TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

repurposedschleem Archive

View 4 posts and 165 comments by repurposedschleem on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
330

Keanu Reeves the person is who comes to mind immediately. Perhaps he’s done something wrong lately as I don’t follow pop culture but last I knew he was pretty solidly HV. Most men with celebrity status are not particularly HV. Tom Hanks, maybe? Again, maybe he’s been canceled. Isn’t it sad, our public-sphere male “role models” for the most part are decidedly LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 06:25 PM
36

This poor woman was groomed by a predator. I refuse to classify her as a pickme…she didn’t have any agency here. Is there a way to reach out to her? This is abusive on his end and yes men use and abuse religion to hurt women. And the women tell themselves these stories as a survival mechanism. She’s not some lowly pickme even if she shares some common tropes (fighting for your marriage). She’s an abuse victim and probably doesn’t see a way out. Calling her names isn’t helpful. The one who needs …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:47 PM
18

I agree on the dollar amount being normal (or even a little small!) for a six hour date, and his grousing about that is LV. However, it’s an establishment that doesn’t do reservations. Of course he didn’t make one. Most trendy/hip/nice places in my area are first-come, first-serve only so I believe it. My friends, boyfriend, and I and whoever we’re going out with still agree on a time to show up, regardless of reservations. I assumed everyone was like that, I suppose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:29 PM
56

Yes, I think he is justified on this one, assuming the context he provided is accurate. They agreed to meet at 7, and the OOP says right off the bat that the establishment doesn’t take reservations. So obviously he didn’t make one. I personally consider punctuality to be a HV trait, and I would negatively judge a man who was unapologetically half an hour late (not that I would wait for them).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:21 PM
105

I got 11 flags but i think the worst one is the usual “women are vending machines I put drinks/$$ into and sex falls out” LVM attitude. That being said I also prefer people being proactive about being late, as a former always-late I always made sure the people I was meeting knew what was up and I wasn’t flaking. (I’ve since corrected the behavior.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 03:31 PM
112

My NVX used to do all kinds of crap to his car to make it louder more “badass” or whatever stupid shit. I remember he bought some after market thing to make the exhaust louder right around the time he bought a ring. And this man had the audacity to complain to me about the expense of a ring (1500 was his budget!) after dropping 3k on his car and guitars and himself like it was nothing literally around the same time. And called me a materialistic b*tch for calling him on it. The peen? Honestly a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 09:09 PM
61

Sure! I mean that we and our parents and their parents and so on were fed cultural (capitalistic) messaging by those whose fortunes were built on exploitation and taxpayer subsidies (socialism for the wealthy, bootstraps for the poor) that our fellow humans are our competition for food, for shelter, for good educations and good jobs. The belief that you’re on your own, your success is on you and you ALONE, ~personal responsibility~ above all helped break down unions, break down villages, break d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 06:19 PM
147

I think this is fascinating and I’ve wondered about this myself, having come from generations of poverty and wondering which comes first. I believe that the fact that many men (& women!) my age (late 20s) don’t really see a future — in the US we’re terminally underpaid, with no real parental leave, 401ks are vulnerable to economic shifts, most of us are a back injury or ruined transmission away from irreversible economic ruin, etc etc, has definitely created some kind of cultural nihilism among …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 05:44 PM
160

I think about this in the shower a lot. Like, what do they do that I cannot? They provide semen if I want a baby? I can take care of that myself in a variety of ways, really. How do they complement my life? And the only thing I can think of right now is that I do feel safer at night in public with my boyfriend, my male relatives, or in the presence of things like door-men, bouncers. The reason I don’t feel so safe? Literally other men. They invent the problem they decide to solve. The reason I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 02:19 PM
11

I love when people, especially men, use big words to try to sound smart only to highlight how stupid they actually are. Like y’all invented this bastardized mashup language it’s so sad you can’t even use it properly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 12:48 PM
27

Nah, the law of “if he wanted to, he would,” is pretty universal. Henry VIII created a whole got dang church for Anne Boleyn…and I know what happened next but the point is: if a man wants to do something, he will make it happen, rules and protocol be damned. I mean…Camilla never went away. Harry straight up left the royal family. Will waited forever because he knew he could get away with it, as she gave him a proposal ultimatum in uni days and he dumped her a la Warner and Elle in Legally Blonde…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 12:14 PM
94

My dad gave me a talk when I was about 13/14 about how most men are depraved and “only after one thing” and that I’d be better off focusing on school and establishing a career instead of wasting time with boys who weren’t capable of loving. He taught me some basic self-defense stuff too when I told him about the big football players following me around one day when I was late to class talking about my a** and how cute I’d look…I don’t even want to finish it. However, didn’t believe me when his b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 11:24 AM
31

Yup! But I wonder how do we word this concept: say, a year in, he’s been nothing but wonderful and if nothing ever changed would be “HV.” But, we, cautious as we should be, are wanting to communicate that we’re aware and ready for the possible mask slip? I’ve used the phrase “so-far HVM” but wonder if there is something more accurate out there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 03:50 PM
54

This this this. My NVX turned my trauma into victim blaming, into a way to manipulate and control when I made the mistake of telling him (SA when we were together.) I should have known — the man used to get hard and wanted sex when I cried, even if he was the one making me cry. My current partner passed the “blood in the water” test (I actually used a really old trauma I’ve since healed from so it wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t something he could weaponize). He’s also never gotten hard from seeing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 11:12 AM
14

Yes, thank you, both of you! I am vigilant out of common courtesy but knowing that someone could badmouth me due to a medical condition hurts a little. Like, I didn’t choose this. But manbaby is choosing not to clean up after himself and that is a huge problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 01:06 AM
23

I agree with almost all of this. But my childhood trauma? My relationship trauma (which is intimately related to my mental health history)? No man is ever going to know the nitty gritty of either of those ever again. Enough to understand why I only see my mother and father on my terms. My relationship trauma? Never, ever. Men will 9/10 use your trauma against you, and it’s not worth sharing for the 1/10 who might be supportive. Some might say it’s lying by omission but it’s truly self preservati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 07:50 PM
160

My boyfriend stuck out to me out of a sea of fish-holders and no-dramas was that it was actually written, had decent grammar, and his pictures were QUALITY. Greenest flag was that he answered multiple prompts and didn’t say anything that’s on here. Helped that he was cute heh Come to find out, one of his former coworkers and HER WIFE helped my boyfriend build his profile because he didn’t want to come across as a fuckboy and didn’t think his male friends would be as valuable a sounding board as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 07:24 PM
266

“Not into games” = unless they’re the mind games I’m playing on you and if you call me out I’ll gaslight you 🥰 Just a list of physical requirements expected from the woman: “I am beyond entitled and will waste your time but also be a dick about it the whole time” Let’s go on adventures: “my idea of a great first date is Taco Bell in exchange for head in the backseat of my Civic and I’ll definitely ghost you” Emojis = “I’m too lazy to even write an office quote so if you expect literally anything…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 05:43 PM
290

This makes me so sad for a couple reasons. I have IBS. I am the one running to the bathroom and I live in fear of my partner hearing the…godawful sounds/smells. I am VIGILANT about hiding it from everyone. It pains me to know that if we were to get married he might find me repulsive simply due to the sounds/smells that occur sometimes. My trigger is stress and yoga and therapy only do so much. But why is she cleaning up after him??? That’s horrifying to me as a sufferer. I gag cleaning up after …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 02:32 PM
35

I refuse to give up entirely, though I understand the inclination to do so and I would never begrudge a fellow woman who made that choice for herself. There are good men out there. Rare, yes, but they exist. I had the most success when I decided I wasn’t dating to find love, but dating to entertain myself/go to fun places. It sounds crazy, but centering yourself puts off the NV/LVM looking for a target who reek of “desperate for love and validation” and acts as a signal to HVM that you’re intere…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 07:48 PM
10

How did you “find out?” It’s the “fond” and the “should” for me. You’re not his priority and you definitely don’t actually know he’s HV this early on. Man is a complete stranger. I’d bench him entirely/move him down in your roster if I were in your shoes. When I was going on dates, my now HVM told me around date 3 unprompted, after he booked up my own schedule (3 very nice, unique dates in about 10 days) that he had canceled his other dates and wanted to focus on me. And then he asked what I tho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 12:45 PM
41

May I add a thought to this? lol I’ll do it anyway but I’ve been thinking about this. I used to think I was a “size queen,” which is a term I dislike but it’s also a widely known term. Like, I had had mind blowing sex with a couple very well hung guys and resigned myself to being “one of those” (even tho I knew I was allowed a preference, cultural messaging that I’m bad/a wh*re for preferring big/thick takes time to unlearn) and was worried when it finally came time to have sex with my HV partne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 12:15 PM
130

This is why very religious men, of any belief system — including those dogmatic atheists infesting the web — are automatic dealbreakers for me, point blank period end of story. I am so happy Anna and Jack are mostly free of this man. Jack deserves a HV role model and Anna deserves and HV companion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 11:56 AM
7

It took my current boyfriend telling me he wasn’t comfortable with the rough sex I used to think I liked before I realized I had some serious wires crossed. Now that I’ve been with someone who, like, made love with/to me as opposed to “f%cking,” I realize the difference and I much prefer the former.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 02:19 PM
233

Fathers help create the next generation of monstrous men and pickme women by not being emotionally present, assuming they don’t straight up abandon the family for work or divorcing mom when she’s less fuckable and everyone knows it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 09:12 PM
2

Omg my lactose intolerance could NEVER. That’s wild
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 07:05 PM
2

Yup. And it got worse after my arthritis diagnosis. That POS never loved me and I clung on even when it was obvious because I didn’t yet love myself. I wish I could go back in time and rescue myself. My one regret in life is not kicking that man to the curb sooner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 04:55 PM
5

Wait what no TP at all? Do they not wipe their asses? Or did they just hide it like weirdos?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 04:35 PM
300

Honestly? Just going on dates and having conversations. It’ll build itself if the guy is worthwhile. Any man worth your time won’t rush sex. Consider them losing interest as them doing you a favor. Thank you, next. I had a 8-man roster at my peak. Yeah it got repetitive sometimes telling the same stories and keeping things straight (journaling here helps!!) but talking, mutual novel experiences, laughter, these are all things that bond all humans — men and women, too. That’s how I had a blast da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:48 PM
35

It’s depressing and sad, but it also gives me peace. You grow up being sold the illusion of a partner who loves you as much as you do them, but in most cases…it’s not gonna happen. It’s okay to mourn the dream, the lie. But it’s also important to see what a gift this realization is. I don’t need to worry about finding a guy, because they probably won’t even notice how wonderful I am anyway. And what do I need that shit energy in my life for, anyway? I have a great career, hobbies, friends, a won…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:40 PM
21

All this would do is tell me he isn’t interested in a second date?? Shit, that he wasn’t interested in the first! This is when I’d send my sister “the signal” and gtfo. Even at my lowest pickme, I’d pick up on that stuff. 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 12:36 PM
107

My soon to be BIL has a full head of hair, and he is a complete treasure of a human who adores my sister and even makes us in-laws feel like family. He actually helped me realize I deserve that level of love/support/kindness in a relationship that he gives my sister and helped me move out of my abusers home. But he’s absolutely an outlier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 12:04 PM
26

My NVX told on his buddies once and said to me that men don’t usually want just platonic friendship with a presumed hetero woman — they keep her around in the event that they can get in her pants. This was when I was young and naive and a male coworker invited me (but not my ex) to a bonfire. My current partner has some female friends that he met through work — and coincidentally enough most of them are in marriages with other women. I vetted this HARD and was satisfied eventually that he’s one …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 11:50 AM
59

It would be kinda pitiful if it weren’t so gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 10:31 AM
298

This happened to me at work, guy kept calling me some name that sounds like mine but isn’t, getting louder and louder until he was practically shouting and I figured out he was trying to address me. I finally responded “the f#ck do you want?! If you need something from me get my name right” then I went back to my cube without a response. Suffice it to say scrote only talked to me about work stuff after and magically learned my name :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 10:29 AM
136

Yeah guys will never admit it because sometimes they don’t even realize it themselves but it’s a show of disrespect toward you. And it won’t change, he’ll only get pissy if you say anything. Cut your losses if this is unacceptable to you. You deserve respect! Speaking to both of you here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 06:43 PM
34

Therapy saved my life. I’ve talked a bit about it here but I’d been in therapy off and on for years, trying to suss out what was wrong with me — why I was such a terrible, impatient, materialistic, bossy woman and partner. I was never honest about my partner, most likely doing that subconscious thing where women protect their abusers out of fear of retaliation. Finally, something in me snapped. I think it was finding out how much he seemed to know an awful lot about how OnlyFans works despite ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 05:08 PM
2

Oh, maybe I did! It was my first and only OLD time, as my previous relationship began prior to the swipe-style apps being much of a thing, so I didn’t think too hard about initial swipes, but was ruthless about conversations and dates. I did find a few good men but like you said, it was basically dumpster diving no matter which approach you take. I might go for it again if my current man has a mask slip, but I won’t dedicate so much time to it lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 09:46 AM
16

So I will admit, my initial singular criterion was: could I see myself out in public with this man without embarrassment. I paid for premium so I could see I had 200+ men who had swiped right on me my first day. I can’t remember exact numbers, I just remember getting OVERWHELMED once there were two zeros following a number. I’m not the hottest/cleverest/sweetest woman in the world but I also know men run a numbers game so it was less about anything on my profile and more that my profile was even…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 01:45 AM
152

Haha I laughed honestly but you’re not wrong, like at all. That’s how I found my HVM. I think it was something like out of, idk, let’s say 100 OLD matches, I COMBED those profiles and messaged roughly 30% of them. So thirty were left. 2/4-ish of them said something creepy or boring or stupid and nixed themselves for me (very kind of them). Down to 16ish. Out of the ones who didn’t manage to fuck up a simple text convo, I agreed to meet all 16 of them actually. Some of them tried pulling the “can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:32 PM
3

The optimist in me sees this as the gene pool attempting to chlorinate and supports other men outing themselves. The realist knows some poor woman with unresolved trauma is gonna try to “save” this poor misunderstood man. I forever resent the romance novels that pretend that the only thing these lost-causes need is the love of a decent woman to be less deleterious to humanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 06:44 PM
150

I wish this had been my litmus test as a younger woman holy fuck, would have saved me so much time and heart break. My abuser NVX refused to pick up some products for me. I was stuck in a lab all day (college freshman!) and I texted him to please pick some up on his way to my dorm bc I’d started early and was pretty sure I was out. He said no he’s not whipped. Even at 18 I felt weirdly sad and angry that he would rather me bleed all over my clothes than help me out. My dad ended up saving the da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:26 PM
3

Ooh thank you for that. I had mine tied to my iTunes account so canceling was a breeze, it’s good to be aware that it isn’t always that simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 08:43 PM
25

Hell yeah! Capable men who follow through are the sexiest! Find your own opportunities to “be needed!” My boyfriend’s putting in a new carpet for me. Why? I mentioned in passing that I didn’t like the one I had and that I knew my landlord, a friend of mine, would pay me if I replaced it. So what does this HVM do? Tells me to let him know when I’ve picked one out and he’ll put it in. swoon And he literally texted me yesterday asking if I’ve thought about any yet. He did my chores while I was at y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 08:39 PM
20

I found that if you pay, you’re given more agency. If you’re on the free version, you’re blatantly the product the app is trying to sell, for lack of better phrasing. I paid for bumble gold (or whatever the premium is called), and had a much better experience as I literally had more control over who I saw, who I matched with, who I gave my extremely precious time to. I actually met my partner via Bumble but I had to wade through 4 months of duds to find one gem. Worth it, in my opinion, but I’m …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:26 PM
161

Dude was definitely gauging how you’d react to that story to see if he could get some strippers “on the sly.” You didn’t react the way he expected — he got big mad. I realize I’m a stranger on the internet so I don’t know him the way you do — but I’ll echo the others here: if he’s cool with his buddy lying to his wife and crossing her boundaries, he’s cool with it in his life too. Think long and hard if you want to marry someone who associates with a liar who clearly has zero respect for his wif…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:19 PM
25

This! Social media, I have this little pet theory I’ve been mulling over, has created a world of wannabe-celebrities-influencers and it’s turning us into consumerist zombies. As in, before social media, how many people felt the need to “announce” things to their social circles, like a press-release, beyond major, major life events such as births, engagements, funerals? Of course, I was 11 when MySpace/FB came online, so my pre-social media memories are hazy, but my older siblings definitely didn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 06:33 PM
15

I can definitely agree, thank you for sharing your perspective! Capitalism really undermines actual taking care of oneself as it requires us to feel some sort of deficiency that only it’s products (and parting with our very hard earned money, most of us) can resolve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 06:28 PM
56

I love this — accepting our limitations. I am one of those people that is always, always trying to do more, be more, improve improve improve. Which is good, in moderation. I have a hard time accepting that I can only handle a few things a day. And your cleaning example is perfect — I should stay home today and clean my house from the company I had this weekend, but I feel guilty because that means skipping spin. But if my house is not clean, I get anxious which will feed into a bunch of stuff: o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 05:16 PM
38

Oooh I love this take! I haven’t really thought about how the pushing of self-care onto women is related to pushing the responsibility of dealing with the fallout of men’s inadequate abilities to function healthily in society. That’s absolutely fascinating thought. Consumerist, rose-gold and wellness-centered self-care as a roundabout, extremely subtle way to victim blame. Why are we the only ones who are being told by society to work through trauma, meditate, eat clean…whatever. That will give …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 05:12 PM
17

I love this question! And it’s something I wrestle with myself — I don’t have ADHD but I do struggle with C-PTSD and sometimes I have to reward myself to do…anything. What works for me was a combination approach. First, I did some reflection and found that experiences are what bring me lasting joy and feels like a “reward” to me. I wonder if it would be helpful for you to look into what makes you feel rewarded? Also, I don’t think it makes sense to rule out purchases just unilaterally. But I won…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 05:04 PM
118

Men absolutely do not need sex to feel emotional intimacy. He has male friendships, right? Those “Saturday’s are for the boys!!!” types? Highly doubt he and his buddies are all banging each other if they’re actually straight. It’s a lie, a manipulation designed to get sex with minimal investment. Also what woman on earth has had free reign to feel all their feelings without backlash? Shit, my garden variety assertiveness gets me called “abrasive” at work by the old-school dinosaurs and has gone …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 01:47 PM
65

Oh man, I had this happen once (when I was on OLD the opener I most frequently got was “hey” or the slightly less annoying “hey how are you” lol). I mentioned it on this sub a long time ago, but I didn’t realize it was negging at the time, because it seemed so weird and silly. He opened with: “Hey loser” And so I, thinking oh he’s an ironic silly one ok I’ll match your energy, respond: “sup train wreck” and he…just…got so upset? Like, sorry bro idk what to tell you? Unmatched and blocked promptl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 11:13 AM
72

Yikes. What were these ladies thinking? Sperm donors aren’t that pricey. I hope they get to keep their baby, but wow. Hope they don’t pass on poor decision making skills to their kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 06:33 PM
11

Thank you very much! Time will tell if he maintains how he is, of course, and I am always fully prepared to walk away if the relationship no longer benefits me. Also, I appreciate you asking — it was a good reminder to not let how wonderful he is make me blind to the fact that vetting still matters, perhaps even more so since he seems THAT amazing lol ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 06:30 PM
19

Ahhh yeah, that rule. Where I live has very depressed wages so finding someone who earns comparably to me or more would be egregiously difficult, and I love where I live. So, my financial rule is more about a potential partner having a career, having skills, and actively seeking to build on both, which he does. But to answer your question, he absolutely does! :) I recently relocated to be closer to my job while planning my sister’s bridal shower and bachelorette. He came through by arranging mov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 06:21 PM
8

Well, if we were to marry, I’d likely always be the breadwinner AND the primary caretaker of any children (I love kiddos and have been wanting to be a mother since I was a nanny — I know that’s weird). So it’d be silly of me not to try to do what I can do protect myself as I’d be contributing more to the marriage in terms of dollars, producing literal humans from my literal body, and while I’ve vetted him to know he’ll help more than 50/50 when needed, I may have to do that, too. People change, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 06:04 PM
118

I have a very middling relationship with “pre-nup.” My NVX wanted one. He was a welder making 50k a year, with a savings account of like 20k (big deal when you’re 24) and I was a freshly graduated college student who put myself through school and was the first one to even go in my family. So while I had a good 50k job as well (also a big deal at age 21 when your parents never made more than 20-30k each and spent a good chunk of your life homeless), I had no real savings yet. When he brought up a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 11:44 AM
55

Yuuuuuuuup. I’m 28 now and the pickings of my male peers are already slimming down in my area. Meanwhile I got mistaken for 21 today by a woman coworker, because I take care of myself religiously as my own way to “level up” :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 11:18 PM
16

My boyfriend is four years older than I am (28/32). Im abstaining from the poll as our relationship has just been nine months. My parents are four years apart so I didn’t think anything of it. But in general I vet friend groups heavily as every single man I’ve met with “a small circle” ends up LV, regardless of age gap. My worries were assuaged when I got to know his inner social circle — married men he’s grown up with and known since kindergarten, including his best friend whose children are hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:12 PM
4

Hi OP so I totally fell for this in my pre-FDS life! I wanted so badly to be the cool girl so I didn’t say anything. What woke me up was him slipping up and referring to her as his gf after previously feeding me some bulllllshittttttt about not believing in labels. For some reason that was what it took. But therapy has been helpful at getting me to prioritize my actual feelings about situations over what libfem-weaponized-by-patriarchy tells me I should feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 08:57 PM
1

My sisters and I do! We occasionally all go away together for girls weekends, or as they are all in my bubble, we’ll meet up at each other’s places when travel isn’t feasible. But a co-ed sleepover? I mean, my boyfriend and I stay at each other’s places on certain weekends. But I’ve never heard of a man and a woman having a platonic sleepover. There’s no such thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 08:50 PM
80

Hahahaha I mean even if we were what does that have to do with the content of the sub? Even Big Mama from Walmart is allowed to have standards! It doesn’t matter what anyone looks like! But that’s their mentality: only their idea of hot women are allowed to want (and receive) basic human decency, let alone effort and love. Less attractive women should be grateful some NVM wants to abuse them. ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 04:30 PM
83

My ex-husband has been offering to buy more nudes off of me. Half-tempted to send the screenshots to his new little gal pal he’s “so in love with.” Also yes after I got the receipts I blocked him 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 12:20 AM
4

Slightly OT but I wrote a short story about this — women deciding to become their own villages and raise children without involving men, except to periodically harvest sperm from the corral of men strapped to porn VR machines 😂 Obviously it’s satirical utopia 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 07:57 PM
55

“You both should ogle unsuspecting women together. That way, he’ll know you’re super cool and will totally not fantasize about her the next time he’s deathgripping his peen.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 07:40 PM
2

Oh god, this sucks. Is it always the case? My current partner, who until this post I thought was very HV, has a smaller than average peen. I don’t care, he’s very good at what he does and has always made sure I’m satisfied before I even touch his dick. Also, he doesn’t really talk about it out of nowhere. Once, a month or two after we had become “official” and I had decided to have sex with him, he brought up that he wished his peen was bigger. I told him I felt the same way about my breasts — h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 07:14 PM
17

There’s a lot of muck to wade through for sure but I managed to find one who, thus far, is a HVM — I was 27, he was 30 at the time. We’re now approaching a year together and he’s very gently bringing up the ideas of marriage and a home and children to me, asking what I think about parenting philosophies, learning how I like to keep my home and DOING IT, etc. And he asks these things while still taking me out on very nice dates. Obviously the vetting never stops but it also isn’t hopeless. I also…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 06:41 PM
8

As a 5’8” lady I tend to prefer 6’2” and up men but those men really only want the extra petite ladies — so I tend to date men I basically am eye level with which, while it doesn’t bother me, doesn’t do anything for me either. The short guys I’ve decided to take chances on inevitably make fun of my relative height, so I always swipe left if they say they’re my height (you have to subtract 3 inches from what they say, I’ve found).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 06:18 PM
46

Even in my worst pickme stage this wouldn’t have flown. I’m so sad and angry at what society is doing to women, trying to convince us that this is acceptable and that in some ways we deserve it. “This is what I get” I’m horrified that men like this exist. Why do they hate us so much?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 05:59 PM
68

I had sushi — yellowtail and tuna as my supermarket is kind of lame heh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 05:44 PM
73

That’s true, but in the US most of us refer to it as horse dewormer because that’s where the conspiracy theorists are telling their followers to get the ivermectin from: from Tractor Supply and the like. Human medicine isn’t to be trusted anymore unless their demagogues say so
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 05:43 PM
95

It may be callous but I’m sort of viewing it as the gene pool chlorinating itself with these dewormer loons. Survival of the smartest at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 05:41 PM
14

I’m so ashamed to admit the proposal I accepted in my pre-FDS days. I was 21, a senior in undergrad. I was contemplating the next move to make when I graduated. My bf wanted me to move in with him. I said no not without a ring. We got into a huuuuuuuge fight after that — him telling me I’m pressuring him, that he just wants to try it out to make sure we’re a good fit, that he can’t believe I’m willing to throw away THREE YEARS because he wasn’t ready. And I started out being firm — remembering m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 05:21 PM
22

Every day, my plan to use a sperm bank when I turn 30-35 to have a child on my own sounds safer and safer. I was just doing it to not put pressure on myself about finding an HVM but now I have safety reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:27 PM
7

Ugh this is BEAUTIFUL I thought I wasn’t an emerald cut girl but holy smokes! You are goals, checking out the financial diet when I get home from work 📝 Also, maybe I can borrow this idea for my own 30th coming up in a couple years? 😇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 12:27 PM
14

Oh unconditional love exists! It’s just women offering it to men who weren’t sold the same idea for the most part and so they won’t, or can’t, reciprocate. Better to get a companion animal and/or a best friend if you’re straight and shower them and yourself with that love until you don’t have any left for scrotes who can’t love. They, and you, will return that love tenfold. The fantasy of “happily ever after” with a Prince Charming is just that — a fantasy sold to us to give and give in the hope…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 02:32 PM
35

Yes sameeee, popping popcorn when I get home tonight
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 07:32 PM
27

You know, I never would have considered that before FDS, before my abusive marriage. Call me naive, but there was a time in my life where it never would have occurred to me that he hurt me deliberately. I’ve never even thought about trying to hurt someone that way. Even now, it just goes against my values and morals. But I realize now not everyone is like me, and in fact, there are men out there who see my genuine love for people and life as an opportunity to prey on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:21 AM
107

Ugh this reminds me of the brunch I begged my Nex to take me on to celebrate the huge promotion I got. It was the first nice spring day of 2019, and my first day off in WEEKS. I was 25 and kicking ASS professionally in a male dominated industry. I decided to go fresh faced, hair natural in waves with a little braid pinned to the side of my head to keep my bangs off my forehead. I thought I looked really cute and casual. I had been working on my skin and hair and tbh I was TIRED and just wanted t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:13 PM
63

When I turned 27 this past summer, and some scrote joked that I was getting dangerously close to “the wall,” I was hurt. I found myself googling fillers and “preventive Botox.” And while doing so, I remembered a couple friends of mine growing up who were taken too soon, they never got to be high school graduates, college students, homeowners, artists, and so on. They were eternally 17 in everyone’s memories. And I stopped googling. Growing older is a privilege that so few who are born get. I wan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:03 PM
40

I’m gonna have to respectfully disagree here. I’ll acknowledge my bias as a lifelong dog owner, “dog mom” or what have you, but I would challenge the idea that dog owner = red flag. And I would counter it with animal abuser = red flag. I could get into my own anecdotes about the male cat lovers I’ve dated who scoffed at my dog ownership, saying dismissive things about how I’m somehow less sophisticated because I “rely on their unconditional love for companionship??” Like, no, I choose dogs over …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 01:11 PM
11

Yeah, I think that ended up being the thing for him. He got so upset about me having a male friend despite him being a confessed swinger (pre-FDS!), that I broke it off due to the sheer...scrotacity. Saying he wants to marry me but also don’t you dare tell anyone we’re dating like...the fuck? I do have him to thank for me finding FDS tho
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:09 PM
122

Ugh, I got this from a 30 year old grown ass man in my pre-FDS life. He told me that he didn’t want to label things until he was “ready to propose” because he “is too old for that childish bf/gf thing.” So, I said, okay, then I’m going to keep going on dates with other men as well since no label means single. He got so upset but also made sure to clarify that we were “just talking” (Weird, didn’t know “just talking” included being in my bed...every damn weekend and talking about what he’d name o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:40 PM
63

“Nobody will want you after 30” lmao what a cope! Maybe not you, scrote, with your receding hairline, beer belly of a much older man, dry skin, teeth that haven’t been brushed in...who knows how long, no interests beyond what’s on a screen, and a personality to match the stank breath. All these doofuses have is projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 03:37 PM
46

Yeah, it’s hogwash designed to keep us settling for men who don’t even like us before we’ve even hit our peaks. Any woman worth her salt in the “corporate world” knows how to manage her fertility if that is something that is a priority for her. But to answer your question, every woman I’ve ever known killing it in the career game at my company, who wishes to be a mother, has done it, or has already frozen some eggs. It’s a non-issue. The media is selling us a lie that we have to settle for whate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:46 PM
3

Ugh, you’re exactly right. Why do men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 01:46 PM
25

You’re right! It’s another bit of unlearning for me, thank you for the reminder & different perspective 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:48 PM
40

This disgusts me, as a white woman with a huge (100 pounds, just about my height on his hind legs) male English Lab. I got him because I love labs, I love dogs, I am newly single and liked the idea of a large dog as a safeguard and my boy is every bit my BABY. To think...that is what some men see when they see me and my dog out and about...disgusts me to my core.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:28 PM
27

Ugh a tall, strong man with a short, well-groomed beard a la Jack Ryan makes this lady WEAK. Would be verrrryyy difficult to maintain FDS composure, especially if he has a good personality. Luckily, (not at all actually), “luckily” they are few and far between in my area. All the men around me seem to be 5’8”-5’9” and scrawny or with beer guts and ball caps hiding their thinning hair. I stayed in my situationship at all because he was, comparatively, the hottest man I’d ever known.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:56 PM
42

Ngl I would possibly prefer my partner not living with me if we were both, say, retired empty nesters. But this? Someone tell me it’s not real? This is, like, a caricature of a LVM...right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:38 AM
47

Say it with me ladies: STAY AWAY FROM POLY/ENM MEN. I say that from personal experience. Every “poly” man I ever interacted with really just wanted to sleep with whomever, whenever. Many actually don’t give a shit about “their women” having another sexual relationship, but that’s only because they’re absorbed with trying to get laid themselves. However, as soon as there is a whiff of emotional connection with another man, it’s game over and suddenly they don’t like this game as much anymore. As …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:21 AM
50

It’s like my puppy — a toy could be all but invisible to him, neglected and in a corner, but when I go to pick it up and put it back in his toy box, suddenly it’s the most interesting toy he’s ever owned and he HAS TO HAVE IT. Men like this are as emotionally mature as puppies — they only give a shit when access is threatened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:02 AM
4

That’s true about male coworkers. It’s important to keep in mind that I am in management of manufacturing and an element of being an effective leader (in my personal philosophy) is the idea that you care personally about your people — regardless of gender. So I afford my direct reports (all of whom happen to be male currently) more of a sympathetic ear than I ever would a male (or female!) peer or superior. And the reason I make that boundary for peers/higher ups is exactly what you cited — ends…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:00 PM
9

I listen, actively, because they clearly feel comfortable enough with me to share that, and that means a lot to me personally. Depending on our closeness, and what they ask for, it’s just that — listening. If they ask for advice, I offer the very best that I can. But then again, I’ve recently embraced my extroversion and I genuinely enjoy trying to help people. If it was out of nowhere or I felt out of my depth or if I’m just having a low bandwidth day, I look for the nearest natural conversatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 06:41 PM
17

Man the way my HVM mentor, and his HV wife who is now one of my close friends, told me this, so matter-of-factly, got me thinking about my NVM ex in a different light.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 06:29 PM
19

I absolutely value my work female friendships and will get drinks/dinner/hike or whatever but I will not gossip. If I hear it, I gently steer the subject away. If the gossiper presses me to join, I usually say something like “Oh, well, I don’t know them well enough to say but I’ve always had pleasant interactions with them,” or something similar that gets my point across — I don’t engage in it and I won’t. If it’s really bad, like once I overheard someone spreading something both baseless and cr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 05:51 PM
8

...is liking beer and video games inherently LV? They said it’s more like, local brew and animal crossing, like, ONCE A MONTH for me...PS bud light is trash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 03:36 PM
17

Those mentors are worth their weight in gold!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 01:03 PM
65

As a young woman in one of the most macho industries we have left — defense manufacturing — I’ve found incredible success given my age and the fact that I unflinchingly present very femininely. Like u/cosmicabstract, I don’t “lean in” to the boys club. I spend time understanding the technical aspects and I interact with my peers, superiors, and direct reports in a very intentional way — friendly but not fratty, assertive as fuck, and I learned to do this thing where I’ll say something scathing b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 12:47 PM
24

Thank you for opening my eyes to this. I legit didn’t realize until I read your comment how desensitized I’ve become to violence, very real violence against my fellow human, fellow woman, being treated so flippantly. And now, mixed with the sadness, is an anger that I even had to develop this desensitization to cope with the feelings of fear I used to feel when confronted with internet strangers joking about killing those who look just like me...me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:39 PM
43

If it helps, if we’re talking about sex in a vacuum, in my pre-FDS days, I almost always* had very good sex, even with men who turned out to be L/NV, which actually made adopting FDS more difficult if I’m being honest, because I like PIV sex a lot. I was used to consistently good PIV, even with my situationship. So it’s not all garbage. But sadly a lot of women do wade through so much trash, and I don’t want to invalidate those experiences. I just wanted to offer an anecdote that it’s not always…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:21 PM
21

“you’re the kindest, sweetest, warmest, most caring woman I’ve ever met. I’m so lucky to have you.” “I see how much you love your dog, how well you care for him, and I know our kids will be the luckiest.” “I care about you so much, but I’m so scared I’m going to fuck this up.” “You’re so beautiful, inside and out. I don’t know what I did to have someone like you come into my life. I feel like I don’t deserve this.” “I think I’m falling for you, I want you to be my wife.” “I can’t wait to make ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:36 PM
17

I’m in management, and I haven’t noticed an appreciable difference since I was an individual contributor working at a drafting table. But that’s because my employer carries a fuck ton of name recognition, we’re a niche in the area, and along with that name recognition comes with a general idea of the pay (which is extremely good for the area) because we employ over 8,000 people. So I’m kind of screwed and have to vet insanely hard financially. I’m thisclose to entertaining the idea of dating a c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:25 AM
23

We went over this to an extent in my marketing classes in undergrad. The first one isn’t a “real” problem, so you have to kind of invent it to make the consumer think they have an issue that your product can solve. The second one is an actual medical issue, so no need to invent, but definitely need to cater to a mans ego (they don’t buy as much if they don’t feel ~manly~, even for pharmaceuticals) But I think it would be a super cool dialogue to get into about why products aimed at women/femme c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:17 AM
8

That last one is terrifying. Please tell me you reported them OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 11:14 AM
35

SONSBAND !!!! 💀 💀 💀 I am cackling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 07:40 PM
12

Ugh my have-sex-with-other-men-fetish-situationship ex did the same thing. Just told him some dirty story starring an ex of mine and he got so upset about the idea a man having had feelings for me, I dumped him. This was after he was crazy into a dirty story I told him about someday fucking his (honestly kind of a silver fox) dad. (I know, I know, wtf was wrong with me) (ETA: fixed wording)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:36 PM
61

I do too! LVM/NVM, I’m convinced, must make up 80% of the male population globally, haha. They’ll say and do anything to get into our pants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:25 PM
259

What a piece of shit scrote. Is it bad that a backwards cap is nearly a DB for me? Also why I don’t trust a damn word they say, and why we FDSers don’t have sex without commitment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:14 PM
3

Yes, they do. At least in my experience, thinking back to my pickme days. I was raised in a fundie lite religion that, essentially, says that my only value as a woman is as a “helpmeet” to a man. There are plenty of girls being raised, not even with a religious bent, to believe that their whole existence is to enhance a man’s. Can you imagine, being man-less with the belief that your life is pointless, worthless, without one? That’ll make you say and do some pretty whackadoodle crap to get a man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 03:07 PM
3

OP your ring is beautiful!!! Congrats on the self love, nobody can make us happier than we can! I also got myself diamond earrings for Christmas this year, because they were pretty and they’d look even better on me! ❤️ cheers 🥂 to loving ourselves thoroughly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:34 PM
25

Once I took the pressure off myself to “find a man” to have kids with (as I am a high earner with arguably amazing career prospects, thus most men who come to my life are there for the $$$), I felt so much better. I mean, I never saw myself raising kids on my own and having dalliances when I felt so inclined, but that vision seems so much better than the more likely scenario of ending up a “baby mama” with a dead beat, or married to a serial cheater who doesn’t even like me anyway, like two of m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 02:29 PM
13

YES! Like, oh you’re going to live your life deliberately?! And you’ve done some stuff to prove that those goals aren’t just things you’re saying to get in my pants?! Somehow that’s hotter than the best haircut and clothing in my mind. Even better if those goals are related to self improvement, and some have already been achieved, like, that’s husband material right there. 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:48 PM
129

27 for reference. I love this question! My therapist asked me once, months ago, and I remember replying a very timid “...doesn’t hit me? Call me names?” And she looked...pretty sad...for the first time in our relationship. “No, that’s not a dealbreaker, that’s abuse. That’s not even bare minimum. You deserve so much more than just ‘not being hit.’” So I tried again and came up with: dirty bathroom/sheets/home lives with ex “dead end” job bad hygiene no goals no friends no hobbies outside “gaming…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:36 PM
28

Seriously, what are these women thinking?! I won’t stop BC unless the man is my HUSBAND. Not fiancé. Not boyfriend. Not “exclusive dating partner.” HUSBAND. I’d love to hear the logic of the people consenting to getting pregnant with a boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:20 PM
42

I don’t know if I’m considered “plus sized” as I wear straight sizes, but I’m absolutely called thick. “dummy thicc” I think is the little fetish box I get tucked into. Anyway. I’ve definitely experienced this — plenty of sexual attention from all levels of men, even the classically good looking ones. What I’ve experienced is that they all want to fuck me, but the stereotypically “hot” ones don’t want to be seen in public with me. The average to slightly above average guys treat me the best, as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:09 PM
19

I’ve only ever dated one guy during the holidays as an adult with disposable income, my NVM ex-husband and our gift giving abilities were actually pretty solid. I still wear the pretty diamond earrings he gave me our first married Christmas, but I’m definitely upgrading them for myself this year 😇 This is my first “single Christmas” since...2007? When I was 14? I’ve never been in a position where I could spoil myself, I’m excited! This year it’s diamond earrings and money stashed away for a trip…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 04:04 PM
189

The daughter comment is weird as hell and should be a giant wacky waving inflatable red flag for this girl, even at her young age. She needs to RUN and tell an “adult-ier adult.” There’s no way you can have a real relationship with someone who groomed you, with that much life experience over you!!!, NOT TO MENTION WORKPLACE AUTHORITY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:48 PM
71

Oooof, been there. Not the slip incident, but definitely slept with a guy early on in my pre-FDS days and thought just because he didn’t literally pump and dump that he was “genuine.” Nope! Faked an entire budding relationship complete with pet names, regular dates, meeting his friends, talking about our future and how he knew things with me were “different this time.” When I wanted to know “is this going anywhere” THREE MONTHS IN, AFTER TELLING ME HE WAS “FALLING” FOR ME, he told me he wanted t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 10:40 PM
46

Nothing else to live for? There’s that male logic and measured reaction to situations that makes them so suited for leadership 🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:47 PM
69

I used to joke about using a sperm bank if I haven’t found anyone I think suitable by the age of 35... I’m not sure how much of that is still a joke, this is some decent vetting basically done for me 😇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:33 PM
22

I’ve found that genres of music don’t tend to indicate flags of any kind. My abusive ex loved classic rock. The best date I went on before my hiatus was planned by a man who similarly loves classic rock. My HVM work mentor loves rap, particularly more underground/classic/indie (do they call it indie?) stuff. My situationship loved indie/funk. My sister’s HV fiancé appreciates indie. The only music indicator I’ve noticed is of a man has the belief that what they like is superior to other people a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 10:11 AM
6

My NVM ex, one of his catchphrases was that it didn’t matter if I left him, I’d soon see that I was the reason I was unhappy and unless I made some major changes inside, I’d always be unhappy — no matter who I was with. And tbh he had a point. I struggled. I went to therapy, diagnosed with CPTSD. Healed, saw the abuse for what it was, kicked him out 2020, and I’m so much happier alone. I did have to make some major changes inside. Broken clock blah blah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:42 PM
10

Yup! I’m “tallish” for a woman in my area at 5’8”. Most men are my height or an inch or two taller, most other women are at least 4 inches shorter. I feel like an Amazon. I don’t know if it’s harder, I have to reject left and right still, but I prefer a man to be taller than me as the shorter ones seem to neg my height and/or get weirdly pissy if I wear heels. I dress and act in ways that are stereotypically feminine, that said. Sundresses when it’s warm, cute leggings and booties when it’s not,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:24 PM
77

This just makes me sigh. Like, not even angry or sad just...unsurprised. Of course a LVM/NVM did this. I’m white so I definitely can’t comment on the racial implications but Jesus. Reducing women to “exhibits.” Trying to pit them against each other. As if either one wants his raggedy ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:51 PM
23

You’re doing an excellent job raising a HV human, keep up the great work 💕✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:24 PM
2

Thank you so much for saying that, I’ve wanted to believe it but my nvm ex told me the first time I tried to leave that no man who wants a family wants some “used up late-20s c-word” and it’s been hard to brush it off but hearing that helps 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:30 PM
18

So, native northeast American English speaker here — I don’t run in circles that use “female” disparagingly like online, though I had college classmates who did. I thought we all “grew out” of it. It’s not acceptable in my social circles, though I do get called girl more than woman. I work for a defense contractor building ships and some of the things we build are male/female specific (bunks, bathrooms). But that’s the thing, it’s not men and females, it’s males and females, as a clinical/techni…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:21 AM
13

Thank you so much 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 11:53 PM
36

I got sick when we were engaged and I was visiting him for a weekend. Like, high fever, chills, the works. Not only did he not pay attention to me, he came into the room I was trying to sleep in and begged me to blow him. I resisted but he guilted next by saying we only get to see each other every other weekend and he didn’t know if he could go that long without some form of sex. I remember crying with him in my mouth because I was sick and felt used but my tears just turned him on more. The sex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:40 PM
2

It’s so weird they do that! Like...I know it’s kind of frowned upon here as a “hobby,” but I do play video games in my spare time, sometimes. Maybe an hour a week, but sometimes I go months without touching a controller. I digress. My point is, I have this hobby too and I’ve never once ever had an issue getting a console because, get this, I don’t care about being first. I have so much more going on in my life that I honestly haven’t even considered purchasing a next-gen console, much less throw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:39 PM
3

Correct! Even at my most pickme, I would have LAUGHED at these clowns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 05:41 PM
5

I’m 27 (FAST approaching the wall according to these lumps) and wouldn’t dream of someone 37...let alone 40 😬🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 05:20 PM
28

Projection :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:45 PM
17

Yes! I have a work friend who complains to just about anybody about her pretty LV partner. Like complains a lot. About some pretty substantial stuff. But on IG, they’re so in love and he ✨proposed✨ and aren’t things just dandy? Behind the scenes...she planned that proposal. She picked out the ring. She picked it up from the jeweler. She arranged the photographer. Absolutely none of it involved him, except he had to show up. And that isn’t the only couple I know like that. Nope. Can’t relate. I’d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:00 PM
2

Do you think a HVM ever uses the term “gold digger?” I don’t mean that in a snarky way, I’m genuinely curious if using the term could be considered a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:47 PM
1

💖💖💖 wait really, wanna be besties?!?! I’ve never known any other people with the same experiences haha Cannot recommend swiping like a model enough, the quality of my dates improved dramatically once I pretended to be way more confident. To the point where I’m not pretending anymore :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 01:34 PM
13

You can’t win with them so you’re better off doing what makes you happy, whatever that looks like!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 04:19 AM
11

virtual hug! I spent the first nine years of my adult life (18-27) with an abusive NVM. I was married to him. I’m so lucky we didn’t have children. I finally left him early this year after he forced himself into a room I had locked to get away from him during a particularly brutal argument. Our divorce just finalized recently. There are good days and bad days. The good days, I see my future for what it is — bright and open and full of potential — and on bad days, I get stuck in the mud of thinki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 11:35 AM
20

What’s even funnier is how, if we’re gonna be “shallow” and focus on looks, at least in my part of the world, the average woman is wayyyyyyyyyy more good looking than the average man. And there are way more good looking women than there are men Seriously, go take a look sometime while you’re out and about running errands (maybe more difficult with masks?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 11:23 AM
6

🥺💖 thank you so much for your kind words!! That means so much. I’ve always wanted to make a living from my storytelling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 10:51 PM
8

Ooh yeah this was an absolute one and done deal. I have wayyyyy too much to do, no time to entertain any more weirdos haha 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 10:50 PM
11

Ahhhh thank you sis!! 🥰 Definitely going to keep writing, I forgot how happy it makes me 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 06:31 PM
9

Thank you so much sis 🥺💕 Glad you enjoyed it! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 06:29 PM
41

Thank you! 💖 One of the perks of focusing on myself is doing what I love and one of those loves is writing 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:39 PM
28

Oh, thank you!!!! I am very much done with anyone not HV. In fact, I’ve decided to go on a dating hiatus until at the earliest spring, and even then I may extend it. I never knew being single could be this wonderful. I want to focus on me and be selfish for a while. My abusive relationship lasted from 18-27, so I didn’t really know what it was like to be a single adult until this year! 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:26 PM
24

Definitely! Thank you for your thoughts. The block button has become my best friend as of late.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:15 PM
9

I realized here that I have been confusing “basic regard” with “love” for so long. Reading your list overwhelmed me because I’ve never thought I’d ever be part of those moments. That they weren’t real. That it was the stuff of movies and books and therefore I shouldn’t dream of it, much less expect to receive it. I need some time I suppose to sit with that and internalize that I’m worth this kind of love, and that it is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:41 PM
74

oh man hope she’s glad she got picked 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 06:23 PM
17

So close to downloading tiktok for these messages holyyyyy 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:21 PM
50

My work mentor is very much an HVM. I’ve learned this through being his mentee and from conversations with his HVW wife. Honestly they’re relationship goals but I digress. He is a supervisor at my work place, and is a Chief in the Navy Reserves. (I know the sub typically has a negative outlook on military personnel, and I understand it’s for a reason, but this person is the lone exception to the rule I know of). His wife is a SAHM, and he’s supported her journey through nursing school, financial…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:50 AM
8

My only regret is not taking a screenshot before the ol’ block-n-delete
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 08:29 PM
8

Exactly, people tell on themselves so fast when you mirror them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:51 PM
7

Ugh did we date the same dude? He was all like “I wanna be FRIENDS first” and I was like “wait I don’t have sex with my friends?” and his response was to inform me that he slept with all of his female friends but “he wanted something romantic with me too (but no label)” ...dude gave me BV (or rather, one of his pickme harem, gross!) and smoked all of my weed (I no longer partake). LESSON LEARNED
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:41 PM
23

Like this was back before I really was paying attention to red flags, so I thought he was kidding and I was “yes and-ing” him, playing along. Then I realized he was clumsily trying to neg or something equally dumb, couldn’t take what he was attempting to dish, and I was like lol no thanks bye
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 07:25 PM
118

Haha once upon a time a guy I matched with sent “hey loser” So I responded “sup train wreck” And he got all butthurt, saying I didn’t need to be so mean! My favorite block and delete of my OLD misadventures:)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:53 PM
49

Hahaha and she’s the unpleasant one?! Honestly I admire her restraint to just being sassy. I’d have tossed him the moment he whined about not getting a gold star for nutting. Poor kid. Poor woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:52 PM
26

Entitled? I mean yeah I’m definitely feeling entitled now that I’ve found FDS. Entitled to being valued for who I am, not for my body parts, not for my ability to cook and clean and perform sexual acts. BUT FOR ME, THE PERSON. Entitled to being loved by my partner. Entitled to them making an effort to show me, as much as I show them. Entitled to being heard, to being understood. And anyone with a single brain cell knows that I don’t mean being agreed with all the time by that. Entitled to feel m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:39 PM
38

This is the exact thought process that got me out of my abusive marriage. I suddenly thought to myself, “what if he treats our babies like this?” And I was filled with immediate rage at the idea of allowing my non-existent children to be in the line of fire. And that’s when it dawned on me, why am I protective over imaginary people more than my own SELF?! and I got the hell out. I’m in therapy trying to put the pieces back together and have started feeling that sense of protection for myself, fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 06:32 PM
23

Suchhhh truth. Totally know it could be just for show which is why I told him I’m gonna keep accepting dates until he asks me to be his girlfriend. And we’re coming up on dates six and seven so if he’s still “unsure”...lol bye 👋 Thank you for the reminder sis 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:37 PM
37

“I want to be...x, y, z for you.” Translation: I recognize you deserve x, y, z but I don’t want to expend any effort on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:17 PM
77

Exactly. You’re not asking for too much, you’re just asking the wrong person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:19 PM
64

Exactly! I just had a fifth date with a potential HVM (still vetting obvi but so far so good), and during the date he told me he was deleting his dating apps because he wants to focus on me and “where we’re going.” I told him that while I also want to see where we go, I don’t think I’m going to stop accepting dates until we actually define “where we’re going.” He said that while he would prefer me to only date him, he understood where I was coming from. He’s asked me on two dates since this conv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:16 PM
14

This. This right here is what woke me up. I just blocked-and-deleted the guy I was in a 3 month situationship with on Monday, after he went two weeks no contact and after canceling on me AN HOUR before he was supposed to see me, with no offer to reschedule. But I’ve been having my doubts about whether I acted too hastily and if I’ll regret dumping him. His refrain throughout these months was, “I want to be enough for you.” Or “I want to be the best partner possible.” I, vulnerable from my relati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 06:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter