raiu86 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Why is this being considered humorous and not highly abusive, disgusting behaviour? Parent to parent, have you tried a completely nonplussed emotionless "you're gassy, go sit on the potty for 5min and see if you need to poop." The fact that it pisses you off, unfortunately, is likely the what makes it fun.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/09/20 11:25 AM
1	Research on pedophilia is increasingly showing us that exposure to porn and pedophilia have strong connections. This is part of why there are so many more male pedophiles, as men are socialized to use porn I think that's just because they don't use sunscreen, lol	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/09/20 05:46 PM
1	Research on pedophilia is increasingly showing us that exposure to porn and pedophilia have strong connections. This is part of why there are so many more male pedophiles, as men are socialized to use porn No. Look at other species (their evolutionary history is tied into our own, eventually we all have a common ancestor). Females choose the best choice available. Males get what they get (and try to influence female choice by one-uping each other). Female selection drives towards whatever is best for us keeping our kids/grandkids alive. Male selection drives towards getting offspring at all. Of course, non-sexual natural selection and genetic drift are also major players (and everyone has a mom an…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/09/20 03:13 PM
1	Research on pedophilia is increasingly showing us that exposure to porn and pedophilia have strong connections. This is part of why there are so many more male pedophiles, as men are socialized to use porn No. As a matter of sexual selection it's more likely that female driven sexual selection makes men look more different from boys (vs how different women & girls look). The average human has more female ancestors than male: to over simplify that means every woman had 1 kid and all men had 2 kids or 0. Might also explain why human penises are bigger than other apes (relative to body size) ;)	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/09/20 02:11 PM
85	HVM in media done right, David is a HVM and all the rest, in my opinion, LVM I really like Princess and the Frog, but it's a total Barbra the builder fairy tail and Naveen is a LV fuck boy.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/09/20 03:52 PM
12	Some of you may not like him, but this is interesting to hear. Professor Peterson talks about Peter Pan syndrome (manchild). Watch this analogy and how closely Tinkerbell represents porn (she isn't real) and Wendy the eternal girlfriend. Source: Youtube I've watched some of his lectures and that really stuck out to me too. Like, dude, you're a trained psychologist and you have a wife and you have a grown daughter how the hell are you this wrong about women?! Also the man doesn't know WTF he's talking about when he talks about evolution/sexual selection. Which is ok, not everyone is a geneticist, but I would expect someone with a PhD to have enough professionalism and respect not to shit on researchers who are geneticists.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/09/20 11:23 PM
7	Reddit scrote talks about women’s fantasies I think it's also a way that the "dominance" or power fantasy expresses in woman who have fully internalized their submissive position in our culture... like "top in from the bottom" or "back seat driving". Its the power to drive men to do stupid shit, the only power women are supposed to have in a deeply misogynistic/patriarchal culture.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/08/20 12:57 PM
7	Ladies, we have to keep talking about how as women there is an engrained expectation that we should starve so that others always have a full plate. -Everyone eats or no one eats- Fat shaming babies is crazy, but the but the boy and girl growth curves are different. Of course the boys are expected to be heavier and taller, so if the baby girl was extra tall too then the pediatrician is crazy and stupid... she is just an Amazon queen in training.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/08/20 02:08 PM
5	‘Most of words we use for sex are violent, not just fuck. Think about it…. bang, screw, hit it, pound, smash, rail, plow, pound, like our entire culture has tried to remove the concept of intimacy/vulnerability/emotion from sex by associating violent words with the action. Oh that is bad: I've only heard that as a euphemism for pooping	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	27/08/20 02:24 PM
7	Thrive on consistency. Yall should check out Don't Shoot the Dog it's a quick read and super interesting if you want to learn more about modern behavioralism. It will give you good insight into how men manipulate women's behavior... and how you can change how people act to/around you based on how you respond.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	27/08/20 01:59 PM
56	My parents had a traditional marriage. Everything was in her name. My uncles give their salary to their wives who do the family finances. I feel like most ‘traditional men’ nowadays don’t intent to stay with their SAH wives ‘till death do us part’ considering how they react to such a proposal. I would say the housewife should be in control of 100% of the money in the house (or like 90% if he wants his own spending money, my husband just asks me to buy stuff he wants. Only things he uses his copy of my/our CC for are gas, dates, and gifts). She has to manage most of the purchases for the home so she should have complete access to the money. If she's irresponsible with money she needs to stay single (and employed) and focus on leveling up, single income families require good financial d…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	27/08/20 01:54 PM
3	Being a Tall woman I'm 6' and I've never minded slightly shorter guys (say 5'10" and up). Maybe I'm tall enough that the insecure short guys won't stand within 20ft of me...never mind talk to me? I've never had issues with insecure about my height guys. But even though I never much cared, I ended up married to a 6'8" tall man who calls me "shorty boo".	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	26/08/20 12:52 PM
37	Men, on a thread about engagement rings. But women are the gold-diggers, amirite? 🙄 "When you marry a man for his money you earn every cent."	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/08/20 05:49 PM
15	Look at the edit, men are idiots 🙄 Being a LVM is a condition you're born with and not a life choice. SMH ( /s )	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/08/20 05:34 PM
2	When men pull up other men for their irresponsibility. Mod message to r/AskMen. A woman did (That mod is a woman.)	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/08/20 05:20 PM
24	The last two sentences... I wish I could unread You should not be sexually active until at least 6 weeks post partum to allow the wound from the placenta detaching to heal. You should not get pregnant again until 12ish months post partum to allow your body to fully recover and regain needed nutrient stores (and to allow you to fully breastfeed your current baby. Breastfeeding often inhibits ovulation, and pregnancy often drys up your milk).	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/08/20 12:56 AM
11	Married pick me mom friend said the part above the original post...no wonder she’s settling for her LVM husband🤢 Maybe you need to get on tinder and offer to split an Applebees 2 for $20 dinner with them first?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/08/20 02:22 PM
5	American dating style? Back in my single days I never "dated" multiple men because so few men met my standards to accept a second date, but I did go on first dates with other men after my first date with my now husband. I think it was about 2-3mo before I quit "shopping around" on him, but if I recall (together 11yrs) it was only 1 or 2 first dates in that time. Picky picky 💅 That is to say, the goal shouldn't be to date multiple men just for the sake of it, but that your options are open until they are not, and don't…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/08/20 06:36 PM
2	Men post things like this to get a Pickmeisha to dance for them Who knows really. But I've never had a breakfast like that at a hotel not be way over cooked from sitting in a chaffing dish or just cold. For me, if I want to make a nice breakfast for a crowd I'm making bread pudding and a side of bacon or sausage. No fussy cooking before coffee, lol.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/08/20 04:22 PM
3	Men post things like this to get a Pickmeisha to dance for them Probably not. That would be like 10 packets of instant cheese grits there, lol. But homemade grits are super easy, just like making oatmeal or rice. (I'm southern. This looks like a pretty traditional big Sunday breakfast to me, my in-laws feed us like this fairly often. Muffins look like they came from Publix even, lol)	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/08/20 03:44 PM
3	Men post things like this to get a Pickmeisha to dance for them Grits	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/08/20 03:36 PM
1	How a man treats you when you're sick or going through a hard time is a good indicator of the future. No. I've had 2. Drove myself to and from the appointment and had a totally normal day afterwards both times. But I've had kids, I've heard that makes a big difference.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/08/20 03:25 PM
12	The "Ho Test": Why and How Men Test the Women They Date What did I just read? Abuse and infidelity as "shit tests"? No. That's just shit men. You don't need to "pass", you need to run like your hair is on fire.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/07/20 11:33 PM
8	STD Testing.... I think it's worth adding, part of the issue with HSV testing that while your doc can test for both HSV1 (usually cold sores) and HSV2 (usually genitals) he can't tell if you have antibodies because you have/had cold sores or genital herpes without seeing lesions as either virus can infect either area.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/07/20 10:57 PM
4	Has anyone seen Netflix Love on the Spectrum? I haven't seen this show, but this post makes me happy. I've seen some women here post unfair generalizations about autistic people which always makes me sad and mad. I have several autistic family members and most of them are lovely people.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/07/20 08:52 PM
4	Lol nope. Couples should have shared financial priorities, I would have been horrified if my now-husband spent that kind of money on a ring. I worked in a lab and wouldn't have been comfortable wearing something that expensive (even keeping it on a necklace to avoid tearing my gloves). That money would be much better towards a down payment on a house, a retirement account, or my student loans (he had none, lucky duck). Of course I'd also be horrified with a ring from Walmart. I agree that screams broke lo…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/07/20 08:43 PM
1	What do conflict and arguments look like with a HVM versus a LVM? May I suggest you read something by John Gottman. He has written many books about healthy conflict within relationships.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	30/07/20 12:36 AM
5	21 yo Brooklyn proposing to his girlfriend after a whirlwind 9-month romance. A disaster in the making? Probably. An example of men proposing as soon as they know what they want? Definitely. Not who you asked, but I think living together should come between engagement and marriage. No need for a divorce if it's a disaster, but avoids you because a forever girlfriend ("but babe, why should we change a thing?")	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/07/20 11:57 PM
18	WTF, this is funny?! Also a mom, also what I was thinking. After the epidural kicked in, it wouldn't have been hard to talk me into something silly like this for a quick picture.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/07/20 11:49 PM
6	Men as parents are failures It's like that too often, but it doesn't have to be. Good men and good dads do exist. My father was one, my husband is one. My mom was a sahm when I was little, but every Saturday was mom's day off. I remember going camping, skiing, or just to the park and then somewhere for lunch. He taught me to ski, rollerblade, ride a bike, helped with homework, and cooked dinner most nights when I was older and mom was back to work. I'm now a sahm too, and my husband does 75% of the parenting when he's home…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/07/20 10:46 PM
16	We all know unmatch + block is the best response to negging, but this might be second best. (Source: Randall Munroe at https://xkcd.com/1027/) He called her fat, I'd say that's close enough	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/07/20 09:14 PM
12	We all know unmatch + block is the best response to negging, but this might be second best. (Source: Randall Munroe at https://xkcd.com/1027/) He's a recurring character. He has an Amazon store front that is perfect 98% of the time, but 2% sends live wolverines to customers if that gives you a better idea of who he is. The girl is his girlfriend, they are evil peas in a pod.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/07/20 09:14 PM
7	Lesbian Finds Out What It's Like Being in a Relationship With an Average Man Could be the wrong meds for her, plus the lockdown (and loss of routine / external structure) is a special struggle for ADD people	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/07/20 09:09 PM
8	this makes me so sad I think calling this autism is wrong and discriminatory. My husband is on the spectrum (we found out after our first son was diagnosed), and yes he is super fussy about clothes. But he would never be such a selfish jackass to me (or anyone he loves). Autism is not an explanation (never mind excuse) for being an asshole.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/07/20 02:03 PM
5	How does FDS feel about the picture book "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein? That book made me viscerally uncomfortable as a small child, like I'm in my 30s and still remember how queasy and uncomfortable sitting through that story made 6yo me.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	26/07/20 03:42 PM
7	breaking mom and TikToks are my birth control 😬 The worst part, at least for me, is that I probably made tater tots specifically for the kids. I'd rather be eating like salmon and risotto, but the stork brought me a picky eater, so I often cook kid friendly just to make my day easier... and then it didn't.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	24/07/20 01:14 PM
1	notice the double standard Agreed. Different people are different, but sustained hair loss and amenorrhea are clear signs you aren't taking good care of yourself. FWIW some women have experienced a return of regular cycles under keto. For me it took months to realize I had a vitamin deficiency causing hair loss because telegenic effluvium is normal when weaning (and I'd had no hair loss during keto round 1 while trying for kid2), but once I did I went looking to see what had gone wrong. I'm trying a multi + extra biotin s…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/07/20 01:38 PM
4	notice the double standard You don't need carbs for healthy periods. I conceived my second kid while on a low carb diet. But you are right that both keto and veganism are prone to causing vitamin deficiencies, particularly B vitamins (biotin for keto and b12 for vegans). It's almost like us humans are omnivores 🤷🏼‍♀️. That said, I like my low carb diet. But I'm not a loon about it like a lot of people are, if someone invited me to dinner and served homemade pasta carbonara, imma eat it. And enjoy it.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/07/20 12:16 PM
1	notice the double standard If you aren't already try adding a biotin supplement. Apparently burning fat uses up a lot of it and you need it for good hair. I thought my hair was falling out because I weaned my kid, then maybe I needed to take a break from losing weight (even though losing weight between kid1 and 2 didn't make my hair fall out), but even then it just didn't stop. So now I've restarted my prenatal and added a hair & nails supplement, and I will see (hopefully in a few months).	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/07/20 12:02 PM
6	Is it just me or are there barely attractive men out there? That reminds me of a family I babysat for as a teen. Mom and Dad were both stunning: he looked like a football star and she like yoga instructor. Two kids, a boy and a girl. Poor dears, daughter was built just like dad (tall, broad, and strong) and son just like mom (short, fair, and delicate features). That was a long time ago, I hope puberty evened them out a bit.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/07/20 06:24 PM
9	Another woman (and everyone who agrees with her) gets torched for being a big ole meanie to her shitty ex-husband TBF if you're so out in the boonies that basic civilization is hours away there is no cell recption. (And, if it were me, I think I'd feel a bit bad. Not because his stupid life choices are my problem but because this must be upsetting to the kid)	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/07/20 03:09 PM
3	Girl's fiance stales and spends their entire savings to buy a gaming pc, plays with it all day ignoring her, house chores and his work from home. People in comments "how are you going to trust him with money again?" Wait, what? Where did I say a woman should contribute 50% of the operating costs of a household? I did not say that at all. I said she should do at least some of the financial management, ie balance the check book, file the taxes, pay the bills (not earn the money, actually write the checks/approve the transfers). The woman knowing the precise state of the households finances is critical, if he spends all their money and maxes the credit cards she can be left with debt instead of assets in a div…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/07/20 10:28 PM
8	"When was your last relationship+why did it end?" I think if the boy doesn't get the hint from "we just wanted different things. Now how about this weather?" They are profoundly awkward and you can just be blunt and let then know you aren't getting into that with them. Probably not worth a second date.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/07/20 07:36 PM
9	Girl's fiance stales and spends their entire savings to buy a gaming pc, plays with it all day ignoring her, house chores and his work from home. People in comments "how are you going to trust him with money again?" Personally I think completely split accounts for married couples with kids is a bad plan (and a recipe for an unfair split with more of mom's "extra" money being spent on kids). But every situation is unique and each woman need to insist on a set up for family finance that protects her.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/07/20 05:09 PM
17	Girl's fiance stales and spends their entire savings to buy a gaming pc, plays with it all day ignoring her, house chores and his work from home. People in comments "how are you going to trust him with money again?" A married woman should never leave the finance wholly up to her husband, she needs to be involved and aware of what's going on.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/07/20 01:45 PM
14	If he makes an unreasonable request, let him GO. No sticking around, no explaining, no negotiating. I think so too. I feel like this advice is a tad harsh. The world is full of pick-me girls who have granted these requests, so boys figure it's worth asking. Say no once and ditch him if reacts poorly (whines, keeps pressing, insults you, etc). Now that's for boys you're dating and actually like. Creepy wankers you're just messaging on tinder should just be unmatched.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/07/20 01:34 PM
3	Who else thinks that men’s haircut and beard trims are so cheap in order incentivise them to groom? Yeah. I haven't had a hair cut in 6mo because of COVID, but I usually just get it done every 3ish mo and take care of it myself in between. The world can just enjoy my silver racing stripes.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/07/20 07:23 PM
8	Life is TOO short to accept ambivalence from a man. I'm not religious and neither is my husband. My feelings aren't wrong because they are different (nor are yours): all I said was I don't like it.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/07/20 11:29 AM
8	Life is TOO short to accept ambivalence from a man. Maybe I would feel less disquiet about "voracious" as a description of male sexual desires if we weren't so culturally saturated in porn centered in the violent destruction/consumption of women's bodies, and men didn't try to flirt by saying shit like "I want to wreck your pussy" or "rearrange your guts". For me, I'd rather be "worshipped" than "devoured" by my lover. 🤷🏼‍♀️	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/07/20 11:19 AM
3	Life is TOO short to accept ambivalence from a man. I don't like this. "Voraciously desired" sounds like how I feel about chocolate cake on my period, like the object of this sort of desire is to be consumed.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/07/20 10:50 AM
4	Imagine going out of your way to play your own damn self like this That's what I was thinking. But I still can't figure out why the nazis and incels are so in love with him... nothing I've seen from him is that kind of crazy.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/07/20 02:15 AM
47	Never refer to yourself as 'wifey' or 'wife' even in a joking manner especially if you want marriage. Girlfriend... I'm a housewife and I don't do all that. Don't do all the chores even with a ring!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/07/20 11:34 AM
26	Because they themselves know the truth. There are. I don't even think they are super rare, but it doesn't take very many bad men to completely ruin dating for women. And I get the impression (I've been settled down for 10yrs now) that modern OLD is basically dumpster diving for men... of course you mostly get trash 🙃	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/07/20 11:17 AM
1	Interesting considering they need us more than we need them. 🤷‍♀️ And dick is a dime a dozen. It is and it isn't bullshit. "Ms" and retention of our birth names is important. But also understanding the rules and how they are changing is part of understanding the history of our fight to be acknowledged as people/citizens. https://seattlebridemag.com/expert-wedding-advice/history-behind-maiden-vs-married-names odd source, but a pretty good run down. "Ms" emerged in the 70s along with the legal precedent that a woman could retain her name upon marriage. And more personally I think it would …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/07/20 02:35 PM
3	Interesting considering they need us more than we need them. 🤷‍♀️ And dick is a dime a dozen. No. Traditionally "Miss." is only for girls and never married women. "Ms." Was invented in the 70s and is for undisclosed marital status. "Mrs." is for everyone else: "Mrs John Doe" = married or widowed, "Mrs Jane Doe" = divorced. In our more modern times Mrs Jane Doe could be married, widowed, or divorced (but a divorcee would very likely prefer Ms. Jane Doe); "Miss" is never used for an adult; and only "Ms" is correct for a married woman who didn't change her name. Source: Emily Post institute	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/07/20 01:58 PM
3	Interesting considering they need us more than we need them. 🤷‍♀️ And dick is a dime a dozen. I may be answering the wrong question but about 12 years old is generally when you switch from calling a male Master Jonny Smith to Mr. John Smith.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/07/20 01:46 PM
10	If you’re this bitter, it might be best to just remove yourself from the dating pool. I showed this to my husband, we settled on real ex-wife (& real daughter) who left him because she was a "mean bitch" / he left the cup by the sink. Kid may or may not be at dad's house while he's texting you. That's our theory anyway.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/07/20 05:21 PM
5	Is anyone else exhausted? I don't think a guy who loses respect for a girl who sleeps with him can be HVM (a HVM could say "no, I want to wait"). That's kinda like a girl losing respect for a guy because he bought her flowers and paid for a nice meal together. Its self destructive/ reeks of poor self worth and probably ought to be addressed in therapy. So, as I see it, trash took itself out.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/07/20 11:34 AM
14	Is anyone else exhausted? Part of the reason for the seemingly contradictory advice is that while any woman can do FDS the goal is really to become the queen you've always been. Once you find your value you won't need rules, your standards and boundaries will come naturally and be what you need. Example: FDS recommends waiting >3mo before bedding a man so that you can vet him without becoming "dickmatized". But me, I'm more like a man in the sense that I see the guy more clearly after sex (I've heard guys call it post nu…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/07/20 07:35 PM
25	Was feeling a little down about breaking up with LVM this morning... then I read r/BreakingMom.... wow I've never participated on that sub, but I got recently banned... because I responded to a comment here on FDS telling someone about the difference between rhythm and FAM for tracking fertility. I guess moms who were savvy enough to pick a good partner aren't wanted at their pitty party?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/07/20 06:55 PM
4	All hail Queen Ashlee 🙌🏽 This was on Murdered by Words and OMG you should have seen the whining. LOL.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/07/20 02:41 PM
7	Just a reminder that being a “girly” girl is totally awesome and valid and to shame girls for being feminine is to give in to a patriarchal culture that demonizes femininity because it’s largely associated with womanhood in a world that hates women. We can be feminine for ourselves, as well! Her hair band and earrings. Literally a crown 😍	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/07/20 02:33 PM
10	Just a reminder that being a “girly” girl is totally awesome and valid and to shame girls for being feminine is to give in to a patriarchal culture that demonizes femininity because it’s largely associated with womanhood in a world that hates women. We can be feminine for ourselves, as well! It's not just style though, it's a systematic devaluation of anything culturally coded as feminine: cute clothes, knitting/sewing, (home) cooking, child care, etc. Its a big driver of our wage gap too. "Pink collar" jobs are jobs done by women that require education that should make them white collar jobs but they pay more like blue collar; teacher being the most glaring example. "Mommy tracking" too (even for childfree women).	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/07/20 02:28 PM
2	The male expectation of women to be completely shaved Not necessary at all and gives the mistaken impression you give a shit what his preference might be. Watch, listen, be a "dumb fox" as the wiki describes it; men will tell you what they are you just have to believe them.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/07/20 10:38 AM
2	The male expectation of women to be completely shaved No. Why would I. My now-husband did ask about my bush once: I said I shaved once, but didn't like how it looked or felt so I've never done it again.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/07/20 12:02 AM
12	A book EVERYONE HERE should read Is this really a difference or am I just a bitch 🤔 I know my love for my husband would disintegrate if he stopped "putting out" his contributions to the family. I guess it is because he wants sex first and I want other stuff (financial support, help around the house, parenting, romance, etc). Idk, I don't find this "black pill" depressing. Yes, mens primary motivation is their wee-wee; we've known that since before humans walked on two legs we just like to pretend we don't.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/07/20 07:48 PM
1	The male expectation of women to be completely shaved I've actually never encountered this in real life. Well, not from boyfriends; I've had (female) friends give me shit for it oddly enough. But if I ever did I would just figure he was letting me know he isn't that into me and I will do better elsewhere.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/07/20 07:16 PM
4	How to assess HVM vs LVM effort in communication? High value isn't a universal standard, while some behaviors are pretty universally low value we will each need to find the guy that add value to our life. Like one woman may like a guy who texts her back through the day, another might find that needy and lacking in work-ethic/ambition; neither are wrong.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/07/20 06:58 PM
9	“Real men get vasectomies!”Dr Anthony Youn. That may have been how long it took to finish their family, a vasectomy wouldn't be appropriate bc for a couple planning (more) kids.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	27/06/20 08:47 PM
54	My parents have been married for over 30 years, and my dad still regularly surprises my mom with little gifts. (He does the same for me.) Small gestures actually mean so much. Cute, but not for me right now. I think it just goes to show: the goal isn't to find a HVM, but your HVM. I remember shortly after our first was born I commented that he hadn't brought home flowers in ages. He said, "I know. But you always seem so exhausted and relieved I'm here to help, it seemed wrong to be 20min later getting back to you just for flowers. Was I mistaken?"	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	27/06/20 08:37 PM
24	BuT hAvE yOu TaLkEd To HiM??? - Btw, if he's not helping with the cleaning he's not "wonderful", you're delusional! Preach it, girl! I am a freaking housewife and I don't do 90% of the housework and parenting. I took older son to his riding lesson yesterday evening and came home to discover my husband had done the dishes and tidied + swept the living room while minding the baby.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	26/06/20 10:27 PM
2	Put yourself first. Always. Very likely. Much easier to program than the real deal. Fun fact: almost all women (no matter their cycle length or regularity) start their period 12-16 days after they ovulate. Of course this doesn't help prevent pregnancy.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/06/20 03:37 PM
3	Put yourself first. Always. Well, Fertility Friend is the favorite app of /r/tryingforababy , those ladies are using FAM to get pregnant but FAM works the same for both getting and avoiding babies (just change when you have sex). Its also the one I used. You need an oral thermometer that reads to hundredths (ie 98.00) precision and then you take your temp first thing when your alarm goes off each morning from last day of period until 3 days after you ovulate. If your app doesn't have an obvious way to add that temp info yo…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/06/20 03:15 PM
3	Put yourself first. Always. If you aren't inputting a basal temperature daily the app is only guessing when you might ovulate and will only be effective for women with regular 25-30 day cycles. Just fyi in case you really want to use FAM to avoid pregnancy.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/06/20 02:01 PM
4	Saw this on r/Advice today. Very sad that this kind of thing is promoted. There's nothing feminist about being a slave to your husband. A husband who can't even cook or clean for himself smh 🙄😑🤡🤦‍♀️ Thank you! The level of anti-SAHM bias on this sub is a real problem. The women who want to be SAHMs are the women who need FDS the most! We can't be running them off by telling them they are foolish.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/03/20 11:26 AM
8	Tech/nerd guys are not harmless to women. In fact, they can be the most harmful. I'm going to go with patriarchy. Autistic women don't turn into incels, in fact they have a much higher rate of becoming victims of sexual assault (and domestic violence?). Also it's not accurate to say autistic people lack empathy. And even people who struggle with empathy aren't necessarily shitty people/psychopaths, a lot of them are traumatized and cut off from their own emotions (alexithymia). Empathy comes from litterally feeling others feeling, so if you can't feel your feelings you can't…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/03/20 03:16 PM
15	Tech/nerd guys are not harmless to women. In fact, they can be the most harmful. No. Autism does not cause incels, the patriarchy/male entitlement does. They have "glitchy" social intuition, not a burning desire to mistreat people.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/03/20 01:53 PM
6	I have no words. Redditor doesn't know what message splitting the bill sends. Splitting, to me, means "I don't like you (like that)". A guy might sleep with you even if he doesn't like you, but...yeah...no thanks. Not FDS-approved but back in my single days if a man asked to split I did (but no further dating), and if I really didn't like him I'd offer to split.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/03/20 03:37 PM
5	I feel ill after reading this, especially with all these children involved. THIS! There is no way he is completely protected from the other women getting child support from him. If the other woman is married and stays married for a few years after the baby's birth, child support becomes unlikely. But still.... what a legal mess. Girl needs to get her babies' money and get out.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/03/20 01:51 PM
2	Do I have to disclose to my future boyfriends that I have breast implants? Tell him you got them in a sword fight with a pirate. Cheerfully insist. He'll get the hint that it's not his business.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/03/20 12:49 PM
9	Wife receives job offer that could significantly improve finances for her family. LVM husband refuses to move and would rather keep his family one pay check away from homelessness. In the US these are often families that identify themselves as middle class because they have white collar jobs and a house in a nice neighborhood (that leaves then dangerously over leveraged), but they are still living paycheck to paycheck.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/03/20 12:38 PM
119	“I thought he was HVM!” Here here! Value comes from a person's values! We need to look for strong work ethic, not an expensive car; good health from temperance and self care, not vanity; generosity, not financial irresponsibility. We need integrity, intelligence (not always the same as education), perseverance, loyalty, respect. That's what makes a good man. And a good woman.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/03/20 01:36 AM
1	What do you tell yourself if he picks another girl over you? Pretty much. It's served me well; it seems to make LVM "invisible" or viscerally repulsive or something. I see a lot of threads here about how (un)common HV/good men are and my experience is that they are a high percentage of the men I interact with... except this one dear friend of mine who has a knack for crushing on total trash. And there is something about those men that I hate from, like, across the room. Makes things awkward sometimes, but so far I have never been wrong.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/03/20 02:13 PM
8	What do you tell yourself if he picks another girl over you? I don't suffer stupid men. Any man who doesn't see how amazing I am is stupid. 😉	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/03/20 12:43 PM
2	Dress Code for a HVW? I think you need to be you. If you are a jeans and tee and hiking kind of girl you need to attract men who like those kinds of girls. If you pretend to be a cocktail dress heals and symphonies kind of girl the men you attract will be (understandably) disappointed when you try to be who you really are. And that will feel super shitty. That said, being a cute stylish(ish) and well groomed version of you will give you more men to choose from...for better and worse.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/03/20 11:42 PM
2	How to let a man know if they date he suggests is not appropriate My husband is an engineer. I'd say that's about right. The top tier ones, A make great money and B come from schools that are 75%+ male and so are expecting to have to work hard for a woman's attention.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/03/20 02:09 PM
3	Having kids with HVM’s Hmm. We really don't fight often at all. We like each other, respect each other (and ourselves), and have very similar values and priorities. Sure we get annoyed/frustrated with each other, we're human and failiable. This morning my husband is annoyed I put the toddler in our bed at 1am. So he said to me, "please stop putting kid2 in the bed. He kicks me." And sure, we disagree on things. I'm TeamWarren, and he's feeling the Bern; I like the house "too cold" at night. But (with the possible exce…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/03/20 12:44 PM
11	Just when we thought The Bachelor/Bachelorette could not get more “pick me”... they have officially peaked, ladies. We are not a monolith. Personally I love cooking and fine dining and so I have no interest in a man that (looks like?) he eats nothing but chicken breasts, brown rice, and protein shakes. I mean if there was some magic where men could look like that but still enjoy good food/wine and not spend hours at the gym, then sure! But alas 🤷🏼‍♀️🍸 (And tbf, you can tell by looking I don't miss meals!)	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/03/20 11:00 PM
2	When is it acceptable to do nice things for him? On his birthday. But maybe not the first one together if he hasn't had the chance to treat you for Christmas/Valentine's/your birthday. And don't out do him.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/03/20 08:08 PM
16	Remember, ONLY LVMs will try to convince you that “men don’t care about your education/success, only your looks/personality.” In reality, HVMs do care. Met my husband 11 years ago on eHarmony, he latter mentioned that the reason he was willing to date a woman who lived ~2hrs away was because I mentioned in my bio I was working on my PhD and he was intrigued. At the time he was working on his masters. He wanted an equal.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/03/20 08:02 PM
48	Having kids with HVM’s Firstly, he is/was a fully functional independent adult. He managed his money wisely, kept his apartment clean, cooked his meals at home, took care of his car and other belongings, and did his own kin-keeping (you know, regular phone calls, Christmas gifts for nibblings, etc). Secondly he was able to take care of living things other than himself. In his case a pair of tabby cats. Again, he showed he could do all the work: vet visits were timely, good diet, clean kitty box, pet sitter arrangement…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/03/20 06:16 PM
2	What are critical expectations to set early on? E.g. The most high value way to respond when a man suggests a coffee date instead of a real date etc. The first time things go wrong, like you get lost or stuck in traffic or it rains on your trip to six flags. Watch how upset he gets (is it proportional? If this is 2/10 mad will you be safe when he's 10/10 mad) and which way he points that anger.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/03/20 07:19 PM
3	"Trad" pickme says she'd even accept a silicone engagement ring and that OP oughtn't expect to have a say in her ring. Turns out she's a forever girlfriend! A 12-24mo engagement isn't an FDS "thing" but, personally, I think an engaged lady should take the time she needs to have the wedding she wants (which you pointed out may nessesitate a longer engagement these days), and that the man trying to hurry her would be a big red flag. Just like a man dragging his feet would be. I had a 14mo engagement because I wanted a fall wedding but my husband proposed in September; I didn't want a rush job, we have the rest of forever to be married. Of course, we h…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/02/20 08:54 PM
6	"Trad" pickme says she'd even accept a silicone engagement ring and that OP oughtn't expect to have a say in her ring. Turns out she's a forever girlfriend! I looked at the ring. It really is beautiful. He should buy it for you for your birthday or Christmas.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/02/20 08:46 PM
2	"Trad" pickme says she'd even accept a silicone engagement ring and that OP oughtn't expect to have a say in her ring. Turns out she's a forever girlfriend! I think those 6mo engagements came from the fact that babies tend to show up about 7-8 months after that missed period. Lol. I like the more modern approach here.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/02/20 08:22 PM
17	"Trad" pickme says she'd even accept a silicone engagement ring and that OP oughtn't expect to have a say in her ring. Turns out she's a forever girlfriend! Opals aren't very hard. Beautiful but maybe not right for an engagement ring. Something to consider if you haven't already. Sapphire comes in many colors and is very hard and durable.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/02/20 08:19 PM
-4	Psychopath Test Wha..? The internet (which is full of men) loves cats.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/02/20 02:54 PM
16	Making this thread to prove male shallowness: What physical features you have no control over has a man criticized on you before? Normal female human anatomy. There's a "dip" where your hip meets your thigh (right where a modest pair of briefs would wrap around your leg). Its more pronounced on women with buff or chubby thighs.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/02/20 09:45 PM
24	I’m starting to worry that most HVM are off the market by their late 20s I do think a lot of the good men are snapped up in their mid to late 20s. Not all. And some shitty ones are taken (and will be released again around 30) too. But I do think its important for a woman who wants a family to take her search seriously from 20 or so on. No fuckbois, no matter how "fun". But again, not all the good guys are taken. Keep being awesome, vetting ruthlessly, and being you. You'll find someone wonderful.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/02/20 12:37 AM
2	Start a thread of FDS-friendly books, cartoons, and TV shows for kids Daniel Tiger / Mr Rogers's Neighborhood. Especially for little boys.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/02/20 11:03 PM
1	Why do women believe they should hide their husbands toxic abusive behavior from their children? Because 1. Children are immature and self-centered, they litterally believe the world revolves around them. As such they are very prone to believing their parents ralationship issues are their fault. 2. If we're talking real abuse it is literally legally considered child abuse to expose the child to that and can be grounds for removal by CPS.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/02/20 11:26 PM
3	This Subreddit is so valuable to late-diagnosed women with Autism/Asperger's Syndrome <3 Maybe read Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Backer (not sure on that spelling). I'm sure it would have some ideas.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/02/20 04:01 PM
6	In 2020, the pickmes are... uh, I guess bragging about how their husbands never wear their wedding bands? I don't wear mine very often these days. Its beautiful with lots of little diamonds and engraving. I'm a SAHM with two little boys, one still in diapers. I don't want to get it filthy with mud, baby shit, or kitchen yuck. So it stays put away except when I'm going out. My husband doesn't wear his for similar reasons plus he works in a factory, so not safe at work and not sanitary at home. We had silicone rings, but they didn't hold up well to the abuse and at some point we stopped being concerne…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/02/20 12:54 AM
3	Gather 'round the fire, sisters, and I shall spin for you the tale of The Meat Guy (or, the worst date I've ever been on) We eat keto(ish), so I'm familiar with these zero carb loons. Just thinking about it gives me a tummy ache.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	17/02/20 12:46 AM
19	Men do not get attached through sex - Make them work for you if you want to create love, dependence, attachment, commitment It's good to remember that it's not just men who fall in love through giving care. Its us women too. Mother nature made us humans this way to make sure babies are loved, all they do is need and take! But we sure do love the little monsters. I think this system is what often gets co-oped by abusive and immature men. You should give more care to yourself than you do a man. And you should insist men give you (and babies when the time comes) lots of care, because that's how we all fall in love.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/02/20 12:50 PM
6	Has any dude that says he “speaks sarcasm” ever turned out to be HV? My husband, who I think is a good guy, had something cringy like that in his OLD profile (11 years ago). I gave him a chance and it worked out. So can they? Yes. But, like the other ladies said, he may be one of those assholes that will insult you and then backtrack with "take a joke, babe". If he pulls that in the first 3-6mo, he's shitty and/or stupid; just leave him. They are on their best behavior then, and ought to know you don't insult ladies.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/02/20 01:29 PM
9	Effectively broke it off with a great guy I've been seeing... Legally you can't "donate" sperm like this. He is fathering a child. Unless and until a step-parent adoption for the non-bio mom goes through he will be legally/financially responsible. It's been an issue for people that create families like this several times now, particularly if the biological mother puts the baby on Medicaid.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/02/20 11:02 PM
2	Has anyone ever experienced the princess diaries glow up Good luck! For me, I love my glasses. Wearing Jimmy Choo frames these days 👓	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/02/20 05:58 PM
3	Has anyone ever experienced the princess diaries glow up I don't know if you've already looked into this, but if you have some money to throw around you can get lenses made from an ultra high refractive index polymer that will be much slimmer.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/02/20 02:24 PM
6	I am dying! Which one of yall made this mod for the sims 4? I loved sims 2, but never upgraded to sims 4... but please does this personality trait make sims more attracted to "non committal" sims?!!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/02/20 12:34 PM
5	Marriage Dynamics-- can they be broken? Have you read anything by the Gottmans? It's not really FDS, but they did dedicate their careers to answering this exact question.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/02/20 06:14 PM
1	Finding the balance between truth vs hope with men Ot does. Sounds like you gave the guy(s) several chances. Maybe he is a great guy, just not the right guy for you. I like "slightly pushover" men, but that's just me. I wasn't looking for a man to sweep me off my feet, I wanted one who recognized me as a queen and wanted to carry my train 👸But you should get what you want 💋	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/02/20 01:07 PM
54	When you realize that true self love makes the difference in dating Told you you're not like other girls? Told you he is disinterested in women after she sleeps with him. Ditch the misogynistic creep and find an actual HVM, this man has shown he has poor character.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/02/20 12:47 AM
1	‘Make me feel better about not trying’ Starter Pack But that's not what dad bod was supposed to mean, it was supposed to mean buff but not cut; weight lifting and pizza. https://www.theodysseyonline.com/dad-bod	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/02/20 08:19 PM
2	Finding the balance between truth vs hope with men So as I see it the important thing is to love yourself more than you love the man. Even if he's your husband. And keep your chin up. There are probably thousands of men in your general vicinity, and you only have to find one that is a good man and right for you if you want to marry. As for not finding the men you attract attractive, maybe dig into that a bit. Are they really all ugly or is it more that there is no spark/chemistry? I didn't feel any chemistry with my now-husband on our first date…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/02/20 07:58 PM
14	Stop 👏 having 👏 babies 👏 with 👏 LVM! In a lot of the threads like this, that's exactly what the comments say. But, often, the OP is litterally afraid the baby will come to harm if she leaves him/her with dad.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/02/20 06:04 PM
15	They even recognize it! Personally, back in my single days, I paid and ghosted.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/02/20 05:13 PM
87	It's okay to not want to "try new things" in bed. Just because he likes it doesn't mean you have to. My husband likes whiskey, I don't; when we drink we each have what we like. Same deal with the bum bum stuff.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/02/20 04:23 PM
14	Just been thinking about how males treated me when i was ugly and fat compared to how they treat me now...! Seriously, this is why I like being my size. I have a friend who is much slimmer, but still soft and curvy (which is, of course, how many women are supposed to be shaped) and she will litterally have random scrotes approach her and say, "you'd be hot if you lost 10lbs". Those kinds of LVM just pretend I don't exist, which suits me as I wish they didn't.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/02/20 02:28 PM
26	Friendships Between Men And Women I think men and women are raised with different understandings of friendship. Most guys understand a friend as someone you do stuff with. Most girls understand friendship as a platonic but intimate and loving relationship. When a girl tries to have a male "girl friend" he can get very confused and think he's a boyfriend. My opinion/experience is that some men make fine friends as long as you are a "boy friend" to them (no deep intimacy) and they have other women in their lives who do provide tha…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/02/20 03:27 PM
78	Stop Calling Men "HVM" after two or three dates 👆👆 My opinion on this is that women need to hold out for a good man if she wants a husband and father for her future kids. A good man is a man with compatible values. Most men go bald, shitty men can buy roses, but stuff like integrity and work ethic are harder to fake and don't suddenly change. A lot of the "HVM" traits discussed here are superficial things that suggest -- but only suggest! -- he could be a good man; like a good job: did he bust his butt (work ethic) or did daddy hook him up? A…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/02/20 10:16 PM
9	After the depressing thread on HVM in cities - A general discussion on where to find good HVM. Mine was raised dirt poor in rural GA. No internet until college, lots of butt whoopins, and lots of farm chores. Lots of church too, though he left that faith. He decided as a kid that he would do whatever it took to escape poverty and farm chores (why? idk, maybe HV is partially DNA? maybe his Mom needs more credit? His sister also escaped, but lots of his cousins stayed stuck in poverty.). Luckily for him he lived in GA (hope scholarship), so he busted his ass in school and went to GA Tech to…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/02/20 07:10 PM
31	Boyfriend of 2 years said he doesn't love me Do you have any idea how common it is on the parenting subreddits to hear that men don't love infants (only older kids)? So... yeah 🙅‍♀️	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/02/20 02:20 PM
87	Working as a Postpartum Nurse has raised my standards tenfold. Here’s why. Maybe this explains the pp nurse who fussed over my husband after our second was born. We both found the interaction super awkward. So baby2 had been born the afternoon before, and after going home to check on things and sleep (baby slept in the nursery, so both he and I got a full night's sleep) he was back at the hospital hanging out with us. We were watching TV and baby was asleep in my husband's arms. The nurse comes in and sees this and just gushes about what a good daddy my husband is, and…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/02/20 01:15 PM
41	Whyyyyyyy Because they were raised to believe a woman's value exists only in service to men. Ie single women are obviously worthless rejects, so being with a shitty guy is better than being alone.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/02/20 01:52 PM
2	Y’all get ready, lurkers are coming to FDS, again. My husband sometimes want to know what reddit thing I'm giggling at. He got a real kick out of that tweet posted here of the guy complaining that the girl he brought home didn't clean.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/01/20 06:15 PM
24	Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 29th 2020) He probably just swipes yes on everyone. Don't over think it.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	30/01/20 12:43 PM
8	Enough said Shit keeps me up at night, honestly. I have 2 sons, and one is autistic. I knew multiple families where mom and dad were lawyers/doctors/engineers and their son was a fortnight addict about to flunk 3rd grade for being illiterate (and the daughter was in like competitive dance and softball with straight As)	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/01/20 03:49 PM
17	Enough said My mom runs a summer camp, we actually see that a lot. HVM and HVW marry and have kids that end up HVW and LVM. For some reason the moms over coddle the sons and they go rotten. Dad doesn't intercede (maybe workaholic? Or maybe pushed out by mom?). With the girls moms bust their chops and dad spoils, but it seems to balance out ok.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/01/20 02:53 PM
29	What "Wife-y" things do you avoid doing? I think the most important one is to never sacrifice your (non-relationship) life goals for a boyfriend (or guy you're dating). If he wants her to put "us" before "her" then he can put a diamond ring and half his shit on the line. That said, I like cooking for people. I cooked for for guys fairly often in my single days. But cooking together as a date is different than the daily food slinging I do for my family now. That is total wife/mommy shit, and way less fun; don't do that for a boyfriend.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/01/20 10:09 PM
14	Just Forever Girlfriend Things ❤️ Agreed. The Gottmans are great. Their stuff can make you a better boss/coworker/friend/parent, not just a better SO.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/01/20 09:52 PM
2	How do you find meaning after building your whole life around one day settling down with a man? You can find that. Those guys are out there, I know, I'm married to one. Just stay focused and merciless in your search.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	24/01/20 01:57 PM
4	have any of you been dumped by a guy over minor thing? Honey, a BMI of 23-25 is a healthy weight. The LVMs are gaslighting/negging/being shitty to you.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/01/20 06:32 PM