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rmorlock Archive

View 15 posts and 230 comments by rmorlock on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

I'm sorry man but I was/ am in the same boat. Look up Walkaway Wife. When they are done they just discard you and the family. It sucks. We are here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 03:10 PM
2

Post away, brother. We are men that support men in rough times.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 03:01 AM
2

Welcome to the club we never wanted to join. Try r/survinginfidelity as well.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 06:07 AM
15

This right here. She is just trying to justify it. Keep living a good life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 08:08 PM
11

I remember one time I commented about in r/divorce about how my wife made false rape allegations against me and someone commented that I probably did rape my wife, I just forgot about it. I unsubbed and never looked back. On the other note I found that r/survivinginfidelity is a very gender neutral site and was very helpful. That was a few years ago. I'm not sure if the current climate. I hope it still is, it was a huge help for me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 04:08 PM
4

yep it was petty. ​ Live and learn.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 03:18 AM
3

Yep. I actually talked to Amy therapist about this. He basically said that most men bottle everything and these events commonly uncork everything.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 01:01 AM
7

Same exact thing happened to me except we were only married 13 years. I truly thought she was a virtuous outstanding woman. She then cheated on me and claimed DV because I paid the bills or something. I still dont understand. I truly thought she was my soulmate and we would grow old together.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 02:46 AM
4

Fool me once...
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 07:52 PM
21

I would start talking about an early retirement with your wife now. Get some documentation that you were thinking and planning it BEFORE you serve her. I would even go to the doctor and then tell her that the doctor is recommending you reduce the stress in your life and that you want to retire when your kid moves out or something.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 07:36 PM
4

Oh man, My ex agreed at mediation but refused to sign the paperwork at trial so the judge just signed it for her and wrote "Present put refused to sign"
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/22 09:54 PM
8

Grass isn't always greener. Sit down and talk to your wife. Tell her how you feel (not about new girl) and have a real conversation with her. Remember, you are going to be blowing up her life as well. Is it worth it?
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 11:57 PM
53

Please, go give your dad a hug and tell him that despite everything you love him and you see him struggling, but you are proud of him.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 10:03 PM
1

No no no.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 03:56 PM
6

Be prepared to be cheated on. Be prepared to be left with no answers. Be prepared to only see your kids on the weekend.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 04:13 PM
5

My ex and I were a complete stalemate but eventually her adultery partner, whom she brought with, got bored or something and she ended up agreeing to just about everything I had on the table just to leave. The only thing I had to give up was she was allowed 5 years to refinance the house instead of needing to do it right away. No Alimony, almost no child support, She has almost 300k of student loans I am off the hook for.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 04:56 PM
19

How long? It has been three years for me so I will let you know. Some people it seems to take a few weeks, others a lifetime. It really depends on you. One bit of advice is remember, you are in love with the woman that you married, you are not in love with the woman you divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 07:03 PM
4

You leave the apron strings when you get married. Choose your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 06:51 PM
1

Did you actually see her or just her car? Was she all dolled up and looking good, or more everyday wear.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 01:28 AM
5

Nothing is "wrong" with you. You fell in love. She didn't. You know what you need to do. The wrong thing is to not do it. First thing first. . . find a lawyer, ASAP. Second thing, find a therapist then a gym. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 08:35 PM
1

She did but my lawyer pointed out that she was the only one that gained the benefit AND while I was contributing for to the household by working, she was contributing for to the household getting loans.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 09:40 PM
2

Not necessarily. My ex had 300k in student loans from after we got married. After the divorce I was on the hook for 0.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 05:13 PM
23

Yep this!!! If you do reconcile, the case can always be dismissed but you need to protect yourself and you child NOW.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 04:33 PM
1

Get a lawyer asap
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 07:08 PM
2

This is where filing first may give an advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/21 05:23 PM
2

You may want to try r/asoneafterinfidelity. It is a subreddit for those trying to reconcile after infidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 11:35 PM
20

No.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 01:57 PM
4

Your in for a nice bonus each month. Use this to negotiate something if you do t want it but don't just give this away.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/21 01:59 PM
3

for starters good job on a good relationship with the ex. Five year olds are notorious for being weird eaters. Does she eat at her grandparents? A friends? Keep putting food in front of her she will come around. Did you or her mom do most of the cooking when you were together? Try ordering a pizza and she if she eats any of that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/21 02:39 AM
1

I can't add any more words of wisdom than what's already been said but I can say we are here for you man. We all know how much this sucks and how the deck is stacked against you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/21 10:15 PM
4

This is great advice for everyone. A lot of men really suck at communicating when they are angry.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/21 07:42 PM
3

Yep I often wish I was more aggressive and beat the living crap out of him, but that would have been used against me. She lied and said she was a dv victim and that is raped her but the fact I did not even touch him kind of proves that I didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/21 09:35 PM
5

Same here. Wife of 14 years had an affair with my buddy. I also describe it as a hand germane to the family! Now she thinks she can dictate AFFTER our divorce and. Custody battle. What was I thinking when I said "I Do". I'll never make that mistake again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/21 08:42 PM
1

About the restraining order. I don't know about every state but in Washington all diverse filings get a restraining order in them, it is practically automatic. It should restrain both parties.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 11:13 PM
3

Did you purchase the house before or after the marriage? She is entitled to half the equity since the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 10:48 PM
1

Careful man. You won and now she is going to feel like she needs to get even. My ex escalating into saying I raped her. Judge threw it out as well. Just be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/21 05:56 PM
3

Man your in the worst part right now. I can't tell you when it goes away because it is different for everyone. Just keep moving forward
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/21 09:19 PM
1

I did but when it wasn't returned I stopped.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/21 11:11 PM
5

Good luck brother. We are all pulling for you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/21 05:07 PM
5

Yep, although her AP was a friend of mine who was using me to get to her. Both are jackasses
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 04:30 PM
16

This is the way! Just don't marry.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/21 09:13 PM
-9

You can't think of it like that, you'll drive yourself crazy. The money that was earned was used to support the family. The money is the family money. She took half of the family money. You took half of the family money. If you did not think she was working up to your expectations you could have fired her years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/21 09:12 PM
0

Look up "Lucy" by zwarte.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 04:37 PM
1

I got a side (and third) huddle. It all got factored in to my total income. I don't make much, less than 10k/yr so it didn't affect it that much.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 10:47 PM
2

Man I wish I was in an at fault state.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 07:49 PM
1

Sc is an at fault state. You should be good to go.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 07:34 PM
1

What state? A lot of people think they are in a motherhood state when in reality they are not.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 06:48 PM
6

My biggest regret was something about her not letting her loser boyfriend around the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/21 03:43 AM
1

My ex tried that and got no where. My lawyer said it was a Hail Mary attempt and are seldom successful.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/21 06:35 PM
8

Wish I was 21 and someone told me not to get married.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 08:34 PM
3

Did you commingle your money? Did she help with the mortgage payment at any point.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 08:14 PM
3

I've heard of it happening but it seems to be rare.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 03:40 PM
3

Great.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/21 11:39 PM
3

I'd love to here how this turns out. Why does she think it is falsifying documents?
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/21 11:32 PM
3

No dont do this. This is not abduction. There is nothing that says a parent can't take their kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/21 03:26 AM
2

Just don't gloat all the way to the bank. Your kids are watching.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/21 05:16 AM
1

How far did she move? It sounds like it is another school district? Did she change the child's schools? How far away is it? There is a big difference if the child moved 5 miles to moved 100 miles.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/21 11:25 PM
1

This is important and affects slot of us. My ex accused me of DV and raping her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/21 11:24 PM
1

Yep, until you go to court. You can ask the judge for your half.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/21 06:41 PM
2

Hey man. Check out r/survivinginfidelity It got me through dark times after I found out about my cheating ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/21 12:13 AM
1

Breaking the agreement isn't going to look great but if their is no court order keep them as long as you want. Stand up for yourself or the judge is just going to keep the status quo.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/21 04:11 PM
1

Some has to request it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 08:36 PM
3

My ex got all of ours. Courts punted it and said that they don't have jurisdiction to change it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 06:30 PM
5

What state. That makes a world of difference. In Washington It is definitely an up hill battle. You have to think. Is she really neglecting the child if she is with you? What is your states definition of child neglect?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/20 07:06 PM
2

Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/20 06:12 PM
1

So how do you know she CAN make that much. What has she made prior. Honestly if she is making 75 and you 80. The court may just say no alimony is warranted. A good lawyer can fight for that easily.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/20 04:39 PM
2

How much do you make?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/20 04:29 AM
2

We've all been there, brother. It gets better. Don't beat your self up. Its okay to be weak. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be angry and pissed off. But EVERYTHING you do, do for your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/20 03:01 AM
2

Run, brother. Just run.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/20 03:39 PM
5

IF you do move forward with divorce, ensure you get temp orders right away. DO NOT WAIT. In the temp orders ensure behavior like this is prohibited.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/20 08:27 AM
9

How in the world can she try to take your retired parents property? Anyways good on you for setting real boundaries.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/20 08:28 PM
4

Congrats man.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/20 01:33 AM
12

I didn't celebrate, I mourned.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/20 09:29 PM
1

How old is the kid?
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/20 06:26 AM
3

Just keep noting the inconsistencies.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/20 03:52 PM
3

My case was in the states, but my wife also lied about me raping and abusing her. Judge didn't care. Does she have evidence, or is it truly her word vs yours.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/20 03:48 PM
2

Woot hooo. Congrats.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/20 11:28 PM
1

we have three kids so the youngest alternates. The problem was that I agreed that 2018 she could take all three and we would s tart with the 2019 that I would get two kids she gets one kid etc etc.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/20 10:55 PM
7

I walked for hours as well. It was way better than drinking and other substances.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/20 04:39 PM
5

Mediation is a negotiation. You can try to get the house but it will be an uphill battle.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/20 09:34 PM
5

Love stories like this!
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/20 10:32 PM
5

My ex claimed I raped her too. The judge did t care. It hurts, a lot, but in my case her lies and no bearing in the custody decision It did serve as a reminder that I can't take her back, even when I'm at my weakest.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/20 01:30 PM
1

possibly. Who knows how many people my ex has been sleeping with! I got to give her credit, she mastered the double life!
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/20 11:48 PM
9

She needs to lie about you to justify destroying her family and making her kids cry. My ex accused me of rape, DV, theft, etc etc. Nothing stuck as the judge saw through EVERYTHING. Buckle up, it is a hell of a ride.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/20 07:54 PM
4

My ex hit me with her car. I got the initial order, but when the trial happened I didn't have enough evidence. Not even with my medical file, police report, and witnesses.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/20 10:40 PM
6

South Carolina is a fault state. The judge definitely can (May or may not) look at your adultery when deciding.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/20 07:47 PM
2

I hear you man, I'm in the same boat (accept the dude my wife is screwing is young enough to be our kid). Just know that it gets better. The pain goes away after awhile.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/20 06:35 PM
2

Yeah just amend. Point out the change and move on. No one should care.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/20 02:17 AM
3

what state? CPS can not over ride a court order in many states. You should still get due process.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 11:42 PM
1

I get that, but how significant is the change? Did you win the lottery or become CEO of Disney? Did you loose your job and decide to pursue a degree in underwater basketweaving?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 11:27 PM
1

Not really. How much are you changing?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 10:10 PM
2

You've been married less then two years and she makes just $400 less then you. Don't worry about it. Get the paperwork started and be glad their is no kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/20 11:15 PM
1

two years out and this is my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/20 12:06 AM
3

Update us on Friday how it went. We are rooting for you, that this is easy for you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/20 06:34 PM
1

My income and her imputed income were similar. Plus we have 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/20 10:55 AM
5

I am one year out of my Washington State Divorce. Like the other posters have said there is a calculator. That calculator assumes one parent has a vast majority of the time. with 50/50 you can pretty much half the amount. I have three kids, and I pay $16.00/month (yes 16 for three kids). Alimony is going to be on the table, but it is something to negotiate. There really is not a "set" amount. I don't pay alimony, instead I negotiated her living in the home (while taking over payments) for 5 year…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/20 04:49 AM
3

Only you can say if it is right or wrong for you. I'm two years post separation and I still have no intention of dating.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/20 02:23 PM
8

I think you should post this on here: https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcAbuseAndDivorce/
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/20 04:09 PM
2

Thank you for making my point.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/20 02:55 PM
3

Funny I don't need to look at you post history to tell this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/20 02:46 PM
1

How is SHE going to make your life a living hell?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/20 02:39 PM
1

I joined a whatsup support group for men and somehow I started getting their pics on my phone.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/20 03:14 AM
1

I have a 7/7. I garden heavy! It's fun. I can't wait for the gym to open again.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/20 03:04 AM
6

I'm the same way. Separated in August of 2018 divorced August 2019. I've been on a few dates and I realized I just wasn't ready. I couldn't stop feelings that it was just going to end the same. I have no desire to be in a relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/20 05:06 AM
2

What your lawyer says will always trump what reddit says. Remember that! You don't need to be about money, but you can use it as a bargaining chip.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 12:52 AM
2

I hope you go after alimony as well as child support. Getting a good lawyer pays for itself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 12:24 AM
2

Always frame the argument on what is best for the child. You are best for the child. Two equal parents are best for the child.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 12:23 AM
1

No throw it back at her. A five year old boy needs his father and her attempts and removing you as the central male role model is what is unstable.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/20 10:35 PM
1

I fought tooth and nail in Washington I won 50/50. Ex claimed dv and when that did my work wrote in the official court records that I raped her. When that didn't work she said I was unfit because I saw a therapist. How old is your kids?
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/20 10:29 PM
3

For some it does. Im about 18 months out from desperation and it hasn't yet.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/20 04:25 PM
2

This is most likely the correct answer. Someone else saw the crazy. Are you done with Court? If not, as soon as court is over WATCH OUT!!
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/20 11:26 PM
5

sorry man. It seems that 12-13 years is when women walk away. It is more common than not even in seemingly happy relationships. It is reason #1 that I won't get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/20 10:45 PM
13

Just remember. You didn't have an affair. Her affairs says a lot about her, but the only thing it says about you is you have integrity.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/20 06:18 PM
5

One thing my ex did was as soon as she served me she took ALL the pics of the kids. Start gathering a few special ones.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/20 03:58 AM
3

First paragraph you wrote is me to a tee. Second paragraph I know but accepting this is hard.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/20 06:48 AM
5

When I discovered my wife's affair I was suicidal.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/20 08:36 PM
4

Don't do it!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/20 05:17 AM
3

Does she also restrict bringing anyone she is romantically involved with around the kids? This type of double standard seems to be common.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/20 03:57 PM
3

This is good advice. I spoke with 4 attorneys and picked the one that seemed to really get it and did not give me a bunch of BS. What really sold me was she asked me a lot of questions about the kids, like she was interviewing ME as well as me interviewing her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/20 11:44 PM
10

She makes more. You should try to get alimony for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/19 10:25 PM
3

I don't have to worry about it. My excouldn't get me the kids fast enough. Literally this was the only time she has actually been on time for a drop. She's got some three week vacation she has to go on. Its ok, I'll take them WHENEVER.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/19 10:14 PM
3

Welcome to the club! Might I suggest r/survivinginfidelity
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/19 07:34 PM
1

more than ridiculous, it is tragic.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/19 09:36 PM
1

Me too. Thanksgiving was always my day. I made the turkey and pies. I picked up a few extra shifts at work with holiday pay so I'm feeling pretty good. Great distraction!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/19 03:17 AM
1

yes get a lawyer! Of course you don't have her best interests at heart, you have your best interests. She has hers.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/19 05:28 PM
5

You can file for contempt. I'm sure you have written documentation asking for her to stop this or to give you more notice.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/19 05:45 PM
10

Yep. At this point don't be surprised if she starts playing the DV card or the rape card. My ex did and I never in a million years would have thought she would of went so low, but she did. All women (and men probably) are capable of hitting low.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/19 08:50 PM
5

No its not wrong to feel bad for your wife. You built your life around her and that is ending. Its going to take time, and remember she is still and always will be the mother to your children. When she suffers, your kids will.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/19 04:44 PM
4

I guess I stand corrected.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/19 09:35 PM
2

You had an affair. Don't try to justify it by saying it was a loveless marriage. I bet your wife still loved you, at least she did not have an affair. With that said, its been six months at least. Stop wallowing in pity and gets some professional help. Sounds like you are depressed.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/19 09:00 PM
7

Married less than five years? Don't worry to much about alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/19 05:21 AM
11

Positive separation stories? Yeah, it lead to a divorce! What kind of positive stories are you looking forward. There is a lot of reconcilliation stories throught reddit and tons of stories of people moving on. What is positive for you? When I got divorced, my ex and I were email backing and forth and she told me to stop gloating after "winning" the divorce. I told her that it is impossible that I "won" the divorce. If I would have "won" we would be trying to make it work and we would not be div…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/19 05:21 PM
5

The bank doesn't care about the divorce. They only want their money. If he defaults they will 100 go after you. I had a hold harmless clause put in my divorce that said if my ex defaults on the debts I can go after her to recover money.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/19 02:05 PM
1

Thanks. This was more of a rant- get it off my chest than looking to go to court. It sucks, but your right, besides from turning some not so good friends against me. I am not harmed. When we were still going through the court process she often would make these reckless accusations and then back off when the judge was not buying it. She even accused me of raping her at one point. I'm just glad to be done!
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/19 09:27 PM
1

My wife filed first. I think the biggest difference is really that she had time to plan and strategize. I was truly caught unaware, so while she had an entire year to plan and mourn the death of the marriage, I only had a few days. Then I was so hopeful to reconcile that I would have given her everything. I believe this is also why their is a waiting period of 90 days (in washington) So that the spouse caught off guard has a chance to breathe. In the end she tried to slow the divorce down and I …
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/19 07:29 PM
2

She will bring it up. The judge won't care. Just be prepared when she brings it up.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/19 08:59 PM
7

WOOW Slow down there, Soldier. For starters, I believe Texas is a no-fault state. The courts will not care why you are getting a divorce at all. You both start at the a zero. Don't Move OUT!!! Whatever you do do not move out. How old is the kid? You will likely be able to impute her income to full time at minimum wage. She CAN work, but is choosing not to. What is the difference between that and what you are making. You may end up paying for alimony for a few years or not at all. DON"T MOVE OUT.…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/19 08:53 PM
13

I'm sorry man, but I'll bet she is seeing someone. It happened to me. Get a lawyer. You can't stop it. Also DONT MOVE OUT it was one of my biggest regrets.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/19 03:24 AM
9

no you don't need a reason, just irreconcilable differences
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/19 08:06 PM
6

Good job. My Narcissitic Ex filed an antiharrassment order against me. It got put in place, but as soon as I got to court it got thrown out. She had lied multiple times in her declaration and I was able to prove it out. Good job for you. Keep your head on a swivel and keep your kids close.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/19 04:18 PM
0

Why are you now opening a child support case? Did something change?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/19 03:21 PM
3

We share 50/50 custody and my lawyer was able to impute her income income to be just about mine. It is totally legit too. She has a higher education and longer working in her field. She earned more throughout the marriage but is now unemployed going back to school. She basically wanted me to pay her to go to school. The judge saw straight through that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/19 03:14 PM
4

yes. VERY normal as part of discovery.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/19 07:07 PM
4

What is you custody like now? Why would you move if your ex moves? Your kids would be established in school (at least one of them) soon and the courts would probably side with you getting custody as to not disrupt the kids. It kind of sounds like you are overthinking possibilities. Who cares what your ex would want. Go have more kids with this amazing woman if YOU want to.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/19 07:07 PM
6

Same with mine!!! She wanted $3,000/month in spousal support and $1000/month in child support. The final divorce ruling has me paying $15.00/month total (yes $15). I even offered her more than that before mediation just to be done and she declined it. A good lawyer is worth it! She, as a narcissist, thought she could go pro se.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/19 03:33 PM
6

I am so sorry man. I have not been through it. I don't have any advice other than keep on being a strong dad for your kids. You set the example for honesty and integrity for your kids. Good luck man.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/19 11:22 PM
3

Oh man, KEEP US UPDATED!
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/19 04:18 PM
1

I've never heard of this, but it sounds fishy. What happens when you don't agree? Won't you just have to head to court anyways? I think it would just be better to go the full route.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/19 04:15 PM
2

I put on podcasts all night. That way when I wake up I can focus on the talking and not dwell on my ex. Its worked well so far.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/19 05:30 PM
1

I do week on/week off. Kids get on the bus at my house Friday Morning after spending the week with me and get off at her house Friday afternoon and spend the week with her. It works out great and I don;t have to deal with her at all. Plus I can plan and schedule a lot of things.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/19 04:54 PM
3

she is entitled to half of the equity earned from the marriage. You will have to come to an agreement on the home worth in 2015 and the home work in 2018. She gets half of the difference.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/19 03:47 PM
1

I don't think so. Are you legally seperated?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/19 05:11 PM
1

I'm sorry man but it did not make her feel guilty. She lost the other guy and is lonely and you are easy. Please man, please if you go back to her, don't set yourself up for failure.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/19 05:10 PM
1

my boy! She was with this guy for 18 months and then came back to you. I hate to say it but you are her second choice. Why did she break up? Are there kids? I'm sorry friend but it is time to move on. Also, check out r/survivinginfidelity and chumplady.com to help with some perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/19 05:09 PM
1

WOW. My wife agreed to take on all of her student loan ($430k YES half a million) and the court did not even blink at it. Did you go to a mediation? Anyways when we were preparing arguments my lawyer had a couple of strategies to get out of the student loans. Did she work while she was going to school? Don't worry about this too much. A good lawyer will get you out having to pay more, probably. They will argue that she gets all of the future benefit from it so she should take on more of it. They…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/19 06:14 PM
2

Stay safe! Its amazing what they come up with. I hope your not worried about the accusations at the divorce proceedings. It seems judges truly don't care. My wife also filed an antiharrassment against me that was thrown out immediately. The judge even slapped her hand a little bit.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/19 05:38 PM
1

She appealed to the state Supreme Court? What was her argument? There's going to be another hearing, right?
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/19 05:34 PM
2

My Dude! When our ex's don't get there way they cry to who ever will listen. The list of the things my ex accused me of while we were going through the process is staggering. She accused me of: rape, DV, hacking her email/bank/anything else/stealing from her, being a deadbeat dad(when she owed me childsupport); getting HER fired, preventing her from getting a job, etc etc. The judge did not care about any of it. Not one thing and when she tried to bring it up he SHOT HER DOWN.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/19 05:32 PM
6

ok. I'll sign up.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/19 10:27 PM
2

Get a lawyer. Simple as that. Get a lawyer. There was a case a while back where a man forged his wife's signature on the court papers and the divorce was thrown out and the husband was put in jail. It was considered perjury.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/19 04:18 PM
2

You are not going to settle this at the pretrial hearing. From my understanding this is just the judge asking what the status is and making sure the dates are set. There is not going to be any testimony. You probably don't need to be there. BUT if your STBX is going to be there, you should probably be there.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/19 04:15 PM
3

This is good. It should be stickied! Absolutly correct on the "She has moved on long ago." It sucks, but its true.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/19 04:12 PM
1

It kind of depends on how old the three children are.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/19 03:23 PM
3

Who is making these attempts? I hope it is not you. You can hire a process server. It is there job to find the person, get through security etc and usually they are very good at what they do. It cost me about $100 to get my ex served some documents. Is your wife actually fighting the annulment? Can you just call her and tell ther that someone is going to serve her and figure out a time to do that?
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/19 07:55 PM
3

Hey man. I hope I'm wrong, but if she makes double you, she is going to lawyer up so fast your head is going to spin. Be prepared for that. As soon as you say you are not looking for spousal support you are going to have a hard time getting it. I know you want a clean break, but it is not going to be clean. You can always demand the moon and negotiate down. I wish I had lawyer up right away but we tried to make it amicalble until my exwife (the highter earner by about 40K/year) stopped talking t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/19 07:28 PM
1

I always thought that that someone having more kids would not affect the amount of child support by itself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/19 03:57 AM
3

HEY I'm just north of Seattle. Sorry I don't know anyone on the east side, besides you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/19 11:09 PM
4

Can an uber driver sign you out? It may be time to ask a golfing buddy for help?
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/19 09:13 PM
2

If you pay anything it won't be for long.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/19 05:25 AM
16

Ok seriously. I always though I used all the toilet paper. Hell no I am amazed at how little toilet paper I use! Like seriously what did she do with all that toilet paper?
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/19 03:01 AM
1

You left out a few very important details: 1: What state? 2. any kids? 3: how long were you married? 4: Are you both making what you potentially could or is she working at a lower paying job by choice? 5: What is the incomes? If she is making 10k and you 30K that is not really that much different. if she is making 50K and you 150K that is way different. What delongpike wrote. Find an AGGRESSIVE LAWYER.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/19 11:59 PM
3

She may have to pay child support and she should be paying you alimony. Your lawyer will pay for himself if he is aggressive with these.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/19 05:04 AM
7

Second.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/19 12:03 AM
1

Your divorce is not going to trump the HOA rules. This will come back to bite you when the HOA starts fining your for unauthorized use. If you were only married two years a good lawyer could probably get you out of any alimony. Furthermore if you used your savings to buy the house a good lawyer will be able to get you a larger percentage, especially since it has only been two years. Look into it. How much equity could the town home actually have accumulated in two years? I think you may need ano…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/19 06:27 PM
1

I emailed my ex and said that I needed to serve her and asked her when she would be home. I've also used my lawyer's firm. She just needs to understand that the sooner she gets the documents the sooner she can start to prepare.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/19 04:49 PM
1

I second this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/19 11:16 PM
2

He won't pay child support because he has custody. The amount you make is irrelevant to child custody.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/19 11:10 PM
8

Just stay calm and don't do anything brash.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/19 09:34 PM
13

Tell her good luck and then you lawyer up. You've had the kid as a single dad for 16 months. The judge looks at what is best for the kid and stability is high in that list.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/19 09:25 PM
2

She tried to terminate your parental rights. That's bold and foolish.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/19 07:12 PM
2

I've been interested in this too and was going to post a question.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/19 05:53 PM
3

Yep. Wife accused me of raping her and that she was a victim of DV. She contradicted herself so much that the judge never mentioned it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/19 03:37 AM
1

My order states that for these disputes we had to go through mediation before going to the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/19 04:14 AM
3

Court didn't care at all. Did not even acknowledge it. This is in in a no fault state.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/19 07:24 PM
1

I have 50/50 so a week on week off. THey seem to be doing well. What does the parenting plan ACTUALLY SAY? If there is no parenting plan refuse to change and get a parenting plan. Make sure you say what you were doing. She has to prove that it is harmful to the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/19 05:24 PM
2

Their HR is wrong. You should be eligible for 18 months of coverage. Divorce is a qualifying event. from CMS.gov Q6: What are some examples of qualifying events? The following are qualifying events: the death of the covered employee; a covered employee's termination of employment or reduction of the hours of employment; the covered employee becoming entitled to Medicare; divorce or legal separation from the covered employee; or a dependent child ceasing to be a dependent under the generally appl…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/19 05:21 PM
2

what? So you had a wedding in the church, the paperwork was not processed and there was nothing "physical" How long where you "married" This should not be too difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/19 11:06 PM
2

He needs a lawyer, clear and simple. The amount he will spend on a lawyer he will save in this atrocious child support order.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/19 09:18 PM
2

It does get a little tricky with her being active duty. Is she CONUS or overseas?
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/19 07:46 PM
2

no more phone calls. Everything needs to be email or text.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/19 06:08 PM
1

I want to. I really enjoyed being married and having a partner. I look forward to getting married again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/19 07:40 PM
2

just be careful, man. Be careful. If she starts accusing you of stuff, stick to your guns that you did not do it and there are no police reports. Keep advocating for 50/50. Good luck man.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/19 05:18 PM
3

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/19 06:18 PM
2

The issued her a temp order with out me being notified. When I was able to defend myself they thew it out.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/19 08:30 PM
4

The first important date that came up after my seperation was the 21 year anniversary of when we started dating on Valentine's Day. I got drunk and emailed her how much I loved her. She used that in court to say that I was harrassing her (4 months later). That was also the last personal email I sent to her. Don't do that!
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/19 04:00 PM
2

Good job!
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/19 12:58 PM
1

Everything can be leverage. Everything but the kids. Don't play games with them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/19 02:01 AM
1

Gave her extra time to refinance her house out of my name. Was going for 3 months have her 5 years but if she is late on two payments I can force sale.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/19 01:58 AM
6

We are already gearing up for our next fight. VACCINATIONS
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/19 09:07 PM
7

The degree was in Naturopathic Medicine. Don't even get me started on it. Irregardless. She refuses to find a job and her unemployment is about up.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/19 06:27 PM
5

yeah it was. 6 years of schooling plus we were paying minimum as she was signed up for PSLF so it ballooned. I don't think she is paying anything right now, but being charged $1500/month in interest. My lawyer said that this was my biggest vulnerability as it was community debt so whatever I could do to get away from it was going to be key.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/19 05:14 PM
4

This. 100% this. Get recommendations but I learned to look for one that talks about being in rotary club or toastmasters or other civil clubs. That means they have relationships!!! Also if you live in Washington do not get a LLLT!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/19 11:38 PM
6

You are right to feel uneasy. Don't take your foot off the pedal until it is CLEAR that something is actually changed. If she is the one that wanted the divorce, remember she has had months of years to plan this. You've only had few weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/19 08:17 PM
1

It sounds reasonable. She has to say WHY it is in the child's best interest to change the schedule. What do you think she will say?
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/19 04:14 PM
4

OK, so you have to be planning for multiple contingencies for this. What is your plan to get her to and from school? What about when she gets sick at school and you need to get there RIGHT NOW. Snow days? It is doable. I've had to jump through similar hoops and my kids are 3,5 and 9th grade! Have a plan and solution for every objection and keep it focused on your child's best interest.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/19 03:15 PM
3

Children strive on stability and the courts know this. It seems you have a good shot. Do you live in the same school district at the mother? What is your plan to get her to school? The courts will want to know.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/19 03:09 PM
2

I tried to join but I don't know enough about WhatsApp. How do I find the group. All I can do is search my contacts
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/19 12:29 AM
2

Best of luck, brother and stay safe out there. I'm a veteran and it took me getting out, and supporting my wife through grad school that she started an affair. For all I know she was faithful to me when I was oversees.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/19 06:47 PM
1

You are the parent, just like the mother. I wouldn't leave the state though, but you can "take" them. Don't deny the mother from seeing them without a real reason.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/19 03:14 PM
2

being married in Georgia does not necessarily mean that is where the divorce will happen. What state are you in now? If you lived there for a certain amount of time, you should file in that state. I was married in South Dakota, but getting divorced in Washington. Also, I have not personally experienced the one-sideness, so I hope it is equalizing. Heck, I even get child support! Good luck and GET A LAWYER!
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/19 03:08 PM
4

Adultery is the most selfish thing you can possibly do. Like others have said just end it, but don't sneak and lie. Honestly it sounds like you are willing to work hard for you but not for your kids and not your marriage. Talk to your wife. Tell her you are bored. Tell her you want to work at the marriage but you feel like you are in a rut. Don't take the easy way out. Marriage is work.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/19 02:26 AM
1

I'm not sure about this. While all 50 states ALLOW for a no fault, aren't like half of them have something on the books that also allow for a "fault divorce"
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/19 09:33 PM
2

How old are the kids? Does the parenting plan have a relocation plan in it? In Washington there are a couple pages in the end of the parenting plan that state what has to happen for relocation. You should be good to go. Go into court with why you are against the plan and it is the best interest of the kids to stay in the same school because of friends and familiar environment etc etc.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/19 09:27 PM
11

Its not up to him. He is only 11. When he is 16, MAYBE he can choose, but not now.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 03:22 PM
0

You many be reasonable, she may even be reasonable but now there is emotion and a whole lot of money at stake. It gets ugly quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 01:21 AM
2

CONGRATS! Keep it up!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 09:23 PM
2

There is a few men on here that were able to get by without an attorney but I can't stress it enough. Especially if she has an attorney you need to get one.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 07:52 PM
1

I just did a quick estimate and in Washington you could be looking at about $500/month in child support. This may be cut in half if the child support order is truly 50/50. https://fortress.wa.gov/dshs/dcs/SSGen/Home
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 07:20 PM
2

What state are you in? Where you living with her when she bought the home? Child support is kind of a state by state thing, but there are a lot of online calculators you can use. You should be able to get a pretty decent spousal support payment as well as a percent of the equity that was build into the house. You really need to get a lawyer to get into the details. IT IS WORTH IT!!! Trust me. Get some recommendations from friends but absolutly GET A LAWYER!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 07:16 PM
3

OMG this is my story as well! almost verbatim
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 06:36 AM
4

I'm going through the divorce process and my wife started playing the victim to DV a few months ago. She says I was controlling her, but never actually physically hurt her at least. She will not say HOW I was controlling her, just that I was controlling her. Worse is she said that I raped her! So far the judges we have been in front of has seen through her lies as she has flipped flopped on this allegation repeatedly. Sometimes she will bring it out, sometimes she will say in court documents it …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/19 05:05 PM
1

What is her degree in?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 10:00 AM
2

And same cause number? What does your lawyer say. Keep us updated.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/19 08:37 PM
2

What? Did a judge sign the second order?
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/19 08:29 PM
4

GO! GO! GO! She's trying to bait you into doing something stupid. Don't let her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/19 05:46 AM
2

Its up to you really? Do you think you will be able to afford one of the homes on just your income? Did you buy the homes while you were married?
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/19 08:14 PM
3

I actually picked the mediator. I have a pretty good attorney right now. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 10:44 PM
17

Same here buddy. It completely caught me off guard when she told me she was done. Get a lawyer, I wish I did at first. Get a therapist. You WILL come out the other end a better person. If you think there was infidelity go over to r/survivinginfidelity, I post alot on there. Then find your way over to chumplady.com. We are here for you!
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/19 03:33 PM
8

Congrats man. That was quick.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/19 06:08 PM
3

some courts have a family law facilitator that you can schedule a sit down with to go over paperwork. They can not give legal advice, but can tell you how to fill out paperwork. You can also find out when the court is having a pro se calendar for family law. Take half a day and go watch. I was stunned when the average court hearing was less than 6 minutes.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/19 12:43 AM
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