I like literally all of you have been the target of consumer culture’s commodification of the concept of self-care: bubble baths, face masks, new yoga mats, mani-pedi, ridiculously overpriced salads, I could honestly go on all day.

Now, this isn’t to wholly disparage the above: I love a bath bomb and an “artisanal salad” as much as the next woman.

But I did want to discuss how we FDSers choose to interact with this concept, it’s commodification, and how we approach decoupling it, and how all of this works within an FDS-centered-day to day-framework (I guess I could just say lifestyle here, but I feel like that’s not exact enough?)

I personally view self-care as my primary interest, selfish it may be. But I also view self care as more than a bubble bath — I view it as scheduling and going to medical appointments, going to the gym regularly, prioritizing my career, developing and pursuing hobbies that make me happy, prioritizing developing relationships with other positive women, my family, and my friends over men. I also, as a partnered woman, consider self-care to be continuous vetting, and putting in the effort my carefully selected partner deserves.

In this sense, self care can be a highly valuable strategy, even. Putting yourself first makes you a more interesting woman, less seeking of approval from men whose opinions are meaningless, and reminds you that you don’t need to spend money on a 14k gold eye patch set to be your amazing, worthwhile self.

But the world knows this, the patriarchy knows this — hence the commodification. Encouraging a superficial relationship with caring for the self is a means to keep women seeking approval, keep spending money on things that are better spent on investing in oneself: physically, emotionally, spiritually.

What do you all think? I realize my thoughts aren’t totally mature, but I’m hoping a discussion with you all will help further not just my understanding, but our collective thoughts and understanding, as well.