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robertwservice1974 Archive

View 1 posts and 206 comments by robertwservice1974 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Basic Questionrobertwservice1974/r/askMRP01/06/18 12:33 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

“all the other guys are crushing it, why can’t I?” You’re not “crushing it” because you’re not focused on yourself. You’re too busy looking at everyone else, comparing yourself to them. This is a fool’s errand because you’ll always come up short. Q: Do you think Rafael Nadal whines about how he’s not crushing it like Novak Djokovic? A: Fuck no, because he’s too busy working his ass off.
/r/askMRP30/12/18 06:11 PM
4

“Well my options seem to be . . .” You have an option problem. Get better options.
/r/askMRP29/12/18 03:56 PM
10

I don't have an easy answer for you, except to say that you need to focus on yourself. Your focus clearly is on her behavior, which puts you squarely in her frame. You're measuring your success or failure based on whether you're able to influence her behavior. The elephant in the room is that you didn't take the time to unfuck yourself during your first marriage and went on to a successful life spinning plates, so you haven't had to do the hard work. By hard work, I mean addressing your own bull…
/r/askMRP28/12/18 07:28 PM
3

Nice Guys believe that they need to manipulate to get their needs met; they use punishment as a means of attempting to condition others to meet their needs. In OP's case, he had a need (having her do something he asked) that was not met, so he attempted to use punishment to condition her future behavior (i.e., meet his future needs). Nice Guys also have a scarcity mindset and don't trust that their future needs will be met. OP is afraid that, if his girl isn't appropriately conditioned to do wha…
/r/askMRP28/12/18 05:26 PM
7

A few of your mistakes: There is a difference between punishment and not rewarding bad behavior. (I recently learned this lesson.) Nice Guys punish and use punishment to manipulate. Your girl understands what silence means. Instead of explaining why you went silent, you should have rewarded her good behavior when she reached out to you. You made your point, she got your point, but you decided to gild the lily. Then, because you decided to rub her nose in it, your girl decided to punish you by ge…
/r/askMRP28/12/18 04:32 PM
1

I’ve been on zero carb (carnivore) for the past 7 weeks. Currently losing weight and my lifts are still increasing. I eat whenever I’m hungry and don’t count calories. If you’re interested, there is more information on the subreddit, r/zerocarb.
/r/askMRP27/12/18 10:28 PM
25

I didn’t tell her but she found out through my 18 year old son. (Have since had the bros before hoes talk with him.) Results: more shit tests, some of which are pretty damn funny. Today I left the toilet seat up after taking a piss. We we’re headed out on the town and she refused to go until I put the seat down. I said no. She said RP made me do it. I left without her. If I had a time machine, I would go back and keep my mouth shut. Bottom line: It created more problems.
/r/askMRP22/12/18 11:21 PM
3

“...giving these women a buffet selection of fuckable men.” Sounds like a self-righteous excuse to avoid doing any work.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/18 07:06 PM
3

Pink vagina hat. If he’s an Alpha like you say, he’ll get the message.
/r/askMRP21/12/18 02:56 AM
1

Shit happens. Get over it and move on. Although I don't believe there is a cheat code strategy, one thing I did was keep a journal of my accomplishments. New PR in the gym, I wrote it down. Lost 10 lbs, I wrote it down. Resisted the urge to respond to feelz with logic and argument, I wrote it down. Etc. When I would get frustrated with my progress, I looked through my journal and compared where I was to where I'd been. I've reached the point where I don't need to do that anymore, but reminding m…
/r/askMRP20/12/18 04:40 PM
2

Same thing happened to me. I was joking around about blowjobs (not negotiating mind you). She says, “I will never give you a BJ in a hundred years.” I said, “We’ll see.” Next day, she got after it. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Gotta remember to complete every sentence with “right now.” Five minutes later (or in my case 24 hours later), she might change her mind.
/r/askMRP19/12/18 08:41 PM
1

Good self reflection Thanks. It took getting a 2x4 upside my head (specifically, W&S's comment) to get there, but when I did, the realization was immediate. I had invested so much effort in projecting an image of not being a whiny bitch, that my ego prevented me from seeing it. It was a paradigm shift. I'm not in Alaska, but I saw the devastation in the news.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/18 04:24 PM
1

fuck your wife I will. I find that I go through phases where I'm not as interested in initiating. I'm not sure if it relates to lack of sleep, stress, or something else. Checking my T levels, which may explain things.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/18 04:15 PM
3

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 174 lbs; body fat 15%; BP 185; SQ 250; DL 245; BR 130. Lifting/Diet: Still working hard in the gym, and with my recent weight loss, my muscles are getting more defined. I'm doing more cardio and lifts targeted at certain muscle groups on my off days (curls, lat bar pull downs, standing rows, etc.). The more progress I'm making, the more I want. Sex: No sex for a few weeks. I haven't felt like initiating, so I haven't. Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Last week, I mentioned th…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/18 09:07 PM
1

If you want to kick your Copenhagen habit, use the nicotine patch with gum/lozenges for cravings. That’s what I did. I love Cope, but that shit is really bad for you long term.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/18 04:10 PM
1

I treated as a shit test, but there’s always the possibility that we are both right.
/r/askMRP12/12/18 11:09 PM
1

You're right that I am punishing her, which makes absolutely no sense. It's not as if she's consciously deciding to withhold effort. And I'm blaming her (victim mentality) like she has control over it. I like your more positive approach and will do that. I have a friend who is a divorce lawyer but haven't discussed any specifics with him. I've spent some time educating myself about the process and I know enough to have an intelligent conversation with him. Next step is to buy him lunch and tie h…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/18 06:06 PM
1

Thanks for the recommendation. I will read it.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/18 04:07 PM
1

Up until today, I took significant pride (ego) in the fact that I was not a whiner, complainer, victim, etc. I would suppress any tendency to whine or complain, so as to avoid appearing like I was a victim. I have invested a lot of effort in projecting this false image to the world. While reading the sidebar books, I would come to a section about victim mentality and tell myself, "That doesn't apply to me, I'm not a victim." Yet a significant amount of my thinking is victim-based. These victim-f…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/18 03:57 PM
2

I appreciate the insight and will give this some thought.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/18 01:50 PM
1

Agreed on passive-aggressive behavior. I’m making progress in eliminating that bullshit but this one hit my blind spot. Thanks for the reminder on the 1,000 foot rope.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/18 01:13 AM
3

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 175 lbs; body fat 15%; BP 185; SQ 250; DL 245; BR 130. It's been a while since I last posted in OYS. I have been focused on doing rather than posting about what I've done. Trying to avoid analysis paralysis, which is a challenge for me. Our wedding anniversary was last Tuesday. Wife hasn't made the effort to do anything for our anniversary for the past several years. I made minimal effort last year, I wished her "happy anniversary" and fixed a nice dinner. This year our a…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 09:03 PM
2

“she does not want to put in the work” You nailed it. She’s starting to put in the work, but I can tell she’s not happy about it (and that’s her problem). Your wife blaming TRT for DL12 is interesting.
/r/askMRP07/12/18 07:47 PM
3

I haven’t been tested yet (later this month), but I told my wife (who is a physician), that if I’m low, I’ll get treatment. She responded with an immediate shit test: “If you go on TRT, I will divorce you.” I laughed and told her, “Huh..okay.”
/r/askMRP07/12/18 03:29 PM
2

Hiding it is giving too many fucks and a covert contract: If I can hide it from her, MRP will be more effective and she’ll be more likely to fuck me... OP is not a noob and can handle the shit tests.
/r/askMRP07/12/18 03:24 PM
15

Hiding it is a Nice Guy move. How is this any different than any other medical treatment?
/r/askMRP07/12/18 05:55 AM
2

You out-CPM’d her...that’s some next level shit right there.
/r/askMRP07/12/18 03:02 AM
1

I urge you keep posting here weekly in OYS. My wife is post menopausal and has had multiple major health issues (thyroid cancer, hysterectomy, suffers from minor seizures, etc.). I have made significant progress over the past year, due in part to the feedback I’ve received here. It’s taken a while but I can see dread developing. In short, it is possible.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/18 04:03 PM
1

How do you game someone who has become like a sister to me? You have to lead her to the place where she feels tension and there is polarity. This probably will require you to step outside your comfort zone so you can lead her there. Read up on game and start having fun with it. Here are a few crutches I have used: Mystery. Tell her that you're going out but do not tell her where. Plan to visit at least three places. My last one was (1) test drive a car (I had no plans to buy one), (2) play ping …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/18 06:11 AM
2

Is there any polarization in your interactions with your wife? You obviously admire her and think she’s a “great friend,” but if you’re not creating any tension, she’s not going to get the tingles. It sounds like you are emotionally close (too close) but not generating the tension that activates her sexually.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/18 01:58 AM
1

Granted I’ve only been reading this sub for a year, but I don’t recall seeing an OP with an ego like his. At least he now knows what he needs to work on.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/18 04:05 AM
3

In crisis there is opportunity: Tinder just handed you the keys to your own prison. Stop hiding like u/Rian_Stone says and craft the narrative mitw suggests. In other words, go on the offense and tell her on your terms before she finds out on her own. That way, you’ll be in control of the timing and narrative. Best of luck.
/r/askMRP28/11/18 07:41 AM
5

Nice role reversal. You shit tested her and she failed. If only she was a little more . . . alpha?
/r/askMRP26/11/18 11:22 PM
7

Hypergamy abhors the status quo.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/18 03:28 PM
1

Good points. She knows she’s not good enough and has overtly said so. I don’t like ultimatums either, for the reasons you mentioned. I may give W&S’s approach a try and have a discussion about our boyfriend/girlfriend responsibilities. Can’t hurt and might help.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 06:14 PM
1

Thanks. That’s how I’ve been thinking of doing it, so there’s no question that I gave her the right of first refusal.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 05:28 PM
2

How did you communicate to your wife that her GF game sucked and she would be replaced?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 04:16 PM
3

The inclination is a feature not a bug, whether it actually occurs is up to you. To gauge for it, look for beta tells, which show how she perceives you. Medium is the message.
/r/askMRP12/11/18 06:41 PM
1

LMAO. And the true story is almost as funny. Pope disbanded a 1500 year old order over her dancing. But she got right with god? I was thinking Nacho Libre: “Unless you want to, then we break our vows together...”
/r/askMRP09/11/18 09:05 PM
4

I have heard the nun comment several times over the years. Means “you make me feel like I should become a nun.” I used to tell her: “You are a nun. You ain’t givin’ nun and I ain’t gettin nun’.” [CRINGE] If she ever says it again, I’ll tell her I also have a nun fantasy, and how I’ll buy her a habit so we can do a little nun role playing....
/r/askMRP09/11/18 05:41 PM
3

Funny how guys that make the beta bux always mention it. Like, I’m a failure but not a complete failure. No, complete failure. Beta bux just buys him more time than the average guy. Takes more time for wife to find a branch that makes more than $250K.
/r/askMRP21/10/18 01:43 AM
2

I like all of those responses. I'll add them to my index cards. >This might work. YMMV If it doesn't work, I'll learn something.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/18 11:11 PM
2

My kids’ reaction has been one of the most surprising things that has happened to me. Didn’t realize how much my kids followed my example until I started setting a different example. Kids are having much more fun. I AA them and they do it back to me and their mother. No DEERing for the reason you mentioned,
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/18 04:48 PM
2

Yeah, there’s a covert contract in there: if I submit to her during sex, she will give me sex/validation. Trying to rid myself of that and keep my self respect.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/18 04:10 PM
3

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 182 lbs.; body fat estimated at 18-19%; BP 185, SQ 250, DL 245, BR 120 (deload due to back soreness), OHP 115. Lifting/Diet: SL 3x5. I'm working on my kettlebell swings and ramping up my sets so I can do the 10,000 swing challenge next month (if my back can handle it). Didn't do any lifting or cardio Tuesday-Friday last week. Also, didn't log my food. It was not a good week for fitness and diet. This week is starting much better. Lifted and did kettlebell swings Saturday.…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/18 01:32 PM
1

You’re not owning your shit. Everything’s your fault because you’re not doing the right things. OYS and she’ll stop blaming you. And shut the pantry door FFS, were you born in a barn?
/r/askMRP16/10/18 03:29 AM
6

These are double bind shit tests, which are a manipulation tactic. You’re getting good advice about how to handle them. If you want to learn more about double binds, I recommend reading Practical Female Psychology (sidebar advanced reading).
/r/askMRP12/10/18 05:24 PM
3

You are not alone. Has to be a chick flick. My money’s on When Harry Met Sally.
/r/askMRP11/10/18 10:57 PM
1

Regarding her self-esteem, I often hear her say things like "you think you're better than me", "you think your job is more important than mine", or "your [job, hobbies, etc.] always come first." Pre-MRP, I would DEER in response to these accusations. After I got into the sidebar, I started thinking maybe the fact she's saying these things is a good thing. I also stopped DEERing and fogged her, by saying "You may be right . . . ." The deeper issue may be that I've been treating this a zero sum ga…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/18 07:00 PM
1

I'm not tracking my cardio but will check out SweatCoin. >So now that you understand this, what are you going to do about it? Treat them like the shit tests that they are. And, of course, continue to lift, STFU and sidebar.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 10:17 PM
1

>these women find you guys I don't know about that; no one put a gun to my head and forced me to marry her. And she didn't attempt to hide her true self before we got married. And I don't think I gave her the impression I was easily controlled. We've fought like cats and dogs for most of our time together. >i've never had women i'm fucking talk to me like your wife does With respect to the double binds, there are a couple of extensive sections in PFP talking about this manipulation technique, so…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 10:10 PM
3

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 180 lbs.; body fat estimated at 17-18%; BP 185, SQ 247.5, DL 240, BR 120 (deload due to back soreness), OHP 113. Lifting/Diet: Plugging away on SL 3x5 and I'm still feeling good. I'm working with my personal trainer to develop an auxiliary program to support my 3x5 lifts. He suggested that I do the 10,000 kettlebell swing challenge, so I started doing the kettlebell swing sets this weekend. I was sore Monday, so I'm going to need to work my way up to the point where I can…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 12:55 PM
2

You may be right about my daughter and I agree that there's generally a preference along those lines. I've heard that the same is true for dogs and this is consistent with my limited experience. I'm sure there's a level of subcommunication occurring that my daughter gets but I'm oblivious to. Both my son and daughter complain that their mother loves the other more, which I see as an indicator that they both are treated roughly equal.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/18 11:34 PM
5

I noticed that you haven't mentioned your wife recently. I really liked it. A lot. Here are my responses to your fears. (I am NOT suggesting you kill the puppy.) Fear: I cannot accept a life without intimacy. Response: You had a life before your wife, right? You'll have one after, too. Fear: am i un-fucked enough to stop this happening again with someone else Response: Maybe. Maybe not. Getting a divorce does not mean you cannot continue to work on yourself. They're not going to cancel your gym …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/18 10:38 PM
1

Yep, followed by an initiation to test the theory!
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/18 07:48 PM
1

I haven’t read the entire book, but the section with the excerpt doesn’t give any specific advice about how to handle it. It does say that if a woman does this often, it indicates low self esteem. It also states: The positive purpose of the double bind in human sexuality is to act directly upon the limbic system of the brain, so as to create a situation of confusion, which is meant to lower a lover’s defense mechanisms, with the purpose of increasing the chances of sexual intercourse. Therefore,…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/18 07:25 PM
1

I’ve been reading Practical Female Psychology and think my wife’s question was a “double bind” as described in the following excerpt: ”The essence of a double bind is the presentation of two conflicting demands, neither of which can be ignored, and which leave the victim torn between two options. The “options” are presented to the victim in such a way that whichever demand they try to meet, they find that the other demand cannot be met. “ ”I must do it (or say it) but I can’t do it (or say it)” …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/18 07:08 PM
2

For me it happened slowly over time (it’s an ongoing process) and started with getting out of my wife’s frame. I stopped caring whether I measured up to her standards by substituting my own. Now I’m applying the same approach to other aspects of my life. Internalizing the Bill of Assertive Rights in WISNIFG has been a big part of that process.
/r/askMRP02/10/18 11:59 PM
4

I am interested, particularly in your thoughts on practical methods and strategies.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 06:25 PM
2

That’s a good point and a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I have been there (her little bitch) and it was a disaster. She hated it, I hated it, and it killed almost all attraction between us. My misguided attempt to give her what I thought she wanted to make her happy. Never again.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 04:29 PM
3

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 181 lbs.; body fat estimated at 17-18%; BP 182.5, SQ 242.5, DL 235, BR 120 (deload due to back soreness), OHP 111. Lifting/Diet: Plugging away on SL 3x5; my workouts are much faster now. Still feeling good. I'm working with my personal trainer to develop an auxiliary program to support my 3x5 lifts. The auxiliary lifts are focused on my grip strength: kettlebell swings and farmer carries. Cardio is still lacking. Interesting observation by my daughter: We are sitting arou…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 01:24 PM
1

There’s some truth to that. For a long time, I had a bad habit of asking her if she wanted me to do something that I should have just done. Those questions typically started with “Do you want me to . . . .” Those questions are harmful in many ways: Puts me in her frame, forces her to make a decision, asks her for permission, seeks validation, etc. I have been making a conscious effort to stop asking and just do what needs to be done. I slipped up and asked one of those questions earlier this wee…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/18 03:30 PM
3

Agreed. I do, however, sympathize with the poor bastards who never find this place. Here’s hoping they find the truth.
/r/askTRP30/09/18 03:57 AM
1

Cardio: Agreed. Your first post: I had read it a while back but didn’t make the connection. Many similarities with my situation and it was good to read it again. Power struggle: I agree about the overt transfer of power, but I had to start somewhere, so I told her then backed it up with action. Things are much easier now, and I’m not getting as much resistance. But looking back, I do feel like I “won” my leadership role, and for some reason that makes a difference to me. I suspect I’m justifying…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/18 12:28 AM
1

It’s estimated, so I could be 17%. My last hydrostatic weigh in was in May. I’ll go in and get dunked again next month and have a more accurate number.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/18 07:57 PM
1

Exactly. Got sore and tired on 5x5. I’ll give your 3x3 approach a try in a few weeks. Thanks for the tip.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/18 04:57 PM
2

I have a sit to stand desk, but haven’t been standing enough. My recent issues with tight hips are motivating me to stand more.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/18 02:04 PM
2

My goals are: Calories: 2,195 or fewer Carbs: 110g (20%) Fat: 98g (40%) Protein: 220g (40%) How about you?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/18 01:56 PM
1

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 179 lbs.; body fat 16%; BP 177.5, SQ 235, DL 230, BR 137.5, OHP 109. Lifting/Diet: The change to from SL 5x5 to SL 3x5 has been good. Feeling much better after taking it easy (50% deload) for a week. I lost a little strength but it's coming back quickly. Still working with the personal trainer, and we're focusing on loosening up tight areas like my back and hips. Sitting in a chair at work has had negative long term effects. Looking at older co-workers, I can see how it h…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/18 12:30 PM
2

Thank you. These are very helpful.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 04:20 PM
2

Framing it in terms of responsibilities rather than roles would have been much more effective. I’ll use that approach next time. Very insightful. Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 03:06 PM
3

I appreciate your comment and advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 12:48 PM
2

I will. I’ve been considering propane for easier fuel storage, with a smaller portable gas generator as a backup.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 04:07 AM
2

Thank you. I’m not building a bunker to hide from zombies, but my region will have a widespread disaster at some point. I’ve got the bare minimum covered, but the well pump going down was a wake up call. I’ll look into cistern/solar as those are both good ideas. (Wind is not a viable option.) I’m definitely getting a generator.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 02:09 AM
2

Buying a spare pump is a great idea. I just searched for auxiliary hand pumps, which would be a good option since they don't require electricity. Plus I would need a crane to remove the electric pump. Thanks for the suggestion!
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/18 08:12 PM
9

Appreciate the links. I was planning on posting more next week but your comment prompted me to do it now. Several weeks ago, when we were having one of these "talks," I used it as an opportunity to explain the Captain/First Officer model. At first she was skeptical. I explained that I was making changes to address my shortcomings, many of which she had complained about in the past. I reeled off a list of her (valid) past complaints, along with a list of actions I had taken to address them. I did…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/18 08:08 PM
2

Thanks. It’s a class that teaches about telling stories. Like improv, except that you perform solo and most stories are autobiographical.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/18 12:29 PM
7

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 179 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May; estimated at 17% now based on weight); BP 175, SQ 227.5, DL 220, BR 135, OHP 105. Lifting: SL 3x5 after nearly seven months of 5x5. De-loaded to 50% for a week and I feel much better. Still sore in a few places but nothing I can't work through. Relationship: A bit of a crazy week. Wife had a lot of emotional ups and downs. As we're getting ready for bed one evening, she asks: what's wrong; is there something you wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/18 11:45 AM
2

I don’t get confusion and anger. I get giddiness. Every time I go Rambo she likes it. I suppose that’s a reflection of how much a Nice Guy I’ve been.
/r/askMRP17/09/18 02:27 AM
2

You’d be surprised how harsh you can be with some women. From what I’ve seen, there’s not a consensus on what it means to “go Rambo.” I liked First Blood and Rambo is the hero in that story. Maligning Rambo as some dumbass is wrongheaded. He was a Man who stood up for himself and didn’t let the Sheriff push him around. He established a boundary and enforced it. What’s wrong with that?
/r/askMRP17/09/18 02:19 AM
-1

Rambo - The ripped guy who appears out of nowhere with his M60 and helps you make progress on your MRP journey. If you are afraid you are about to go Rambo, that’s your inner Nice Guy holding you back. EDIT: Agree with LeftAndRed definition.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/18 05:19 AM
2

Would your girl rather get with Marcus Aurelius or John Rambo? Who would give her the feelz?
/r/askMRP16/09/18 03:50 AM
1

Monk mode is for pussies who want to avoid the real world. Get out and enjoy the world.
/r/askMRP16/09/18 03:16 AM
2

I’ve gone Rambo probably 9 or 10 times. (Okay, maybe 11.). Last time was tonight. I can’t control it. The stoics might say I’ve lost frame (whatever the fuck that means). You stoics can fuck off. Every time I go Rambo, I advance the ball. I make progress. It might not be the MRP ideal of progress a la “acta non verba,” but there’s no question where I stand. Tonight I set out my vision again: Captain and First Officer. Wife said, “Co-Captains.” I said “NO.” She said “We’re done.” I said, “Okay.” …
/r/askMRP16/09/18 02:47 AM
2

You read the wrong Rambo book. Sidebar======>
/r/askMRP15/09/18 01:45 AM
1

This came up again, and I used the above approach. My wife tried to double down and said that she could tell me “no.” I pressed her by asking if she actually believed she had the authority to tell me “no.” Then she backed off when she realized how stupid that sounded, by changing the subject. So, it worked! Thanks again.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/18 07:07 PM
1

I like this approach. Sort of a pressure flip. Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/18 09:23 PM
1

Good point. It was a missed opportunity.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/18 07:11 PM
1

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 179 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May; estimated at 17% now based on weight); BP 197.5, SQ 251, DL 245, BR 152.5, OHP 121. Lifting/Diet: SL 5x5 program since February 20. I'm lifting this week at 50% of my previous lifts to address chronic soreness. I'll switch to SL 3x5 when I start back at 100% next week. Played tennis twice. Was out and about Sunday and ate restaurant food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Should have planned ahead and packed a cooler…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/18 01:01 PM
2

De-loaded to 50% over the weekend and already feel much better. I’ll give it two more workouts before I go back to 100%. Thanks again for the tip.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/18 07:58 PM
5

Best method is with askMRP approved kit. See sidebar for ordering instructions.======>
/r/askMRP09/09/18 03:02 AM
1

I'll give the 50% de-load a try. I had another session with the personal trainer last night, and he made a similar recommendation. I appreciate your thoughts about being patient. My past bouts of impatience have come when I haven't had sex for several weeks. There's a definite connection between my need for sex as external validation and my impatience. I haven't been tested recently (sex has been 1x per week for last three weeks), so I don't know for sure, but I'm feeling less reliant on externa…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/18 08:23 PM
1

Found the stretches and will start doing them. I appreciate the tip.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/18 09:27 PM
1

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 178 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May; estimated at 17% now based on weight); BP 195, SQ 248.5, DL 245, BR 150, OHP 121. Lifting/Diet: SL 5x5 program since February 20. Two more weeks and I'll change to SL 3x5. My form on squats and OHP is getting better. I have hip and hamstring flexibility issues, so I'm doing more stretches before lifting. I've been continuously sore for the past 3-4 weeks. First it was my hips, then lower back and now it's my middle…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/18 08:01 PM
1

Thanks for explaining the power dynamic. Makes sense.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/18 10:12 PM
1

Thanks. Do you think it was a shitty comfort test because if I lied and agreed with her, I would have failed the shit test and if I had told her the truth, I would have failed the comfort test? I’ve spent time searching for descriptions of shitty comfort tests. The best I’ve come up with is that it’s a shit test wrapped in a comfort test with hamster glue holding them together, which STFU is the best option since a verbal response results in failing one or the other test.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/18 08:48 PM
1

Didn’t make that connection before but see it now. Thanks for pointing it out.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/18 12:14 AM
2

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 177 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May; estimated at 16% now based on weight); BP 192.5, SQ 243.5, DL 240, BR 147.5, OHP 119. Lifting/Diet: I've been on the 5x5 program (phone app) since February 20. De-loaded on squats, bench and OHP to correct form issues. Lifted 4 days last week. Still working on stretching out my hamstrings and engaging more of my hips and core during lifts. The trainer has given me several auxiliary lifts and stretches for off days …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/18 08:18 PM
1

On your deadlift, if grip strength is a problem, try using the interlocking grip. I changed two weeks ago and it helped.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/18 10:02 PM
1

I hadn’t read that post. For the reasons Rollo stated, I have never invited her or even mentioned it. She’s been instigating it on her own. I like your suggestion of treating her like a man when we’re out. I do the same while we’re skiing in shit weather. If she doesn’t like it, she heads back to the lodge or car while I keep going til I’m done.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/18 07:58 PM
3

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 179 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); BP 190, SQ 240, DL 235, BR 145, OHP 119. Lifting/Diet: I've been on the 5x5 program (phone app) since February 20. De-loaded on squats, bench and OHP to correct form issues. Lifted with a personal trainer again last night. He noticed another form issue with my OHP. My elbows are going out to my side and I'm ending up doing a tricep press. I will need to deload my OHP even more to correct this issue. Still working …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/18 04:10 PM
2

If you are self-aware enough to recognize your inner critic and give it your favorite cartoon voice, why not take the next step and silence the critic? One book that has helped me silence my inner critic is The Inner Game of Tennis. One of my key takeaways from the Inner Game is to stop myself from using judgmental language when thinking about events. Events are neither good nor bad. Assigning "good" or "bad" to an event is my ego's reaction to the event. By seeing events as they are, and using …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/18 08:07 PM
1

That’s my takeaway as well. I’m still learning to disagree (with her) without being disagreeable and condescending. My issue stems from the fact that I’ve been overcompensating.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/18 07:45 PM
1

On your last point, it wasn’t obvious but that was my gut instinct at the time. And I now see why it was my gut instinct and why she was happy to comply. Very insightful comment. Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/18 04:39 PM
1

Yes it is. Both my own b.s and from others.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/18 03:42 PM
2

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 177 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); BP 185, SQ 234, DL 225, BR 140, OHP 117. Lifting/Diet: I've been on the 5x5 program (phone app) since February 20. De-loaded on squats, bench and OHP to correct form issues. Still eating clean, getting leaner every week. Lifted with a personal trainer again. Working on stretching and engaging more of my hips and core during lifts. The trainer has given me several auxiliary lifts and stretches for off days to incre…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/18 07:45 PM
6

In the interest of comparing notes, my experience has been that when I have lost weight, comments about other men increase in what has seemed like an overt attempt to arouse jealousy in me. These comments are similar to what you described, and recently I've been hearing more of them as I have become fitter over the past six months. Perhaps it is a form of jealousy shit test in response to your dread level 4-5, like she's feeling dread and trying to alleviate that feeling by eliciting a jealousy …
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:43 PM
1

Thanks. I appreciated your perspective over the past two weeks.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/18 06:12 PM
1

I agree with your scoreboard comment; esp. in light of your point last week that they are all joint marital assets anyway. In my case, likely would have been a lot of thrashing around for little or no real benefit (other than to communicate my boundary).
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/18 07:56 PM
1

I appreciate the thought and your comments.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/18 07:36 PM
2

Throughout her tirades, I kept that picture in my head of four year old her calling me poopey face. Kept me from losing my shit and trying to convince her with logic and reason that I'm not a poopey face. Made it easy to disregard the bullshit and stay on message, which was "no."
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/18 03:27 PM
1

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 177 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); BP 200, SQ 279, DL 225, BR 135, OHP 139. Lifting: I've been on the 5x5 program (phone app) since February 20. I'm using micro-plates now and still making (micro) gains. Diet is still on point, getting leaner every week. Lifted with a personal trainer last night. Here are my takeaways. OHP: A major mistake I've been making is that I've been doing push presses instead of overhead presses. I also have been shrugging …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/18 02:53 PM
6

I have given this some thought, and I was wrong. There is a strong element of convincing myself I'm a man in my comment, with inherent chest puffing. OP's wife already set the boundary. Piling on with "her boundary is my boundary too" would be weak. Like the wimpy kid who stands over the bully and says, "yeah, don't ever take my lunch money again," after the wimp's buddy just kicked the bully's ass and got the wimp's lunch money back. My insecurities about my own boundary setting showed through …
/r/askMRP05/08/18 06:53 PM
2

Yeah, and lawyers have a name for those types of written communication: “evidence.”
/r/askMRP04/08/18 11:36 PM
7

I would warn him in no uncertain terms to keep his hands off her. And do it in person, so he knows you are serious. Otherwise, his next “joke” may occur at an inconvenient time, like a family get together. If he’s a social retard, this should be enough. If he’s a predator, well ... you warned him.
/r/askMRP04/08/18 11:08 PM
1

I plan to review the budget with her tonight, but we had a brief discussion this morning and I told her “no” to extensive renovations and gave her a very brief explanation. I know this isn’t the end; she will keep pushing and I will keep saying “no.” I’ll give a full update in next week’s OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/18 07:17 PM
1

I’ve read both multiple times and have the audiobooks. WISNIFG is a great book. Since I’ve read it, I haven’t lost my shit with my wife or anyone else. Life changing.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/18 02:57 PM
1

Hers. Silence constitutes acceptance. I should have trusted my gut instead of mindlessly following my escalation plan.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/18 01:39 AM
1

I agree with your statements except the part about an in depth conversation. I intend to keep it short and to the point. Otherwise it will devolve into an argument.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 09:04 PM
1

I’m a hothead and tend to go from zero to nuclear when I get emotionally invested in something. Haven’t needed to set many past boundaries, because I ceded control and didn’t care. Now I’m trying to calibrate but obviously haven’t found the sweet spot. I appreciate your comments and will report back.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 07:38 PM
1

I watched the video. Not far off. I’m trying to avoid keyboard breaking going forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 06:37 PM
3

18 years of no boundaries. I get as much respect as I deserve.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 06:12 PM
1

She hasn’t met with contractors yet but it’s just a matter of time. She handled the finances for 18 years and made all the major financial decisions. I took them over last year but she’s still thinking that she can do what she wants and I’ll just go along as I always have. Agree there’s no shared financial vision. It’s my job to lead her there. I don’t think she brought my son into it. My guess is that he volunteered it. He can get his way with his mother, but with me not so much. I put a stop t…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 06:05 PM
1

Yeah, I’m trying to maintain perspective as best I can by taking the long view.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 05:08 PM
3

Agreed. I will report back.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 03:27 PM
1

I hear you. I’ve gone overboard with boundary setting in the past, so I’m being a little too tentative now. Need to find the right balance. Also there’s room for a workable compromise and I’d prefer to lead her there rather than dictate with ultimatums.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 03:21 PM
1

The SL website says the app will change my program when I start to fail or plateau. If it doesn’t happen soon, I’ll do it manually.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 03:11 PM
2

I visited the site and entered my info. It shows my DL as weakest lift. Very helpful.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 03:08 PM
1

I didn't realize they were low. What would you expect them to be? I know my form is suffering on the barbell row, so it could be a form issue. I've been thinking of having a trainer look at all my lifts, so now that you mention it, I'll do that.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 02:36 PM
2

Good points; didn't see them before, now I do. I have felt like my responses have been dodges, so the next time she raises the issue, I'll tell her. I've also been concerned that silence will be taken as my tacit agreement, so telling her will put that concern to bed.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 02:33 PM
4

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 177 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); BP 200, SQ 276, DL 225, BR 130, OHP 139. Lifting: I've been on the 5x5 program (phone app) since February 20. I'm using micro-plates and still making (micro) gains. Diet is still on point. Took family out for Sunday brunch and drank coffee while they ate. This was a major win in the diet discipline department. Went running again once last week. Getting ripped is my primary mission right now. Reno' Drama Update: Ba…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 12:42 PM
1

I was half awake when I read your post this morning, but I remember the gist of it. I’ve been thinking about it all day. I’ve had the some of the same thoughts about marriage. But I’ve never thought I had it harder than my wife. Life was much harder when I was clueless. Not knowing frustrated me to no end. As I’ve learned and gotten better over the past months, I’ve had the time of my life. Haven’t had a hard day in a long time. At least now I have an idea what I’m doing wrong. This is no defens…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/18 04:38 AM
1

She did understand it back when she ran the money. Now it’s my responsibility and she’s developed a bit of willful ignorance/lack of agency. No excuses for her. I’m just developing ways of defending my boundary short of going nuclear. If my broken record “no’s” and budget don’t dissuade her, then I’ve got my budget done and I move to my second line of defense, financial divorce (aka separate accounts). I’ll report back in future OYS’s.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/18 02:37 AM
1

Not telling you that, just that she’s not currently understanding the costs of paying for our kids’ college and comparing that to our incomes and available cash. I took over our finances in spring of last year, so I think she’s not seeing the big picture of our finances over the next several years. I need to show her the big picture by preparing a budget. My budget should make it obvious that we can’t afford to do what she wants.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/18 12:22 AM
1

I'm not looking to trigger a main event. Intentionally triggering it now would feel like going Rambo and I doubt I would handle it properly. My balls have dropped, but they're nowhere near big enough yet for me to do something like that and have it be successful. I've been looking for ways to defend this boundary by escalating my defenses, so that I can find the minimum defense to get her to back off. In other words, defend the boundary at the least cost to everyone. Telling her that I'm conside…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/18 03:57 PM
1

Good point about taking the puppy out. Another fail, in that it sent the message that I'll put up with shitty behavior and still reward her with my help.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/18 03:10 PM
1

I said “no” to the extensive renovations. She recently proposed a much smaller scope, which I took as her attempt at a workable compromise. She hasn’t fully explained what she has in mind, so I haven’t responded yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/18 08:09 PM
1

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 178 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); BP 195, SQ 273, DL 220, BR 125, OHP 138. Lifting: I've been on the 5x5 program (phone app) since February 20. I'm using micro-plates now and still making (micro) gains. Cut is underway and I have been disciplined for the past two weeks. Eating clean and eating less. Starting to see a little more vascularity in my arms, which is a good sign. I went running once last week. I lasted 30 minutes, but that wasn't bad co…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/18 03:06 PM
7

A man who sees himself as The Prize also doesn’t write “...here is my worthless question.”
/r/askMRP22/07/18 11:53 PM
2

A huge eye opener for me was realizing how actions can covertly communicate and are more likely to be understood and believed by her. "Speak without speaking" according to Rollo. I now see that a vast majority of my past verbal interactions were all content-based (and boring!) overt communication. My goal is to limit "serious" conversation to logistics, focus on "fun" conversation (banter/teasing/A&A/etc.), and communicate the rest covertly through actions whenever possible.
/r/askMRP19/07/18 03:23 PM
1

That is something that has been missing lately. I’ll give it some thought, get them more involved and add it to my OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/18 02:53 PM
3

A related point is that actions are often a form of covert communication. She is skilled at communicating covertly and thus more likely to "get the message" communicated by your actions. Covert messages also are more likely to be believed, because they are delivered using her preferred method of communication. By acting (and STFU about it) reliably and consistently, you covertly communicate your message. Using your example of taking ownership/responsibility for your life and house, when she disc…
/r/askMRP19/07/18 01:27 AM
2

u/Rian_Stone has an answer to your "why" question here: https://rianstonept.blogspot.com/2016/09/why-is-stupid-fucking-question.html. I used to wonder "why." Then I read this post and realized I was wasting valuable time and energy on irrelevant questions; time an energy better spent asking myself "how" I can achieve my goals.
/r/askMRP18/07/18 06:21 PM
1

Look into hiring a personal assistant. (Not full time obviously.) They’ll run errands for you and take care of shit while you’re out of town. They charge by the hour. Line up a handyman to take care of any home improvement emergencies. You don’t have to do it all yourself or rely on relatives, friends and neighbors.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/18 04:43 PM
2

I used to hear "end of my rope" and "barely hanging on" comments all the time. Once I stepped up and took action to lead the household, those comments stopped. The key for me was taking over things that were high-stress for her (like managing the finances), required making decisions (even small decisions, like whether to allow our son to spend the night at a friends house), and dealing with any sort of outside conflict (with the kids, coaches, teachers, etc.).
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/18 03:29 PM
7

Fallout: More shit tests, like “did your red pill podcast tell you to pee on the toilet seat?”
/r/askMRP18/07/18 12:47 AM
1

Your “surrender” feelings sound like la petite mort, literally “the little death,” which is not uncommon.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/18 05:47 PM
2

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 181 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); bench 190 lbs, squat 272 lbs, deadlift 215 lbs, row 120 lbs, OHP 138 lbs; 5x5 program since February 20. Bought micro plates two weeks ago. Cut is underway and I have been disciplined during the past week. Eating clean and eating less. Dread problem #1 - I'm not physically attractive enough (yet): I have a long history (18 years) of being busy doing things away from my wife when I'm not at work. I play sports, lif…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/18 03:06 PM
1

Sounds like you’re trying to use logic and reason to resolve past issues. Stop talking and start solving problems. “She’s barely hanging on” = she needs a Captain to take action and lead the ship. When your co-pilot is out of sorts and struggling, what do you do? Have a serious conversation about last week’s rough landing or take action to get things back under control?
/r/askMRP16/07/18 11:32 PM
1

Very true. See it all the time.
/r/askMRP12/07/18 02:11 PM
1

> I know that this sub focuses on working on yourself in order to be the best, most desirable mate for your partner You have a fundamental misunderstanding about the focus of this sub. Setting that aside, I spent 18 years dealing with nasty, disrespectful comments from my wife. I didn't put up with that behavior and fought back. These arguments were followed by days of silent treatment until I apologized. Then I found MRP and read When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (WISNIFG) by Manual Smith (required …
/r/askMRP11/07/18 05:48 PM
1

He does not yet have true awareness and thinks that he’ll be different. Based on post history, he’s been at this for less than six weeks. If he was actually armed, he’d be slowing his roll.
/r/askMRP11/07/18 02:44 PM
4

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 182.2 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); bench 215 lbs, squat 269 lbs, deadlift 210 lbs, row 110 lbs, OHP 136 lbs; 5x5 program since February 20. Six Month Assessment: February 20, the day that I started SL 5x5, is also my first day of MRP. Because this was a slow week, I decided to critically assess and summarize my major weaknesses and what I need to do to correct them. Frame: I'm not out of my wife's frame 100% of the time. I still catch myself thin…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/18 03:17 PM
3

Spot on. In my initial draft, written within minutes of our discussion, I described this as a power struggle. Used those exact words. And you’re right, it only exists in my head. As a shit test, it really doesn’t matter and I don’t have to play. Next time I’ll have a better option plan in mind so I don’t have to play.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/18 07:58 PM
1

Yep. I need to follow through and take that action. Consistently.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/18 02:35 PM
1

Stats: Late 40s, 5'-8"; 183.8 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); bench 215 lbs, squat 267 lbs, deadlift 205 lbs, row 110 lbs, OHP 134 lbs; 5x5 program since February 20. Relationship: Failed wife's "change my plan" shit test Friday. Nearly every time I try to plan something together, she has to change the plan. Friday morning, I text and tell her join me in town after work for dinner and drinks followed by a walk in the park. She says sure, sounds fun. Then late afternoon rol…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/18 01:17 PM
1

My problem with this advice is that it presumes the wife has the power in the first instance and consciously chooses to submit and admire, honor and respect, which means she retains the power to revoke it. So long as admiration, honor, and respect are deserved, they cannot be revoked because they are not dependent on the wife’s conscious decision to give it. This is why I believe they must be earned, which results in a stronger, more stable relationship.
/r/askMRP29/06/18 01:01 AM
1

While not word for word, I started our conversation in a very similar way right down to the loser statement. I also asked him whether he noticed positive changes around the house the past few months. He said he did. I also would have paid attention had my dad said the same thing. Whether he did remains to be seen. I think a light touch is the best approach since he’s almost out of the house.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/18 10:01 PM
1

I see that now too. Had I been more specific yesterday, it also would have cut out unnecessary back/forth, been more respectful of commenter’s time, and been more efficient all around.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/18 02:19 PM
1

you're doing all the steps, but you're missing the underlying reasons for doing them. for all this. I’ve had a huge blind spot, which is that I have failed to connect the dots between concepts and actions. Haven’t internalized the concepts. I’ve been reading but not comprehending, which is why I’m struggling with the right actions. Slept on it and will apply strategies to increase comprehension. Among other things, I need to actively engage the sidebar material. It’s clear now that I haven’t don…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/18 01:50 PM
2

Has it been tough? Not as tough as: Feeling I’m not enough day after day, never knowing why. Knowing that, despite all I’ve done, something’s missing and just beyond my reach. Admitting my fault (it was) but never making it right. Making changes to find that each new change was only a new mistake. So, NO, it’s not tough compared to where I’ve been.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/18 12:49 AM
1

It sounded like a such a good idea at the time.... Famous last words.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 10:18 PM
1

Yep. Consistency is still a challenge for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 07:14 PM
1

Other than giving him a copy of Pook, I don’t plan on raising the topic again.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 06:59 PM
1

I agree that’s the right approach. But you have something I don’t: Time. Time to develop and impart wisdom and set an example. I’m in triage mode since he’ll be on his own soon.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 05:56 PM
1

I get your point and see that I have not been applying concepts to create solutions.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 05:33 PM
1

Roger that. I’m working on reversing 17 years of setting a bad example, but I’m nearly out of runway. And, based on my past failures, he’s justified in ignoring me on this topic. My approach, in order of importance: (1) set a better example in the time I have left with him, (2) be available to talk through things, and (3) point him to other resources with the hope that, if he needs them, he’ll know where to find them.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 04:53 PM
1

I’ll buy him Pook, it’s more his style. He’s a high IQ kid and been taking college courses since he was 15, so he’ll get it.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 03:02 PM
1

Acknowledged. I sometimes do stupid things. My son is in his late teens and I’m running out of time to influence him by setting an example or leading in depth discussions. He rarely listens anyway and will be on his own soon. Any suggestions for another resource that’s not shit-tier?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 02:50 PM
2

Physical: 5'-8"; 184 lbs (down 4 lbs since last week); body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); bench 210 lbs, squat 265 lbs, deadlift 230 lbs, row 100 lbs, OHP 132 lbs; 5x5 program since February. Relationship: My teenage son outed me about RP to my wife. I subtly suggested that he read Rollo and visit TRP sub. He's getting into dating and looking for girls to validate him. If he has a good date, he's on top of the world. If he gets rejected, he's depressed. Got tired of seeing him yo-…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 01:16 PM
2

I get your point. But what if what she really wants (subconsciously perhaps) is for him to escape the matrix and be a man? Not saying that happened here; 4 years is a long time to wait for him to figure his shit out....
/r/askMRP25/06/18 04:20 PM
1

That’s not OP’s situation, though. Her man is failing to assume those roles and she’s had to step in and fill them. A man has to know those roles exist and want to fill them. He has to prove he is worthy and continue proving his value throughout the relationship. That’s where the power struggle has value. The struggle allows the man to reestablish his value by taking action, stepping up, taking responsibility, and setting boundaries. Essentially, proving he is worthy of the honor and respect he …
/r/askMRP24/06/18 01:20 AM
2

He just gave you the cheat code. Don’t believe? Read OYS, field reports, victim pukes. Common denominator = no sex.
/r/askMRP23/06/18 09:56 PM
2

I speak from experience. Winning by forfeit is a hollow victory and an attraction killer. This sub and the big boy sub (MRP) are full of men challenging each other to get their shit together. That’s how it works.
/r/askMRP23/06/18 08:56 PM
2

How do you make a man set himself free? Maybe, just maybe, that irritation will get painful enough that he will find a way.
/r/askMRP23/06/18 08:19 PM
3

Handing over the reins is a fools errand. That’s why it didn’t work the first time. Also, it goes against your nature. There’s value in the power struggle. If you give the reins away, they won’t be valued. You have a horse/water issue. He has to want the reins enough to put in the hard work and fight for them. Make him earn it.
/r/askMRP23/06/18 08:00 PM
3

Yeah, she went off the reservation. Also interesting that commenters tried to bring her back on with excuses about breastfeeding, baby, etc. Hive mind in action.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/18 05:01 PM
1

Only when I want to initiate. If you don’t feel it, don’t do it.
/r/askMRP22/06/18 12:16 PM
2

Stop focusing on it. The more you think about OI, the harder it will be to get it. I focused on other things (lift, sidebar, mission, etc.) and OI just happened.
/r/askMRP21/06/18 07:14 PM
1

Agreed, except that there’s potential for this mrp thing to be validation driven, too.
/r/askMRP20/06/18 01:15 AM
2

Physical: 5'-8"; 188 lbs (no change in 2 weeks); body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); bench 205 lbs, squat 250 lbs, deadlift 230 lbs, row 140 lbs, OHP 135 lbs; 5x5 program since February. Relationship: It's been a relatively uneventful two weeks since my last post. Would give myself a C- on the shit test front. Passing but just barely. I'm starting to recognize when I'm stepping into the wife's frame. STFU is an effective way to stop myself. I am surprised at how quickly emotional s…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/18 02:40 PM
2

100% agree with your sentiment. But how is your thought any different from: What is mommy gonna say about how I handled this issue/thought/drama? How about this thought: What am I gonna think about how I addressed this issue/thought/drama? Tldr: Be your own judge/mental point of origin.
/r/askMRP19/06/18 02:31 PM
1

De nada
/r/askMRP18/06/18 08:02 PM
3

Don't worry about Rambo. You can't control him; that's why he's Rambo. Derailment is part of the process, just get back on track. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. It does seem like he's insulting you (he is). Treasure it. His comment will help if/when you re-read in a month.
/r/askMRP18/06/18 07:41 PM
1

No different for me. Hard to resist a lifetime of programming and a fragile ego.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/18 03:00 PM
1

The Rational Male did that to me, too. The good news: You're almost there . . . the last stage is acceptance. Saving a Low Sex Marriage is more upbeat.
/r/askMRP07/06/18 07:38 PM
1

OYS #4 Physical: 5'-8"; 188 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); bench 225 lbs, squat 230 lbs, deadlift 220 lbs, row 130 lbs, OHP 135 lbs; 5x5 program since February. I just started plateauing. Cardio (running or biking) on off days. My weight is headed the wrong direction. I need to get serious about my nutrition. I've got the app and food scale. Time to become disciplined about tracking and following my nutrition plan. Personal: A buddy of mine lost a long battle with cancer …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 02:51 PM
2

Plant the subconscious seed by occasionally inserting cocky funny innuendo and double entendres into normal conversation. Then after an hour or two it's her idea.
/r/askMRP03/06/18 09:11 PM
1

Although I didn't mention it in my post, I do STFU when I don't have the energy or focus to A&A in response to minor bs comments that don't matter. Good point on having a consistent track record of successful interactions. Once she realizes that I'm no longer a soft target, I expect the attacks to decrease. I am not there yet but working toward that goal.
/r/askMRP01/06/18 08:33 PM
1

Agreed. My mother was a master. Things changed around about age 16. Then I did what I wanted. I didn't care what she thought and lost the urge to explain. Dad had my back, too. I'm working on doing the same again now. I just skimmed the PDF and will give the techniques a try. More arrows in the quiver can't hurt.
/r/askMRP01/06/18 04:37 PM
1

Just looked it up. Yes and versus no but. My style has been more no but. I've got some work to do...
/r/askMRP01/06/18 04:17 PM
1

Done and done. Classes start next month.
/r/askMRP01/06/18 04:02 PM
1

As I work to get out of her frame, the mindset of being beholden is becoming less of an issue. Verbal skills are a weak area that I need to correct. Your examples show that my go to responses are too linear. I need to use more disruptive responses that switch up the pattern. This is why humor works. It disrupts the pattern and that moment of surprise generates laughter. I will work on this more in other social situations. Plus improv or stand-up classes may be in order.
/r/askMRP01/06/18 03:23 PM
1

There are occasions when I provoke her but I'm working on eliminating that behavior. I'm sure this past behavior has contributed to her belief that whenever I make her upset it makes me happy.
/r/askMRP01/06/18 05:33 AM
1

It didn't feel like DEERing, where I was in her frame backpedaling in response to her questions. But she wasn't in my frame. It was more...neutral. When I A&A and pull it off, she's instantly in my frame. I obviously made this too complicated and will stick with the basics next time.
/r/askMRP01/06/18 05:21 AM
1

Ask yourself these questions: Would she act this way with George Clooney? If not, why not? Your solution is simple but challenging: You must become your own version of George Clooney. In other words, you have to increase your SMV such that she "discovers" there is a significant, discernible gap between her lower SMV and your higher SMV and acts accordingly. Read the comment by jacktenofhearts titled "The Captain and Her Husband" which is in his post titled "The Three Dysfunctional Captains and f…
/r/askMRP30/05/18 05:47 PM
1

Around age 2, my kids went through a Rambo "no" stage. It was a power play and used arbitrarily and unfairly. To say it was annoying is an understatement. I could see how the same would be true for a grown ass man rediscovering this power.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/18 12:09 AM
2

Question: Why do you think she goes ballistic when you mock her? Answer: She actually BELIEVES what she is saying. She doesn't care what you believe and she doesn't want to have a rational conversation about politics or gender dynamics. She's frustrated and wants to vent. Don't look at this as an opportunity to convert her. You will fail. One of the great things about RP is that your LTR does not need to believe in RP for it to work. Final piece of advice: Stop calling yourself pathetic . . . it…
/r/askMRP23/05/18 07:45 PM
1

The power of a "NO!" with conviction and setting appropriate boundaries should not be underestimated. After 19 years of being a "YES!" boy without boundaries (and related covert contracts), I am still amazed by how doing the opposite can have such a positive effect. Great post
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/18 07:47 PM
4

OYS #3 Physical: Late 40s; 5'-8"; 184 lbs; body fat 18.9% (hydrostatic method in early May); bench 225 lbs, squat 200 lbs, deadlift 215 lbs, row 115 lbs, OHP 120 lbs; 5x5 program since February. Cardio (running or biking) on off days. Priority 1 is getting down to 165lbs, but last week that took a backseat to yard work and other tasks around the house. No lifting for a week, which put me out of balance. Got re-focused and I am now back to the gym and started cardio on off days. Nutrition is back…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/18 03:04 PM
20

Your post reads like a Where's Waldo of covert contracts. I'm sure I missed a few, but here are those I saw: Monk mode? Mommy please notice that I'm going my own way and ask me what's wrong so we can talk and things will get better. Intervention? If I agree with mommy and family, we can go to counseling and fix ourselves, so things will get better. Her trust issues? If I can discover why mommy doesn't trust me, I can fix it and things will get better. Being transparent about MRP? Mommy will see …
/r/askMRP12/05/18 11:16 AM
1

It's due to a combination of short arms, knee injuries and previous focus on upper body lifts.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 07:46 PM
1

OYS #2 Vital statistics update: Late 40s; married 20 years; 5'-8"; 180 lbs; body fat 19% (hydrostatic method); bench 225 lbs, squat 180 lbs, dead lift 205 lbs, row 115 lbs, OHP 110 lbs; 5x5 program since February; currently reading SGM. Relationship: This past weekend we were at one of my kid's sporting events. During one of the games, wife catches a glimpse my kid's former coach. He's now head coach at a prestigious school near us. She says, "oh, there's coach," jumps up and runs over to him, g…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 03:04 PM
2

Despite being raised in a conventional (for the time) family with a strong father who was the leader of our family, I failed to follow his example in my own marriage. I found MRP because my relationship was a failure and everything (every Blue Pill thing) I tried failed to improve the situation. If I suddenly found myself single tomorrow, I would not get married. Society has changed to the point where the risks significantly outweigh the benefits. If the trend line of the past 60 years holds (as…
/r/askMRP28/04/18 07:03 PM
1

Higher bench is due to a combination of having short arms, ignoring leg lifts for many years, and suffering knee injuries a few years ago. Good point on the connection between frame and boundaries--different sides of the same coin.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/18 05:01 PM
2

Vital statistics: Jack10 archetype: I am closest to "The Captain and Her Husband" (not an exact match, though); married 20 years; Late 40s; 5'-8"; 187 lbs; bodyfat % unknown; bench 225 lbs, squat 160 lbs, deadlift 205 lbs, row 105 lbs, OHP 100 lbs; 5x5 program since February; Family: Me, wife, and two kids (teenagers); MRP: lurking around MRP and askMRP since December 2017; Sidebar: read several sidebar books last year but struggled (and still do, to some extent) to put it all together. I'm stil…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/18 12:34 AM
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