| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 277 | FDS DIVORCE TIPS | STRATEGY | ready2leav | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 08:01 AM |
| 166 | Ask him upfront what he values? | DISCUSSION | ready2leav | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 03:11 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 175 | I haven't had the sex I want eitherhadn’t been ruined by porn….when boys knew how lucky they were to touch a boob YES!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 01:57 AM |
| 110 | Left my fiancée today. Here is the letter I left him.Yep. Seconding this—7years into my financially, socially, and professionally crippling marriage. It’s so ducking hard and I don’t even have kids. This is FDS, home of the most ruthless queens on the internet, so you’ll see a smorgasbord of “run yesterday sis!” comments. I love these women 🥰 everything they all say below is true, yet, FDS teaches a system of values, which can’t be changed overnight. Hell, I have checked in with FDS every day, read many books, subscribe to the podcast, done therap… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 09:49 AM |
| 5 | Incel saying the quiet part out loud: we’re not people to them.“Pro-choice yourself” is my new favorite way of telling someone to off themself lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 08:39 PM |
| 4 | Men start looking for reasons to hate/intentionally misunderstand you when they realize you’re smarter than they expected?misogyny is incredibly mundane. Love this & great comment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 08:17 AM |
| 21 | I am just so... disappointedHOLY INSPIRATIONAL👑 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 04:49 AM |
| 20 | Men start looking for reasons to hate/intentionally misunderstand you when they realize you’re smarter than they expected?This this this! Covered in “Why Does He Do That” (recommended everywhere in this sub) Men see women as a mere resource to be exploited. Men treat women poorly because it gets them what they want and benefits them. Lundy says it has nothing to do with hate (which I’m still grappling with and I know we love to say it all the time in this sub). I’d still say that the end effect is hate. Abusing someone, to me, is an act of hatred but Idk and doesn’t matter. The actions matter. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 01:06 AM |
| 3 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSI just don’t know what is at stake to be able to make that decision. The only thing I know for sure is his w-2 salary from last year because Of my IRS audit & even that paperwork appears to be edited because the tax packet he sent me doesn’t contain the amount in the 401k which I feel like it should for a 70 page tax filing. Like…is this worth it to pursue some hacking software or something…idk. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:19 AM |
| 2 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSLuckily I know you’re spot on about leaving emotions checked at the door and luckily, I have been in business school the past two years plus mixed with the two years of disappointments, I honestly am coming at this with just a business mindset. But what I have also read is that if you are the lower earning spouse, the divorce can be the biggest transaction of your lifetime (okay that will be a stretch for me, but certainly biggest transaction of the next 5 years of my life.) with that being said… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:17 AM |
| 2 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSI do not, thank my luckiest of stars—or a deep down intuition that it never felt right to have them with this person. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:12 AM |
| 1 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSI haven’t seen one free consultation advertised—perhaps this is something I have to explicitly ask for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:12 AM |
| 1 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSMostly separate. Part of that is on me: i have never been bad with money (overspending or debt) but also wasn’t active about it either. I’m actually doing my MBA now & have a whole different attitude about it—less overwhelmed & scared of finances & numbers. (Okay still sucking at my Econ course) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:11 AM |
| 1 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSI did this and all I found in the bin was a medical bill and opened condom he said he had used to jerk off…? (That’s a separate discussion.) I think he keeps important documents at work which I can’t get access to since it is a secure building due to his work in tech. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:09 AM |
| 1 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSI never thought of that banking tip—some good old fashioned social engineering! Any further details on how such a call might go down? I have his name, DOB, Social obviously but how would I prove who I am to him? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:07 AM |
| 1 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSI did join CL recently! I love her attitude—had no idea she married a lawyer—how funny! I’m wondering how many to “shop around” for? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:05 AM |
| 2 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSCan I ask, what monetary figure has to be at stake for a divorce attorney to be “worth it”? (Since I don’t have kids.) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:03 AM |
| 3 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSThank you that means a lot. Online posts where you really open yourself up to criticism and laying bare your mistakes is always nerve-wracking. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 08:03 AM |
| 3 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSI started to lean in about the finances the last year we lived together which was how I found out about a lot of lying. Crypto, stock, & his 401k I never saw as I felt they were “his” at the time (yay for pick me days). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 07:57 AM |
| 1 | FDS DIVORCE TIPSI love that you took the time to write all of this out for me. Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 07:55 AM |
| 2 | Always, ALWAYS check his phoneAh okay. I did the same thing with texts actually and it was helpful for the exact same reason. I’m legally married to him and felt it may be useful somehow in the divorce process but if someone is ever dating someone and it comes to this, I say just block and delete because you’re right, it is so time consuming. Very useful for me to stop second-guessing myself though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 08:20 AM |
| 1 | Always, ALWAYS check his phoneGirl I need tips on this. What did the sheet include? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 06:13 AM |
| 45 | Scrote refuses to marry forever gf because of “dead bedroom” and has been stringing her along for 3 years. Can you count the red flags in this post?1000%. It’s interesting how often I see the woman in therapy and the man is not…. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 09:49 AM |
| 18 | Mistakes were made, let us count the ways…Yes I totally agree! Rejecting weird very often means embracing your intuition (& brain!) which we are soooo conditioned not to do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 02:47 AM |
| 23 | Thankful I Found FDS!I appreciate the vigilance of people like you who keep an eye on the fences—who is coming in and out. 🙂 that’s just a compliment to you for checking, I know it sounds weird. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 02:42 AM |
| 11 | I’m speechless and his excuse is even more sickening.Right. This is not an issue of feelings but of his thinking. He holds beliefs that he is entitled to his wife’s body. (Thanks Lundy Bancroft!) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 08:57 PM |
| 8 | I’m speechless and his excuse is even more sickening.Sis that is f—ing BRAVERY right there for you to quit a field you love because of your ideals and then have the motivation to continue schooling to make sure you have something to pay your bills. Kudos to you!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 08:55 PM |
| 7 | "Are you a feminist?" How do you answer this?If there is one thing I have learned this past year it is THIS. you have to think like a man to effectively deal with men aka put a little evil in your heart. I couldn’t talk to my abusive ex or dad for years until I realized this (& the Lundy book). They EXCLUSIVELY only understand you dishing them what they dish you. (Like literally, I will copy and paste their texts back to them as a response instead of typing what I would say. I have watched my ex argue “with himself” by doing this and it’s … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 08:46 PM |
| 39 | LVM f*cked around, found out.Jesus Christ this is giving me the worst flashbacks to my ex. The always blaming someone else, shifting accountability, complete inability to possess any theory of mind aka imagine someone else’s thoughts, feelings, humanity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 01:04 AM |
| 24 | Ladies, I'm in desperate need for some advice. Please help!!!I needed to read this today in ways you can’t imagine. Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 04:40 AM |
| 16 | Observe on how he treats you when you're sick or in a bad situationI think it’s fine to mention it. At FDS we never like to put on the rosy glasses with men and teach women to always be on the lookout. That means pointing out the good and bad. Always. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 04:37 AM |
| 23 | Observe on how he treats you when you're sick or in a bad situationA guy who doesn’t wait to be told what to do and is able to ANTICIPATE your needs is a unicorn, I’m happy you have found one! (like women do as second nature since we are so socialized to care for others or idk not be shit humans) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 04:35 AM |
| 32 | You guysss 🤮🤮🥲 “Ugh- husband woke me up in middle of night for sex and it was gross”Idk why but for the love of god can we not co-opt porn language and not refer to pregnant women as “breeding” lol That is ripped off straight from porn. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 04:26 AM |
| 124 | Ladies, take care of yourself because no man ever will!This is why the term “male friend” is a misnomer for women, by and large | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 04:08 AM |
| 37 | I don’t know what to say other than ewwwww!What is that? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 04:52 AM |
| 12 | My friend says "I don't like men that are kind to me, they're boring, I like my men a little bit toxic" how to respond to her? She keeps ending up with trashy men, and when they use and discard her I'm the first person she comes running to and I'm sick of it😩Society I think is a big part of it too. I know a couple people who took such 180 degree turns from their family values or beliefs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 03:26 PM |
| 31 | Need advice…also learn from my mistake!Unfortunately these scrotes are psychos. Say you gotta man and then block and delete. Anything else they will keep pursuing or even get angry at you. (Because of har har bro code, you not wanting him = keep trying or get mad; you having a man = he might respect that guys “property”, sad but this is how they think and even then, that won’t always work) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 06:29 PM |
| 2 | Ladies who have taken back an ex, did he change and what made you take him back?SIS DONT DO IT PLEASE THEY DONT CHANGE—THEY GET BETTER AT ACTING. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 05:08 PM |
| 9 | Ladies who have taken back an ex, did he change and what made you take him back?What was the behavior? Also I feel like there needs to be wallet sized cards of the behaviors for reference lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 05:07 PM |
| 40 | Not accepting text conversations is THE BEST!Mmm I don’t think us queens should divide ourselves anymore than we need to. Like maybe some generations seem more sensitive but I will say zoomers are the ones who are saying “nah sis” to the atrocious shit gen x learned to put up with in the 90s and pornified 2000s. Brings a tear to my eye to see it. [[hope I got my generation references right lol]] | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 04:57 PM |
| 11 | Eve doesn't date single fathers, or: cultural misogyny in a nutshell, or: the audacityThis is interesting re: all your information about times where it did end up being beneficial to remain in contacts with a man despite us being such hardcore “block, delete, never look back.” I am furiously trying to improve my career position & network & have often wondered if I should be a little more nuanced about it. How do I know when to cut a guy out or when to keep him as a contact? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 05:06 PM |
| 52 | This is what we mean when we say don't go 50/50. You'll be doing 100% of the childrearing while he's at work and he will expect you to give up your savings as well.I just wanna know the responses this post got | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/22 01:39 AM |
| 52 | A perfect example of how casual the violence against women is in the gaming communityStatutory rape epidemic* | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 12:44 AM |
| 83 | Was wondering if any FDS ladies on here have lost interest in dating after finding a job with a healthy environment and/ making more money?We’ve cracked the code, like other posters have noted. I too have seen a direct correlation between my happiness or drive in my career and how much I seek fulfillment in relationships. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 10:57 AM |
| 32 | It’s just me or you also find man cave a bull$hit ?Man caves are for dudes who are too useless to have a garage with tools and real skills 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 09:05 PM |
| 7 | I feel like I can't trust menOf course don’t trust men, sis. You need to trust yourself not to put up with bs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 08:21 AM |
| 121 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.I was once told I had a lot of skin on my knee caps…pray for us all lmao | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 05:53 PM |
| 2 | Portrait of a shitty lover (or - run screaming in the opposite direction if this is your man in bed)Yep clitORus! And he sweared up and down he “rarely” used porn but literally couldn’t handle having his dick touched (ever met a guy who couldn’t receive handjobs?) I asked wth he used to stimulate himself and he just replied “not my hand”. Wtf?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/11/21 04:26 AM |
| 75 | How to make it clear you will NOT go on a drinks date?And nobody can pretend forever! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/11/21 02:13 AM |
| 17 | Portrait of a shitty lover (or - run screaming in the opposite direction if this is your man in bed)Extremely true. cOmMuNiCaTe is largely bullshit in the bedroom as well as outside of it. I don’t want to have to always be expected to explicitly spell every little thing out just because he is a moron who ruined his own brain on tv & porn & had zero awareness, emotional intelligence, or perceptual acuity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/11/21 12:43 AM |
| 29 | Portrait of a shitty lover (or - run screaming in the opposite direction if this is your man in bed)THIS. IS. THE. TRUTH. Stop. Making. Excuses. It took one of my exes 8+ years to make me cum through oral sex. Same shit with the comments about taste or hair. Would start talking about pornyass shit if he was having a hard orgasming. You KNOW a man who is into women from a mile away. The difference in attitude is like comparing a foodie to a picky toddler. And to repeat what OP says in the beginning: don’t get fooled by how high value you think he is. I was seeing a handsome, smart doctor who: -… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/11/21 12:40 AM |
| 15 | Ask him upfront what he values?I love this point about HOW he expresses his values; thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 02:51 AM |
| 50 | He locks her out of the house, because men are literally the worst.Your words summed it up perfectly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 12:13 AM |
| 23 | How do you deal with rejection?THIS!! Altering my mindset to only find mutual attraction attractive (stop chasing) is crucial. Fell so hard (like more turned on than I had ever been in the past decade) for a guy last year that slow-faded me. Happened to come across him again on a dating app and he had liked me. I laughed and swiped left. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 03:43 PM |
| 2 | How do you deal with rejection?Practice sis. Keep doing it over and over and over again until you care less each time. Like exposure therapy. Know that you are inherently not for everyone. I used to be so scared of public speaking and talking to strangers and just kept doing it until it didn’t phase me. That’s it. Oh and come on here every day and remind yourself why men ain’t shit compared to women ❤️❤️❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 03:39 PM |
| 10 | FDS is not the place for you if you’re not willing to examine your own attitudes, beliefs and behaviours“People will treat you how you allow them to.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 01:14 AM |
| 18 | “It’s normal to feel attracted to others in a relationship.”Yup! You’re not crazy. It’s like when you eat an amazing meal and feel full and you’re simply not hungry for more food no matter how good it looks. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/20 08:44 PM |
| 1 | Pick-me friend is driving me madIt doesn’t sound like you’re getting what you need or want. Cut your losses sis. Men AND women should treat you with respect. You sound like a good friend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/20 07:30 PM |
| 15 | Pick-me friend is driving me madWhat would you like from the relationship with her? What does it do for you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 05:24 AM |
| 8 | I recently did a purge of all men I suspected were only friends because they wanted to sleep with me. Now I have literally no one around.Focus on your career and advancing yourself because it’s literally you investing in future you. Do that girl a favor and do some hard legwork now! Hiking groups are still happening darling! All forms of outdoor activities. Search your area + hiking group on facebook. Also, there are soooo many interesting Zoom groups right now—check Eventbrite, meetup, and Facebook. Can you afford a therapist to talk to? At the end of the day, you’ve really got to learn to enjoy just yourself as company. Your li… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 05:22 AM |
| 3 | Some thoughts on BDSM and why it throws women to the wolvesThe old men. Oh god, the audacity of unattractive dusty 40s & 50something men trying to get with gorgeous 20s women 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 05:10 AM |
| 7 | Some thoughts on BDSM and why it throws women to the wolvesIt seems the majority are in an unhealthy mindset and basically use it for self harm. Preach sister. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 05:07 AM |
| 2 | An early casualty of the current crisis. Please join me in saying goodnight to a fallen comrade... #gonebutnotforgottenAdam and Eve is a good online store. When my first one stopped holding a charge after only a few months, they sent me another one immediately, free of charge, no return of the old one required. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/20 03:42 PM |
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