Why some men simply should be avoided at all costs

timetofliptables · 2020-03-20T10:48:16+00:00

Ugh I hate when people delete their posts. Cowards!

grimreapersdtr · 2020-03-21T01:34:13+00:00

ORIGINAL POST COPIED

My fiance (25M) wants me to quit my job (I'm 25F)(self.relationship_advice) submitted 1 days ago by SeaDragonsTail to /r/relationship_advice I'm asking for advice on if there is anything I can do.

Brief summary: My SO (significant other) is feeling emasculated by the fact that I go to work and he stays home and looks after our 9-month-old baby son. He has admitted that he wants me to quit my job and look after the baby while he goes to work.

Details: I have a good job. I went to university for 4 years, worked as a contractor for 2 years, and now I am an employee of a large company and well on my way to earning some major money.

My SO is a minimum wage worker (I have no issue with that, just giving details).

If I quit my job and he went back to work, not only would I lose out on this amazing opportunity, but he wouldn't even be able to make half of what I earn (I'm not exaggerating. In order to make even half he would need to work 12-14 hour shifts). We would make enough to scrape by, yes, but I can give our son so many opportunities that I could never have because my parents could afford it. We could go on holiday, not have to live paycheck to paycheck, etc.

I have suggested that he goes back to work while I also work (if he needs to work to feel like he's providing for his family then so be it). We can arrange childcare of some kind for our son. But he won't accept that. When I was pregnant, we agreed that he would leave his work because it was a dead-end job and I was earning a lot more money without having to put in crazy hours. I wanted one of us (a parent) to look after our son rather than getting a babysitter or childcare (we earn enough to have that option, so I thought that would be best for our son). Because I said this in the past, he won't listen to me now when I suggest he gets a job. He just rubs it in my face that that's not what I wanted. I'd never had a baby before, I didn't know what it would be like.

His emasculation is causing small things to turn into major arguments, always circling back to how he wants me to quit my job because a woman should stay home and take care of the baby while a man works. His words.

His own mother worked to provide for him as he was growing up (his father passed away).

He even tries to sabotage my work when I am working from home. Always coming in the study with our son, asking me to drive him to get a haircut, asking me downstairs or silly things that didn't require me to be interrupted while I am working, etc.

I'm reaching my breaking point here and I don't know what else I can do. I'm writing this to see if there is any advice, anything I can do that I haven't thought of.

Thanks everyone. Have a good one.

LINK: https://www.removeddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/flc8pw/my_fiance_25m_wants_me_to_quit_my_job_im_25f/

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