~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 40 | “Why did he marry her and not me?”Asking that question always makes it seem like the man was gold and you were audition for the post. It puts the man at the center of your life, putting your self worth and validation on what he wants to do as opposed to you and how you see yourself. It makes it seem as though the man’s choice determines your worth even though the man might truly be worse than a pile of dog shit for you. It also puts you in direct competition with the other woman as though the reason she got married is because sh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/21 08:07 AM |
| 123 | To the ladies who say FDS is "hot girl strategy"As someone who is closer to 30 and now really having my life together, it is simply nauseating to me to know that society considers 14-21 is somehow a woman’s “prime”. She’s a fucking child at that point. It is disgusting how women get their youth stolen from them which such disgusting predatory attitudes and their enjoyment of their adulthood stolen from them as well by making them think that they somehow hit the decline once they’re no longer a child. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/21 04:32 PM |
| 12 | A 49 year old man has an ✨epiphany✨ and people in the comments thank and praise him for his 'insight'🙌 and give him lots of awards 🏅🏅🏅“Pitch in if you can”... pitch in if you can??? Like asshat, these are your freaking clothes too! What do you mean by “pitch in” like you’re helping a maid to do the laundry?? It’s YOUR freaking clothes and the stuff you use everyday!! I swear men really think we’re maids | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/21 04:06 PM |
| 10 | Piers Morgan is the quintessential “nice guy” with a fragile wittle ego all because he can’t stand that Meghan Markle rejected himI was reading the article and legit came here to make a post but then saw this as the top result on my feed 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/21 03:37 PM |
| 24 | If you actively practice FDS, people are going to fucking hate you.Why even bother to get into an altercation? Personally I realize that I get much more of my power back by not responding, not acknowledging, not arguing, and just moving on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/21 06:21 PM |
| 2 | Expressing FDS values has gotten me into fights with women around meI think the issue might be that you’re trying to teach them things and correct their thinking when they just wanted to share something with you. They feel put on the spot and defensive. You might have found what you’re looking for but they’re not there yet or they’re looking for something different. It’s ok for them to feel however they feel in that particular moment. If you want to give them advice, don’t give it to them in a way that makes them feel like they’ve failed or done something wrong.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 02:10 AM |
| 65 | If you fw straight men “only ok” is hella generous.Same. The guy I had sex with for the first time, it felt like nothing. A few days later I called him asking if I was supposed to feel something. I was so confused because I have great fun by myself. I didn’t have an orgasm like I have by myself for another like 4 years. And then another 3 years after that. The whole time I thought I was broken smh. But you bet every damn dime I was going through hella emotional trauma during those years. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/20 02:31 AM |
| 16 | On the front page today 🤦♀️ why can't men, as a gender, understand what systematic oppression isAgain, mean commit over 90% of violent crimes worldwide! Am I supposed to feel bad for men because they’re killing each other and women?! Men are victims of violent crimes that are committed by other men. men are killing each other! Say that shit right! Men mental health would go a lot further if men supported it. The vast majority of therapist are women because men don’t choose to go into those fields. Men also routinely choose to avoid using mental health resources. Men are primarily the ones … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/11/20 08:59 AM |
| 20 | Does anybody else get this trash on Facebook? These game ads? Like, really? And the rest of the game is spent having her desperately trying to survive in the ads, when she chooses to leave.I think these are all clickbait to get you to click on the ad. I have played a couple of these games and maybe it comes later on, but a lot of it is literally just doing tasks to fix a house and the main player is actually a dude. Gardenscapes and Homescapes both have a male butler doing all of the work so I don’t even know how they came up with those ridiculous ads | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/20 06:25 PM |
| 14 | Could your lack of sexual interest in your man actually be the result of hidden contempt?Definitely. Towards the end I didn’t even want to touch my ex. I felt grossed out when I thought about him sexually and when I had sex with him and enjoyed it. I didn’t have sex with him for like 3 months leading up to the final break because I couldn’t bring myself to want it anymore. I used to be the one excited about sex and he was always acting like I wanted it too much. I still wanted sex, just not with him. I was using my toys regularly. After the breakup I didn’t even want to touch myself… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/20 07:00 AM |
| 9 | A little reminder for everyone 💕The amount of time my fucked up ex would say “it’s because you don’t understand” is embarrassing! I think once I asked him if it’s because he’s that damn mysterious that no one seems to ever manage to understand him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/11/20 08:10 AM |
| 10 | You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life. (The Holiday)I don’t see what was so vapid about Cameron Diaz’s character. The very first thing she does in the movie is kick her lying cheating partner out, then tried to be more emotional until she realizes it’s a waste of her time and then decides to move on and do other things. She’s got a gigantic house, her own money, a career she loves and is good at, and her own will. In most movies her character would probably have been made to accept and forgive her cheating asshole boyfriend and then cry herself t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/10/20 04:34 AM |
| 12 | Scrote sickness galore!What is there to read into, exactly? The man is childish, manipulative, and has nothing better to do, obviously. What kind of grown ass man with purpose and value would be doing shit like this? It’s harder to do when you’re in the moment, but when you step back and look at the situation, this man is not worth a second of your time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 03:52 PM |
| 51 | Canceling the date for this. He can’t bring me a chair? I just threw mine out as it was rusting but I’m not buying one this morning. We have five mutual friends so I have to let him down nicely. How?What is in between jobs? The dude is unemployed! How long has he been unemployed? And what kind of cheap ass date are you going on where either of you would need to bring your own chairs? I | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 03:39 PM |
| 11 | The fact this sub gets so much hate from people on the manosphere proves us rightI used to be a pickme, I’m still fighting a lot of those tendencies. I was a pickme because I thought I was doing something noble and good for men. I didn’t immediately reject or judge men who were short, unfit, poorly dressed, ugly etc because I really wanted to buy into the whole “looks don’t make the person” thing. I didn’t immediately walk away from men who were selfish or cheap or unromantic or uncommitted. Men complain ALL THE FREAKING TIME about how hard it is being men and facing rejecti… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 05:53 AM |
| 7 | On receiving oral sexMy first experiences were really crappy and I thought there was something wrong with me... until I found a partner who respected and loved my body and truly cared about giving me pleasure. That was my first orgasm with a partner. I realized that I wasn’t doing anything wrong and there wasn’t something wrong with my body. I was just with the wrong people. I don’t know who you plan to do this with but here is what I would advise: Make sure your partner is doing it for YOUR pleasure primarily. Not … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 06:18 AM |
| 3 | I'm tired of viewing men as the enemy.You’re not viewing men as the enemy. You are viewing them as how a good chunk of them are: they will literally suck you dry and kill you before they do any work on themselves to become better people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 05:35 AM |
| 2 | Let's talk about gaslighting for a secReading all these posts honestly makes me so freaking sad and scared for us women because of the psychopaths we have to deal with on a daily basis. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 05:24 AM |
| 3 | Homelander from the boys seems like most guys in real life, minus actual superpowersOMG they are both so terrible, a match made in hell. By the way things are going, Deep is probably just gonna end up in more shit, even though they’re trying to clean him up | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/20 07:20 AM |
| 2 | Homelander from the boys seems like most guys in real life, minus actual superpowersYes that’s both what I love and hate about the show. Love it because it’s real, hate it because it’s probably showing a lot of women’s trauma on screen and making them relive it. I love that the women call it out as they see it quite often. That scene of homelander drinking the milk out of baby bottle was so cringey and disgusting I wanted to barf. The whole man makes my skin crawl. At least no one thinks the deep is good anymore but Homelander is running shit. That new chick Stormfromt though i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/20 07:17 AM |
| 2 | Homelander from the boys seems like most guys in real life, minus actual superpowersI'm sorry but there is nothing redeeming about that character. All the positive things you listed are the skills that he uses to manipulate everyone into thinking that he is anything other than what he is: not redeeming characteristics. Homelander doesn't have enough of a valid reason for being what and who he is. Being raised coldly when he was in a lab is simply not enough of a reason to become a controlling, abusive, psychopathic killer because it's not like he was released into the wild as a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 10:20 PM |
| 7 | LVM only say this when they are looking for an ego boost from Barbara the Builder/Therapist Theresa. Don't fall for it! Remember: the only person who can save him is himselfFDS helped me a lot with my break up and staying broken up for good that time. I really wonder if these men truly believe the bullshit they tell people. Like do they really see themselves as the victim or are they secretly laughing inside at some poor girl buying their bullshit?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 11:58 PM |
| 67 | LVM only say this when they are looking for an ego boost from Barbara the Builder/Therapist Theresa. Don't fall for it! Remember: the only person who can save him is himselfSame here. One thing I came to realize though, when I wasn’t wearing ill fitting rose colored glasses, was that he blamed them for everything even though the glowing red flag in all those relationships was him. He would talk about how an ex yelled at him when he came to pick her up, but based on how he was, I assumed he was probably an hour late and them blamed her for not reminding him or some shit, which he conveniently didn’t mention. He talked incessantly about how an ex would call him assho… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/20 07:38 PM |
| 8 | Reminder, it's never your fault when a man hurts you.Yep. And my asshole ex seemed to think he was allowed to withhold forgiveness and dish silent treatments on purpose but would literally through a tantrum if I had enough of his bullshit and decided to take some time to myself to calm down. I still remember the day I called him out on every single line of bullshit he was telling and DIDN’T apologize to HIM when he thought that switching things around, playing the victim, trying to get me to comfort him would work out. They are so manipulative! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/20 02:57 AM |
| 27 | If you’re writing a post asking for advice on your relationship, feel the need to google his bad behavior or have endless talks with friends and family analyzing him, it’s a clear sign that you should leave.I’ve been there. My whole relationship with my emotionally abusive gaslighting asshole of an ex involved me complaining to friends, complaining to my therapist, googling shit, finding this sub... I knew even before I dated the fucker that something was really wrong with him. But when I tried to end it at the beginning, dude got really sick and spent a week in the hospital, so I thought that like he had said, I had “misunderstood” him. At least I always had my doubts and never just accepted his v… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 11:23 PM |
| 11 | Homeboy thought he could disrespect me on a date, so I walked out.lol don't worry about it. I laugh about the situation myself now. Lesson learned: no good dates ever starts with a grown man wearing a fedora in the middle of the night | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 04:25 AM |
| 9 | Homeboy thought he could disrespect me on a date, so I walked out.Lmao | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 10:58 PM |
| 51 | Homeboy thought he could disrespect me on a date, so I walked out.Good on you. Some many creeps think that the movies is a brothel or something. In high school, weird movie theatre dates weren’t that out of the ordinary because plenty of kids went fooling around there. But as an adult, One of the worse dates I had involved a rude, creepy, aggressive dude in his mid 30s (what was thinking) trying to feel up on me during the whole movie. I should have known something was off when he came with a fedora for an indoor movie at night. Before the date he wasn’t like … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 09:20 PM |
| 19 | Unconventional red flagsThat’s one of the things I told my ex when I broke up with him. He never asked me anything about myself: I practically volunteered information all the time, which he never followed up on or really cared to hear. Yet he talked about himself, and his family, and his exes ALL THE TIME. I met like 30 family members and knew about several others who I had never met: I don’t think he ever even asked me if I had other siblings, or aunts, or cousins. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 05:34 AM |
| 1 | Women seem terrified of leaving shitty marriages: why?I appreciate all the answers to this post because it brought up a lot of issues that weren’t top of mind. One thing I do want to point out though was that my post was about the women whose fear of having a failed marriage was greater than anything else and seems like a primary reasons that they don’t want to leave, as I’ve said in the post. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/20 05:44 PM |
| 1 | Women seem terrified of leaving shitty marriages: why?I’ve never been married so maybe you’re right about people and situations being very complex. However, I don’t think it is irrational to want to leave a man who is making your life a living hell. People have pointed out a lot of extremely difficult situations women can find themselves in after they’re married where it becomes extremely difficult to leave and I get that. I’ve never experienced it but I try to imagine how difficult and complex and hopeless it gets. I do still believe however that … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/20 05:40 PM |
| 1 | Women seem terrified of leaving shitty marriages: why?A lot of people are responding about women who have extremes cases where leaving a bad marriage is hard, like children, absolutely no support system, zero financial independence, and a husband who will kill them or their children if they leave. But these aren’t the only people who post in that sub. Plenty of women who don’t have kids, have their own jobs, even their own house that the man has moved in and doesn’t contribute to in any way, but the man is an abusive asshole and the women refuse to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/20 05:30 PM |
| 5 | Women seem terrified of leaving shitty marriages: why?I do get where you’re coming from and a lot of people get completely screwed over in divorce. But was it objectively better in the long run to get divorced than to have stayed married? Starting over isn’t easy for anyone. The older you are, the more baggage you have, the harder it is probably. But would it have been better to continue being with the partner while whatever led to the divorce to begin with was still looming over the marriage? I have never been married, I am still very young, and I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/20 01:33 AM |
| -5 | Women seem terrified of leaving shitty marriages: why?In the situation you described, staying in would absolutely not be better than leaving either. It seems that the only situation is being extremely diligent about vetting whoever you’re marrying before you marry them, but that doesn’t guarantee that they won’t turn out to be shit. Which again, leaving a shitty man might be very dangerous but isn’t it better than wasting away for the rest of your life with him? I do understand the argument of women who have children and are financially dependent o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/20 01:25 AM |
| 7 | Have we labeled the anxious-insecure attachment type pickmeisha?I have thought this was my attachment style as well, but what I came to realize is that only certain people made me feel that way, and they are the people who weren’t treating me well. I was an anxious mess in my last relationship to the point where I required medication and loss a ton of weight. When I was in a more secured relationship with a guy I knew for a fact wanted to be with me, at least for the time being, I was not anxious like that at all. I also don’t have anxious attachments with m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 08:38 PM |
| 2 | What got you here won’t get you thereWhat got you here won’t get you there | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/20 12:15 AM |
| 1 | Why some women are advised to never build with men: the minute they get something, all of a sudden they’re too good for you, you’re an entitled brat, and a gold digger!!I don't think her or her family were in the right, but his attitude shift towards her though is also 100% shitty! Plus he sounds like one of those men who only knows how to show off rather than actually build any wealth (judging by buying the latest model sportscar just because he started making some money). If he was sensible with money and had a positive attitude about his girlfriend, he wouldn't suddenly see what he is doing for her as major favors she is suddenly undeserving of. He would hav… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/20 04:29 AM |
| 5 | Getting a ring is too much work now and pickmeisha agrees at the top commenterWhen I read her comment again, it does seem like she is more pandering to OP’s taste rather than having a real opinion about what she wants. She’s just saying she is against the ring and it is silly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 05:15 PM |
| 23 | Getting a ring is too much work now and pickmeisha agrees at the top commenterDepending on your opinions of diamonds, it might be more meaningful to some to use the money towards something else. That top commenter sounds like she values other things than the ring, which doesn’t necessarily seem like a bad thing to me. Someone people want a different stone other than diamonds. Some people want rings with special metals. Some people want family heirlooms etc. some people are completely against diamonds because of the controversial and downright horrible practices to get sai… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 08:33 AM |
| 49 | Grieving a long marriageIt’s is also because you’ve been together for so long that he felt comfortable disrespecting you when he is unhappy. Calling someone stupid and crazy is not a “small” put down. Would he ever call his mom that? His boss that? Bad behaviors from men are never ALL of the time, which is why we forgive them for it and stay with them. Congratulations on realizing your worth and leaving a bad situation behind. It will be tough for a minute because you had invested a lot of time and effort into the rela… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 08:26 AM |
| 49 | I decided to check out the relationship_advice sub after seeing posts from there on FDS.Did you see the post about the 25 years old guy telling his girlfriend it is normal for men to be attracted primarily to girls 14-19?? Apparently after that they are no longer innocent and trusting, they start to look tired and loose their youthful energy. He had a very wordy was of explaining he is pedophile | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 08:06 AM |
| 14 | 🧐So do they think women don’t know what it’s like to be a virgin (as if they are not born virgins) while at the same time they are only looking for slutty virgins to be with? Why do these men make so little sense?? What rock do they live under to think that women don’t know what it feels like to be all of these things since the majority of people seeking mental health help are women?? They are so dense it’s not even funny anymore: it’s just sad!! Do women not work?? Do they just show up to their … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 07:39 AM |
| 13 | Every timeThis got me thinking about something: I remember once I saw an MRA article that was claiming men are risking their lives for women and shouldn’t do so in the name of equality. He claimed that a lot of men lose their lives protecting women from violence, freak accidents, and other shit like that. But get this: men commit the vast majority of crimes in society, especially violent crimes targeted at women. Women primarily need men to protect them from OTHER MEN trying to Abuse them, rob them, beat … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/20 04:15 AM |
| 6 | Husband stalked wife until she married him, but she had no idea... this gave me the CREEPSExactly. The way the story is so well crafted and told at length feels more like a fan fiction of you than a real life story | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 06:58 PM |
| 40 | Man astonished girlfriend wants to store things in her apartment; calls her fat and throws things awayFirst there is the lazy manbaby boyfriend who stole his girlfriend’s crafts that SHE TOLD HIM NOT TO SELL because he didn’t have money and didn’t want to get a job, and now this old, controlling asshole who throws away his girlfriend’s jars IN HER OWN DAMN HOUSE because he didn’t like them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 07:35 AM |
| 15 | Manipulative men learning about healthy communication skills and types of abuse to shift the blame and use you.It’s not just addicts: it’s shitty men who don’t want to change in general. I remember by ex would get extremely butthurt and give me the silent treatment when I implied that he was being manipulative. Why? Because he was being manipulative and didn’t like it when people suspect that, so he would make you feel crazy and unreasonable for daring to accuse him of that. Even when you spell out how they are being manipulative they try to make it seem like it’s because you don’t understand, as if you’… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 01:54 AM |
| 5 | Manipulative men learning about healthy communication skills and types of abuse to shift the blame and use you.At this point I don’t even think “avoidant” is an attachment style anymore. Their behavior is just way too intentional to just be a product of their upbringing. I think it’s a term psychology coined for children that abusive adult men are happy to co-opt so they don’t have to take any actual responsibility for their abusive behaviors. They know what they’re doing is fucked up but they do it anyway, and it’s not coming from a place of hurt: it’s coming from a place of wanting to control and manip… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/20 01:45 AM |
| 12 | Manipulative men learning about healthy communication skills and types of abuse to shift the blame and use you.My ex used “emotionally avoidant” to justify him being a gaslighting, disrespectful, abusive asshole on purpose. Things he would blame not being “emotionally open”: 1) giving the silent treatment when he is unhappy instead of communicating what the issue is, which he knew would make me anxious because I told him so several times 2) withholding information, any information really, whenever it suited him 3) using everything except his own deliberate actions as an excuse for the shitty things he di… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/04/20 10:36 PM |
| 14 | I feel so sorry for this woman. An insecure LVM strikes again.I just looked at OP’s other posts and it is literally all complaints about that same boyfriend it seems. If you’re constantly asking for advice about a shitty guy who tells you shitty things and makes you feel shitty, you probably should get rid of the shitty guy. I should have done the same thing when I found myself complaining about my shitty ex all the time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/20 10:21 PM |
| 7 | Don't Date Much Older Men!!! My Story of Dating my ProfessorWow, sounds exactly like my ex, who was 10 years older than me. He wouldn’t flat out say he was right, but would frequently tell me “I can never win” as though I was being unreasonable and changing my stance just to keep him from winning. Also, he would never AGREE with me on anything: he would always say “I don’t disagree“ or “I won’t refute all of it”, always acting like he was doing me a favor. He would routinely give me a silent treatment when I disagreed with him, Which would make me anxiou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/20 08:06 PM |
| 33 | Pickmeshas fear their own standards.Can you think of anyone telling women consistently to have standards and keep them, and solidifying that this is normal behavior ? Generally EVERYONE in society is telling women that they aren’t good enough, but at the same time they are asking too much, expecting too much, saying too much, being too this or that. It’s not wonder that a lot of us have been pickmes because society raises you to believe that you’re not worthy of anything good. Imagine spending your whole life being told a lie and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 01:53 AM |
| 3 | How he sets you up, targets you, and grooms youYou’re probably right. The reason why I wanted that was because every time he would do something extremely fucked up, I would call him out on his bullshit and realize that he would do literally anything to take the blame off of himself. There was always the initial shock where the cognitive dissonance went away. But once I calmed down, he would insidiously justify his behavior and provide reasons that made me doubt myself and feel like I misunderstood or overreacted and I would pity him, found m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 07:22 PM |
| 7 | How he sets you up, targets you, and grooms youThank you for the advice. For me personally, reading some relationship advice posts really helps me out the whole thing into perspective so it has been helpful. Every time I see something that reminds me of that trauma, it solidifies why leaving was the only good choice. It takes away the self doubt that kept me in the relationship for a year, against my own gut feelings. When I’m experiencing strong emotions, I’ll never make the mistake of reaching out to him again because posts like this let i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 08:02 AM |
| 9 | What is the best thing that happened to you after your left your bad relationship?Same thing happened to me. I had also lost 15lbs within the first few months of being with him, to the point where everyone around me was concerned about me, especially my mom. When I stopped putting so much into the relationship, I started to gain my weight back. The first time I broke up with him. I got so many compliments. I felt more confident. I felt happier and freer when I danced (which is something I did regularly with him in a community). It felt like I was more me. When I interacted wi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 07:02 AM |
| 28 | What is the best thing that happened to you after your left your bad relationship?Bad partners have a way of keeping you so unstable and insecure that you cling to the thought of them for dear life. Otherwise they wouldn’t be effective and no one would stay in an unstable relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 04:09 AM |
| 45 | What is the best thing that happened to you after your left your bad relationship?Personally, I have my peace back. I’m laughing again. My anxiety isn’t off the charts anymore. The only times I truly feel bad about myself are the ones that I’ve interacted with him post the breakup | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 03:33 AM |
| 40 | How he sets you up, targets you, and grooms youReading this brings traumatic flashbacks. I just got out of a bad relationship about a month ago: when I finally realized how I had been emotionally abused and psychologically manipulated for a YEAR, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Even after the break up I still have him the benefit of the doubt and tried to talk to him about it, but he used that opportunity to once again try to psychologically manipulate me into thinking that I shared half the blame for the wrong in the relationship (eve… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/20 03:15 AM |
| 9 | Tips for recovering and being able to function normally after long-term emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship with a narcissistic LVM?You already saw the red flags in the dude yet you still call him HV. Regardless of what value you think he potentially had or what value you brought to the table, you clearly think he failed on understanding your emotional needs and providing support. What’s the point of chasing someone like that? It’s repeating the same cycle all over again. Keep working on yourself. If your past relationship is still so raw that it is causing you to have outburst with your new partners, take more time away fro… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/20 07:47 AM |
| 10 | Is it bad that I’m waiting for him to get in touch so I can call him out on his shit?What’s the point? Does this guy seem like someone who respects you at all? What do you think calling him out is going to do: Make him change his ways?? Unfortunately you can’t plaster his face everywhere as a warning for all the other women he meets to know what a shitbag he is: anything less than that is simply not worth your time. He will most likely insult you again if you try to call him out. Clear your mental space of his BS and move on with your life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/20 07:40 AM |
| 10 | Be a cool girl for WHAT?! Stop lying to yourself!!!I see this mentioned a lot but as someone who studied feminist theory in school (definitely not an expert), I don’t get where FDS gets this idea that feminist rhetoric is encouraging women to settle for bad partners and bad sex. What I learned from feminist theory: I am inherently valuable as a human being and equally worthy as a man My emotions are valid My sexual needs and sexual pleasure are valid and equally important to a man’s, and I should take control of it and my body (which is probably… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/20 09:41 AM |
| 20 | If he doesn’t want to take you out on a date, he probably thinks you’re not worth it/“ugly”Some men’s thoughts and words just aren’t worth the time. I doubt any of us would give this guy the time of day anyway. He is not getting “pretty” matches like he is looking for because no one “Pretty” wants him either. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/20 08:20 AM |
| 3 | Am I the only one who is weirder out by this?What’s worse is that they always do it when something really bad happened. It’s not even implied as an intended distraction or something: they legit make it seem like “it just happened.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/20 04:41 PM |
| 2 | Am I the only one who is weirder out by this?The last time I saw it: The Ozarks. Ruth is crying because of how things turned out for Wyatt and she feels really shitty about what she did to his dad. She blames herself for it all. Barely two questions into the “comforting”, cue sex scene. Previous time I remember strongly: Bones. Bones’s employee got shot and killed in her arms. Employee kept apologizing because he didn’t want her to get mad. She was obviously in shock since the bullet was meant for either her or Booth (don’t remember who) a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/20 04:38 PM |
| 3 | Making conversation with menGreat! This is how I am going to screen relationship potential in men from now on. There is this guy I met when I was studying abroad 4 years ago and we have maintained a whole friendship through text and phone calls alone. I once asked myself why? Because he is a good conversationalist. I can and have talked to him for hours. My first time hanging out with him we talked for hours and had interesting conversations. We still do even though he is in Europe and I’m in the US with a 8 hour time diff… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/20 05:01 PM |
| 15 | Making conversation with menReading your response gave me a flashback to the last guy I dated, which is one of the reasons I told him for why I didn’t want to stay. Guys like that make you feel like you’re the most uninteresting person in the world because they simply do not possess the ability to understand the mechanics of a good conversation: it involves back and forth and generally building onto what the other person has said. They can talk at length about bullshit you don’t give a rat’s ass about and you’ll still try … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/20 11:29 PM |
| 7 | Making conversation with menTo everyone: I only liked this article because it was the only one I read on a slew of articles on the topic. Mostly linked in for validation that I am not crazy for noticing that. The advice they suggested on how to have better conversation seemed neutral to me but it is possible that they intended it specifically for women? I didn’t read too much into. I’m more interested in your thoughts on the matter itself than the article’s content. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/20 11:22 PM |
| 4 | 'I said to my husband: "You know, you always keep your thoughts to yourself. I used to find it mysterious and interesting - like a puzzle I could unwrap. But now I realise that there's actually no mystery to unravel. There's just nothing. And the silence is boring."'Link to post? Would love to read it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/20 07:29 PM |
| 37 | Making conversation with menYeah it quite interesting how terrible they are at conversing but then would turn around and complain that women don’t put enough effort. They’re either complaining that women ask too many questions or do too much or whatever else or they’re complaining they’re not doing enough. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/20 07:25 PM |
| 17 | I feel like all HVM used to be LVM. Thoughts?Maturity. Once men go through puberty, it’s like their dick and hormones overshadow everything else. The prefrontal cortex which is responsible for decision making doesn’t fully develop until people are in their mid 20s. So from puberty until mid to late 20/ a lot of men seem incapable of thinking beyond their dick when it comes to women, whereas women are socialized to be better people since they were born. Society kind of doesn’t expect men to be decent people until they are in their 30s: they… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/20 12:55 AM |
| 139 | I think all men are the same, tbhI feel you: a lot of men are users. I bet most of them are very sexually deviant and emotional leeches. However, the “all women are good“ is not true. Tons of women are awful friends, mothers, partners, and human beings in general. Women lie, women cheat, women financially abuse people too. In the current times, both men and women went to party at the beaches in Miami. Stay away from vampire men, but don’t go as far as believing that somehow all women are good just because they’re not men. Your … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/20 08:57 PM |
| 12 | Giving you his number instead of asking for yoursDo whatever would make you happy. But remember: you can meet attractive and friendly men all the time. That first impression doesn’t mean it was something special. You’re probably hung up on it now because In your mind you’ve made it into something big and beautiful and think you’ve missed out. If you message him, you’ll find out. But I’m sure you’ll still be fine if you never message him. It was one night of seeing a cute guy be a decent human. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/20 05:48 PM |
| 9 | Here's to us, all of us, who never had a dad or any model of what a healthy relationship looks like.Yesterday I was realizing that my mom and dad are terrible relationship models for different reasons. They aren’t together: at least there is that. But my dad is a serial cheater: ended up with 7 kids from 5 different women, All of these kids were born while he was in other relationships. At least he mostly took care of them with the necessities. He cannot he trusted: makes promises he doesn’t intend to keep at all the time and when I called him out on it he said I was disrespectful. My mom, wel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/20 05:36 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered March 15th 2020Hopefully he is now deleted and blocked | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/20 06:16 AM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered March 15th 2020It’s only been 3 dates and he already has you replaying things and second guessing yourself. With social distancing, he really cannot have that much going on that he’s so busy, unless he has real emergencies. Not worth the stress to me. If he wanted to be talking to you, he would be. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/20 06:14 AM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered March 15th 2020Sounds like more trouble than it’s worth. What would Marie Kondo say? If it’s not bringing you joy, throw it out? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/20 06:05 AM |
| 2 | Why some men simply should be avoided at all costsI removed it because I realized another user had already posted it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/20 04:34 PM |
| 10 | This guy legit has 2 women fighting over him. How does something like that happen??Last time I met an older man at Wendy’s, he tried to go on a date with me. I was less than 18 at the time I think. He was in his mid 30s from what I recall. I told him the age gap was an issue. He told me his dad met his mom when she was like 15 or some shit like that and he was 46. I told him that was rape: he did not appreciate that comment at all... man, as I write these things, I’m surprised how many fucked up old men I’ve encountered | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/20 05:47 AM |
| 3 | This guy legit has 2 women fighting over him. How does something like that happen??It sounded bonkers to me because it just seemed so reckless and she was describing herself as a “hopeless romantic” for her recklessness. But I’ve read some stuff on that sub that just blows my mind every day | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/20 05:44 AM |
| 3 | This guy legit has 2 women fighting over him. How does something like that happen??LOL. Too bad for the kids though | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/20 05:43 AM |
| 3 | Where we conditioned/raised to try and fix broken men?Fuck that! What’s in it for me?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/20 08:54 PM |
| 3 | Where we conditioned/raised to try and fix broken men?I think “you can change him” is the biggest, most dangerous lie that has been sold to women. We can’t change men. Some women die putting up with these men that need “changing”. We are not there to pick up project men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/20 08:51 PM |
| 45 | Where we conditioned/raised to try and fix broken men?This reminds me: when I was a kid (8 maybe), I was in a village fetching water, minding my own business. Then I started getting hit by small rocks. When I turned around, I noticed this boy throwing the rocks at me. I didn’t like that so I picked up a rock and hit him back. He got all hysterical and started crying, then he picked up a bigger rock and threw it at me while I was walking away. It landed right in the middle of my back and it hurt! I was angry but prevented from fighting back because … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/20 07:46 AM |
| 1 | Dating and Mental IllnessI’ve come to realize that “avoidant” is just another way of saying psychologically and emotionally abusive, and manipulative. Wasted a year of my life on someone like that. My anxiety went through the roof and I lost 15lbs in the first 4 months. People thought I was severely sick and/or dying. When I stopped giving too much of a fuck, I went back to normal. I tried to walk away like 5-6 times, we broke up like 4 times, and I kept going back because I kept doubting myself. That’s what manipulatio… | /r/askFDS | 16/03/20 03:24 AM |
| 8 | Using science to be disgustingHa! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 09:53 PM |
| 5 | Signs he's doing the minimum possible in order to hook you/sleep with youOMG I had the same shit happen to me with a guy and he tried to convince me that it’s because he doesn’t like to share details of his personal life. I went off on him a few times about this. His friend thought I was his freaking sister! Meanwhile he introduced same said friend to everyone as “this is my friend.” All I got was “this is poulette12”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 04:19 PM |
| 2 | What was your biggest Pickmeisha moment?When I was in college I fell in love with this guy within the 4 months we dated freshman year, even though the sex was never satisfying to me. He got mad and frustrated that I didn’t want more sex or wouldn’t be all enthusiastic about it. He said he wanted to open up the relationship and “outsource the sex” (his exact words) over winter break and I wasn’t having that. I basically broke up with him... then spent the next 1.5-2 fucking years chasing him and crying over him while he was dating this… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 01:04 AM |
| 1 | Do women have a blindspot when it comes to what they are attracted to?Reading some of these posts, what I, as a woman, am noticing, is a lot of men’s inability to differentiate between what makes a man attractive as someone to have sex with and attractive as someone to date. You need to be both in order to be a viable option for any woman. For anyone, for that matter. You may find someone very physically attractive and stick around just because of that for a bit, but eventually walk away because in the end that’s just not enough for someone who wants a well rounde… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/19 04:44 AM |
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