutely stupid. It’s like walking through a pet cemetery and concluding it’s pointless to have a pet because so many die. Only all pets die eventually and divorce is only statistically something like half. Don’t come here for a balanced view on marriage. Come here for support if yours truly can’t be salvaged.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 02:59 PM
-4

Motherfucker, I’ve been married and divorced and you’re still generalizing so hard toward an edge case that you sound like a damn moron. If you’re that afraid of women, avoid them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 01:18 PM
-2

While I understand your position given the sub, it's wildly inaccurate for the vast majority of responsible people. Not to mention, for every woman screwing around with money like in these stories, there's a dude blowing money on alcohol, drugs, hookers, and/or porn for some reason. This is why you insecure people never have joint finances (apart from a non-overdraft account for bills etc). If your wife asks you to, chances are she means to go on a spending spree on YOUR dime is a reasonable per…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 06:00 AM
-1

Y'all should probably start with some counseling. Couples' and also individual for you. you touch each other. Hands, arms, legs, intertwine. It was outside. A gentle, warm, late summer shower came with a beautiful rainbow. During the process you stretch and massage each other. There was a speck of pheremones in her perspiration. DEAR GOD! That was the most intimate experience I have had in over a decade. Dude, I'm gonna shoot straight with you. If your story were told with a few details changed,…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 01:34 PM
6

If I was trolling, this would be a “pot, meet kettle” kind of moment. My history here in this sub shows I’m not, though. I give good advice and point out absolutely ridiculous ideas like yours was here.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 04:43 PM
4

You don’t want to get married because of f divorce stories but you want to have kids? Unless you mean adopting or fostering or something, you’re talking a special kind of stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 01:09 PM
1

My question is, can I do anything about this? About her letting someone else hold or watch the kids while she has custody? Fuck no. Imagine if you did. She would have the same control over your life. I know you're hurting, but please take this with all the brotherly love it's meant to have when I say you're out of your fucking mind and that's just your emotions talking. I currently have 14 hours a week but I end up keeping them ~60 hours, mostly unplanned. You can do something about that. You ca…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 04:06 PM
-1

Get out of here with that toxic pill shit in your post and various comments. You need a fucking therapist at a minimum and aren't in any sort of place to give advice to anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 01:28 PM
1

what do you mean by "blame them"??? They will blame themselves, at least in part, for your coming divorce as well as for the affair. how will it fuck up my relationship with my kids to ask them in a nice, calm and loving way why they didn't tell me ? See above. Better would be to get them a therapist, as they'll need one most likely. Then ask the therapist privately and you might get an answer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 11:12 PM
1

Your totally honest wife who wasn't hiding the affair from you wrote it in her journal, so that's how you know they knew? Sound logic there. Here's a wakeup. No matter if they knew or not, her affair isn't their fault. In spite of that, they will have doubts and blame them. If you stupidly question them about their role or about them not telling you, you'll fuck up your relationship with them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 10:59 PM
0

do you want your kids to understand how hurt you are to destroy any possibility of a healthy relationship with your kids? slowly withdraw. FTFY. Shitty advice. Don't do that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 10:56 PM
-1

I get what you're saying, but divorce is sometimes the last and only resort. Sometimes the one filing for divorce isn't the one breaking the marriage. Sometimes it's already irrevocably broken by the other person. Sometimes it can still be fixed. Your harsh realities aren't grounded in reality, man.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/22 11:08 PM
1

Not really the company’s job, unless there’s a no fucking your coworker rule and then OP is probably just as guilty.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 05:01 PM
1

Assume outstanding loan is 7,000. Car sells for $4000. Now there is $3k outstanding. Great, assuming the bank lets that happen. And they probably won't, because they're going from a secured loan that isn't being paid to an unsecured loan with people who probably have shitty credit (see: unpaid current car loan). Now OP is on the hook for a much smaller debt. If he cares about his credit he can pay it off, and then sue his ex for her share. Again, assuming the bank is stupid. Otherwise, he'd have…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 07:45 PM
1

To sell the car means to turn over the title to a new buyer. The title is encumbered with the current loan, and the bank has no reason to approve a short sale where they lose their position of having equity. I’m left thinking you’re either not thinking this through logically or have no experience with this situation.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 06:33 PM
6

Because I'm old, jaded, and probably a bit bitter about having to go through the same thing and didn't feel like sugar-coating a turd
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 04:08 PM
2

Hahahahaha! Y'all are smoking some of the good stuff. Good fucking luck with all of that. Waste of time and money most likely, and the car probably isn't worth what's owed on it so good luck pushing for a refinance. You and /u/BlendedChaos2012 living in some alternate reality, in my experience
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 03:52 PM
3

You pay it or you take the hit on your credit when she doesn't pay on time. Those are your options.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 03:50 PM
1

Go find a good therapist. Fuck's sake, anyone who's gone through a divorce should probably see one a few times to unpack even from a civil split. Someone like you with your story and post really ought to look at a longer-term bit of work to be done.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 03:03 AM
1

She currently have a good job and make good money but she has a student loan of about 100k. During the conversation, she told me that when we get married, I will also be automatically responsible for her student loan payment. Well that's simply factually inaccurate. I have been honest with her that I don't see the reason why we need permission from government to be together but she still want to be married legally maybe in court. You seem to have some issues to work out or some growing up to do …
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:48 PM
2

That he went through with the adoption makes it much harder for her to take custody away. Without that, he’d probably be screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/22 03:52 PM
4

From what I’ve seen, courts don’t like separating kids without good reason. If you want to fight it, talk to a lawyer, but this wouldn’t look good for her in court.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 06:55 PM
1

Not sure who you are, but almost everyone can benefit from therapy with a good counselor. Especially if you’re going through a rough patch in your marriage or a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 04:34 PM
1

Find a counselor. You’ll thank yourself for doing it down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 11:40 AM
2

You're thinking too small. There's a directed push towards class division. It's not some feminist or womanist propaganda. It's pitting men and women against each other. Races against each other. LGB+ against straight/cis. Poor and middle class against each other. Conservatives and progressives against each other. Urban and rural against each other. Because we're useless when divided. And your comment falls right into the trap.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/21 03:40 AM
-7

No, it's called selection bias. This sub is by no means a representative sample of men who are going or have gone through a divorce. The stories are more likely to be slanted such that it appears the man got screwed and the writers of the stories are more likely to be sexist. It's like going to /politics and wondering why there are so few conservatives or going to /ahs and wondering why the average IQ seems so low...
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/21 03:36 AM
4

A consultation with an attorney has me feeling like by signing that document that it's now written in stone. Maybe not stone, but damn near. By signing that one in a panic, you've handed her the game at this point. It's not monopoly, so you can work back toward an even playing field, but it's going to be expensive and take a lot of time unless she does something stupid like agreeing to throw this one out. First step is to get a lawyer. You want a good lawyer that you can afford. More importantly…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/20 03:07 PM
4

Most of my belongings are premartial, I'm assuming I get to keep those...right? Assumptions are a good way to get hurt. Whether or not you can keep your premarital assets will depend on a couple of things, mostly where you are (different jurisdictions do lots of things differently) and whether or not those assets were "comingled". IANAL. If you brought a bunch of money into the marriage but you put it all into joint accounts that you both contributed to and spent from, it becomes harder to say t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/20 12:57 PM
5

Go easy on the sauce, hold off on trying to meet women until you're actually ready (not just lonely or desperate), and get a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/20 02:11 PM
2

This also means a wealth of tribal knowledge, doesn't it? It's not really tribal knowledge so much as the leakings of an echo chamber. I am curious why you did not discuss the possibility that she meant exactly what she said--especially after the focused specificity of the 2nd sentence. Not the person you responded to, but probably because he'll get enough of that in this sub from the MGTOW and otherwise -pilled folks. Folks that the other commenter was far nicer in describing than I would be. T…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/20 06:07 PM
1

It will probably go expensively. Possession will matter, as sick as that sounds
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/20 01:15 AM
2

Best bet seems to be to get back into the states and establish residency first. If you get her onboard with that, you're most of the way home. Alimony will depend on how long you've been married, among other things. If you've only been married 2 years, a halfway decent lawyer will ensure you don't pay it for long. You will probably pay it for a little while (or pay a lump sum instead).
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/20 10:37 PM
3

Dave Ramsey has a course that covers budgeting rather in-depth. Biggest criticism is that he advocates the "snowball" approach to debt elimination instead of the "avalanche" approach, he thinks credit cards are evil, and it's not a free course. There is a free trial.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/20 01:24 AM
1

Alright, stop and listen. They aren't going to send cops because it's a civil matter. There are groups who thrive on finding dumbasses who run out on child support obligations who are far smarter than you. They can get a cut when they find them. If they can find those folks, they'll find you. Also, it will absolutely fuck your credit. Getting a paycheck? Tied to your SSN, so your wages will be garnished. Tax return? She'll get that, too. Stimulus payment? Same story. You won't see a dime. Retire…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/20 03:50 AM
2

The funny part of this is that you don't realize you'd end up paying for someone to make you pay her. Courts don't like people doing what you're wanting to try to do. You're not some brilliant genius who just found the magic loophole. Stop wanting to be stupid. Start talking to a lawyer. Listen to the lawyer. They're both smarter than you and I, and actually trained in how to best handle this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/20 12:29 AM
4

That's how you get good and royally fucked. Don't be a dumbass.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/20 12:27 AM
1

Depending on jurisdiction, she might claim tenancy, making evicting her difficult. She also might have a claim for support given that they were living together and all for so long. but can she if she's illegal? Presumably nobody minded while she and your dad were together. Thankfully, the laws are starting to see stuff like that. It isn't a magic protection spell for him and his assets. He's been divorced before and my boyfriend doesn't want his dad to go through that nightmare again It won't be…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/20 02:56 PM
1

If you're employed and your employer has an EAP (employee assistance program), you can probably get a few free sessions with a therapist through that. You call the number and they pick the therapist, but your employer never hears about it. Health insurance may also cover it, but mine only would if I went over my deductible.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/20 04:32 PM
2

Dude, as a fellow divorced guy, I'm going to be blunt. Go get a fucking therapist or something. You've a hatred to the point of wishing ill upon someone else. That hatred isn't healthy. It can consume you, and will have a negative effect on your health. It's understandable to be upset and angry and whatever else, but this isn't just that. Get some fucking help. It's worth it when you come out the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/20 11:58 AM
4

If you want one just to have one, stop. You don't need one and you're wasting money. If you want one so she can't get alimony or child support, stop. You can't sign away children's rights in many jurisdictions, and it's unlikely that a prenup specifically to eliminate alimony would hold up in court. If you don't have the money for a lawyer to write it up for you, and to pay a lawyer of her choosing (a different lawyer) to look over it for her interests, you don't need a prenup. If that last one …
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/20 10:52 PM
1

Getting some counseling is one of the better choices you can make. Helps you deal with what happened and be ready to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/20 07:39 PM
3

Could be that she is trying to get back with you, either as an end in and of itself or for a better negotiating position. Could be she wants to catch you doing something that would make her look better in court (or that she thinks would make her look better).
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/20 01:03 AM
3

That's a ridiculous assertion and a terrible suggestion
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 08:23 PM
0

You're the one in search of proof. I'm just willing to provide it. It's on you if you want that or not, but I can be quite boring and pedantic with proving obvious things like that to people like you who refuse to accept reality.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 09:29 PM
1

Come on over once the quarantine is lifted and I'll show you more than you wanted to see
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 08:58 PM
0

Wait, are you divorced? And redpill? I'm sure there's no correlation. Get a therapist
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 04:34 PM
-1

Closer to 100% chance of losing both parents, divorce or not. We expect to bury our parents, not the other way around.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/20 04:08 PM
2

They can take almost that in child support alone
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 04:11 AM
2

Aww thanks, sweetie
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 04:00 AM
0

Not even close, and I'm sure even a cursory check would have shown that. There are tools available, but finding them is an exercise for the reader. My turn. I'm guessing you never mentally developed past about teenager stage, if that. You're bitter because women dont like you once they see the real you. Your life philosophy at this point lines up with either redpill or mgtow far more than you'd want anyone important to you and same to know. Am I close?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 03:42 AM
0

Says the one backing a theory of bias against men with the data being from a support group for men going through divorce...
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/20 02:17 AM
0

just read the hundreds of stories on here Please read up on selection bias
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 09:31 PM
0

Really, they're "priced in"? How? Large scale analysis requires going from impersonal data here, but to get accurate data, you'll need to determine a lot of situations like mine. There's nothing obvious in the data to call that out. That means interviewing and, given the contentious nature of divorces, you'll need to interview both parties. Even beyond that, what are you trying to say? If the woman files because of abuse or domestic violence, is that something against women? Are we going to coun…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 04:58 PM
1

Did you even read my post, or were you too busy assuming you knew the answer and that I must be stupid? I gave a real-life example why that data is, in fact, flawed.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 04:31 PM
3

I wonder how that looks per capita. Wyoming is in the lowest bracket, but they're probably one of the lower populated states. As much as I can't stand California, they've a much higher population, so I'd expect more money spent there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 04:21 PM
1

That's an interesting question, but I don't know that it's possible to answer. My case is a good example as to why I say that. I got the lawyer we shared, and it was a "no fault", but she officially served me. Statistically, she initiated it, but I was the one who went out and picked and retained the lawyer. Who actually initiated it?
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 04:18 PM
1

Some people leverage the system. Not always the woman, and it's a rare situation. This isn't redpill, and you ought to know that crap doesn't fly anywhere else.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 02:09 PM
1

Holy shit that''s horrible advice in the title
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 02:07 PM
0

Yes, and OP was upset that his ex didn't do something just about the same risk but more to his preference. OP needs to get over himself, as he no longer has input like that into her life. Sooner he does, the sooner his stress levels will drop.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/20 09:00 PM
3

Let's be realistic here. There's almost no difference in what she did and what you would have preferred, that she go to the store perhaps just before getting the kids. They aren't particularly at risk, but she could carry it from the store to them just as easily. Be smart, but don't panic. Also, you might find yourself having to do the same thing in the near future, so watch what stones you cast.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/20 08:58 PM
1

Only matters if it's at-fault, and won't affect the custody agreement
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/19 04:37 PM
2

I see women tell their story of how their “husband left with an 18YO” or “husband had a baby with his whore 2 months after divorce was final” and so on. That's just about the same level of disrespect from the man as we're seeing here from the woman. Both are capable of extremes. Even if you’re already divorced, it is so disrespectful of you and your relationship. Moving on post-divorce isn't disrespectful. Dude may be dragging his feet on moving out based one what we see here.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/19 04:32 PM
2

As a divorced dude, here's some hard truth. It will make you uncomfortable, so feel free to ignore me. Did you end your marriage with no big problems? No. You won't either. I feel like I disgust her. I'm very good at making her angry, but cannot seem to make her happy no matter what I do. You've had a lot of couple's counseling, but have you discussed this in particular? Are y'all actually using what you're learning? Have you had any individual counseling? We have 2 kids, age 7 and 3 This will h…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 05:10 PM
17

The attorney literally said you'd be in contempt. That you ignored that isn't going to help you here, as the problem started because you willingly chose to knowingly violate a court order. Ask your lawyer, and actually fucking listen this time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/19 07:08 PM
2

China really isn't a place I'd be going right now. Stay safe!
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/19 04:56 AM
1

Also if it’s feasible introduce your ex to your gf first That's terrible advice. My ex wanted me to meet her now ex-boyfriend (seeking approval, I assume) early on. He was a piece of shit, and I could see that when I met him. He knew I could see that. The fact that we were in a greasy spoon instead of somewhere more private is one of the few things that prevented a fistfight. All you're doing by setting up that meeting (unless you're looking at living together) is rubbing salt in the wounds. If …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/19 03:03 PM
2

Unless you have a reason to go at-fault, you generally will want to go no-fault in PA. Are the majority of divorces in PA no-fault or fault? And why? Most are no fault. It's much easier as you aren't trying to prove wrongdoing to the extent that the divorce is justified. It's also much cheaper as a result. I have heard that "fault" divorces take a very long time to get a court date, making PA mostly no-fault, but I'm not sure. It may take longer to get a court date, but there is also a lot more …
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/19 06:56 PM
-1

You're ignoring the bulk of what I said. Go back and re-read it, this time without the victim complex. She took care of the kids while you worked. If she had been working, she would have a work history and job that would give her significantly better income than any job she can get starting out right now. She would have developed a career and related skills. She didn't do that so that you more easily could. She will quite possibly have to get a job. You will have to support her anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/19 03:42 PM
5

Your comment shows a shocking lack of awareness or experience. Spousal support isn't universal. Among couples with similar earnings, there is no spousal support. Where it shows up, like here, one spouse has been building a resume, gaining work experience, and, in theory, increasing their income potential. OP is making money. He doesn't have to go find a job and start at the bottom. His soon-to-be-ex wife will have to find a job and start at the bottom, so her ability to earn anywhere near what h…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/19 12:46 PM
2

Let me throw some cold water on you here, from experience. If she was a SAHM and you were the one with the income, it is assumed that the choice was made to put her earning development on hold in favor of yours. You will absolutely walk away with less than 50/50, and that is perfectly reasonable. How long you can expect to pay spousal support will depend largely on how long you were together. It could even be essentially "for life", although it's hard to say without knowing more info like where …
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/19 11:59 AM
9

Self-medicating with drugs or alcohol isn't going to help, friend. When that wears off, the problem is still there. You just postpone it instead of dealing with it. Not sure that it will help, but lots of guys use the wrong size of condom. She probably didn't get with someone else because of dick size, as that's not usually a thing. Divorce is hard. Don't go looking for ways to make it harder for yourself
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/19 01:10 PM
1

That sub is cancer and ranks among the incels
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/19 05:43 PM
1

You aren't getting any breaks on alimony if she's been a SAHM for the past decade. The court will look at that as she gave up the opportunity to work on a career so she could watch the kid, enabling you to work on yours. Child support can be as much as 55% of your income in PA. Her medical issues may mean more alimony as she would be less able to work. Might also affect custody if it affects her ability to parent, though. Lawyer's fees vary based mostly on how contentious the divorce is. A frien…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/19 02:42 PM
1

You have gone against good sense. Get out of the purchase or find a way that doesn't put your daughter living there. Your future self will thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/19 12:48 AM
1

Would be best for both of you if you don't. Not healthy for her to rely on you, and your idea isn't healthy, either. You're here looking for validation rather than advice, it seems. I hope you change your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 10:22 PM
1

Your reply only confirms my position when you say Well that's why I need her for support. That's not her job. That's not a parent-child relationship so that she can heal your emotional pain. I also don't want to be alone and can't see myself trusting someone or meeting someone for a while Trusting and meeting someone is talking about a romantic relationship. You dont want to be alone, and that's fine, but go make some friends. Everything you've said here screams don't live under the same roof as…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 08:07 PM
2

Why? Because time and time again this destroys the relationship. You're not in a good spot mentally right now which will make that worse.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 07:30 PM
1

This is an incredibly bad idea. Get something you can afford or don't move.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 04:20 AM
1

Do all of that except for the with my kid part or you've even odds of ending up in a r/tifu post or in one of the relationship subs because you're in no proper mind to be sharing a home with your child right now. Live nearby, maybe, but not in the same house.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 04:12 AM
2

Selling the home might be a good idea, but for the love of all that you hold dear, don't live with your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 04:09 AM
1

No, Dude put himself in a stupid situation based on his other comments, specifically with putting hands on his kid when he was already in hot water, smoking pot around the kids when it was illegal, even after in a program where he knew he'd be tested, and not taking the parenting or CPS seriously. Dude screwed himself.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/19 03:25 AM
1

You have to give to get. You're getting reduced exposure, but what are you giving?
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/19 05:06 AM
2

If I'm crazy, tell me. You're crazy. For an agreement to hold up, post-nup or otherwise, it's going to have to look reasonable. You both have to benefit. What, exactly, does she get out of agreeing to not get alimony for long, especially if you're not giving her as much alimony during that time?
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/19 03:53 AM
8

You're really jumping ahead here. First, it sounds like you need to sit down with your wife and set boundaries about family. Second, get some marriage counseling. A marriage counselor can actually help with that first part. This may end in divorce anyway, but you're jumping far beyond where you should at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 01:21 PM
2

The friend thing may be possible, but you need time to heal first. Thinking of her is normal, but there's no harm in seeing a therapist if it's bothersome to you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/19 02:08 PM
1

Seems like an unnecessary expense for no benefit
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/19 12:24 AM
1

Given that he got on the site to deal with problems in the marriage, and given that he was talking to another woman on a site geared around sex, it's really not that much of a step from infidelity. It is quite possibly at least the early stages of either an emotional affair or steps towards a physical one. Marriage, even bad ones are two way streets. While this is generally good advice, it does not in the slightest let him off the hook for his actions. You cannot just blame the wronged spouse fo…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/19 05:07 AM
2

I think you should probably get a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/19 01:02 PM
6

You're jumping around here. Legally I want to know, does 51% custody give me what I'm looking for? If you're looking for 100% custody, no. If you're looking to get money from her, possibly. Understand, you don't really show a convincing reason here as to why you should have 100% custody. Generally, it's best for the kids to have both parents in their lives. That you want to take full custody without giving a reasonable justification for doing so (aside from vague assumptions about her motives) h…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/19 03:44 AM
-3

That's how you win arguments, right there. Go back to T_D, and tell your mom I said hello.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/19 02:47 AM
-9

Or, you know, fulfilling his legal obligations...
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/19 11:35 PM
2

I'm telling you it's easy enough for him to show up just to screw you over harder. He can even say all the right things without anything actually changing. I have seen it done, and it would just be postponing the inevitable and costing you both financially and in opportunities.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/19 02:48 AM
2

Seems like a bad idea, as an outsider looking in.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/19 02:32 AM
2

According to Nolo, while Colorado is a strictly no-fault state, the court can consider fault when it comes to distribution of assets.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/18 03:00 AM
1

Yes. Past experience where this came into play. Advice from the lawyer was as I've relayed here.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/18 04:34 PM
1

Unless the one welcoming her in (the STBX) is evicted, you cannot just have her trespassed. She is the guest of a legal resident of the domicile.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/18 04:25 PM
0

Good luck with that. The MIL is the guest of the STBX, so has every right to be there. Sucks, but them's the breaks.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/18 01:01 PM
1

Spend the extra, get a good (masticating?) juicer. Have one that can even grind coffee beans, make peanut butter, do a frozen icecream like thing from fruits and veggies. They last a heck of a lot better, too.
/r/askTRP04/11/17 03:24 PM
1

You seem like you are at the point where counseling may be good. It may help save your marriage (and make it worth saving) or it may help the two of you toward a friendly divorce. Either way...
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/17 05:02 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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