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View 4 posts and 104 comments by ramad84 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
28

ramad84/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 07:28 PM
11

ramad84/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 05:54 PM
8

ramad84/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 11:17 PM
5

ramad84/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 07:17 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

the custody consilliator at my hearing made the comment "of course you only brought the good photos to show" 🤦‍♂️ trials are the only fair setting
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 12:10 PM
7

i had a lady post my photo to one of these pages before our first date. wtf
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 04:04 AM
2

im curious what advice is out there - im im a similar boat. my ex has no problem telling the courts i cant support 50-50 even though week on and week off would be ideal for my schedule
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 10:29 PM
8

you should file for divorce - your wife is acting against your interest. shes probably hiding money, documenting things you do that look bad in court, and takking to lawyers about how to best set herself up for when she files.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 12:16 PM
11

fight for 50 50 no matter what. you can make informal arrangments with your ex to give up time but its very hard to get extra time later
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 09:22 PM
5

sorry dude. Just know that whats good for you has nothing to do what hurts or helps her. get her out of your head - just focus on improving your position (financially, health wise, social fun experiences) and eventually youll stop thinking about her altogether
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 04:31 PM
1

you miss 100% of the shots you dont take. if you dont have 50-50 then keep taking shots until you make it
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 06:08 PM
4

get a court hearing/trial date on the calendar. dont reply to any emails until that date. magically - just before the court date, agreements will start getting passed around for signature. lawyers dont want to actually go to the courthouse - theyll drag things out until you make them. the most important part - stop replying to every email especially if it doesnt contain an agreement for review or signature
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 06:58 PM
10

it doesnt matter why you get divorced
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 08:20 PM
3

lawyers actually hate going to court even if it gets their clients more. theyd rather not be "judged" by the judge, they score points with judges by not going to trial.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 12:04 AM
6

if you are fully divorced, endorsed by the courts, and the house loan and title has already been transferred to her exclusively, Then none of those homeowners insurance bills are anything that you need to spend another second of your life thinking about. Just make sure you aren't liable if she forecloses or defaults.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:30 PM
11

regret marrying, not divorce
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:36 AM
4

its gonna hurt, but the longer you wait the more it hurts. check state laws - it hurts alot more after 10 years in some states - lifetime alimony
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 10:11 PM
6

your time is better spent out in the real world trying to chat people up not to say joining for periodic browsing isnt fun and excersizes your imagination - but be prepared for a ton of people that want you to entertain them via text and almost never agree to plans to meet up. basically online dating is like talking to a chatbot nowadays
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 04:22 PM
10

this is very important - you have to say "no" thats it - just "no" if she wont stay with you without alimony - then she wont stay with you with it either
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 10:30 AM
10

dont ever try and guess what they think or why they think it just be you
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 12:15 PM
4

legaly seperated can mean a few different things for me - it was the period of time between the time i filed for divorce and the time that the official divorce settlement agreement became approved by the courts. that process took 2.5 years, but i didnt wait that long to start dating.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 06:14 PM
1

file papers, have her served, dont sign anything less than 50-50. you will be pressured to sign less, even by your own lawyer, but be stubborn and dont. your past is whatever - the present is all that matters. be a good dad - and document it
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 11:29 PM
3

guilt is something you do to yourself. stop it. theres absolutely nothing wrong with divorce, for any reason at all. what truly matters is how you behave during and afterwards. youre not abandoning your kid if you define a custody schedule with them.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 11:08 PM
2

definitly file for custody asap. insist on everything as it was in front of the judge. dont negotiate. it took me about 2 months but i got my ex to move back to my state (i agreed to leave the house in return for 50% legal custody).
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 12:06 PM
6

its not - sorry youre going through this. i hope you are as difficult as can be and fight aggressively within the legal framework to reduce your obligation. some of us give up and just pay.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 01:31 PM
3

yes it did - and it is indeed the date on the paperwork that matters. when i got in front of a judge (emergency custidy hearing took about 3-4 weeks) the judge also put a temporary order in place that my baby wasnt allowed to leave the state until a new custody schedule was established.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 12:26 PM
3

she stayed for weeks at her parents with my 2 month old daughter, and so i had to file for divorce and serve her custody papers via sheriff delivery. my goal was to keep my daughter based in the town i lived. file quickly - every day that passes establishes a new status quo.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 05:50 AM
6

if shes a friend - then see if she introduces you to her other female friends. im guessing she wont
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 03:50 AM
19

dont ever trust them with your feelings. i was way too honest with my ex wife, i thought she was a partner till the end. in addition to her becoming less attracted to me (for simply feeling those things, not even acting on the feelings) she also later weaponized those feelings against me, either making me feel bad about them or threatening me with the exact fears i told her i had.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 03:52 PM
11

she hated me and i put up with it for too long. then she took our daughter to her parents and wouldnt say when she was coming back so i had to serve her custody papers and divorce papers at the same time
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 01:58 AM
2

If you did that you would be old and senile before you knew it. Embrace the suck - when you feel depressed and bad dont do any drugs or alcohol, the terrible feeling in your brain is required to motivate yourself to do anything positive about it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 05:16 PM
2

over time you will find that its easier to be happy without the added stress of a partner who doesnt understand you
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 04:50 PM
2

you need to step up your hygiene game - regardless if its for your wife or else new partner. nobody wants to sleep with a bad smelling person. your fighting styles have gone toxic however. a healthy conversation doesnt include threats of divorce. TBD if you can recover - when fighting goes toxic is may be too late. but be prepared for the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 03:17 PM
12

learned how to tell people "no" or just walk away if they arent serving me. no more pleasing people
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 01:42 AM
6

i hope you at least did something special for her bday and she has fun
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 04:20 PM
10

the person you divorce is not the person youre married to. make sure you get bank statements from every account she has. those accounts are half yours. push for 50/50 on both custody and assets - and be willing to go to trial for both. file for court dates - even if you plan to mediate, put a date on the calendar in court to resolve.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:06 PM
3

figuring out what is going on in her head will drive you crazy, do not even try. Stick with your gut, decide on a case by case basis if you want to attend those events, feel free to say no if it's in your peace of mind Don't ever get back together with her for any reason, she could be looking for a way to collect "evidence "that she will use against you in court. Imagine, getting an innocent beer with dinner, one bad photograph and all of a sudden you're a violent alcoholic according to her lawy…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 01:34 PM
4

she will say or do anything to feel like she still has control or influence over you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 09:18 PM
1

37 - married 6 years
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 06:12 PM
5

custody hearings are your friend. i wouldnt have access to my daughter at all if i had not requested 3 of them. each time i get more and more time with her
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 10:43 PM
2

once a divorce complaint is filed neither parent can move the kids without the others approval or accomodation. you need to file before she dissapears with them. this is very important
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 09:33 PM
12

it took my divorce 2.5 years to complete. wasnt gonna wait that long to start dating.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 05:07 PM
1

Divorce is not from one reason usually. its a combination of a bunh of things that slowly grows this feeling in your gut that says you need to escape, no matter the consequences. your survival instincts are kicking in and you stop being entirely rational.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 05:31 PM
15

dont sign her papers without a lawyer. read it very very carefully yourself first. they usually hide a sentance thats very damning somewhere in the middle of very boring text
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 10:13 PM
6

in public im guessin its ok. in PA, my lawyer told me i cant film pickups and dropoffs with my daughter at her house, even tho she has security cameras setup. she would routinely slam the door or be hostile until i started filming (blatently). then her lawyer threatened me with harrasment. crazy exs get away with everything
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 06:50 PM
3

girlfriend wants to be a part of the mundane things like grocery shopping and child sports and stuff. I get that - and saw us headed there. im enjoying my first solo apartment after living with my parents after divorce - and will want to buy a house again. the house i buy will be my own, nobody else on the title/mortgage, because thats how i guarantee my daughters stability and increase chances of winning a move-away case my ex may try to pull off. getting booted out of the marital home where my…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 02:56 PM
2

in pennsylvania they have something called "equitable distribution". apparently that means my lower earning ex is entitled to more than 50% of our assets. the judge said she recommends a 48/52 split because of the short marriage - it could be worse than that if the judge feels like it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 11:01 AM
3

I told her Im committed, and I had no interest in cheating or even pursuing other girls. but i think shes grown to resent my decision, and by her own admission shes gotten a little bit mean and so is choosing to break it off. Im just sad it has to be that way. I cant tell if i need therapy to change or this is just the way its going to be going forward. In my head, the lack of "chains" like living together or a marriage contract makes our relationship more beautifull as its a choice we both make…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 01:25 AM
2

I hope youre wrong, but my experience matches with your assessment.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 01:19 AM
6

i wish i filed for a trial immediately in the process. the trail might cost a few thousand by the end - but there are people here that have had $100k+ divorces because they didnt file for a trial and just kept arguing for years about everything with no resolution. once a trial is on the calendar - stop all communication with your lawyer until the court date.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 12:01 PM
5

The more you focus on yourself and happier you get you will find they start to become attracted to you. at some point youll make a friend who will want more of your time, attention, and/or money and you will have to set boundaries. dont let them guilt you into making a choice you will regret.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 08:16 PM
15

make sure the divorce is absolutely final and youre financially in the clear. after that - do whatever you want with no legal obligations to anyone. she cant have her cake and eat it too
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 12:51 PM
16

i learned this lesson quickly - if you truly believe your opponent is unreasonable demand a trial and stop talking to lawyers until the date of the trial. lawyers LOVE to spend hours talking about things with no clear authority to resolve them. they also hate going to court because there is a winner and a loser - and the winner doesnt really get anything and the loser gets a ding on their record or reputation demand a trial and stop negotiating with terrorists
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 12:13 AM
7

i call that "whipping up a batch of guilt stew". women are experts at it, if you want to stay with her train your brain to feel comfortable to let her words roll off you, i sometimes tell myself "thats just some women shit". if shes over it in 5 minutes it wasnt anything important anyway. if she harps on it for weeks and brings it up later you gotta get out of there.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 12:16 PM
2

"soulshine". allman brothers, covered by govt mule
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 10:48 PM
5

im in a similar boat - not really any penalty for just removing funds. just be careful if you sell stocks - those capital gains taxes are half your exs to pay. if theyre losses just take them yourself and let her lawyer try to pry them back.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 09:13 PM
3

focus more on getting whats best for you - not any thought to what benefits your ex. if youre not disagreeing on the price who cares if she buys you out or you split the sale? as far as the kids go - if she does move someplace else, be prepared to challenge her new address if its further away. kids not talking to you is a bad sign
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 10:16 PM
4

nobody after 10 years says "my divorce is going terribly"
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 09:31 PM
3

if you have and earn more then they actually might be inclined to give her more than 50/50. the saying is true: A woman sees 50/50 as a defeat.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 02:24 PM
5

I found the financial impact more damaging and severe than the emotional impact. all i can say is there is no silver bullet. focus on as much time with your kids as possible, which also reduces chuld support. also - if you can earn any income through an LLC (like perhaps rental property) do that, because its possible to deduct or invest profits in such a way as to not count as income. ive been divorced 2 years and have already dragged my ex wife back to court in order to recalculate support numb…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 02:14 PM
4

not done yet. she is likely to get 52% of everything because "equitable" distribution
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 06:18 PM
1

i have not found my woman lawyer to be helpful. she is always wanting me to settle for less and less time with my kids. she has no fight in her at all, and getting her to file custody modifications is like pulling teeth
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 04:31 PM
5

youre on a site where divorce was the only option remaining. in general - if its ever going to happen in your lifetime, its probably best to get it over with earlier rather than later
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 11:01 PM
1

just file dude. you dont need that uncertainty
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 12:27 PM
7

youre winning so hard. do not engage or speak to her affiliates
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 01:05 PM
1

wives see people that seek divorce as a toxic threat, as if it is contageous. if they have a divorced fried they cut her out too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 11:35 AM
3

sounds like youve misrepresented yourself. you gotta come clean sooner or later. if you see a future with her, than you owe her an immediate apology and correction. if it helps - spinning it as a positive thing and not a negative helps. other people will feed off your emotion positive or negative.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 07:51 PM
12

you define yourself - not your spouse or child. dont make the mistake i did and harbor resentment internally - it will make you bitter. if you need some space than take it - dont slowly push somebody way overntime as it makes enemies out of loved ones
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:00 PM
14

dude - get the divorce over with. she already checked out, you need to protect yourself
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 08:23 PM
4

you need to get her out of your head. It sounds like you moved away to get away from her, not for something about yourself. if you move back its because your job wants you there. thats about you. what your ex does and where she lives and with who has no relevance to your future. stop making it part of your decision making process
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:08 PM
3

i do what i think is best. ex wives somehow are experts at misinformation. - dont trust anything they tell you, even seemingly unimportant things. your gut said to start pottytraining - follow your gut.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 08:03 PM
6

spouse i dont miss at all. i miss the financial freedom of having access to my income
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 02:12 PM
8

i told my doctor once i either need some depression pills or a divorce. he laughed and said trying the pills was a much cheaper option. turns out the divorce was what i needed
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 02:10 PM
1

get 50/50 on paper first - and then attempt to use as much of it as you can. its better to get what youre entitled to and willingly give back than to not go for it at all. once theyre with you - you have a responsibility to help them grow to enjoy it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 06:08 PM
1

i looked into doin this just just prior to divorce. my ex brought it up very negatively in custody hearing - and even though its legal the judge and all the lawyers thought very negatively of it (the term "special k" and "k-hole" got thrown around alot. i know its legal and legit - but its not mainstream and wont score you points with anyone. my saving grace was that i hadnt gone through with it - and so it was just another allegation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 01:35 PM
15

take all the on-paper custody you can get. after youve got it in a court order - then you can choose to share the time as you want, but if you dont grab all the on-paper custody days while you can then its almost impossible to get it later.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 08:11 PM
3

pay for your own home and comfort first. your kids benefit from that - and they should be asking your ex to contribute to things like their cars and future. either way - the process is not friendly to you, so dont make it harder on yourself. if you find any ways to pay less to the ex please let us know. the financial devastation is way worse than the emotional pain, and lasts much longer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 05:43 PM
13

divorcing for lack of sex isnt a crime.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 12:52 PM
1

marriage under contract should be abolished. its not real, its an artificial construct that is designed to be manipulated
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:10 PM
13

youre in the place where we all got burned. just dont sign the contract, just dont.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 10:06 PM
2

quit the mental gymnastics. not getting married is the best protection. you can still put her name on the house - her name on car - her name on accounts... but when you get married it just makes every single little thing a grey area for lawyers to fight over just dont sign the legal contract of marriage. take it from us who learned a lesson
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 03:56 PM
11

dont open yourself up to the risk a relationship is not changed by involving legal documents into it
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 01:59 AM
1

do not recommend. besides the psychological reasons - the "date of seperation" is a legal date of importance for when your finances are considered seperate. engaging in marital relations may push out or reset the date of seperation so that she is entitled to your recent earnings. start your own bank account - seperate financially - and you also may want to send a written letter explaining you consider yourself legally seperated at this point in time
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 11:36 PM
3

yes its a waste. i suffered through it for years before i realized i didnt have to go
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 03:00 AM
8

if you arent sure when youll see your kids you need to serve her with custody papers immediately. dont move out unless theres a custody order in place
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 06:02 AM
11

that part about rough sex and then accusation of sexual assault is bad news - you need to get away from that now before she tricks you into doing something that will get you in trouble shes egging you on and then using your reaction against you - you need to exit that dynamic by creating distance
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 11:32 PM
1

hurting your ex is not the same thing as benefiting yourself focus on improving your own position - pretend as if she doesnt exist
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 01:13 PM
2

you sound like you should learn to say "No" a bit more. you gotta set boundaries - and stop giving your kids to your ex on your custodial time. you have a right to be free from her
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 12:35 AM
2

she cant manipulate you if you just say "no"
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 01:02 AM
40

just get divorced. dont care about what others think about you. it only gets more expensive the longer you wait
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 07:55 PM
6

explain that you do not agree to any financial commitments - if she wants to foot the bill she can, otherwise you cannot afford those payments. f you want your kids to join those activities then offer to share costs 50/50 dont negotiate - say what you are going to do or not do
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 03:56 PM
1

youre in an unhealthy spot- you need to be legally seperated for long term health. dont equate sex and love - filing for divorce was the correct path, but some courts see having sex as "marital relations" which might complicate the process
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 11:34 AM
1

if you find out how now to get taken advantage of please share. i recommend fighting against anything if tou can afford it - this "temporary" support you have to pay has turned into 2 years and counting for me. my ex has no reason to settle because shes not going to get alimony but this Alimony Pendende Lite just keeps on costing me
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 12:38 AM
2

coming to terms with the financial costs which can be endless and ongoing for many years and are totally out of your control
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 10:52 PM
1

when she boldly admits she loves you but hasnt filed for divorce, its because shes using you. she wants you to pay her bills and babysit - but she doesnt respect you as an individual enough to let you go (legally). file for divorce - its not easy but thats what its there for
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 07:31 PM
1

yeah - social pressure bullied into it. i dont know why people marry a second time
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 01:34 AM
5

there is a conflict of interest between you and your attorney when it comes to making a settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 01:39 PM
1

shes a grown up. the law will make him pay, and alot, what "looks" good doesnt matter in divorce. that being said - in dealing with a high conflict divorce - there are certainly benefits of having things settled more amicably. the only way to get her to go get a job is to cut off giving her free money.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 05:57 PM
7

tell him to stop paying for anything that isnt court ordered. a judge will indeed take away an unreasonable portion of his earnings and give it to her - but this is the part where he needs to fight for every penny. its better to let a judge take it than negotiate away more than you haveto
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 09:07 PM
2

i find that i prefer to play multiplayer games online with people i know - and with a headset to chat with them. more social than anything
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 04:26 AM
4

seperation date determines when assets you earn or accumulate are shared versus seperate. if she can show youre living together and having marital relations, it extends the length of the marriage for asset division or alimony award.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 11:02 AM
11

just fyi- youll pay less in divorce if you dont have an income if you need to go back to work - do it after the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:14 AM
6

alot poorer, but escaped an abusive unpredictable life with somebody who created more work and stress for me all the time
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 01:14 PM
1

move someplace because theres a good reason you are chasing. dont move just to run from your problems.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:30 PM
7

hold your ground- come up with a number of additional reasons, and dont tell her what they are until in the trial. she has to do the moving here - youre just on the defensive
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 04:46 AM
1

yeah - i agree that going to a scheduled "hearing" is the best route with a difficult ex. doesnt have to be a trial - the hearing officer will generally go with the least unusual routine. if you live closeby and have been consistently parenting hopefully theyll give you 50/50 - and if not wait a few months and try again i dunno about pro se costs - but with an attorney it costs me about $2k but its worth not being forced to negotiate or beg a terrorist to see my kid
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 12:01 PM
3

your ex sounds like the type of person who needs to be dealt with in court. get a date scheduled and dont negotiate any more
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 02:47 PM
1

my marriage deteriorated after 3 years of IVF - and now that it finally succeeded my wife is consulting a lawyer no legal action yet but i am fantasizing about moving out and blocking her number
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 10:52 AM
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