Supervised visits and my ex

vinnizrej · 2019-07-11T23:39:01+00:00

What circumstances gave rise to your ex having sole custody of your 4 children? Why is your parenting time supervised? And what conditions are attached to it? So you know, you do not have “standard” parenting time. You have supervised parenting time. The court made findings of fact (or, as you said, you agreed to this) and determined your parenting time must be supervised as that is in the best interest of your children. This legal standard may vary slightly in wording but all jurisdictions have a best interest of the child standard (U.S.).

Modification of your parenting time requires you to engage in motion practice before the court (or obtain the consent of your ex to a modified parenting time plan and put it in writing as a Consent Order/Decree and filed w the court). You must file a post-judgment motion for modification of parenting time. You must prove to the court, through evidence, that such a modification is in the best interest of your 4 children. You must show why supervision is no longer necessary (how have you addressed whatever caused you to have supervised parenting time). You must make the court feel compelled to allow you spend time alone w your children as their father. You must convince the judge that there is no longer a need for your parenting time to be supervised. You have to drop to your knees and beg for mercy. You are coming before the court in the weakest position. It will certainly be difficult for you without the consent of your ex.

What jurisdiction are you in?

Edit: also, don’t mention that you’re moving with your girlfriend. Don’t mention your girlfriend at all. And this will take longer than a month and a half to resolve.

Celacious · 2019-07-12T04:21:23+00:00

Kudos to you for your nearly complete honesty in admitting your various fuck ups in dealing with CPS, your son, and other aspects of the system. I gently suggest it would be helpful to go full-bore and fully admit to yourself that your predicament is entirely of your own making. You are not a victim.

That said, it's time to move forward. You're going to need to create a substantial evidentiary record in the presence of a credible, neutral supervisor (that is, very likely one who is paid) to establish that your parenting is now up to snuff. That will take many months. And you're going to concurrently need to establish that you're taking your rehabilitation seriously by, among other things, convincingly addressing the (alleged) problem with anger management, as well as the admitted issue of pot-smoking.

You can do it, but it's going to take time, effort and money (for supervised visits and a lawyer).

throwingit_all_away · 2019-07-11T23:16:21+00:00

The Guardian ad Litem. Get them on board and you'll get it. Without that youd have to have your ex to agree and if it were me, mo way I'd let you out of that corner. Most times there's reasons for ordered supervision and having been the other side of the table from the parent who required supervision, there was no way I was going to let the GaL think I was ok with it. That would have reflected badly on me.

SeenSomeShirt · 2019-07-16T17:33:25+00:00

Here's my advice...Just go with it, Rebuild your life. You are facing a uphill battle that you will never be satisfied with the outcome. But, you can rebuild your life. I fought tooth and nail to get what limited visitation I have. And all that happened was my lawyer got paid well. But the time I didn't have the kids, I hated it at first I was a wreck. But someone who was much further along in the struggle, let go, It's hard at first but you eventually learn to enjoy your down time. Make friends, get hobbies, date. And I did just that, I was at 100% when I had time with my kids, and when she had them, I had Me time. I got to rebuild my life in the time that my ex gave me by trying to keep my kids from me.

Title	Supervised visits and my ex
Author	Slayerdragons293727
Upvotes	1
Comments	15
Date	July 11, 2019 10:36 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/cc2fm9/supervised_visits_and_my_ex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/supervised-visits-and-my-ex.819396 https://theredarchive.com/post/819396

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