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ramboton Archive

View 2 posts and 120 comments by ramboton on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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9

She has a history of various part time jobs and unemployment. She tends to find a job and enjoy it for a few years. Then she gets dissatisfied and starts to sabotage herself until she quits or gets fired. It always boils down to not getting along with management "they are out to get me". This is one of the major issues in our marriage, I have told her that she is not a partner but a dependent who wants me to take care of her. This has made separation very difficult as she also can't manage money…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 02:57 PM
7

Why are you mad at him, why confront him. Your wife is the one who made a commitment to you and thinks this is ok, she is the one who does not care about your feelings. She is the one to confront.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 02:38 AM
1

I am right there with you. We separated for 2 years, she has her own apartment. But she wants to get back together, I do not. She was pushing me for an answer before xmas, but I did not want to destroy xmas with arguments. She stayed at my house to see the kids (21 year old twins that live with me) My new years resolution is to let her know it is time to file the paperwork and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 07:00 AM
3

I got lucky, I have twin girls age 21, and they are very close to me. They hate their mother. Another issue I struggled with is that I am now 62 years old. It makes it harder finding a new person to finally be happy with. I should have gotten out years ago, my wife cheated on me just before we had the twins and I thought having kids would fix the relationship, it does not. 25 years of marriage down the drain.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:38 PM
7

I waited until my kids were over 19, which was the worst thing I ever did. We, (the kids and I) endured the torture that they call mom for too many years. Now I tell anyone who asks, if you are not happy get out now. Do not wait.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:29 PM
12

If you did not catch her, it would have gone physical. I caught mine, she said she would quit talking to him. I caught her again a few months later and they were discussing meeting up (he lived several states away) Get out now while you can.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:50 AM
4

I have a travel trailer and I have been wanting to take it somewhere....alone...now I do not feel so bad, I think it is a pretty good idea.....
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 01:01 AM
15

When I met my wife she was a Nurses Aide, had straight A's in school. She told me she was going to go to school to be a nurse. That all changed after marriage and kids to the point where she would not work at all and did nothing until I finally divorced her. She never went to school and could never hold a job for more than 3 months. Then was too depressed to work at all.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 01:07 AM
8

I have 21 year old twin girls. Not only have they stood behind my decision to have my wife move out, but they elected to stay with me. We have a fantastic relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 02:44 AM
3

but you would think he knows one who does, rather than ask a bunch of unknowns on reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 02:37 PM
2

I am in a similar situation, The wife moved out 6 months ago after 23 years of marriage. I have not filed yet only because we agreed to do it after the holidays, we have a friendly separation. I got on an app, a woman matched with me, we chatted, she is 45 I am 60. I told her where I was in life that I had not filed yet and I wanted to take things slow. She agreed, she has been divorced for 5-6 years and has the kids every other week, she also has a good relationship with her ex. Then the other …
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 06:39 AM
12

This..... One of the reasons I am divorcing because for the last 15 years she has refused to work, or she would get a job, work a few months and quit or get fired. 6 months ago we agreed to a separation, she moved 2 hours away, got a job and is doing so well that they have given her a raise and are talking about making her a manager after the first of the year. I asked her why could not have done that when we were together, she said "I don't know..."
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 04:33 AM
1

Thank you, and yes, my twin girls are 20 years old, they had their choice and chose me, they are actually happy that mom is gone. When I talk about the things that mom did to me, one of my daughters says, no it is what mom did to us......
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 05:35 PM
2

yea, I really do not know what to say. My first was my highschool sweetheart, we were married for 7 years and had 3 kids, early in the marriage she found that drugs were fun, and I fought it the whole time. She also was seeing other people at the same time (maybe for drugs) but I refused to "see it" at the time, but as I look back there is no doubt in my mind. 2 was a woman I lived with for 5 years, met online, I was trying to take it slow, she wanted to move in to the same apartment complex so …
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 05:23 PM
2

lol
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 05:03 PM
0

wait you want her to be "loyal and not lie", every woman I have had a relationship with has cheated on me, lied and taken advantage of my money, I am starting to think that the ones who do not do those things are not available. I mean think about it, I am 60, a women at this age is single because she cheated, he cheated or he died. That makes for a difficult ratio.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 04:59 PM
1

yea, I live in a 4000 sq mile county that has 400k people, seems like the same dozen women in my age group are on all dating apps. At this point I am not willing to drive an hour or more to meet someone, but that may change as I continue to get zero......
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 04:56 PM
4

that is easy if you are not an introvert, I find it very difficult to make first contact. Although I did attempt at the grocery store and bombed miserably, but of course if you don't try then nothing happens. It went like this Me to store clerk - Jennifer, I like that name I have a daughter named Jennifer Store clerk - oh, in a weird tone Me to store clerk - well have a nice day
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 04:53 PM
8

You forgot about the ones who's photos are in a bar or at a sporting event, with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. Or the ones who post a photo with someone else and you are not sure which one is the OP, then finally the ones who have a picture of the beach and no picture of themselves.......
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 04:50 PM
6

I have been married twice (I am 60 years old) The first marriage we had 3 children, the wife developed a drug problem and we divorced after 7 years. I continued to raise my 3 kids. My 2nd marriage lasted 23 years, we had twin girls who chose to live with me instead of mom. So in my mind the pain and suffering was worth the fact that I had 5 great kids to are thankful that I was there for them.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 02:57 PM
1

I considered telling her I was gay and that is why I wanted a divorce (I am not) I figured she would run and stay away from me if I did that........but I didn't do it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 10:59 PM
4

much better now that she is gone, for me the kids were over 18 and decided to live with me, i think that shows something.....
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 02:44 PM
13

sounds like you dodged a bullet, imagine she married you then divorced and took 1/2 of everything....
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 05:51 AM
5

yep, 23 years of marriage, she cheated on me, ran up credit cards, refused to work, and I get to pay her $2300 per month for the rest of my life....ug
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 12:25 AM
7

I wrote out all the reasons that I wanted a divorce, whenever I think I want her back I read the list......
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 03:21 AM
2

It is not just corporate it can be any job, if you spend 8 hours a day with your coworker you are spending more time with them than your spouse and become attracted
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:12 AM
7

1 - I feel like people do not take enough time getting to know each other before getting married, more like hey I like you, lets have sex, why not get married. I am guilty of this and next time it will be "lets be friends first so I can learn who you are" 2 - do not ignore the warning signs or red flags. In the first 6 months of our marriage my wife cheated on me, it was an internet relationship, not in person, but it hurts the same. Basically I let it slide because I was embarrassed to tell my …
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 05:18 AM
13

NOPE! When I got married my wife was working and going to school to become a nurse. When she figured out that we could survive on my salary, she decided that nursing was too much work. Then she took on a government job did that for a short time and quit it also. Did nothing for a few years claiming depression, then spent the next 10 years jumping from one part time job to another.........Now after 23 years we are separated and I get to pay her $2k per month for the rest of my life......
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 04:06 AM
2

but you do not know she was or was not tested, neither do I........we are just people on the internet sharing information, we have no idea what the truth really is.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 11:37 PM
3

Who knows what happened 7 years ago in this person's world? Did someone take a blood draw and not test it, did someone mix the results with someone else, did someone fail to tell her the results, did they tell her and she is lying about it? there are 1000 scenarios that none of us know the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:46 PM
4

i am not a doctor and I do not know a lot about HIV, but I do know how to google..... North Texas Health Services says - When a person unknowingly contracts HIV, he or she may live for up to 10 – 15 years before ever developing symptoms or finding out they have the virus. So it is possible it happened before she met you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:00 PM
8

Well I was lucky enough to stay until my kids were 20 years old. (We have twin girls) The wife agreed to move out and my girls wanted to stay with me. While it involved several unhappy years, I feel it was worth the investment in my girls. They see and understand why I wanted a divorce and they have supported me though the whole thing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 12:31 AM
2

yea, she has already told me her two fears are 1, when I tell her she can't come over anymore and 2, when I start seeing someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 05:54 PM
5

For us it was the other way around, I made the decision years ago that once the kids were adults I would leave. In the last 3 years I paid off 30k in debt so that I could afford to pay her alimony. She did agree to separation, but she was not planning for it, I was.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 06:00 PM
8

Yes, some of them are also human just like we are. Last month my wife and I agreed to separate after 23 years. She agreed to leave. Without thinking she grabbed an apartment in a nicer town about 2 hours away. We have twin daughters 20 years old, who decided to stay with me to go to college. It did not take long for my wife to start crying about how lonely she is and she does not have any friends there and no job and nothing to do. Luckily for her we do not hate each other we just agreed that ou…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 05:58 PM
5

While it was miserable I think it was worth it. I could not stand the thought of leaving when they were little and having someone else raise my kids. It is obvious when they chose to stay with me that I made the right decision to raise them myself.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 04:52 PM
5

6 months into our marriage she cheated. It was not a physical relationship, it was someone 2k miles away on the internet, but it was photos, sexting, phone sex etc., but the hurt is the same. At first I was too embarrassed to admit that our marriage had only lasted 6 months, so we discussed it and moved on. She did it again 2 more times in 3 years. Then she became pregnant with twins (no doubt that they are mine as they look like my kids from my first marriage) The first few years with the kids …
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 02:49 PM
4

Mine are a little older at 20 years old, but living at home and going to college. Twin girls. My girls actually encourage me to leave my wife. I actually talked her in to leaving and getting her own apartment. I considered divorce earlier but I am glad I waited because I have a fantastic relationship with my girls. They do not miss mom and do not feel sorry for her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 02:17 AM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 12:22 AM
2

good info, Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:06 PM
1

no savings/IRA the only real thing we have is the equity in the house. I figure if she pushes, and wants half the equity, then I will push back and give her half the debt.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 03:07 PM
4

I wish you would tell my work wife/soccer wife this, because I have been trying with no luck......lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 03:12 AM
7

I am 60, my biggest fear is not finding someone new. Is it better to stay with someone who is really not that bad, but I am not in love with, or risk spending the rest of my life alone? At my age the good options are less, are they out there? yes, but there are less of them. A good friend of mine was on his own for 10 years before he found someone new.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:27 AM
0

yes, they are, 21, both have jobs, go to school and volunteer to coach soccer and are board members on the soccer board. So they are intelligent enough to make their own decisions, so I will have to get an apartment big enough for them and me....lol...
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 09:37 PM
4

I am with you at 23 years. I should have divorced 20 years ago but I stayed for my kids. Experts always say don't stay for the kids, but honestly I think it was worth it. I have two beautiful twin daughters who love me and are taking my side, telling me I should leave and that I deserve to be happy. When the kids take dad's side over mom's, she must really be the problem....I have not filed yet but I am in the planning stages, getting my finances in order so that I can afford to pay alimony and …
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 08:23 AM
3

Live is what you make of it. If you two can put your feelings aside and get along, it is better for everyone. When my son got married I walked my ex-wife and my new wife down the isle, one on each arm. It was super awkward for me, but we all got along and it was not a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 12:33 AM
1

That would be a no, sorry for that one.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 04:04 PM
12

An affair can be anything, it does not have to be physical. The dictionary says "an intense amorous relationship." My wife had an internet affair, sexting, pics, videos etc., she tried to down play that he was 1000 miles away, but it hurt just the same.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 03:28 PM
5

In California what she did was a crime, I am sure it is in many other states as well. It is time to get out, I can say this from experience. My wife cheated on me in the first 6 months of our marriage, it was an internet fling, not in person, but video sex, txt, etc. It did not hurt any less. I did not divorce her because I was to ashamed to admit that my marriage had only lasted 6 months. We talked it out, but it happened 3-4 more times in the next few years. Just as I was planning for a divorc…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 03:32 PM
2

"I keep feeling like it's too late to start again." You have all sorts of time, I am 60, and considering divorce, but I am afraid of being alone for the rest of my life.....
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:36 AM
2

Yea, I always say the kids are the only good thing that came out of the marriage. But I have twin 20 year old girls who get along better with me than mom. In fact they have actually told me they would understand if I got divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:02 AM
1

an accident pays out better on the insurance......
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:54 AM
3

Married 23 years, she cheated on me in the first 6 months (internet not physical, phone sex, pics etc, still cheating, still hurts) I was embarrassed to say my marriage only lasted 6 months and so I stayed. it happened a few more times, just as I had enough she got pregnant with twins. The cheating stopped but there was a host of other issues. 20 years later and I have a better relationship with my girls than she does, they have even said that they would understand if I left her. I am still in t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 08:56 AM
22

"How can she be the laziest person on the planet, claim that she doesn’t have to work because I make enough for both of us, contribute next to nothing, " Quit talking about my wife like that......
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 06:53 AM
2

I guess we are so good at being a provider, that they do not need to do anything.....
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:22 PM
1

For the fact that I have an excellent relationship with my daughters, yes it was worth it. We have a total of 7 children, a yours, mine and ours situation. I started raising her daughter when she was 5 (her dad passed before we met), she and I also have an excellent relationship, in fact she chose to have the same career that I had. One time I moved out for a few months, the first thing my wife said was "everyone is going to blame her" so I guess she knows she is the problem. She tells me every …
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 09:43 PM
6

How about the other way around? I stayed for the kids. In the first few years of my marriage my wife cheated on me, the first time I admit I was honestly embarrassed that we did not make it to the 1 year mark without an issue, since it was an internet affair, photos and sexting I gave her another chance. It happened a few more times in the next few years. I was just planning a divorce when she became pregnant with twins. I stayed and the affairs stopped, but over the next 20 years there were all…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 02:28 AM
11

I had an ex who had a stomach staple after she left me. With me she was close to 300 lbs. After the surgery she got down to 140-150 or so and looked pretty good, she got re-married but it only lasted about 5 years. She is now back up to 280 lbs or so.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 01:30 AM
2

Only your own heart can tell you what to do. My wife cheated on me in the first 6 months of marriage, it was online not in person, but sexting and pics etc. It still hurt just as much. I did not divorce because, honestly I was embarrassed that we did not last 6 months. So I stuck it out. It happened 2 or 3 more times over the next few years with the same guy. To the point that I caught her messaging him about meeting up. Just as I was planning for a divorce she got pregnant with twins. No doubt …
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 07:04 PM
1

Mine was over 25 years ago. I was split from my wife and dating a paralegal. She wrote up the paperwork, no access to my retirement, 100% physical custody of the kids, visitation every other weekend. No spouse support. My wife signed it and the court approved. I don't think I will be as lucky the 2nd time, guess I did not learn my lesson.....
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:53 AM
2

Well mine has a reason, of course she has the doctor to say she is on disability and cannot work, even though they cannot find anything wrong with her.....I have to go fold the laundry, I will catch up with you guys later......
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 03:58 PM
8

I have been married over 20 years. In the first 6 months my wife cheated (internet affair, but still an affair) after catching her I considered divorce but found it embarrassing to have a divorce 6 months after getting married. It happened 2 more times in the next two years. I was actually planning a divorce when she got pregnant with twins. The girls did help pull us back together for the first few years, but then we had other issues. At this point I made the decision to stay for the girls, I j…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 09:35 AM
7

Get out now. It will not get any better. My wife cheated on me in the first 6 months of marriage, it was not in person it was a internet relationship. So I forgave here. She did it two more times, I was getting ready to leave and she got pregnant. She had twins and I stayed because I did not want to do that to the kids. Now I am sitting here 20 years later wishing that I had left 20 years ago and now I will losing be 1/2 of my worth as well as paying her alimony for the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 03:33 PM
1

I do not have a problem with the kids, and she was not divorced her husband passed away. I actually have a better relationship with her daughter than she does. I raised her from 5 years old. I did date someone prior to that who had 3 kids from 3 fathers, and I would agree at that point it would be huge red flags.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 03:39 AM
8

Well I thought I picked the right one, we all did, I am sure. Mine was in nursing school, she had two kids, her first husband passed away so no custody issues. The problem is that she quit nursing school as soon as she could see that my salary could support the family, and she never held a full time job for more than a year or two in the last 20 years we were married. Not to mention an inability to manage money, and a host of mental issues....
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 02:48 PM
1

That may be true, but every time I have changed I have done a better job of choosing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 02:30 PM
2

I have had one divorce, and one live-in that lived with me for 5 years and we went separate ways. So I kinda count that as two divorces. With the first one, she was a dope fiend, we had 3 kids, I served her with papers and she happily left the kids with me to raise. With the 2nd one she had 3 kids, I still chat with her daughter as we were close. I am now in my 3rd relationship, we have been married over 20 years, but I am considering divorce for many reasons that I will not go into here. Each t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 01:29 AM
2

Get out now. I was married 22 years ago, in the first 6 months she had an online affair. I forgave her and she said it would never happen again (honestly I was embarrassed to get a divorce 6 months into the marriage) she did this a few more times in the next 3 years (sexting, pics etc to a guy several states away) Then she got pregnant (no question that they are mine) twin girls. She had several other issues (mental and financial) and by now all trust was gone. I decided to stay for the kids. I …
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 02:15 AM
2

I was married to my first wife, my high school sweet heart, in our first year of marriage she got mixed up in drugs, and I fought her addiction for 7 years before I gave up. Fast forward 15 or so years later when our oldest son was getting married. I was re-married by then, my son asked me to walk my ex wife down the isle, and I did so out of respect for him (I raised all 3 of our children without her) I sat between the ex and my new wife during the ceremony. Later my new wife asked, do you stil…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:13 AM
8

So, I see you have met my wife....... When we met she was going go school to be a nurse and I thought great, I have a good paying government job, if she becomes a nurse we will do great. About 1/2 way through her training she was doing some internship at a Dr. office, could not stick a needle in people, dropped out of the program. Worked at a care home as a Nurses aid making minimum wage. I got her a job at the government agency I worked at she did that for a few years then quit because she did …
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 03:17 PM
9

I think the fact that people live longer has something to do with it. In 1900 the average life span was 47. Now the average life span is 77. That is 30 years longer. To make math easier, get married at 27 (which is the average marriage age) and be with someone for 50 years is just something that most can't handle. It is more like people can handle 15-20 years of each other and then are ready to start over again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 04:06 PM
1

it is crazy how similar the stories are with many of us. while sex is more frequent than yours, it is less than monthly and I have always felt we were sexually incompatible (something I thought would improve over time but it does not). The funny part is that she seems to think we are a happy couple, even though I moved into our travel trailer for two months in October (only came back in the house because of xmas. Basically right now I go to bed at 10pm, she goes to bed at 2am, I get up at 6am, s…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 12:43 AM
2

still going through it, and the worst part is that all this time I thought I would get out when the kids turned 18, now that they are 18, in today's economy they are not anywhere near moving out. And like I said at 60 years old the chances are more likely that I will spend the rest of my life alone than they are that I will find someone and he happier than I am now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 05:54 PM
3

without going into a long story, I should have divorced 20 years ago. Over time I went through all of these stages. Mine started with her cheating in the first 6 months (internet sex not in person but still hurts the same) so that started with the pain and embarrassment of a divorce 6 months after getting married. so I would say #2 and #4. This happened several times, then we had kids. so now we move on to #5 maybe #6 #7. Now the kids are grown and I really want out, but at 60 years old #1 and #…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 02:53 PM
2

true, I will be out of debt in about a year, that is when I will make my move. I think doing it now would only make the debt worse.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:24 PM
2

very true
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:23 PM
6

My story is very similar, 21 years together, 2 kids now 19 years old. She cheated in the first 6 months, I let it slide because it was an internet thing, no physical contact, and I was embarrassed to divorce in the first 6 months. The problem is that it happened 2-3 more times in the next two years with the same guy. Then she got pregnant (yes they are mine they look like my kids from my first wife..lol) I honestly was planning a divorce when the twins came along, anyway the cheating stopped but…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:46 AM
1

We saw a counselor many years ago, she said the counselor was blaming her for everything and she quit going. I have been divorced before, I am the type to survive, but I do appreciate your concern.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 03:19 AM
1

I have twin daughters who are 19 years old, they are actually closer to me than to mom. They actually told me "if you get the chance to get away from mom, run" That kinda shows that they see mom is the issue and they see that she treats me badly. I do not trash talk my wife, but they can see that I am not happy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 02:17 PM
1

Thanks it does make me feel a little better that I am not the only one who feels this way.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 11:53 PM
2

I think it can go both ways, mid-life crisis can trigger divorce. That is how I feel right now. My marriage has never been that great, but now that the kids are over 18 I feel like I am done. I feel like I can not stand to be around her and I want to be somewhere else so badly it hurts. I have not left yet because the kids still live with us and are going to college, leaving would make it harder for them to finish school, debt is such that I could not afford to get a lawyer much less get an apar…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 02:56 PM
1

Volunteer for something, if you like sports, then volunteer to coach. Don't like sports, volunteer for something like the Red Cross. This will get you out with other people so you can make some friends, and maybe even meet a woman. I have been divorced twice, I always look at as an opportunity to find someone better than the last one....
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 04:30 AM
5

Still stuck, but making plans for my escape. Interesting that you gave up the house, I was planning the same thing, I hate this house anyway......
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:36 PM
22

Yep. 20 years ago I married my wife, she was in college planning on being a nurse. I was a government employee with a decent salary over the years I promoted to management had had a good salary. A few years after we married she decided nursing was not for her, the next 18 years were filled with part time jobs, unemployment etc. I thought I was marrying someone who was going to help me financially succeed, instead I married a bloodsucker that made me do all the work and pay all the bills while sh…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:25 AM
11

I am with you, I have not filed yet. While we do not fight, I can't stand to be around her. we have been married for 20 years, she cheated on me several times, starting in the first year. I should have gotten out then. When we met she was going to school to be a nurse, then she found that I made decent money and quit school, bounced from one dead end job to the next to the point that her only monitary contribution to the household is to pay her car payment, and that is only when she feels like i…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 03:31 AM
2

Kids know more than you think. I am in a similar position, but my girls are 19. One day the wife was being a bitch as I was leaving the house to take the girls somewhere, as soon as we were in the car alone they said "we would not blame you if you left her"
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 04:37 AM
2

yep, I guess I should have said not physical abuse, but you are 100% correct, I still feel used and lied to and I should have left years ago. But for the pain I did get twin girls who are 19 now and closer to me than mom, they also have seen with their own eyes how she treats me wrong. I will get out some day.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 05:44 PM
7

Not as a matter of abuse, but mine changed as a matter of education and financial responsibility. When I met her she was going to college planning to be a nurse. After we married she became a CNA and said she could not handle giving shots, so she gave up on becoming a nurse, in 20 years she has had over a dozen jobs, never working one more than a year or so and causing me to bear the burden of the household expenses. We have argued about this many times over, I have even told her that because sh…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 05:57 PM
1

I have thought about Italy, only because my grandfather was born there. A friend of mine did one of the online wife deals, got a younger woman from the Philippines, he is still very happy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 07:09 AM
8

22 years here also, we are only separated and not divorced yet. I am done, she thinks I will snap out of it and acts as if nothing is wrong. I am living in our travel trailer at home so that I can be by my teenage girls.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 06:17 AM
3

There are apps like textnow that will give you a 2nd phone number on your phone, delete the app and the phone number is gone. The basic service is free with ads before and after calls, but for a few dollars you can reduce or eliminate the ads. They will also send you a sim to put into a phone for a more streamlined usage, order the sim and put it in an old phone, or grab a phone from ebay to put the sim in.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 06:32 PM
9

been together for 22 years, much of it miserable. I was waiting for the kids to turn 18. One morning we had an argument and she said something that she had said before "you'll never change" at that moment it was like a light shined down on me and I told her, you know what? You are right, I will never change, I am who I am and I am not changing to make someone else happy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 01:48 PM
4

I agree, I waited until the kids were over 18, I got a consolidation loan and am paying off all the bills, then c-ya. 12 months left. Some have said get a lawyer, split the debt, but honestly, neither of us can afford to even move into an apartment at this point. If I pay everything off I can easily afford $2k in alimony and get a loan to buy out her share of the house. (I owned the house before I met her)
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 02:05 AM
2

My wife was taking medication that reduced her ability to have an orgasm, sometimes it was next to impossible no matter what we did (toys oral, whatever). She would get angry and frustrated and say things like "a real man would please his wife, I should find someone who can" that is like a knife in the heart, yet I never had that problem with other women.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 05:56 PM
4

Funny you say that, I am in year 22, my wife had an internet boyfriend several times in the first 3 years, after that I turned off my emotions, stayed because of the kids. The youngest (twin girls) just turned 18 and I just told the wife that my job was done, we are now separated....I am ready for divorce and excited on what may happen next....
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 09:29 PM
1

Eh, the kids are 18, twin girls, they are actually closer to me than her anyway. I told one of them I should have left years ago, she said I am glad you didn't I could not have put up with mom. Money, well there is more debt than money, the only real issue is whatever equity is in the house, since I bought it 5 years before I married her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 03:58 PM
3

Thanks, She and I discussed it, she agrees that things that we have not solved over 20 years can not be solved. We have agreed to make this a friendly exit. We do not hate each other, we just have unresolved issues that will not go away. Even the kids agree they saw this coming and are glad we are doing it this way. I did not want to be the ass whole who served her with papers and said you have a week to get out when she has no place to go no resources to go
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 08:03 PM
2

interesting
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 08:00 PM
1

I think the biggest thing is that the house was mine and I do not want to leave, she can not afford to leave and I do not want to be the asshole who served her papers and said get out. This way we can plan a fair exit. We talked she and the kids are good with it, and as another poster said 17% of people do it this way.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 07:59 PM
2

I waited, 18 years, now I am planning for the divorce and wish I had done it when I was younger, however I do have an amazing relationship with my daughters, I am closer to them than she is. And now I am thinking how is this going to work? Am I going to toss her out of the house? She has no place to go. Am I going to leave the house that I have owned for 25 years (5 years before we married)? At this point I am planning to pay off some bills and save up so I can hand her some cash and tell her to…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 04:02 AM
10

After 3 failed relationships I have a difficult time trusting women. The first one found drugs, we divorced and I took the kids. The 2nd one I did not marry but we lived together for 5 years. She mentally abused my kids until she left. The 3rd one said she wanted to be a nurse, I thought finally a professional, we married and she dropped out of school and has bounced from one worthless job to another making me support her, and she has cheated on me.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 10:49 PM
4

while this appears to be true, it does not reduce your benefit - "The amount of benefits you get has no effect on the benefits of your ex-spouse and his or her current spouse. " https://blog.ssa.gov/ex-spouse-benefits-and-how-they-affect-you/
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 04:54 AM
4

yep, and half my age. I told one that I had a daughter older than her and she said that did not matter.....lol. Did not matter for trying to get my credit card number maybe...lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 05:52 PM
3

"She shouts, she demeans and belittles and I'm starting to hate everything about her. I have been with her for nearly 20 years" What the hell, how could you be married to my wife? The only difference is my kids are 18, and they have a better relationship with me than her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 06:19 AM
3

I did not have an ultimatum, but I had a live-in girlfriend who was always pushing me to get married, I may have wanted to marry her, but because she was pushing so hard (she even started using my last name) she basically turned me off from the idea of being married. At some point she gave up and moved out. She did end up getting married to someone else but it did not last long.....
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 08:15 PM
2

yea, just a matter of finding the right group to volunteer with, if nothing else it keeps you busy and is better sitting at home feeling bad.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 05:25 AM
5

Volunteer. Find something you enjoy and volunteer. You are more likely to meet someone if you are happy, and are more likely to find common interests. I retired in 2019. I volunteer for the Red Cross. I also have teen aged daughters who play soccer, I volunteer as a coach and run the concession stand. I stay busier than when I was working and I meet all sorts of people who share the same interests I do. It also does some good for your community, Volunteerism is way down and non-profit entities a…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:57 PM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 01:46 AM
1

She's not going to pay it, someone has to. She has not held a job for more than a year in the last 10, one of my many issues.....
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 09:44 PM
2

I am in a similar situation except I am planning ahead, I got a debt consolidation loan and in 18 months all credit cards will be paid off, as well as my car, the kids braces etc, hopefully enough free flow to cover alimony. Luckily we do not hate each other we have just grown apart over the years, sex is monthly and not that great and she has always had temper control issues, I am just not in love anymore and do not want this to be the person I spend the last 1/3 of my life with. So for now, de…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 03:49 AM
3

wow, you show there is some hope.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 04:18 AM
2

sounds like mine, She had a good government job that would have paid a retirement had she stayed. About 10 years ago she up and quit, said she was not happy working there, she has had a dozen jobs since, and none of them have lasted a full year. I don't own anything, the best thing I ever did was to stick it out at my government job and retire at 100k per year. But that and bills is all I have.....
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 04:49 PM
6

The financial issue is a big one, I am also retired and worry about the same thing, half my pension plus alimony.? Sounds like to me she is getting more than you are....You work 30+ years to have a stable retirement and then you have to pay to be happy.....it sure sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 03:49 PM
3

My first wife developed a drug problem, we divorced and I raised my three children. While I did get re-married, my daughter always sends me a "happy mother's day" note, thanking me for being there when mom was not. It has always meant more to me than anything I get on Fathers day....
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 05:09 AM
3

wow, and I thought I was the only one. Work, cook, do the laundry on weekends, while she sits on her ass. Apparently I am the only one trained in loading the dishwasher. My kids are almost 18, and even they see it. In fact one has started mopping the floors and helping with the laundry just because they know mom won't. I am holding out until they are over 18 so there is no issue of custody or support for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 03:07 AM
2

When I filed, I got a restraining order, she had a few hours after she was served to get out and stay out.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/21 05:20 AM
1

I can only speak of the divorce part, not the PTSD, but honestly I have had a divorce, and had a woman who lived with me for 5 years leave (never married) Each time I met someone better than the last. I am almost 60 years old and considering divorce #2. Worried about what my options would be at 60 years old, I logged onto an online dating site and was amazed at how may responses I received, I would not consider myself to be great looking, 5-8, 235, balding a little over weight. But while I did n…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 05:09 PM
1

Look at this as an opportunity to find someone new who actually cares about you and your feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/21 02:08 AM
1

get out now. Honestly I was in this situation, within the first year of marriage my wife had and internet friend, she was doing more than just talking, like sexting, nude pics etc. I was too embarrassed to end the marriage in the first year. She promised it would not happen again. It happened two more times in the next two years. (same guy) divorce would have been difficult because we both had young kids from previous relationships all living together (I was preparing financially to leave with m…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/21 01:57 AM
5

yup
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/21 04:18 PM
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