| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | You're going to tell me to leave him, and I'm going to tell you that I'm not going to, and I don't know why.Thank you. | /r/askFDS | 30/07/21 02:14 AM |
| 4 | What to think about when masturbating?I meant, "someone" sorry! | /r/askFDS | 10/07/21 08:13 AM |
| 23 | What to think about when masturbating?It took me a while, but I had to retrain myself to get off thinking about someone being nice to me! Rubbing my shoulders, taking their time, that kind of thing. When I finally got it, it was so amazing. Edit: autocorrect correction | /r/askFDS | 10/07/21 01:31 AM |
| 25 | Friend says I’m being a ‘psycho’ but I don’t agree. This is a huge red flag right?I agree with the above about the guy, and here to add, I don't think your friend is necessarily a bad person, we've just been gaslighted as women so much that it's hard for her to see why you are uncomfortable. Everybody on here is a little more experienced in this area, so they pick up on the bad signs really quickly. Maybe this is a time for you to show her why you're right, or maybe there's never going to be a time because she's not really your responsibility anyway and she may not be open to… | /r/askFDS | 24/06/21 11:59 AM |
| 25 | The bigger a dude, the nicer he tends to be. I don't even care about height from an aesthetics standpoint, but I don't date short men because they usually have a Napoleon complex and terrible personality.I see your point about it not being the same culturally. On an individual level, allowing yourself to judge someone on their looks but judging others for doing the same is two-faced. I'm just saying, let's keep the bar high for us, too, before we become the hypocrites we preach against. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 01:40 PM |
| 2 | I'm disgusted by male sexuality - what do I do?I can't say I'm 100%, because it hasn't been long enough to know I'm not going to relapse or how to handle it if I do, BUT, once I got the first one right, I was so eager for the second time. The third I read eager for but it took a little longer. The last couple of times have been good, too. I think once the habit is formed I should be good. Getting the first one right just fell in place for me. It was raining, I was listening to biurnal beats, and started going over my list of what would be so… | /r/askFDS | 31/05/21 04:06 AM |
| 7 | I'm disgusted by male sexuality - what do I do?I don't think you're in an easy place to tell. You may not be bi but just turned off by men's behavior. I'm definitely straight, but used to only think about women. Or being used by a man, unfortunately, even though it scared me. Bad programming.I know this sounds weird, but with masturbating to relaxing music and repeating in my head what would be nice for a man to do (not make me beg for time, love to make me happy and do it often, kind and honest, for examples) I've been able to train myself … | /r/askFDS | 29/05/21 12:08 AM |
| 4 | Recent dating experienceThere's no reason to be down into yourself here! It's not easy to jump from anxious to confident, it takes practice. I'm not fully there, and maybe I never will be, but recognizing the red flags is huge. You're going in the right direction! You're awesome for even seeing his problems, even though you're double thinking yourself. I know you know, but he's not that great. Like, for reals, you can do much better than someone that treats you like this, even though he's not the worst person in the wo… | /r/askFDS | 23/05/21 05:30 PM |
| 6 | Moving on from NVM ex and finding your inner strength..I third Lundy Bancroft. Also listening to the guided meditations of Kenneth Soares helped build my inner understanding and strength. | /r/askFDS | 22/05/21 11:33 PM |
| 4 | Flowers???Straight here, just here to say I love your username. | /r/askFDS | 18/05/21 05:23 PM |
| 49 | Best line of this movie: Astrid leaves her cheating husband who blamed her for his actions and inability to be a real manThis timing is so relevant to me. I'm just finishing up the trilogy. She is my favorite character. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/20 06:10 AM |
| 6 | What a HVM looks like from a daughter’s perspectiveI really need to hear all the HVM stuff I can get, thank you for sharing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/20 04:39 AM |
| 3 | Opinions needed! New here :)I'm in a similar position, where he loves to be a dad to his kids, but he does not have healthy boundaries with them because of guilt he feels from not being able to be a full-time dad (custody is split 70/30 due to state laws). Unless he can develop good boundaries with his kid, things are not going to go well. | /r/askFDS | 05/12/20 04:27 PM |
| 20 | Do you know of any examples of High Value Men? Do you have any type in mind when doing the work on FDS?Nobody is perfect. I consider myself a HVW, but I'm not a perfect one. I love the idea of your sub and I just joined it, and I love FDS, but focusing on HV actions is probably a much more realistic and achievable goal then a perfect person. Of course, we can all have imperfections that don't take us out of the high value category. But even the unofficial FDS mascot, Gomez Addams, demonstrates traditional thoughts about women, such as they should do the cooking, and men be in charge of money. I s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/20 02:49 AM |
| 4 | I am gaslighting myself!One thing I do when I find myself in the same situation is guided meditation to help refocus myself on me, instead of him. I really like Kenneth Soares for that, and Sara Blondin. I find them on the free app Insight Timer, and you can find them on YouTube and I think Spotify, too. | /r/askFDS | 26/10/20 02:14 AM |
| 8 | Trying to dissect why my relationship broke apartDid you know it takes two years to know somebody? So many people can fake it for some time, but their lazy true colors eventually show. There is no such thing as a honeymoon phase, that's just an urban legend to justify a guy to stop putting in work in the relationship. He's shallow, he just stopped, glad you're rid of him now instead of down the road when you were more attached while he was duping you. | /r/askFDS | 22/10/20 01:05 AM |
| 3 | So sweet! This man just set the bar a lot higher for me. I guess this video has been around for months, but it's my first time seeing it.Thank you so much for the link!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/10/20 01:51 AM |
| 5 | Can a HVM still casually hook up if she’s not currently looking to be in a relationship?Nope. And you already know the answer. Anyway, why are you hanging around with someone who doesn't want a relationship? Do you want a relationship with her? Then your answer is no. Do you want a serious relationship with anyone? Then your answer is no. Do you want a casual relationship? Then you wouldn't be asking this question. The End. | /r/askFDS | 18/10/20 07:22 PM |
| 1 | What are you daily affirmations/ mantras? Inspire meCheck out Kenneth Soares on YouTube, or Insight Timer, or wherever. He's got so many good meditations with positive affirmations. | /r/askFDS | 13/10/20 10:40 PM |
| 10 | What posts do you enjoy seeing on FDS and what would you like to see more of?I was coming here to say this. All of this. This is another vote for exactly this. My personal summary: more on good and healthy, less on things that are not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/10/20 04:29 AM |
| 24 | Is he LVM?Yes, he's LVM. Talk is cheap, what is he doing that actually shows you he wants to be an equal partner, and care for you? I see nothing concrete, just words, and he has it better off now that you're around to do the cleaning. | /r/askFDS | 11/10/20 05:28 AM |
| 12 | He has hurt me, but i dont want to hurt him.It can take time away from him to get the right perspective about him. Try two months. | /r/askFDS | 10/10/20 10:17 PM |
| 2 | Why don’t guys understand that women just prefer tall dudes! It’s biology!I don't like this post. I've thought about it all day, and I want to be honest. I understand your point, but please see mine. My son is 14. He's going to be short, like me. I am doing everything in my power, and succeeding, for him to be a HV person. I casually ask him about girls, and he said he doesn't even try, he's short and he knows girls like tall guys. I tell him all the things that are true when we talk about things amongst ourselves: those that shallow weed themselves out, look for inte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 04:59 PM |
| 1 | If you are serious about levelling up, you need to get comfortable with taking accountability for your actions and behavioursIf we started a women subreddit for stoicism, would you want to help with content and moderate it? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 12:52 PM |
| 1 | If you are serious about levelling up, you need to get comfortable with taking accountability for your actions and behavioursWould yall be able to help me with content and moderate it? I've been thinking a lot about it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 12:49 PM |
| 1 | If you are serious about levelling up, you need to get comfortable with taking accountability for your actions and behavioursWould yall be able to help me with content and moderate it? I've been thinking a lot about it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 12:49 PM |
| 1 | FDS helped me recognize how I was not doing my son any favors the way I let him treat meLet me clarify, sorry, I was focusing on my kid and left out too much about my parents. I don't accept it, I just don't go out of my way to change it. I keep them at arm's length, speak to them on the phone weekly or bimonthly, have no deep conversations, find something else to do and hang up if they start getting out of control. I meant that I don't try to have a better relationship with them, I accept them for who they are and keep them in my life as much as is healthy for me, which is less th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 02:16 PM |
| 3 | Girls any tips on how not to get attached? Or how to detach? I’ve been ghosted and I just can’t move past it.Ugh, I'm failing at finding the YouTube videos I want, because I use Insight Timer. But you'll easily find ones that will help you. Please give it a try! | /r/askFDS | 27/09/20 12:36 AM |
| 10 | Girls any tips on how not to get attached? Or how to detach? I’ve been ghosted and I just can’t move past it.Guided meditation helps me! "Insight Timer," is a free app, but YouTube has a bunch too. It helps me reiterate radical acceptance, and self love, and how much what they do is not my fault and out of my control. How letting go is hard because the issue is my own issue, and how to gently realize that. Kenneth Soares and Sarah Blondin are two of my faves. Kenneth uses a certain frequency sound, so be prepared because it sounds a little weird at first, but he has great positive messages. Let me see … | /r/askFDS | 27/09/20 12:29 AM |
| 8 | Porn, prostitution and marriage are just big rape machinesMy husband raped me multiple times in front of our toddler. I didn't even recognize it as rape! I just thought I was helping him calm down so he wouldn't hurt me (he was highly abusive.) It's so messed up, it took a lot of thought to realize that I didn't want it to happen and he forced me, and that is rape, even married. So much unprogramming I had to do, and still at it. That was over ten years ago. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 04:12 AM |
| 10 | If you are serious about levelling up, you need to get comfortable with taking accountability for your actions and behavioursI love stoicism, too! My favorite author is Rudyard Kipling, and I discovered it through him. I had no idea so many women identified with stoicism, this is great! We should start our own femalestoic subreddit! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 07:36 PM |
| 6 | Crossposting this submission so people can see just how much Porn culture has made sex completely unenjoyable for women and makes many of us feel like interlopers in our own sexual experiences.Yes, the abuse! On my original post, a commenter said she went through a time of watching gay male porn because it didn't involve women getting abused (though it has its own issues.) Exactly that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 01:05 AM |
| 8 | Crossposting this submission so people can see just how much Porn culture has made sex completely unenjoyable for women and makes many of us feel like interlopers in our own sexual experiences.It's my post, and after reading and thinking about the comments on it, I think it's because girls are what makes porn sexy. Porn doesn't show guys or male anatomy as sexy. They're not even nice to the girls, or dressed well. It's all about guys and what they want, even girl-on-girl porn, and that's how I think. I think I'm so messed up in my head. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 12:54 AM |
| 2 | High value men in movies/tv?I loooove that movie!!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 12:44 AM |
| 3 | I'm tired of viewing men as the enemy.Hey man, I feel ya. And I can't promise it will happen. We may not live in a time or place where men capable of healthy relationships are available. Maybe other countries have higher quantities of HVMs, but I don't know. I just know it's better than living miserable with an LVM, at least for me, and that's the best we might be able to get. Maybe I'm wrong! And just because the odds are low doesn't mean it won't happen! Life's not fair. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/20 11:53 PM |
| 2 | Question about sex/getting off emotionally healthilyI didn't know those subs existed, thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 06:11 PM |
| 2 | It's not that I'm strong enoughDitto, very nice to meet you, and hit me up any time you want to vent or whatever :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 02:18 AM |
| 1 | It's not that I'm strong enoughI'm not sure why my account is tagged as throwaway, dang. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 11:10 PM |
| 4 | It's not that I'm strong enoughWe ARE the same person!! I have the same story! Incredibly abusive relationship, went to therapy, read lots of good books, picked better and better people, found, "the one," and things were easy and awesome and he was responsible and fun. I did my due diligence! I did my homework! We also got married for insurance reasons, but it wasn't rushed. And now, just like you, he slacked. Wth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 11:10 PM |
| 12 | I used to lurk here a lot when I was trying to date, and now I have a high value man which I thought I'd never find and there's so much stuff that I've never seen before because I've only seen low value men in relationships. Here are some things you see in high value relationships!I've got a disability, too! (spinal cord injury) I find it helps weed out a lot of LVMs real quick. BUT, I agree that you never can let your guard down about how you're being treated no matter how long you've known them. That's my personal recent revelation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 06:24 PM |
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