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dkwantsdk Archive

View 9 posts and 721 comments by dkwantsdk on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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37

It's different because one is a choice that is informed by cultural expectation to feminine norms and the other one is encouraging you to consider where that choice comes from and challenge it. Not shaving is not the norm and not culturally acceptable. Do not pretend that they are the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 08:44 AM
14

Yup. This is straight misogynoir. This is a black woman being respected and adored by her husband and they are furious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 06:46 PM
19

This asshole? He hasn't been relevant since the Bush years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 04:35 AM
5

Exactly. I also have ADHD. You and I know better than anyone that it can be hard to do the things we want to do, yet we can still show up for the people we love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 04:24 AM
7

This nuance is lost on people. Notice our detractors will always call us out as being ableist because our standards don't accommodate men or their excuses. It's very informative to see the expectation that the often trotted out "he has ADHD/depression!" is supposed to be accepted without question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:26 PM
2

It's so bad, I've actually thanked male friends for making the effort to be gorgeous. It's always men who are married and 40+ and are being beautiful with nothing to gain in finding a mate. It's just so rare and i'm so grateful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 09:51 PM
5

The ultimate power that comes from this education is that you know you can give and receive love without falling apart when it doesn't work out because you know you're a survivor. You can take risks in relationships, friendships, and in your ambitions because you ultimately cannot fail. You will always have yourself to fall back on. You've learned that through fire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 09:09 PM
5

It's the best! You get clarity and become empowered to own your life and free to act in your best interests
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 09:01 PM
3

Is chasing unnatural beauty standards making women more vulnerable to unhealthy emotional states? Yes. To dig into how the white supremacist, capitalist patriarchy destroys women's bodies requires a deeply nuanced and intersectional discussion. This ain't it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 08:05 PM
10

HUGE red flag trying to get her off the app. Dont give your number to strangers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 07:28 PM
2

It's all projection. Never read male commentary as advice to follow but rather patriarchal propaganda.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 07:05 PM
60

The second hand embarrassment i'm feeling is physically painful. Holy shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 06:55 PM
25

This is exactly my life and it's wonderful. Life is a gift and providing for you family is the most fulfilling reward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 08:26 AM
9

Exactly this. Children learn how to treat women (as boys) and how to be treated by men (as girls) in a patriarchy by watching their fathers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 04:13 PM
17

I'm so sorry. I've been through this and it's so heartbreaking to realize that all those romantic gestures were just a complete lack of boundaries. It makes it hard to trust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 04:24 PM
13

I'm so excited for you!! I also restarted and recreated my life by moving across the country from my hometown 15 years ago. You are launching like a rocket ship to your dreams 🚀✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 04:21 PM
25

You picked yourself rather than arguing your worth with men determined to diminish it ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 04:15 PM
33

Life pro tip: Don't ever come to Reddit while eating 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 04:01 PM
5

I read the comments. Ho boy. Did he ever reveal his age??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:32 AM
9

Left right and moderate, in America is so jumbled up I don't know how to answer that one This guy is either living in 2004 or is intellectually lazy and conservative
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 03:44 AM
70

Want kind of communication style works best for a🥒?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 07:13 AM
55

This is exactly it. I love making the first move, planning dates, leading conversations, and spoiling the man I desire. I know this because that's how I've operated for years. But like everyone else here, we learned the hard way that it's a scam. Now we expect an initial investment, underwriting, registration, verification, and proof of returns before we assume any additional risks. Note btw that all the things the OP is complaining about having to do (and implying women will not for men), women…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 10:50 PM
38

Watch the lengths men will go to get a new xbox in the face of scalping, chip shortages, bots, supply chain issues, cost, and scarcity, and you will never misunderstand their effort in the face of desire again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 09:56 PM
36

Oh they know. They don't care. Think about their responses when women say not to hit on them at work or at the gym - "Well then how am I supposed to meet women???" Our comfort and desire is irrelevant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 09:44 PM
10

Mastectomy and breastfeeding photos are regularly flagged on places like Instagram and Facebook. Woman's breasts continue to only be acceptable when sexualized, consumable, and objectified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 06:30 AM
37

Unfortunately we do not have choice. Showing your nips is not inherently liberating. And covering them isn't either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 12:56 AM
849

Which nipple? The saggy ones? The old ones? The uneven ones? The fat ones? The ones with a baby hanging on it? The leaky ones? The removed ones? Let me know when the "free nipple" movement has grandma with her tits at her waist. Then we can talk empowerment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 10:53 PM
19

I've done Hot Iron/Body Pump on and off for years and it's a guarantee every time. It's so embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 10:35 PM
32

More like 30 feet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 10:30 PM
140

This is the worst timeline
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 02:15 AM
117

I yelled 😂💀💀💀🍔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 02:14 AM
17

I prefer the corn dog in a pinch. Shitty calories on a stick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 02:08 AM
62

warmed under a heat lamp all day gas station weiner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 10:36 PM
30

This is the sauce right here. The manosphere loves their fantasy of older men with high prestige jobs pulling in 20yo chicks. The reality is men get to those high paying prestige jobs by having a WIFE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 09:00 PM
13

There's an epidemic of men LYING Fixed it for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 08:56 PM
0

No don't down vote me! I love strong, successful 40-50yo men! Where they at?? Do you have an inside scoop? In 20 years across multiple industries I've never seen this dynamic let alone a plethora of middle aged hotties. It's a desert out here, and were left sharing the same Chris Evans memes to entertain ourselves in the office.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 08:16 AM
-1

This is such a hilarious fantasy I spit out my drink and woke up the baby. Omg. The reality is these women, as they age, have begun to see all the strong and successful men around them continue to thrive and prosper, but instead of sharing their lives with women their own age they date younger for a more fertile partner with less baggage. My chest hurts from laughing. Stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 07:06 AM
53

I've always assumed it's because they've always put themselves as the hero of their stories. We never are. So if things aren't going well, we adjust, adapt, & refocus. We have to to survive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 08:25 PM
97

"Deal with it" Creates woman focused communities. Educates fellow women on red flags and risks. Shares stories, resources, and advice. Encourages young women to prioritize their financial, emotional, and physical well being. Advocates for liberation from sexist oppression and exploitation. "No not like that!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 08:19 PM
22

Who he's supposed to be? And who is that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:42 PM
21

And now he'll feel joy every time he sees it on your wall! This is the joy of gift giving - shared pleasure and mutual happiness 💝 Thank you so much for sharing this story!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 06:04 PM
21

He apologized. Those are words. What are his actions? That tells you everything you need to know. To give you some perspective. Last year on my wedding anniversary, I left a heartfelt card and some thoughtful presents on my husband's wfh desk and then left for a rare day at the office. He didn't say anything to me all day! So I texted him and let him know how much that hurt my feelings. He apologized profusely, explained what had happened while making no excuses, and then MADE IT RIGHT. Immediat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 05:55 PM
5

Love it! I want to hang out with you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:58 AM
5

All the hobbies! Currently doing lots of science reading (just picked up a couple books by Feynman) to better understand quantum physics as a passion. Lots of singing through my choir and helping my daughter with her choir studies. Watercoloring in the evenings to relax. Rowing, weightlifting, cycling, and bjj to build strength and wrassle with fellow women. And I'm in multiple DnD games :D wrassling in real life and imaginary!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:57 AM
15

My favorite: "Oh yeah. Where's your man right now?" Uh, work? What?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 08:53 PM
48

Our discomfort is an annoyance (literally his words) to getting what they believe they are entitled to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 08:50 PM
149

This sounds cliche, but in 40 years using every makeup and face care brand out there, I've found that sound sleep melts the wrinkles away and a smile is the best makeup. Invest in those things and you'll always look amazing (also sunscreen :D)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 08:45 PM
10

Yes you are a pickme if your bar for a good relationship is being given the most popular food on the face of the earth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 05:35 PM
65

"However, this is pretty annoying" I'm dumb struck at the audacity. I need to take a walk after reading this. Incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 05:27 PM
205

This is why it's critical to say "no" early on. It breaks the spell of them pursuing their dream girl and forces them to interact with an actual human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 05:18 PM
42

He hasn't arranged anything. He said it's unlikely he'll be able to arrange anything so last minute. He also said that he is tired today. This is a great example of over sharing and should be an immediate red flag. 🚩 This can be hard to spot for many women because we have specifically been trained to be responsible for other people's feelings and to accommodate them. The reality is that there is NO REASON he should share this. Partially because he is a stranger but more importantly because it sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 08:58 PM
39

Wasting your time and energy includes beating yourself up for not having the right words in the moment or continuing interacting with a man who is clearly not interested. It's more important you catch yourself, adjust course, and learn from the experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 08:45 PM
73

The whining too 🤢 I'm tired. I'm lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 08:39 PM
10

Are you being polite, efficient, and helpful? That's the only chivalry I want, otherwise you're in the way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 04:36 AM
33

A mantra I repeat to myself every day : "You are not responsible for managing other people's feelings" <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 10:57 PM
20

An acceptable date is what makes you happy and feels good! Being non-traditional forces people to be creative. It's an auto-vet for the lazy and unoriginal and uninterested. This is a good thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 08:29 PM
35

Love the way you put this. Negative energy is a sign to immediately purge. Positive energy only into all the wonderful people and hobbies and LOVE that we have to share. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 08:24 PM
108

Right! Isn't the sex-negative cultural value to rush/coerce/manipulate women to sex and use her as a masterbation device? Sex positive would be to wait and develop that safety and trust w/o any rush to get into bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 08:17 PM
300

Hard disagree. This isn't a strategy, it's a mind game that only serves to waste your energy and stunt your relationship skills. It's one thing when it's a coworker or girl friend and you're parsing how much energy to put into a relationship that's uneven. If a guy is giving you low effort, drop him. If it's not a HELL YES, it's a no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 07:30 PM
55

I never post anything about my husband for this reason. I may post a picture of us together somewhere cool (on the Brooklyn Bridge, at Hamilton, our feet in the sand), but the only gushing I do is over my kids and that's just raw mom love! Look at them! They are so cute!! Something I realized in overcoming my codependency, my desire to "fix" my partner, and learning boundaries is that it's important to have privacy. Oversharing is a trauma response. Keep some things to yourself and between you a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 06:56 PM
275

struggle to land the girls you want/target Who the fuck talks about people like this? Are women a landing maneuver? Is he trying to perform a manual docking of the saucer section?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 06:42 AM
188

Be open about sex TALKING about sex with your 11yo is completely different than him watching sexual content. There is countless literature on the horrific effects of exposure of sexual content on children. This is sexual abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 06:32 AM
2

OMG this is my hardest of hard lines! I've loved men of every body shape and size from fit to flabby, but being smelly, stinky, gassy or burpy? NO. HELL NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 07:36 PM
13

Taking us to CHURCH!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 06:21 PM
70

Notice the implication here - women protecting themselves makes everyone else less safe. This appeals to the brainwashing we've been given our entire lives to put others before ourselves even if we may DIE as a consequence. Share critical data with women about DV rates? Make choices to avoid people who are taught normalized violence and are protected by institutions? You put your community at risk. You are selfish. You are hysterical. You are emotional. HARD DATA spun neatly into an ethos argume…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 06:10 PM
43

These guys are first in line for my plan to put garbage men in the penis rocket (you know the one) and shoot it into the sun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 06:00 PM
30

I had a friend who lost 15 lb just from stopping drinking for a couple of weeks. He wasn't even that big.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 11:33 PM
184

Such great points. Highlights another mistake she made in trying to suss out the reasons why he was breaking up with her. Totally understandable that she was shocked, but don't play to it. Train yourself to immediately be exiting the moment he gives you some chicanery. He doesn't want you? Doesn't matter how long he has been in your life, drop him. Gray rock. "Okay I hear you. Goodbye." *blocked* He's not precious, rare or powerful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 10:37 PM
17

Classic Dworkin!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 10:29 PM
38

Very good point. It's always a projection, and it's so ingrained in our society that they don't even realize that they're doing it. He feels justified in this excuse because of his anger at rejection even if it's blatantly untrue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 06:01 AM
400

She "embarrassed" him by not looking nice for other people's perception of him, so he immediately punished her for not performing as his status symbol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 10:55 AM
623

She was helping him out driving over an hour twice a day to get him to and from work, and in classic scrote behavior, took her generosity as entitlement and ruined the good thing he had going. No tears. Only sweet justice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 10:19 AM
5

I was going to ask something similar! OP do you have woman friends who can help you right now? Or even co-workers? Please let people know how you're doing. You deserve to have people care for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 09:37 AM
72

I don't think he knows that an animator is. Did he get tripped up by the "anime" part in the name?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 05:11 AM
118

💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 02:25 AM
36

Oh I'm so doing this now 🌮 I like to make random things French or Italian. Makes things fancy 💃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 02:24 AM
44

Oh for sure. This is both terrible and hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 02:21 AM
4

I like to feel like one of Sappho's muses LOL Yes! 🔥🔥🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:30 AM
348

I bet he purposely says quesadillas wrong and laughs extra loud at inappropriate times and she's trolling him back. And yes I'm totally projecting 😆 my highschool boyfriend did shit like this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 12:15 AM
2

Zero tolerance for this. Men will claim it's a "joke" and you may even be tempted to play it cool, but the reality is that it's disrespectful at its face and it always escalates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 10:32 PM
68

Always remember that men have time to waste but you do not. Being choosy with your company and putting in the effort to build a connection pays out enormous dividends. That goes for any interaction from strangers to friends to career network to lifelong partnerships. Human connection should be joyous, but scrotes like this don't like themselves, don't have anything to offer, have time to waste, and have no issue wasting yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 07:02 PM
43

Men are incapable of identifying their feelings or even naming them. If you have no understanding or language around feelings, how can you parse the difference between youth and a person?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 08:25 PM
11

Specific questions? He argued with her for 6 hours until she was reduced to an exhausted, emotional mess begging for him to not leave. There's no more "questions" to ask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 09:05 PM
12

Love this 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 08:16 PM
65

I have zero tolerance for this. From anyone. I'm a grown woman and deserve to be treated with gentleness and respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 08:40 AM
4

Has the OP of this tragic story been sent a link to FDS yet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 10:56 PM
10

Yup. I bet this was her gauging his generosity especially considering he admits he's been cheap in the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 11:07 PM
16

Yup. He can put the money towards things that benefit him, but it's too much to give her the gift she desires.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 11:03 PM
139

Thank you for sharing the missing missing reasons!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 10:06 PM
35

She never gave him surprise road head EVEN THO HE SUGGESTED IT A FEW TIMES. Definitely porn sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 10:04 PM
6

This is why you should never have sex with a man until he makes you cum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 09:47 PM
1

5 minute erections? 30 minute sex? Are the days of all day sex gone? Of your lover having to hide his erections all day because the thought of you turns him on? Of constantly being edged with the foreplay of desire, flirtation, and presence? This is a fucking travesty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 09:46 PM
16

When I was in college, a guy working out 6 days a week indicated he had way too much idle time on his hands 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 09:14 AM
31

Can confirm. Men had no problems with erections, cumming, OR condoms in the 90s/00s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 09:06 AM
102

Capitalism is not wicked or cruel when the commodity is the whore; profit is not wicked or cruel when the alienated worker is a female piece of meat; corporate bloodsucking is not wicked or cruel when the corporations in question, sell cunt; racism is not wicked or cruel when the black cunt or yellow cunt or red cunt or Hispanic cunt or Jewish cunt has her legs splayed for any man's pleasure; poverty is not wicked or cruel when it is the poverty of dispossessed women who have only themselves to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:30 AM
106

So let me get the straight. Girlfriend moves in with boyfriend. Boyfriend gets rid of the ugly and dangerous fireplace that freaked her out. He then tries to covertly punish her for the removal by having her pay the electric bill. She thinks the bill will be lower than her original offer and feels that's unfair. He doesn't reveal the truth - he thinks it will be higher than her offer to pay the mortgage. When the punishment doesn't work out, he manipulates the utilities to artificially increase …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 05:05 AM
9

Tidying toys is boring and overwhelming! I put on "the floor is lava" song and we run around and pick up toys together 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 04:38 AM
3

check out r/SmartChicksMakeBank Not a ton of posts there, but the ones that are give some great resources
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 11:56 PM
160

"what should i do?" We need to stop with this fixit attitude. Our partner lies, we want to fix it. He dissociates when we state our needs, we want to fix it. He belittles us, we want to fix it. He ignores our boundaries, we want to fix it. He fails to be an equal partner, we want to fix it. There is nothing to "fix." There is no book to read or advice to receive. There is no boundary or standard or expectation to move. The issue is not us or our relationship, it is HIM. And there is no fixing a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 11:47 PM
2

"apart from the blatant lack of moral values, it is also telling of how the person views themselves -- that they lack the basic confidence in their worth to attract a person just by being who they are. If they feel that they themselves would not be accepted BECAUSE of their height, then why should anyone else have the responsibility to accept them?" Absolutely brilliant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 10:50 PM
151

I do it for everything. It's especially delicious because I work in tech 😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 03:53 PM
1

If you think that's poetic, you should see how beautiful my 2 children are. They take my breath away. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 11:38 PM
23

I've experienced love at first sight. I've also experienced attraction so intense it felt like space and time bend when we are in proximity to each other. The latter is the the same as when I met him when he was 21 but now a 40yo man with no HS degree, living at his mom's house, working as a restaurant server. The former is an emotionally abusive narcissist and is blocked everywhere in my life. The person I married is my match, my fit. Love and attraction is not the same as compatibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 09:32 PM
1

Level up!! https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdMWBfsX/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 05:43 PM
17

My girlfriends and I have a little book club and we were reading this book for a bit until one of them said "do you think when her husband's meet up they ever talk about division of labor?" We promptly stopped reading the book after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 08:35 AM
31

as she proceeded to shit herself pushing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 08:16 PM
66

It's a distraction from recognizing our full power and propaganda for us to go back to prioritizing the male gaze. Because here's the thing, when you get pregnant and especially after have a baby, the patriarchal conditioning cracks. That voice of our body that had been silenced and made small starts talks to you, tells you to rest, tells you to eat, tells you to bond, tells you to nurse, tells you to heal. Your hips widen, your hormones shift, your focus points inward and then outward onto the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 05:29 PM
15

Hell yes. My 6 figure salary and my multiple Ring cameras & flood lights let me sleep peaceful as a baby. And they say a degree won't keep you warm!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 07:16 AM
36

The "from time to time she attends family BBQs" is so telling. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 07:11 AM
74

Heard a great quote related to this. "Women don't need men's help. Rather than men respecting men and helping women, men should help men and respect women. "
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 04:58 PM
57

"hysteria"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 04:45 PM
114

Ah such a great comeback. They really don't like being forced to confront the time, money, and energy required to meet their moving goalposts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 04:42 PM
9

Ah the good intentions line is such a favorite of mine. Got that recently. He wanted to explain his behavior. I asked why. He said so I'd know he had good intentions and that he was coming from a good place. I asked why his intentions matter when his behavior was textbook abusive. He finally stopped attempting to contact me after that. I was no longer receptive to his hoovering and he moved on to other sources of attention to cry to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 08:22 AM
1

American manufacturing in a nutshell: "our jobs moved overseas!" govt: here's all the new jobs! we need workers! "i'd have to retrain!" govt: here's money and opportunities to retrain! it's free! "ew those are pink collar jobs"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 08:06 AM
2

Yeah this doesn't make a lick of sense. The researcher contradicts himself and the data from his own study of the census data doesn't imply these claims. Probably on purpose with selective editing by the Time writer. I wish I could see the full context of this researcher's comments. From the article: “It’s quite startling how much the partnered women have now outpaced single women,” says Richard Fry, a senior researcher at the Pew Research Center. “About 43% of partnered women have completed at …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 08:03 AM
9

Owed him?? When I would try to say yeah well I paid for all the last ten things we did and never asked for anything back he'd say well Im doing that out of the kindness of my heart and he didnt "expect" me to do that. Oh ok so but if I didnt then we'd never have food or any fun or anything so that logic is pretty unsound to me. This attitude about women's efforts is most clear in the workplace. Women doing favors is seen as them being kind and caring. Men doing favors is seen as work and requiri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 06:07 AM
3

but still no luck Ah yes the classic orgasms come down to luck SHRUG I give up excuse DTMFA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 09:45 AM
49

They don't believe it. I can't tell you how many men have said to me that sexism can't exist because it wouldn't be profitable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 08:30 PM
3

It's so clear when you spell it out like this that his wife and children are just not important to him. Fear and love are incredible motivators. I have ADHD and I never slip when it comes to family. I cannot afford the consequences of doing so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 05:17 AM
6

Perfectly said. HE doesn't want a divorce so he's trying to make her stay when it's obvious, by his own admission of being incapable of helping, that the best thing he can do is have a fast, amicable divorce that sets up his children and ex to be best supported.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 05:09 AM
65

These men have no idea the damage this thinking does to their marriage. ALSO there are tons of men who are into pregnant women and think stretch marks are sexy. I say that from experience as a mom with two kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 04:30 AM
4

This ☝️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 05:43 AM
5

FINALLY!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 12:09 AM
97

Isn't it men who say all the time not to try to change a man? Well here it is, fellas. We believe you are exactly what you show us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 06:48 AM
182

"look how many fucking jars I have" This resonated with me to my core
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 04:59 PM
9

My wife now has decided to pursue a second degree so she can increase her skills. I told her that I would help her start a small business if she abandoned going back to school. It's so blatant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 09:53 PM
21

Our kids are both in college now, and I am paying for all of it. This poor victim of a man! Life is being done to him and he has no autonomy or choice in the actions of others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 09:49 PM
77

This is why they pull that "if the genders were reversed" nonsense. No critical analysis just wishes and dreams. Women are forced to live in reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:18 PM
5

I kept my name and I am so grateful everyday that I did. I only wish I gave my children my last name too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 07:07 AM
11

Why not create a new last name from your heritage?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 07:06 AM
12

Exactly. And this is why it's so important to rewire our social programming and do the exact opposite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 12:35 AM
246

these guys aren't all douchebags sometimes they just dont know what ladies want I'm dead. I can't. How. What.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 08:25 AM
7

I've had men gush to me that I'm their dream girl while they were married to someone else. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 08:35 AM
14

Just a thing to look at. Parts not a person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 08:04 AM
32

But I thought that since this was her area of responsibilities then where's the problem? Holy shit what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 09:09 AM
36

That sounds like a boundary he's putting for himself and his brothers, but not specific to you. If you have to tell a man to stand up for you...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:25 AM
21

What are your boyfriend's boundaries regarding his family's disrespect of you? What has he done to shut this down?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:07 AM
28

Dead, murdered, kidnapped, raped woman used to drive male character development and story. Fodder for a man's story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 11:12 PM
10

Exactly. Notice that he says being SAHD is the "flip side" of working long hours to provide for the family. And not... also working long hours to provide for the family?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 12:31 AM
5

"I'm FORCED to stay at work to provide for my family!" Man feels entitled to stuff for free, news at 11! But seriously I don't understand this mindset. I went back to college so that I could afford to have a family. I have worked my ass off for the last 5 years so that I could buy my husband his dream house and my children a neighborhood to grow up in. And now that I've acquired that family and home, I'm plotting out the next 5 years of investments and career opportunities to build our family we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 12:24 AM
12

Why are you getting feedback from a man you're dating or even in a relationship with? Constructive feedback is for peers, girl friends, mentors, and coaches and it is explicitly sought out and asked for. People should not be giving you "constructive feedback" that you haven't asked for. Ever. And you should not accept it or seek it from romantic partners. You don't even need to distinguish between whether it's in good faith or not. Don't do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:57 PM
4

Thank you! Going to watch with the family tonight 💞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:15 AM
62

An emotionally and financially stable relationship is the #1 indicator of a healthy pregnancy. If you want a child, this needs to be your absolute #1 priority. Being a pickme is deadly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 07:36 AM
12

I fell over when I got to the 3 months later "Hey." Incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 03:46 AM
49

I completely agree with this,. I've been married for a decade and just because you're my husband doesn't mean that you're on a need to know basis for everything in my life. Have things that are just your own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 06:54 AM
9

They are fantastic at fetching snacks and drinks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 06:48 AM
9

I'm the same. Love to chitchat and volley a conversation back and forth to our hearts content. If a dude doesn't want to play or makes me serve every time, I immediately drop my racket and bounce. I'm too pretty to do heavy lifting 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 08:19 AM
31

I was not referring to age so much as age + assistant + ignoring a no. But you're right, it's not a real issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 08:43 PM
246

It would be seen as predatory. Because it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 06:40 PM
10

Strange. When they were dating he never posted like this. He showed deference and respect to her powerful and prestigious family. 🤔🤔🤔 I wonder what changed? It's truly a mystery! 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 08:12 PM
16

I didn't even start considering getting my shit together until 27 and still got kids, career, house, and husband by 40. My secret? I made a conscious decision to stop goofing off and go hard for the things I wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 08:06 AM
10

You know what is the best foreplay? Being fed by men who delight in watching you eat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 04:28 AM
21

Great point on oxytocin being a lot more complex than just a love bonding hormone. Oxytocin is the same hormone that allows you to go on mama bear mode when your child is threatened and to also not smother them in their sleep when you haven't had REM sleep in 6 months. What's more accurate than "catching feelings" is that female oxytocin production in relationships (romantic or otherwise) is why we feel betrayal so acutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:48 AM
35

This one is straight up quoting a misogynoir RP YouTuber as if it was a random stray quote that "shifts your paradigm as a young man" and not absolute garbage, sexist, manipulative manosphere nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:39 AM
78

What are they even doing? 20 years of finding yourself and you don't have a LTR? That's not glowin' up, that's fuckin' around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 01:41 AM
83

Don't men admit to falling in love with women all over the place? The woman on the train, the lady on the street, the barista who smiled and said hello. We make such an effort to minimize interactions with men that if we accidentally make eye contact with a guy on the bus, we immediately get off at the next stop, yet we catch feelings faster? what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 11:49 PM
5

Same here! I read a comment a while back that body hair is a signifier of sexual maturity and it just clicked for me. Like I already knew that logically, but I had never thought about how my body hair and its scent are deeply and primordially SEXY AS FUCK. It's a pretty damn luxurious existence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 08:32 PM
3

If you're feeling cognitive dissonance over your waxing, lean into that feeling. Female bodies are a battlefield. You are purposely cut off from self love, bodily autonomy, ownership and choice by a system that objectifies, consumes, and capitalizes off your body. It is critical as part of your feminist practice and reconnecting to your body that you explore WHY you treat your body in the way you do and WHAT feelings that gives you when you run counter to it. Allow yourself to process those feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 07:26 PM
5

Do you condition or brush your bush? I've also grown mine out and I can't stop petting it 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 07:01 PM
5

It's not a right, it's our responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 06:55 PM
15

I came to say the same thing. Buy a $20 trimmer and put that $60 straight into investments every month. When you feel stress about your body looking "fresh" or "clean," put that energy towards something that builds you up and actively creates a better future for you. Take a vacation from the upkeep of performative femininity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 02:06 PM
54

Questioning why we do things is not the same as shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 02:01 PM
91

Because you are at the whims of a man and have no power - politically, socially, legally, or individually - to protect yourself if he decides to fuck you over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 12:57 AM
473

At least you know the vibrator was trying its hardest 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 07:58 PM
23

This is why it's so important to cultivate your own HV qualities and surround yourself with HV people. Being good on paper is the norm rather than a special case waiting to dazzle you. It's especially critical to surround yourself with and focus your energy on relationships with HV women. I know tons of gorgeous women who have their shit together, have advanced degrees, make good money, make the world a better place, and are generous and engaged friends. If THAT is the base standard in your mind…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 06:44 PM
19

My therapist is quite blunt with me, and I actively encourage her to do so and thank her when we have a back and forth as it helps me process my feelings. For example, when she told me it's not appropriate nor my job to manage my mom's trauma, I laughed and "argued" with her that there's no way that's true. She repeated the truth while I flailed and flopped and cried. I couldn't have processed unless she stood firm in what is a healthy relationship. She didn't tell me what to do, she just pulled…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 04:28 PM
6

Tara Brach and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), both which involve a lot of mindfulness concepts, have helped me the most in being able to observe, identify, and separate my feelings from my reactions; identify opportunities for boundaries, set, and reinforce them; break my codependent and hypervigilance tendencies to manage other people's feelings; and most importantly, remove SHAME from having normal human emotions like anger and sadness and allow me to process them in a healthy, loving way…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 03:54 PM
7

We are more closely related to the bonobo, not the chimp. I'd recommend reading the science of our similar relations there before making a leap to chimps. Specifically in how our physical biology is similar and dissimilar between the two apes and how that affects our social structures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 05:45 PM
54

I think a better tactic would be to identify what you value and what is important that a partner values and then write out how those values show up in action. Ultimately it doesn't matter what his values are by themselves but how his values and actions show up for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 05:36 PM
21

Do you tell them to call you back because you will likely have forgotten? I doubt it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:55 PM
45

Then they cry that all these little boys are being raised by their mothers. In other words, the mothers built a legacy that men feel they are entitled to simply for being "dad". They want to be the patriarch without doing any work and then blame women for their own absence. Because it's our job (and their children's) to make them feel special!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:51 PM
31

These are the same guys that talk about a woman's age as the primary factor for reproductive success. The number one factor for a healthy pregnancy? A financially and emotionally stable and secure relationship. But to understand that would require not viewing us as broodmares or children as toys. It would require viewing pregnancy and parenting as a lifelong labor of love. To recognize it as WORK and COMMITMENT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:44 PM
26

It gives them social status and standing with other men. That's their primary motivating factor for "acquiring" women and children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:38 PM
34

This is the key - shame. Don't get angry or "communicate" why it's wrong or give them negative attention. Only shame works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 02:41 AM
1

It's all propaganda and projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 08:27 AM
3

Thought the same thing. Trauma fishing with a side of fast tracking intimacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 07:58 AM
3

It's because they are unable to process or articulate or identify their emotions. Men are allowed three : anger, humor, and dissociation. Women make 80% of medical decisions for their families. Men offload the emotional labor of their health onto their wives. Do not do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 07:06 AM
485

"Lisa" is looking at him like he's an asshole. Incredible that guys believe this nonsense 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 06:38 AM
71

It's amazing how the red flags multiply. You poke at one (walking ahead) and 10 more fly out (DARVO and treating her as a bangmaid and mommy).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:21 PM
115

I don’t understand why my partner doesn’t care about something that’s important to me. Oof. Been there. Absolutely heart breaking. A betrayal beyond words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:01 AM
98

Yeah this dude is definitely going to have strippers. Him being personally offended by her pointing out the lie and defending his friend with "he's a good husband" is projection. He's setting her up to give him a pass when he does the same. OP - stop engaging in a back and forth with your fiance on this. State once "a man who crosses his wife's boundaries and lies to her is not a good husband. End of discussion." And do not entertain another word. If he continues to overstep your boundaries, you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:46 PM
8

Is it the item that is your reward or is it the feeling of buying something? Is it arriving at your front door and opening the box? Or is it having something shiny and new? Really interrogate what exactly is the reward, where are you getting that dopamine hit, when you purchase your reward. Also Google dopamine menu and how to ADHD. There's a great video on building a rewards "menu" that doesn't have to involve buying things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 08:02 PM
2

Think of it this way - you already have a prenup when marrying, it's your state's laws regarding marriage assets. Know what you're getting into.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:01 AM
5

This is why it's so important to spend your time and energy on yourself and your relationships with women. When you're used to intentional conversation and empowering relationships, negging becomes an awkward non-sequitur and prompt to exit rather than a challenge to rise to for male validation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 05:56 AM
11

Exactly what I came to say. Having a kid is an identity struggle for real, a constant balancing act of time and energy, but it's NEVER giving up on something. There is always give and take as we try to balance the needs of self, career, and family. That's life. This guy hasn't learned what men have been telling women forever - YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 05:49 AM
31

Gotta teach em that growth mindset! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 05:34 AM
14

What in the fuck does this have to do with femininity?? Magnetizing men? The hell???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 05:34 AM
5

Says women aren't funny He's only friends with pretty women (doesn't respect women he's not attracted to) Believes women lie about rape (this is a huge red flag)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 02:57 PM
7

May I make a book recommendation? Read bell hooks' book All About Love next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 02:16 AM
24

This is because when couples make a "we " decision they are not taking into account how sexism and patriarchy informs and influences every action and interaction in our relationships and our lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 02:10 AM
1

You are fixating on my words and not my point. Do not put yourself in a position where you are dependent on an ideal individual fix. There are rarely simple, easy answers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 01:51 AM
1

"easy answer" If only life was that simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 01:30 AM
1

What if your bc fails? What if you have to take in a young family member? Can your man step up when shit gets HARD?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 07:03 AM
2

As much as our beloved subreddit was missed, I think we all needed a break and a reset. Appreciate everything you do, mods. Thank you and welcome back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 05:03 PM
30

Same! I was all over Reddit dropping feminist bombs on the unwashed masses 😆 It just wasn't the same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 05:01 PM
102

Make impact statements rather than compliments - "when you do X, it makes me feel Y." It takes the focus away from the action and puts it on the result. For example: "When you handled all the kids this morning and let me sleep in, it made me feel loved and cared for. I really needed that." "It's been a really crazy week and I've seen how hard you've been working to keep up on top of the neverending pile of dishes. I see you and appreciate you." "Hey. When you open the door for me/plan fun dates/…
/r/askFDS10/10/21 09:08 PM
2

No. Never. I'm not a container for a man's fantasies. This will ALWAYS back fire. You gain nothing and he will never be satisfied.
/r/askFDS10/10/21 05:08 AM
93

Right. These women aren't talking about under 6" when they say they don't like bigger. I wonder how this experiment would work out if women named the length and girth of large vs not large. I'm betting less up votes when shorties realize that "i much prefer shorter" is not an all encompassing number including everything under 8"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 03:21 AM
31

"I am entitled to the benefit of the doubt. And so are all other men. NOT ALL MEN"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 03:18 AM
1

☠️☠️☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 08:01 PM
24

This is exactly it. My husband and I shopped for my ring together and his joy and commitment showed through his actions. He was more excited than I was! We went to Tiffany's where they taught us about the 4Cs, we went to a custom jewelry house and sketched out possible custom sets, and we tried on diamonds of every size and setting. In the end we spent $2500 on the one I thought was perfect for me. My happiness was his only motivating factor. And his joy in my happiness at his gift is evident 12…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:53 PM
4

Hell I wouldn't take a $20 Walmart ring at any time let alone an engagement. Why would I accept cheap shit any day of the week? The fuck?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:45 PM
131

My favorite is when they pull out the "innocent before proven guilty" as if my body and my time are court of law. Nope! This is Monopoly. Go directly to jail, do not pass go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:34 PM
8

Misandry!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:21 AM
7

That requires deprogramming themselves of the patriarchal belief that women exist to serve them. Too much work and they have video games to play.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:04 AM
5

This is so true I made it a rule - if Mama's not relaxing, neither are you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 07:00 AM
11

You're right. We've contributed to the problem by bending over backwards to fill the gap. This list is the result of exhaustion and resentment. STOP. Stop working harder in a desperate plea to get him to come to the table. He won't. Boundaries and action are the only thing that men respond to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 05:47 AM
36

Very insightful observation! Thinking out loud here - My friend group is at that age but most have young kids and so they are preoccupied by family life (none of the couples have a SAHM). There was one woman who's husband got a fat head once he made tech money and fell down the RP hole. He's pathetic and single now, and she's beautiful and thriving. It was a very strong lesson in men not understanding the game, misreading their cards and playing their hand too early. I could tell it made an impr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 06:56 AM
106

Yes! It may have been Rainforest Cafe bit it was still dinner and a movie 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 06:38 AM
29

Yes! Concealed ovulation is a key factor, and its affects can be seen in our bonobo primate relatives. It is in male best interests to have ongoing and mutual relationships with females. The better their relationship, the more consistent he is, the more opportunities to have sex during a fertile window.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 12:46 AM
16

When confronted with these posts, they'll notallmen all over the place. Expending enormous amounts of energy and time filling our posts with comments that they know no one will see because they are auto deleted or posting it on their fake fds boards where they can safely complain that we are somehow unreasonable believing men what they say and protecting ourselves (???). But zero energy expended on attacking the source and holding men accountable. Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 09:27 PM
25

I agree completely. Men say shit like this because it lowers our expectations of men and it's a way for them to circle jerk bond on their misogyny. These are all sluts and wannabe sluts. Are these comments a manifestation of the normalized degrading of women that is pervasive in every aspect of our society? Yes. But men do not mindlessly "fuck anything." They are opportunists always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 09:22 PM
18

Yes, I have dealt with this. Block him. And block his friends and exes and wife too. You will be blown away by the peace of mind it gives you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 11:09 PM
41

I told him no, and then he did it anyway
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 02:29 AM
20

That's the first thing that popped out to me. He believes his feelings being valid means she needs to hold and manage them. Classic boundary stomper and emotional manipulator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 01:03 AM
106

HPV isn't curable. Cervical cancer kills women. That's why the vaccine exists!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 12:54 AM
499

Notice that all the things she's buying are more expensive? Dinner is more expensive than lunch. The concession stand is where a movie theater makes all their money! A good suit is $$$$$. And help him out but what about your bad day? You word count run out? Or is he looking for Mommy,?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 05:28 AM
59

He wants to be treated with respect but without doing any work to deserve it. He knows women are frightened by him, but he still quickly passes them without regard to their fears. He knows women's avoidance is rotted in traumatic experiences with men, but does nothing to improve their situation. We're just ugly feminists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 07:19 PM
83

Chaperoned by men to be protected from men. It's such a scam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 07:10 PM
15

Your comment was fantastic advice! But omg the rest are just garbage. Proof that advice from men is useless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 01:50 AM
6

Oh Jews are just fodder for rapture. Christians have paternalistic respect for god's "chosen people," but we are a means to an end. They look down on us because we will not be saved but also require us for the second coming of Christ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 10:36 PM
5

Oh my god it's impossible. All the single Jewish guys I know are neo-liberal, militant Zionists (on paper- they would never become an Israeli citizen and risk being conscripted) and everyday generic misogynists emboldened by their own persecution. On flip side, gentiles are completely clueless. No understanding, historical context, awareness, or introspection on anti-Semitism. None. Zero. My liberal male friends actually argued with me against punching Nazis. It was so mind numbingly myopic that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 10:27 PM
221

Our empowerment is only allowed when men can profit off of it and contextualize it within the male gaze. It's vain when women take selfies and photos of themselves, to see their missing selves via their own agency within a shared community of women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 08:34 PM
3

Grey rock, act confused and ask him to explain it, say "ok" and then block, or shame/disgust (if you need to continue interacting with him). Personally, I find a look of disgust/cringe and a bit of shame like "wow did you really just say that?" Or "I haven't heard that joke since middle school. Wow." To be super effective. Especially if done in front of other men. If you respond or explain, you are giving them exactly what they want - a reaction. But men are very very sensitive to women laughing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 08:26 PM
7

And this is why they always slide back into your DMs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 08:07 PM
12

Oh man the performative Buddhism for clout. Easy to wax poetic about meditation and use all the keywords like "dharma" instead of going to fucking therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:44 PM
101

Do you need forgiveness? You are forgiven. Wash away your shame with healing flood waters. You are anew. Block this man everywhere. Then listen to this meditation https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-rain-self-compassion/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 06:32 PM
16

There is a YouTube comment blocker plugin for chrome. Install it ✌️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 05:31 PM
47

This immediately made me think of how domestic abusers use sleep deprivation as an abuse tactic. Barging in to the bathroom is meant to dominate, humiliate, and control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 05:58 AM
7

Oh I'm not talking about being vindictive. How do you counteract patriarchal propaganda if you don't know what it is? You're right - it's a waste of energy to be petty. This is about counter programming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 09:59 PM
53

I recently blocked all my exes on Facebook. Even if they were from decades ago, living on the other side of the world, with kids and wives. I blocked their friends and their wives too. It's nothing personal, just a proactive measure to prevent any future hoovering and to preserve my peace of mind. Highly recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 07:25 PM
11

Yup. Listen closely to what they say, make a list of their demands, and then proceed to actively do the opposite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 07:17 PM
3

You're so welcome. You're doing an amazing job ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 07:06 PM
7

Your feelings are completely legitimate. Blocking people you care about and cutting them out of your life is extremely painful. Fill yourself with loving compassion and allow yourself to mourn what was lost. But do not let that distract you from doing what needs to be done. Read this post I made about using visualization techniques to help you through this process https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p3tn6h/reinforcing_and_maximizing_the_benefits_of_no/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 09:46 PM
11

When I was trying to recover from narcissistic abuse, I read an amazing comment that narcissists not only want your direct attention, they also want to take up space inside your head. You have nothing to feel regret for. Do not let his games waste your time. Block and immediately move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 09:43 PM
61

Holy shit I'd run. This is a straight up threat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 09:26 PM
14

It's purposeful obfuscation of the intention behind having a man pay and a projection of their own entitlement to gold dig women. They know it has nothing to do with the dinner itself, they just want to be given an undeserved benefit of the doubt and easy access to our time. They know logically that women have the right to be choosy and may even advocate for it ("I'm a feminist!") but only if they are not inconvenienced in any way and ultimately benefit from our "empowerment." Ask a man who comp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 08:52 PM
1

Did you see this too? ​ Accept that some problems are unsolvable Unfortunately, it is practically impossible to entirely resolve such a gridlocked conflict immediately. Dr. Gottman quips, “your purpose is not to solve the conflict – it will probably never go away completely… instead the goal is to ‘declaw’ the issue, to try to remove the hurt so the problem stops being a source of great pain.” Here are a few steps that you can take to arrive at a temporary peace settlement in these treacherous l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 08:30 PM
7

This is a complete misrepresentation of what the Gottman Institute is saying and why we should not trust instagram and tiktok therapy for deep issues in our relationships. Gottman research indicates that 70% of our conflicts within marriage are from perpetual problems that center on either fundamental differences in personalities or fundamental differences in lifestyle needs. This list in the tiktok is a set of EXAMPLES of possible perpetual problems. But one couple's perpetual problems may be a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:35 PM
16

Ah he doesn't have the fantasy women he believes he deserves, so he expects the women he does interact with to contort themselves to his prick's unasked for opinions. Delusion and audacity.
/r/askFDS15/09/21 10:13 PM
22

Just the sight of it? Like knowing it exists on your body lowered his desire for sex? ALSO who the fuck says something like that?
/r/askFDS15/09/21 09:30 PM
57

Sexual preferences come from exposure. Whether a man is porn sick or not, he is influenced by the pornification of women in the media. Just like manosphere tactics bleed into the general public - men will spout PUA/RP nonsense w/o ever knowing the term. At one time bush was in then it was out then it was a "landing" strip then it was bare and right back again. It's arbitrary. But you said it best, it doesn't matter. This is selfish behavior. Can you imagine asking a man to specifically shave for…
/r/askFDS15/09/21 09:28 PM
1

What is your definition of empowering? I'd argue that seeing the impact of patriarchy on women's lives is even more teachable than knowing when to block a LVM. They go hand in hand. Why block LVM? Because letting them in your life can kill you. Why are we anti-porn? Because it literally kills women. These are female dating strategies for life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:37 PM
13

You're the knight in shining armor you've been waiting for!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:31 PM
4

There are some great comments here. I'd add that you may not want to come on FDS every day and it's important to take breaks. You can also sort posts to trickle the most impactful posts to the top (I always keep it on "hot" or if I've been off for awhile, the best of the last month).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:24 PM
4

Why are posts about institutional and systemic misogyny less instructive than individual misogyny?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:22 PM
12

we won't allow people to shame the people who partake in these kinks This reminds me of the phrase "sex work is work." Pull out that phrase and suddenly any discussion about how sex work is exploitative is now an attack on sex workers. It's a derailing tactic. Reducing women to objects is dehumanizing, violent, and misogynistic. Full stop. If you feel personally shamed, you're projecting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 07:29 PM
85

Across the spectrum, women seem to be complaining about the same thing: While they read countless self-help books, listen to podcasts, seek out career advisors, turn to female friends for advice and support, or spend a small fortune on therapists to deal with old wounds and current problems, the men in their lives simply rely on them. And yet they dare suggest we "communicate" more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 06:38 AM
34

The tradition of "taking" (being forced to take) a man's surname is coverture. There's no reason to do so in modern age. It cannot be disentangled from patriarchal ownership of women as property. And to answer the question, I kept my name in marriage and am grateful every day I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 03:36 AM
2

If men knew what we were doing, they'd scream misandry ;) I do understand why women are triggered by the term "feminine energy." The patriarchy loves dichotomist thinking. "Masculine" means dominance and "feminine" means submission. For that reason, I've often described embracing feminine energy as standing in feminine power. Or for some, I say goddess worship. In owning your feminine power, you completely reject the dichotomy. There is neither dominance nor submission.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 06:55 PM
36

I never take what men say at face value anymore. I only trust action. If a guy told you he wanted the new Xbox X (something rare and expensive), but did nothing to get one, the logical conclusion would be that he doesn't actually want one because he's not willing to put the effort. He may abstractly want one, or it's a nice to have, but it doesn't really matter because he didn't do anything about it. It's just talk. But if he said he wanted one and then took the time to set up alerts when they g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:30 PM
13

How does that saying go? If you have to ask us on Reddit, you should dump him 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 03:55 PM
24

Feeling uncomfortable for being called out is part of the growing process! I remember when I was a young feminist and was just learning about intersectionality, privilege, feminist praxis and the kyriarchy. It was very difficult to be told over and over again to shut up and sit down and listen. I had bought into the idea that because I was a woman, I had an equal seat at every woman's table. I took it personally. But being able to observe that reaction and contextualize and analyze it is part of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 03:53 PM
24

Hell I had a man slap my ass once and I kicked him right out of bed. He had a very shocked pikachu face when I hollered "Ow! Wtf that hurt!!" A slap across the face? I have a hair trigger fight or flight instinct (and zero fawn). So much so that when my kids accidentally hit me in the face or even my toddler purposely does, I have to exert an enormous amount of control over having a visceral physical reaction. I often have to leave the room. I can't imagine what I would do if a man I trusted in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 03:38 PM
1

I would go further and destroy any and all sexist, dichotomous thinking about your value and worthiness. Virgin vs whore, jezebel vs virtuous, victim vs empowered, maiden vs maid, the list goes on. This thinking strips us of our humanity, agency, and complexity, pits us against each other and our selves, and distracts us into chasing impossible goal posts (for the honor of having our humanity) rather than rejecting patriarchy out right. When it comes to your age, there is no beginning or end or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 10:46 PM
109

This type of patriarchal propaganda is always a projection. The lesson that money doesn't buy happiness is a lesson for men. When they interview old people on their deathbeds it is MEN who say I work too hard and spent too much time in the office. Women say something very different 😆 Women are not men. We live in entirely different life. And this expectation that we hold responsibility for virtuous ideals for men literally kills us. Only men can afford to not care about money for the goal of "ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 10:11 PM
83

Money buys boundaries, choice, security, and safety. If there's anything that watching our mothers and our mothers mothers has taught us is that happiness is a luxury.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 10:04 PM
51

The best, most fulfilling, and orgasmic sex, the kind built upon deep trust, authenticity, and connection, is the antithesis of how male desire is packaged and sold
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 09:56 PM
15

Always amazing. Every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 11:51 PM
15

Boom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 11:24 PM
8

They thought they were the hero of the story, and suddenly they realize they are the antagonist. It's a total mental break from reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 05:43 PM
2

What answer are you hoping for? Searching for why is a distraction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 08:01 AM
130

White men scare me the most. 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 07:06 PM
7

Beautiful post. I've also been working on finding my feminine energy and it has been liberating. I stopped chasing men, caring for men, and leading men. I stopped giving my energy to men (period) and to anyone who does not value or appreciate it. I regained a trust in my senses and in my experience, and sought the language between women that has been snuffed out by misogyny. I rejected patriarchal propaganda and anything that told me to make myself smaller. I embraced my sensuality, every curve …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 02:12 AM
5

Not drastic at all. I was trending this way and found that Bill Gates was a final nail on the coffin. I have no interest in hearing about men or reading about men or learning about their contributions. I've actually found myself reading more history rather than less as almost all stories involved brilliant women who have been silenced or overlooked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 10:41 PM
1

This is 100% true and you can see it spelled out explicitly in any NGO documentation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:45 AM
207

I GUESS I'LL ALWAYS BE A DIFFERENT PEDIGREE 🤣🤣🤣💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:25 AM
3

Holy shit this girl needs help!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:20 AM
7

You're a goddamn hero 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 09:08 PM
10

Here's the context https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oldest_profession_(phrase) Kipling was being a racist and used Lilith from the bible to perpetuate the patriarchal lie that women are inherently sinful (thus the made up "oldest profession") and paint India/East Asia with a wide sexist and racist brush to justify colonialism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 05:30 AM
4

Thank you for introducing me to this substack!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 05:18 AM
6

Or trafficking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 04:48 AM
162

Please completely block this person from your life and do not respond to any of his inevitable hoovering. Spend some time alone, read some of the books that have been recommended here, and if possible, go to therapy. The way this man treated you is not normal or healthy. It is abusive. And instead of immediately bouncing, you pampered him to soothe his anger and silence and disassociation. You need to unlearn this response and learn how to immediately see it as a red flag and GTFO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 04:36 AM
6

You ruined his moment because you didn't allow him to do a thing he wanted to do to you. I have curly hair and have experienced the same thing. He wanted a tender moment that was defined by him essentially combing my hair with his hands. I didn't like it but that wasn't important to him, he wanted HIS moment to look a certain way. My personal boundary ruined his moment. I've also had men get upset because I didn't like their performance of intimacy to involve backrubs, or playing guitar at me, o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 03:25 AM
16

I know exactly where the saying came from - Rudyard Kipling from some writing he did in the late 1880s. I don't remember the context, but it doesn't matter because it's ahistorical and those who repeat it are trying to justify buying women's bodies. The oldest profession is believed to be a wet nurse. Midwife, farmer, musician, healer, and tailor are also up there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 03:12 AM
67

Right, if he actually made that much money, it would be nothing to pay for his girlfriend. It's super fishy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 03:00 AM
34

This is an absolute gift. Thank you to the recovering NPD for writing this and to you for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:15 AM
13

This reminds me of that article about the professional woman swimmer who couldn't practice at public pools because men would try to force a competition
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 07:10 AM
21

As soon as they start talking it's instant regret
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 07:04 AM
72

My OB told me that to have the best sperm, men need to be healthy and active for a minimum of a year before they start trying for babies. I asked her how many men do that work, knowing that many women start taking folate, talking with their doctor, and building muscle 6mo+ before trying. You already know the answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:21 PM
29

I know quite a few women who had issues getting pregnant. Almost every one of them it was their husband's sperm count and quality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:15 PM
37

Evangelical women? You mean the BBC doing a report into rape, child porn and trafficking victims on OnlyFans, OF not doing anything to manage or report it, and OF paying the consequences of that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:07 PM
8

I love the way you put this. For me, it was getting older, being much more intentional in all things in my life, and having kids! My body changed so much not just from pregnancy, but from giving birth and nourishing my children with my body. This is a place of life, of abundance, of peace. I'm a temple. Anything touching my body that is less than a deep personal and spiritual connection is abhorrent to me, and holy smokes - sex is so much more beautiful and world shattering orgasmic because of i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 05:43 PM
6

Thank you. I needed to read this today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 03:56 AM
15

Here's a BBC article on the change. Also trigger warning, discussions of rape and specifically child rape https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-58255865
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 03:50 AM
8

Straight up gaslighting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 04:54 PM
7

Ah but he still wants her emotional, financial, and physical support. College is way easier when you have a "wife."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 04:28 PM
6

Spot on. The only way this infantalizing "gift" exists is if she has no life except what she spends with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 04:25 PM
18

The conversation went like this - Me: "Is that supposed to be funny? That's extremely disturbing." Them: "He's talking about himself. That's the funny part." Me: " He's talking about being exposed to explicit sexual imagery as a child. That's not for us to laugh at. That's extremely destructive to his sexual development and his views on women." Them: "It's pretty normal for a 12yo to want to look at porn..." Me: "You all were 12 between 1989 and 1992! You did NOT look at porn at 12. You didn't h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 05:02 AM
11

I need a man who is in tune with my wants, needs, and body...and men who try to beg or coerce themselves into my pants are not it. I'm very passionate, so lackluster sexual experiences are super upsetting for me lol ...but seriously 🙌🙌🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:21 PM
35

It's not jealousy or anything. it's respect. I would have none for someone who gets off on someone treating their body like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:04 PM
6

Andrew said the quiet part out loud
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:05 AM
86

Number 1 casualty of the afghan war are women and children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 06:37 AM
5

God I'd love to have a wife. What a sweet deal!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 04:51 AM
46

Correct. You are conditioned to be nice to your own detriment. And to not trust your own perceptions and experiences. You know what to do.
/r/askFDS16/08/21 12:36 AM
69

Honey if he's making alarm bells go off, drop him. If you need validation, yes he is being creepy. But a better question is why are you hesitating to trust your gut?
/r/askFDS15/08/21 11:41 PM
4

Do you have a pre-nup?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 07:43 PM
2

Equal to what??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 07:26 PM
11

Daycare is expensive but so is the loss of your earning potential. It's like failing to invest now because it costs money and it's easier to spend on the immediate - you lose out on millions of dollars of compounded interest, your retirement, and your independence. What do you gain in being a SAHM? Your husband can focus entirely on his career and never needs to worry about managing the house and kids. He can build his nest egg, climb that ladder, and secure his future. That's an ENORMOUS benefi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 07:02 PM
144

This is not enough. You need to have money aside AND earning potential.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 06:50 PM
16

Hard no on being a SAHM. We do not make choices in a vacuum - we are always and forever influence by the white supremacist, capitalist patriarchy. It is critical to your safety that you have financial independence for yourself and your children. Also women and men are not equal. Your boyfriend saying that is showing you red flags. "Taking turns" will ultimately fall on you taking care of the kids. The data backs this up - no matter how much money a woman makes or her position, her work is always…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 06:50 PM
25

I scope out locations for lunch! With coworkers! To not do this for a person you want to impress blows my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 02:11 AM
53

I've had to explain this to men multiple times before - women eat healthy and work out and go to therapy primarily because we have to. Because people are depending upon us. Because there are no days off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 02:06 AM
15

This reminds me of one of my favorite legal advice posts where a scrote who just got his first job in silicon valley (so you know big player totally the next Elon musk) was trying to figure out how he can make a contract for some future relationship where the woman would sign away all of her rights (saving him from the eeeviiil gold diggers) while providing him a child. It was delicious to see him completely shut down while he tried to use his big brain logic to strip this hypothetical woman of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 10:43 PM
51

There's a famous painting of a naked woman lounging in bed admiring herself in the mirror. The name of the painting is "vanity" and the message is that it is vain when a woman admires her own beauty because her place, like the naked woman painted by a man, is to be looked at and observed by men. Whenever men complain about women enjoying and monetizing their own beauty, it is because they believe consuming and using women belongs to them and them alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 09:20 PM
14

Men react so strongly to women's anger I can't help but assume they are terrified of it. Even more than they are terrified of our autonomy or us conversing together without their influence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 09:10 PM
29

This is great advice. I've worked in all male environments for years and I've found the ONLY effective deterrent is grey rocking and shame. Like "wow did you really say that? That's embarrassing" and then look super cringe and walk away type shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 08:57 PM
96

This sounds like an awesome day date with a best girl friend! First date with a dude you don't know? No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 08:52 PM
13

Police have not yet established a motive. YouTube confirmed to CNN that it has removed an account associated with the suspected shooter. "He is on social media, and that will be part of the investigation," Sawyer said at the police press briefing. Davison said he was "defeated by life" and went on hateful rants about women on a YouTube channel that has been taken down.In video clips seen by CNN, Davison makes numerous derogatory remarks about women, calling them "very simple-minded" and shallow,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 08:50 PM
2

These comments are incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 08:01 AM
15

Right? No "I miss the intimacy I had with my wife" or "I want her to be happy." His own words: she has no drive but she has sex out of obligation. Yet his concern is feeling desired.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:23 AM
16

The missing missing reasons strikes again!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:20 AM
31

Post 3 just proves the hyperbole more correct than not. What's that saying about Nazis at a dinner party? Male feelings are more important to him than pedophilia and objectification. Our rage is seen as a threat rather than a reasonable response. Which puts him camp pedophile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 01:41 AM
35

"imagine if the roles were reversed." But they're not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 01:26 AM
4

FACTS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 10:17 PM
49

That part wrecked me. I can't even begin to imagine describing a HUMAN BEING that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:49 PM
2

You are so welcome! You knowing you don't know where to start, saying it out loud, and being receptive to advice means you are already on your way. Best of luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 05:39 PM
6

I'd recommend doing three things, starting small and working your way up: set your priorities for self, work, and family; start setting boundaries in all three; and practice mindfulness. A leader I respect once told me that you have a finite amount of time and energy and within that you have three circles - self, work/career, and family/relationships. These circles will naturally flex in size depending on what is going on in your life, but they are always limited by time and energy. For example:…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 11:56 PM
2

Ooh I like this! It's like testing a man's reaction to a "no." You're vetting who you work with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 05:22 PM
14

Thank you. Seriously. We're in a very different place now, but it never should have gotten there. I'm getting my financial ducks in a row right now. There are no second chances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 05:18 PM
101

“but now she’s making me find a job” Aka she's no longer funding my fun. A lot of this relates back to something we've talked about in FDS before with men waiting for the "perfect job." Women helping is them trying to thread the needle while he refuses to do the effort to actually get that dream job and is fine with women footing the bill until he does. In my relationship, it wasn't until we got to a point where we had to have a serious financial heart to heart and I told him that if he didn't h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 02:59 AM
96

You're so not alone. I did it too. I forwarded him the contact info for my recruiter at a fortune 50 tech company, and when I asked him if he reached out to her, he said "well what if I get too many recruiters?" Man with zero offers, no interviews, no correspondence with any company let alone this one is worried that because he reached out to a friend at the same company for a referral a month ago he might have the imaginary non-problem of too many recruiters? Right. I cannot begin to describe t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 02:50 AM
43

Great points. It's very important to be strategic with your time and who you help. A reminder that the data shows that when women do favors in the office, it's just seen as them being helpful, versus when men do favors, it is seen as them being the team player and they expect to be compensated for it. This requires you to be incredibly purposeful in what you say yes to. Source: https://www.bustle.com/articles/8134-coworkers-expect-more-favors-from-women-study-reveals Related to that, I've gotten…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 02:37 AM
48

That video is required posting on any poly discussion on FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 11:02 PM
1

That's certainly what they recommend in self defense classes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 03:09 AM
1

Beautifully said. Seek secure relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:43 PM
2

Verbally and nonverbally communicate as you go. Don't let him put his cock near you until you cum - you can literally say "Not until I cum, sir! ;)" or just don't touch it at all until you're finished. Don't let him strip down or strip you down until you are ready - "uh uh. Going too fast there" or just cut him off if he's too impatient. Don't let him skip foreplay - "you missed a few 100 steps!" or "i'm not warmed up yet." And when he's working on your orgasm, lay back and enjoy and don't move …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 11:17 PM
1

What are you impatient about? Also do you have a vibrator to add to the fun?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 11:08 PM
31

I'm so sorry you had to go to that betrayal. Men don't know how devastating breaking our trust in our physical safety can be. You can never come back from that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 07:45 PM
3

You just inspired me to block all my exes and their wives/exes and their flying monkeys. Even ones from 15 years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 07:15 PM
6

It's so interesting when they say it's not worth it because when you interrogate the reasons for pursuing their degree it's never the same reason that women do. It's like the fundamentally do not understand what we are pursuing and why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 02:02 AM
9

A couple years later a guy on OLD, when he found out I was doing a PhD, told me (unsolicited) that he was actually smarter than me because he didn't have any "dept". Oh I love this one. You can see these dudes all over Reddit yelling about how "Getting a degree is a scam!" And then tell a story how they're super successful in construction or in tech in a role that has a ceiling because they don't have a degree. They certainly have lots and lots of energy to pontificate about them being so smart …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 02:01 AM
6

Same for Serena. Watch men closely what they say about black women who are highly successful and can't be fit into a convenient and compliant box.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 01:37 AM
11

This reminds me of a great article I read in the New York times about onlyFans. A woman described sex positivity as going from not being able to say yes to not being able to say no
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 01:28 AM
5

Right. We still live in a patriarchy and so sex positivity has been warped to serve it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 01:27 AM
3

Mothering a man is the biggest turn off in the world. You can have the highest libido and it just murders it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 12:09 AM
75

This is bonkers to me. Men wanting kids without marriage is just such an obvious setup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:25 PM
35

It's the small little things. Not coming to races, interrupting workout schedules, not picking up chores when your schedule got heavier with training/study, not learning anything about nutritional needs, eating your snacks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 06:37 AM
42

I was going through some old files my mom sent me and in it I found a print out from sex dot com or the like from 1998 on how to give a blowjob. I was in highschool, didn't have a boyfriend, was a total virgin, and I was printing out sex tips on my parents' printer. There is no excuse in 2021 with everyone having a computer in their pocket to figure out where the clit is and what it likes. We should demand nothing less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 06:25 AM
37

They can name the page off the top of their heads on alt variants of any dnd character build in Xanathar's Guide to Everything and the minute differences in skill bonuses from 2e - 5e. But understanding women's bodies, no go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 06:21 AM
1

Love this and love your writing! Anything else your dad did you want to share? Mom here taking notes on getting my daughter away from the idiot box!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 07:46 AM
1

It's on Netflix! Thank you. I just rewatched it and it's so so good. Elle is fully herself and surrounds herself with women who support her. I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 06:23 AM
5

I love this woman's tiktok channel so much. A must follow!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 05:37 AM
2

Very true. They bootlick for men in power (trump, bezos, musk) and think it'll earn them some sort of patriarchy points. FDS super fans have even explicitly said it in their love notes - they voted for fascists believing that the "new world order" will anoint them with ???. When their saviors' treat them as fodder (which they are), they come up with elaborate conspiracy theories that it's all part of a larger plan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 04:49 AM
25

Wow a light bulb just went off in my head. My 5-year-old is constant. She tells me every pain, every want, every thought that crosses her mind. There is no barrier (because of normal cognitive development) between her feelings and her spinal cord. The thoughts in her mind result in a physical reaction and will continue to do so until she is about 13 years old. Add the expectation that I respond and soothe and redirect or engage in every articulated feeling and thought. It's developmentally appro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 02:52 AM
6

Yes! They're unable to be spontaneous and silly and laugh in the moment. Sex is supposed to be playful and interactive. You can tell when they're running a script because they can't take a joke and can't go off script.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 02:26 AM
7

Slapping ANYWHERE is a red flag. If he does anything that purposely causes you pain or discomfort, he got it from porn and he's getting off from your pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 02:20 AM
91

Men are too weak and emotional to dismantle the systems that oppress them. They would rather take the false hope of promised scraps - they will have someone to oppress and be made to feel powerful. It's an intoxicating promise that requires no effort or introspection but also gives no real power, no liberation, no safety, and no future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 01:58 AM
2

Agree completely. You may have seperate accounts but your collective finances should be TRANSPARENT at all times and working ultimately collectively forward. Anything less verges on financial abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 06:46 AM
2

Aw dammit! I was just telling my husband it's time to start planning for halloween, and I totally forgot how fucked it is. It's so bad that I've been wanting to go as a surgeon with my daughter as a skeleton and I can't find a single set of women's sized halloween packaged surgical scrubs, coat, and cap that isn't pornified. SURGICAL SCRUBS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 06:00 AM
1

sure until they lobotomize, institutionalize, or burn you at the stake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 04:41 AM
70

Another reason to only accept dinner dates. Not joking. I only want men that derive pleasure from feeding me. And they absolutely, 100% exist. I'm married to one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 04:26 AM
10

sh*t testing / temperature checking you to see if you're mad at him omg that's exactly what it is!! Thank you for this brilliant list. A narc I blocked from my life for becoming abusive upon me reinforcing a boundary is trying to reinsert himself after 3 months of no contact. "Just want to know how you're doing!" he writes me from a new email address. Uh huh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 04:06 AM
2

Do you have a green tea recommendation? Looking to drink more ❤️🍵
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:11 AM
52

It's all gaslighting and propaganda. Men doing the same thing they've done for hundreds of years when women share knowledge amongst ourselves - call us hysterical, jealous, insane, witches.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 05:33 PM
46

It's a lie to sell their grift
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 04:52 PM
14

I came here to say this. Men want attention. That's all this is about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 09:38 AM
24

I've had dates like that. Foreplay started the moment he opened my door on arrival and took my hand. Holy swoon 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:00 AM
2

If your date looks like my family stopping to grab a fast meal on a long car ride and didn't get out because it's too much effort with two hungry, tired kids... You can do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:57 AM
9

You don't need to have a response. You know what's best for you and don't owe anyone an explanation or a justification for you tone or demeanor. Give a simple "okay" or "mmhmm" and continue on as you were. Also don't internalize advice from people you'd never seek advice from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 03:52 AM
3

Do you get equal time off? You say he works all day, but don't you too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 08:46 AM
1

Every time. EVERY TIME! I have taken group weight classes for DECADES and there is always, every single time at least one dude who is swinging these giant weights in the worst form possible. You can see him look around the room, see the woman with the largest amount of weights, and go back and grab another to add to his bar to one up her. My favorite tho is when it's a "body pump" type class - lower weights, tons of reps, predominantly women. New dude comes in, puts on too many weights (despite …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 04:08 AM
1

I used to work in an office near a trail and would go on runs during lunch. A couple of guys I worked with also were runners and were OBSESSED with how far (in miles) and how fast I ran. Didn't care why I was running or for what purpose or my goals, at the end of ever run I was always met with "what was your time?" And every time I answered truthfully with the only measurements I took - "I ran 45 minutes. Found some wild blueberries. Threw rocks into the creek. Saw a snake. Poked it." It frustra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 03:56 AM
3

Safety is also my baseline. I never fawn in the face of fear, I go full flight. Cultivate that fear and get the fuck out if a man ever makes you afraid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 03:24 AM
3

It's such an enormous misplacement of energy that reveals how privileged they really are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 03:09 AM
9

Perfection
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 10:17 PM
19

Yup. This is a straight up ad for men. Women read that and think "one day? with pictures of fake dudes? that's some red flag abusive bullshit." Men are quick to pay for bro marketing schemes that promise them bangmaids with zero effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 10:05 PM
1

This is such a good point! We talk about financial independence all the time in regards to security and safety, but we also need independence in our health for the same reasoning. Well i'm off to go work out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:37 PM
3

What are your boundaries at the gym? Write them down, the actions you will take to enforce them, and execute them without prejudice. You are not being a bitch, you are protecting yourself and your peace. Their feelings and desires have nothing to do with you. This post might help as well https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/og66k1/a\_few\_thoughts\_on\_self\_protection\_and\_stalking/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:55 AM
7

we need to choose NOT to have someone who was careless, abusive, mean, and a boundary destroyer Thank you. I needed to read this today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:38 AM
3

This is a direct result of a culture of passivity and tolerance towards male anger and misplaced ego. Male violence is an epidemic. It is more important than ever to have zero tolerance for their abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:00 AM
2

Wait I thought sex work was empowering??! 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:51 AM
5

Small gesture I wish men would do more often - shut the fuck up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 02:04 AM
20

That would require seeing women as autonomous human beings with personal agency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 01:56 AM
55

OFFENDED. Holy shit. I'm so sorry. And I'm so glad you're here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 01:53 AM
5

👑👑👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:03 PM
12

Same here. Spoiled kid, learned on my own and through relationships/roommates/friends when I moved out. No one was expected to feed me except myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:03 PM
27

Exactly. Criticism of women's standards and boundaries and humanity is ALWAYS projection. We already know, backed up by DATA, that women do more in relationships. Dollar to dollar and hour to hour. This is pure propaganda.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 04:00 AM
28

When will women learn that when you act like a man's mother he will treat you like his mother?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 05:09 PM
27

Repeat after me: "women are not your therapy."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 05:06 PM
4

This is gas lighting. He is not seeking clarification, he is making you doubt yourself. And equally concerning, making you repeat yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:57 AM
6

Right? Why would I insult someone I love? And why would I expend energy on even caring enough to notice for people I don't? It's all a power play for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:42 AM
1

YES! Love this energy 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:36 AM
14

I remember being young and naive and believing because I *want* equality that it will manifest. It is a very white libfem pov that had no basis in reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 04:54 AM
13

For real. One of the best posts I've ever read on FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 12:45 AM
29

I want to protect myself and my daughter financially without being a jerk The patriarchy has brainwashed us to the point we're more concerned about being NICE than our own damn lives and that of our children. We will DIE rather than protect ourselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:06 PM
2

Now there's a question for a 2nd date. What's your orgasm count?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:16 AM
1

All this unpaid labor! What a dream!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:10 AM
2

Within the last couple of weeks, researchers at Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center independently reported studies in mice, which showed that a father’s level of exercise prior to conception may have long-lasting effects on their children’s’ metabolic health. My OBGYN told me that a father has to work out and be in shape for A YEAR before his sperm shows the effects of his good health. Women should take folic acid up to 6mo before trying, but that's for have a nutrient foundation for bui…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:02 AM
2

The game is rigged. The house always wins, no matter how much time you spend on strategy. It's a waste of energy and money and sanity. Dont play the game. Dont even enter the casino.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 04:45 AM
5

Men only respond to action.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:04 PM
3

I wear whatever the fuck I want. It's my house. Leggings and tshirts are my go to - comfy, easy to play with the kids and also appropriate for zoom calls for work. But I do love lounging in a robe on the weekends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 09:43 AM
2

I believe both of these types of men, those uncomfortable by sincerity and those who want daily caring, are all on the spectrum of performative love. Deep lasting love where you care for each other is something that is built over time. When men say love is caring for each other when sick etc, there is a strong chance they are future faking, fast tracking emotional intimacy, or want a caretaker/attention. They are "sincere" too quickly than appropriate. When men are afraid of sincerity, they lack…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:41 PM
2

18mo is the key number! That's when the honeymoon period ends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:17 PM
2

Beautifully said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:16 PM
15

I love hot men in their 40s and 50s. So much potential and most men waste it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 09:48 PM
1

For every guy like me who quickly gets tired of unreciprocated interest This is a man who wants a relationship w/o the work, who wants to rush the bonding process without giving it the time it requires, who doesn't vet, who sees women as objects you acquire through marking off a performative checklist, and who feels entitled to women's attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 09:13 PM
8

Wow I just had a crazy flashback to a job I worked in a medical records office 20 years ago. All the women complained and bonded over their shared trauma with no interest in growth or upward mobility. It was incredibly motivating to get the hell out of there! I work now in an office of fellow highly educated and high earning women and there's none of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:57 PM
10

Why is it so important for them to watch porn? I truly don't understand it. I've never felt fixated or entitled to _anything_ as these porn apologists and addicts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:44 PM
3

Smile, honey!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:27 PM
6

Yes! And in his 40s 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:27 PM
29

Love this energy. And that pantsuit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:24 PM
16

What a smile! And those lips my god
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:22 PM
11

Yup. Seems great in concept but it's not in reality. Better to get a fantastic vibrator and spend that energy on yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:20 PM
68

Those cheekbones! That skin! And he's 50! I'm reading an article on him right now on his sartorial virtues. This is a man with class who understands it takes time and refinement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:17 PM
22

Same. I think I hurt my finger I clicked so hard to hide 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:13 PM
90

I just want everything to go back to the way it was before Oof. This broke my heart. It's so hard to come to terms that the person you love is an abuser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:39 AM
1

They're just jelly they don't have their own FDS coven midnight blood rituals and are too lazy/have no male friends to make their own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:21 AM
8

There have been countless postings on FDS about men claiming their value increases over time as their wealth increases whereas women's value (attractiveness and youth) decreases as they age. It is a bizarro fantasy world predicated on women not working, where women are dependent on men, and men are the choosers. It's a complete detachment from reality that results in RAGE at women filling colleges, competing in the workforce, having bodily autonomy, choosing to not fuck them (MISANDRY), and risi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:16 AM
2

We can't simultaneously safeguard our dignity and entertain men. New FDS tagline
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:45 AM
11

It's a super sweet deal for him. Like imagine being in his shoes! Able to fully focus on your career while everything in your life is managed? I'd take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:38 AM
25

I stood awkwardly near some girls who ignored me because I radiate negative energy. Then when I asked them out without ever having a conversation, they treated me like a weirdo!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:28 AM
14

He's not even 28! He's 20 imagining his hot, rich future that will never materialize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:21 AM
10

This late bloomer excuse makes me see red. Women are just fodder to feed their insecurities. WOMEN ARE LATE BLOOMERS TOO. Yet we don't fuck men to prove we're not losers. I'm using his words! Can you fucking imagine???? That would scream SEEK THERAPY. Yet men legitimize this. Because we are FODDER TO BE CONSUMED.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:54 PM
10

Its purpose is to keep your attention at any cost to fill his needs until you are sucked dry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:42 PM
10

I'm am deeply empathetic to why women speak this way. When I get an email from a woman in the workplace who is kneecapping her sentences and adding unnecessary apologies and superfluous buffers to make herself small and inoffensive, I immediately understand, feel compassion for the type of environment she must work in to respond in such a way, and spend time showing her that I'm an ally. That being said, it is an incredible disservice to women to not also point out that this undermines her. I wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:40 AM
6

Feed into love that fulfills you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 04:47 AM
9

There's plenty of dick to go around. They should go for it! Alas #nohomo exists because of the fear of male reprisal not women's judgment. And that's how we get to men bonding over how many women they "bag" but also how much they can't stand us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 04:46 AM
11

Does it though? Most mothers I know fit this bill. The only difference is a word - matriarch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 04:32 AM
18

They feel they deserve it without building it. As any woman here with a family can attest, you build that brick by brick. Your career, your financial stability, bringing children in the world and raising them, saving for a house, caring for your home, building your retirement. And if you are married, underneath all that is the work of building partnership with your spouse. It is dirty, it is often boring, it often feels like a toil. But you take your spouse's hand, you wipe each other's brow, an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 04:20 AM
3

Exactly. PNC is a lot of words to say "i feel guilty for using you as a hole."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:07 PM
86

The "women don't poop" whole whatever is so bizarre! Like it's not a disgust at failing to be clean or even poop itself but just that we have NORMAL biological functions. We sweat, we menstruate, we poop, we exist. I used to think it's that men think we are perfect and don't do these things. Like "women are so put together, they never smell! Men are gross but women are so clean." But then the moment you mention anything that is "gross" from the spectrum of this is an unopened box of tampons all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:01 PM
3

sweater + books + soft sunlight on that jawline
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:41 PM
11

Gorgeous!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:39 PM
23

One was a well-adjusted woman with a happy childhood before she met him. But a year of his love-bombing made her "high" on the relationship she had with him. His later abuse put her through a withdrawal, which only made her try harder to return to that blissful love-bombing state. ... Anything that a scrote does to impair a woman's judgment and create dependency is love bombing whether they're hooking her with drugs, sex, validation, or attention ​ Welp. Taking this to therapy this week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 08:20 AM
18

"what do you bring to the table" I'm just living my life! Why do we have to prove our worth to men who we don't even want? We already know this is just a distraction. They don't actually care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:22 AM
6

Agreed. Your name is your name. It's whatever you want it to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:16 PM
3

I have two kids and they have a different name from me. Never had a problem. Not once. It's completely normal to have mixed families with different names.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:59 PM
27

It's totally abuser behavior too. Antagonize you so you'll give them attention/get you talking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:51 PM
2

I initially joined Reddit to read DB. I was in a really low place in my marriage and that sub helped at first to not feel alone. But it was FDS, not DB that helped my marriage improve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:48 PM
7

How do these guys with newborns even have time to worry about intimacy? If they are fixated on sex any time w/in the first 6mo after birth, they are too well rested and need to focus on the kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 08:43 PM
13

Right? I'm 40 and everyone in my age group is married to people their age. Like literally within a 1 year range. All my neighbors and extended friends through my kids' school are married to people their age. All my young friends at work and through my volunteering date their age. ZERO of the single women I know from 20-40yo date outside their age range. I know 2 single dudes in their late 30s/early 40s that try to date 5-10 years younger. They are very good looking, fit, make good money, own the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 04:13 AM
10

When those old dudes retire it's like someone opened a window and let in the sunshine. Bob knew everything but Bob was also a crotchety asshole. I love my early 20s coworkers. They are beautiful and brilliant and eager and adorable. Unfortunately the 23yo cutie on my team just left. He's on to bigger and better things! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 03:59 AM
49

The only men I know who are attractive 40+ are long term married. They have been taken care of by women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 03:51 AM
1

Have you tried women's professional organizations? AAUW, SWE, local women in science groups through meetup, women focused orgs at your workplace, etc. That will expose you to quality and respectable women in a wide age range.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:03 AM
25

Why does this logic not apply to women's behavior? If we're going to talk about boring...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:22 PM
3

Not smiling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 03:13 AM
2

I sometimes disagree for no reason other than to annoy them. Not a debate (I don't debate with men), just a simple shut down of the generic white boy band/movie/opinion/ whatever they assumed I'd like or agree with or want to hear about because they want to talk about it. The key is to drop the statement with a tone of total disinterest. "I don't like podcasts." "I haven't watched the Simpsons since I was 14." "I don't watch Tarantino movies." "I don't know what that is. Sorry." "I love astrolog…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 03:11 AM
1

Been married over a decade and have two children. I kept my name because it made no sense for me to change the name I had my whole life. It was an illogical and arbitrary expectation. It never comes up, I've never had it questioned, I've had no logistical issues with my kids having a different name than me, I've never missed being a Mrs (I'm a Ms!), and I feel deep, deep comfort and security in my independent identity. My only regret is I gave the kids his last name. Not because he's a jerk or b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:15 AM
11

A fetish for attention and wasting women's time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:59 AM
11

Where's this meme for women? Because I see plenty of men complaining that their wife who works full time, runs the house, and cares for their 3 kids under 5 doesn't have time to take care of his sexual needs. Takes a strong man to understand, I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:56 AM
22

Their definition of fertility doesn't even make sense. It's the moment of menarche, then late teens, then 20s, oh but 35 works! Whatever nonsense evo psych they're into at the moment, historically blind, devoid of biology or actual science, confidently declared as truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:45 AM
58

Tells you everything you need to know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:23 AM
6

Ah yes, the endless status updates that they never read and are still dissatisfied. You want it in email? Trello? Jira? What if I make you a burn down chart of my own personal work as the sole lead of this project? Daily updates on my blockers? Comprehensive documentation on the entire project? Thank you for the reminder of why I'm leaving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 01:33 AM
16

Being a poor student doesn't excuse lack of imagination or effort.
/r/askFDS03/05/21 10:10 PM
38

When I was young, I didn't think it was physically possible to have a baby without being married 😆 I eventually learned how biology works, but the concept that babies required marriage never left. I never at any point in my life considered a possibility where I'd have kids with a man outside of marriage. Is that an archaic point of view? Because that should be the standard. And if that is the standard, we must continue to work collectively to have high standards and hold men accountable. We can'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 08:47 PM
2

Oof. Love to you. I'm glad you're here 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 04:51 PM
1

Right? I bet if you made eye contact with you, he'd be one of those exhausting guys who see it as an invitation to talk your ear off and then ask for your number despite you turning your back and gray rocking him. But yeah Lupita totally not his type 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:39 PM
4

Everyone in his life is telling him to let it go, that he has a good deal that benefits him, and he's about to shoot himself in the foot because of the "principle of it all." I knew a guy who did this, or I should say I knew his ex-wife, because she's amazing and he was boring and no one liked him. Like seriously so boring if you saw him on the street you wouldn't even register his presence. His ex-wife is beautiful and talented, works in a prestigious field making the world a better place, they…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:34 PM
3

What made the change for your DH? Mine went to therapy and it was transformative. He didn't do anything major, just basic behavioral cognitive therapy to identify and articulate his feelings and learn self-soothing techniques. I bring it up because if your husband is still on that journey, he might find that type of therapy really rewarding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 03:21 PM
2

Where was she hard? I'm a mom and I would never put such nonsense on my kids. Parenting isn't about you - it's about the kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:24 AM
5

This is eye opening to me! Wow! This happened to me just recently. I blocked a narc in my life who got abusive when I set a boundary. Eventually after getting no supply, he sent me a message (from an unlisted number he knew I didn't have blocked) framing my non-response and his submission to my total block as being about my anger. I couldn't pinpoint what was so bullshit about this note about my "anger", but your comment clarified it - he made my boundary, me standing up to abuse, about him and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:21 AM
25

I think its a "man thing". Men think something is better than nothing, while we (FDS or any woman with high standards) think that nothing is better than something we don't want. Men need to start respecting the time of the women they are getting involved with, but they don't. Beautifully said
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:29 AM
25

Down votes. OPPRESSION
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:22 AM
3

Classic narcissist's trick. Keep on grey rocking!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:10 AM
90

My therapist had me write out ALL of my resentments and send it to her. It was amazing. Keep score.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 12:04 AM
2

Absolutely glorious. After reading your story, I had to put down my phone and just bask in your bad assness. As women, it is critical that we guard our time and our energy. Doubly so if you work in technology. You are invited to that meeting, your time was disrespected, you called it out, and set a boundary that you would no longer participate. I've been disrespected at scrum stand ups before. Never again after reading this!! Btw boundary setting works. I told some male friends who work in tech …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 10:20 PM
4

FACTS. I'm a dev and BEG for a designer on every project.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:45 PM
13

It's pure projection of his insecurity. You know he'd love her attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:26 PM
37

Software engineer here. What an absolutely bizarre response to a perfectly reasonable question about syntax. Please do not let this experience stop you from asking important questions like this. If I worked with you, I would greatly appreciate such a question because it means you were paying attention to standards, and it would challenge me to interrogate my own coding assumptions and institutional knowledge I'm failing to make visible. A secret about computer science - no one has any idea what'…
/r/askFDS02/05/21 08:29 PM
11

Agree with this completely. Ask them straight up to explain the joke.
/r/askFDS02/05/21 08:03 PM
21

Have you read the handbook?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 08:41 PM
25

BOOM!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:41 AM
12

Exactly. Couples is an extension of INDIVIDUAL therapy work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:21 AM
8

Does he help you find your clothes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 03:15 AM
7

In addition to so much great content here, I make sure to let my daughter PLAY. She is allowed to be loud, take up space, dance, explore, and choose. I often let her take the lead. I give her context and trust but also let her be a child. The world will force her to grow up soon enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 07:22 AM
5

I love this. We love our bodies in our house. No one is allowed to make negative comments about their own bodies or other people's bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 07:19 AM
25

Men have choice, women don't. Men benefit from marriage, women don't. Women are unmarried for entirely different reasons than men are. It's not an equal comparison.
/r/askFDS20/04/21 07:26 AM
36

Love it. Don't kink shame me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 11:15 PM
3

I'm here for liberation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:22 PM
30

"fuck what other people think" Wait until they find out we're seeking ending male hegemony and not simply getting ours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:14 PM
39

We realize men are full of shit, we stop competing with other women, and refocus our energy from trying to win in a game that is rigged against us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:56 PM
8

Holy shit this is good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:20 AM
22

Thank you for posting this. I was aware of this research, but I had lost the link to it. Saving!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 07:08 PM
8

I talked to my husband about this last night, and he reminded me that at that time we were also critical of marriage itself as the gay marriage debate was going on. We both wanted children and there was absolutely no way we were going to have them without being married, but there were a lot of conversations about what marriage means in the world that denies it for others on specious, heterosexist, and gender essentialist reasons. That being said, he knew from very early on, just as we always say…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 05:20 PM
20

3 years. Would have been earlier but he was waiting to propose on the anniversary of our first date. 😁 I didn't feel I had to wait. I actually said to my girlfriends just a month before that I expected to be engaged within 6 months. I'd been in plenty of relationships before that I knew had no future. This one was the opposite of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 04:12 AM
15

That's the only way this works. Otherwise what happens if his career plateaus? Or he loses his job? Or he works in a low paying field? Or he needs to take a leave of absence? Or his partner makes more than him? What assets is he cultivating to bring to a relationship?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:19 PM
7

Beautifully said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:39 PM
14

I'm getting hotter, making more money, and don't want to fuck you. Sounds like you're the only thing depreciating here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:23 PM
85

I came to say the same thing! It sounds like your boyfriend is interested in making sure you feel like you’re not quite good enough and that he’s doing you a favor by overlooking your physical and sexual inadequacies. These are some deeply damaging and manipulative games he’s playing. Ding ding ding!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:58 PM
30

Right? IT'S A FUCKIN' GIFT. For the woman you asked to share her life with you. That you got down on a KNEE for to ask that she chose YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:04 AM
93

I'm never taking my mask off
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:59 AM
242

I just ugly laughed at this. He's so close to getting it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:33 AM
7

Perfectly said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:41 AM
11

For. Real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:29 AM
4

The sunk cost fallacy is when we continue an action because of our past decisions (time, money, resources) rather than a rational choice of what will maximise our utility at this present time. You're remaining in a shit relationship because you have already put 3 years in. But this is a fallacy - you are not going to recoup that time but instead waste more.
/r/askFDS10/04/21 08:47 PM
8

That's still not 50/50
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:29 PM
5

Sunken cost fallacy
/r/askFDS09/04/21 06:55 AM
1

I'm 40yo and have had many partners. I promise you will experience caring guidance and sense of wonder many times in your life. Love and sex and trust are beautiful things you will rediscover over and over again.
/r/askFDS09/04/21 06:54 AM
3

There are girls under 20 that have achieved everything you want?? From what I'm reading of your post, you want to fit in and have external validation. These are valid human wants but they should not encompass everything you want. If a 19yo has everything you want, you are scrounging for scraps on the floor and not shooting for the stars. Achieving your goals is how you find that inner validation.
/r/askFDS09/04/21 06:42 AM
112

He asked you to book it? Here's your red flag 🚩🚩🚩
/r/askFDS09/04/21 02:51 AM
20

Exactly. Not taking care of your health, medical issue or no, is all the same flavor of neglect and laziness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 08:18 PM
15

🏅🏅🏅🏅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 08:13 PM
7

We don't have hers or his money - it all goes into the pot equally. All debts, bills and expenses are budgeted and transparent. All additional money goes into savings, retirement, and the house. Hobbies have a loose stipend per person, but it's not fixed. My additional expenses of being a woman are part of our normal budgeted expenses. There is no 50/50. We've been doing this since we were broke and moved in together. My boyfriend (now husband) had us break down all our debts and budget each pay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 02:19 AM
57

Your disappointment is absolutely valid but you are not abnormal. It took me years and 3 long term partners to learn to cum from oral. the key was not just a skilled, eager, patient, and persistent partner, but me letting go of "normal" and completely fixating on my pleasure. The orgasm originates in the mind. Trust, relaxation, and focus are the foundations of pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 06:41 AM
63

Number one advice I give to pregnant women - GET THE EPIDURAL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 06:32 AM
31

"Normal" as in how men cum? Think about that framing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 06:27 AM
12

I'm a total pickme for kitties. LOVE ME! 😻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 07:30 AM
5

Try the every mother program. It's challenging and post partum ab safe. I found great success with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 07:35 AM
15

Here's a thing to consider - The romanticized version of pregnancy not only obscures the bad things but it also obscures the good things. It does this because its intention is to de-power women. If we know the full picture and the entire reality of pregnancy and parenting, then we will make choices that protect and empower us, rather than feed into the patriarchy. So yes, pregnancy is physically and emotionally demanding. Parenting is physically and emotionally demanding. To mitigate risks need …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 07:23 AM
30

There's also calcium deficiency issues which is where the old wives tale comes from that you lose one tooth for each child. If you're not providing the fetus the nutrients it needs through supplements and food, it will leach it from your body! That is also where women can lose their teeth and bone density from pregnancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:15 AM
19

Have you been checked for diastasis recti? Low back pain is a symptom of ab separation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 10:06 PM
24

These were all pregnancy symptoms for me. Other than the eczema which continues due to hormones from nursing and the gingivitis which took a couple months to heal, they all went away immediately upon giving birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 10:03 PM
47

My son gave me the worst acne. I knew immediately I was having a boy because of it. The pregnancy eczema persists 12mo post partum because he's still nursing 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 10:00 PM
163

Sciatica nerve pain, coccyx pain, pregnancy gingivitis, pregnancy eczema and other skin rashes, heart burn, rib pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 09:44 PM
26

Strategic incompetence is very sneaky and hard to spot until it's too late. 10 years will go by and the husband that would move the moon and stars for you is now pulling out "what's for dinner?" Or "just tell me if you need help." In my marriage, It took the form of him taking for granted the work that I did for my family, being slow to pick up and pitch in, asking way too many goddamn questions for simple requests, verbally having to walk through every chore I asked him to do, a dead bedroom, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 03:44 AM
12

This dumb human thought he was boss. 😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 01:24 AM
51

Finally, the house to myself with the cat 😸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 12:57 AM
39

Meanwhile on broken moms, they're posting about friends who have been murdered by DV
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 12:47 AM
53

If you don't think this is true, you should check out the breaking dads subreddit! Oh wait... 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:09 PM
25

These are the words my therapist told me to use to set this boundary - "this is beyond my expertise. I'm not a therapist." Use it liberally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:39 AM
7

The problem with male-default terms such as “chairman,” “congressman,” and “mankind.” Kleinman saw them together as “another indicator—and, more importantly, a reinforcer—of a system in which ‘man’ in the abstract and men in the flesh are privileged over women.” I love how this is said. Don't reinforce patriarchal systems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:15 AM
23

My husband bought a couch before our first date just in case I came over. If he's serious, he'll make his life available for a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:50 AM
24

I'm a big fan of the hard cutoff. "Is this work related?" No smile. Cold and business like. Set that boundary of work talk only and watch whether he rises to it. That will tell you everything you need to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:20 AM
29

They want women to die
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:09 AM
10

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is a heavy weight indeed. One I am still working on in therapy 20 years later. Cheating is indicative of a personal problem not a relationship problem. Mine was a self worth derived from male validation and total lack of boundaries. I was also selfish, lazy, impulsive, and refused to treat my executive functioning disorder. Did relationship conflict and dissatisfaction bring my issues to a head? Yup. Were my actions caused by my partner? Nope. My acti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 03:58 AM
13

YES
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:21 PM
71

Pray tell how are we responsible for other people's actions?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:18 PM
36

The definition of manhood she outlines here reminds me of a conversation I had with my therapist. She had me write down all the expectations I had of my husband. The list seemed way too long and unrealistic, but when I read it out loud, I realized that these were the expectations I have of myself. These were what I expect myself to bring to a relationship and to my family. Judge Taylor's definition of manhood is the basics that we all deserve and should all aspire to. Put up with nothing less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:28 PM
6

This poor woman has swallowed the jUsT cOmMUnICaTe line so hard that she has turned this on herself and lost sight of clear abusive behavior
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 11:12 PM
17

He was an unpopular teenager. Oh okay 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 10:39 PM
11

Thank you for stickying this comment. The both sides argument is so pervasive that otherwise smart people get caught equating individual interactions ("is my partner present and available emotionally?") with systems of oppression and domination. Rape culture is not a buzz phrase - it is the normalization of sexual violence against WOMEN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 02:14 AM
56

Men literally kill women for not fucking them, but we have unreasonable standards 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 11:57 PM
121

Won't someone think of the men and all their imaginary problems! Let me know when AskMen or any other male focused reddit asks the same question about respecting and making space for a woman's consent with as many rewards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:07 PM
18

I watch every one of her videos. She's amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:40 PM
36

But Cloak’s strict codes of silence seemed to insulate those accused of harming women, staff and members said. No shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:58 PM
7

I can't imagine a single woman getting away with doing no housework simply for having a demanding job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:15 AM
2

Love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:18 AM
10

I've had the same response. As soon as it becomes focused on your pleasure and eager consent, they drop it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:08 AM
9

Yes! Get some and get out 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:01 AM
7

It's a whole porn genre
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:41 AM
41

Right? This is why they protest despite women and children being uncomfortable. It's entirely about their right to speak and move freely through the world and never to do with the comfort and safety of others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:23 AM
1

Zero tolerance for sketchy behavior. It's a slippery slope that leaves abuse and trauma in its wake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 04:07 AM
6

Good call out! Use patronus, not spirit animal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 07:49 AM
18

Remember: the patriarchy depends on our self subjugation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 07:48 AM
19

Modern woman here. Do not be married to your job. Put your career and happiness first! Vet your job like you vet your men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 07:44 AM
7

I have two gorgeous children. And I'm done ✌️ Ready to have my body belong to me again and start working on some ambitious physical goals - marathons, triathlons, swimming. I've also had my career on cruise control and am ready to pedal to the metal! Let's do this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:34 AM
58

Now this is a man supporting his family!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 09:59 PM
2

Self-oppression. So well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 08:13 PM
9

For what? Why?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 05:17 AM
35

I am dumber having read this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 05:02 AM
2

But why? All this work for what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 08:57 AM
3

Ooh! Going to do braless tomorrow! I'm inspired!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 08:57 AM
8

Omg. Thank you for this. You've changed my life 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 07:30 PM
16

Ladies it is never too late to prioritize your orgasm and pleasure over everything else. I have been married for 10 years and despite being married to a man who believes in orgasm equality, I still was mentally prioritizing his pleasure and comfort over mine. After 2 kids, we are working on reviving our intimacy, and I'm now 100% about me. I freely say no, feel no pressure to rush, and completely lean into my own desires. It's amazing. And guess what? He still cums without me even trying. Being …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:43 PM
5

The fact that he posits his computer science degree as proof of his intelligence proves that he is over stating his intelligence. I work with a ton of engineers with CSE degrees from prestigious universities. They are normal and boring people. The most common subjects of conversation? Game of thrones, marvel, and football. The deepest conversations I've seen are on the star trek slack channel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:37 AM
1

Proof that men will fuck and marry and continue to be married to women they don't respect. Shameless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:29 AM
4

The thing about couples therapy is the bulk of the work is not done in the couples part, it's done in the individual counseling. Everyone should be working on their trauma all the time, but a couple shouldn't be needing an expect guide to help them through the forest from the beginning. Individual therapy is preventative medicine, not couples therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:28 AM
10

REFUSING! ALL CAPS AND IN RED! (please pay attention to me 🤡)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:18 PM
4

Oh my god I feel this so much! I know exactly what you're talking about. I've had men do that to me too. Men say they're the logical sex, so I just believe them at face value! You're not interested in me? Okay! It's so sad watching them attempt to play this game of 3D chess that is so pathetically obvious while we sip Champagne and refuse to engage. Like watching an anthropological study.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 09:40 PM
6

This. It's knowing that the game is ultimately rigged against you and making sure to take care of yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:53 PM
4

This took me a long time to understand. When you give to a man, they take it as it's what they deserve and are entitled to. It's why when they are sick, they are man sick. But when a woman is sick and continues to hold up the sky, they assume she was never really sick to begin with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:51 PM
4

The pedestal etc sounds like a lot of love bombing. Its intention is to throw you off balance and ignore red flags. Narcissists never step up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:47 PM
13

I've been married for 10 years and I wouldn't even let my husband take me there for a snack! BURGER KING Y'ALL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 08:11 AM
50

Wow. I'm going to take this boss energy into my whole week. I love it!! 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 08:04 AM
15

I don't even know what this means anymore. Wtf is "natural?" Men state things about women's bodies that make no damn sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:06 AM
2

Wait until this dude finds out they didn't have sex until they were married
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 06:26 AM
6

Thank you for this review,! I bought the book a couple months ago but have yet to open it. This is my sign to do so ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:25 AM
1

You don't "get" raped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:00 PM
29

These guys are so "alpha" they need a girl they can manipulate 😆 I'm so glad I'm 40.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:41 AM
90

/Man consumes women for 25 years to distract himself from the gaping hole in his soul./ /Man blames women for distracting him for 25 years from addressing the gaping hole in his soul./ Women aren't your therapy, bro.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:14 AM
22

Grey rock!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 01:10 AM
31

So strong. So brave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 02:28 AM
105

Men are not our equals. Every complaint and stereotype about women is a projection of male fear. Men seek male approval not women's. Doesn't matter their sexual orientation or if you're their life partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:36 AM
22

And he believes in brutal honesty 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 04:26 PM
53

That would assume he actually wants her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 04:12 AM
13

There's actually a name for this in marketing - bitches in the kitchen Tells you all you need to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 05:31 AM
99

Mothers love their sons and raise their daughters I have both a boy and a girl, and I've purposely worked to do the opposite of your quote. My daughter is a very polite, well-mannered child. I encourage her question, to explore, to be wild, to lift her voice, to take up space. I watch my husband interact with her and guide him away from language that pushes her to perform and conform or praise that encourages her to be small and quiet. I model strength and vulnerability and boundaries as an adul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:54 AM
5

I second blue nile! You can pick out your diamond based on your specific criteria.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:19 AM
12

Okay that's it. You've convinced me to get my own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:10 AM
10

Beautiful 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:09 AM
24

Aw he thinks we're boss babes for them. How quaint.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 08:25 AM
2

So much gaslighting. He didn't even consider for a moment that he was wrong until his cousin called him out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:47 AM
8

My mom and my husband both helped me labor in the hospital during my first pregnancy. My mom was there because she's a nurse and knew what she was doing, and my husband was there because he did the work to deserve to be there. He went to all my appointments, the multi-week long birthing class, read all the books, prepared the nursery, prepped all the meals for postpartum stay, and scheduled all the support for my recovery. On the day of, he held me as I walked around the hospital laboring, rocke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:26 AM
4

You did the best you could, momma. That's more than enough 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 09:13 AM
6

Thank you so much for sharing this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:39 AM
6

I have never regretted not being a virgin. Sex is amazing! What I regret is waiting to have sex for the first time for the wrong reasons and not prioritizing my pleasure.
/r/askFDS20/12/20 06:54 AM
62

The worst thing you can do to them is ignore them and live your life to the fullest without giving them a second thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 02:52 AM
4

It’s time to forget about being lovable. And in fact, it’s time to forsake someone else’s idea of what gives you a spark or no spark. Block the “other” from this picture. No more audience. You are the cherished and the cherisher. You are the eminently lovable and the lover. You are a million brilliant sparks, flashing against a midnight sky. Stop making room for someone else to sit down. Fuck “good” partners. Fuck waiting to be let in. You are already in. You are in. Cherish yourself. This made …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:18 PM
7

Here's another one for you https://youtu.be/2TmscdapDHg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 10:10 PM
36

Reading this, I realize how lucky my husband is that I didn't discovery FDS sooner. He breadcrumbed me for years and didn't change until I was done and ready to leave. Can't tell you yet whether it has been worth the second chance. He is on notice and I'm fully awake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:23 AM
5

I'm so sorry about your dad. Mine passed away earlier this year. I miss him every day. If you ever want to talk, feel free to reach out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:03 AM
19

Yeah that doesn't make a lick of sense. Also yaknow what's really scary? Being pregnant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 03:19 AM
4

Exactly. I already have 2 kids thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:56 PM
4

Great video!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:34 PM
21

"no man cares about that" Everything to them is about male approval and acceptance, even their own lives and accomplishments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 09:16 PM
14

You're not talking to him, right? As soon as he said I love you on the third date, and your gut told you to get the fuck out, you needed to block and run. This is a giant red flag and no explanations of "I need space" or "this is my first relationship necessary." This is not normal behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 05:30 PM
3

Bri McDaniel is my favorite atm https://instagram.com/moonandcheeze?igshid=fd4kru2md66w I'll add more here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:50 PM
6

Aliens?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 07:27 PM
20

Ever heard of Women in Refrigerators? It's a common trope. whereby female characters are injured, raped, killed, or depowered (an event colloquially known as fridging), sometimes to stimulate "protective" traits, and often as a plot device intended to move a male character's story arc forward We're just props in their hero stories
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:45 PM
12

Another one - Diana, Hunter of Bus Drivers https://www.thisamericanlife.org/diana-hunter-of-bus-drivers/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:38 PM
44

She Stalked Her Daughter’s Killers Across Mexico, One by One. Armed with a handgun, a fake ID card and disguises, Miriam Rodríguez was a one-woman detective squad, defying a system where criminal impunity often prevails. For all the movies of men enacting revenge for their murdered wives and kids, the only real life stories I've heard of are about women 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:34 PM
79

I follow a lot of women on instagram that speak very openly and honestly about the good, the bad, the ugly, and the funny of co-parenting, motherhood, birth, and breastfeeding. There is so much beauty and power in their vulnerability, but it's never mainstream. It's a "niche" for other mothers instead of a part of the multicolored tapestry that is being a woman. The white supremacist, capitalist patriarchy is terrified of women knowing their full, collective power. We are isolated, silenced, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:30 AM
13

Exactly. We are this way because of THEIR actions. We watched our grandmothers, mothers, friends' mothers, boyfriends' mothers and learned. We learned the promise of submission is a lie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 12:36 AM
11

Women do this. Women do that. Men need this and women need to cater to our need. What do these guys have to offer US?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 12:29 AM
9

Paul Graham always showing his ass. I blocked him years ago on Twitter. Somehow tech still loves him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 06:13 PM
20

What an incredibly strong woman to come forward with this publicly. Abusers need to be put on blast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 09:36 PM
40

Exactly this. He's not interested in leveling up your career and your relationship from a support position, he wants you to do all the work caring for him and his fantasies. Does he want to be a SAHD because he loves kids? Is his ambition not in the 9-5 grind but in building a family? He needs to have ambition and commitment to something. otherwise he's just lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:05 AM
14

You got this. I also work in a make dominated STEM field and have stopped any bullshit by following these rules: Never do anything for coworkers outside of work related tasks. Have hard boundaries on your time and energy. Keep a tight, short list of work priorities and if someone throws you something sideways, bring it to your manager and reaffirm what should be on that priority list (this is how you discern signal from time wasting noise). Never ever ever help plan a baby shower or birthday par…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:27 AM
32

Outgrowing friends can be so hard. Been through a lot of that this year and it's heart breaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:10 AM
50

Women's labor is seen as a favor, done out of love, in support of others. Men's labor is seen as work. This is backed up by data. Men who lurk here think we are acting like princesses. How should we act when we as a society are socialized to devalue women's contributions? This dude saw his girlfriend's work as "out of love" undeserving of equal reciprocation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 03:50 AM
67

My dead wife would have never cheated on me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 11:15 PM
57

You're reaching your social and financial peak at 38??? Dude 🤣 I knew men were late bloomers, but that's ridiculous. On the flip side, women never peak. Perhaps that's why he's confused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:33 AM
2

Thank you for the tip. Found one right by my work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:08 AM
221

Why are men such gold diggers? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 11:18 PM
60

You should always do what feels right to you. Except not fuck me. Then you're a prude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 06:45 AM
17

I've been wanting to do bjj for forever!! How are you training in covid times?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:08 AM
73

Don't ever sacrifice career opportunities for any man. Even your husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:19 AM
1

37!!! And she's sacrificing career opportunities for him?? If he was "committed," he'd be leveling up her career. There's no reason a 37yo should be learning on a young girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 04:18 AM
6

She meant as a first born, marrying another first born will just result in a power struggle. I didn't listen to her 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:24 AM
93

They have a 4 month old. That he even has time to entertain the fantasy of a second woman shows he's already an absent father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 11:06 PM
37

"husbands are temporary, children are forever" "You're first born. Don't ever date or marry a first born" That's what I remember off the top of my head. I'll have to ask mom for more 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 10:48 PM
119

They think we are competing with children. It's so sad and sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 10:18 PM
5

Their cycles are daily rather then monthly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:58 PM
3

The first thing I thought when I saw this is that this woman most be working her ass off. That's how a woman's house gets to this state.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:53 PM
27

But we're the shallow ones. Right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:39 PM
18

They don't remain relatively consistent. That's the lie we've been told. Men are hormonal!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:05 PM
9

You weren't harsh in the slightest. This 🤡 tried to go straight for the jugular (pathetically) rather than engage in the discussion in good faith. And no, women are not your rehab.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 04:53 AM
3

I found the exact numbers. Women headed households invest 90% of their income into their families, compared to 30 to 40% contributed by men. Evidence from developing countries show that higher household incomes managed by women impact education opportunities for children as well as the survival rates of girl children. Other studies have found women's empowerment within families impacts child nutrition and education levels. Poverty reduction happens at a higher rate when increasing women's engage…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 11:04 PM
3

women are consumers There was that great study that showed that when men earn a dollar they use it to buy smokes and alcohol, adding nothing of value, but when a woman earns a dollar, it multiplies as she invests it in her family and community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:50 PM
2

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:44 PM
1

/snore What a bore!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:43 PM
101

So true. If you have a HV partner, the vulnerability of pregnancy, birth, and parenting can be stepping into your power as a woman. When you don't have that partner, the difference is stark.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:29 PM
47

Capitulated? Sacrificed your power? This is not what healthy consent looks like AT ALL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:25 PM
126

unmoisturized 😆 I'm reading FDS while filing my nails and putting on eye cream and this made me cackle!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:22 PM
100

He isn't being a hypocrite? What bodily sacrifice has he made for his family? This dude should be on his knees worshipping her for the work she's done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 01:05 AM
25

I put myself through school to get into a high paying career, saved enough for 15% down on a 850k house in one of the best school districts in my city for my kids, while supporting my husband through school and underemployment. Where's my roses? Where's my dates?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 01:04 AM
3

"I don't want to do that" The fuck?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 07:44 AM
3

Michelle!! 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 07:10 AM
1

"oh yeah with what money" The fuck??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:47 AM
3

I have a better deal. Men can grill me a steak and blow me every weekend and they can have one day a year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:04 AM
6

Yup yup yup. This dude also probably believes in reverse racism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:26 AM
16

Every time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 04:02 AM
3

We already tried that. Thanks for the gaslighting, asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:34 AM
2

Pure projection. Men are terrified of our ability to create life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 10:19 PM
21

That picture alone is triggering
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 10:01 PM
2

I just thought so highly of him Devastating. My heart breaks for this poor woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 03:05 AM
22

I keep a picture of the ENIAC women in my cubicle so there's no doubt who actually belongs in my profession 👩‍💻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:29 PM
9

My heart went cold when I read this. What a callous, cruel thing to say. My heart hurts for you. You deserve so much more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:25 PM
27

Don't forget the ENIAC! The first programmers we're women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 08:18 PM
7

Doesn't mind at all I'm having a flash back to all the losers I used to date. I "didn't mind" they lived in squalor because I saw it as a stepping stone, not as permanent digs! That was a big fat mistake. It's one thing to be poor, it's another to not have standards. Vet thoroughly and regularly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 07:43 PM
102

They know dick is plentiful but we're supposed to feel shame when we enjoy it 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 03:35 AM
24

This makes me think of the female goddesses, complex and varied, representing sensuality to motherhood to creativity to wisdom. We are divine and designed to be worshipped. Men are a god pretending to be a cloud so he can impregnate a woman by giving her a golden shower 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 05:35 AM
11

Right? I was thinking of all the places I could go unharassed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 05:18 AM
28

No sex unless I cum. It really is that simple. Also man's orgasm is optional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 05:13 AM
21

Notice the positioning of her and the pizza from the perspective of the male gaze. They are both things to be consumed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:59 AM
4

My husband doesn't push my buttons. Who has energy for that??? I do not play.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 10:15 PM
2

Such amazing sex does exist!! And once you know what's possible, you will demand nothing less. And that's the key - once you know your worth and orgasmic sex is your priority, that is the only sex you will settle for and the only type of man you will attract. Selfish men are easy to spot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 10:11 PM
28

Why is this man even talking?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 09:34 PM
21

Look at who is in power. Look at their heroes. Look who men have elected to congress. They have been given carte blanche to be their worse selves from top to bottom with no consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:01 PM
30

They openly admit it on reddit. Their logic for lying is they need to make up hobbies to stand out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:52 AM
2

19-28 was sexy costume time for me. That was fun. Now I dress up in whatever makes my kids amused 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 07:09 AM
3

Buahaha 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 03:17 AM
4

Same. I was like why didn't I do this sooner? Also, I know this could be way better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:51 AM
3

Women's bodies are to be consumed by men, not to be enjoyed by the objectified!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 03:24 PM
18

I get this at work now and then. Some dude from business will question the spec on the code I wrote and then disagree with me when I give them an answer. I quickly learned that men will disagree with no facts to back it up, so I have started calmly questioning, in a very factual, engineer sort of way, to show me how they came to a different answer than me. I let them squirm and mumble and turn red and then finish by saying "I won't give you an answer I don't know to be accurate" and walk away. A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 08:33 AM
30

I feel called out 😅😅😅 Thank you for posting this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:34 PM
8

Done! And my mom, sister, MIL, and SIL! and my husband voted correctly too ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 06:20 AM
39

Next time 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 06:18 AM
29

Yes yes yes! I was just scrolling down to say something similar. I was just telling my therapist this week that in letting go of codependency, I let go of the need to tell my husband everything. He is my life partner, but he is also a man. He is not my best girl friend. He is not my sister. My therapist pointed out that best friend marriages have lasting power, but also often result in a dead bedroom. If I wanted that, I'd live with a girl friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 06:15 AM
61

Right?? "We should have 50/50 gender parity in congress." Oh but that's sexist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 02:33 PM
114

"suck the fun out of everything" aka a woman said no to me. I should know, I have a toddler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 08:27 PM
2

I have gotten more feminist since joining FDS. Y'all inspired me to dig out my bell hooks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 08:21 PM
5

I bet he can cook, too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:33 PM
44

Math has always been my favorite subject 🤩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 06:50 AM
10

MAYA! Such a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:57 AM
2

If only doing the things men say they don't like actually made them leave us alone sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:35 AM
5

Beautifully said
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:33 AM
4

Communication must be backed up by action every time. Even with HVM. Doesn't need to be a nuclear option, it can simply be creating a boundary, but it needs to be backed up by action every time. When men get comfortable, they will start to take you for granted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:22 AM
3

It becomes crystal clear when you interrogate what they did comprehend from your ask. How did you interpret "more around the house?" What assumptions do you make when I say "I need?" Spoilers: you were white noise
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:15 AM
8

A thousand red flags flap in the wind and a sky writer spells out in the clouds BECAUSE YOU'RE ABUSIVE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 01:44 AM
104

Hell I pay people a lot of money to teach my kids during the day, and I see their PAID labor as supporting my career.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:44 PM
30

I remember that too. There was a picture of Ciara's son at Russell's football practice while they were dating. They were goofing together and everyone was smiling and happy, but people were all upset because he was treating this little boy like a father. Men go on and on about the father crisis. That women are raising children and particularly sons alone, that it's bad for kids to not have a father figure, and mothers are shutting dads out. Yet when a HVM treats a single mother as a queen and he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 02:59 PM
39

Oh gods no 😆 I'm usually super suspicious when guys gush too much on social media. These two are a power couple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 05:27 AM
66

I've heard so many stories just like this about him. I don't own one of his jerseys because I don't feel worthy to do so 😆 he truly is kindness and generosity personified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 05:24 AM
88

I read it in the context as them as a family. He's never used that language otherwise. But I hear you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:29 AM
4

"yeah well, whatever"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:49 PM
12

The yelling and clapping is an intimidation tactic to shut her down. I felt anxiety just hearing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:46 PM
9

I did the same. Changed my life!
/r/askFDS25/10/20 07:43 PM
18

"it's not that big of a deal" This is gaslighting. We are so used to people saying this to us that we don't realize it. Don't ever let someone get away saying this to you. Shut it down immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:30 PM
27

You should read The Alchemist. The closer you get to your goal, the harder it will get. The anger you see from those around you is from fear. It is a sign of what they value and not of what your life should or will be. You will level up, they will be in your rear view mirror for a bit, then not on your map at all. It can be hard, you will have to say goodbye to people and places that were once important to you, but they now no longer serve you. That may mean deleting your Facebook, leaving hobby…
/r/askFDS25/10/20 07:23 PM
16

It's okay to feel sad and disappointed. It's okay to feel angry and have crazy thoughts. Don't let that gaslighting voice also tell you that you shouldn't rightfully feel all that. I see so many women (including myself) blame themselves for letting a man bring them down and f-up their heads. This man hurt you! But you are also allowed to want to feel happy. Focus that anxious energy towards things that make you feel good and block ways that may let you act in destructive ways. Block Facebook. Lo…
/r/askFDS25/10/20 07:02 PM
1

Notice he doesnt talk about her standing behind him but dreaming big together. She's amplifying what he already brings and vice versa.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:29 PM
14

Wtf is strong male leadership?? No really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:19 PM
3

Is this how he thinks of himself too? As nothing special, a mere privileged talking primate? It's sad they think so little of themselves and have to bring others down to feel better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:13 PM
83

Tell a man in your life about a mutual acquaintance showing predatory behavior and watch him freeze. All men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:25 AM
23

Reddit alone is full of resources on sex specifically on this topic. Exploring all your erogenous zones, learning all the ways to give you pleasure, can be fun and worthwhile work if and only if it is a priority to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:17 AM
44

No orgasm for him until you cum first. Let him figure it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:30 AM
17

You'll never be one of the guys. You're one of the guys until you're not. Believing you're not like other girls and diminishing other women will never elevate your humanity to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 08:20 PM
60

I found him on quora and reported it to quora and the FBI.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:16 PM
58

For sure. It's all a game to them until some guy takes it seriously and guns down women in the street for "forced celibacy." Ugh. Just writing that makes me feel ill. Our agency and humanity diminished to just a hole a guy is entitled to stick his dick into.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 05:57 PM
235

Wait am I reading this right? He got paid to set up a guy to rape her? Sounds like an red pill revenge fantasy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 05:27 PM
119

"Emotionally stable younger women." That tells you everything you need to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 05:23 PM
22

My mom was just reminding me yesterday to make sure everything is in my name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:49 AM
19

Yes to cooking for a HV new girlfriend!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:44 AM
54

Men are surviving the pandemic on women's work. What makes them think they have any of the skills necessary for the apocalypse?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:27 AM
1

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/hide-youtube-comments/kehdmnjmaakacofbgmjgjapbbibhafoh?hl=en This is the one I use
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:35 PM
20

I use a chrome plugin that blocks them. It's part of my level up strategy 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:18 AM
16

Arguing about condom usage is the biggest red flag holy shit. Get out, girl! RUN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:46 AM
25

Scorpio 😆😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:48 AM
5

My husband bought a damn couch for me to sit on when we were dating so he didn't look like a broke bachelor. You can buy plates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 02:30 AM
2

Wife? She's treating him like a prince.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:15 PM
4

Yup. He's "in hell" because he knows he's replaceable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:16 AM
15

She makes him do all the lawn work but she does 75% of indoor chores and all the cooking. Girl. No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:01 AM
2

This is exactly what I'm going through right now 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 02:49 AM
15

I discovered this when I was in my early 20s. I had a terrible breakup that broke my heart and made me cold and unavailable. I straight up told dudes this. I warned them! I have never had so many guys falling over themselves for me. "I've never met a woman like you before." They should have listened!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 02:46 AM
146

How much more effort is it to be the worst? Also that's cute they think we wouldn't notice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:25 AM
10

Print this out and frame it on the wall 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 05:18 AM
70

Yup. I work in a male dominated industry where men pride themselves on logical thinking and clear concise communication to solve deeply complex problems while working collaboratively to complete them on sensitive timelines. They are fully capable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:57 AM
3

You put money in the pot and pay from there. There's lots of ways to do a financial breakdown with multiple paychecks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 08:50 PM
13

This dude made his wife's labor about him and his feelings. Incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 06:00 AM
25

Can you imagine a man cleaning your shoes??? And she did this on the first date. No. No no no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 03:52 AM
12

Soon they will start getting ideas, and thinking... Women have been burned at the stake for such acts. There is nothing scarier than women congregating and sharing knowledge without male oversight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 06:03 AM
10

So true. Don't be a pick me for people period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:57 AM
40

When I think of my gorgeous children versus male opinions about my body/life, there is no competition. None. Nada.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:50 AM
40

Don't listen to this nonsense from NVM. Their boring opinions on women's bodies have nothing to do with your worth and everything to do with their insecurities. You know how we talk about the wall not existing for women's age? Well it doesn't exist for having babies either. I tell you this as a woman with two kids and saggy stretch marked stomach. I am more beautiful, strong (physically and mentally), and alive than every before. And men let me know constantly how they feel about that. I actuall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 04:44 AM
2

Ding ding ding!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:36 AM
12

Boundaries are loving
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:22 AM
3

I think I have even higher standards for new friends than I do for dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:27 PM
13

I kept mine and did it because it made no logical sense to change it - it's my name! Now that we're 10 years in, I totally understand why people place importance on women taking their husband's name. Keeping it (or changing it to a new name of your choosing) truly is a radical act of self identity that subverts the assumption that a woman is subsumed by her man. It rightfully scares men who are ready to be complacent and those who enable them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 05:34 AM
2

Holy shit this just hit me so hard. I had to beg my husband to help pick up the slack when I was studying full time. Cried every quarter from exhaustion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:52 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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