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ferociouslycurious Archive

View 0 posts and 715 comments by ferociouslycurious on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
111

One of the last things before my ex left was a coffee table. I hate coffee tables in my space. I don’t spend enough time sitting in the living room and the dogs need room to play. He started working on a live edge coffee table. I was thinking to myself how I was going to manage to live with it or talk him out of it. When he left, I felt relief that the coffee table would be gone. Yeah, his value was lower than the stress of living with a coffee table.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 12:29 AM
5

People disagreeing with you is not bullying. “Most people meet their long term partners at work” is not a true statement. Men don’t need any special indicators to consider asking you out. Basic politeness suffices. Going further than this in trying to get him to ask you out does make you a pickme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 03:08 PM
47

For me it seems to have the opposite effect. People think I have a superiority complex and am holier-than-thou. With men this serves me well, however.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 11:02 PM
7

With attorney advice it can sometimes be done however. I agree an attorney needs to be consulted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 12:37 AM
267

That poor woman should report her neighbor to the bar association. I totally agree you should never take nudes. Ever. Ever. Ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 11:15 PM
17

You have to separate his life from yours. This may take a lot of therapy and a lot of outside focuses to help keep you from dwelling on it. I highly recommend befriending her if she ever moves here. Hopefully for her sake she doesn’t get stuck with him. The other woman can be an ally with your child in many cases. Sometimes they’re not. Occasionally they’re even dangerous esp under the manipulation of the ex. But at least half the time they can be part of your “village” and being on good terms w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 02:01 AM
49

I completely agree. There are no consistent tells. The energy description doesn’t actually relate to their penis size at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 12:55 PM
22

I have always intimidated people by simply existing and I don’t know why. Maybe being quiet and academically confident. When I was in high school someone who was appointed to head of a major federal commission by the former president had a crush on me but was too afraid to talk to me, as an example. Definitely dodged a bullet there. I am on the opposite end of the political spectrum now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 05:22 PM
9

Hell he isn’t even listening to the people he can to for advice. He’s arguing with all of them. Doesn’t take much intelligence to figure out what’s going on here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 03:17 PM
21

So outside of California the gas pumps are often grody and have gas residue on the pump handles. You can get pretty gross pumping gas sometimes. So it really depends upon the individual situation because when I was young my dad always pumped for my mom so she could stay clean. It was not even slightly controlling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:45 PM
28

The lower brain (penis) is the only one he uses and it can’t process information. The upper brain he never uses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 03:59 PM
32

He’s an emotional moron. No one can teach him anything. Codependency my a$$ n
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 11:54 PM
2

Chasing unnatural beauty standards is detrimental to mental health, yes. I firmly believe anyone who says they haven’t experienced, at a minimum, unnecessary stress, is lying - quite possibly to themselves. It’s not “working out” that makes you “psycho” though, it’s the unnatural standards while men refuse to adhere to any standard at all. Most of the women aren’t psycho, they’re justifiably ANGRY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 02:12 PM
7

Well she’s the only one who got smart in the whole deal. Yikes. The other wives want to bury their heads and ignore the red flags everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 03:37 AM
4

I love how even the real story glosses over medical school like it’s just a hoop to jump through, implying he already knew enough 🙄. Movies always change the story. Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 03:32 AM
13

Seriously, you have to have your shit together by his age
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 01:51 AM
60

They use $ and public service to lure women in and groom them to be pickmes. It’s disgusting and IMO always has been.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 11:24 PM
29

Yeah I think stripes means that there are a few HV and they all happen to be on the left, not that the male left are predominantly or entirely HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 04:23 AM
3

I run. I’d rather die than sit and meditate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 01:22 AM
34

It’s so nice to see thoughtfulness in action ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 09:06 PM
65

Now with the explanations I totally understand what is going on here. He is lazy AF, the kitchen isn’t really clean, that is ALL he contributes, and she’s sick of being the only adult. I bet he can’t even pay bills. Both because he has no money and because he has no organization. I have friends who’ve been in her position.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 06:20 PM
85

I am not clear on what “packed bowl” even is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 04:08 PM
22

With at least some 401ks you can pick how it’s invested. I can with mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 03:13 AM
28

Women do it but a strong support system is vital. Nannies are not consistently reliable based upon the experiences of my acquaintances. Frequent illness is very common in young children and it can be devastating to employment. I personally had severe carpal tunnel late in my second pregnancy and could not sleep for more than 2 hours before I’d wake up in excruciating pain that was only relieved by standing upright with my arms straight down at my side. It was sleep deprivation torture and I actu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 02:33 AM
54

I agree with almost everything you said. I just want to mention that PPD has a range of severities and they are primarily biological in origin. Women with HVM are still quite susceptible. The difference is there is automatically one less person to help you find treatment and support your baby during your treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 02:28 AM
5

My mom and I are estranged because this is how she chose to behave when he finally left (his emotional immaturity causes him to blame everyone but himself for anything he’s unhappy with, and he’s never been willing to communicate in the relationship). She was simultaneously blaming me with two contradictory faults - I was “too picky” and “didn’t appreciate” him and shouldn’t have left (uh, I didn’t), but also I was too big a bitch to live with (“hello pot, I’m kettle”). Bruh, pick one. She was l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 12:44 PM
19

If you cannot control the storyline, don’t do it. It’s a trap. That’s exactly what you’d walk into here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 06:07 PM
13

Ignore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 06:06 PM
72

I think it’s a shining example of the emotional immaturity of even adult males. So many of them make zero attempt to mature, especially emotionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 03:15 PM
37

I know a couple where he donated a kidney to her and she is doing very well. The immune system reacts to exterior cell proteins not DNA tucked inside the nucleus (Y chromosome). They’ve been married decades and he appears quite devoted to her - even when he’s in a group of mostly men and drinking (we share a hobby with rural meetups)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 02:22 PM
10

You’d think she could just make him shower before bed. With soap for heaven’s sake. Makes me wonder if he doesn’t use any.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 03:54 AM
9

I recommend unscented Anti-Icky Poo. It’s the same idea as Nature’s Miracle but better IME. And you can tell the odor is gone because no annoying perfume.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 03:54 AM
15

Miranda Lambert makes some pretty good songs for this situation. So does Gretchen Wilson. Also Carrie Underwood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 03:42 AM
28

Wow he sucks at jokes doesn’t he. I can’t tell if he means the first part of second part of his message. Bruh, if you have to announce it’s a joke, you need to learn to read the room instead…….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 02:34 AM
13

I never thought makeup was fun. I wear eyeliner, mascara and lipstick maybe twice a year tops. And that’s IT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 07:44 PM
3

Have you been in therapy to figure out why you’ve been attracted to these toxic relationships? Sometimes “attraction” is to the toxic aspects. It’s best to know yourself before venturing out into dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 06:03 PM
11

If these men had an f*ing clue they wouldn’t be bitching on social media. The non idiots are all in relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 01:59 AM
25

She DOES know how she feels about this she just doesn’t want to face it. Extra weight does not equal agreeing to STDs. That jerk is just looking for an excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 02:16 AM
9

Simple brained. At least the L/NVM are simple brained. To be a HVM he must demonstrate a more complex brain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 12:44 AM
19

We will never have enough information to answer this question. Public persona can be dramatically different from private.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 06:18 PM
37

“So?” Or just a plain cold dirty look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 04:23 PM
43

The problem isn’t the other woman, ma’am.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 01:44 AM
43

What kind of a horrible grandmother keeps her grandchild from being fed????? That is INSANE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 09:32 PM
58

I completely agree. Marriage really is best suited for best friends rather than the common romantic ideas of love as an instant gut feeling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 05:29 PM
8

It’s possible in theory, but I have yet to see it. They can mature but resolving things like mommy/daddy issues isn’t part of that process. It’s exceptionally rare for a man to show adequate self awareness AND desire to change for long enough to actually accomplish such a change. It’s far more common for men to fake it until they feel they’ve achieved what they seek. Society actively teaches them to work for it. Society doesn’t teach real change and improvement. When they reach the finish line t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 02:51 PM
101

I wish this tactic would hurt him more than I suspect it will hurt his wife and kids. Women always suffer more than these dirtbags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 03:46 AM
53

I’ve met older Hispanic women who spoke no English (relied on kids and spouse) but never a young woman. I call complete b.s. I think he’s fantasizing a book and has no idea what to do with plot. (Edit: typo. Twice)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 03:31 AM
19

For a human baby, human milk is far superior because milk nutrition varies dramatically between species. But human milk is nowhere near appropriate nutritionally for an adult…..even past the age of 1 children require other sources of food. This situation is creepy AF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 08:28 PM
46

It would also have required mental effort to be more selective. So, so many guys hate mental effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 04:49 PM
37

I’m not saying he’s necessarily worth keeping, but cabins I’ve stayed in have been as expensive as hotels but they’ve felt more like home. Views of mountains and wildlife, privacy, (I happen to prefer hiking as an activity), closer parking, and no more work than hotel rooms I’ve stayed at (daily maid service included). Also close enough to drive for meals or eat in the main lodge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 02:12 PM
20

I was happy to read edit 2. At least she knows the truth now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 02:44 AM
23

If you’re not smart enough to know latex is a RUBBER and natural material from a tree, NOT plastic, I wouldn’t want sex with you anyway. Good thing vibrators work so well for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 09:05 PM
16

I had maybe 2 or 3 dates with a guy who was already throwing out some kind of narc or just plain crazy crap. He was so toxic so fast that even most pickme’s would run. Like he was all rapid fire convo then went no contact for a couple days (no kids, divorce was done for a while) then came back with some insane accusations and accusing me of something so ridiculous I just ignored it. He wasn’t very good at faking normal for long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 04:15 PM
499

Cleaned our house? Made us dinner? Showed interest and caring for our feelings? Stayed loyal? Worked and brought home money AND showed an interest in savings and home upkeep? OH!!! THE HORROR!!!! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 02:54 PM
44

I have always been resistant to thinking guys are hitting on me and when it’s definitely happening, and I say something, someone ALWAYS says “no he’s not” until they see it happen and then their eyes usually pop out of their heads because if I say it’s happening, it’s over the top. I was getting a weird vibe from a teacher at my son’s school that felt creepy and I didn’t realize how right I was until another mom started telling me the gossip I always miss out on. He was apparently hooking up DUR…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 01:04 AM
10

They are so effing lazy. And if you make the mistake of marrying one he will blame YOU for HIS laziness. BTDT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 04:28 AM
47

Interestingly, this is exactly what a much larger % of women face every day. A man in this situation is very rare. And we have no idea how much $ his wife makes or the house she works. Or how much he works in that time frame vs jacking off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 05:21 AM
35

I find it hard to believe he would ever pay her. The imaginary pay would be if she was dumb enough to stick around his entire life - and he’d for sure dump her for a younger model sooner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 04:24 AM
102

Exactly. No matter what her issues may or may not be, he has outed himself loud and clear as a danger. And he needs a new victim now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 04:46 AM
25

1) You can’t change them so your best tactic is to ignore the drama and take the high road 2) he needs her because he can’t parent alone because he’s lazy and incompetent 3) he is abusing her the same way he abused you, so a bit of empathy can make #1 a little easier in your brain. 4) you are better than all of this. Let your kids enjoy knowing her and let them know it’s fine with you - small everyday things like asking what you did and commenting on it being cool/fun etc, all positive stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 06:52 PM
3

She misspelled “No one here can comprehend why I’m with him”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 02:31 AM
79

Screw telling her. This dude SHOULD make his coworker tell her himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 12:16 AM
71

My ex lacked the initiative to chase anybody or anything, but I’ve wondered how attached he remained to a specific ex. For background, we never discussed his exes. But once after we were married I was watching, I think it was House Hunters, on HGTV and he came in and commented that he knew the lady currently featured. He used to DATE her. This was a slender belly dancer with really big breasts for her frame. I did a double take because she seemed out of his league. After I commented on how unnat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 05:17 PM
8

Why. Why. WHY do they think this is funny. While you’re blocking and deleting think to yourself “That would be a joke you clown.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 03:33 PM
10

I think this statement is false. You can be tricked into thinking you love yourself when really you only feel secure because you’re loved. That love leaves and you are crushed. Learning to love yourself must happen independent of external influence and that will essentially never happen when you focus on the love someone is giving you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 03:27 PM
11

A woman I know was commenting today that (he’s now her ex so in the past) V day was a day she used to dread because whatever he did meant she was going to be obligated to do whatever it was he wanted in the bedroom that night, no matter how degrading.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 03:53 AM
16

Oh, I dunno. Waltzing down that aisle and kicking him out in front of a crowd would be pretty fun. Give him a head to toe lookover and call him a clown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 01:43 AM
111

AND THE BENGALS ARE FREAKING WINNING BRUH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 02:16 AM
320

I hope his wife stays away with the kids. This guy has severe issues that could result in their death.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 02:16 AM
7

I saw this on another site and was hoping I’d see it here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 06:05 PM
60

Moron can’t even basic science. None of those things provide anything parasites would use. He would have a stronger argument if he said those body parts were parasitically attached to us 😜 I love how hard they have to work to pretend they don’t need us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 05:23 PM
39

That the girl had mommy issues was a massive red flag about her father - he ignores important aspects of his family’s mental health. And this lady just enabled it further.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:51 AM
27

I have yet to see a woman complaining that she has cats and no man. And the only ones I’ve ever see complain about a “litter” of cats is rescue/shelter/vet med ppl complaining people don’t spay and neuter. Dude needs to crack a dictionary and learn a group of cats is called a clowder. Not a litter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 06:39 PM
171

I mean, I don’t see the harm in him sticking to these rules. It means no actual human will ever have to tolerate his crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 02:57 PM
1

I couldn’t even keep following the words after “before putting women.” And “before the cater” 🙄 let alone the imaginary logic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 10:56 PM
2

There is zero reason to be polite to her as it doesn’t sound as if she understands the concept.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 10:36 PM
222

Because I have standards and I like myself too much to lower them.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 05:50 PM
48

If they really have depression sure. For a lot of men it’s just an excuse they made up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 05:48 PM
34

Why, why, WHY are the kids in after school care? He is such a lazy jerk. How stupid can a person be, really?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 03:22 PM
19

Yeah, only buy what you want for YOU. Not for how you look to others (with reasonable exceptions for employment/career…..I cannot go to work in sweats, though sometimes yoga pants look legitimately professional in my setting). I have comfortable bras I like how I look in, etc. Silk is super comfortable but screw satin. It’s not for anyone else except me. And now I’m busy debating a new gas fireplace insert…..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 01:34 AM
61

I think the mom had foul intentions and it only worked for the girlfriend because she could see through his crap really clearly. The mom probably thinks her son is too good for this woman because the sun rises and sets with him, pickme culture and all. Though if I ever tell a young woman this, it will be because I don’t want her stuck with my son who’s acting like his dad. And I will absolutely tell my son off too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 02:53 PM
2

She should give it up. I ADORE dogs and have three. I have over half a dozen cats. I have birds out the whazoo. My daughter and I have a standing “joke” jk/nk that if we’re ever kidnapped, mention of a husky will be our secret code for a cry for help. It is cruel and unreasonable for a man to dump a puppy of ANY BREED on a woman caring for his kids. Because that is what they do. Jerks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 12:54 AM
247

Never, ever, EVER choose a man over an animal. ESPECIALLY at his demand. This is my number one red flag of all the red flags. What a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:21 PM
15

What you’re describing is common in dairy herds but isn’t true for beef herds.Beef herds are mostly bred naturally by having one bull in a herd at pasture (the exception being high value purebred herds who have semen shipped in for $$$$) and the cow only stands to be bred if she’s in heat. Beef calves are almost always left with the mothers until they no longer need milk, at which point they’re moved to the “backgrounding” herd where they graze grass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 12:23 PM
38

I’ll give you a real woman challenge. Day 1: F*>€ what anyone else things. Day 2: Repeat. Case closed 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 04:11 AM
43

Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 12:39 AM
57

Predators are wicked good at hiding it in person, though. Never count on being able to tell. That is why I know so many women who were molested as kids of all ages - the men seemed so normal and safe to everyone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 12:39 AM
64

I’m so sick of victim blaming. Posting pictures of your kids isn’t the problem (though limiting what you post out of respect for their future choices is legit). Here the problem is MEN. And the method is through the mom. And then men bitch that women don’t want to date them 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 12:37 AM
45

So all of the extra women are 70+. Guarantee you those ladies don’t want him. You’ve never seen a collection of women so over men as in a nursing home. The rare men there are mostly desperate and annoying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 04:37 AM
21

Hahahahahahaha he’s so funny. Nice to know in advance that he gets butthurt just breathing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 04:34 AM
104

At least she has her mom to be remotely sensible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 07:28 PM
85

Call it off. These guys are immature, and most of them will want to date a 24 year old (or 19 year old) again once you age another 3 years. At least half of them want to control you (and their fellow 34 year olds won’t tolerate it). They’ll fake being perfect guys sometimes for over a year before the mask slips. They like to babytrap you. They’ll use the excuse that women their age are (choose one or more) jaded, set in their ways, no longer want kids, all married, etc. but it boils down to “won…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 04:55 PM
39

Exactly. Trash turns everything else to trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 10:19 PM
66

Why the f would ANYBODY think this deserved a second chance?????? I would have been horrified as a stranger observing it. What an aggressive, controlling, cruel move. The cake thing is only supposed to be cutesy clumsy and this was obviously MEAN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 10:17 PM
28

Good grief. She should sell that thing to help pay for her expenses to return herself. Even non fancy ones can get you $1k or so and he can suck it up and buy it back from the dealer. I sold my ex’s dad’s when he left it behind and the divorce was finalized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 08:04 PM
262

…..go back in time and not be a douche? I’m even shorter than that, don’t mind dating 5’9” guys at all, and would still absolutely block and delete a guy who lied. I don’t want a guy who’s that insecure. I don’t want yet another guy who lies to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 12:51 AM
125

Boys are conditioned to aspire to marriage…..so that they can then sit on their butts and be lazy while their wife takes care of them. We need to actively condition boys to aspire to take care of themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:44 AM
30

Yeah it’s not unusual to be 4/4 then a fifth comes and it’s finally the other sex. Billions of people having babies around the world, all the weird stuff eventually happens. There’s a 6.25% chance of 4 kids being same sex and the fifth is a 50/50 chance. I know multiple families who had four of one sex and then a fifth of the other. (Edit to adjust odds; if you’re not specific to which sex the first four are, it’s a 12.5% chance the second-fourth kids will be the same sex as the first)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 01:19 AM
620

I love the audacity he has to say his ex moved on “so fast” and he’s trying to create a fake cheating narrative to make himself more the victim than he already is. Loser got what he deserved. Poor son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 01:15 AM
89

Nice = no requirements of them + strokes their egos. Nice woman means the man can be lazy which is their goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 08:07 PM
27

I had what was probably a fairly normal amount of attention that was unwanted but I’ve always had an ice queen vibe so it was never too bad. There was a time in college, I was about 22, when my barber (I had super short hair) apparently wanted to ask me out but he asked my dad about it first and was soundly told off. He was older than my dad and dad told him in no uncertain terms it was a disgusting thought for such an old guy to pursue me. So he didn’t thankfully. But I still started going else…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:03 PM
50

Because they’re pedos
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 02:28 AM
45

LOL I’m in my forties and I’ve been repeatedly hit on by a 32 yr old with a six pack. Unfortunately he also has the emotional maturity of a two year old and a drinking problem. I can never be drunk enough or desperate enough to hit that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 11:58 PM
55

In existing generations, you had to meet people irl because the World Wide Web was brand new and some of us didn’t have email until well into college and no cell phones until after college or in grad school. And I’m not yet 50. Live in a small town? Sucks to be you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 11:56 PM
45

To be fair, we aren’t unwilling to work on unresolved issues though. This idiot knows there’s another cause and still blames the toy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:48 PM
208

If they mimic any of the machismo, toss them right out. I think most of them don’t require a test, they pretty much scream it voluntarily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 04:54 AM
53

The articles said “police records do not indicate whether police responded to the initial 911 call or how” so the fault may easily lie with the police department. I can’t imagine the difference in prognosis for a child with a severe, fresh head injury vs one that is twelve hours old. Twelve hours of oxygen deprivation to parts of the brain, twelve hours of increased intracranial pressure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 04:53 AM
211

It’s like you mention sex and suddenly they forget that workers everywhere are exploited. Their brains fall out EVERY TIME sex comes up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 04:41 AM
254

That’s not all. She called 911 twelves hours before she was found. From her home. In her home. Dispatchers could hear fighting. They. Didn’t. Investigate. Police finally went to the home after family called for a welfare check. This has to stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 01:43 AM
34

They haven’t even tried to really demonstrate it yet and think they need a study to justify asking about it 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 06:09 PM
8

He doesn’t have a picture of her on his phone. That is reason enough to leave let alone this insult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 04:23 PM
15

TBH natural don’t hold purchase price value well either IME. The whole diamond business is a scam. That makes me torn on these issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 01:33 AM
43

Cheating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 10:48 PM
32

Now that I have a taste of living with no other adults in a home I own, I can’t imagine ever making space for someone else. I don’t even want to share the fridge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 02:19 AM
27

Defense attorneys are for criminal cases, they don’t apply to divorce. However she could check with the local bar association to see if there are any who might be available for pro bono work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 09:28 PM
32

They pretend to be all HV meanwhile you can’t even tell if they like the things you do for them. So you stop and they get all angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:23 PM
34

Because we really don’t care. We can always take care of ourselves. It’s only an issue when the loser is upset we don’t want sex more often.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:22 PM
56

✋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:47 AM
9

So many, many men have to learn to adult for a change when they share custody. My ex is still learning to reliably wake up to his alarm…..all his sick leave goes to being late for work in the AM and he has custody time on his days off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:46 AM
4

I had no idea AA was so toxic. Thank you for speaking up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:34 AM
87

Who the heck even feels like sex after walking in 90 degree heat? Good grief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 05:23 AM
71

There’s zero point answering someone who’s clearly not listening or paying attention
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 09:26 PM
30

I agree with them that it’s best not to care much what the negative party is saying. However notifications are annoying AF so I just want to clear up the cluttered digital space. And if your starting space is caring too much, reducing exposure is a step in working to care less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 08:28 PM
7

Another commenter literally said she herself was getting offers between 165 and 225 as a contract CRNA since COVID. See other comments on this thread. Things have gotten BAD in human medicine and they have to throw money at them to keep them. In some rural hospitals they have a single CRNA who is the only person in the entire system capable of running a vent - I know because a friend is one. And they’re having trouble staffing those small hospitals because contract work to larger ones pays big b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:45 AM
10

Even guys who intend to succeed don’t always. My first husband picked a career that was a horrible choice for someone with ADD. He was undiagnosed and WOW did that career choice explode the symptoms. He’s got a salesman persona so people love him and expect great things from him but the stack of notes of things he was supposed to follow through on? He never touched them. He would spend hours cleaning dirt (when no one would care) and never attend to the notes. He refinanced once for more money a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 01:27 AM
8

The internet is wildly wrong about average salaries IME. Their basis for those figures is often not representative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 08:36 PM
22

An independent contractor pays both employee and employer share of SS and Medicare taxes, plus regular taxes and all insurances (except facility) Human malpractice insurance is insanely expensive. So I fully believe the figure she states per hour for contract labor. That has long been an extremely well paid part of the nursing profession. It’s also, IME, been a profession you see a fair number of happy single women in - because they can afford to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 08:35 PM
3

I am so happy to see her unwilling to fund his gambling addiction. I am so happy to see her seeing through his shit and leaving him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 08:31 PM
16

Morons. They have patellas, they’re just not mineralized yet. They’re just idiots all the way around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 01:53 AM
52

I’ve mentioned before I’ve got a friend who lost his wife because the doctors kept blowing off her migraines as stress and “women problems”. By the time a female physician ordered an MRI, the tumor was extremely advanced. The surgery left her nonfunctional enough she was never able to go home before she died. My friend is now in politics fighting for women’s rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 10:18 PM
10

“Good communicator” = “I’m a native English speaker who doesn’t understand plain English, I need to be hit over the head by a sledgehammer and then need a male to explain it to me again”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:27 AM
3

Really high doses of probiotics can help IBS. I just started taking higher doses to prevent stomach ulcers from ibuprofen. I order a special product online that has to be refrigerated. It’s meant for IBS and ulcerative colitis - it just happens to be the most cost effective per number of organisms. I’m in the USA, I don’t know what you’ve got available there. Mine is VSL-#3. It’s making my gut feel better in general too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 08:15 PM
4

Cats migrate to people who ignore them. Sometimes that is a knowledgable person playing cool, sometime it’s a person who hates cats. My emotionally unavailable ex loves cats and cats like him. Doesn’t make him HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 08:11 PM
53

Run. I know women who married these men. The men became lazy slobs OR remained completely and totally unsuccessful in business whilst working ridiculous hours and leaving everything at home to them. Verbal, emotional, sometimes physical abuse began. Then during divorce they tortured the women who were leaving them by using the courts. The women still had to pay spousal support and child support and some are being accused of parental alienation while the spouse abuses the children. Run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 04:46 PM
29

In my state, if the debts were not refinanced during the marriage, they can stay entirely the responsibility of the party who incurred them prior to the marriage (that is the baseline judges default to). It’s similar for assets that were not added to during the marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 04:55 AM
86

Roosters often die trying to ward off foxes and coyotes from their hens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 01:04 AM
10

1) started and finished divorce 2) refinanced the house I kept, 2% lower interest rate (ex never wanted to do smart things like refi for lower rates). 3) instituted substantial retirement savings and HSA savings so I can minimize my taxes and, you know, retire some day. 4) replaced two toilets myself 5) ordered new house siding 6) bought basement LVP flooring I’ll install this year myself 7) installed LVP in my bathroom 8) paid off my primary vehicle and last but certainly not least, 9) discover…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 01:37 AM
43

I mean I knew male surgeons had an issue with hubris I just didn’t realize it was so profoundly slanted towards women patients.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 02:52 AM
104

It’s far easier to get most girls to focus when teaching shooting than it is boys. You notice it when you’re teaching kids to shoot or go to a kids’ competition. The only boys doing well have parents, usually dads, who’ve been working with them for YEARS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 11:52 PM
37

There’s like four things on this list, one of which is an actual human 🙄. And if we can get off to the shower spray but not to sex with most men? Uh huh. Tells a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 12:13 AM
14

This dude is never going to improve. His brain is finished developing and chances are essentially nonexistent that he has the self discipline to improve and maintain the improvement. Bullet dodged. His wasted life isn’t your to fix. Let him waste someone else’s time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 12:39 AM
12

Since I was married, most of mine can’t find me. My first husband continually does or says things that suggest he’d like to, though. Good thing I remember that his attitude did a 180 after we married and also he’s gained like 75 or more pounds and doesn’t seem to shower very often. We only have contact because of our son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 05:52 PM
33

The entire world would be better if more people would be self aware. And didn’t quash/conveniently ignore those observations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 03:57 PM
3

It’s warm today and will drop well below freezing after this so the kids and I are doing outside chores today, cleaning and installing new bedding and a water deicer in the chicken coop and mulching. I’ll play in my woodshop if time allows and hit the grocery store. Tomorrow we may have a winter storm so we’ll stay inside. I’ll work in my indoor garden area (pots under a fancy grow light), the kids will play new video games and my daughter will do her art.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 03:35 PM
73

Yes. I am making more than double what I was fifteen years ago when I was last dating. I own a house and have some retirement savings and building a lot more. Men are way more work than they’re worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:17 AM
36

“I’m doing fine”. Nothing else for many, many months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 04:53 AM
38

I agree. And living in the moment outside of dating means enjoy the moment, don’t focus on stressing about the future. It doesn’t mean don’t have goals or plans (but setting deadlines for yourself in dating - like planning marriage by a certain age- tends to push you into a pickme zone, so avoid pressuring yourself).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 05:26 AM
3

32 when we met. 45 when we split. Still listed. Yeah, I didn’t heed that red flag. He passed it off as a poor man’s will. He was not a poor man. I can’t believe I didn’t listen to my gut saying WEIRD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 05:20 AM
21

Number 1 is weird as hell and absolutely no way is that normal based upon myself or any single moms I know. My ex’s mom wasn’t like that either. Now the two of them are guilty of #2 to a partial extent but not this badly (he didn’t send her money but she remained listed as a joint owner of his personal bank account our entire 10+ yr marriage which is a red flag all its own I need to write about). And my son def won’t be sending me money. My great grandfather demanded his adult male children send…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 03:38 AM
51

Men will lie about it - have issues and stay silent, act like it’s OK, then get angry later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 03:19 PM
60

This feels par for the course in abusive situations. He’s managed to convince her. For now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 12:02 PM
14

Or beginning with “dear” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 03:01 AM
23

Another social media site has rampant catfishing attempts even aiming for married women. Generally imaginary military or surgeons (stealing photos from elsewhere), but my personal favorite was when they mixed it up a bit. A redneck man complete with camo clothing, a shotgun rack in the back of his pickup, named (first name) BECKY. I about died laughing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 11:36 PM
74

…..you don’t make it into vet school by using phrases like “money solved so much issues”. They vet pretty hard (pun not intended) for grammar and other communication. I smell a rat….. (however they don’t vet for depression and the system is set up poorly…..it remains a career system built for men with wives at home to carry the entire domestic load)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 11:00 PM
5

You could be a Pinterest queen! LOL Pinterest drives me crazy. I bet your miniature house is super cool!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 06:13 AM
24

May I also suggest a wood workshop, some power tools, and any number of Youtube or online courses to teach you to build with wood. Wood doesn’t leave you for an ex girlfriend or a secretary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 01:29 AM
28

I’m laughing so hard at the cook better than us. Exactly how many girls has he truly had in bed? No way he can claim most of us. Say your dick is tiny and boring without saying it’s tiny and boring…..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 01:19 AM
32

It annoys the heck out of me that we clearly state our limits, they ignore us, and later it’s “our fault” for having limits. WTF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:18 PM
19

He’s the AH obviously, geez.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 08:27 PM
29

You are not ruined. The BDSM created well worn pathways in your brain neurocircuitry. It takes time to wear new, healthier pathways and let the grass grow over the BDSM paths. Be a patient gardener. If your current therapist is still helping you, continue that work. You can do this!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 03:41 PM
5

Or what you didn’t do for yourself (usually the flip side of what you did for the wrong people)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 07:19 PM
68

My ex used to buy me cheap silver jewelry for holidays. The stuff that doesn’t even have a rhodium coating to keep it from tarnishing as fast. And he never even bought a ring even though that’s the only kind of jewelry I actually like wearing. You’d think the lack of me ever wearing earrings or necklaces would be noticed but nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 04:48 PM
15

I don’t have the kids for Christmas Day this year so we celebrated yesterday and instead of trying to cook we went out for a fancy meal. COVID cases won’t be bad here for another week so it was the golden hour (we’re all vaccinated and I’ve had my third) of opportunity and they loved it. I bought myself multiple woodworking power tools, a fancy grow light for winter herbs and overwintering tropicals, and new flooring for the basement at a bargain price. Just hung the grow light which will do a n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 10:00 PM
22

I love “there once was a study” posts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 06:17 AM
8

My ex was really lazy about dates and I put up with it. He ended up caring as much (which is to say not at all) about the marriage. Lesson learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 09:27 PM
21

I don’t even think it’s a “solution” to his other problems. This is just who he is. He abused his ex wife the same way without having a prior ex wife. I don’t know why but abusers seem to abuse people for their own sick pleasure. They actively hunt for someone to torture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 07:01 PM
84

I absolutely agree this dog was purchased as an abuse device. Which makes him just as abusive of the dog as of her. Her real mistake is not recognizing what the man is. She shouldn’t have to handle one more thing - I know plenty of moms who love dogs but simply can’t manage another living being. I hope she is safe. Leaving is so risky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 06:37 AM
34

No
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 06:03 AM
1

Duchesses Mavens Bosses Countesses I really like Wallets for Women though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:24 AM
5

Why do we assume there’s a girls’ aisle and a boys’ aisle? Why can’t the kids shop in either? My kids did. Very few of the play kitchens are pink. Just because there’s a pink aisle doesn’t mean we need to feel limited to it. Some kids go through a love-pink phase and then cycle out of it - boys and girls. Don’t forget that it’s up to the consumer to assume the shopping aisles are one sex or the other. It’s as much about us not letting ourselves be boxed in. My Christmas presents to myself this y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 02:44 AM
9

He’s so over the top that male radio DJs are calling b.s. on him in my area. But we know there are listeners believing him anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 05:40 PM
20

Serial cheater, not serial killer. My brain 100% went to the killer version to. Not that I disagree in avoiding him, but a serial killer remains MUCH more dangerous than a cheater.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 04:37 AM
35

1) minimal in a first date IMO/IME. Hugs are too much. 2) sitting next to them feels weird to a lot of people and can imitate too much intimacy. Sit facing him. Practice sitting across from people. It’s an important career skill anyway IME. Do NOT tell him it makes you uncomfortable. 3) natural conversation only. Vetting takes time. Don’t rush it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 12:27 AM
7

Neutral as a basic fact. When you learn more about him you may or may not find additive information which makes it a red flag but in and of itself, not a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 09:04 PM
3

The world has changed in many ways since it aired. Some for the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 04:07 AM
6

To an extent. But cats can react negatively to the smells of strange cats on a person, and they prefer people who ignore them, so it’s not always an easy answer. I have seven indoor cats of my own and they are a significant part of my professional experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 11:32 PM
3

I am happy for you that you are finding a way out of the hell hole. But go easy on yourself, it wasn’t pure pickmeisha. Part of it was dedication and a willingness to put effort in - now you’re just going to find more worthwhile endeavors! And you’re modeling that energy for your kids. That will be huge for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 03:37 AM
11

Honestly? Independent of relying on a man, it’s a MASSIVE PITA no woman should bother with. Not just the name change, but loads of legal crap later. Want to register to vote in a new state? Bring your ID, your birth certificate, your social security card, your marriage certificate - good luck. Lose your birth certificate and live in a different state? Get ready to travel with those documents to obtain one. Often can’t be done by mail if your name on your bc doesn’t match your state ID. Ironicall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 02:43 AM
29

Technically there were a couple of punctuation marks but holy run on sentence batman wtaf. I couldn’t even speak to him what a hot mess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 06:49 PM
10

He cooks and cleans. A SAHM teaches, decorates, remodels, bakes, plans, strategizes, budgets, saves, researches….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 09:19 PM
15

I’m in my forties. I would suggest that a very young divorced man has more possibility for being worth considering. He may well be toxic but there are more people who simply marry too young and mature into better partners. By the time you’re in the forties, most divorced men won’t acknowledge their contributions to a marriage’s failure and their own bad habits. The good ones found somebody and stayed married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 04:57 PM
12

If you build him up, he will just leave and you’ll end up with zero credit or benefit from your efforts. Never, ever neglect yourself in favor of anyone with the possible exception of your children if you have any, and even then you should take care not to excessively neglect yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 02:27 PM
62

Pretty sure there’s a similar bullshit argument wrt racism. It just never ends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 04:13 PM
2

Walk away from him permanently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 12:09 AM
10

Telling him no later will be even harder than it is now. Cancel. Honestly if you’re struggling to even cancel a date you’re not in any shape to date. The ability to say no is a critical dating skill. CRITICAL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 02:52 PM
6

There is no way in hell he does 50% of the childcare. He has no idea how much she does. And obviously having friends over is yet another way he gets out of childcare
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 02:48 PM
4

That’s such a crappy way for a mom to behave. My mom went nuts when my ex and I split and blamed me in nonsensical ways and now is bitching that the only reason I’m not talking to her is because my child is old enough that I don’t need a sitter (nevermind that since COVID I have gone nowhere and even before it was to events the child could EASILY come with me, I just let grandma have grandma time….back when she was nice). She’s made her refusal to respect my boundaries as an adult into me person…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 03:32 AM
7

The younger you are the closer you should stay to your own age. There are larger maturity differences in younger folks. I’d say the 5 year rule doesn’t/shouldn’t kick in until everyone’s 30.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 07:14 PM
9

How sad, and yet common, it is for a 16 year old girl to be more mature than a 45 year old man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 07:12 PM
9

Any of them individually should have you racing away after a block/delete. #3 is the worst IMO, but they’re all bad. I also bet he’s lying about #2
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 06:02 PM
67

Block and delete. Feeling uncomfortable this soon is a MAJOR red flag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 05:46 PM
14

You know he’s not even considering her effort to schedule her own medical appts and regular prenatal care like nutrition. He completely ignores that stuff
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 03:49 AM
37

I always figured he found a way to disappear in secret. I hate “reality” TV. Nothing but lies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 01:27 AM
30

Even when you have a small fawn Dane they do the same thing! Dogs are unpredictable and predators don’t like unpredictable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 07:10 PM
8

Mentioning it isn’t. Dwelling on the intricacies would be. If he’s talking about the benefits, that’s OK. If he goes on and on and on, that’s problematic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 08:00 PM
43

They don’t stay changed. They change for maybe two weeks tops and go right back to where they were. I know a LOT of divorced moms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 03:13 AM
91

I thought for sure she was 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 03:12 AM
14

Thing is, with kids those ages you can be a stay at home parent and still not be able to manage the schedules without help - especially if the kids have any sports or other activities. Once my oldest started driving things got MUCH easier. And I only have two!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:45 AM
9

I have zero sympathy for the mom. I have no strong feelings about the potential marriage here. We really have nothing to go on for judging him. I mean I might have let my mom move in to help care for young kids - the logistics can be tricky with school start times differing between elementary and middle/high school, plus kid activities. Him kicking her out now could be a positive. I am neutral on him for lack of data. Mom is a narc hands down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:43 AM
2

No. However, my dad had a barber his own age who ASKED MY DAD about dating me. That appalled my dad and he made it clear to the guy. So occasionally LVM demonstrate some HV characteristic (further demonstrates the need for continuous vetting)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 02:34 AM
5

I don’t think it’s collapse of the middle class. I think we’re just finally recognizing the trash that’s always been there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 01:00 AM
10

Prenups are valuable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 10:37 PM
3

It’s mostly neutral - there are no specific benefits outside of a wider pool, but the risk of fetishes is higher so it offsets that benefit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 02:21 AM
9

Because some women want their own children. Screw the men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:33 AM
15

As a forty something always monogamous woman, I’ll just gibe this advice. Learn to ignore people. Practice a deaf ear. It will serve you SO WELL throughout your life. “IDGAF” is a good mantra. It’s a hundred million times more effective than any explanation or comeback. Also, practice a blank “WTAF” stare and use it liberally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:02 AM
13

Why do I suspect he’s being lax in his diet and medical investigation to properly diagnose and treat this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 07:25 PM
15

What gets me is, I know guys like this exist. HOWEVER i cannot for the life of me see them on Reddit boards. I think this is an incel spouting shit he wants to believe but can’t bring to fruition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 02:23 AM
29

Arteries lead away from the heart not towards it (except coronary arteries but those exit the heart only yo stay close and circle it so you’d have to stab the heart itself) Veins lead towards it but the blood mixes well in the vena cavas. The biggest risk would be overdose. It’s theoretically possible certain drugs going straight into a carotid artery would hit the brain at too high of a concentration and be fatal (happens in horses) but the carotid isn’t one that’s likely to be hit in this mann…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 01:40 AM
12

I love your plan!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 07:22 PM
90

Guys who are motivated can learn skills BUT if he can’t keep it up long the first time I don’t think that bodes well for the future. IME that won’t improve
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 02:59 AM
82

Just ghost him. He’s not worth it if he’s this low effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 03:02 AM
34

I think bikini waxing is a waste of effort money and pain personally. It’s recreating a prepubescent look. Since you mention you find it oainful and expensive, I would suggest you reevaluate if it’s what you truly want or not. If a woman prefers it regardless of how she looks to others, it’s fine if she wants to continue. But I’m not ever going to start.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:23 PM
27

A higher powered laser works the same way as electrolysis - by destroying the hair follicle. It can have side effects like skin pigmentation change and more inflammation than electrolysis, and best effects require pale skin and dark hair, but I’ve never seen a reliable source suggest hair grows back worse. Rather, they say it returns lighter and finer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:20 PM
35

Men are by and large immature and overly simplistic. Some who aren’t overly simplistic are narcissistic manipulators. Be wary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 10:18 PM
3

Yes, excessive crying can be a manipulation tactic! Please please please listen to your gut. If you think you’re in deep now it’s no match for the depth of marriage!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 11:23 PM
8

If you can already see that he’s using your past against you I urge you to PLEASE listen to yourself. This is extremely common behavior for an older man in a relationship with a younger woman, but I also know women who’ve had this done to them by men of their own age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:17 PM
28

Bold mature women intimidate the hell out of men because it means they’ve lost the control. Being grey = bold. Go grey, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 02:26 AM
16

It’s not really true about black cats and Halloween. I’ve got a couple decades professional experience where I would have run across it a lot if it were. Black cats however are numerous and are invasive species nearly everywhere we keep them as pets, so allowing them outside allows environmental damage as well as being a serious health risk to them (disease, trauma, killed by predators, locked up accidentally and unable to access food and water) so I advise keeping them inside or confined to a c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 02:23 AM
33

His real height: 5’2”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 01:05 AM
17

Don’t try. If you try it just becomes false intimacy, or the fake intimacy of a narcissist. If it takes time and develops naturally it’s more likely to be real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 08:02 PM
18

This varies a LOT based upon where you live. Major cities and small towns aside, the coasts and the Midwest vary dramatically. There’s only one restaurant in my city where you could maybe spend $200 without alcohol. (And we know drinking on a first date is generally unwise). And I don’t want to go there often let alone for every first date. We used to have an AMAZING sushi restaurant with a true Japanese chef a mile from my house and even ordering two kinds of rolls per person we never exceeded …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 02:34 AM
17

Adults shouldn’t need to be taught to adult, obviously. Having said that - proper child rearing is remarkably like proper puppy rearing…..I still shouldn’t have to train a spouse though. I want a grown up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 02:24 AM
15

Public places, esp those with two exits. Drive yourself. Excuse yourself to the bathroom. Don’t return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 11:18 PM
34

Vetting would have to include when he is under times of significant stress. IME men who don’t handle stress well in one circumstance won’t handle it well in another circumstance. If his temper is shorter when he’s sleep deprived, just consider it likely he’ll behave this way with a baby. This guy’s working a lot, the baby is interfering with everyone’s sleep, and now he doesn’t have his bangmaid who was keeping him going before because now she’s exhausted and busy. I bet there were red flags bef…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 10:59 PM
22

As the parent of a teenager, I’d say it because of middle school kid attitude. The developmental changes occurring in that age group - thank heavens there is school and teachers because it wouldn’t have been pretty if I’d have had to homeschool. Middle school teachers have special skills and bravery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 02:45 PM
7

I’m not sad at all. I hope it wasn’t too fast or painless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 05:49 PM
43

I’m going to sound like “one of them” but it IS possible to find HVM, it really is. We’re just getting better about sharing info about the trash. We have no hard data about the % of HVM and L/NVM throughout history, but L/NVM definitely existed before and they were more hidden. Even my teenage son (without any FDS knowledge or prompting) told me it was weird for a high school senior to date a freshman because “if you can’t get a girl your age you need to work on yourself”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:43 AM
11

Most of the time it means they need an ego stroke. Because that’s how society has trained them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 03:32 PM
9

There are definitely places like this, places the complete opposite, and many in between. I have the benefit of a chill barn and a local fun show circuit which specifically avoid this snooty attitude. It would be so nice for you to experience barns around me. But I think overall, it’s the horses that make it more fair, not always the people. FWIW, I know of a fancy dressage horse who had to spend an extended time period in a veterinary teaching hospital. She was the LOVELIEST mare and everyone a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 03:19 AM
17

Cats are like chestnut mares. Tell me WHY I care. Convince me. I’ll determine if you’re FOS or not. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 03:14 AM
12

In college I had an equine repro class with hands on work. I was having trouble with a stallion until the professor supervising the dept (class taught by grad student) pulled me aside and told me about a serious lesson he’d given the horse previously so no one would die. He showed me how to take the cotton lead rope, smack it across the stallion’s chest (takes a good whack for them to notice, impossible to hurt them with 3’ of cotton) and practically yell “BACK!” Did that twice and once before e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 03:12 AM
6

On a practical basis, the most important self-care moves are saying no and getting enough sleep at night (which involves saying no sometimes to yourself). You’d fix a substantial part of the issues women create for themselves (with pressure from society) with these two things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 01:56 AM
5

Kindergarten
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 01:52 PM
3

It used to be yes. Now, no. I would figure out one of those internet services which can mask your number and give them a different number to use though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 11:14 PM
87

If his bite broke skin he could have exposed you to a number of viruses. Hepatitis viruses are more common than HIV and pretty scary things. Seeing the doctor would be wise. That was assault, not just abuse. I’m sorry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 11:13 PM
2

First grade
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 02:47 PM
310

How ‘bout you just not dwell on it and focus on behaving like an adult, mmm, k? SO many marriages end because men choose to dwell on what they don’t choose instead of focusing on what they DID choose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 06:48 PM
108

Passive men are problematic even if they aren’t playing it to eventually manipulate you. I divorced one after ten years of marriage so I have experience. They can play the victim no matter what you do. Mine also refused to ever speak his mind and later accused me of ignoring his needs. Which he wouldn’t even elucidate in therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 03:19 AM
17

That second wife looks like a major midlife crisis. Wonder how long it takes him to reach the next crisis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 01:53 AM
45

He’s absolutely going to cheat on her. Starting tmr if not already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 01:19 AM
8

Good grief that’s worth walking out of the second he opens his mouth and filing a complaint with insurance and his licensing boars
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 01:14 AM
3

I keep a variety of deceased animals in my fridge and freezer in various stages of slaughter for the purpose of feeding the animals that take up all of my spare time. My other animals are loud and/or annoying which is very much on purpose. I make all the decisions, the man can like it or leave. And if he stays there’s a long chore list. It gets longer every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:05 PM
3

I believe it’s personal preference on the woman’s part and his interest in listening to her that matter most. Ignore people who judge you on external standards. That’s a great way to end up with a rich abusive man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 04:06 PM
83

She’s right to wonder. If she plays her cards wrong her daughter lands in 50/50 custody with a closet pedophile who’ll deny it in court and potentially even 100% custody to him because she’s accused of parental alienation and being crazy. That actually happens. The right answer is to get him convicted first before she leaves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 10:59 AM
18

This isn’t about tailoring our personalities at all. WTF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:59 AM
1

I attended a public high school. I would not have chosen an all girls school. My experience with all girl environments is too much drama. And girls are MEAN at that age! It would have been nice to attend a larger high school (my class had only 68) as the wider variety of classes and personalities seems advantageous (my son’s high school class has >400)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 10:15 PM
43

Classic. Man. The fragility of their egos is insane. I heard about another woman this weekend who was “shot by a stranger” while her husband wasn’t, on a trip to the lake. Uh huh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 05:18 PM
2

No. I am not feeling clever enough to recognize the name you’re referring to but I will say it’s not a dating related sub. It’s more a pure making fun of people sub
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:10 PM
8

🤦🏻‍♀️ hint can’t name other subs I believe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:09 PM
73

Hahaha I just saw this profile in an unrelated sub that just makes fun of people. It’s very entertaining there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:55 PM
306

Conservative Catholic but RXXX in bed. So a fake conservative Catholic then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:43 PM
184

They’ll change after marriage, too. Because what they do before is to earn you and they see the work as finished after the wedding. And it doesn’t matter how long you’re in a relationship beforehand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 03:56 PM
41

I would start with a divorce lawyer - they generally do more family law and they know how things go when it ends so also know best how to position yourself. Some do an initial free consult, some charge a one hours’ rate, and you really really should meet with more than one before you decide whom to use. The pricing per hour varies greatly so just make some calls to find out your area. Also always use a local lawyer - they know state laws and your local judges.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:24 PM
20

And he and his family will spend $$$$ on those lawyers to make her go broke and give up when she finally leaves. It’s TORTURE if they have kids. Even if he doesn’t want custody he’ll fight just to be an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 02:25 AM
1

Yeah you answered your own question in the second half of the first sentence. I’m an INTJ and I have empathy…..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 01:06 AM
128

Ugh. My ex was stoic and I can’t read that well enough. My Southern MIL never liked me because I sucked at it I guess (that and not being raised as an old fashioned Southern woman). I just lived my life while he stayed silent and he left, fully expecting me to beg him to come back. He seemed really angry when I didn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:18 AM
5

You not only NEED to leave him, you need to consult the domestic violence support community to learn the safest ways. Anger issues, outbursts, guns, making up reasons to show up on your doorstep AFTER you break up - you are at great risk of violence from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:11 AM
97

Wait. You’re at high risk of hyperfocusing on a relationship with him which can cause you to miss or excuse more subtle red flags. Keeping him at arm’s length while dating around is an old-fashioned technique that WORKED. Use it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 02:56 AM
8

Only females and must have kids IMO yo be fully qualified. Those are part of my standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 11:44 PM
102

You’d think Professor Moron would understand cause and effect vs correlation. I see a societal problem breeding another societal problem and the college rates are merely a symptom - that men are lazy and stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 11:18 PM
31

She is still very young and there will never be a better time to leave him than now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 10:19 PM
73

I don’t have any polite words to say about that a hole dad and the mistress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 10:15 PM
3

Let yourself cry a little then pack that shit up and focus on the future. Having things to look forward to and the search for what you want is the single most happy brain chemical stimulating thing you can do. That means not thinking you want him back. You focus on other things that you CAN potentially have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:25 AM
51

And you’ll end up with a lazy man using shyness as an excuse who also had completely shit grammar. Same man also refuses to try anything because of (choose his excuse). What a win. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 08:51 PM
8

He’s infantile at best. I thought 18 yr olds in college who went home that much weren’t growing up. But this guy? Takes the cake. Umbilical cord is still attached.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 04:09 AM
18

I love the ideas, but I feel like abusers find their way around a lot of these. I know a woman who just found out her husband she’s leaving discovered her secret cash stash. They go looking. It’s hard, and scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 03:56 AM
6

TBH, IMO it has the same risk of failure every other marriage has. If either party doesn’t stay dedicated, lies to their partner or themselves about what they want, etc it all goes to shit. That can happen as easily at 40 as it does at 19. Some thrive some are disasters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 03:25 AM
2

It’ll be a minute while I work on picking my jaw up from the floor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 01:18 AM
3

Thank you for sharing this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:04 AM
112

Mooching, off anyone and and everyone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 05:47 PM
2

Parents don’t change. It’s hard for adults to change and to do so they have to want it deeply and personally themselves AND be willing to do the work. That just doesn’t happen because we need or want it and communicating does not help. Focus on therapy for you, which you CAN make a difference in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:31 PM
19

Yeah the closest I’ve come is a guy I met as an exchange student who later came to do a grad degree in the US and contacted me, but I was seeing someone else at the time. Also, he was ridiculously well endowed….
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:24 PM
2

The acne may follow you for decades so I’d start working with a dermatologist. I’m lucky enough my skin is tolerant of combining OTC acne meds so I haven’t been to a derm but even 50 yr olds can have acne!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 02:44 AM
13

Add to vetting strategy: spoiled siblings being enabled by parents or sympathized with by the man = huge red flag. The parents are in favor of the theft b/c they’re ready for society to take over the problem they created.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 01:08 AM
14

I think touching your thigh after unwanted advances that were rebuffed sounds like sexual assault
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 01:38 AM
3

I think it’s possible to be done well. It just usually isn’t. The one I know, his wife works two jobs and still has to do a lot of cleaning around the house. He’s lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:21 PM
10

I have a friend, another professional with an advanced degree, who just literally matched with some loser who asked if she had a room to rent in the THIRD message he sent (the first one being “hi”). He claims his landlord doesn’t clean up after her pets and when he said something she kicked him out. We all know what that means. Loser wasn’t paying her rent, never lifted a finger, and bitched when the litterbox smelled. No worries tho, in that group we only made fun of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 01:54 AM
30

I’m sorry for your/her loss. Such an EXCELLENT point. Most married women die alone because we outlive spouses. Even when life is perfect, it’s not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 08:59 PM
1

Sometimes women are attracted to men with toxic traits. I think time studying yourself, your interactions etc and probably therapy to help work through them may be helpful. Along with a healthy dose of “fuck it I don’t need a man” so you’re not likely to overlook red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 08:53 PM
28

Don’t. Do. It. Trust me. BTDT twice. It adds NOTHING but stress to your life. It makes EVERYTHING harder. More steps to even the simplest tasks. If you live in the state you weren’t born in, changing your name at marriage can make it very difficult to replace your birth certificate for example. I know someone born in CO who moved out of state and neither she nor her mother can get a copy of her birth certificate without either mailing their DL or driving there in person. Her dad OTOH can no prob…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 02:08 AM
3

Yeah some men drop the high value act sooner than others. Some do shortly into dating, some right after marriage, some after a few years of marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 02:04 AM
11

It is sometimes possible for justice to finally prevail in these cases so please don’t give up. I know someone who was beaten by police during a traffic stop completely unnecessarily and she eventually prevailed in court - in a lawsuit against the police. You need attorney guidance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 02:02 AM
66

There’s a lot of lip service paid to “sharing” but decision makers have determined men wouldn’t follow through. It’s unlikely they’re wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 12:02 AM
107

Do NOT coparent with a male friend. Parenting is hard, and will turn the best of friendships. If you think through all the logistics of being a single mother, by all means do that through a sperm bank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 08:50 PM
31

It’s ridiculous. You might consider reporting him to store employees for harassment. He def reached the level. I’d maybe give him one warning that if he didn’t leave me alone I’d complain to the store.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 08:43 PM
28

There is likely a disproportionate number of men with these real or pretend characteristics who want to be sluts and relive their pathetic youths. Men who work out a lot or who show off trappings of wealth on their profiles especially.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 03:35 PM
95

My ex would say this. It’s a red flag for them not wanting to do the bare minimum and wanting an excuse when you’re upset they won’t. It’s also a red flag for ignoring all of your effort and emotional state and refusing to do any emotional labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 02:33 AM
258

Don’t second guess red flags. Ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:54 AM
50

While I love the idea of deleting them, if they’re saved to the cloud somewhere they may not really be gone. Look for evidence he’s sent them or has underage girls and turn him in
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:53 AM
3

So, homeboy’s ex got tired of his shit and walked out. He doesn’t even know how to turn the vacuum on. For $900 I can pay mortgage, taxes and insurance on a 1300+ ft house in the midwest without smelling him. 3b/3b all to myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 06:12 PM
21

Nope, but 13 yr old boys are mad at everything and they don’t know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:07 PM
18

Signing divorce papers Tuesday. So far meeting a goal of walking at least 5 miles a day every day in September (total step count, preferably spread throughout the day).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 10:54 PM
6

Men can change their focus if they want to. He has actively chosen not to, so he’s worked to earn his own fate. Chances are if he was with “Genny” he’d suddenly lose the ability to care for her and he’d cheat on her too. HVM choose to stay focused on the woman they love. There’s a point in marriage where it’s past magical love and down to where you place your focus and effort
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 02:36 AM
3

I’ll just say, it doesn’t matter if it is or isn’t. It’s time to run regardless. It’s a giant red flag no matter what. If his life is this bad, he’s attracting it. He’s gotta change it on his own. You can’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 02:32 AM
75

It’s impossible for me to imagine a guy making a living this way. Even a talented woman would be hard pressed to and he clearly lacks anything such a woman would have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 02:00 AM
120

Never underestimate the negative level of intellect men are capable of reaching. Some start out their smartest at birth and it’s all downhill from there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:42 AM
11

What is it with guys in pickups going slow in the left lane (distracted and not using cruise control so they start going slower) then becoming aggressively vindictive when you go around them at a proper speed? Then suddenly they’re racing you, like for real!? Don’t date those guys. There’s no way they can be HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 04:29 AM
6

We don’t have those restaurants here. I’ve tried all the finest sushi restaurants and all but one steak restaurant. We used to have an amazing sushi restaurant where real kobe beef could run that high, BUT the chef needed at least two weeks’ lead time to see if he could obtain it so there’s have to be planning. I’m sure other cities like yours have more upscale places and more variety. I felt so blessed when that sushi restaurant was a mile by my house, but now he’s retired.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 03:29 PM
3

First I’d have to find a man who thought about the lyrics. Seriously, many of them are not that thoughtful. They don’t process information or ideas clearly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:52 AM
39

There are a scary number of women who were assaulted as children by men they knew who “seemed like nice guys”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:43 AM
42

There is a group of single moms in my career on another social media platform where we discuss divorces……this presentation is terrifyingly common. It reminds a person to not be jealous of what appears perfect on the outside. And it makes me extraordinarily suspicious of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:42 AM
3

You will be so much happier with yourself and your entire life if you dump these people who effectively diminish your value by focusing on appearance that you will be grateful when you finally dump these “friends”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:37 AM
19

I have a feeling location influences this immensely. I think there might be one restaurant in my midwest city where two people could generate a $350 bill. I’ve been to every other restaurant and unless you ordered 5 bottles of wine you still couldn’t get it to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 02:38 AM
36

They’d rather live like this than contribute to a house. #winning /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 08:44 PM
15

I vividly recall many years ago one guy who waived his red flags. I ignored too easily the initial ones and it took him less than two weeks to go stark raving crazy. I’m sure he was a narcissist and there was nothing covert about it. Lovebombing initially seemed creepy, next thing you know he ghosted for a bit then came back screaming blaming me for everything he was insane about. Fortunately even though I’d made a mistake giving him too much time I did not get attached in any way shape or form …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 06:51 PM
4

I agree with everyone else about it being concerning that he told you what he expects. Maintaining earning potential and majority control of the finances and a prenup that protects you adequately would be the major criteria I would have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 11:25 PM
39

Sigh. Mine has to be controlled by my mom and she has to run the checkbook or they’d be broke with a shit credit rating and no retirement. She also has to make him do stuff around the house. Like after asking him for years to finish the new bathroom so they could remodel the old bathroom one day she just took the crowbar and hammer in and started ripping out the old. Amazing how fast he finished the new bathroom then (like two days). He was never late to work and he never cheated on her (that wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:43 AM
4

Ranting about your buying habits strikes me as a red flag. Blaming the Kardashians in a rant for pornsickness strikes me as a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:02 PM
17

I am convinced that this type of lying is a manifestation of immaturity. Anyone who thinks about it for a moment will realize you’ll be caught and what would the point be? It’s not like they’re gaining anything from these lies. It’s a 5 year old’s mentality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 12:32 AM
5

Vet med
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 11:11 PM
13

LOL in my line of work that would be a work reference not a sexual reference. We love gross stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:35 PM
16

I’ve read it was with pay and they were rapidly reinstated. So slightly less offensive to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 12:09 AM
62

In raptor species the males don’t dip. They actually hunt like crazy to bring home enough food. It gets esp crazy as the young grow. Males make fabulous falconry birds because they’re hardcore and will crash brush in pursuit of prey despite being smaller. (smaller gives a flight speed and maneuvrability advantage)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 12:05 AM
176

OMG. The chances of this man being capable of knowing himself or speaking his own mind in a relationship are in the double or triple digit negatives. He’ll blame everything on the woman he’s with because she didn’t “think about him”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 11:34 PM
49

My ex: “You don’t act like you’re enjoying sex you just lay there”. Yeah loser, that’s a hint you refuse to take. I fully act like I enjoy the parts I do but most of what you do is THAT pointless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 07:57 PM
8

I believe I’m a feminist but I’m also mostly happy because I’ve learned how to focus on the moment any life and I’m not looking for outside validation from anyone let alone a man. The world is depressing but just because I’m a feminist doesn’t mean I have to focus on that to the detriment of the rest of my life. Compartmentalization is crucial to mental health care in my field (we have high suicide rates).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:30 PM
22

Ocean motion men can’t move a puddle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:26 PM
43

Good grief if every burned pot caught a house on fire 🙄. Idiot doesn’t realize you expect fires on stovetops despite mentioning flames going. He brought no supporting evidence to his melodramatic claim, showed zero care for her, and he wonders if he was the AH? You can’f fix stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 01:22 PM
60

She needs out before they get kids. Bet you anything his family spends serious money on a divorce attorney just to torture her when she files for divorce. 1000x worse after kids. I know at least one woman in that horrible situation right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:50 AM
38

There’s some really disconnected thoughts in that paragraph. For example a failure to name the supposed rewards. A failure to show evidence of the supposed behavior. The author can’t decide if he’s describing behavior or thoughts. And randomly mentioned the dating market, and suddenly standards appear in the discussion. Is he discussing standards or behavior? If the dating market lets her down, what is the “pancake” she is supposedly receiving? If the standards are too high, how can she be being…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 12:44 AM
6

Duh, the penis is 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:07 PM
83

What a fool or criminal to suggest or even go along with a hike like that for a woman not from the area and likely not experienced in desert hiking. Negligent homicide at a minimum IMO. Minimum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 12:48 AM
10

This can go either way. Confident guys don’t make it obvious they’re really smart. HVM will be confident in themselves, low key about their brains, and won’t neg other people. So I think the brains themselves are a non issue. It’s all the behavior around it that matters. I’ve met men on both sides of the spectrum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 08:32 PM
66

Using artificial means for beauty can be a slippery slope, especially if you’re trying to fit into society’s ridiculous aspirations. Photo editing has ruined our expectations. I see women who’ve used so much surgery and botox they look fake. I know that Botox has seriously important medical uses, and I don’t think a little use hurts, but it’s NOT healthy to paralyze your face when you’re young so you can “prevent” normal aging changes. They’re selling you a crock of $h1t there. Aging is caused b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 05:56 AM
26

Duck penises are corkscrew. That’s not mentioned but is implied by the “opposite direction” part of your quote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 11:49 PM
87

Penile spines are used in modern day species like cats and rabbits to stimulate ovulation. Otherwise cats and rabbits stay in heat more or less constantly with only day length changes cycling them out. Cat sex may look rapey but I guarantee you if she doesn’t want to she WILL kick his @$$. Queens (the proper term for a female cat) MUST want it or he won’t be able to hold her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 11:47 PM
11

I’m weirded out that she doesn’t think the son should inherit anything. He’s an adult already, not a child whose funds need protected. I wouldn’t expect her to leave the son anything. I also however don’t like that he’s bothered by her leaving part of her money to someone else or even a charity. I have a few charities I’d like to leave money to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 09:24 PM
3

Good grief. Being insecure does NOT justify what I’m pretty sure qualifies as criminal assault at a minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 12:56 AM
28

Truth! Now they just have ED rates too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 01:31 AM
5

Some women look “abusive” because they literally have to be the only adult in the relationship so they have a credit score above 300 and maintain a driver’s license. (my dad lost his license right before my parents’ honeymoon.) Other times men claim “abuse” and “controlling” when literally everything is happening inside his mind, by himself to himself, without any mention of it to the wife. Self imposed restrictions aren’t abuse, dude…it’s not your wife’s fault you have the reactions of a toddle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 04:17 AM
14

No. It’s very beneficial to let everything go. Consider it an educational cost and congratulate yourself for graduating!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:46 PM
99

And even if he doesn’t have any of these issues, he’s still likely hiding from his complete lack of emotional awareness and using work to avoid confronting his issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 04:14 AM
13

I might retire to a van life, so I can make a living doing abatement jobs. But right now I need more cold hard cash so I have money to subsidize that life 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 12:30 AM
36

The midlife crisis hits early. #nevergonnagrowup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 12:28 AM
661

The chances of him telling his mom the truth are like 0.001% and I might be giving him the benefit of the doubt at that much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 11:55 PM
6

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 10:55 PM
4

He won’t ever change. He has no interest in ever improving himself. It’s so much easier to play the sympathy card and play stupid helpless man. Oh boo hoo my parents. Real adults seek help from therapists or medicine from physicians, not pity from partners in codependency. I’m sorry he’s been essentially lying to you for so long. I don’t think they know what they mean and what they don’t mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 04:37 AM
13

Yes. Plain water is best for that area.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 04:22 AM
3

That kind of lie is well worth block/delete. Even cold turkey. What kind of man tries to hide his child that way? Only a loser, at best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:44 PM
17

…..$6k hearing aids never worn but blames wife on not being able to purchase a $3k bicycle……angry in therapy over it. Wife’s spending is to provide food and basic supplies for the house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:02 AM
81

I read an interview article once with a woman who’d been photographed with a six pack. She was saying what it took to achieve - including skipping all fiber the day before and tensing her abs during the shoot. It was a good look at reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:58 AM
36

Sean Connery. None of them resemble him in any way shape or form. Only some movie stars in their public persona stay hot in their golden years. And let’s face it, just as many women do too. I bet we could name at least a dozen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 06:14 PM
41

He has an impulse control disorder at this point essentially like a gambling addiction. He is 100% a MASSIVE liability at this point. It’s well beyond taking advantage of her. He is spiraling down. She needs to jump ship with her kid ASAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 06:17 AM
25

His intention wasn’t friendly. His intention was to hit on you. Yes it’s bad advice but thanking him would be the “safe” response in an arena where we are at risk no matter how we behave. You were uncomfortable because he was being excessively forward and familiar with you. Go with your gut. He’s a creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:29 AM
8

I can’t believe that genius has to ask. Smart women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 11:09 PM
1

The problem with some moms is their idea of successful and doing well doesn’t involve work on their son’s part. She fed into the patriarchal idea that it’s the woman’s job to do all of the heavy lifting emotionally and mentally as well as physically. And she pushes that onto my daughter. You’d think she would have learned after either of her two marriages but nah, let’s just keep promoting it…..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 10:53 PM
16

I don’t know much about his dad, but he was from another country and disowned the family when my ex was 10 so he could take another wife (it was a political career move)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:32 AM
183

The worst attitudes towards women I have ever seen were in prison guards. The job draws the bad guys and breeds bad attitudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:21 AM
112

My STBX has zero emotional intelligence, to the point her has zero emotional self awareness. His good-ole-Southern-boy upbringing did not prepare him AT ALL for life and his momma left him devoid of any ability to have a serious relationship. He goes along until he realizes he doesn’t want to be married (zero interest in communication let alone compromise of any sort) then he blames everyone but himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 10:49 PM
19

There is nothing less fixable than a man over age 17 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:00 PM
7

Just be aware that these pointers are only a component of a larger vetting strategy. Because it’s very easy to still end up with a NVM even if you never live together and he proposes quickly. My first husband was the all-efforts-before-marriage-and-none-after type. He also lost his ability to save money after marriage - went from having savings to being dead ass broke and the accountant couldn’t even figure out where his money went.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 03:55 PM
26

I am in some special interest groups but they predate my divorce. I’m continuing them because I enjoy these activities and though they are predominantly male, the vast majority of the men I’ve been around have behaved appropriately - they’re married and they don’t flirt or talk suggestively with any of the women. Except for ONE guy who happens to be younger than me. He’s clearly severely immature and clearly wants a sugar mamma. It’s bad enough the other guys have commented to me about it and he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 03:50 PM
116

Agree. There’s no way that horrendous book didn’t contribute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:25 AM
27

Not me personally, but a friend whose husband has been with her well over 20 years, solid guy, not creepy, never flirts with younger women, keeps up their house, donated his kidney to her AND handled all of the insurance bs that went with it. Those kind of men stay married because they put effort into their marriages. I actually met him first so I’m confident he doesn’t flirt with younger women because I am one 😉. When he jokes with the guys without their wives around (hunt club I’m in), it’s ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:26 PM
18

I’m so glad to hear she was wise enough to heed the red flags. That’s wonderful for her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 07:14 PM
1

I always take internet reviews with a hundred grains of salt. Some people lie or have a SUPER skewed view of what happened. I’ve seen them blame docs for missing a diagnosis when the client or patient refused diagnostics, blame docs for deaths when the client refused treatment, were angry they couldn’t get ER care at a regular GP practice, all kinds of crazy stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 07:13 PM
12

“Monkey tricks” instead of having a personality or actually doing things for someone they care about 🙄. Sounds like his problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 04:13 PM
16

Block and delete. Ignore the request.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 04:08 PM
113

That’s why they rape infants and elderly women. There was a 72 yr old woman raped in our community recently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 01:16 AM
62

By “hit the wall” they mean finally stand on the wall and see the big picture for a change, wherein losing all of our f*%&s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:21 AM
12

Exactly. Those relatively few years are MASSIVELY important especially at this age. There is a LOT of maturing that should happen between 16 and 18 and again even more between 18 and 22. 22 is an age where there should be no interest in 19 yr olds. 19 is an age that should have no interest in 16 yr olds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 05:32 AM
10

Yeah, but some (mostly guys IME) have purposefully wasted their time. Fourth year seniors. I worked with a guy my freshman year in undergrad who was already on his second or third year of being a senior. He made a point to “teach” me how to waste as much time as possible. I spent a year abroad, a total of five years in undergrad, then a professional degree that was another four - and in my fourth year on a rotation of mine I ran into him, he was finally a senior in pharmacy school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 05:43 PM
14

Yep. Her one GLARING error is taking up with him/not dropping right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 05:33 PM
8

“I hate that she puts forth effort and it pays off, she’s making me look like a loser” - because you are, you lazy ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 05:23 PM
20

Losers and their generic mid-life crises. He’s such a cliche it just makes him more pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 03:40 PM
35

I don’t know if it’s the biggest red flag because I don’t even think about these guys long enough to compare flag sizes. This has been a HARD pass from me even in my most PickMe days. One of the very earliest tests is the appreciation of cats + a sense of humor about their stupid shit. No baby talk tolerated. And I LOVE my critters but “fur baby” is a term that grates on my nerves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:16 PM
25

Agree. In general you should be skeptical of all advice and vet it on its merits. Just like men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:26 PM
32

For me it was 3”. Seriously how is that even possible 😂It was SO bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 09:13 PM
5

That’s a straight up block and delete. Don’t explain anything to him. He doesn’t need pointers - these flags need to visible to all queens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:40 PM
15

Men just can’t stand being alone. IME (used to work in nursing homes in college as a CNA) most older women wanted nothing to do with them but it doesn’t stop the old men from trying. Women who tolerated shit their entire decades long marriages almost never wanted to remarry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 01:09 PM
28

And sometimes look responsible with money but really really aren’t. Mine didn’t spend money unnecessarily. However, he also wouldn’t spend money necessarily for important things like home upkeep. EVER. He turned out to have a house he owned in the city he lived in SEVEN YEARS EARLIER and hadn’t managed to sell. So it was a loss when he did. How do you lose money on a home you’ve had for TEN years??? And he played the stock market. Small so no major losses but a huge tax headache for which he was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:48 PM
13

LOL you say logic as if men are controlled by logic. They react without thinking just like toddlers. They don’t handle pressure or stress well at all. They now have a perfect candidate to control and abuse. It’s a coalescence of many factors, but none are based on actual logic. Edit to add: pregnancy gives a woman power (something is happening the man can’t control), and men reflexively feel a need to exert more control over what they view as their domain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:55 PM
95

🙋🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:34 PM
3

Don’t get married. I did finish my final degree first and that was smart. Choose to have kids if you want, on your own is totally possible. Keep saving for retirement but also save for a house. Big time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 03:07 AM
39

I’m well past my mid 20s and I was NEVER attracted to older guys (excepting George Clooney of course). Didn’t stop them from hitting on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 11:01 PM
39

I just give them a dirty look. Which is basically my normal rbf with a bit of a frown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 02:54 PM
19

These men would never be happy in any relationship no matter how “perfect” the woman because they’re screaming they want to put zero effort into it - and you can’t stay in love with someone if you don’t put a little effort in. We want men who will work harder than us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:54 PM
2

The tone simply exemplifies the extent to which she is a PickMe. She is trying to make herself love him and see value in her situation when deep down she knows she doesn’t and there isn’t. But that would be super painful to confront in her current situation because then she’d also be a single mom with 3 kids under 5
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 08:53 PM
1

The hormonal changes can make teeth feel looser but the actual cause remains gingivitis from bacteria, not pregnancy. Relaxin doesn’t cause gingivitis. Plenty of dental specialists say it’s a significant exaggeration to suggest it causes your teeth to fall out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:18 PM
17

“You’re not really….” “After this you won’t….” Truly the ideas scrotes have are mind boggling. I swear at least half of them just assume you’ll mold yourself to fit their imaginary ideal after you get together/get married. He might not even plan to tell you what he expects, but he still expects it. Then he blames you when you remain true to yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:26 AM
1

Babies don’t leach calcium from you. Pregnancy can be anywhere from easy to extremely metabolically taxing and it can vary widely between pregnancies even in the same woman. Pelvic floor disruption and urinary leakage is quite common and not mentioned (in the posts I’ve seen so far). Even weird things (have a coworker experiencing an unpredictable tachycardia causing fainting and they don’t know why, but her mom also had it in pregnancy - that’s a lot less common). I had a nasty carpal tunnel in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:22 AM
4

I’m saying there are some things claimed which aren’t scientifically accurate and scientific inaccuracy contributing to fears drives me insane. Science and medicine are my professional area of expertise. Fear mongering based on inaccurate information is not how we level up. Nothing in my statement suggested we should pity men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:10 AM
152

A mistake is a speeding ticket. A mistake is forgetting a detail. A mistake is burning your dinner. Assault is not a “mistake”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:24 AM
0

I don’t think the teeth thing is typical or should be normal - men that age develop more dental problems also from accumulated damage. The baby doesn’t leach that much calcium and we should all have a better diet than one so calcium deficient. HOWEVER if stomach acids from “morning sickness” sit on your teeth, THAT causes massive cavities. But that happens with any vomiting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:51 PM
13

Women should just split the line between the two bathrooms. That’s what men do. I participating in a bike race (though I wasn’t biking to race, I was one of the for fun participants) and they are predominantly male where I live. The men were equally lined up at both bathrooms. I went to get in line and some of them moved and told me to get ahead of all of them since I was a woman and no other women were in line. They had no qualms about using our bathroom when women weren’t there to us it. We ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:01 PM
37

The idea that an age gap can be ok is based on the idea that men mature more slowly. But that’s false; if he hasn’t matured by age 40 HE WILL NEVER MATURE. #loserforlife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 10:37 PM
19

A hobby I took up while married was the first time it was clear to me my now ex was an ass. It super offended him. Everything about it did. Even me doing a shit ton of hard labor while he sat on his ass assuming he was going to do it (the loser was pissed about it EVEN AFTER I HAD FINISHED IT ALL). He eventually seemed to adapt, but in the end it was part of his lame ass excuse. Still have the hobby. I have multiple friends across the country thanks to it, and a few contacts abroad. It also enri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 12:54 AM
83

Spend less time with them. It sucks to have to cut family out but in the long run you will be better off minimizing their chances to rain on you leveling up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:31 PM
9

I’d say on average the problem is she’s doing all of the work and he’s expecting all of the fun. He won’t carry even a half share of physical, mental, or emotional labor. She’s got no energy left and can’t remember why sex was desirable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:20 PM
7

Aye! I’m def using that phrase in the future!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:37 PM
6

I’m more triggered by the fact that he is talking behind her back to other people including her own family, against her. Massive red flag in how he’s handling this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 11:31 AM
22

Yes I suspect we’re exposed to different people promoting this from different angles. It’s completely naive and dangerous to think we can just suddenly stop encouraging women to be safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:40 AM
2

I wear whatever I want. That was never a complaint any of my exes ever had. And I am not good at dressing “cute” or “sexy”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:37 AM
3

That loser thinks he acts out his fantasies by watching 😂 You can’t fix stupid but you can def block it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:34 AM
55

My understanding of this argument isn’t that we shouldn’t have to teach women, we should make the boys learn. Which isn’t wrong, though it is a slow process hence the continued need right now to continue to protect ourselves and teach our daughters their value and defenses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:32 AM
3

🤣🤣🤣 bless him and his dreams
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:02 AM
5

I can’t even say what my response would have been. My comment would have to be deleted by the mods. That dirty rotten bastard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 02:09 AM
9

I’ll play. Not an active profile in >14 years but sometimes surf to read between the lines and remind myself why they’re trash. Like the psychiatrist with liver spots on his bald head who claims to be 50? Puh-leaze. 50 still looks young to me (late 40s here). Porn + immaturity + manipulation, probably a narcissist. “Carefree”? Immaturity and wants a mommy/maid/slut whose needs he’ll ignore. Etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 05:56 PM
17

I know women suffering through this trauma right now. Denied access to their child who is being abused at the hands of the father. Like we don’t have enough cases of children who have matured out of these situations after suffering and now telling their stories to prevent it. Heartbreaking and a horrible disservice to the children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 09:36 PM
8

Most lock changes are simple DIY projects. The internet has loads of how to videos that can help you figure it out. And if one of your local hardware stores has any older female employees, ask them. Sometimes the older men can be really helpful too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 09:26 PM
2

Yeah. So true. My ex trash talks to my family (my mom is a horrible pickme) and blamed me for all of the things he was actually guilty of (classic projection). I went to therapy with him. He sat in angry silence refusing to talk while his therapist attempted to explain that even if I was angry it didn’t mean I had anger management problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:35 AM
4

Some schools have awards ceremonies where every kid gets recognized for something. The teachers find categories. Being kind is one you see a lot. Half a dozen kids might get it. Also, promotions from preschool, kinder, fifth grade are common here. Eighth used to be but seems less common now (probably teenage attitude related….). Some medical programs have white coat ceremonies for entering clinical year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:13 AM
9

They can’t weed out the narcissists so I’d be super leery, personally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:06 AM
18

I stopped talking to my mother last August. She’s a raging pickme who decided my STBX is a saint just because he seems better than my father. Screw it, if she wants another adult child she can have him. I’m not speaking to her after the way she treated me. Good job standing up for yourself! It has its tough times but it’s so much nicer without the toxicity around you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:24 AM
4

Punishment based systems cam backfire in massive ways or in subtle ways. I witnessed a dog ruined for hunting by someone who trained high level hunting dogs of another breed with them regularly. The dog he ruined should have been a natural, but was too scared to walk up steps or even leave the owner’s side. I’ve also seen men use them for fun because they’re jackasses. And positive reinforcement based systems have been shown repeatedly to be as effective for all dogs, significantly faster overal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 01:42 AM
22

Is a fan of Cesar Milan. Uses a shock collar. Double red flag if he thinks the shock collar is fun. Actually, just report him for abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:05 PM
8

Women his age already have their own kingdoms, and don’t want him trashing them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:44 PM
2

So, some/a lot of those guys suck badly. But even the better ones can lack some SERIOUS self esteem if they aren’t wildly and blindly applauded by the woman for basically breathing. God forbid you should critique ANYTHING or even ask a question. It’s their mothers’ faults for never developing any resiliency in these adult children. “My little Johnny is just so perfect.” 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:03 AM
4

VERY true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:22 AM
11

When you’re referring to just cosmetic surgery, yes. But plastic surgeons also fix cleft lips and treat burn and trauma patients. They also suture facial lacerations from minor wounds. Surgeons who only deal with body mod for ego, though……
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 01:46 AM
8

I’m playing Pokemon Go walking around the parking lot of an empty government building on a weekend while some hotshot teenagers start doing donuts in the lot. Some other younger (12-13 yr old) white boys start taunting my “oh look it’s Karen she’s calling the police” no you little dipshits it’s fairy week I’m working on my platinum medal. Hard to be a Karen when the hotshots are white just like me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:27 PM
7

If a woman wants to not die alone, her spouse would need to be like 20 years younger for a semi decent chance 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 03:19 PM
3

I would just caution that the point of diminishing returns is very real. For example, an average priced neighborhood in my city is valuable for reduced violent crime and an age of home with true quality builds and site selection/prep. Neighborhoods above average prices were built during the bubble with shoddy methods using less desirable homesites (read: downhill closer to flood areas), more bossy/controlling HOAs and bitchier neighbors. They have the same amount of nonviolent crime as my averag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 02:38 PM
19

Ghosting is less than desirable BUT it’s recommended because so many men won’t take no for an answer. It just invites them to escalate their toxic behavior/responses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 02:31 PM
18

All of those guys suck. Hard to read is code for “I can’t tell if she’d sleep with me or not” which means they’re thinking about it. And straight guys are ALWAYS thinking about it. All of those guys support rape culture. Since you’ve been so strong already I suggest calling them out on it. Apologizing for rapey behavior is supporting rapey behavior. You are RIGHT and they are JERKS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:08 PM
24

It’s because society lets/encourages them. Nothing grinds my gears more as a mom of a teenage boy than the “not everybody needs or can earn As” baloney. My son CAN but he hears one excuse and he grabs it and RUNS with it so I’m the bitch chasing him down and being a hardass about privilege access. Now he’s near the end my NVM ex is finally on his case but my kid doesn’t take him seriously. He had the same English teacher this year as last and I told her last year and multiple times this year NOT…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 03:51 PM
6

Let’s see….in my personal experience, I have met 1) pornsick 2) super toxic 3) ignores your dealbreakers then tries to slide around them 4) lie about age 5) just want a bangmaid 6) just want to baby trap you 7) have no idea what THEY want 8) complete lack of communication - all in that apparently young/successful/attractive collection. Society raises men to be low value, in many different ways
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 03:19 PM
7

If it’s really a she, she’s clearly forgotten a lot in 7 years…..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 07:43 PM
13

OMG 😂 there is no way he understood his test results. His English is terrible. And not in the usual non-native speaker errors type of way, which I’d consider totally forgiveable. Good job ghosting him, hopefully it eventually sticks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:10 PM
17

And this assumes the prenup protects you, when it sounds like this one would only protect him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:42 PM
19

I can tell you that hepatitis B is much more common than HIV. (source: OSHA training back when I worked as a nurse’s aide in college) So add that to your list of reasons to use a condom every time no matter what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:01 AM
1

Facebook today, man 🙄 You know what folks, single dads do not get celebrated on mother’s day. Ffs. They can wait six weeks for their own fing day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:46 AM
117

I believe we would love to see a Zoom lecture from your grandmother on how to date properly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:45 AM
49

Some companies do give paternity leave. In the USA if a workplace qualifies for FMLA, paternity leave qualifies. Which means they have as much protection as women do for maternity leave - which is not adequate of course. But at least he didn’t have a medically significant event occur. And “bonding with the baby” is basically learning that he is in facf capable of changing a diaper and soothing a baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:42 AM
40

….on a young woman in mourning who’s clearly crying, no less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 11:29 PM
7

I might not have moved in with him. I definitely would not have married him. It was a shame such a responsible man who was so politically compatible with me was not, and never will be, emotionally mature enough for a marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 03:15 AM
58

Even the ones who don’t bulldoze (my second husband) still react that way. They have been allowed to believe they’re never wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 01:51 AM
26

First time I went to counseling (1st marriage), she told me to just let him fail (business I cosigned on). Second therapist years later ID’d his ADD the first one missed; this is why he failed. She was too late for our marriage though. Many years later, 2nd marriage (LVM instead of prior NVM, so some progress by me); she told him with me present he was wasting my time. She was ID’ing how I felt and she barely knew me. And it was his therapist. I suspect you aren’t the only therapist who feels th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 01:48 AM
34

I’m 47. At this point I am having difficulty picturing what a man would bring to my life which would make it worthwhile. I don’t even want to make room in my refrigerator right now 😂. Big concerns I would have include: 1) does he want a maid? 2) does he want a cook? 3) are the kids going to leave home? 4) how healthy/toxic is the kid/parent dynamic? My personal list includes my animals. I have a lot. I have been creeped out by guys who were too baby-ish with them (one dude was so toxic that his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:54 PM
4

You can absolutely turn off notifications for the app, and only look at them (or turn back on) while you’re actually working. If you are in the USA it’s likely illegal for your employer to require it outside of work. I agree with contacting HR about handling the nature of these messages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:56 PM
10

Because there aren’t a million books and parenting classes and websites and other parents for him to learn from in advance. Oh wait....... (of course we all know at least half of them wasted that 9 months of warning they got).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:11 PM
9

This is fascinating and I am so glad you brought this to my attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:29 PM
39

Standing in defense of your kids or practice standing up to a toddler? 🤣 Seriously though it can be work for some of us to develop that skill. It took me years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:22 AM
3

Horse ladies are too strong and take no shit. Also, they’re too busy to be at a man’s beck and call.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:50 AM
2

1) No initiative. Not for household chores, maintenance, improvement, dates, gift giving 2) Wouldn’t bother to parent the kids. They just existed in the house and he’d cook dinner. Usually later than bedtime when they were toddlers. So I had to set reminders on his phone to feed them at 5:30 (when I would still be at work) 3) Would never say what he wanted/needed. Even with counseling. Even when he chose the counselor. TBH I don’t think he was self aware enough to even know. This was also reflec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 11:24 PM
60

That degree pays the heating bill 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 08:23 PM
56

I don’t think keeping it a secret is the key. The key is not getting that excited about him. Tell your friends how he’s treating you. Listen to your gut as you repeat these things. Don’t place a value on him for an extended period of time. See if you continue to be as happy about describing how he behaves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 06:58 PM
44

I know some ladies whose husbands have commented about it - they’re weirded out by getting comments about the awesome job they’re doing just because they’re grocery shopping with the kid(s). And other women who claim they can’t go on a short trip because their husbands can’t manage with the baby. Sure he can, if you give him the chance. We shouldn’t be our own worst enemies here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 06:20 PM
7

Unless it’s a guy who was doing something super stupid. Almost none of those videos are of women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:04 AM
8

“Penis head haircut” is the specific phrase I’ve heard used against short haircuts. I kinda wish I felt like going back to one but I dislike visiting a salon that frequently, and if I go to a barber the creepy old guys hit on me (my dad had to tell off his barber for it....if he was really HV would have changed barbers IMO)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:02 AM
1

😂 I would totally hang with this guy if he were into my special interests, which are outdoors and can be compatible with an itinerant lifestyle, but I’m NOT dating him! It’s a pretty rare lady who wants that. But there are some....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:57 AM
20

Smart move to leave him. He would never initiate anything in life if he won’t initiate dates. Wasted eleven years of my life on one and he still blamed me for all of his failures to take initiative in his own life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:48 AM
6

This is the version we’re most familiar with but the originating fairy tales date back centuries. The patriarchy and pickme culture is ancient!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:21 PM
2

Or was it because he was too privileged to be bothered to find her and only sent his lackeys? Depends on the version you read. Either way it’s no better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:19 PM
10

And half of them aren’t even self aware enough to realize why they’re doing it. The other half are fully aware.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:46 PM
15

I agree this person needs a formal reprimand and formally removed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:44 PM
4

I think it’s true - and even when you aren’t ourwardly, it still takes a while to undue the subconscious tendencies. I don’t see it as an attack, I see it as the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 10:43 PM
11

My ex said he was leaving. This time I didn’t ask him to stay let alone beg him. He claimed later I was giving up. Dude, you never once tried and I stopped caring. IDGAF what you do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 07:29 PM
15

At least twice in my life everything has dramatically improved when I left a job. The first time the boss had previously threatened me that I would seriously regret not signing a new contract (which would have been stupid of me to sign, I consulted an attorney first). She fired me, she fought the unemployment claim and lost. Within two weeks I had a new job anyway and a raise and a new boss who was excited about what I brought to the position. I could sleep through the night again and my shoulde…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 07:27 PM
11

Also a good prenup because if he turns out to be trash you can lose everything you worked hard for in the divorce. I know a lot of women in that boat with spouses who are substance addicted, lazy, or narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 06:45 PM
10

Treating boys as if they’re gods contributes to this. They don’t learn how to handle disagreement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 04:56 PM
1

I’m about to vomit just thinking about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 03:26 AM
9

This is where political correctness is taking priority over plain logic. Any amount of reasonable thought would see the misogyny, but the dept is shaped by the news over the past year to see the racism first. The lack of mention of misogyny demonstrates that they spoke before they actually thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 01:08 AM
17

They actually talked about his skin color, though. Sticking to tradition in naming isn’t the only evidence of how a child is treated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:06 PM
4

I like how he admits that men aren’t capable of thinking more of a woman than they do a car.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 03:34 AM
6

Wise to catch yourself. The world would get a lot better a lot faster if everyone could do this. Good job!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 03:32 AM
181

Even when the “man who invented” was actually his wife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 02:51 AM
2

It would be a literal devil’s advocate. The devil doesn’t need that much help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 10:09 PM
24

I remember in college wondering why the guys I knew were almost always homophobic but none of the women seemed to be. Was it politeness on the women’s part? Nope. We didn’t see gay men or lesbians as a threat. You find out a guy’s gay, you breathe a sigh of relief. Men know what guys are like, though. They were preemptively worried about their own personal safety. And also offended that lesbians wouldn’t be interested in them. At least those are the conclusions I drew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 01:01 AM
3

Mmm sometimes they definitely want us to be creeped out. And then tell us we had no reason to be because they “weren’t going to do anything anyway”. So they can keep creeping us out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 04:36 AM
5

My second ex husband to a T! Because it was IMPOSSIBLE for him to every be wrong per his mother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 04:33 AM
63

You’re right it’s not a good plan for most of us. I certainly wouldn’t be capable. But I’m still going to enjoy thinking about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:31 AM
12

WTAF. They clearly don’t understand what the word means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 09:38 PM
9

I agree with comments to fill this emotional need with something other than a man. Connections with female friends is a good idea, as well as finding ways to make yourself happy. Volunteering, creating something, hobbies and the communities of people with the same hobby, as well as your personal self esteem are all great examples.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:04 PM
4

My dad worked at his job but was kinda lazy overall. Mom had to push him to do things. They argued A LOT. She is bossy as hell. They stayed married because that’s what you did. Now she is super angry at me because I haven’t stayed married. I’m sure she sees it as my failure and by association hers. And she thinks I should stay miserable like her. She was screaming at me. Couldn’t even keep it straight in her yelling at me who left whom; I was simultaneously horrible for not staying and so horrib…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:01 PM
19

YES PREACH IT!!!! My second husband was way better than my first, but this is the category he’s in! He first tried to walk out on me less than a year after we married (he proposed) when I was pregnant with our daughter because he DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO BE MARRIED. And I was an idiot and begged him. Now, f him. This last time I seriously think he expected to be begged and to give some ultimatums but guess what bro, my chickens are WAY better company than your lame ass. I walk outside and they come…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 01:19 AM
31

Yeah the problem isn’t with us being independent (we should be) it’s that men advertise they want us for the wrong reasons/they’re lying. Just because he wants what you are doesn’t mean he’s looking for a healthy relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:31 PM
14

I hope you stay well ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 06:18 PM
91

Is this problem occurring in single room locations or larger rooms with multiple stalls? I have only seen single room unisex ones (such as a gas station bathroom, single room with locking door) but I hear about being alone with males and it makes me think there are spaces I’m unfamiliar with. I feel very privileged WRT assault so I’m naive and I want to be more aware of how best to advocate. Are the single room ones safer?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 06:08 PM
37

One characteristic does not make a HVM. A HVM is more one who exhibits many HV characteristics and no LV characteristics. The problem is many LVM hide behind a collection of HV characteristics. They see themselves as superior because of it and the toxic LV characteristics persist, sometimes hidden for quite a while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:24 PM
2

I have been relatively fortunate in my relationships but I am so angry that you and others have been through this. I wish I could set all of these idiots straight for you. And certainly stand with you. We do nothing or little to teach young women their rights and how to help each other. No one should be subjected to this type of treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:19 PM
10

I’m about to break my phone I’m so angry reading this and I couldn’t even finish it. Of course I’m fEmAlE so I actually have self control and rational thinking. What. The. Actual. Fuck. NO HE WAS NOT THERE BEING RAPED 😡😡😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 06:54 AM
3

🤢 disgusting!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:33 AM
121

The biggest Ponzi scheme in history may come crashing down. Imagine that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:53 AM
19

And if he is quite literally half deaf? His wife gets blamed for communication issues. He takes no responsibility. Doesn’t sign. Refuses to repeat back what he heard. Refuses to acknowledge that he heard NOTHING. Just assumes he knows. Screws up. Says it’s not his fault, he didn’t hear. Oh yeah, has $6k hearing aids he wore three weeks before quitting. Then blamed his wife for not having any money to spend on a bicycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 01:14 AM
48

“I don’t date but my friends get the best women”. I mean beyond his repulsiveness, does he just expect them to show up on his doorstep? 😂 That’s like complaining you don’t win the lottery despite never purchasing a ticket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:56 PM
14

They would be better shoppers and wouldn’t lose shit around the house if they were truly visual creatures. My ex couldn’t even pick up the right product if I texted him a photo and specified the details
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:40 PM
11

WTF is he messaging if he “doesn’t deal with base chicks like you”? Idiot can’t help mansplain your feelings to you. Makes it clear what an a$$ he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 12:43 AM
2

TBH a lot of people suck at communication so working on that seems wise. IF both parties fully engage. It should start before the wedding too. Anything else is b.s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 12:41 AM
21

No. I’m 46 and I completely agree. I’m glad I’ve got my two kids and glad I’m done with the b.s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 05:25 AM
4

I’m pretty danged impressed with your response. It’s even better it was automatic!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:28 AM
17

This seals it. I am definitely buying the punching bag from the sports resale shop tomorrow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 02:51 AM
53

46 here. No interest in another man. I don’t feel like adapting to another person. I’ve never had sex so good it was worth this much trouble.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 04:32 AM
4

I love this! I’m still watching romantic crap but all I can think about is the toxic behaviors. Occasionally there’s a high value behavior but it’s immediately followed by something low value. It’s crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 03:31 AM
11

He doesn’t even make sense in his own arguments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:03 AM
14

That is creepy as hell. Abusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 12:54 AM
43

Mature = messaged me first and spoke. Reinforcing that his standards are in the toilet. He only thinks he has to speak to be mature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:28 AM
51

I dated a nice enough guy in college. Just wasn’t really clicking though. I left for a year abroad and when I came back, ran into him. He’d started dating an Indian woman and they were planning their wedding. It dawned on me that one reason it didn’t “click” with us is because in my parents’ relationship my mom is the dominant personality. In his parents’ relationship it was his dad - in a BIG way, like very traditional submissive wife. Would never have worked with us. Now he has a wife who is l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:50 AM
26

So basically himself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:43 AM
5

My mother thinks I’m shit because my husband walked out on me. She can’t make up her mind if it’s my fault for kicking him out (I didn’t) or my fault for being a bitch (hello, pot, kettle here - and I am definitely less bitchy than her). Meanwhile his therapist to him: “If you don’t talk, there’s a cycle here” Just because he’s better than Dad doesn’t make him a peach, Mom. And I am not apologizing for being an adult and creating my own happiness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 10:39 PM
20

That’s an excellent idea. I feel like the list of things to vet for is too long for me. I’ll have to take notes for my daughter because men just aren’t worth anymore of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:17 AM
5

OH MY GOD what IS IT with doors not being closed??!!! My ex closed doors when he was single, THEN WE GOT MARRIED AND IT WENT TO HELL. He was THIRTY FOUR YEARS OLD and he suddenly lost all ability to close a door. Like I don’t even know how to vet for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:15 AM
6

When I found this thread the words on the picture didn’t show up, it was a blank screen. I thought that was a commentary on lack of a life 😂. Umm his breath shouldn’t be bad, that’s not aging, that’s poor dental care 🤢.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:11 AM
30

I thought she said “pornocrappies” 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 03:50 AM
2

“They die” is the lamest ass excuse I’ve ever heard. My LVM gave me a gardenia plant one year, and an orchid plant another year. Besides which it’s your freaking gift, not his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:06 AM
35

Don’t post your runs publicly. Why would you do that? I don’t understand the urge. I like to map them but keep them private.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:47 AM
1

The world’s tiniest violin predates Reservoir Dogs FWIW. Takes me back to grade school (80s)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:46 AM
10

Sounds like he runs the red flag factory!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:37 AM
8

Sounds like someone who doesn’t know how to take care of anything. My kids outgrew that years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 12:34 AM
43

I’d say the time and skill required to make them, and the longevity of origami roses makes it a high quality effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 12:44 AM
10

She needs to look up the definition of “consummation”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:17 PM
54

She should “unnecessarily react” all the way to court. I would love to see her document the abuse and take him to the cleaner’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 11:25 PM
3

Excellent! Exercise plus other people may help boost your mood. Sounds like a smart move!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 11:15 PM
5

What kind of a pet would you prefer if you had one? Are you able to have any kind of a pet right now? I know one of the things that keeps me happy is developing a plan. Basically hope stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain. I have some very specific hobbies with animals which require a lot of planning and work. Tonight I’ll have another training session I’ve been looking forward to for example. And playing Pokemon Go from home by finding online raid groups to join. The pursuit of a goal, h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 11:09 PM
3

Can local domestic violence hotlines offer locally applicable advice for these situations? Would be worth a call. Unless you have funds for an attorney, in which case I’d get one ASAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 11:04 PM
50

Exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 06:43 PM
65

I can see if they shared a mutual distaste for the diamond industry, or were saving hard for a home or early retirement - but him spending bank on himself but not her is a major red flag. Not worth arguing. Just leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:41 PM
2

Sheesh I’d block him for “they peace”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 03:24 AM
24

She has loads of rights outside of marriage here. Her mistake was entering a contract with him AT ALL. She needs to lawyer up immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:06 AM
7

LOL she’ll congratulate you for your position early in the vid. You’ll like what she says!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:04 AM
4

R. U. N. !!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 08:57 PM
36

Wow....that does reflect what I see with my ex and his mom. He resented her for no reason I could tell and came to resent me the same way. He blames his own shortcomings on the woman closest to him. It’s NOT my job to create your social agenda, dude. Your perceived “isolation” isn’t because of me, it’s because you won’t get off your butt and your phone and initiate ANYTHING. We even have a teenager who can watch his little sister and do it well and happily, and qualified petsitters to free us fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 08:55 PM
11

That was hilarious!!! Thank you for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 03:25 PM
2

W. T. F. This would make a heckuva psychology case report! But on that note, EVERY SINGLE show I have seen since finding this sub has a woman saving a man from himself. It makes me want to vomit; I’m eyerolling so much it makes me motion sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 02:09 AM
30

Believe it. Explains the young guy I went out with who couldn’t get it up. Ever. He’d been single forever (was mid 30s).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 01:25 AM
16

I mean, why do people lock their doors? Where is this culture of fear? I’m not saying crime doesn’t happen, but what’s with this culture of fear associated with property ownership? It’s all reinforced because someone poor needed to eat or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:41 PM
21

I don’t suppose “climate of fear” has anything to do with the rampant victim blaming in our society for centuries or millennia, does it? Hmm? 🧐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:39 PM
-2

I do have one set of friends (neighbors) married as long as she was old when they met (m 15 yrs, met when she was 15) when he was early 30s. He says he was just that immature. I didn’t see any evidence of issues, their oldest child was in 5th or 6th grade....but most of the time I think this is BAD NEWS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:36 PM
7

Single men? ......{crickets} ..... probably zero. Misogyny strong in my generation. Married? Possibly a handful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:33 PM
8

I’m not sure I’ve ever met a man who’s not this way, TBH, and I’m 46. At least amongst those I have a personal relationship with. I do know some men who behave perfectly decently and respectfully towards me and other women, who are also happily married older men fwiw. They might be different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:30 PM
5

I’m not saying any of us should wait. I’m saying she has extremely different circumstances than us. Personally I would despise being in her position. I’m 46 and securely in the single-for-rest-of-my-life camp. But accepting a proposal before you’re ready? Just as not cool as waiting for a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 03:51 PM
25

Kate could have chosen to wait because life is a lot freer before joining the monarchy. Maybe she wanted a chance to live a little before commitment. There’s a lot you can’t see from here in the cheap seats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 02:29 PM
3

You go, fine lady! Focus on your strength (mental, emotional, physical) and building it up, not the pounds. Best the best you FOR you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:29 AM
22

He left and seemed disappointed I didn’t want to “try”. Like I’d been trying to ten years. Whatever. I’m ready to be single the next half of my life (46 now). Took advantage of Valentine’s Day sales and purchased myself a couple of beautiful rings. He always bought me earrings and necklaces, even though I never wear those.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 11:45 PM
50

Yes. Why is it my job to take care of MIL birthday and Christmas? I barely know the woman. Also not my job to invite her to visit, or to arrange visits to her. Get off your butt and do it yourself. “I didn’t realize how isolated I’ve become” he said. “I can place a lot of that blame on myself”. NO KIDDING SHERLOCK! Stop blaming me. It’s called laziness. Inertia if you want to be fancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 07:30 PM
3

I don’t know that I have a hard minimum, though high school absolutely required I guess. I need evidence of a brain, logical thought, and reasonably open mind. Conservative koolaid drinkers need not apply. I need someone smart enough to see through Trump’s charade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:58 PM
6

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 02:26 AM
111

“Old Mommy, New Mommy wants me to grow up and act like an adult and I don’t wanna wawawawawa.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 05:45 PM
31

Because doctors ignore and discount us. Live long enough and you’ll know women who die from treatable diseases who sought medical advice but were blown off. A friend lost his wife to a brain tumor because her worsening migraines were attributed to “female problems”. By the time a physician (female) listened, it was too advanced and surgery was unsuccessful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 05:07 PM
7

Good job!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:43 PM
47

If you have to tell him, it’s not worth it. You run a real risk of him proposing and marrying you just to please you, then being angry he did later. BTDT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:34 PM
28

Pphhssshhhh who thinks these “gentlemen” have any idea what a real HVM is?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:02 AM
19

What. Happened. To. Me. He’s so messed up he didn’t think about HIS DAUGHTER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 01:44 AM
26

Yes. There are. I have been moving on the spectrum gradually over the years. I was a horrible pickme at first. With age I’ve moved towards less so. At the moment I might be more extreme anti-pick me. Like still wearing my wedding band as a stay-away signal, and anti-evil talisman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 07:23 PM
28

If these jerks had a brain they’d notice the constant bugging turns us off even more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 07:08 PM
12

He must be watching porn and confusing it with reality. I know literally no women who’ve participated in an orgy or a gangbang that wasn’t rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:56 PM
21

Retrospectively, I’m sure it was porn that ruined a potential relationship of mine with a guy only about five years older than me who was frankly probably a virgin at nearly 40. He had ED and Viagra didn’t help. Now I know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 07:28 PM
4

People who use hurt as a reason to hurt others are toxic and need to learn to deal with their hurt appropriately. My mom is an example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:59 PM
130

Some of these people may even be your parents. Strong women raised to be pickmes who are essentially jealous you don’t want to put up with the b.s. and act like you’re a horrible person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:39 PM
12

Who would promptly teach you how!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:42 AM
5

WTF. I wouldn’t exchange sexual favors for anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:41 AM
5

Only on one side, because on the other side we have strong bossy women despite their pickme upbringing. My mom’s completely toxic from the diconnect between the two, though so I peaced out on her and the older of my two younger brothers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:40 AM
26

Perusing OLD once recently (looking only, have not activated my profile), I ran across a “if you voted for Trump move on” and it almost made me want to say hi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:36 AM
33

They were white. Think it’s a coincidence? Doubt it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:34 AM
15

Some of those women (I know some) are pumping because their baby can’t latch properly/nurse properly/focus on eating/isn’t gaining weight (so they “triple feed”) etc. and they’re still trying to use breast milk, by their choice (I’m in a large mom group where we frequently tell younger moms it’s OK to give up breastfeeding if it is too much stress for them)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 08:12 PM
4

I’m over here ROTFLMAO at his statements. Joker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 08:08 PM
18

Every single part of this saga is horrifying. Society fails girls and women utterly and completely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 08:48 PM
39

Does he not consider public transportation instead of a garage? It sounds like she’s making smarter use of her $ as well as making more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 08:30 PM
119

Yes he’s making fun of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:19 PM
34

My husband of ten years never took a photo of me. WTF did I ever marry him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:58 AM
2

Some years I tie my tree to the wall with fishing line. And the ornaments must attach higher on the branches with wire twist ties in my house or they don’t stay. Sometimes even then....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:52 AM
4

I adore orange kittens. Word of warning; they can be ORNERY!!! But I love them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 05:12 PM
11

“I hate myself” yeah buddy right there is reason enough no sane woman would want you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:24 PM
11

Trades. Plumbing, electrical for example. Then start your own business. You get paid while you learn instead of incurring debt and then you have a skill of serious value. Another option is real estate sales if you’re good with people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:20 PM
12

Classic midlife crisis, wants to redo his teenage years. Can’t handle being mature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:19 PM
14

I greatly appreciate you sharing your story. My ex didn’t cheat in the sense of another woman, but he focused his anger on communications with others. Like his family. And eventually mine. His phone was locked and I didn’t get the code. It’s a bad thing regardless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 04:58 AM
12

Because she’s already got a kid and knows she doesn’t need another? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 03:25 AM
8

Yep. BTDT. He acted supportive....is what I told myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 01:39 AM
5

This was my mistake 12 years ago. On the plus side I adore my daughter, a true mini me, which I got from the deal. But I should have known back then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 12:01 AM
10

That’s all so tragic. I’m sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:38 AM
17

Be on the takeaway 😂😂😂 that’s fine, I require a MIL with grammar and spelling skills!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 02:22 AM
30

They treated you horribly and created more monsters at the same time. I wonder if any of your female cousins recognize what it was or if they ate perpetuating the abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 01:30 AM
8

My LVM masquerading as a HVM left me, to himself he’s blaming me but honestly (and his therapist sees this too), he’s been lying to everyone for years and still doesn’t have the self awareness or courage to admit his mistakes to anyone. He was withholding any sort of emotional availability the whole time and leaching energy from me but he lied to my parents and claimed I “wasn’t trying”. Nobody can work in a vacuum though and that’s what he is. Now when I carry the chore load it’s for me and onl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 01:13 AM
63

They confuse dating with prostitution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 01:00 AM
8

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 What a loser!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 08:42 PM
3

Well some men obviously do, these ones are just disgusting. My LVM ex with some HV characteristics never misses and definitely sits down sometimes. He also kneels in front to prevent splashing. Edit to add: he also lowers not just the seat but the lid so the dogs don’t drink out of it, because that grosses him out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 05:53 PM
8

You have done very well! This makes my heart happy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:06 PM
20

Yeah but this moron didn’t even believe his friend who had a penis, who also thought he was wrong to even approach them let alone stay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:31 PM
14

There’s a reason women evolved to live for so long after childbearing years. We’re the only species who does. It gives a survival benefit to society. Society needs us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:26 PM
0

He oughta go buy more damn spoons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 12:58 AM
-7

So, this (or a nearly identical version) was posted in a hunting group I’m in. This isn’t always a bad or trashy gift depending on the relationship. It’s not for me, but to the right crowd this isn’t necessarily low value. Some of these guys really do end up treating their wives right. And there’s a whole lotta women in that group who brook NO shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 12:55 AM
25

His word choice is SO perfect! She’s less likely to put up with trash long term because she knows she can do better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:13 PM
14

So she won’t have to do the work of leaving. She knows the truth and doesn’t want to believe it. She will have to grieve the relationship she thought she had
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 07:00 AM
34

When I was much younger (college aged, I’m 46 now), one of my friends’ mothers told us we needed to do these things because men had to be babied. I thought it was bullshit. Later I found myself doing these things for my second husband and I made the mistake of thinking he was worth it. He was higher value than my first husband and better than a lot of men, but.....he did not reciprocate with maturity in the relationship, and he pretty much immediately blamed me for everything if I ever dipped on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 04:20 AM
1

My bet one from another country, too, making it harder to track/prosecute. Weird English pointing tl a second language and not one who’s learning English here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 12:34 AM
6

Oh, good heavens! You did not lead him on, no. He just wasn’t nearly as good as you thought. You tried to set him up for success he refused. Not your fault at all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 11:55 PM
15

You aren’t sad over him, you’re sad over what you wanted him to be. He failed badly and you’re grieving. This is normal. There are stages you’ll have to go through and they will suck. The anxiety you’re dealing with is telling you lies. I hope you’re continuing to get treatment for it ❤️. You are leveling up. Keep up the good work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 11:32 PM
5

If the jerks wouldn’t buy too large of condoms they could wear them. And NEVER trust a man who doesn’t insist on a condom. Makes them 100% more likely to be infected and transmit something to you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:45 PM
29

So, so true. Less work. More cuddles esp without expectations. And I have yet to meet a man who can give me orgasms better than the ones I can give myself. They have to lie to themselves to make them seem worthwhile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:40 PM
29

I worked as a CNA in college. Those older ladies almost never want a man. I say almost because I assume there’s one somewhere who did, but I did temp work for a few years so I met a lotta them who didn’t! My late grandmother ended up being one of that crowd, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:06 AM
7

Congrats on clearing him out of your life! You’re definitely on the road up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:04 AM
8

Doesn’t like animals. Isn’t very tolerant. Creepy about how he likes animals. Lacks a career. Sits around and drinks/games/plays on phone/any other time waster. Doesn’t ask me about my day. Doesn’t hear/listen to my answer. Dirty house. Doesn’t cook well. Conservative politics. Catholic. Voted for Trump. Homophobic. Hasn’t read a book recently. Watches porn (that’s a new one, back when I was younger porn wasn’t as horrific as it is now). Hasn’t got health insurance. Hasn’t got a retirement plan.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:44 AM
7

“Normal” issue of fat hiding penis? Geez not in anyone I’ve ever seen. And no mention of effort to work on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:27 AM
16

Yes. And they tell you to “prove” it to them when they have no interest in critical thinking, they’re just full of confirmation bias.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 03:45 PM
9

Is it just my impression of my ex from Mississippi that this is worse in the South (on average)? Because there were some huge differences between his mom and the women in my family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 08:15 AM
3

My second ex was disowned (collectively, with his mother and sister) by his dad at age ten over a serious religious difference between his parents. I’m sure that’s part of his issues, which involve not knowing what he wants in life, paralysis (inaction), and no interest in the discussion and compromise that marriage is. And he must have had a serious bout of pickmeisha himself when we were dating, because he married me despite all of this - I think he should have known better but thought I was a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 08:14 AM
0

Even when the ones who try really try, some of them get overwhelmed in the store. It took several repeats of my ex buying the wrong thing before he’d consistently get grocery shopping right. I’d send photos via text and he would still sometimes pick the wrong thing that was off in color by a bit or had the wrong words on it so was technically completely different (like shampoo variations in the same brand).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 07:38 AM
22

There’s a reason many MUCH older women from a very different time have told younger women to have their own secret cash stash. It’s because of what you don’t know. Humans are too variable to reliably predict this behavior change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:48 AM
74

I’d say level of maturity, but she’s still likely more mature than him AND she’ll continue to mature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:59 PM
2

I discovered (via Facebook) a local startup store which specializes in it so that’s how I made some decisions to commit. I did a bit of Googling first and read a few things. A five gallon bucket, aquarium air pump/stone/tubing, a net basket cover for the bucket, some porous stone substrate the store carried, and the general purpose hydroponics “fertilizer” (I got powder, it also comes as liquid), and a basil plant I gently washed all the dirt off the roots. And a fluorescent grow bulb which I ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 06:37 AM
42

Also burnout, resentment, and perpetuating the cycle in future generations. Moms need to meet their own needs too, and not let anyone take them for granted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:49 AM
6

Right now just basil, greens starting next week. My dream is tomatoes, because my backyard is too shady and I have septia leaf spot issues, but we’ll see. I hear they’re hard. It’s kind of exciting!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:46 AM
23

I have had guys in bars when I was young decide that because I smiled at them and danced with them once that made me their gf. So creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 01:02 AM
17

And it’s a “maybe learn someday” which equals just lazy. If he wanted to do this for real, he’d already be doing it in his spare time. Some of us who like that sort of thing do it while working. I started a hydroponics system in my basement, have chicken and ducks in my backyard and hunt multiple days a week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 12:56 AM
9

Haha. Dude has NO IDEA how much work it is to survive off the land. I vote she sent him to BFE and when he’s got it all figured out he can holla for his gf. And not a moment sooner. Bet it takes him a month to give up. Loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 12:49 AM
3

Nah honey, those potential spouses were just as trash as the guys you let knock you up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 12:45 AM
8

Act like a child, be treated like one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 02:18 PM
24

OK even 25 years ago I’d have blocked him at the first mention he didn’t like dogs, and I was still a real pickmeisha then. I was in vet school (a senior) and some dude on a date said “you’re not going to have more in this house when this one dies are you?” Uh yeah dude, of course I am. WTF are you dating a vet student for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 01:55 AM
112

Last year I went on a decluttering spree about this time. My LVM husband didn’t show any positivity about it even though he hated the clutter. Now he’s gone and I’ve been working on more decluttering (I’m 46 and an information hoarder so a lot has built up) on the “progress not perfection” mantra. Yesterday it was three armloads of old magazines to recycling and three king sized fitted sheets with rips plus odds and ends. And my wedding dress. Wonder what it will be today.....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 06:12 PM
120

That’s hella creepy. Please tell me you did or can help that girl understand what a bad idea it is for her. Or better yet that she already knows. Agree it’s not worth dating. Find some new hobbies instead, hang with people that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 05:12 AM
2

Yeah I’ve reached the limits of my memory from college journalism. Pretty sure most of the time the plaintiff has the burden of proof though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 07:21 PM
3

Way to go!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 07:03 PM
5

For most people, the knowledge that what you say is false and the intent to do harm are components of proving slander. If you’re a public figure the rules are slightly different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 07:00 PM
14

3 months is the longest he’s ever been able to keep a woman. He just pretends it was his choice to end it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 06:59 PM
41

Not a pet, strictly a working relationship (with the exception of the harris hawk, raptors are not social creatures). I heard about it first when I volunteered at a zoo in college. After college I met a local falconer and she let me hang out with her for a while. Later after my son started middle school I jumped at my chance to begin. It was definitely a factor in the end of my marriage (even though it took five more years) because my LVM husband was extremely bothered by this activity. He behav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 06:57 PM
43

I have some who are falconers like me. They’re older than me, polite, don’t discuss sexual stuff in get togethers despite it being a heavily male environment, have been married a long time, and respect my professional knowledge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 06:29 PM
39

He. Expected. Them. To. Deliver. His. Belongings. I mean I’d feel sorry for them for the shit judgement, but let’s be honest. They let him become like this. Maybe not all of the porn part but this ridiculous entitlement is on them. My parents didn’t treat my brothers that way nor me. “Get this out or I’m throwing it away”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:03 AM
28

Ugh. Sounds like my ex. He turned out to not be interested in the compromises that come with marriage. He couldn’t figure out what he wanted. We even lived together first. Complete jerk behavior from men-children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:47 PM
7

Spending money will not fix him. Only he can fix him and no one else’s money will help. Poor daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 11:17 PM
8

The claims in this one are b.s. Abortion is NOT so easy to access, birth control is NOT so easy to access, rape is EXTREMELY common, and rapists sometimes have legal rights to the baby! If ONLY women had it so “easy”. Idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 07:44 PM
13

Return it all and buy what you like. Including the man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:52 PM
15

It’s good you’re asking these questions. It sounds like you’re making progress, and recognizing that he has these limitations is part of your progress. I think you can do better. Both of your concerns are telling. I wasted 13 years with a man who couldn’t talk about those things. He just ended up mad at me because he couldn’t recognize his own feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:41 AM
2

Haha. I also require a man who can form proper sentences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 10:05 PM
8

My ex’s father was Muslim and his mother Christian. One day he decided he needed to become a more devout Muslim (to advance in his government position) and needed to take a second wife. I’d say based on this dude’s history I’d def bail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:18 PM
2

For crimes? ALL the censorship power, duh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 08:24 PM
35

The sooner you get out the better. What a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:58 AM
3

1 and 3 are legit components, 2 is meh. I wouldn’t purposefully induce 3, just wait until you’ve seen it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:39 AM
9

I’d just say that “good school” nowadays translates tl massive student loan debt....some guys who are going into trades have more earning potential (no debt, entrepreneurship more common). So don’t look at a major as future bank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 11:31 PM
13

They’re lying about their age. It’s beyond ridiculous how common the lies are. When I was dating before my ex I ran into a bunch of them. Now when I have perused OLD (have not gone live, not worth my time), there are guys obviously 65+ who are down as being 45. Like dude, I’m super prematurely gray because of my grandpa (he was totally gray at 18), and you’re clearly WAY older than me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 06:53 PM
7

I gave my ex an ultimatum. He responded with a proposal. That didn't end well and it took 13 years of him faking being marriage material. Had a lot of decent qualities (higher on the quality scale than many men, so I've forgiven myself for being a pickmeisha because at least I wasn't *as bad* as I used to be, I ghosted a LOT of men before him) but didn't know himself well enough to make himself happy and chose to focus being angry about it on me. If he needs an ultimatum he isn't good enough. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:25 PM
11

I'm sorry for the trauma you experienced. I'm sorry for how society treats women who've been raped. It should be her choice regardless. The laws shouldn't allow the rapist any rights to the baby but should force financial reparations regardless of which she chooses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:06 PM
9

Yes, you'd be a trash person for leaving or holding it against the child. Get yourself some therapy and stop this b.s. I'm so sick of men being so damn sensitive and emotional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:00 PM
4

My 16 year old son could do better than this on a picnic with his gf. Is that battered chicken on a paper pamphlet???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:45 PM
11

There is wide variation amongst Americans. Some of us go overboard and others are much more reserved in their gift-giving. I don't think we have any stats but I know multiple families on both ends of the spectrum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:43 PM
5

Good. Grief. !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:48 AM
1

Fabulous job!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:33 AM
5

This includes mothers, for those of us with toxic mothers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:29 AM
28

I wonder how many women that judge has assaulted outside of his courtroom over the years. I consider this sexual assault in the courtroom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 02:23 AM
266

I have friends in their mid 50s. They’ve been married over 20 years. He does all of the little things, and the big ones. Like fighting with the insurance company and managing the paperwork when she was in kidney failure, and insisting on donating a kidney to her. He doesn’t hold it over her head, either. He expresses gratefulness that he still has her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 11:37 PM
27

My ex walked out on me one day without warning. His internalized anger addiction caused him to develop a deep hatred of me. My mother chose to yell at me for making all of the mistakes and “not even trying” and “having anger issues” (barging into my house and yelling these things at me....projection) and “lots of women put up with more” and “I don’t know how good I had it”. Like listen here bitch, I didn’t get a choice in this. He never said he was unhappy he just got cold and ignored me progres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:28 AM
52

We must be aware that spending money on you isn’t enough. Some men are good at playing like they’ll work hard until after the wedding, then it eventually comes out that they’re all talk and no follow through - way worse after the wedding. That was my first ex husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:14 AM
46

Technically you can have a PhD in a medical science as well, the MD is for practicing medicine. So some folks are MD PhDs in their fields.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:08 AM
9

Yes. A colposcopy they don’t generally sedate you for. The colonoscopy requires gas dilation of the colon and even the men realize that’s excruciatingly painful (intestines’ only pain receptors are for stretch which is why gas pains are so painful).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:06 AM
27

Even if he isn’t a player, (which is entirely possible in a 35+ y/o never married man, my husband of 10 yrs was one), he isn’t worth marrying IMO. Men don’t continue maturing. They just get silent and pretend. Then years later they’re angry you didn’t conform to their unspoken expectations. Which they still can’t speak. And they have developed zero skills in even being a roommate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 12:16 AM
32

I see your pap smear and raise you a colposcopy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:50 PM
9

My ex put a hole in a wall and a hole in a door early in our marriage. But I’m the one he claims has an anger management problem. Totally projection. His therapist told him in front of me “just because she’s angry doesn’t mean she has an anger management problem”. The difference between us is I communicate my anger with words and he lets it stew until he explodes. Oh and I get angry over normal things. He makes up weird shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 11:48 PM
5

Ugh. Husbands SO MUCH DRAIN. Mine was almost nothing but a drain, though he wasn’t a financial suck so at least there’s that. My teenager turned a corner a few months ago so I’m enjoying him again. My daughter is a preteen so we’re about to go through a painful phase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 09:39 PM
3

News flash. No abused wife is happy. She only pretends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 09:29 PM
3

“I am appalled your supposedly Christian husband looks at a teenager sexually. Find yourselves a new sitter. I’m scared for my safety.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:52 PM
3

Be the bigger person? He’s still alive, isn’t he? FFS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:48 PM
84

Yes. My first thought was “well it’s a start”. But online payment systems are so common guys will just revert to their bank account through one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 03:27 PM
2

Well grammar certainly isn’t one of his qualifications. The annoying humping Labrador from the local shelter is a more attractive date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 05:54 AM
13

I have absolutely heard stories of women OBGYNs who were horrible to their patients and some male OBGYNs who were good. I found a female who was excellent. She retired just after I had my second (and last) kid. I was lucky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 05:51 AM
5

Laser hair removal. On my wish list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 05:47 AM
5

It was a car accident he couldn’t avoid, and he ended up more injured than the child (he listened to his wife and adjusted the seat belt). Not a CPS situation. The headline’s misleading in that sense. It’s spot on that the wife shouldn’t call herself nagging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:57 PM
22

So not my personal experience, but some moms apparently are horribly sad at leaving their offspring behind to go to work. This statement is consistent with my friends like this. Personally I was glad to get a break.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:55 PM
42

My ex is a jet mechanic. He asked me one time why the microwave light wasn’t coming on. Ummm because you constantly leave the door open all night and it burned out. Duh. He was installing our new dishwasher once. Bitching and moaning, 3 trips to the hardware store later, complaining getting louder that there is no right part anywhere to connect it. I finally get involved (it pisses him off when I help). I opened the dishwasher Vanna White style in silence. Yep the parts he needed were inside the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:15 PM
9

Part of their reason for this response is because a) some people don’t realize that certain sexual activities count as sex enough to get you pregnant and b) people have straight up lied to them before. It’s ridiculously common in society, much like men who lie to your face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:00 AM
12

Dude, 7 ones aren’t 7 “figs”. Trash is lyin’.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:51 AM
33

“I’m trash, you should know that by now, deal with it.” Yes hon, by throwing his ass out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:51 PM
5

Oh, bless his heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:48 PM
39

Sometimes they actually get angry about it (women doing the thing), too. Like it upsets their precious balance of wasteful existence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:47 PM
1

There are def men who don’t spit. Even some LVM. Though in the running community you see both men and women spit but, that’s purely activity related
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:30 PM
6

Because the 16 year old is already more mature than the MGTOW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:28 PM
16

Genius!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:19 PM
5

Dang. I hadn’t heard of anger addiction before but that sounds exactly like what my ex has. And I think his therapist spotted it quickly because when we went for a joint session it felt like she was COMPLETELY on my side. This LVM has been bitching in secret to his family on his phone and never bringing up to me any concerns. It turned into full-on hate. Thank you for teaching me this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:18 PM
9

Means he’s cheating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:04 PM
20

They arrested him the same night. I hope he stays in prison for good. Otherwise, she has a lot of friends with pet pigs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 01:34 AM
41

That is a dangerous personality. I had a friend who was murdered by her husband just over a month ago. He was like that. She thought she could handle him. He gave her a severe head injury and waited hours to call for help then tried to pass it off as an accident.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 11:38 PM
12

“Because I’m a childish, angry and low confidence male who never learned basic decency.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 11:36 PM
24

And here I thought it was because the dogs are more reliable and more affectionate and more attentive than the men, LOL. The upsides just don’t stop. My hunting puppy has been bringing me “treasures”. I frowned at the ornament and returned it to the tree while ignoring her. She brought me an item that fell on the floor and I gave her a treat. That’s all it took to teach her what to leave alone and what to bring me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:44 AM
25

IF you’re under 18????? What % if their readership is OVER 18????? Sexting is NEVER a good idea. Those idiot males share those messages no matter WHAT they say!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:09 AM
26

Isn’t that ILLEGAL????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:07 AM
78

Amen on the cowards with no comm skills. That one caught me out big time. Pro tip: don’t give him an ultimatum. Just leave. Save yourself the 12 years I wasted after he responded with a proposal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:05 AM
19

My first ex husband I left. Waited to leave until I decided I’d rather be alone forever than stay with him. Wasn’t as bad a pickmeisha after that, but still had my standards set too low. The idiot I’ve been married to ten years now left like four other times after we got married. This time he’s not allowed back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 11:25 PM
12

145 is the weight she’d be if she lost the 30# she was talking about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:20 AM
59

Hey...he did Google it two weeks ago.....doesn’t that count for something!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 02:45 AM
4

Agree
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 01:23 AM
35

Her husband is an ass if he’s taking the time to work out every day while she does all of the work at home. Losing weight while maintaining a milk supply is not always even possible! A lot of times maintaining a supply means keeping up the calories. And 145 on 5’9” sounds SKINNY as hell. He is being completely disrepectful to HER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 01:07 AM
3

It’s not a word I use. But to me this is like Black folks calling each other the n word, which is NEVER ok for a white person to do. It’s never OK for a man to call a woman that, but if some women are ok with using it to each other then that’s their prerogative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 11:33 PM
19

Good. Grief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 04:15 AM
2

A local jewelry shop where I could put one on layaway is what I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 03:32 AM
79

Modern medicine is amazing. And leveling up doesn’t require good health. It gives you a good reason to focus on yourself. Being a bad bitch doesn’t mean that you modify yourself to attract men. It means you be the best you, and right now she needs specific care. She needs you to not give up on her. Let go of worrying about a man. The man is not the end game. You are!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 03:12 AM
7

His therapist, a licensed professional, can’t figure him out. He doesn’t know himself. This goes way beyond being gay or a virgin. Those are not pathologic states. He is a pathologic continent all by himself. Block him He’s not a good friend. You’re just trying to fix something that can’t be fixed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 01:03 AM
16

When my ex left me (he never voiced his opinions and blamed me for not meeting his expectations, which beyond “why do you have so many animals” he couldn’t even voice to his therapist.....animals 100% worth more than him emotionally), my mom decided it was all my fault and loudly and angrily begins blaming me for....having anger management issues. Says the woman shouting contradictory accusations to her daughter without ever having asked her daughter’s side of things. I told her to f4&$ off. It …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 11:08 PM
75

Chickens, ladies. Get yourselves a yard and chickens. They rock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 10:46 PM
117

.....then perhaps he should motivate himself to grocery shop and cook, eh? I make an equal amount of $$$ and I get home later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 10:44 PM
81

Yes. The hotter they are the more narcissistic. I saw a profile for a therapist and immediately thought he’s probably a fascinatingly screwed up patient himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 10:41 PM
7

Her mistake is letting him stay at all. What a loser he is. She’s making progress though as long as she sticks to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 09:25 PM
1

Quite telling that your opinion on the cause of the marriage failing is entirely the fault of the woman and not the man. 1950s much?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 07:41 PM
3

Not even getting married and he expects her to change her name? And the chidlrens’???? Narcissist. RUN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 06:52 AM
6

Yes huge mistake was thinking we liked the man back then. Lessons learnt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:52 AM
4

Sensual porn. Is that watching a show of a man both cooking and cleaning properly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 08:56 PM
64

This is the only safe option IMO. My daughter is 9. It’s theoretically possible I might date, but not a chance I’m bringing someone home. Not even for an hour. If she’s grown and has her own place, maybe then. Maybe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 08:53 PM
20

Some of us felt the child was worth the pregnancy, then ditched the man and kept the kid. No regrets on having the kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 08:50 PM
6

Yeah, and besides not being “allowed”, IME you don’t want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 08:48 PM
9

Newsflash, scrote; if your account is $200 in the red, you didn’t actually pay the cable bill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 07:11 AM
9

What. An. A$&. Holy cow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 07:03 AM
7

That makes me think of my STBX in a different light. On the one hand we could discuss a lot of things and agree, but what did he ever really give me for support? Nothing, honestly. What the heck was I thinking?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 06:53 AM
7

You made the right decision to break up with him. His behavior was completely unreasonable and a huge red flag, let alone after you told him how you felt. He’s trash. You deserve better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 03:41 AM
44

I tried too many times with my ex. Wasn’t worth it. Didn’t bother to try the last time. Much better choice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 02:44 AM
4

This is where I’m at with the end of my ten year marriage. In retrospect he had no business getting married because he doesn’t understand himself (and never will, mid 40s), gives up easily on himself and blames it on others. My daughter’s 9. No way I’m risking another man around her before she leaves for college. But my marriage prepared me to be alone, because most of the time it was pretty lonely. Sometimes it wasn’t and that was nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 06:11 AM
2

Ugh. Don’t marry a man assuming he’ll change. That is super weird how attached he is to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:12 AM
19

Poor kid needs some coaching on how to dump boys. She definitely NEEDS to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:09 AM
13

I’d be a raging bitch if I had to spend that much time with the kids those ages. That’s a normal age for parents to have high stress levels but HVM don’t deal with it by cheating. I’m glad she’s getting out. He’s a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:34 AM
51

I’m concerned he was interested more in the possibility of exploiting your mental health. I’m glad he refused to see you. He is not the doctor for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:31 AM
49

They seem really unreasonably bothered by short hair. Like it gives women more strength than the man can handle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:23 AM
9

Mmmm I’d say if the sink was clean and the dishes were already clean and he just needed to return them to the cabinet. Then I’d laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:20 AM
4

I don’t even think I’ve recognized yet how extremely happy this makes me, because I’ve been holding my breath for so many days now waiting on the results. It’s like I’m still in “this is too good to be true” territory! I remember hoping Geraldine Ferraro would win 36 years ago. It’s taken far too long!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 10:06 PM
8

I have some men in my friends collection who are happy. Screw the rest of them! It doesn’t matter how “perfect” a woman is, most of them would make up a reason to hate her anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 10:03 PM
1

Because my interpretation of the comment was for the woman to walk out completely, as so many scrotes do. I’m totally fine with the mom being the one with weekend custody.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 06:21 AM
2

Agree
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 06:17 AM
11

The discussion was about abandoning them (leaving him a single father) I’m all about saying “I’m leaving the house this week. Y’all have fun.” Or “I’m gone for the next two hours hunting” as I did that regularly when I was still with scrote. I highly recommend it to all moms. I refuse to use the word “babysit” or anything similar when it comes to fathers. But women not abandoning their kids is not a savior complex. It’s human decency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 04:55 PM
33

The problem comes in it being harsh to your kids. I’m ALL about it being harsh to the men. But some people are too important to throw away just to teach a man a lesson. Kids are more valuable than the man. And I think you may be overestimating what these scrotes are capable of learning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 04:09 PM
33

This is my STBX. Pretending like he took the high road going along with me but was getting angrier inside all of the time for me not doing what he wanted. Which was secret, because he wouldn’t say. Also is still blaming me for things I have no control of because it’s more convenient than recognizing his own shortcomings. I’m happier with him gone. Soooooo much happier
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 06:20 PM
2

I voted. Our state allowed advanced voting by mail on request. It also allows our election office to count upon receipt. My vote has already been accepted by the office! A vote for basic human decency!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 04:10 AM
1

Dang. Every woodworker worth a darn would have thought long and hard about the choice of wood and the finish so you could, you know, clean it and have it last. So he didn’t even try on that crappy level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:49 AM
1

Run away. Don’t bother asking him. That just gets you ten years of effort (marriage) that ends with the realization he was just a L/NVM. Ask me how I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:45 AM
1

I’ve been making a point of praising my rule-follower daughter (9) for being persistent and sticking with hard things. For being strong and working hard. Not for being pretty or good. It sort of started out of necessity because she’d quit as soon as something was difficult but I decided to make a point of only praising attributes she can work on, which will serve her well throughout life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:59 AM
3

That’s exactly where I am, and I’m 46.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:44 AM
2

So it’s not just the family dog they act like this with? I guarantee their veterinarian has the same complaint. Scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 03:40 AM
12

A lot of men tell lies like that. I’ve had guys try to tell me they don’t need to use a condom because they just got tested. Uh-huh. Sure you did. Funny how I never saw the proof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 03:28 AM
1

The only thing I think you could do better is block his number. Way to stand up for yourself! 👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 05:08 PM
19

I’ve a cousin whose husband lost like 100# before he got the nerve to ask her out. They’ve been married like 35 years now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 09:18 PM
2

I changed mine and have regretted it ever since. Now it’s entirely too much work to want to change it back. On the hyphenation side, I know of a married professional couple where the man hyphenated his name just like his wife did hers. I think that’s a cool idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:51 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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