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puddlesteps Archive

View 9 posts and 57 comments by puddlesteps on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Ah okay thanks. I’m usually feeling like I want texting everyday at least to check in and I never initiate texts, but if someone takes more than two days I get very anxious and upset. I don’t show it but I still feel it in a visceral way. Most recently someone took a week to text me and I felt so used. Like ‘you think u can come back after a week of ignoring me?!’ Indignantly . I know it’s no use to be hurt but I’m anxious attachment and that’s how I feel and I am working on validating that and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 05:19 AM
2

This is a good technique for those types of men. How long do you think it should be before he should text me ? How long is too long ? That’s my problem !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 04:32 PM
1

Oh dear me. Someone dmed me to say that ‘short men are nice.’ And if me and my fellow lady friends told short men they were good looking it would help with their insecurities. HEY MEN: IT’s NOT OUR JOB TO THERAPIZE U FOR FREE. GO GET THERAPY LIKE THE REST OF US. And I did say you are all nice guys. Just in the worst way, as you have proven. Do some research on the nice guy syndrome. U clearly are suffering from it.
/r/askFDS03/06/21 11:41 AM
1

Not real phew ! @pinkcityscape clarified that it was a joke on above thread
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 11:35 AM
19

Short guys also have a complex if they are raised in a culture that says ‘tall is better’ honestly like men can do the work to unpack their insecurities but the truth is they don’t so the stereotype that ugly guys and short guys are nice guys in the worst way is true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:59 AM
114

Video entails a women captioning ‘this is my husband when I first met him’ it was a man sleeping on a bench. She goes on with accompanying videos for each statement ‘I gave him a place to stay’ ‘I cleaned him’ ‘I fed him’ ‘We fell in love’ ‘I bought him his first car’ ‘I made him into a husband’ ‘We have a baby now’ With some moving ballad music in the background like this guy is some hero in a Bildungsroman... Men we marry shouldn’t be charity cases. This woman has issues. Her value and pride i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:52 AM
7

I would also go to therapy if you can have access after dumping and recovering from the break up because the fact that you have been in a relationship with a guy like this and allowed this into your life is reflective that there is healing needed for yourself . That you accept this behavior and haven’t left , there is self exploration needed here.
/r/askFDS22/05/21 05:42 AM
1

Gosh he is just inspiring all around even as a person I want to be like him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:09 AM
2

Also when we adopt FDS strategy and hold off on sex, that also means we are emotionally available to date multiple men at the same time without getting attached and our decision making blurred by the rush of bonding chemicals. It’s like buying a house - we go to many open houses and maybe even go to the same house more than once. But once we start escrow on a house , we are so invested in the process even though we technically aren’t bound to it because we are in that in between phase. Not a per…
/r/askFDS22/05/21 04:52 AM
3

THANK U! Love this ! Genius !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:35 AM
4

Money money money ! Make some more money. Financial independence is so key. Make money doing something you enjoy. My friend and I make moisturizer and sell it on Etsy. Started during pandemic. Best decision ! We make extra cash literally doing smth we enjoy doing and will just do for free for fun!
/r/askFDS17/05/21 03:44 PM
112

I was so surprised when a guy told my friend that he wouldn’t date me because I’m ‘intimidatingly beautiful. not just pretty or attractive’ and the fact that I was surprised was actually a wake up call for me, that I need to give myself more credit . Because I know a girl who is objectively so beautiful, she’s a signed model, but she has low self esteem. Then I realized that the objective superficial beauty does not equate to self esteem, so I might as well be confident and tell myself that I’m …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:31 PM
15

With anyone of the things you already mentioned, maybe try to get more immersed in those communities. There are membership communities online, subreddits, get involved. Do one of them and get immersed. For example if music really speaks to you, commit to it like it’s a part time job for 6 weeks. Take it seriously for 6 weeks. Have a goal for ur hobby. I will be able to play this song on this instrument up to this standard by the end of the 6 weeks. I like toastmasters. Big confidence booster and…
/r/askFDS17/05/21 03:27 PM
1

SLAA or LAA
/r/askFDS11/03/21 08:26 AM
7

Check out facing love addiction, when the body says no, love addicts anonymous and work the steps, get involved in causes you care about, get involved in hobbies that put you in a flow state (if you don’t know what these are yet, time to explore !)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 02:36 AM
5

Age gaps , wasn’t made aware of them until FDS. After reviewing my experiences, and looking at relationships around me, I can say that FDS is right unfortunately
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 02:35 AM
21

And he is so secure in himself too. If he doesn’t like something he will say it and then he chooses how to respond accordingly. Healthy and present.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 02:29 AM
35

Which ones do you recommend !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 02:17 AM
32

This is so scary it sounds like older men guide to grooming a young boy or girl . Very very sick that there’s a play by play for pedophiyle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 02:10 AM
8

V true. I did that. It doesn’t end well. I ended up here and reading why men love bitches . Changing my life ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 10:14 AM
3

Love that FDS women are aware and having these conversations! Lifting each other up !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:50 PM
19

We have an entire gender that is emotionally in debt / emotionally stupid / emotionally repressed. You can’t be logical and making right decisions with all that energy being spent on hiding and burying feelings, and then either exploding or imploding. Can’t trust people like this to be leaders /responsible of nuclear families or larger organizations. Was dating a guy who was obviously very insecure about his body, his job, etc (made a comment about it, would never have sex with the lights on, if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:46 PM
2

I archived it and I also read it to remind me how awful of a narc he is
/r/askFDS17/01/21 12:04 AM
1

Slaa or laa meetings and working the steps by getting a sponsor + therapy with a therapist who mostly matches FDS ideology. Like my therapist thinks that my dating rules are fine and could even be more strict. Generallly probably women therapist would be better ? I have never had a male one so I can’t speak to that experience.
/r/askFDS17/01/21 12:03 AM
2

Everyone goes on their own path unfortunately. All we can do is help ourselves. Think about it. If you help yourself, you are saving a girl (you)! The hardest person to save. Save her ! Help her! Give her all the best advice, and then follow and execute on it! How satisfying to give advice and know it will be followed because it is you! You can’t control those other girls but you can control yourself
/r/askFDS16/01/21 11:54 PM
2

Yes because it sounds like he is aware that he is trying to prove himself to u (taking it slow) which is great, but sounds like he is aware of your past relationship
/r/askFDS16/01/21 11:46 PM
3

How do we communicate wanting these activities without giving a LVM the tricks to dupe us / pretend to be high value ? I’ve read that hiking dates are a no-go. LVMs like hiking dates a lot cause it’s during the day time and they can go to another date after that, it’s a free activity. I posted about a picnic date once , got down voted heavily as well on FDS.
/r/askFDS16/01/21 11:44 PM
8

I attended slaa or laa meetings and got a sponsor. It’s an addiction like above commenter posted. Life sounds really scary and hard right now so the addiction will be stronger. Your brain is desperate for dopamine and desperate for the familiar even if the familiar is logically an asshole. Congrats on the dialectal workbook.
/r/askFDS16/01/21 11:33 PM
1

Okay thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 11:25 PM
1

This is awesome ! Thank you !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 11:38 PM
7

I’m so sorry Cassy_85 that is so tough and so disappointing. All my strength and well wishes to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:24 PM
21

I just had a realization. I used to be known as the perfect girlfriend amongst my boyfriends friends. In the future I don’t ever want this title again. It’s a compliment but now I look back, why did I want compliments from man children , who valued basically being treated like sons. They valued being taken care of, laundry, cooking, driving from here to there, planning holidays, wearing what they wanted when going to group outings. I was the perfect girlfriend but the people making that judgemen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:19 PM
1

Love her analysis!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:06 PM
1

Goop does some nice dresses with functioning pockets. Crazy price points but great if the budget allows !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:05 PM
2

SOME REAL POCKETS GOD DAMN IT and the right fabric that holds the pant UP if there is anything in the pocket . IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK ?! We have sent animals to the moon !!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:04 PM
73

It helps them manipulate the next person whether they are malicious about it or not
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:55 PM
5

CRIES https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJVbT4Vy/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 10:43 AM
19

I’m here to preach to myself today. I saw my ex’s Instagram page that has just been made public. While he was texting me alluding that he was in the same city as me he was actually on the other side of the country. What a liar. He manipulated me, gaslighted me, abused me emotionally and sexually. He used and used. Was never authentic. Now I see he even pretended not to know how to cook when he can cook perfectly well from his photos. He was just putting in the least least least amount of effort …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:50 PM
6

It sounds like you are super into him and it’s activating all the emotional buttons and signals. I know you didn’t ask but I’ll chime in - he probably is into you. And although you ended off with we’d never do anything , if you truly do not want anything to happen between you guys and that is the decision you’ve made in a rational state of mind, then executing differently would be the best way to go about it. Since right now it seems that the door between both of you is ajar and only opening wid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 05:37 PM
16

The same way men don’t respect or desire nice women , hv women do not put nice on a pedestal. That’s pickmesha behavior and attitude . C/c why men love bitches . Yeah nice is ... nice but like thruawoo said , it’s one part of the big pie. And my aunt is married to a hvm who is not especially nice , but he runs that house , she runs the bills, he cooks and she picks the menu, she picks the holidays , she goes on holiday solo sometimes, they have a solid relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:00 AM
13

Damn I’m so sorry. I have this thought frequently as well - ‘i’m supposed to be having a lot of sex right now’ , ‘I miss having a boyfriend so we can be romantic together’. It’s so natural and normal to be desiring these things. We must experience these emotions and let them go. Do not let these desires and emotions control our actions. Actions - we must live independently and pick our mates very carefully. This is difficult so so so fucking difficult. (Recovering pickmesha here). But what is th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:51 AM
2

I usually end up talking to the restaurant staff, someone else at the bar, I’m an extrovert so it’s no mind to me. I love listening to people’s stories, and when they are strangers and you ask questions somehow quickly quickly it can get pretty comprehensive into their life stories which are charming or moving mostly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:09 AM
6

If u bump into him , I like shallon lester’s things of acting like u take a second to register who he is lmao. Indifference to get ur revenge. Act indifferent even if u feel vengeful inside. And then smile politely and say hi. And then say ‘see you around’ and walk away. INDIFFERENCE. And a cold rational logical decision that u choose that his presence is unworthy of ur time so u walk. Even if it’s to walk to the other side of the area that you are in with him and ignore him the rest of the time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 10:01 AM
10

Hello, it sounds like he might’ve been love bombing you. Good call on setting standards cause there needs to be escalation of his behavior, not a regressing. He prob started to realize you are not easy to manipulate or pin down for his supply. Good on you ! For friends and human connection, I feel fulfilled from going to 12 step recovery groups (love addicts anonymous in particular) and taking calls from people who need to talk. That kind of human connection fills me more than virtual happy hour…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:57 AM
13

Honesty first yes! Congratulations on keeping yourself accountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:46 AM
3

I love him! Just finished his book hungry ghosts on addiction. Veryyyy interesting and helpful to articulate some of my trauma from childhood . I’m a self described love addict in recovery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:44 AM
3

I shared in another comment thread on fds but wanna share here again. I really like Gabor mate’s explanation of Jordan Peterson https://youtu.be/qOJ0lUSBI14
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 02:07 AM
3

On the other hand, my covert ex loved Alexander skaezgard’s character in big little lies , half joking that ‘what’s wrong what what he is doing. She’s (Nicole Kidman) pushing him. He pays for their house and their kids. He wants to see his kids’ He also hated dany from game of thrones and was relieved when she was killed. ‘I knew she couldn’t be queen’ I was so mad about this one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 02:06 AM
71

When guys hate skylar and love Walt from breaking bad. RED FLAG.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:37 PM
4

Have to watch it because this could very likely be a seemingly gentlemanly , good looking, sweet, family oriented manipulator. Sometimes the book cover is deceiving. We must take time with dating to see people’s true colors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:32 PM
33

Worst story of mine: a guy I was on a date with called me a 6 out of 10 . I remained calm and smiled ‘ok that’s fair, everyone has opinions’. I was so hurt inside and felt humiliated. He added ‘with your personality it makes you an 8. Let’s say a 10 is Anna kendrick for me’ He then asked me what I’d rate him. So I said the truth in my opinion ‘Let’s say like my 10 is Tom hardy? I’d say you’re a 6.5’ and he said ‘that hurts.’ And I remained calm but was already so upset inside. He continued ‘for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 10:15 PM
56

Jesus and all those guys who are in digital marketing who can’t stop retweeting about modern stoicism. Facepalm. These men need therapists or 12 step groups instead of repressing their feelings, projecting, and then treating women with no respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 10:03 PM
23

Gabor Mate on Jordan Peterson: ‘repressed anger’ https://youtu.be/qOJ0lUSBI14
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 10:01 PM
7

New favorite fruit ! Hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 09:56 PM
91

Very painful lessons. Never trust men who are older and say ‘you’re so mature for a —- year old’ RUNNNN. That is not a compliment, they have picked you out as someone who has been forced to mature probably to compensate for a parent in family of origin who acts like a child and that gap needs to be filled in family dynamic so you’ve picked up the mantle to your trauma and detriment. Happened to me EXACTLY. So many guys complimented me saying how mature and different I was. What they meant was th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:14 AM
31

Thank you for posting this and summarizing so clearly and beautifully. I need to preach to myself now too in addition: No man is coming to save me. That is what has been brainwashed into me from all the books I read growing up that were recommended and popular, all the movies and cartoons, all the lectures from schooling in a conservative country, all the aunts and authority figures who wants the best for me but the end goal in their minds is for me to ‘marry well’ aka marry a rich man. Now it’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:02 AM
9

I enjoy listening to rom com audio books and recently finished my Oxford year by Julia whealan. After fds and why men love bitches , and my own love addiction recovery work, it’s like the veil has been removed and I cannot unsee the horrible decisions by the main character. For anyone who is new to FDS, get educated about the psychological trends out there to protect yourself and recover, get educated about love addiction recovery, make a dating plan that you will abide by, work on creating safe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:14 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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