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redearththeory Archive

View 2 posts and 459 comments by redearththeory on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Grocery store run, every time. Agreed. Fruit and vegetables stay good in a hotel room for days without refrigeration. Its a lot easier to order something healthy at a strange restaurant if I ate two apples before dinner.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/17 05:20 PM
1

If you cosleep in a bed that you haven't specifically set up for cosleeping, you run the risk of killing your child, like OP's friend did and like thousands of people did before they understood the risk factors for SIDS. So unless you're going to help her prepare a new cosleeping bed, you're pushing her to endanger your child's life, which is a fucking retarded thing to do. I agree with your general principle, but the health of your child is more important and should be an exception. Also, He's …
/r/askMRP19/02/17 09:13 AM
1

Normally I'd agree. But not if she's cosleeping with a baby.
/r/askMRP18/02/17 02:17 PM
1

Not a bad response. I'd tell her very calmly that if she starts a fight at 2am again you'll be sleeping somewhere else the next night. Start with a spare bedroom. Then a hotel if that doesn't work.
/r/askMRP17/02/17 01:09 PM
3

Unless you point it out I don't think your wife will notice. If you point it out she'll see it and then notice it every time you fool around. And then it will become one of those things people can't unsee and get obsessed with and then it'll grate and gnaw and distract and she'll get freaked out every damn time you get naked. You didn't tell her did you!?!
/r/askMRP16/02/17 05:11 PM
4

That was my first thought too. New guys don't understand that there is a dedicated group actively working to dox us and ruin our lives. There should be a stickied post or very visible warning on askmrp explaining this.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/17 02:07 PM
2

Would anyone but you actually notice this?
/r/askMRP16/02/17 01:58 PM
4

While you're gone, look at how you feel without her affection and approval. I swear half betadom in new guys is the emotional dependence on those things. Read. Work on your map. Learning about a new country and becoming a more cultured person or a more global businessman is always positive. If you were a bit farther along there might be some benefit to be had improving your OI and abundance with the local girls. But that's generally a terrible idea if you're this new.
/r/askMRP15/02/17 03:42 PM
3

Her criticism wounds you so deeply that you'll move mountains to avoid it. This stick allows her to control you. Read the sidebar. Get some male friends. Ignore her.
/r/askMRP15/02/17 02:06 AM
5

I found MRP around 15 months ago when my wife was pregnant with our 3rd. My suggestions are as follows. 1) Your wife is likely to get more unreasonable, more bitchy and turn up the shit tests. One explanation is that pregnancy is the time when she is the most vulnerable (physically, logistically, genetically) and most at risk from having a weak man. She will test you harder. Also, her hormones will go crazy and most people think this will result in an escalation of hostility and unreasonableness…
/r/askMRP14/02/17 01:36 PM
1

purposely playing loud music in bed time so I can't sleep type of thing Go sleep somewhere else. Next time she does it, don't say anything, just take your things and go to a hotel for a night. locking out wifi Buy a new router, set the security so she doesn't have the admin password, put the old one in the trash. She can afford to sleep ultra late Ah, so you have no kids. Tell her that she's going to need to start working. When she argues back, start a fight over it and abuse her for being lazy …
/r/askMRP14/02/17 01:01 PM
2

here are some beginner basics and tips that have worked for me: I tried a lot of things but mine responds really well to physical dominance like me casually picking her up and walking around with her over my shoulder. For guys who are 9 months in and have been hitting the dead lifts and squats like they should be, you should be substantially stronger than in the past and you can surprise her with this.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/17 12:55 PM
2

The act of reading books cover to cover in and of itself will not suddenly unplug you. Just like watching instructional videos will not make you a kickboxer. You have to get in the ring and fight or at least spar if you want to have a useable skillset.
/r/askMRP21/01/17 08:10 AM
0

If that is the case, then what is the point in trying? You will never be the #1 alpha in the world Don't hold on. She's not yours, its just your turn, until its not. Enjoy it while it lasts and then bail. “‘All conditioned things are impermanent’ — when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering.” The Buddha
/r/askMRP21/01/17 08:01 AM
2

Rollo = legend. Awesome news.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/17 04:09 AM
3

This is the perfect setup to withdraw time and affection to condition her behavior after you spend a few months improving and get through the first couple stages of dread. She's disrespectful? I have a lot of work next week I won't be around much. She complains, dismissively ask her if she likes the food you put on her table or the roof you pay for. Find a gym close to that office and start lifting. Don't even mention this to her. See how long you go without her finding out about your lifting. W…
/r/askMRP20/01/17 04:05 AM
1

If its a problem and you want it to reduce, then impose consequences. The next time she does it and the social context is appropriate for consequences (like just you two together), don't get butthurt, just sigh and sternly say "Interrupting me is rude and makes me not want to spend time with you. I have something else I need to do now." Then get up and leave. She will shit test you. Respond with "When you're rude I'm not going to spend time with you and now you're acting like a child so I'll see…
/r/askMRP20/01/17 03:56 AM
2

Walk over to the fridge and say "You don't get to decide were I go in my own house or what I put on my food, get out of the way of my fridge and my ketchup". If she doesn't move, say "I'm not going to spend time with you when you act like a fucking child" then put the sandwich down, get your coat, say nothing more, walk out the door, go have lunch somewhere you like, don't respond to any messages or calls and come back 3 hours later. When you get back, your position should be "If you behave like…
/r/askMRP12/01/17 02:21 AM
0

Her: "No, you're not putting ketchup to your sandwich. It has a great flavor. Are you telling me you don't like it?" So that's the conversation she wants to have. But who fucking cares what she wants to talk about. Communicate what you want to communicate. Suggested response - I'll be putting ketchup on it. * puts ketchup on it *.
/r/askMRP11/01/17 01:29 PM
1

Can you move together as a family to the country she'd go back to, get your life and job stable there, then divorce her and be close to the kids?
/r/askMRP10/01/17 09:08 AM
1

The thing about butthurt that's really damaging is that the butthurt reaction recognizes that the other person is the one with power, doesn't have the balls overtly challenge their power, and the tries to victim blame and shame them for not meeting the butthurt guys needs. That's why its gutless and repulsive to women. There is a big difference between that and a dominant angry reaction that involves calling out someone on their unacceptable behavior. Which is of course why butthurt is so attrac…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/17 08:59 AM
2

Great post. Great to see you back around.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/17 08:42 AM
2

Those are all problems that can be solved by improving your leadership and management. Get to work learning how to lead and manage.
/r/askMRP06/01/17 11:19 AM
1

Mine spit on me one time and without missing a beat I spit on her, shrugged (like fine, I guess we can stand here spitting on each other if you want, idgaf) and then went and did something else.
/r/askMRP03/01/17 02:25 PM
4

Read every book in the sidebar starting with the prerequisites. Most of them are about social interaction in one form or another. Your problem is that you're a low value man and the nearest examples of high value men are highly social. I promise that if you were a 30 year old Clint Eastwood or pro athlete no one care that you're not super social. Its a wider topic, don't get obsessed with one facet. Use what you find here to become a high value man and the ditch your wife if she doesn't improve …
/r/askMRP03/01/17 02:12 PM
2

May I please request blog post on LTR shit tests? Try almost any post on this sub. But each post will describe one specific situation, unlike illimitablemans overview. I'd go back through the posts on this sub and read the OP and then the top 1 or 2 comments for the most upvoted analysis.
/r/askMRP29/12/16 01:26 PM
2

With a covert contract, you create and reinforce the narrative that you need something from them, which puts them into a perfect position to dominate you. Women are experts at recognizing and exploiting this. With covert communication you threaten something they value, remind them that they need something from you, and further your ability to dominate them.
/r/askMRP29/12/16 08:10 AM
6

About an hour later, she woke me up and said that her tablet was missing In my house that wouldn't be sufficient reason to disturb my sleep. and she responded that I was very aloof in our interaction last night. If my wife woke me up because she lost her crap, I'd be a lot more fucking unpleasant than "aloof". This whole thing was a shit test as it constituted "unreasonable behavior".
/r/askMRP29/12/16 07:57 AM
2

Ever heard of "there is no such thing as a dumb question" ? We have posting guidelines that say "you are expected to have read the prerequisites in the sidebar". I read that guideline and the the sidebar before my first post. Not fucking rocket science. My experience is that people don't get attacked for asking dumb questions. The get attacked for asking half ass lazy questions because they were too lazy to prepare adequately and wanted someone else to do the work for them. Just like in their ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/16 02:54 PM
1

My wife gave me a hard time for leaving some things out in the kitchen that have been there for a couple weeks. So this is a classic power struggle, judgement call issue. Assuming you didn't leave things out that will spoil and cause a food safety issue or commit earlier to putting them away. Tidineess is generally a good thing but its your house and your kitchen and as a grown man can decide whether you put things away. Your wifes unreasonable tone waa a shit test. You failed it because you tid…
/r/askMRP24/12/16 02:40 PM
7

Call her. Be her strength and shelter even if you're not there.
/r/askMRP23/12/16 12:26 PM
2

The problem is, some of her complaints are legitimate Like what OP? and/or some I feel like were brought about by her not doing something combined with my IDGAF attitude. Again, like what? Good chance these are things that are her responsibility. You are the captain. You are responsible for managing your life and your family. You are not responsible for what she thinks you should do. If your actions where reasonable, you are definitely not responsible for her feelings. But if you committed to ha…
/r/askMRP22/12/16 04:14 PM
3

You're responsible for leading your holiday. This means you are responsible for groceries. You can delegate food procurement to her, handle it yourself, or do it together. Lots of options there that don't involve spending time with her. If you're going to handle it yourself, you need to be on top of meal planning. Who is handling that? This is leading. When you are leading properly you can make decisions, organize operations to suit your agenda and lead her. What you can't do it let her plan eve…
/r/askMRP22/12/16 04:01 PM
2

She makes you PAY. (Think Drill sergeant from Full metal Jacket.) No . All she does is express an opinion. You allow her to decide whether or not you feel good about yourself. Once you stop doing this, what she says cannot hurt you and you respond to shit tests with a shrug. That's the real game. She tries to commandeer what I've done and say "oh nice try third child, but you're to inept to make a plan, and now that you've spoken to the babysitter and involve a third party I have to have more wo…
/r/askMRP21/12/16 04:21 AM
2

Yeah, but then she's just got to swallow it. If she doesn't swallow it and she gets more defensive, you A&A, tease her relentlessly and turn the whole thing into a joke. Don't be scared of her anger if you know you're right (this is frame). Because she did actually fuck up by interpreting a legitimate and relevant question as criticism, you have the upper hand. Press your advantage (next time). But its also fairly likely that she'll respond with "Sorry, yes, I filed them." And then you can rewar…
/r/askMRP20/12/16 04:17 PM
0

My response would have been - "I asked a simple question sweetcheeks. Don't get defensive. Now, did you file the massage claims?" AM the shit test. Criticize her defensiveness. Bring it back to logistics.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 04:00 PM
2

When you do any of this don't talk about it. Before or after. On some things you will take a risk that she doesn't notice and that's fine. I have some ideas here but a lot will depend on where you live (UK, US, Uzbekistan?), how old your kids are and what your wife is into. Actions to add value Find something that's broken and important to her and fix it. Again do not talk about this, let her find it. Find something she needs and buy it. Again do not talk about this, let her find it. Arrange a b…
/r/askMRP20/12/16 07:35 AM
0

So this year she waits until I'm out of town and then puts the ski rack on and tells me how proud she is for doing it herself. I'd thank her for taking initiative before you pull it down. But pulling it down was the right thing to do if that's what was agreed. I finally break and throw all of my shit out on the table What does this mean? You victim puked and started yelling or something? She asks what she can do and I respond, "you can make me feel like the man I bed. C'mon, I'm taking you up an…
/r/askMRP20/12/16 06:43 AM
5

Imagine if your wife was like 170 kgs, had a face like Nick Nolte got her haircut like a man, was always bitching at you, and then was like "You owe me sex because I take care of your kid, come here and get on top of me." And you were like "Ew, no, jesus." That's basically what you're doing to her. The people who told you that she would always be happy to have sex with you because you were married, lied to you.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 06:27 AM
9

believe I deserve recognition and sex for doing so Sex only comes from being attractive. Recognition only comes from being awesome. The physical act of taking care of your child is something a nanny will do for minimum wage. Be an awesome dad because you own your family and love your kids. Lift, read the sidebar, do the work.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 04:03 AM
1

Today's I briefly said again "I take full ownership over everything that's goes on in this house, When you apologize, do it once and be done with it. Don't apologize twice for the same thing. Secondly, stop talking and start solving problems in her life. Show her your value. Talk is cheap OP.
/r/askMRP19/12/16 06:19 AM
5

I think life has seasons. In some seasons we add a lot of external external things thinking they'll improve things but we're frequently inexperienced in a thing at the time we add it. Inevitably there comes another season we deload the things that aren't working. I think this is the natural pattern of things like you describe.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/16 12:51 AM
7

STBX - I think you are passing judgment on him. Response to this should have been - "Hey, I gotta go, I have a lot of things to do, but you kids have fun. Bye"
/r/askMRP17/12/16 01:57 AM
6

How do I change her bitchy attitude right now? If she's not pleasant company, leave and go be around someone else. Tell her you are not enjoying her company (with a smile), shrug, walk out the door, go something else for 3 hours, try again. See how many times you have to do that before she gets it. Still one of the best shit test responses out there.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/16 01:41 PM
3

His book Models has some strong ideas and pretty solidly red pill strategies for working with women's attraction response, but that seems to be missing from a lot of his later work. I think the article is OK, but not that useful as there is basically nothing on maintaining female attraction and it suffers from the same fallacy as a lot of BP advice: men and women need to do the same things to make a relationship work and therefore you can write one set of rules that applies to both and contains …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/16 10:38 AM
1

But was it really "butthurt?" No. If you delivered it properly it was critical and aggressive, which is an important tool. Asserting your right to decide the acceptability of her behavior is dominant. Criticizing her behavior and pushing her to qualify to your standards is also dominant. Actually, those two tactics are how women seek to dominate men through shit tests. Just make sure that you're adding a lot of value to her life if you're going to make your company negative at times. Butthurt is…
/r/askMRP16/12/16 02:32 AM
1

I dont feel like I ve done anything wrong Then explain to her that she does not get to decide the acceptability of your behavior. Because she's not your fucking supervisor, even though it's convenient for her to assert that she is.
/r/askMRP16/12/16 02:18 AM
1

Yes. What she does is largely irrelevant.
/r/askMRP16/12/16 02:16 AM
3

The concepts are exactly the same Pickup examples from the article. – “Aww, are you upset?!” – “Buy me a drink!!” – “Can we be -just friends?-“ – “Hold my bag for me!” or “Will you go and get me a coffee?” Wife examples – “Aww, are you upset?!” – “Buy me jewelery for christmas!!” – “You shouldn't really expect any sex at this point in our marriage?-“ – “Load the dishwasher!” or “Will you go and get me a coffee?”
/r/askMRP15/12/16 09:50 AM
4

This is the most concise guide I've found.
/r/askMRP15/12/16 07:58 AM
1

I think general advice is that dating should follow plate spinning best practices (lots about this on the main rp sub) and then, if you want to move into an LTR, there is a process for letting her earn your commitment and investment, which she should be actively pursing. Almost all of our MRP theory on how to handle a wife applies to LTRs. The difference is that everything should be easier with an LTR and no kids since you can walk away with fewer consequences, and that's the real power a man ha…
/r/askMRP15/12/16 05:51 AM
1

Yeah, me too.
/r/askMRP15/12/16 05:46 AM
6

You're the Head of Security for your family. Complete a risk assessment (with research, analysis of route, building) and make a decision whether this is a security procedure your family needs. You might find there are other options: mace, whistle.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/16 05:07 PM
9

I would like to hear from 26-39 year old guys here who believe in starting a family and having a great family life. What advice can you give us late 20s folks 38 yo dad of three here. 1) The real commitment is not marriage, its kids. Unless you have strong religious beliefs, you can walk away from marriage with little consequence. That being said, there is very little reason to get married, but kids are amazing. 2) Whether or not you get married, or stay married, or if the sky falls, you are goi…
/r/askMRP14/12/16 12:02 PM
1

100%. We walk alone. TFA has a great post about this somewhere.
/r/askMRP13/12/16 04:40 AM
3

Talking: it seems like an alternative to action, but accomplishes nothing aside from making you look like a beta idiot. Did you think that nice conversation about your feeelingz would get you out of having to do the work to become attractive? But, putting all that to one side I am thinking about breaking up, any reason you think not to? No, but you're going to have to do the work either way. Otherwise you'll just end up here with the next one.
/r/askMRP13/12/16 03:24 AM
7

I would have tried to fit the phrase "you throw like a girl" in there somewhere. But that was a difficult situation handled well. Nice work.
/r/askMRP12/12/16 04:22 PM
0

It starts with an annoying shit test. Typically a disrespectful tone complaint. I try to STFU, but end up either breathing heavily (a "puff") or laugh. Huffing and puffing is a bad response here. STFU is better than victim puking, but not great. Laughing is a good response though. But the thing is, if you laugh at the first shit test, then she escalates the criticism, you need to escalate the humor and refuse to take her seriously. This is key. Make her choose between taking herself less serious…
/r/askMRP12/12/16 01:41 PM
2

My kids eat a totally different diet to me. On weekdays I've adjusted my schedule to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at work. On weekends I sit with my kids while they eat but they don't sit with me while I eat and I generally prepare my own food.
/r/askMRP12/12/16 01:48 AM
1

Yup. Two of them are under 4 yo.
/r/askMRP11/12/16 05:37 PM
1

Ok so you've kind of answered What's your height, weight, bf%, bench and squat. Do you make plenty of money and lead an independent life? Do you have a regular social life outside of your home? I'd work on the following which are more important than money or muscles as your other post just illustrated. How often do you fail shit tests and get run around by your wife? Do you proactively own and lead all major areas of your life? When you ask her to wear thongs, do you authoritatively criticize or…
/r/askMRP11/12/16 04:20 PM
4

How much of the sidebar have you read? This is basic frame management. You're allowing her to define your version of the truth and the getting pissed when she uses that to fuck with you.
/r/askMRP11/12/16 04:13 PM
8

When she accused you of throwing the soup out, why wasn't your response a shrug? Why do you care what she does or says?
/r/askMRP11/12/16 04:04 PM
2

Yeah, as long as he keeps victim blaming his wife and refuses to look at himself, he is fucked.
/r/askMRP11/12/16 01:16 PM
0

A cornerstone of mrp is to stop relying on your wife to meet any of your emotional needs - approval, friendship, validation, sounding board, companionship. Any emotional need you rely on her for will be treated as a weakness, reacted to with disgust, used to attack you, and used to control you. She is not your friend. The only way I know of to do this is to get male friends. Get hobbies, join a martial arts club, get friendly with men at work. This is critical.
/r/askMRP10/12/16 05:23 PM
15

Alone. I'm 7 weeks in 15 lbs down and I haven't even told her about it. I just make vague excuses about having had a big lunch, or not eating before I lift. Fuck what your wife thinks. No one puts food in your mouth but you.
/r/askMRP10/12/16 01:48 PM
3

You're fucked dude. A lot of us are in the same position as op in that respect and getting a lot better results than a dead bedroom and an angry askmrp shitpost. MRP works but op has to actually put the work in, which we have zero reason to believe he's done.
/r/askMRP10/12/16 01:10 PM
6

How does one break this deadlock? Either attract her, or if you're already attractive, go chase other women and start moving on. Lets see if we can determine whether you're already attractive or just an angry fat pussy. What's your height, weight, bf%, bench and squat. How often do you fail shit tests and get run around by your wife? Do you proactively own and lead all major areas of your life? Or is she nagging your because you haven't fixed the furnace in two months and its getting cold? Do yo…
/r/askMRP10/12/16 08:14 AM
1

This is it, this is the purpose of my post. Fight Club too I reckon.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/16 03:35 PM
2

But I really need to know how to move forward here. You're in this situation because you demonstrated weakness. Consistently demonstrate strength in the future to fix it.
/r/askMRP09/12/16 03:31 PM
5

I used to have a photo from my first deployment where I was covered in nastiness and I had the biggest, most stupid smile on. I know that smile. The same condition can be found in heavy contact martial arts. When you're getting ready for a fight, the guys in your gym destroy you to get you ready. The heavy sparring, face smashed up, pools of sweat all over the ring, no politeness, or girlie bullshit, just strength, sweat and brotherhood. You might win, you might lose, but you'll bring a fucking …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/16 04:57 PM
1

Here's the Red Pill reality: That day will never come! You have to keep ahead of her for now until the end of time. Her hamster will never rest so why would you? If realizing this reality makes you tired, frustrated, or sad then go fuck yourself because there's not an alternative. You fucked up when you took the Red Pill, you were probably happier and better suited for Blue Pill reality instead of this. Leave this forum to the real men. Conflict is our path because it is our creator. The god of …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/16 09:19 AM
2

Here's my question: is the fact that she is testing me like this right after hard no's (pretty much the only time she has been really testing me lately) a good thing? Or a sign I am headed in the wrong direction? Your initiating causes her to realize she is not attracted to you, so she tests you to challenge you to demonstrate attractiveness. Its kind of like you're a salesman pressuring her to buy a widget and she responds with "No, I don't want to buy your widget, prove to me that its worth so…
/r/askMRP07/12/16 08:26 AM
1

I was also thinking of how there is nowhere in the world I’d rather be than laying on that bed with both of their little heads on my chest listening to them lightly snoring The days of family naps are numbered. Soon they'll be gone forever until grandkids come. Plenty of time to work and travel after the kids are grown. The opposite is not necessarily true, at least with an individual woman as she ages. I've traveled around the world for years, family naps with my little boys are better.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/16 02:59 AM
2

A right of passage is critical for the very tangible form of courage it creates. If a man has never faced something terrifying, how can he know that he's not a coward that will react with panic in the face of a trial and fail? Once you've done something utterly terrifying and been fine, this question is answered, you know you're not a coward and everyday shit doesn't scare you because its way less scary than what you handled in the past. With me it was my first kickboxing fight in front of thous…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/16 02:50 AM
0

The difference between Possibility 1 and 2 may be whether she is attracted to you. What is your height, weight, bench, bf%, where are you on game?
/r/askMRP05/12/16 02:06 PM
2

She throws out your things and writes stupid notes because shes not scared of your reaction. Change that by becoming more valuable and making her regret her misbehaviour.
/r/askMRP04/12/16 01:52 PM
1

I had spun a web of pleasing everybody but myself. Why was that the most sensible way to live?
/r/askMRP02/12/16 03:33 PM
1

Question is this: how long, or how many times will I need to hold frame, call her on her shit, and be the oak in her storm before crying, silent treatment, and repeatedly calling me a shovenistic ass doesn't last for 2 days at a time? About 8 months and 3 main events in my case. But it does work and you will eventually get there. I walked into our bedroom where my wife was and told her that she'd been disrespectful and dishonest, and that she would NEVER try that shit again. The fact that you to…
/r/askMRP02/12/16 12:59 PM
1

A speaker tape I was listening to recently defined alcoholism as the restless, irritable discontent feeling that causes the compulsion to drink. A lot of my alcoholic and codependant behavior was seeking things outside myself to make me feel better and relieve that restless irritable, discontent feeling that I relieved with alcohol before I got sober. At the beginning of every meeting we read the pertinent idea (b) That probably no human power could have re­lieved our alcoholism. For me, women a…
/r/askMRP02/12/16 06:36 AM
4

Its easier and more fun to just be nice. I think a lot (most?) of us prefer it. But it will result in your being shat on, especially by women. The things I want in life are actively destroyed by me being nice - women fucking me, bosses promoting me, sales closing, people respecting me. Be nice with your parents, your male friends and your kids. No place for it in finance and romance.
/r/askMRP01/12/16 07:28 AM
8

What would you guys have done differently? Left her immediately after the abortion episode. That was the end of the relationship. Providing tons of beta support to your current woman to deal with the fact that some other man impregnated her, is a huge display of low value. Notice how Chad did the opposite of that and she's trying to go back to him. I guarantee that her mental reaction to that was "Wow, its great that you're helping me, but you must really have no other romantic options and reall…
/r/askMRP01/12/16 02:33 AM
1

Posting on askmrp inquiring how to run that budget meeting might move you towards progress. This post is you jerking your hamster.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/16 04:44 PM
4

Your expectation is a covert contract, drop it completely as its part of your problem. Make progress until you're hot, which is probably 6 months if you work hard.
/r/askMRP30/11/16 11:04 AM
1

We can teach you how to become stronger and manage your women so that you're a leader and have options other than sitting there like a nervous spectator at a dog fight.
/r/askMRP30/11/16 02:29 AM
3

Lead by doing what you do (lifting, improving, preparing) because its the right thing for you as a man and for your family, and let those be the only reasons. Other people's actions should not be material. The difference between leading and covert contracts is in your beta dependence on their actions.
/r/askMRP29/11/16 06:25 AM
5

It's called a free-pass or a hall-pass, or a get out of jail free. I feel like OP could probably walk away, use her choice of company to get custody of the kids, and be on his merry way. A lot of people trapped in bad marriages would kill for that.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 03:13 AM
4

She apologized, that's good. Reward good behavior. Don't make her sorry she behaved reasonably.
/r/askMRP28/11/16 04:49 PM
0

Keep it simple and strong. I will point out that I'm personally satisfied with the way I carry myself as a father and husband. And I would add that " I am not concerned with her opinion on those subjects" This is also solid I will abort discussion if shit escalates towards an argument. When she starts throwing a fit (i.e. trying to intimidate you with her anger) I'm a fan of the line "Look I'm not going to communicate with you when you're acting like a child, if you want to discuss matters like …
/r/askMRP28/11/16 08:11 AM
1

What does the change in your wife's behavior look like?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/16 02:18 AM
2

I am currently sober over a month, have a steady job and go to 12 step meetings for continued sobriety. If you're an alcoholic like they describe in the books (as opposed to a heavy drinker), you'll probably have to do a bit more than the standard MRP stuff. Without getting rid of the restless, irritable, discontent, resentful, fearful feeling associated with alcoholism as a mental illness, the things we do here will be virtually impossible. I'm talking about that terrible gnawing feeling that y…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/16 02:13 AM
5

The bank lends you money when they have a high degree of confidence in your long term strength and you need the money temporarily to grow further. But get in a tough spot where you're at risk of real failure with no collateral and they don't want to know your name. Same dynamic I reckon.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/16 09:31 AM
2

My wife's got a prominent, visible job in the school system. This means she's interacting in a professional context and you should be much more polite because it could effect her credibility at work. In any other context I'd suggest the following. I get the "You can wait" finger. I fume on the inside Next time - turning to the other man with a big smile Ha, see if you can teach her some manners. Lord knows I've tried, ha ha. walk away Don't be rude, impatient and butthurt cause its weak. A littl…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/16 02:15 AM
9

My weakness will be met with disgust. I have a rule: if she shit tests me about something I've shared with her (its pathetic that you can't even handle your targets at work and it makes you so stressed), I never discuss it with her again. After applying this rule for a while, no matter what is happening My job is tedious, how was your day? I slept fine last night, how was your pedicure? My shoulder is fine, how is your yoga? I'm sure it will be fine, how were the kids today? I ate something earl…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 11:23 PM
1

I remember when you started. Politeness, respect and sexual consideration were not even on the radar; you doubted that they were possible. Yeah, that's true. The deference, admiration, and submission, might follow a similar, but much slower path. Might do. Submission requires trust, which comes with time and consistency. Do you think that they are more possible/probable than they were when you started RP? Much more.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 11:04 PM
0

Aren't you already getting this on a slowly increasing basis? Hard to say. This is what I'm trying to understand. Some things change (politeness, respect, sexual consideration). Some things don't (deference, admiration, submission). Is what I see just part of a gradual quantitative change towards what I want? Maybe, not sure.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 11:21 AM
0

Its true, I do want her on her hands and knees more often.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 10:54 AM
1

you want to FEEL that she desires you for you and not the fear of loosing you. Still BP fantasy and Disney. No. I have no illusions about the nature of her "love". Any weakness on my part will be met with disgust and if I stop delivering she'll be eyeing the door in a week. And that's exactly the way it should be. The problem is that there's a level of attraction and submission I'm not achieving and without it my sex life and marriage isn't as hot and intimate as it could be.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 10:52 AM
1

Consider the porn effect. Yeah, what I'm looking for is deference, admiration and sexual submission, but perhaps that is a porn-like MRP fantasy, at least for me, right now, with this woman (who I chose).
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/16 05:19 PM
0

Good question. I think I would see deference and a recognition of my value, judgement, superiority (in some areas of life, not all) and that she was lucky to have me. But I'm kind going off of what the mods and other senior approved guys describe as the change in their wives - an element of deference in the relationship, admiration driving attraction which translates into sexual submission in the bedroom. I have politeness, respect and good service in the bedroom, which I think is different, alt…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/16 04:55 PM
1

Fair point, lets look it up - "the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person." Yup, my wife does not do that.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/16 04:44 PM
0

I'm guessing you backed off as well, so it's working as intended No, because I know where that road leads. In each case I told her to divorce me if she felt that was best but I was going to do what was right for me. This is why she almost never fights with me anymore - she knows I'll hold frame and she'll lose. But I think you're right about this what you're getting is placation and tactical retreats.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/16 02:14 PM
3

Not Under Control My wife's submission - my wife doesn't submit to me for shit, never has and probably never will. She's a stone cold feminist career bitch and I don't think I've ever seen her submit to a man, even when we were both young and living together in California. In the past year of MRP we've had a number of main events and I've won all of them with progressively profuse apologies from her, but not submission. Once I am very physically attractive, we'll see if we can have a good marria…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/16 12:53 PM
7

Do you have any history of cheating? It's weird for a woman to be that jealous once you've gotten a confirmed medical diagnosis to explain why you've been acting like you have. Her demanding to GPS track you is very extreme. More generally, the overwhelming experience here is that women will not support you if you get sick and can't provide. If you want to get back together with her (and that's got to be your call) I'd buy time and delay for now, get fully healthy (and jacked if possible), and t…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/16 11:30 AM
5

This is the best guide on passing shit tests I've found. It helped me a lot in early days. That covers the technical test/response element. But also look at the emotional element. Since passing shit tests is as technically simple as smiling and walking away, an inability to pass shit tests usually stems from an inability defy a woman in the presence of her disapproval. Work on the technical and the emotional side of it.
/r/askMRP22/11/16 10:56 AM
5

My wife has given me permission to go have fun. I have been very clear with her that I do not give her the same permission. There are few different elements to the question you're asking. 1) Should you ever release your wife from her monogamy commitment. Firstly, if she pushes for this its a huge red flag and she's almost certainly been cheating for a long time and is tired of hiding it. You allowing her to fuck other men while you're beta will be a huge DLV that you will probably never recover …
/r/askMRP21/11/16 02:24 AM
2

Is it alpha to eyeball other women in front of your wife? If you oggle other women like Mr. Bean, its pretty beta. If you eye fuck a woman like Han Solo and then you're like "Whatever, you know I'm a scoundrel", then maybe. Like most things, it isn't inherently either. But I think you're focusing on the wrong element of this. The question you really want to ask is whats the best response when your wife shit tests you about checking out other women.
/r/askMRP20/11/16 10:35 AM
4

SMV I am fit and slim and reasonably good looking Op, if you had been hitting heavy weights properly for the past 3 months you'd be pretty jacked by now and we probably wouldn't be having this conversation. where she would normally threaten divorce or separation when she wanted to end the conversation. And the conversation would end with you folding right? Yeah mine used to do the same. I have been quite a needy man, in that if we argue I will wan't to talk and settle it, where she has always pr…
/r/askMRP19/11/16 01:44 PM
2

I keep thinking I'm taking her emotions too seriously. I'm not being enough of an asshole in this regard. You have more choices than just being a beta or an asshole. You can refuse to be controlled by her disapproval and not let her decide whether your behavior is acceptable (cause you're a grown man who decides his own standards) but also not actively be an insulting asshole without a good reason. Just laugh, joke, tease, shrug and treat her judgement of you as irrelevant.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 06:12 PM
1

Recently on wife's bday I'm a pretty big asshole to my wife when given half a reason to be. But even I try to be nice to her on her birthday. "no, I also like your baking" Good response, but say it while laughing and give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead at the same time. verbally abusive captain Nothing you said qualifies as verbal abuse. I'd like to tell her once she's had some time that I failed her and the family and that I owe the her and the family better. I wouldn't go that far. You w…
/r/askMRP17/11/16 04:29 PM
3

Are you working? Or are you unemployed and your unemployment is forcing her to work 13 hours days at a job she hates and all she wants to do when she gets home is drink and sleep?
/r/askMRP16/11/16 04:06 PM
1

I would separate the question of "Do I want kids" from "Do I want to coparent with this woman". Kids are amazing. My older son is literally my favorite thing in life so far. I don't regret my kids in the slightest and will take care of them for the rest of my life no matter the cost. I regret my terrible choice of a domineering woman, who wasn't attracted to me, as a wife. And all of things that bring men to MRP (endless shit testing, lack of sex, lack of attraction) will get MUCH worse with bab…
/r/askMRP16/11/16 01:35 AM
1

OK, this is called a Main Event. You can read more about this here. Many (most?) of us have this experience a few months after we start improving and stop being controlled by our wives. In the past year of MRP I've had a few of them. The key element here is that this happens in the middle of a fight where the woman is losing control, escalating and uses the divorce threat over something small to try to intimidate you back into beta submission. The general consensus is that the best response to t…
/r/askMRP16/11/16 01:23 AM
1

This was the third time she used divorce to manipulate me Help me understand the situation. How did she use divorce to manipulate you? Did she tell you to do something, you said no, she got mad, you told her to fuck off and then she threatened to divorce you if you didn't do what she said and apologize for your insolence? That's what we see around here a lot and what my wife used to do.
/r/askMRP15/11/16 03:51 PM
1

After birth of 2yo, wife deployed a nuclear ultimatum. I had been "mapping" softly due to pregnancy, and continued this for the lactating year that followed, trying to not rock the boat too much for the hormonal shifts. The nuclear bomb fizzed since I had already started an exit plan, but simply didn't plan on this timing. To clean up the bomb, did two years of the marriage couneling thing with a sex therapist of my choice. So did OP lose a Main Event two years ago?
/r/askMRP15/11/16 07:14 AM
1

A few weeks ago I realized there were some things that could be a lot better so now I'm doing whats right for me as a man The more important point is to never, never, never entertain the idea that she gets to decide whether you do your new things. When she tries, you just say "I'm doing whats right for me as a man and I'm not concerned about your opinion on that subject", then STFU and go do it.
/r/askMRP14/11/16 04:33 PM
1

You can't fix her lack of attraction with sundaes. You might be able to fix it with wholesale change in your life and your marriage. If you don't feel like making her a sundae, then say "I don't feel like making sundaes tonight" and be done with it.
/r/askMRP11/11/16 02:49 AM
5

His advice was take it slow, read the side bar and slowly change the world around you so that you can make your own decisions. Exactly which element of this do you find impossible and why?
/r/askMRP11/11/16 02:45 AM
1

What are your thoughts on direct conflict with the spouse? I very rarely start a fight because I have better things to do, but if she's disrespectful, I attack her (verbally/emotionally), make it hurt (again verbally/emotionally) to impose a cost for her misbehavior and refuse to lose by holding frame and counterattacking. As a consequence my wife no longer views shit testing as a way to get things she wants. I also make sure I try to add a lot of value to her life to balance this negative facto…
/r/askMRP06/11/16 04:16 PM
1

She has made it clear that she doesn't want to put our lives on hold waiting for each other, but also has made it sound like she wants to end up together in a few years after we get our individual shit together. She's telling you that she wants to keep riding the CC, have fun until she's a bit closer to the wall, keep you orbiting and on deck to be her betabux when she feels like getting married. Follow that path and you'll be back here posting about how you're trapped in a terrible deadbedroom …
/r/askMRP05/11/16 04:13 PM
1

Find a good hobby that involves other people meets from 7pm to 9pm and then go out with people afterwards. Kickboxing or jujitsu would be good examples.
/r/askMRP05/11/16 04:09 PM
2

I believe it is my responsibility to lead in this, but I also believe in the power and truth of the axioms above. How do I reconcile this? That 2/3 rule applies to affection, communication and generosity in the relationship - the things she wants. It doesn't apply to things that are your job like initiating and leadership. It would not make any sense to initiate 2/3 of the amount she does or lead 2/3 of the amount she does. I know the initial response here --- you're not attractive enough. Becom…
/r/askMRP05/11/16 04:04 PM
3

Now I know it's nothing to be ashamed of, but the young human mind does some funky things to survive. Congrats on facing that. That's courage.
/r/askMRP03/11/16 02:55 PM
4

This is a common story in alcoholics anonymous and narcotics anonymous - a man is a functioning alcoholic, loves to party and gets together with a sweet girl who is kind of crazy. They get married, he gets worse and for the next 10 years life is out of control - active addiction, jails, fights, unemployment - and the woman is a bit of a martyr, kind of hates him, but is totally ride or die for her man, against the best advice of her friends and family who can't understand why she stays. The man …
/r/askMRP03/11/16 02:50 PM
2

I know, I know... "I would have nexted her and you didn't because you don't have any balls... and I can deadlift more than you." Whatever. No. I would have laughed at her. Invited her to save her emotional bullshit for her little gay best friend and the come bend over for me. Especially if he lived on another continent and there was virtually no chance of her seeing him in person. I understand that emotional affairs can't be tolerated long term because of the risk of them turning physical, but I…
/r/askMRP03/11/16 07:29 AM
5

1) am I right? Is this a power play? Yes. The real battle is who gets to decide acceptable behavior, criticize the other and enforce their own rules, as this is the basis of dominance in humans in personal relationships. That's the real game she's playing, whether she knows it consciously or not. 2) if women really want an alpha (which I think deep down they do), why do they seem to try and "get their little beta bitch back?" If you fold she gets a beta servant. If you stand strong she gets the …
/r/askMRP02/11/16 08:31 AM
2

Don't be this captain Be this captain.
/r/askMRP02/11/16 03:51 AM
1

My wife trusts her father more than anyone, including me. And yet her desire to dominate is immense. That's good, you should be able to work with that. Not sure how long you've been doing this MRP stuff as it will frequently take 5 or 6 months of improvement before a women will really trust. And if you think about how long you would need to see a work colleague changing before you really trusted them, that timeline is pretty reasonable. But if you keep improving, she should eventually trust, rel…
/r/askMRP02/11/16 03:30 AM
5

My experience is consistent with /u/screechhater 's statement. When you stop reacting to her shit tests or deal with them, they will subside. Coming from a place where my wife disrespected, criticized and ran me around on a daily basis, my wife is now respectful to me almost all the time because she knows that shit tests will be ignored, deflected or nuked. She doesn't start fights because she knows that she won't win them and I'll make it a painful experience. I don't win them either as she doe…
/r/askMRP02/11/16 02:26 AM
2

3 weeks ago she went cold shoulder on me. I'm struggling with OI. If you have the strength to lead, the disapproval of your wife shouldn't be a problem and she's going to see if it is. That's the cost of what you want. So ignore her disapproval and lead. Be cheerful and unconcerned. Solve problems around the house. Solve problems in her life, don't tell her you've done it, let her just find things fixed, improved and problems solved. STFU and silently show her you leading your ship to better pla…
/r/askMRP01/11/16 05:22 PM
1

My situation is complicated and the big picture financial stuff will take time to re-position. But you're right that the financial fallout wouldn't be major, and any amount of money is much less important than the kids. Actually my comment was more aimed at the state of new guys when they arrive. My marriage has improved tremendously in the last year of MRP and looks better every day.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 05:05 PM
2

as I am getting out of the rocker to head out she punches me in the head...hard. Tell her that was unacceptable and you have a lot on your mind so you'll be going for a bit to think about things. Then leave and go to a hotel for 2 days. Let her think about whether she values you.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 04:39 PM
1

You assume too much about which legal system would be involved
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 02:37 PM
1

I will point out that there is unlikely major "financial fall out" if the wife has a "lucrative career". If she plays nice.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 01:22 PM
9

Keeping your 70yo wife attracted to you simply doesn’t come with the same obstacles modern men trying to keep a <25yo 8+/10 in 2016 attracted face. I'm not sure either of those scenarios are as difficult as building (not maintaining) attraction in a 30 yo HB8.5, feminist, lucrative career having, maybe alpha widowed from cheating with hawt guys at work in her 20s, wife who hasn't been attracted to you in 5 years but married you as the "safe guy" she wanted to use as additional financial security…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 10:08 AM
0

That's a great breakdown. Women are the way they are for solid biological reasons that are intricately interwoven with what we are as human beings and what I am as a man. To say that women are wrong to be feminine is to criticize the sun for rising or the seasons for changing.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 07:12 AM
4

No it's not come to that stage, but I am preparing myself for when it may. If you're here, reading the sidebar, its unlikely to get to that stage as you'll get more redpill, not more bluepill. But also recognize a few things about women. 1) Their communication is an expression of what they feel in that moment. Her saying "It's about us and you should at least discuss with me" is just her communicating that she feels like she doesn't have enough control over her life and is scared some negative p…
/r/askMRP01/11/16 03:49 AM
1

I think life is too short to deny yourself things you really want. But fuck her or don't, stop wasting time in your short life.
/r/askMRP01/11/16 03:19 AM
7

Its depends completely on the decision. You're the captain and she's the first officer. Some decisions you discuss, some you don't. You should discuss buying a house. You should not discuss whether you are going to the gym. But is that the real problem? Or is the real problem that, when you discuss things, you always lose the argument because she intimidates you with her disapproval and "forces" you to do what she wants? That's why my wife used to always want to discuss things.
/r/askMRP01/11/16 03:10 AM
2

Understand that the real fight is over whether she gets to control and decide your behavior... in your own head . Once you get it that she doesn't get to decide for you what you do, that you've never agreed to let her decide your behavior, and you will reject her assertions that she gets to decide for you what you will do, all of this gets real simple.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 05:27 PM
2

I suggest the following response. You - "Yesterday I agreed not to leave while we're in the middle of a dispute. I've thought about that and it was wrong for me to agree to that. As an independent adult I choose who I spend my time around. If I don't want to spend time with someone, I won't be spending time with them. If you want me to spend time around you, I suggest you make yourself pleasant company. If you want to discuss something about our relationship, that's fine, we will do it at a time…
/r/askMRP31/10/16 02:48 PM
2

You spend a lot of time paying her attention while she's being a bitch. This is stupid. Spend a little time with her and then bail to go do something else if she's unpleasant. Rinse. Repeat.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 01:57 PM
10

Because having a hand is like having a never ending sandwich in your pocket. Class.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/16 04:49 AM
1

When women say "Just Be Yourself" what they mean is "I've been attracted to confident attractive men who DGAF what I thought of them and were undefended about who they were and what they wanted". Its not necessarily the wrong advice, there is an attraction strategy around being "undefended" and showing women you DNGAF what they think or do. But saying "Just be yourself" to an unattractive, insecure beta with no game is similar to saying "Just close the sales" to someone who has no experience sel…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/16 02:31 PM
2

Yup. Facing the brutal truth is our way.
/r/askMRP30/10/16 05:21 AM
18

I just need to know that there is someone out there who understands what I am going through. See I would say you need to know your legal and financial options for walking away while maintaining a relationship with your son and some financial security. Here's the problem - you can probably forgive her infidelity, but if you do it will be such a huge display of low value in her eyes that she'll lose all respect for you and never be attracted to you again. Especially if you forgive her because you …
/r/askMRP29/10/16 02:57 PM
2

Yeah the sad part is that any idiot who says this is probably right. And the thing thats worse is that he thinks she's going to view this statement as positive.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 01:29 PM
5

Next day, my son who is just a few weeks back from basic training, and showed some initial signs of maturing into a man, comes up to me and tells me he does not like the way I talked to "his mother". That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, mos…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 11:28 AM
1

I agree. AWALT. Pat test your kids. If you catch her cheating, leave immediately. Aside from that, who gives a fuck what silly women do. Go have fun yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/16 04:32 PM
3

In the second case, its the smiling woman. After the first pass she knows he cant tell who it is. When he dies she'll get all his money, become an independent woman of the court and maybe go back to fucking King Chad (who is clearly rp as fuck) from time to time.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/16 02:23 PM
1

We all have a need for social connection and companionship, that's totally normal and not a weakness. But any need I have that I look to a woman to meet, will be used to attack and dominate me. If I make my wife my primary source of social connection, I will have given her the power to make me feel existentially lonely when she attacks me. And she will use that power to attack me, at least my wife definitely will. I suggest you get those needs met by a group of men and maybe a dog. One way to do…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/16 01:04 AM
3

How many male friends do you have that you spend time with regularly? Get that friendship from them.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/16 05:01 PM
2

Partially correct. Its not hardwired, its chosen with each interaction. If you choose to offer submission in exchange for social acceptance, you'll be allowed to stay in someone else's herd as a beta male. If you refuse, you get the opportunity to lead your herd (which might have a population of 1) as an alpha. We are herd animals and thats exactly why it matters.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/16 04:41 PM
2

Their main tools are judgement, shame, and consensus. When I feel pressure to accept the idea that someone else should decide for me the acceptability of my behavior with their judgment, its important to quietly ask myself why I think I need to let them decide that? Do I need something from them (and only them) that they can stop giving me? Can they threaten me with some unpleasant outcome like the police can? If not, they're probably just another irrelevant person, who is not on my team and I h…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/16 07:59 AM
6

The parable of the poisoned arrow. " It's just as if a man were wounded with an arrow thickly smeared with poison. His friends & companions, kinsmen & relatives would provide him with a surgeon, and the man would say, 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know whether the man who wounded me was a noble warrior, a priest, a merchant, or a worker.' He would say, 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know the given name & clan name of the man who wounded me... until I know whether he was tall…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/16 07:17 PM
3

She also "hangs" with guys a lot, plays poker, etc. Always has, even before we met. Totally normal at 21 when you met. Totally not normal at 32 married with 2 kids.
/r/askMRP26/09/16 12:25 AM
1

I had a similar pattern. A couple weeks after starting mrp we had lots of sex for a couple weeks. Then things got bad for a long time. Things will get worse before they get better. Do I keep initiating the touching and kissing in the face of the disinterest? Yes but you need to be totally NGAF (and not butthurt) when she declines, which she frequently will if you have 3 small kids. I don't think a wife should get a total pass on sex because of a baby, but one of the legit reasons to have no sex …
/r/askMRP26/09/16 12:05 AM
-4

Life's to short to say no to things you think you'd really enjoy. Its not my cup of tea, but if you think you would enjoy this then have fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/16 08:57 PM
6

What you're talking about isn't really open marriage where the two people love each other but are allowed to sleep around. Its more separation and co-parenting while living in the same house.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/16 08:51 PM
1

I think that's some solid defense. The best defense is an (alpha) offense so strong that you never have to defend, but that takes time. Nice work.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/16 08:45 PM
5

I bet divorcing over "parenting styles" means that she wanted to do nothing but kids stuff all the time and was a total bitch to him whenever he wanted to have a beer or fuck (sound familiar anyone?). Guys like Brad Pitt (and rock stars and pro athletes) have women trying to pull them in to closets to fuck all the time and he could have kept that discrete, but I hear it gets a bit impersonal after a decade or two. I bet he started a relationship with Marion Cotillard because she had a more Frenc…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/16 05:04 PM
2

You need to accept that you are living your life within the confines of what others have told you is acceptable. Have you ever realized that your actions up to this point can be, with great accuracy, aligned with how others wanted you to perform? Its all the same thing: shit tests from a woman, do the right thing, happy wife happy life, morality that was never questioned, be grateful for what your work gives you, consumerism. Its all me letting other people make decisions for me about whether my…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/16 04:38 PM
12

Women intuitively understand that the real game of power is not based on the facts of the situation, its who gets to make the decisions. The most important elements of the interactions you describe are 1) who gets to make the decisions of whether the behavior is acceptable and 2) whether the behavior needs to change. By criticizing the man, a woman asserts her right to make these decision. DEERing may dispute some facts in the current situation but, by petitioning for her approval, it loses the …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/16 04:19 PM
1

My experience is that underneath validation seeking is a lie of some kind. As successful adult men we have needs (sex, money, friendship, relationships with kids), but validation is not one of them. I think I need validation because I think I'll get something else from it. When this is seen clearly I can stop seeking that validation because I realize its stupid and unnecessary. So, if I were you, the questions I would ask myself in order to try to get that lie out in the open and see whats going…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/16 06:43 AM
2

OP a lot of us have a Main Event about 3 months into a MAP where our wives get angry, shit test and threaten divorce trying to intimidate us back into beta submission. That does not sound like what's happening to you.
/r/askMRP20/09/16 06:08 PM
3

Told to go get it else where and for her to not find out (lol). You're 9 months into a MAP, you should be in a position to go fuck other women if you want to. How's your game? The dread of me improving isnt resulting in more sex and affection What stage of dread are you on? Sounds like 4. You might find some strange pussy gives you some perspective, OI, abundance and you learn some important lessons. What's stopping you? Honestly, a lot of men would kill for this, why don't you want to exercise …
/r/askMRP20/09/16 06:35 AM
3

A shit test is an unreasonable request or unreasonable tone. she asked if I could get her some Cheerios - I said sure since I was already standing and walking towards the kitchen and brought them to her. Sounds reasonable to me.
/r/askMRP19/09/16 05:08 PM
5

I make a suggestion that she didnt like. In her response she called me a "fucking idiot". There's probably a few different things happening here. A womans biggest biological risk is having kids with an unreliable man. She's had 3 kids with a beta man who has just started refusing to follow her instructions. This is going to make her very insecure and shes going to try to regain control. I would focus on family leadership before you focus on alpha independence. Also, with three kids she will feel…
/r/askMRP19/09/16 09:49 AM
1

She prevents me from having crippling loneliness The question is why you dislike yourself so much in the absense of distraction from other people (the feeling you identify as crippling loneliness) and then try to use this terrible woman to relieve it? Why do you do that OP? I used to do it because I thought I wasn't allowed to like myself until I was successful enough with women (and money). How about you?
/r/askMRP19/09/16 09:12 AM
18

Their main goal is equality, which creates unrealistic expectations for women. They expect "equal" romantic relationships to work and they don't. Women are hypergamous and are attracted to men who are better (emotionally stronger, more dominant, more economicly successful) than they are. Feminism tells them that being "less than" a man is a personal failure of theirs, unacceptable shitlord behaviour of the man or oppression and they need to fight it. Imagine we men had a philosophical movement t…
/r/TheRedPill18/09/16 02:19 PM
3

She's attracted to your strength and is trying to get you to show it. Physical strength I swear she trys to get me to wrestle or fight her before sex Persistence She will initiate sex then move away from my advances and encourage me to chase her. Emotional strength Sometimes I will initiate and she accepts but then just talks horrible shit. Natural genetic strength The problem is, she REFUSES to acknowledge it and even hints that discussing it is a turnoff. OP, your girl seems really cool becaus…
/r/askMRP18/09/16 06:42 AM
1

I understand desire and attraction. If I had to explain this then clearly you don't, but you do you.
/r/askMRP18/09/16 06:33 AM
9

we are trying to have sex at least fri and sat no matter what She probably thought this was a good idea when she said it. And that will have no causal effect on whether she is attracted to you and wants to have sex on those days. Covert contracts don't cause women to want sex. Neither do overt contracts like this or marriage. Attract her or jerk off.
/r/askMRP17/09/16 02:05 PM
4

War Brides was brutal. Yes and we should always recognize both sides of that coin. Today's women are the descendants of war brides. We are the descendants of war husbands. They are what they are because we are what we are. People shouldn't take these things too personally. We're all gods children.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/16 04:47 AM
5

But, if she has in the past, it's still over. That's a deal breaker for me. Oh, you should definitely leave if you find out she cheated. But what you posted is about the suspicion of her cheating fucking with you. There is a beta emotional/behavioral pattern we see all the time on askmrp that goes something like the following Husband needs validation from wife -> he gets needy and controlling trying to force wife to validate him -> wife gets more turned off by this DLV and disengages but sees th…
/r/askMRP16/09/16 03:10 AM
3

Trying to control another person is a fools errand. You need to attract her into not cheating, as opposed to controlling her into not cheating.
/r/askMRP16/09/16 02:37 AM
2

Now maybe I have a special snowflake, but I break ranks with TRP on the concept of all women being children. I agree. My wife is not a child. Nothing close. I wish she was like a child.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/16 01:54 PM
1

You are not HAWT yet at 19% BF. It has been said often in these parts that below 15% a switch is often flipped in women's mind. Before MRP I had times when, due to intense athletic hobbies, I got down to probably 9% bf and totally jacked. This had no effect on her, but I was pretty blue pill at the time. I'll definitely get ripped before leaving, just to see ifthat does it. Is wife SAHM and how old is youngest? Yes, temporarily. She's currently unemployed despite having a great career in marketi…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/16 01:48 PM
3

While I generally agree with your point, not all women are down to forgive physical infidelity, no matter how high her man's SMV. Its also important to point out that the conversation I was having with my wife was hypothetical. It would be interesting to see if she would still feel like that if I'd just cheated.
/r/askMRP15/09/16 01:03 PM
1

I have a problem with divorce threats. I just treat them like any other shit testing tactic she uses to try to intimidate me into submission. I shrug and respond within my frame ignoring, trivislizing or attacking what she says. Its the same as her criticism.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/16 03:59 PM
1

When you feel it, seize it and analyze it. Find the source of the fear and take your analysis a step further. Fear is generally caused by relying on something external for something important. So the first 2 analysis questions should be what am I scared of and what am I trying to get from the object of my fear. Most men who honestly ask these questions with social and romantic fears (80% of modern mans fear/stress?) will find that they are relying on the opinions of other people (like their wife…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/16 03:03 PM
2

Understand that your wife may have a bigger problem with whats currently going on than if you had actually plated this girl or fucked this girl and been done with it.
/r/askMRP14/09/16 06:06 AM
1

Threatening to divorce you is not disrespect? She's virtually never disrespectful in the course of day to day affairs as a part of our normal life. During arguments she's disrespectful, but I feel like that's different? You apologizing is 'winning' an argument? Her apologizing. What does it look like to 'lose' an argument? Me apologizing when I'm not wrong, which used to happen frequently in the blue pill past. But that hasn't happened in maybe 9 months.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/16 03:09 AM
0

Current 11 months into a MAP. Areas Not Under Control My Wife's Admiration - My wife does not admire me or look up to me and I'm not sure this is ever going to change. After 11 months of MRP I understand that the only way this really works is if my wife looks up to me, trusts me and can relax and let me handle things as a stronger man. I don't think my wife has done that with a man since she was a teenager. She's a dedicated feminist, strong career woman, her father left when she was a little gi…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/16 04:31 PM
0

GF: Did you send me a pic from your ex's page??? Me (fogging): It appears that I did, yeah. Yeah I'd have gone with - "All the pictures I send you are from ex's pages, is that a problem?" She gets up and throws some money on the table: Here's for the steak. Have fun chatting up your exes. You - You gonna finish that? points to steak
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/16 08:14 AM
3

(M29, F26, together 7 years/married 1). Whatever you do, don't have kids until you've fixed this. It's how to figure out what that new path should be that's baffling me. Don't get lost trying to pick the perfect path. For now, go with whatever is in front of you and give it everything youve got. Whatever it is, absolutely kill it. While you're doing that, keep your eyes open for the long term path. I'm more of an act-er than a thinker I guess. Good. Start acting. This will create opportunities.
/r/askMRP12/09/16 04:12 AM
4

2 . Once the form of your fear is recognized, meditate on its cause. Again, anger is fear of criticism. Overwork is fear of failure, etc. 3 . With the form and cause of your fear now acknowledged, begin to train your mind to respond differently to the stimulus that brings that fear forward. In addition to "train your mind to respond differently", men can also change the structure of their dependency. A frequent cause of my fear is relying and depending on an unreliable person for something impor…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/16 02:35 AM
5

I am allowed to do any amount of cardio - biking, swimming etc. Circuits are good.
/r/askMRP11/09/16 04:59 PM
7

Without saying it what we are trying to do is change your personality. When people are young these things are fluid but once a person is in their 30's, serious personality change takes a huge amount of effort and time. My experience (here and in other organisations) is that people will only go through that process if they have a major life problem (denied sex while trapped in a monogamous relationship) and no other easier choice. Out of this huge conflict comes the opportunity for the creation o…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/16 06:36 AM
6

You can't think your way into right acting but you can act your way into right thinking.
/r/askMRP10/09/16 02:41 PM
1

The thing is, many guys who work with their hands and bodies, are buff, and tend to be assumed as masculine aren't actually masculine when it comes to their relationships with women. My experience is that a lot of bluepill men go into mma and martial arts because they intuitively feel their beta weakness but can't figure out how to fix the real problem.
/r/TheRedPill10/09/16 02:34 PM
0

Good post and a super important concept - I should expect zero emotional support from my wife. Just like I should expect zero emotional support from my kids. Its not their job and for good reason. I treat my interaction with my wife like a date - the purpose is to attract her so why would I discuss topics that aren't attractive? Anytime I feel the need to deviate from this I need to look at my own motivation.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/16 01:43 PM
2

I'm interested as MRP hates victims pukes We hate victim pukes but we don't tell people not to post them here. Victim pukes get pulled apart and shit on, as they should be. How else can noobs make progress if their bullshit isn't posted on askmrp, dissected, criticized and explained why its defective.
/r/askMRP09/09/16 06:10 PM
1

Sure. I might not be able to rely for a few hours but I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
/r/askMRP09/09/16 04:24 PM
2

What does it mean when your wife ... says she wants to feel more wanted? Your wife is insecure. She thinks that more attention from higher value men will fix this. Some insecure men are the same way. They think more attraction from hotter women will make them feel better. Read, lift, keep working on you. Make yourself more valuable and fill that need for high value attention as much as you can.
/r/askMRP09/09/16 06:08 AM
9

Mine used to do exactly the same thing. You're doing pretty well, except for this I apologized for yelling at her in the car. Did she apologize for any of the ridiculous and unacceptable things she did? See what she really did there was re-establish that she gets to decide whether your behavior is acceptable, not you. I think you'll find that she will not tolerate you deciding that her behavior is unacceptable and trying to enforce that decision on her. That's how women dominate men. So admit to…
/r/askMRP09/09/16 06:04 AM
3

80% of RP theory can be boiled down to finding positive ways to deal with life's stresses. Confict is the driving creative force in this world. The biggest bp lie is that this can be avoided with cooperation and submission. I think 80% of RP is accepting this truth and responding to conflict with strength.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/16 02:47 AM
5

The point here is that words potentially offer an explicit and direct explanation of observed changes in behavior. I agree. The one time I've found a small amount of talking to be useful is to frame or explain my behavior after I've just done a bunch of acta non verba stuff that surprises her and she doesn't really know whats going on. After taking action, I can throw her a few sentences to tell her how to interpret the actions. That can be useful.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/16 01:44 PM
2

Focus on what you need to do today. Then do the same thing tomorrow.
/r/askMRP08/09/16 02:54 AM
1

We all came here feeling insecure. We found MRP because major areas of our lives were failing. So I think we can all relate to how you feel. A few questions. 1) What do you think would make you worthy in your own eyes? If you had more money? Women? If god gave you a certificate of worth? 2) What have you chased (money, women, prestige?) trying to become worthy in your own eyes? 3) Have you always been this way?
/r/askMRP08/09/16 02:50 AM
2

Its the day-to-day interactions with my wife where I struggle to maintain dominance. Looking for practical steps to improve here. Have you read WISNIFG? That's important. Dominance is about a dominant person having the right to make decisions for the submissive person. This is what you call "enforcing her will". Watch what decisions she's trying to make for you (whether you do things for her, whether your behavior is acceptable, how the dishwasher should be loaded, whether you punish your child,…
/r/askMRP08/09/16 02:36 AM
6

I am trying to figure out how this translates to Married Red Pill guys. Its applicable to affairs. /u/AdderallAbuse had a solid point a while back: show no provider traits to your plates/sidepieces and they'll be much less likely to blow up your marriage since they'll have no interest in an LTR.
/r/TheRedPill07/09/16 03:49 PM
2

So you have a very attractive wife who isn't attracted to you in the slightest, but at least you still get masturbate your hamster (credit: scurve) that other men envy you.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 01:36 PM
1

How do you go about keeping face when you mess something up? You DGAF what she thinks. You'll find that solves the face problem. On an unrelated note, as a solid captain, you should manage your life well enough that you don't fuck up basic common foreseeable tasks like that.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 01:32 PM
2

After that, what's left of them? Who have they become? A dominated, domesticated animal that follows its master. Useful only as a slave. But, like an elephant being led by man with a rope, external control is nothing but an illusion in their own mind. The ultimate form of mental weakness.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/16 04:19 PM
4

Women are attracted to strength. Demonstrate strength by acting (not talking). Stop demonstrating weakness, such as These men then started to defer to their spouse so why should they put in any extra work? They would not go out of the house without the approval of their wife. They wound not make decisions they were a burden You have become your wife's adopted child simply another mouth to feed clean up after you playing video games, watching television, or engaging in otherwise childish behavior…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/16 03:34 PM
1

I said to her, " I agree, and I'm glad you've honed your mind reading and future prediction skills so well." Followed up with a little chuckle. Nice. Next time perhaps suggest she should buy a lottery ticket since she predicts the future so well. If she argues back, spend a couple minutes sarcastically accusing her of being financially irresponsible since she's not betting on horses regularly. I found it ironic that she said I was playing games. She criticizes and attacks to try to regain contro…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/16 07:27 AM
1

Do I just ignore the escalation? Walk away? It would be neat to find a way to make a joke of it. Yes, make a joke out of it with Agree and Amplify. When she gets more pissed because you made a joke out of it, joke more. Make her choose between doubling down on her butthurt or giving up. If it gets too intense (while you remain calm and joking), accuse her of being childish, say "we can talk when you're willing to communicate like an adult" and then leave for a couple hours. Do I just ignore the …
/r/askMRP06/09/16 07:17 AM
2

Yeah, your wife is just going to attack you continuously about everything. You're going to have to let go of any need you have for her approval. That's OK, it will be good for you. For everything you do, google it and learn about it before you do it. It doesn't take that much effort to be one step ahead of a housewife. If you're going to fold clothes, watch some youtube videos. Google how to put up shelves before you buy them to make sure they have the necessary structural integrity. Do not talk…
/r/askMRP05/09/16 03:23 PM
3

To me, I want to be married What do you think you, as a man, will gain from marriage? I bet you can't name a single thing that stands up to scrutiny.
/r/askMRP05/09/16 09:14 AM
1

Doesn't want kids. Hindsight this could be a good thing. Like maybe the best thing that's ever happened to you. As a captain you are accountable to yourself firstly and to a lesser extent your crew for your behavior. If you have decided your behavior is reasonable, you are not accountable for her emotions. If the real problem is that you can't live without her approval, then you need to work on that, not changing her mood so she gets back to validating you.
/r/askMRP05/09/16 09:12 AM
1

Are you doing things to lead your family and make her life awesome too? Yes, you need to refuse to let her control you, maintain frame, practice OI and demonstrate IDGAF. Ignore her attempts to shame you back into compliance. But you also need to add value to her life and show her why your ship is the one she wants to be first mate on. A prerequisite is that you must be able to do these things without talking about them (at all) or seeking approval. But once you can do that, you should be fixing…
/r/askMRP05/09/16 09:08 AM
1

she got pissed at me because I was still deliberating on whether I would say something to him one day later. Be calm but clear with her that you'll do whatever you think is best and you don't give a fuck about her opinion on the matter. If thats not the truth, work on yourself until it is, she knows it, and there is no confusion on the matter.
/r/askMRP01/09/16 07:21 AM
1

US politics is amazing. You couldn't make it up. Can't wait to see what the next 3 months bring.
/r/askMRP31/08/16 02:03 PM
7

3 weeks into MRP. MRP takes months to work and things will get worse before they get better if you're doing this right. There is no response. Nothing. Just a heart of stone. 0% change on her part. You're right on track.
/r/askMRP31/08/16 01:51 PM
1

I was thinking maybe the hot, submissive asian girls were enough to get him hard but in a borderline low t situation his wife wouldn't be. But maybe that's not how that works.
/r/askMRP31/08/16 01:40 PM
1

It is very common for me not to get hard This is very strange if you're in your mid twenties and she's not repulsive. Get your T checked maybe?
/r/askMRP30/08/16 01:41 PM
6

Good job being welcoming, everyone. I think its more that we're unsurprisingly hostile.
/r/askMRP30/08/16 01:32 PM
1

Take action and show her, don't talk. She will (accurately) see weakness in the talking and your plan will not work. If talking worked we would be writing post on how to victim puke, argue and threaten your way into a strong marriage. Women don't respond to weak men talking, they respond to strong men acting. Get busy. Make friends. Become strong. Start practicing to be single. Respond to disrespect with absence. Show her you're moving towards the door.
/r/askMRP30/08/16 01:44 AM
1

I want to tell her A. I am very unhappy with the state of the relationship B. I am not happy C. My kids are very important to me D. I don't know if I can fix this relationship E. I am angry that I am in a position where if I choose to pursue happiness it may hurt my kids. This is your plan to talk your way into results instead of acting. If youve been here for a year and think verba non acta will work, you know less than you should.
/r/askMRP29/08/16 03:29 PM
2

You deciding to leave to punish her misbehaving is a solid tactic. You letting her decide that you need to leave (the house you pay for?) because she's angry is just you letting her decide where you sleep. 100% her frame.
/r/askMRP29/08/16 03:20 PM
1

Find out why she's doing this. Her actions require more effort than compliance so there will be a reason. Deal with the underlying reason.
/r/RedPillWorkplace28/08/16 01:53 PM
1

I worried she'll have leverage to manipulate me to follow her agenda not mine. You're going to say No to her agenda. Read WISNIFG if unsure of how to do this.
/r/askMRP28/08/16 01:44 PM
1

dominating through being the judge of what is acceptable in my behavior. Only if you decide that she is the judge. Otherwise she's just an idiot talking. The only power she has comes from inside your head. Realize there is no spoon.
/r/askMRP25/08/16 04:28 AM
6

She's criticizing you to assert that she gets to decide whether your behaviour is acceptable because thats one way to dominate a person. This is the real issue. If you DEER you've agreed that she gets to decide acceptable behavior and you're now petitioning her to judge you favourably - you've already lost the real fight. Next time she does this smile, laugh and tell her that her unsolicited advice is annoying and when you want her opinion you'll ask for it.
/r/askMRP24/08/16 01:59 PM
1

I'll leave for work early, come home late, then find something else to do.. But I'm still THERE. Hobbies and outside friends are my weak spot. OK so you missed Stage 3 Dread - Get Busy. Find some awesome hobbies that will improve you and bond you with other men. I suggest MMA, rock climbing or other violent, adventurous activities that will also inspire your boy. In two months you'll have lots of awesome friends that are always trying to get you to go out and do things with them. Twelve stages o…
/r/askMRP23/08/16 04:42 PM
1

Have you implemented Stage 4 dread in a disciplined way?
/r/askMRP23/08/16 04:06 PM
2

Yes. I see where the thing you wrote You should be running the household yourself. Is different from the thing I wrote where you're running a household and family together Suspect that's my trouble. Thanks.
/r/askMRP23/08/16 01:21 PM
1

pleasing yourself first no matter what she says/does/thinks Do you apply this standard with your wife also or only plates where the interaction is 100% of your terms. I feel like it would be harder to make this fly with a wife where you're running a household and family together, but maybe I'm just being a pussy about that.
/r/askMRP23/08/16 04:03 AM
1

I learnt that pissing her off and being 100percent uncontrollable drenches her panties Do you have some set plays for intentionally doing this? Or do you just NGAF and it naturally happens?
/r/askMRP23/08/16 03:09 AM
1

Nor would I agree that it generally occurs in reaction to a threat. Provide examples that back up "generally"? I've found that its very rare that anger is not triggered by a threat. My final exception here is the implication that anger results from someone else's misbehavior. While this is can certainly be true I often find that my own behavior is truly the culprit This is an insightful point. Since my anger is related to my weakness responding to a threat there is almost always an underlying dy…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/16 11:39 PM
2

There are two very different situations. 1) A woman uses threats of separation to try to intimidate a beta man into compliance. In this case the threat of leaving is used offensively like a weapon and the woman is frequently very angry. This is a huge shit test. The correct response to this is to offer to help her pack and call her a cab. If this is what she is doing she will not have divorce papers and will generally only have taken trivial steps to support her plan to leave permanently. She ma…
/r/askMRP22/08/16 09:26 AM
2

did I atleast STFU correctly? STFU is better than DEERing the butthurt and trying to convince her to like you again. That's positive. But there are different flavors of STFU. What you did sounds like the scared defensive type of STFU where you know you can't defend what you just did so you refuse to talk. In the future the dismissive contemptuous STFU or the sleepy bored STFU might have been better. But overall you might have fucked up initiating, but it sounds like you passed the subsequent shi…
/r/askMRP22/08/16 09:06 AM
8

Then she says yeah I've fucked while driving before we swerved all over the road. It might be hard to do. I get a shit mental image and then lose my sexual desire instantly The only problem here is the insecurity in your head. If the sex was with a guy you suspected she cheated on you with and she had slowly describe how big and hard the other dudes cock was when he fucked her, your reaction might have been reasonable. But she was trying to be cool and show you she was down and you reacted like …
/r/askMRP22/08/16 04:50 AM
1

Ok...ok....shhhsh...sshhhs There now...shsssh...its ok. Settle down for a sec.... OK... Now tell us what actually happened. That's why I'm pissed right now, "oh god, you're so hot, do you know how hot you are, you're so hot, I talk about you all the time, you're so hot", sooooo, let's have some non-starfish sex then after that starfish I fucked earlier... I initiate after the initial fucking of the night, and she's into it (what she does, not what she says, they're both aligned here), this is he…
/r/askMRP22/08/16 04:20 AM
7

Sure. a) O-ren-ishi - The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative (decision that behavior is unacceptable) is... I collect your fucking head (pressuring to accept decision). Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time! b) Female Shittest Example - Why would you think this is was the right way to load a dishwasher (decision that behavior is unacceptable) ? Can you do anything right? Well…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/16 05:22 PM
1

So the question is, when chasing married women and getting mixed signals (grabs dick one day, doesn't respond the next), when does a man continue to pursue and when to simply next. Reckon /u/Adderallabuse has an informed opinion if he has a minute to comment.
/r/askMRP21/08/16 05:07 PM
3

Thoughts? Most guys come here because they're bluepill chumps - can't manage their existing relationship, dominated by their wife, no frame, no game, get emotional validation from women, angry at their wife's rejection. If they bring all that bullshit into a new relationship without fixing themselves, they end up in another shit storm. And if that new relationship is an affair and the new woman has the power to nuke the man's current marriage, even worse.
/r/askMRP21/08/16 04:02 PM
11

I called her hand and she left. I even offered to help her pack. New guys pay attention, this is how you deal with a woman threatening to leave - call her a cab. Men contribute commitment. If a woman threatens to pull commitment the response should be a shrug. Just in the past few days she has been making check lists of all the chores she does during the day. When I come home from work the list is there for me to see and items are checked off. That sounds like good behaviour. Be a solid captain …
/r/askMRP21/08/16 01:43 PM
3

You might want to add a doxxing warning for the new guys. If they're coming in fresh from the db sub they might not understand the importance of anonymity and that there is a group of people actively seeking to dox us and ruin our lives.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/16 10:35 AM
9

I think its helpful to separate two different things here which frequently get lumped together as Anger. 1) The internal emotional reaction of anger, which is generally triggered by something a person values being threatened. I would argue that this is always weakness, although preferable to fear, which it frequently replaces. Women are ninjas at counterattacking this butthurt weakness when you show it. 2) Judging and criticizing another person's behavior. Or more specifically, making a decision…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/16 08:48 AM
1

Frame test passed. Nice work. Being able to handle this type of situation is part of learning to lead. She doesnt trust you to lead yet, you're trying to execute your plan, shit goes wrong, she attacks, you hold frame, you get a decent outcome, the plan continues. Do this a few times and the attacks get less aggressive. My wife now just makes a neutral comment like "maybe we should have checked that earlier" which is fair enough.
/r/askMRP21/08/16 05:43 AM
2

clearing web history and hiding my kindle from her seems like such a bitch move, it can't be the right way to live. In this case it is necessary. You have an uphill battle ahead of you already. It will be 3x as hard if she knows you're parroting advice from internet strangers and not simply doing what you think is right. Listen to the guys who have been here longer on this specific point.
/r/askMRP20/08/16 07:28 AM
0

there are boundless opportunities to display high-value You demonstrate that your opinion of yourself is not based on other people's opinions. This is attractive to your wife and everyone else.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/16 07:17 AM
2

F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) Good post. With fear of social (marriage, sex...) problems, there's always a lie underneath the fear. Most of the threats we face are just really not ideal situations. Generally the lie is something along the lines of "I need this thing from that person to be OK." But its not true. I'm the man. They need things from me, not the other way around. Many of you as men have never had your courage tested and you don't possess the character to give it all you go…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/16 07:11 AM
2

I think its instinctual behavior. I've read a number of accounts written by women where they talk about just naturally starting to test and control men (boys) in their early teens. If the man passes the test he's strong and attractive. If he doesn't the woman starts to dominate him. When I was a teenager I frequently heard girls talk about "wrapping him around her little finger" with a combination of attraction and aggression leading to dominance. Humans are heard animals with dominance based so…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/16 06:44 AM
3

Not every last thing has to be filtered through a power prism. Disagree, with women its always about power. He's keeping it light, having fun, and breaking down shit tests and getting laid with it. What he's doing is better than the whiny, scared, entitled child routine that most men are doing when they get here. Bratty son has some IDGAF elements to it. Its just not AM.
/r/askMRP20/08/16 02:07 AM
1

But it's when I'm goofing around with my kids that that my wife goes from being amused to being annoyed. Really? I would have thought that being a good dad was a display of high value. Are you excessively immature? I would have thought she'd be more likely to get aggressive if you were seeking approval and demanding to be the center of attention with your activities.
/r/askMRP20/08/16 02:04 AM
2

With my comment, I wanted you to see whats really happening here. The important thing is for you, and only you, to make decisions for yourself. At the start of any fight, you should consider whether she's right and if she is, you make that decision and apologize. The decisions which are material to your current situation are 1) Whether her shitty mood and attitude was acceptable. 2) Whether it was acceptable behavior for you to leave without saying goodbye in response to her attitude. 3) Whether…
/r/askMRP20/08/16 02:01 AM
1

I don't think its in your interest to punish her for initiating, unless you think its overtly manipulative. Punish half ass performance, sure. If you're not in the mood say no. But your reaction sounds emotional and likely to make her less likely to initiate next time, which isn't what you want.
/r/askMRP19/08/16 02:01 PM
2

This is powertalk op. She is just criticising you to gain the upper hand. I want to tell her I left because of her shifty mood and attitude. She knows that. But she is trying to refuse to have that discussion by forcing you to have this one. She called and said she isn't ok with me just leaving and that is disrespectful You follow our advice and refuse so she tries to force you to have this discussion FYI there is no point of even telling you how I feel about an issue if it's not even going to b…
/r/askMRP19/08/16 01:51 PM
19

At a dinner party I was at last year, a woman proclaimed that husbands just had to accept that while the kids were young there wouldn't be any sex, right in front of her husband and his friends. Emasculated. A moment of silence for our fallen brother.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 11:55 AM
6

I can enact like and emulate the voice of a naughty, selfish, bratty 8yr old kid who DNGAF. Amused mastery is like a father humoring his bratty daughter. You've got this backwards and are a bratty son with his mother. It sounds weaksauce to me because masculine men don't act like kids. Correct. You want to be the daddy. I am not at a point where I can do A&A without coming across as a sarcastic dick. That's ok.
/r/askMRP19/08/16 08:31 AM
8

does being a jokester help me stay in my own frame? The distinction here is subtle. If you are genuinely funny, insightful, fearless and add value to people's lives with humor, that's good. If you're a monkey dancing for peanuts and validation, thats bad.
/r/askMRP19/08/16 06:58 AM
11

Good post. Noobs take note. They are not bringing the love and making them feel special. Both of these ladies then said how hard their men were trying to win them back, with flowers, back rubs and so much attention they are being smothered. Attention and emotional availability of a low value man has no value to women. Increase the effort and a low SMV man's value drops further, resulting in zero net progress. The only solution is to increase the value of the man. Their girls admitted that she wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 04:20 AM
6

Does it usually get worse before it gets better. Always. You're now a shity servant and a shity leader. How do you expect her to react. Did I fuck anything up with how I handled that? No. But if she's still acting shity, you should just smile, be cheerful and leave for a few hours. Will her reactions and behaviour get better? Yes. But only if you stfu, consistently improve, maintain frame and don't talk about fight club.
/r/askMRP18/08/16 01:33 PM
2

Checking her phone doesn't make you a bitch. Allowing your wifes behaviour to make you emotional, defensive, threatened or scared, makes you a bitch. Look at why you have given her that power over you.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 12:04 PM
9

Tells me how disturbed the kids were. The kids were disturbed by your whatsapp groups? No. They were disturbed by your wife's disturbing behavior. Call her on that bullshit. Then starts screaming for me to choose between my family or my cousins. She gets to decide your options? Negative. Explain to her that she doesn't get to decide a god damn thing for you. She does get to decide whether she leaves your house, your family and your marriage. Last time this happened to me I explained to my wife t…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 08:56 AM
3

Which in our circle would normally result in laughs and banter. Except it resulted in everybody in the room staring at the tv in silence with straight faces. In front of your wife, joke and tease her about it. So don't mate guard or make your suspicions your wife's problem like a beta trying to feel better, but I'd discretely check a few things, like her phone. You don't know how late in the day it is. As i said im not worried about them, but fuck lookin like a pussy in front of my friends and f…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 07:55 AM
2

Go spend 50 dollars and get an insanely loud horn installed. Or get a supersoaker and hose her down. She's going to act like a child, so treat her like one. Acta non verba.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 04:32 AM
1

I'm 6 years younger ffs. Hold on. How old are you and how old is your girl? This is a big red flag.
/r/askMRP18/08/16 03:05 AM
2

When I decide to exit, she will follow me outside, stand behind the truck yapping until I literally have to slowly back into her to make her move. Park facing out. Or on the street. Take simple actions to change the playing field.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 02:30 AM
1

"I love you, I just need you to make all of this better." What she means is firstly that she feels bad. Why does she feel bad? Assuming there isn't a legit reason for her to feel bad (she just got fired or her cat died) then who fucking knows. Maybe someone looked at her wrong. Or she couldn't find her keys. Or she's dreaming about how things will be after you expand 2 to 3x financially. Or she just saw a facebook picture of someone she hates looking really skinny and attractive. Could be a mill…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/16 10:08 AM
2

Have you told her that her attention seeking behavior is annoying and inappropriate? Her attention seeking behavior comes from a deep fear of worthlessness, inferiority and rejection. You can't fix that, only she can. But you can use it to drive her attraction towards you. Reject her a bit. Ransom approval to her. Bet that's what her dad did. You've probably been trying to help her by giving her all the approval she wants and telling her that you unconditionally accept her. But that doesn't fix …
/r/askMRP17/08/16 02:52 AM
2

This place, this glorious place can help those that want to save themselves. We may disagree about the details but what we do here is important.
/r/askMRP16/08/16 12:57 PM
1

Emotional vulnerability is important to building and retaining attractive when used correctly. Very important nuance. I remember once reading someone discussing this with Cad. The attractive behavior you're talking about is not vulnerability, its more like "not-defended-ness". Vulnerability - the quality of being easily hurt or attacked. What you're talking about is openly sharing information that a sensitive, validation seeking beta would be scared to share. This demonstrates that you're so str…
/r/askMRP16/08/16 08:56 AM
1

For me, I won't sleep right. And I sleep like a baby. Agreed. This is an important test. Taking risks is sometimes necessary but a man must be true to himself or he will be truly lost.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/16 05:05 PM
1

100%. Also the only person I answer to.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/16 04:50 PM
1

My word stands until I decide otherwise, for whatever reasons I decide are sufficient. I may explain my decision to someone if I decide its warranted. I may not.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/16 04:48 PM
0

A contract is between two parties. Not between me and a vacuum. Her actions are material to my obligations.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/16 04:36 PM
4

OP should just be sure he actually wants sex and isn't chasing acceptance and validation.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/16 04:26 PM
0

If we're going to discuss being obligated to honesty due to mutual commitments I would argue that my wife backed out of her promise of "to have and to hold" without explicitly telling me.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/16 04:20 PM
3

This is yet another bitter part of the pill. Honestly, part of me doesn't' want to believe that she is not my friend. For me, this was probably the most attractive blue pill lie. That my wife would be my best friend. That I would have an equal partner who would shoulder her share of responsibility and face life's problems with me. Someone who would support me and love me when things were difficult and not going well. Someone I could lean on. And we'd just have lots of sex and talk about life. I …
/r/askMRP15/08/16 03:30 PM
3

She is eventually disgusted by his looks and his neediness and tells him to fuck off. So the only reason this didn't result in physical infidelity is because she picked an ugly guy by shear luck. No kids or financial complications, I'd bail.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/16 02:41 PM
1

Pretend you aren't paying attention and change the subject (another understated shit test passing technique for this place). If she tries to pull you back into her frame to discuss her pointless emotional childishness, it's "look, babe, I gotta go. Ttyl." Yeah, agreed. That's quality.
/r/askMRP15/08/16 04:33 AM
2

If you're emotionally effected by her trash talking, its a symptom of weakness in you that you need to deal with. Notice how women talk trash about assholes and then pull them into closets and fuck them behind their beta husband's backs? The trash talking isn't a problem. MRP 101 - Ignore what women say and focus on what they do, which you've said nothing about.
/r/askMRP15/08/16 02:57 AM
7

I’m cool on the phone but pissed at how she treats minor friends with decent goodbye’s You need to look at what you are trying to get from your wife emotionally. Then stop trying to get that from her. Any emotional neediness from you will be met with her disgust. She is not your friend. A high value man would have handled the situation more like this, from a place of strength and confidence. A high value man would need nothing from her emotionally and be waiting for her to get out the door so he…
/r/askMRP15/08/16 02:52 AM
2

This is an important insight for u/notbourneenough . That fits with what he describes. She's not trying to change his behaviour and just wants to go alone to get her logic for leaving confirmed by an impartial 3rd party.
/r/askMRP14/08/16 03:04 PM
4

Honestly dude she sounds like a good woman trying to make a marriage work. This is the first time I've said that to anyone on askmrp. This is good news because you'll probably get another shot if you get your head out of your ass. I am not sure what to expect with her seeing a therapist but don't think it's my biggest concern atm? Normally psycho bitch wives (askmrp standard) think their idiot husband is the problem and haul him into couples therapy to try to shame him into submission. Your wife…
/r/askMRP14/08/16 01:33 PM
2

What was her family background and specifically her relationship with her father?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/16 08:10 AM
1

I'm driving home when I originally planned on to (2 day drive). Good job. The issue here though is she has a very good memory, and I have a crappier one. Is that objectively true or has she just been winning these type of arguments for so long that you've mutually accepted her version of reality that your memory sucks? Do you have this problem with people you work with or just her? But more broadly, when these things come up you should pause and consider whether you think she's right. If you thi…
/r/askMRP14/08/16 06:21 AM
1

2 weeks ago and the wife breaks down and says she is completely miserable, doesn't want to be around me and thinks we should take a break What were your wifes specific complaints? Her going to therapy without you is weird. not sure why over the past couple years I never did more to bang her every day or so cause I know she would So she would have been dtf but you have a deadbedroom? Whats the rest of the story OP?
/r/askMRP14/08/16 06:06 AM
1

On Wednesday, this discussion continued but it turned into somewhat of a argument (on the phone) over what was said previously. My wife used to do this. She'd just make up a different version of events and criticise me to try to get me to accept it. When your wife does this, pause for a second and ask yourself if she's right. Assuming you remember it differently, simply reject her version of events because she hasn't convinced you and refuse to consider the possibility she may be right. What she…
/r/askMRP14/08/16 05:53 AM
1

I'm looking for practical advice on how to start believing that I am my own judge Valueing other peoples opinon over your own is not logical. There is some lie you've been telling yourself about why you need to do this. Once you see the lie clearly it will be easier to stop.
/r/askMRP14/08/16 12:41 AM
1

OK, so now we get closer to the real problem. The challenge is to change my thinking, to internalize valuing and self-respect. Looking for ideas on how, which is the subject of this post. Lets see if we can accurately identify the lies you've been telling yourself that keep you from valuing and respecting yourself. You fear there is something wrong with you and that people will reject you, and because of this your basic human needs will not be met (yup, that's scary). You seek her approval in or…
/r/askMRP13/08/16 03:54 PM
1

ALL the time. She's AMOG in our family. She uses the fear that she will take away affection to control my behavior. OK, now we're getting closer to the real problem in you that allows her to dominate you. It generally centers on a lie you've been telling yourself for decades. I think the answer is absence. Negative. That's running away. The long term answer is to fix whats wrong inside you that you feel so terrible without her affection, which she can ransom to you to dominate you. Thats whats h…
/r/askMRP13/08/16 02:06 PM
3

If I could be assured sufficient access to my kids, and my wife was leaving without a fight, I'd throw a fucking party. I'd have so much fun being this affluent, this age and single in this city. I add so much more value to her life than she adds to mine.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/16 01:39 PM
3

Lots of "ism"s out there. Most are just bullshit being used by a group of believers to pressure everyone else into letting the believers make the decisions in society and thereby dominate. Feminism is just one example, but the patterns is always the same. I was successfully dominated by this in my bluepill days and that was no one's fault but mine. Fair play to them, but I'll never allow that pattern of deference to a philosophy to influence my decisions ever again, as this is the path of betane…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/16 09:57 AM
1

When was the last time I yelled at her or in some other way flipped out? Not in maybe 10 years. So your marriage is bad enough to be here but you haven't shouted at your wife in 10 years? OK, anger is the wrong question, how about fear? When was the last time you were scared of her or her reaction to you? Originally you asked about inner game, OI and frame. My experience is that the best way to improve these things is to not need anything from your wife emotionally. If this is hard, its generall…
/r/askMRP13/08/16 07:12 AM
2

I'd also read WISNIFG and The Rational Male.
/r/askMRP13/08/16 06:58 AM
5

She's cheated on me basically the entire relationship and marriage. Firstly, pat test that kid asap. This whole situation might get a lot simpler with a negative result. After that, my objective would be to get clear of this situation with some shared custody as soon as possible and go on with my life. I think a lawyer is the person to ask how to do that in the state you're in. I didn't get deep enough into TRP to do this without my emotions getting in the way. Have you read the whole sidebar? A…
/r/askMRP13/08/16 06:23 AM
1

We're talking about the power your wife has over you. When was the last time you got angry with her.
/r/askMRP12/08/16 05:12 PM
1

Bottom Line: She has too much power over me Hard for someone to have power over you unless you rely on them for something important to you. What are you trying to get from her? If you find it hard to answer that question, your anger will point you towards the answer. When was the last time you got angry with her?
/r/askMRP12/08/16 03:31 PM
1

That's the same problem I had, which is this. I can't say I'm totally happy with my sex life with my wife, but its miles better than it was a year ago and the specific problem describe by arch in that post has been solved. What I did was the following 1) Be very clear with her that I never again want her to do anything sexual with me that she does not want to do ever again. 2) Explain to her that as her husband I am going to try to have sex with her, but that I promise to never get angry or thre…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 10:12 AM
1

And I don't know if there is any good advice when it comes to a 'win-win' situation for both the husband and wife Be attractive and seduce your wife is a win-win situation that works for both. If you become attractive and you still don't have the relationship you want, then the relationship ends. That's the game we're all playing. But lets admit that this generally only happens when the woman met, married (vowed to fulfill the sexual need of) and had kids with a man she knew full well she wasn't…
/r/askMRP12/08/16 09:49 AM
1

as I write this that I have guilt over the idea of driving her to anxiety via my beta behavior, And what did you do during your bluepill days that you think may have caused or contributed to this?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 05:58 PM
1

This statement is about behavior within a relationship "I feel loved only when I am not behaving badly to my husband." This statement is about a person's self image "I'm only good enough and lovable when ____________." I would argue that conditioning, incentivizing and (yes, I'll say it) manipulating behavior is a normal part participating in human relationships. Manipulating someone's self worth is different and not something that's commonly practiced as a part of MRP.
/r/askMRP11/08/16 05:49 PM
2

Is she fulfilling her vows?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 09:41 AM
9

I want your take on how I handled a situation today. Sure, lets talk about whats really going on. She picks something up in my voice though, and calls me out on being mad. Her stating that you're not allowed to judge her behavior is her asserting that you're not allowed to make decisions about what is acceptable behavior. And then she continues to criticize your behavior to pressure you to accept her right to tell you what decisions you're not allowed to make. "You don't have to give me attitude…
/r/askMRP11/08/16 03:16 AM
2

Don't base any kind of enjoyment on your wife or validation from your wife. This OP. She is not your friend. Anything you get from your wife she'll try to ransom to you to dominate you. A strong man walks alone and leads her, she may follow or not.
/r/askMRP11/08/16 01:27 AM
6

Ps. Her vagina is not broken. It's just broken for the "nice guy" she still thinks you are. I think there's a limit to this logic and OP's wife's childhood sexual trauma is past that limit. OP has a lot of progress to make, that's true. He's victim blaming his beta cluelessness on his wife's craziness and I don't think he should get divorced soon. But I think the situation is closer to a woman with an alcoholic husband. Some people don't get better. If Enrique Iglesias knocked on that door she w…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 03:56 PM
9

There are two separate issues here. Firstly, you need to read the sidebar, lift, own your shit, improve, get your head right. And I think you should probably do that for 6-8 months before making any serious decisions. This incident here illustrates that you're a long way from really understanding this stuff Her comments about her coworker and his life remind me of the book so I start talking about some of the points it brings up. She shuts me out mid sentence to watch Phelps win gold. Pretty iro…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 03:18 PM
3

"WE don't need to have sex everyday" Yup, trying to make that decision for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 01:27 PM
3

There would then be no more gloating reactions to response from others, negative or positive. I agree. Being effected by praise and criticism are both letting someone else decide how I feel about myself. Two side of the same coin. I reckon being effected by praise is more dangerous because we don't have a drive to get rid of the underlying weakness. I must know loneliness like it is the best and only friend I'll ever have. A lot of my approval seeking was driven by fear and the need to reassuran…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 01:26 PM
1

when someone posts in a sub about not seeking validation ( which in itself seeks validation) I will always tell them that they are full of shit and should listen to me. Yeah, this is good. This is how we do things. And anyone who gets it won't care.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 09:01 AM
1

I kept reading waiting for a Pussy McFaggot somewhere. Hmmm. Oh well.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 03:54 PM
1

With the hope that what, we agree with you? I don't post here for agreement. I post here for you to tell me where I'm wrong. That's much more valuable to me. True, this place has gotten a bit more emotionally supportive since whinemore left, but still if I'm being a pussy somewhere, I'll hear about it. But its like watching a brand new blue belt roll... its good, but you can tell it hasn't sunk in yet... you know? Good. Why?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 03:24 PM
1

My opinion matters. If its based on insight and accuracy it might. but I think you may be going too fast. Why?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 03:09 PM
9

"go upstairs then" This is a perfectly acceptable thing to say in front of your 17 yo daughter. Eating your wifes shit in front of your daughter sounds far worse to me.
/r/askMRP09/08/16 10:24 AM
3

I'm getting hit on when she's not around. I say of course I am getting hit on She says she's worried and gonna have to step up.... she says "I'm gonna have to stop being a bitch." Solid progress. Nice work. It sounds like you've got some solid dread. I don't think you need to turn up the dread, I think you need to work on your frame. Even if she refuses to follow you at all, and attacks you constantly, you can still have a rock solid frame (I lived like this for a time). Work on never letting he…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/16 11:54 PM
15

In order for me to be angry at my wife I have to have been trying to get something from her, which she denies me or threatens. Once I admit the red pill truth of the world, get some abundance and no longer need any validation , my wife's day to day behavior is at most inconvenient and low value. I believe this is a core element of accepting some of TFA's principles that a strong alpha man walks alone. I lead my wife, give her my strength and take care of my family. She gives me sex regularly but…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/16 12:24 AM
2

You're 35, no kids, two incomes, wife puts her career before your marriage. OP, what are you getting out of this marriage? Now that you know all this RP stuff, and you understand that your SMV is peaking, and you basically have all the costs of singledom, why don't you want to be single and fuck 20somethings?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/16 10:29 AM
1

But part of the reason she was upset at me was because I didn't "communicate" enough with her... There are a few reasons for this but they all centre around the idea that you're changing, she's losing control, she doesn't understand why and she doesn't trust you enough yet to be sure its a good thing. Demonstrate that she will gain from you leading and see if she isn't more ok with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/16 10:00 AM
6

So far I'm maintaining frame, AA, AM, and leaving situation. Is this all I can mostly do? You need to work on leading, being the Daddy and never asking her for emotional support or validation. Lead her to awesome things. Handle all the scary/difficult life stuff. Have a plan for everything and tell her the part she will play in that plan. Relieve her of the burden of managing her life. At her age, and the length of your relationship, thats probably her biggest doubt: can you step up and be a sol…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/16 03:29 AM
25

And I say "December me never got what he wanted" and I leave it at that. Not sure whether that was too much talk. Notice how this frames everything you're doing as butthurt. Thats why it was too much talk. She makes a run for my mobile in my pocket. She wants to know who I am having sports with Next time she gets suspicious, go real serious and tell her you have a confession to make - you've been fucking Kevin. It started with you secretly getting together with him to find out how to be a better…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/16 01:43 PM
3

Get your shit in order, and if possible save emails, texts, make notes to yourself knowing that women will blame you for shit whether it’s true or not. This is not the solution. The solution is to assume that what you remember is the truth unless she produces incontrovertible evidence to the contrary and convinces you. I will only ever be held accountable for my actions as I remember them. Why? Because my wife used to make shit up to win arguments all the time. When I (in blue pill days) called …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/16 04:53 PM
1

Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it if you can't act like an adult This probably my favourite counter attack. So powerful. So arbitrary.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/16 04:39 PM
1

Narcissism is prioritizing people's opinion of you over your own. This (letting others decide how you feel about yourself) is the great black source of all beta-ness. Narcissism is weakness.
/r/TheRedPill02/08/16 09:26 AM
3

This is a good post but its missing a crucial piece: adding value. Humans in groups follow a leader voluntarily because they think they're better off in the group following than on their own. Leads by doing, and does so in a way that removes responsibility from others in his group. This is calming and enjoyable to others around him If he's strong enough to trust and they feel they're better off with him. Removing responsibility is less positive if the leader is selfish and misguided. With or wit…
/r/TheRedPill01/08/16 02:28 PM
2

"I decide what is right and what is wrong, and I don't have to explain it to anybody." Internalising this is the cure for beta-ness and approval seeking. All shit tests are someone else asserting the right to judge whether you or your behaviour are acceptable.
/r/TheRedPill01/08/16 02:02 PM
2

I told her that she was responsible for many things too with our failed marriage but she would never admit any wrongs. I also told he she is responsible for her emotions. Be accountable for your actions. If your actions are reasonable, how she feels is not your concern. Tell her that. If your son is old enough to have job he's old enough to need his sane father more than his crazy mother. Talk to an attorney. Get custody (your son may just be able to choose who he wants to live with). Divorce yo…
/r/askMRP01/08/16 02:59 AM
1

Polygamous societies in Africa have had this problem in the past. China and India will see this problem in the future, hopefully with less violent consequences.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/16 04:13 PM
1

Civilization would have never taken off if we men didn't stop trying to slit each other's bags. In addition, who wants to work for the Man (civilization) if he ain't getting his fair share of pussy. African societies with high rates of polygamy have very serious problems with this. When you have a small number of powerful men with big harems you also end up with large numbers of unsuccessful young men who will never have families. It doesnt take long for them to get together and start a war.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/16 02:16 PM
3

If she tries to argue just tell her you're not going to spend time with her when shes being immature like this, we can try again later, and then leave.
/r/askMRP31/07/16 02:09 PM
1

Response - "Disappointed? Nah, its (or you're) just boring. Anyway, I have a lot of things to do, I'll be back later tonight. leaves ".
/r/askMRP31/07/16 02:06 PM
3

Shrug, smile, kiss her on the forehead and say "No worries, I'm going to go get some things done" and leave. Then be busy for a couple days.
/r/askMRP30/07/16 06:35 AM
1

She'll be a good mother if her mom is a good indication. How is she right now, with you, as a wife? Does she admire you, respect you and fuck you like you want? If you're not getting what you want from this woman, now is the last chance you will have to find another one. Marriages can be ended, finances can be separated. That's all a piece of cake compared to risking your ability to spend time with the most precious things in the world to you. Most of the guys you find here who are really stuck …
/r/askMRP30/07/16 06:32 AM
11

I find there are two basic approaches to problems 1) Victim Mentality -> Butthurt -> Blame -> Whining -> Stop at the supermarket to get some ointment for your vagina. or 2) Ownership Mentality-> Concern -> Plan -> Action -> Result I'm not sure about you guys, but I find it really easy to choose ownership. Other things are hard to choose. Its hard to choose to come up with the perfect shit test response. Its hard to choose to always be out in front on the planning everything so shit doesn't go wr…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/16 04:38 PM
1

MRP fixes the man, not necessarily the marriage. I will have a good sex life because we only get one life.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/16 04:23 PM
5

Then you are valuing your wife's opinion of you over your own. This is the great black source of all beta-ness. And this gives her a huge amount of power inside your head - to decide for you whether you are acceptable. But the good thing is that its a lie. You never agreed to let her decide that. You don't have to. Once you get this straight in your head, you'll be a bit sad that your marriage isn't as awesome as it could be. You'll understand that you need to change that or find a new wife. But…
/r/askMRP27/07/16 06:10 AM
2

I think one of the biggest blue pill lies is that I can have anything in life or romantic relationships without conflict. Thats what this is really about "What if my woman can't uphold her end of the deal and tries to pin it on me?" He wishes she would be kind, helpful and reasonable because he is. Doing it himself is good in the short term to show she doesn't have power over the state of the house. But longer term he needs to give her a painful reason not to fuck around or he's going to be her …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/16 05:55 AM
1

I am actually super butthurt at the first comment, do you think she realised? Not based on your response. Unless you looked butthurt. Was this a shit test? Yes, and it sounds like you passed. and where am I going wrong? You need her validation. That's why her lack of attraction bothers you right?
/r/askMRP27/07/16 05:39 AM
1

time is passing either way. I'm young, strong, my body works, no serious problems holding me back. These days are numbered.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/16 02:47 AM
5

If you talk about these techniques with your LTR they won't work on her. Instead of looking like a guy finding his balls and improving, you'll look like an idiot parrotting things out of a self improvement book. But, you know, do what you think is best.
/r/askMRP27/07/16 02:27 AM
3

Because he needs her approval and validation so much that he can't see the point of life without it. That's why he's in this situation in the first place. Tell me if I'm wrong OP.
/r/askMRP27/07/16 02:23 AM
1

Your previous behavior when you discovered the affair (breakdown, hospital, suicidal thoughts, blamed self) is probably such a huge display of low value that she'll never be able to be attracted to you again. If you'd just looked at her, shrugged and said "You're a pathetic bitch and I have better things to do with my time" and then walked out and disappeared for a few days, you might have had a chance. She wants to be with someone else. Let her. Work on you. Become attractive, find someone attr…
/r/askMRP27/07/16 02:22 AM
1

And there's the math right there.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/16 03:33 AM
1

I love the silent treatment. I go do all the fun shit I normally don't have time for. OP, if this bothers you its because your wife is threatening something you value. What's being threatened by your wife's behavior that you value?
/r/askMRP25/07/16 02:14 AM
1

This is what the alpha trait of being aloof and indifferent means? I think they both (this and AM, or holding frame more broadly) stem from the underlying condition of the man not needing the woman or deferring to her - emotionally, intellectually, sexually or practically.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/16 05:03 PM
3

Have you read SGM? It has some good content on what to do and how to escalate. But broadly, you don't lead by proposing things. You get her very turned on and then do things. If she's very turned on, and you're pushing the boundary (not smashing it) she'll probably go with it. But don't start with anal. Start with talking dirty, throwing her around, hair pulling, very light choking. Experiment, see what (dominance, emotion, variety, immersion) works, turn that up.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/16 04:33 PM
2

she is just getting into her career. The most I can get out of her is that she doesn't feel like she can make a decision without running it by me first. She wants to stand on her own for a while. A long time ago mine said something similar to me. She walked out. Came back crying a few days later. Confessed to having and "emotional affair" with someone. She was probably fucking him too, but at time bluepill me was pretty gullible and now red pill me doesn't care. Seen anything suspicious lately O…
/r/askMRP24/07/16 04:25 PM
3

I could care less about her approval or rejection. Awesome. Then why so serious OP? What I am having trouble with is being negative or to serious with shit tests Generally being serious and negative means something is important. Why isn't her bullshit just kind of amusing?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/16 04:14 PM
2

While this is a bit of victim puke, any pointers how to stay strong until the end without faltering? The reason you feel so sad is that you are getting something emotional from her. when she was clearing the table it hit me like a ton of bricks that all this will be gone in a few days. What are you really going to miss? Ask yourself and think about it for a minute. Now consider how terrifyingly unwise it is to be that emotionally dependant on a woman this dishonest and deceitful. How you feel is…
/r/askMRP24/07/16 01:56 PM
1

That's not really enough information for us to provide feedback. Is she divorcing you because you cheated on her with a bunch of hot 23 year olds? Or because she fucked chad the pool boy? Do you want to stay with her? Or maybe you're happy with the divorce because she's rich and you want to spin plates.
/r/askMRP24/07/16 01:34 PM
6

So after reading the post twice I think the only tangible issue (that's outside of your head) is the quality of the sex you have? It's your job to lead her to this, like anything else. Do the SGM stuff. Push her boundaries. Own it, research it, put a plan in place, start pushing her. Once she is not complying, then its time to apply more pressure with dread. But if she's compliant, you need to lead.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/16 07:36 AM
3

AM is hard if you think the shit test is important. Ask why her words matter so much to you that its hard not to take them seriously. The criticism hurts because you need her approval? You're scared of her rejection because she's your only social relationship? What's going on in your head that makes it hard to respond with the following Whatever comes at you, you stay calm, easy-going, and positive.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/16 07:09 AM
3

Han Solo = RP legend. Someone should annotate that clip with the names we use for each of those techniques and put it on the side bar.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/16 07:06 AM
3

If you're sure it's really about her fear of a medical condition, give her patriarchal reassurance - "Now, now sweety, you're just being silly, come here." You can understand how it might be scary to think your husband and your health are out of control. Give her strength and security. Health issues aside normally I'm a fan of imposing a cost for significant misbehaviour. Make dismissive comment about her acting like a child and leave for a bit. Counter attack a bit and call her pathetic. Cancel…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/16 02:59 PM
1

What would employees experience of the warning be like? You'd probably tell them very clearly that they were not fulfilling their responsibilities. That their behavior was unacceptable. That they need to change it. You'd listen to them but you'd be clear that you didn't care whether they agreed with you. You'd then coach them and lead them to the correct behavior. Try that.
/r/askMRP22/07/16 06:41 AM
2

Two part strategy: improve yourself and document evidence for the divorce. Repeatedly and frequently hiding bottles all around the house is something that pretty much only alcoholics do. Like getting a 4th DWI or drinking regularly before work (source: decade+ in AA). MRP will help you get your head right but we can't fix alcoholism and major mental illnesses. So document evidence in preparation for the very real possibility of divorce and seeking full custody. Until she gets much older and resp…
/r/askMRP22/07/16 06:26 AM
1

I have started to live my life as if I am single (if I need something done, I do it, and I maintain a full social calendar with or without the SO). This has helped me re-enter my own frame, but I probably will need more than that. One element of leading her is to be The Daddy. Be responsible for managing everything in your life together. Anything scary or serious is your job to deal with. Find problems before they get serious and solve them proactively. Never tell her about any of this. She shou…
/r/askMRP21/07/16 04:10 PM
1

I don't get that feeling, but apparently other people do. OK, so like other people think she admires you? I guess as long as I am happy and focused on goals Yup, this should be the primary focus. but part of my goals involve a great home life, which includes that With this wife or the next.
/r/askMRP21/07/16 03:47 PM
1

That sounds solid. Your objective is your woman admiring you. Do you get that feeling? Does she treat you like someone she admires?
/r/askMRP21/07/16 03:08 PM
1

What would you do if one of your direct reports behaved in a similar way with professional responsibilities?
/r/askMRP21/07/16 02:24 PM
1

The 3rd piece is the one I am having issues making progress on. I feel like this is more of a map output than a part of the map. You might have a map action point of introducing a bunch of SGM techniques in your sex life. Better lead myself and be a leader in the house (take initiative in cleaning, repairs and with our dogs) Good start but are you leading in life? At work? How's your frame? How often do you feel like you've "lost" and argument with your wife or anyone else?
/r/askMRP21/07/16 02:20 PM
2

Given my situation, should I be feeling beta insecurity? That entire line of reasoning (should I be feeling beta insecurity) is fucking useless and you should give up on it. Ask what you should be doing. What you should be doing is: read the sidebar, lift, ignore what she says, practice what you read, improve yourself. Start doing that. Come back and post your progress in 2 months with a specific question.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 08:13 AM
4

Personally I think a man can delete anything he created for any reason he chooses. Or do anything else he chooses because he thinks its right for him as a man.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 04:41 AM
2

Great post. Illustrates some truth. It’s Men for themselves I can't be for myself if someone else decides for me whether, I as a person, or my behavior, are acceptable. Morality, ethics, prestige, approval seeking, validation, bluepill shaming, butthurt, virtually any ego based reaction - its all variations on the same idea that someone else gets to decide the acceptability of my behavior because their opinion of me is more important than my own. Now weak men find some upsides to this. Letting s…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/16 04:45 PM
2

Elements of formlessness Defensive Formlessness: to lack fixed (egotistical) structures to attack. A bullet shatters brick but only ripples water. When you do not let your wife make any decisions for you emotionally, you will need nothing emotional from her and you will not care what she says. Fogging is the verbal application of this principle. Offensive Formlessness: to attack without relying on fixed patterns. Your wife will realise she does not understand you because she cannot predict your …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/16 03:34 PM
1

After I immediately went full redpill and really got my shit together and started moving on with my life, eating right, and getting fit. You didn't learn anything about redpill at this point. I mean its cool that you got in shape and got some interest from other women. But a bear that walks back into the zoo and closes that door of the cage hasn't learned shit about freedom. You're as new as anyone. Sidebar, lift, improve.
/r/askMRP20/07/16 02:17 PM
1

I would do two things. 1) Impose a cost for her misbehaving with the conditional noes. For instance if she brings up unfriending someone on fb in the middle of foreplay I'd throw a sequence of condescending dismissive insults at her for being a shity boring lover. Because that's the truth and real men call a spade a spade. 2) A couple days after she fucks you with no conditions, try to do one or two of the less problematic things she wants you to do. Explain that you love her, you take care of h…
/r/askMRP20/07/16 02:01 PM
3

My wife has started applying RP tactics to our marriage How long have you been applying RP tactics in your marriage? Sidebar, lift, learn what dread is, STFU. She shrugs. "Don't be so dramatic. I was just flirting with him. Learn to sort your insecurities out before taking them out on me". I'm not even sure if you can call this a shit test because its so accurate. I feel like that needs a different label.
/r/askMRP20/07/16 11:49 AM
1

I told her that she could use a credit card for it and I couldn't stop her, but she still seems to want my approval. Would she have cared about your approval 3 months ago? If not, you're making progress and she's trying to play ball with it. Thats good. Now lead like she wants you to. I suggested we could make a list of our prepping goals and monthly expenses. You're still trying to have an equal, cooperative marriage and reach a decision by convening a committee. Stop that and start leading lik…
/r/askMRP19/07/16 04:20 PM
1

I'd say that with both examples it boils down to frame. I'd agree. In each instance you're seeking (the best possible) results. The difference is not only the means, but the "realm of motivation" as well. Important thing to identify is if it's your realm or the realm/s of others. I think the simpler way to think about it is as an extension of the Cardinal Rule of Relationships: In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. If I'm egotistical and in…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/16 11:13 AM
1

She directs all her anger towards me and blows off at me that if I had ever seen her at work I would know that she maintains her cool at work. The shit test is her criticizing you. I'd suggest an (extremely unemotional, even bored) response like - "If you want me to talk to you, you'll need to be pleasant in the future." Then get up and leave to go do something else. Dread?: No, that's not dread. But you're harder for her to control now and she's probably trying to figure our whats going on. So …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/16 09:55 AM
2

You're using machiavellianism and DT (dark triad) interchangeably and they're not. From Wikipedia the three DT traits are as follows. Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity, pride, egotism, and a lack of empathy. Machiavellianism is characterized by manipulation and exploitation of others, a cynical disregard for morality, and a focus on self-interest and deception. Psychopathy is characterized by enduring antisocial behavior, impulsivity, selfishness, callousness, and remorselessness.[12] N…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/16 08:41 AM
2

There's something else they all have that we often lose sight of: constant competition and testing. For years I tried to avoid conflict. My fear made me unconformable with conflict and I thought of conflict as a failure. An unnatural state where something had gone wrong and needed to be corrected with apologies. Now I see that all important human relationships (romantic, employment, business) are fundamentally based in conflict, defined by it even. And that conflict drives the creation (of sex, …
/r/TheRedPill16/07/16 05:29 PM
1

If she has to tend to your feelings and make you feel better when you’re down, like a little child, then she’s your mommy. There's another very serious problem with doing this. If you need her emotional approval she'll use this to dominate you. Most shit tests are a woman throwing some disapproval at you and seeing if you'll offer compliance/supplication to get the approval back. If you don't rely on her for approval and tell her to fuck off, you've passed the test. If you do need her approval a…
/r/TheRedPill16/07/16 04:52 PM
4

Don't be mad or angry at women for being women. Cause that would be like being angry at a basketball hoop for the fact I can't dunk.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/07/16 09:11 AM
2

You're almost right, but miss and important nuance: control in the wider context of the relationship. They enter a conversation to win it rather than to exchange information. They enter a conversation to establish dominance. Winning this individual conversation is part of a larger war to establish, in the relationship, that they get to make the decisions for you. And there is always a decision. Show me any shit test or pointless argument with a woman and there will be, at the core of the argumen…
/r/TheRedPill16/07/16 07:33 AM
3

Just make sure you're making her angry for the right reasons and in the right ways I'd love to see one of the mods write a comprehensive post describing a consolidated set of rules for this. Like, how to piss your wife off and get her wet. I feel like we cover some of it in shit test responses, and some of the rules in "How to Hold Frame" type posts, but not all of it.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/07/16 06:45 AM
2

With women, you sell your attention and emotional availability for sex in exactly the same pattern, but you do it with covert communication, not explicit verbal negotiation.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/16 03:07 AM
2

Good yardstick. I'll try to test this out in a few places.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 06:09 PM
3

shrug :) It helps me. Thought it might help you too. Good luck dude.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 05:29 PM
3

Do whatever you think is best. I'm not trying to convince you further, but I want to be clear about what I'm advocating here. I have kids, I take care of them sometimes. This is my oxytocin release. I have kids too. Me loving and helping my kids doesn't give me the same thing. What I'm talking about is different, it gives me something different and it feels different than my kids. I loved to help others when I was living my happy disney blue pill married life I did that bluepill attention seekin…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 05:21 PM
1

Not sure about OP. Maybe being masculine fills the void he feels, that would kind of make sense with his thing. For me, the best thing I've found for filling that void, is helping other people, anonymously if possible, for no payment (in terms of money, ego, approval). You probably think it sounds crazy, I did too. But one addict to another, see that doesn't work, at least temporarily. Go do something quiet and unglamorous to give to the universe, anonymously, asking nothing in return, and see i…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 04:47 PM
1

they all have this fucking void that they can’t fill. See I thought you had a bit of experience trying to fill a void with women, approval and other substances. I've found that an unselfish mission is the best way to fill that void. What have you found that fills voids?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 04:19 PM
3

You see, the question isn’t how much have you made, but rather what are you selling your ‘self’ for? TFA, great post. Two in one day. Great to have you back. Great summary of the theory. Here's a plan of action for the new guys on how to get a good price for something. 1) Create scarcity. A man once said "If you're good at something never do it for free". Stop giving your time, attention or approval away for free to people who you already have rapport with and who don't add enough value to your …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 03:55 PM
2

Right now you're sad and hurt. When you read NMMNG and WISNIFG and see the truth you are going to be extremely angry. Just remember that you chose this woman and stayed with her after she cheated the first time, so this second time you were a volunteer, not a victim. You're trying to find a way to change her to ensure this doesn't happen again because you think that's the answer. The tools you are trying include removing her secrecy (polygraphs, telling you where she's been) and trying to fix he…
/r/askMRP14/07/16 02:36 PM
1

You Can Never Relive a Party Corollary I have observed a consistent pattern in my life: the first time a new scary/exciting thing happens to me, its awesome and when I try to recreate it the second time (but this time with my design) its crap. First job was great, second was crap. First kickboxing fight was epic, second was crap. First girl was great fun, second was lame. I think there is something about going with the flow of the universe the first time vs my shity little plans the second time.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 02:07 PM
20

Clueless people are generally asking the wrong questions. They ask how to get their wife to love them when they should be asking why they feel bad without her approval. They ask how to pass shit tests when they should be asking why they give a fuck what their wife says. They ask how they should behave in response to a women when they should be asking why they are not leading and forcing her to respond. They ask how they can get enough sex, women, approval, drugs, alcohol, prestige or love to fil…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 01:28 PM
1

But the knowledge that nobody gives a shit about us still saddens me more than anything else. I'm the opposite. I don't care that no one cares. But the constant conflict (asshole boss, shit testing wife, scheming clients) is annoying, even if I recognize that it is the fundamental dynamic that creates those relationships.
/r/TheRedPill14/07/16 07:16 AM
7

I, for one, enjoy the struggle because it forges strength. I recognise that the pressure generated by the destructive entropy that pulls all of us towards failure and death is the driving creative force which has lead to humans becoming what we are and created everything awesome in our world. There is something sacred about that dynamic and as a man I don't shy away from that conflict as its probably the closest thing to a creator I'll ever know. But I can't say I enjoy the struggle.
/r/TheRedPill13/07/16 03:51 PM
3

Humans are herd animals. At a basic, intuitive level humans think what a man "should" get is determined by his dominance. A man can be big, strong, productive and attractive, but if he's a beta pussy who whines, victim pukes and seeks approval, people will shit on him just as hard as if he were 5 foot tall, 50kg goblin. I think there is a nuance missing here when we talk about "caring" If you are weak, depressed, small, poor, uneducated, unconfident, or anything else that prevents you from being…
/r/TheRedPill13/07/16 02:27 PM
1

Adding Value. Fix things around the house. Lead your wife on exciting outings. Own and competently manage major life areas like finances, cars and diy. See problems coming and have a solution waiting. But there's one catch: this only counts if you don't approval seek after delivering the value. Add value and then never speak of it. Wife is acting like a natural alpha! Someone has to. At this point I guess I can practice my game on a single mom who lives in the same house. Isolate&Instigate shoul…
/r/askMRP13/07/16 11:39 AM
2

He just refuses to treat a negative opinion as a problem. Very simple. Core element of frame.
/r/TheRedPill13/07/16 11:29 AM
1

Congrats on 74 days. Keep coming back OP. If you developed a serious enough addiction that you think of things in these terms now (and have probably been to rehab and NA), there is/was something seriously wrong with you mentally and emotionally (underlying the addiction) and fixing that should be your top priority. The 12 steps are one way of doing this that I can personally vouch for, but there are probably other ways that work. If this woman looked at all the men in the world and chose you (fu…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 08:45 AM
5

Dude...she's just testing you. I set up the budget in MINT last month to track expenses and my wife relentlessly hounded me for the password and log in info. This was the time to go broken record on her not having the password. "What do you think I'm a child?", "I can't use some stupid website.", "I just made a mistake." Correct response: I think you proved today that you can't use a web site. Now that that's been firmly established, I'll be managing it. Ha. Then I follow up, "I am not going to …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 05:45 PM
9

Great post Scurve. OK new guys, Scurve's analogy also illustrates why things are rocky at first and what we do here takes time. Imagine if one day you walked into McDonalds and some of the decor was different and kind of inconsistent, they had spray painted over the menu and the guy behind the counter was wearing a jacket and tie with his McDonalds uniform and was like "Do you have a reservation?" You: Of course not, why would I have a reservation this is McDonalds? McD's Cashier: (butthurt) We'…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 05:16 PM
1

Today, wake up, drive to work, need to pull myself back together- How do you guys rebound from stuff like this? I plan to move on like nothing happened, not bring it up again, and keep fighting the fight. Its not "moving on like nothing happened". Its stopping doing things that don't work (victim puking, being butthurt) and starting doing things that do work (lifting, improving, holding frame, dread). It just feels like doing nothing because you're going to not do all that pussy shit that you fe…
/r/askMRP12/07/16 10:22 AM
3

she is being fun and enjoying it and then last minute says i dont wanna have sex So she got you super turned on by physically fooling around with you and then just shrugged and walked away without getting you off? That's not LMR, that's more like overt disrespect and treating you like a chump.
/r/askMRP12/07/16 10:17 AM
5

I brought this up to her (I believe this is a Beta move) As a man, initiating (everything, not just sex) is your job. Don't ask your woman to do your job for you. We dont live together yet but it is something we are discussing. This is something that she should have to earn, if you allow it at all. Should I tell her why (as in we need a break etc) or just say I am tired Saying you're tired is weak. Saying you need a break is a bit nukish. Just say you're busy and leave it at that.
/r/askMRP12/07/16 10:13 AM
2

Yes, stop being "civilized" by other people and create the civilization you choose through your own actions.
/r/TheRedPill11/07/16 05:57 AM
2

She "doesn't like being treated this way", ultimately giving an ultimatum to me. OP, there are two sides to this and its extremely important to work on both. On one had she's saying "Go back to being beta or I'll leave". The correct response to this is to tell her to do what she feels is best but you're not going to become more compliant so that she'll stay. If you agreed to be more compliant so that she'd stay, you failed this test. But the other side to this is her saying "You need to add more…
/r/askMRP11/07/16 03:43 AM
3

A main event is where your wife makes a credible threat to divorce you in order to try to maintain control and you hold frame and tell to go ahead and divorce you if she wants to but that she will never control you again. This is you getting dominated by your wife. But at least you're trying. Keep going. We were all at this point once.
/r/askMRP10/07/16 04:02 PM
28

"Grow up!" "Aren't you too old for that?" "Aren't you a bit too old for chasing girls and partying?" "Isn't it time to be a man, have kids, and buy a house?" Someone applying disapproval to try to control your behavior (especially against your own best interest) is a shit test, pure and simple. Acting against your own best interest in order to gain approval and social acceptance is the essence be being beta. Strong men do things that are in their interest, simply because they are in their intere…
/r/TheRedPill10/07/16 03:54 PM
1

But does the therapist tell him how to be more alpha? My experience is that most people close to a bad blue pill relationship will understand the fundamental problem and tell the husband to be "less nice" or "more of a man" but have no clue how a blue pill man might actually do that. Just like people give young men the uselessly simplistic advice to be "more confident".
/r/TheRedPill10/07/16 02:07 PM
1

Attraction/arousal is a response generated by a more primitive part of the brain, like hunger or fear. This is why it's not controlled by logic and the conscious mind. Try logically explaining to someone that they shouldn't be hungry. The interesting aspect here is how women's conscious is so unaware of their response, unlike hunger or attraction in men.
/r/TheRedPill10/07/16 05:33 AM
3

This article The Enduring Enigma of Female Sexual Desire is largely vague, bluepill nonsense with one important point. “Often for women, genital, physical arousal precedes the psychological experience of desire,” Diamond says. “Whereas in men, desire precedes arousal.” When she says "the psychological experience of desire" this means that the woman realizes in her conscious mind (or admits) that she is attracted. So what this is saying is that women are turned on (aroused) without the recognitio…
/r/TheRedPill09/07/16 05:06 PM
1

I feel empty inside. I’m lacking at a fundamental level right now. I actually feel bad for myself. This is the exact feeling functioning alcoholics have when they are not drunk. They drink to relieve it. And for exactly the reasons you describe, most recovering alcoholics have serious problems with women and money - they relieve the incompleteness. This is, in a sense, an addiction. Exactly. This dynamic is the primary mechanism that makes men beta, and I'll explain why. At the core is the idea …
/r/TheRedPill09/07/16 04:17 PM
1

If you've never lifted before you should join a gym with proper equipment and get a little bit of personal training (like 4 sessions) so that you have proper form when you move into heavy weight on bench, squat and deadlift. I understand that going to the gym for the first time is more intimidating than going walking by yourself. Consider overcoming that fear to be the first step in a long war against your own ego.
/r/askMRP09/07/16 03:52 PM
1

There's a few subtly different things going on here. She avoids him, walks the other way, etc. The author calls this passive-avoidance This is avoiding a conflict. Personally I think a strong man should never do this. The mrp technique of STFU and walk away is an aggressive response to female misbehaviour (in an ongoing conflict) that involves withdrawing the things she values: your presence and emotional availability. Abandonment (even temporary) is a strong weapon to hit a woman with. Its most…
/r/askMRP09/07/16 02:19 PM
3

If you have a mismatch in a woman's dominance needs vs a guy's natural level of dominance there will be issues. Isn't it awesome that men can change their dominance level by learning a set of interaction techniques (like shit test responses) and adopting some sensible new attitudes (like ownership).
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/16 01:39 PM
1

I try to lead, she gets upset that I am "strong arming" I try and be decisive and she says I am heavy handed. Ok, so you've stopped letting her push you around but shes not submitting or following either. You need to give her more reasons to follow you. Do this by leading her to exciting thing, sorting out difficult problems and adding value by being the daddy in her life. Right now she probably just thinks you're an opinionated disobedient servant who no longer listens to her.
/r/askMRP08/07/16 01:27 PM
1

So, am I irrationally reacting to a mere acquaintanceship? No. Is this benign? No. Is there an element of baiting? ...er...masturbating? I don't understand the question. Are there warning bells? Lots. Should I attempt to put a permanent stop to it? No. They've almost certainly been fucking for a long time. You should document evidence and divorce her.
/r/askMRP08/07/16 01:14 PM
1

In addition to Pem's solid advice, you might check out this guy's technique.
/r/askMRP07/07/16 03:51 PM
1

People say chivalry is dead but I like to hug people before I shit on them during the worst week of their lives. Isn't askmrp supposed to be less harsh than mrp?
/r/askMRP07/07/16 03:41 PM
1

It was pretty disrespectful. I'd probably go with a shrug and a casual dismissive comment about if she wasn't so irrelevant it would be sad that she's such a low quality wife.
/r/askMRP07/07/16 03:29 PM
3

Its unfortunate that your wife cheated. Bro hug That sucks. She cheated because you are weak and need too much from her emotionally. I have been so confused and trying to get back to "us" Proceeded to take the dog out for a bathroom break (where I collapsed in the yard). I was devastated. Now I knew. Stormed in the room while she slept. Threw phone on the bed. Eventually, toward the evening we spoke. Kind of worked it out. Accepted her apology and hugged her. I know, I know, someone told you it …
/r/askMRP07/07/16 02:53 AM
5

Me: "So about your outburst this morning, was that like some special, magical mandarin?" I don't understand why you brought it up again. Its like you care what she thinks or says. That's a losing strategy.
/r/askMRP07/07/16 01:59 AM
1

This is a well known dynamic: women are risk adverse and comfort seeking and therefore will not support their men investing the time and taking the risks necessary to build real wealth. Women would prefer a reliable donkey provider who stays at their miserable safe job.
/r/askMRP07/07/16 01:48 AM
3

I suggest the following strategy. 1) Go home. Apologize for throwing a plate at her (one of the biggest losses of frame I've ever seen here). 2) Explain that its your house and your wife doesn't get to decide where you sleep. She doesn't have to speak to you, but you'll be residing at the house that you pay for and legally own/rent so that you can help with your daughter. Whether or not you are there is not a decision she gets to make. Don't argue, just keep repeating this. If you'd read WISNIFG…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 04:23 PM
1

Likewise, she wrestles control from my grasp but doesn't really want it. Not really. Having control seems to make her unhappy. A woman will always try to dominate a man in a romantic relationship. If she successfully dominates him, she'll get a servant. If he successfully rebuffs her attempts to dominate him, he will have proved himself a strong alpha man and she'll feel safe and follow him. This is why all women shit test men and try to dominate them. Unless the man imposes a cost, it always wo…
/r/askMRP06/07/16 03:42 PM
1

No hugs for a couplea years. Woah. That's kind intense. What does she want from you? Attention at least? OK, I'm going to fix some of this for you. It seems to me this is what she I needs, biologically and socially and personally - that in a very strange way I don't like but am coming to accept, this is her my golden rule - if she I will be happy being treated treating her differently, then I should treat her as she I wants to be treated her. The above was way too focused on her. Focus on what y…
/r/askMRP06/07/16 01:42 PM
3

The contrasting dynamic is important. If you try to control her into not going to parties you become the scared, annoying, boring guy who is making her life lame. You make A and B into the exciting, free, fun guys who are trying to lead her to awesome things. You might as well buy them some condoms and rent them a nice hotel room to fuck your gf in because that's what you're setting them up to do. Don't go down that road. Become more awesome than A and B, start gaming other women, and then who c…
/r/askMRP06/07/16 07:23 AM
1

Yeah - this still gets me. I feel this at home and (less often) at work. Whenever you feel this pressure, ask yourself what you're trying to get from the other person. Someone can only pressure you if you are relying on them for something (approval, money, sex). Figure out where in your life this is happening, develop other sources of the things you need and tell the people pressuring you to fuck off.
/r/askMRP06/07/16 03:12 AM
6

If you want to stay with this girl, you need to be more attractive and display higher value than dudes like A and B. The following behavior are unattractive and DLVs live with our parents I didn't have any plans for the evening I told her I wouldn't want her to go I told her I would resent her if she went. The fact that you know or care about this is a DLV. she goes to the BBQ and she doesn't get home until late, past 12am. If you don't live together, how do you know when she got home? The follo…
/r/askMRP06/07/16 02:54 AM
2

This is the type of stuff that you need to do to lead. The planning is good, but you also need to be considerate because that's a key part of leading and right now she doesn't trust you. As someone who travels regularly for work I literally cringed when I read this statement. I picked my wife from airport arrival, then parked right there at the parking, and pulled out my own luggage as well. Surprise! We are traveling to a nearby big city for long weekend! She was grumpy and pissed that she is t…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 02:35 AM
15

Would you let your 4 year old daughter tell you how to do your job? Why the fuck are you letting a girl riding emotions tell you how to live your life? For me the key to really getting this was realizing ownership. Its my marriage, my house, my family, my life. I fucking run all of them and the other people involved are passengers. It wasn't our marriage that was having trouble. Its my marriage and I'm not sure if this wife is going to work or whether I need a new one. I am going to make my life…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 05:25 PM
2

I think its fairly well established that women becoming more testing (shit/comfort) in general during pregnancy. That was certainly my experience with my wife. This fits with our evo-psych theories on these things. Women's biggest biological risk is having kids with a weak or uncommitted man. As a comparison, men's biggest biological risk is raising kids that aren't theirs (I feel like there's a word for that, but what could it be? JK). So if the risk of having kids with a weak or uncommitted ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 03:10 PM
3

My story has similarities with yours: beta/orbiting in secondary school, learned some PUA, met my wife, tried to be reasonable in the relationship, went bluepill/betabux, found MRP and put things on the right track. But I don't read anything about kids in your story which means you have a HUGE advantage and plausible threat of divorce. That's an incredibly effective weapon, even if you don't have the frame to wield it yet. A few points on what you wrote. A big issue I'm struggling with after I h…
/r/askMRP05/07/16 02:54 PM
2

The question you asked was how to know what is fair. The only opinion that should answer that question for you is your own. Anything else is a beta mentality, and I'll explain why. Betas submit to more dominant individuals, generally in exchange for social acceptance or approval. The reason you think you need to let other people define what is fair for you is because you think that's a requirement to be in a relationship or group with them, i.e. gain their acceptance and approval. You should be …
/r/askMRP05/07/16 02:29 PM
1

Your wife shit tests through her own inaction as opposed to overt criticism. Acta non verba. Start taking her toys away.
/r/askMRP04/07/16 05:00 AM
6

Codependent people, addicts, alcoholics are all people with a deep and withering pain they are trying desperately to relieve. When they don't use their drug/person/process of choice, that pain comes back and they have to do something to feel better. This is why they do things that seem crazy to an outsider looking in on their lives. I think a very similar dynamic describes the behavior of a beta man tolerating his wifes psychobitch behaviour because he can't handle her being mad at him at withdr…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/16 11:59 AM
3

She doesn't want to fuck you because you are not attractive: overweight, less successful than her, not dominant, not creative, approval seeking. Notice those are all your choices and things that you can change. She is checking out of the marriage because you are not adding value to her life as a husband: not paying the bills, not attracting her, couldn't keep your unskilled job, not leading your family. Again, notice how all of those are things are 100% your fault and things you can choose to ch…
/r/askMRP03/07/16 02:55 AM
3

But my wife wants a divorce. She wants to leave town and take our kid. Stop displaying low value, make a little progress and see if this doesn't become less of an immediate threat. A lot of people come here in this situation and don't end up divorcing. she talked me into moving into a new house that we can't afford You mean you made a bad financial decision and are trying to blame it on your wife. promised she would start working to help, but hasn't. Not in 4 years. What have you done to enforce…
/r/askMRP02/07/16 03:47 PM
3

For anything that comes from outside of your frame. Amused > Dismissive > Contemptuous > Angry > Sad > Fearful > Self pitying > Begging I think you'll find Chad's response to a booty call rejection is Amused/Dismissive.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/16 09:33 AM
2

Because you're fucking alone here. You're alone and you own everything, because you're the fucking captain. Its all yours. Its your marriage, what are you doing to improve it? Its your family, what are you doing to strengthen it? Its your job/team what are you doing to drive success. What other people do and say are part of the playing field. What is your plan?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/16 09:18 AM
2

that I have mentioned that if I don't get my needs met with her then I will get my needs met elsewhere. That's not dread. That's a weak, unattractive man talking and making threats. Dread is an attractive man acting and showing that he has other high SMV options. She says that sex is the most important thing to me. Correct, its a deal breaker. Don't apologize for that. Women want men's emotional availability, men want women's sexual availability. That's how it is. But until you've changed enough…
/r/askMRP02/07/16 09:14 AM
2

I was called names, I was threatened, my livelihood was threatened. I was manipulated, I got FOG'd, not in the fogging sense, in the BPD sense, Fear Obligation Guilt. If her opinions effect you then you still have work to do. Do you have kids? I'm confused, have you filed for divorce or are you just venting?
/r/askMRP02/07/16 09:08 AM
4

What is a better rejoinder to being called out on leaving as retribution? I usually hang out for a few min after a rejection and make small talk to show it doesn't matter, because it doesnt. Then, if questioned I'd go with - "Its fine, but I'm very busy and this is boring. I'm going to do something more interesting."
/r/askMRP01/07/16 03:03 PM
1

And her sex slowly became my crutch. Our record is 9 times in a day. You might find its her crutch too. Which might be why she says she: "thank you" Not that that's bad. I think thats about where a lot of us are trying to get to.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/16 02:53 PM
1

My wife is almost never openly disrespectful now. I think there were a few things that sorted out the disrespect problem. 1) I became very consistent with frame control. I defended shit tests consistently and aggressively, and usually involved some form of counter attack after the A&A. I teased regularly. I got to the point where I enjoyed arguing because it affected me less than it affected her. 2) I started rewarding good behavior and added more value in her life. When she did sweet things, I …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 10:33 AM
5

Recovery from alcoholism will probably be a prerequisite for you successfully applying MRP. This is because MRP requires a certain amount of emotional and mental toughness. If you are an alcoholic that's white-knuckling it to stay sober, you're going to be an emotional mess like this But I'm totally fucked right now mentally, crying all the time And its going to be virtually impossible to maintain the (mental, physical, spiritual) discipline required for what we do here. Doing the 12 steps thoro…
/r/askMRP29/06/16 10:11 AM
2

How long you have implemented red pill into your marriage? 9 Months Where are you at on the 12 Levels of Dread? Level 5 How long have you been married, and how is it going? 7 Years married, together for 16. Its better than it ever has been. How is your sex life? (quantity and quality) Better than it has been in a decade. About once per week, quality is improving. We have 3 kids including a newborn so this seems like a reasonable level. Before MRP it was once every 6 weeks. How are you? (happines…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 04:54 PM
2

I would go with "I'm doing what's right for me as a man and us as a family, I don't know, it just makes sense to me." She will disagree, you will shrug and not GAF.
/r/askMRP28/06/16 04:26 AM
2

Mine did the same thing for years. The thing to understand is that the logic, facts and details are not the point and that's why she doesn't worry about them. She's just attacking to try to force you to let her decide how you will behave. Laugh and respond with your favorite shit test response. Counter attack a little yourself maybe. But, consistently show her that these tactics will NOT give her the results she wants from you.
/r/askMRP28/06/16 04:21 AM
1

Write your Vision for your life. Spend some time working on a plan to deliver it. Consider your family as part of your current team. There is a book called extreme ownership that could help with the team and the plan.
/r/askMRP24/06/16 05:53 PM
1

OP, I believe this is the standard response to shut down this type of manipulation. If that's not enough you could make it a bit more insulting by adding a comment about paying her to walk away afterwards.
/r/askMRP24/06/16 05:26 PM
2

A real man does this by shouldering the weight because he is the man, the father and the husband of his household. Because he is the fucking daddy. Cad had a good comment about this. Everyone wants a daddy, especially women. Someone to take care of them. Someone to handle all the scary stuff in life. Someone stronger standing behind them who will give them direction and sort things out if they go wrong. Show that you can be that man and all kinds of problems disappear.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 05:22 PM
1

The book is extremely high quality. Has anyone been to one of the groups or workshops?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 04:27 PM
2

It's to give the most simple, inclusive, and concise definition of frame I could develop. At its essence, Frame is always about decisions. In every example you give where frame becomes relevant, there is a decision that one person asserts their right to make, frequently for another person. Sometimes this is called a shit test (she asserts her right to decide what you will do or whether your behavior was acceptable). Sometimes we call it a shared opinion (one person asserts their right to make a …
/r/TheRedPill23/06/16 03:40 PM
1

Women want men's emotional availability and commitment. As a beta man, this is one of the primary things she wants from you and in large quantities. You want to spend your time (a scarce resource) on something that brings her no value, so she exercises her dominance to get that resource dedicated to what she wants. This is what dominant people do, simply because they can. But the fact that she wants this from you gives you power. If you can ignore her disapproval, you can make your attention and…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/16 08:11 AM
1

My Fiancé and I currently live on the opposite ends of the world. Wait, wait, wait. OP what's the story on this? Is this a temporary work assignment for her or is she someone you met online?
/r/askMRP23/06/16 03:31 AM
2

When you didn't divorce her for cheating in 2014 you proved that she owned you and her current behaviour is the result of this epic DLV. What are you getting from her owning you that motivates you to tolerate this behaviour?
/r/askMRP23/06/16 03:28 AM
1

Looks of a child mean almost nil. You mean that a child not looking like you means very little, which is true. My point is that a child looking exactly like you is a strong indication of paternity.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 05:55 PM
2

I think its important to talk only when necessary. If a man unnecessarily talks about something before or after he does it, his wife (and any one else) will rightly assume that he only did it looking for approval. Unnecessarily talking about action is literally the best way to turn an oak move into a DLV by approval seeking.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 04:30 PM
1

Can you think of any scenario (pass, fail) where you wouldn't want to know for sure?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 01:53 PM
1

These two things should have nothing to do with each other. Time will tell if either is true.
/r/askMRP22/06/16 01:35 PM
1

So you had like 20 problems. Now you have 23. Nice work. What, of value, have you gotten out of this?
/r/askMRP22/06/16 06:29 AM
3

It's next to impossible to "take charge" when it comes to the baby since her biological instincts are so strong. Take charge of everything else. Be out in front of everything else. Sort things before they need sorting.
/r/askMRP21/06/16 03:45 PM
2

From a relationship, most men want sex, respect, and some helpful female companionship. What do you want that you think you will get from marriage? The answer to that question and your problems with your girlfriend are directly related.
/r/askMRP21/06/16 03:39 PM
2

I saw a post here recently talking about different types of value husbands give to their wives. Dread is a stick. What are you giving as a carrot?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 02:03 PM
1

Finally, she said: "So you aren't even going to apologize the fact that you called me a jerk". This is about her asserting her right to decide how you will act (whether or not you will call her a jerk). Whether or not you let her make that decision is 100% within your control and inside your head. You are completely in control of this. Next time, simply decide that you have made the decision that your behavior was acceptable, you've considered her opinion, and you've rejected it. The way to verb…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 04:30 PM
11

Yeah, it doesn't really seem fair to the faggots to compare them to the weaksauce beta pussies who post half of the fragile egotistical bullshit we see.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 04:17 PM
8

MRP isn't a support group its an improvement group. With men, improvement almost always comes from conflict or suffering. We nurture conflict to drive improvement in men and truth in ideas. Like cooking impurities out of a material. Once the material is pure, the heat is no longer a problem. Strong men dance with conflict, they don't run from it.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 04:09 PM
3

Start with leadership. Make a plan, tell your wife what it is, execute the plan. Don't rely on her to organize things. Also, when I travel I don't facetime with my kids as much as I want because they miss me and it makes them sad. It's fun for me but, because they love me, not as much fun for them. You should definitely talk to your kids on father's day, but their hesitancy to speak might be related to the dynamic I describe.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 05:31 AM
1

The Economist is one of the most credible news and analysis sources for the transnational business elite. If you're the CEO of a 2 billion dollar company flying to Singapore to visit your APAC headquarters, you probably read The Economist on the plane. That's publicity with a valuable audience.
/r/TheRedPill20/06/16 05:26 AM
1

Great post. So why is he checked out? Why is he overweight? Why doesn’t he dress better? Why is he posing for embarrassing photos? I bet that guy is only there because 1) He wants the emotional approval of his wife and kids. This is why he wears the stupid hat in a desperate attempt to get it. 2) His wife will be angry (withdraw her emotional approval) if he doesn't give her and the kids some emotional availability and attention with the tiny bit of free time he has. Even though she probably has…
/r/TheRedPill19/06/16 04:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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