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rockhoppernostopper Archive

View 6 posts and 119 comments by rockhoppernostopper on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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16

It's usually code for "I've accomplished absolutely nothing aside from producing children".
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 05:44 PM
27

"I'm the mother of your children!!!"
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 05:19 PM
1

I highly doubt it's binding and even if somehow is it could possibly be argued that it was signed under duress as it was done mid argument.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 02:21 PM
2

Spousal support and alimony are not the same? Honest question. Sounds the same to me
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 12:39 AM
7

You don't save up 12 mil by not being a cheap ass :D
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 12:38 AM
3

There's no justice here friend.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 05:38 PM
4

It doesn't show specifics, just the outcome of the hearing. I'd ask him but then I'd look like a total weirdo for looking up his court records.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 03:07 PM
7

As far as I understand it the PI provided photographic evidence that she had a man living with her. Obviously I wasn't at the hearing and this is just what he told me. I feel like there has to be more to it because they would need to prove this wasn't just a male roommate. Also in my state the 90 days must be consecutive so if he goes and sleeps on a friends couch on day 89 the timer stars over. I'm not sure how photos alone would support that unless this PI had 90 pictures of them in bed togeth…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 01:17 PM
9

A friend of mine did. He hired a PI and was able to prove cohabitation (it's 90 days here). It was an expensive endeavor though. Less expensive in the long run, but the up front costs were high. I looked up the case and yea, alimony was terminated. While they were there they went ahead an nearly doubled his child support... What a load of crap. IT IS ORDERED AND AGREED PLAINTIFF'S REHABILITATIVE ALIMONY OBLIGATION SHALL TERMINATE. BOTH PARTIES WAIVE ANY ALIMONY FROM >THE OTHER PARTY. BEGINNING M…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 12:55 PM
1

All I have to say is... Fuck you dude
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 09:19 PM
4

My ex always gave me the impression they were HER kids. I was treated like little more than an NPC in her world. One of the best things about my divorce was having the opportunity to connect with my kids without being hovered over and belittled the entire time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 04:16 PM
3

Yep, I let my emotions get the better of me and needed a "gotcha" moment. The feel goods only lasted a moment however... Don't say a word OP
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 10:12 PM
1

Ohhh I gotcha I was confused as to how you could force someone to be married to you. Sorry, went over my head :)
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 10:08 PM
2

Can you expand on this? How would they get remarried? Why would the get remarried?
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 04:26 PM
2

I do very well in tech with no degree.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 01:27 PM
1

Let them carry on, let her sit in the affair fog thinking she's "in love" or whatever bullshit. Hopefully they shack up and depending on your state lays (90 days cohabitation here), there goes that alimony. Stink your need for revenge to the side and play the long game my dude.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 12:03 PM
0

GTFO
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 06:20 PM
2

A good portion I suspect. Then you fall into the "cheaper to keep her" realm.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 09:20 PM
3

I am male and was married over 15 years. After traversing family court I'll never marry again. But my point wasn't about expressing my opinion on the matter. I think you'd find the majority of the responses here are like mine in this sub. Basically, I want you to have an unbiased answer.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 08:02 PM
1

I feel like you're going to get a very biased answer here. Are you looking for a real response or an echo chamber?
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 07:34 PM
3

How does this work? Alimony is usually terminated when they get remarried or cohabitate for a certain period of time. So if someone were to lump sum pay off alimony and they ex remarried could you recover that money?
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 11:55 AM
6

That’s how court works. I have less issue with the judgement than I do with the law itself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 06:32 PM
1

Well feel free to help OP here.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 02:28 PM
4

Fuck!! Can you pop on over to r/legaladvice for some more qualified input? Edit: Let me clarify, this is in lieu of you being able to obtain another attorney like right now. I am not suggesting in anyway that r/legaladvice is a substitution for an actual hired attorney. It's Friday afternoon, offices are shutting down, and you need to be as well equipped as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 04:58 PM
2

This is interesting. I know my ex has been sending screenshots of our communications to her lawyer on the regular. I'm in a no fault state so it wasn't clear to me what the purpose of this was unless she was looking for a restraining order or something. But I know she's burnt through her entire retainer already and I think that was his objective with the dramatics.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/22 12:11 PM
1

I KNOW lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 04:49 PM
1

Yes, I hear ya sir! I have a divorce attorney who has already referred me to an attorney who can handle my QDRO and the trust. I know you're just trying to help me not fuck this up and I appreciate that man. This was also sort of a two part post in that I wanted to see the communities stance on that post from the other sub.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 04:27 PM
2

That's fair. I like to have some idea of what I want to do before I go spend money talking to my lawyer. But I get what you're saying.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 03:15 PM
3

I'm not well educated in trusts at this time so I wasn't aware that was an option. I think you just solved my dilemma!
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 01:47 PM
7

15+ years of being a spineless sap.. That's all I can say for myself and it's a hard habit to break. But I am working on it!
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 12:03 AM
5

Email only is where we recently ended up. I dislike that we cannot communicate in a more real time manner but I was just sick of my immediate thought being "ohhh what the fuck now" every time I got a text.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 03:13 PM
1

I’ve been dealing with her for so long now I get worried when I’m not the A hole. Man, same here... If it's too quiet my paranoia sets in and I start conjuring up what she's plotting and all the ways I'm about to get fucked over. Sometimes the chaos it preferable since I at least know what I'm dealing with.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 01:12 PM
1

Completely agree. I can't think of the last good deed I did concerning that did not go unpunished.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 06:05 PM
1

Can you turn off paper statements and switch to digital only?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 03:15 PM
7

They passed a property act in 2020 where I live in canada that states even unmarried people in a relationship split everything 50/50. That's some bullshit! This shouldn't apply to relationships predating the law as this could be a serious factor in someone's decision to cohabitate. Not that it should be a law at all but it being retroactive is extra fucked. But what do I know?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 03:13 PM
9

Word of caution about those calculators... I used one to determine what I should pay and to "do the right thing" when things were amicable and prior to speaking to an attorney. Ended up establishing status quo and essentially volunteering quite a bit more than I was supposed to pay.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 02:35 PM
2

On the bright side she doesn't seem very clever leaving her "proof" out in the open.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 02:27 PM
3

And you know how death by 1000 cuts works......it's not the one thing I mentioned that gets you. It's not raking leaves right or putting too much butter in the eggs. It's chiming in on not hanging a clock right. It's feeding the dog too much. It's questioning any decision I made OVER AND OVER....... I can certainly relate to this. The worst part is I was being constantly belittled by the ONE person in the world I could not handle being belittled by.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 01:43 PM
6

I'm pretty sure she was really pissed that day (shocking) and I got an "I don't want anything from youuu!!!" Well other than money..
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 11:06 PM
9

Yep, dropped the ball on ALL of these and the results were exactly as described. Last week I was picking up some food before getting the kids from her place and asked if she wanted anything. After the fact I was like "what the fuck are you doing?!"
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 04:04 PM
2

She also agrees that involving lawyers in every decision is a waste of money. While I don't necessarily agree this could be her not wanting you to adequately represent yourself or an expectation that this will be "amicable" (please don't lean on this as truth, it can change quick). TLRD: Get a lawyer please.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 09:56 PM
2

Good lord I did a bit over two months and thought I was going to crack.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 01:58 PM
5

Great advice. I spent way too long distraught at the results of my EX's smear campaign. It really stifled my progress returning to being a real human being.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 08:26 PM
2

Ahh yes, I got sarcastically referred to as "super dad" and being "the man she always wanted me to be" after we split up. Honestly I probably would have been "super dad" before if I didn't have someone observing my every move and routinely correcting my parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 02:09 PM
4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaFyKW0TmH8
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 06:07 PM
1

I came to realize that I could never step into the roll that she required of me. Honest question, do you think anyone could have stepped into this role?
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 11:02 PM
3

Quite possibly, I was trying not to generalize. Based on a lot of posts here I'd say that's accurate.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 02:05 PM
2

NOPE
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 06:55 PM
32

If she regrets it all I can say is I hope she lands in a better place. If she doesn't regret it then good for her. Surely early on in the process I had fantasies of her wallowing in despair but those desires no longer serve me in a positive manner.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 02:36 PM
5

I've somehow never heard of imputed income. After Googling and seeing this I despise family court even more somehow. Imputation of income means that a rate of income is fixed for a party regardless of his or her current circumstance. I'm sorry OP, it appears I have a similar situation and didn't even know it. I hope you find a way to rid yourself of this stress man.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 09:02 PM
5

Running around telling anyone who would listen how incompetent I am. Let's be real, moving out, into an apartment, and trying to completely decouple 15+ year mingled finances comes with some bumps. But ANY little issue I ran into she was on the phone "rockhopper is so stupid he can't even do XYZ". It bothered me at first because it was amazingly untrue. I am 100% better suited for independent living and I think she just hated that I wasn't floundering in the wind. It was a lot easier to deal wit…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/22 05:53 PM
1

Do you have a dollar figure in mind for the "credit" of birthing a child? Is it $1k? $10k? Just curious.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 04:04 PM
1

Second hardest job in the world!!!
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 12:05 AM
7

Hardest job in the world!!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 03:15 PM
2

THIS!! You are very likely to establish status quo if you pluck a number out of the air or even if you use your states calculator (sometimes inaccurate). This is how I ended up paying $1k a month too much and unable to get myself out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 09:29 PM
13

Oh I supposedly made my ex have an affair too! Then it wasn't an affair. Then it was again. Then it was but I should have "stopped" her. These people are crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 06:33 PM
4

Oh man, the crystals... The fucking crystals! Statues of Hindu gods she doesn't even know the names of. The sage burning nonsense. She basically lost touch with reality at the end there.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 12:56 PM
3

Do I like the blue or the teal? They're both blue!!! :D
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 12:20 AM
3

Look at this paint color!!
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 11:42 PM
1

Could be malnutrition, I'm certainly no doctor though. Can you talk her into at least taking a multivitamin?
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 01:28 PM
1

Is she binge drinking?
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 01:00 PM
6

My ex basically thought her life wasn't going to change at all It's strange how common this seems to be.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 04:49 PM
9

The system runs the way that it runs so the breadwinner foots the bill for the spouse and not the state. Leave the low earning spouse with nothing then they end up on government assistance and they don't want to pay that for every cheating whore out there.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 07:45 PM
3

That's awfully nice of you OP. Thank you :)
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 08:25 PM
3

I appreciate you saying that. I'm not proud of the path I took and my drunkenness led me to say things that I can never take back. I don't hate this woman, in fact I will love her as a person until I die. All I've wanted wanted her to be happy and I failed tragically. I guess I'm getting off OP's topic but alcohol led me to make some very bad and immature choices. I've severely damaged our ability to cooperant. It was a group effort but I can only take responsibility for my part in that. If my c…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 08:45 PM
6

Stay away from alcohol There's a lot of amazing points in this comment but I just wanted to relay a personal anecdote concerning this one. I dove into the bottle for about 4 or 5 months following my separation. Eventually my body started to begin showing signs of this. Random bruising, simple injuries taking a long time to heal, etc. I eventually decided to start tapering back and I'm currently drinking maybe 15% of what I was with the goal of being alcohol free soon. What I can say is that all …
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/21 03:44 PM
3

I found a lot of support in various Discord communities. Not necessarily one specific to divorce but rather the more general friendly ones with people from all walks of life. If you're not sure where to find these servers https://disboard.org/ is a good place to start
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/21 07:00 PM
1

Do you have kids? Might we worth just stashing them somewhere out of sight and mind in case they want them someday.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/21 04:16 PM
2

It wasn't until we separated and our finances were untangled that I realized she was dropping between 500 and 1000 a month on Amazon crap! I mean I saw all the boxes on the porch everyday. I saw boxes that would sit unopened for months. Just turned a blind eye to it for the sake keeping the peace.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/21 02:51 PM
1

You're right.. I wasn't always this way. I spent 15+ years avoiding confrontation with her and that's 100% on me. Consider your advice heard sir. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 05:59 PM
5

Honestly that video has sort of stirred something in me. I don't care if she's seeing people, I sort of care if people are around my kids (not so much if they are decent people). She's just the type to send the new BF on a mission I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 01:01 AM
2

Happy for you brother! Onto your new life.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 08:49 PM
2

I always wondered how it ended up that way. I supposed she just got to a point where she no longer felt she had to accommodate me to keep me around. Boy was she wrong lol
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 11:04 AM
2

I also spent a few months where it sounds like you are now. Specifically in terms of anger, depression, and anxiety. It was like I'd wake up and wonder "well, which of the three am I today?" and I'd just bounce from bad emotion to bad emotion. While it might not be your sort of thing, a friend of mine turned me onto meditation. At his recommendation I downloaded the Insight Timer app. It helped me tremendously with the anger and anxiety which in turn led to a decrease in my overall depressive st…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 04:35 PM
3

God damn this is step by step how it went down for me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/21 05:58 PM
2

Yep, to internet strangers. Meanwhile she could say whatever she wanted about me to people I know in real life. I no longer try to make sense of her anymore lol
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 04:51 PM
2

this may set up a precedence once lawyers are involved Yep, shot myself right in the foot doing this same thing. Now I'm stuck paying nearly double what a court would have ordered.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 02:03 PM
11

So she's reddit stalking you? If so, this happened to me as well and I had no choice but to nuke my old account. She admitted to checking me to "make sure I wasn't talking shit" about her. Complete child...
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/21 05:44 PM
2

Someone once told me "alcohol is just borrowing tomorrows happiness for today". Should have listen to them..
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/21 06:49 PM
4

If you think you can drink yourself out of the pain
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/21 03:24 PM
23

I'm no longer getting yelled at, dealing with passive aggressive slamming of doors, and having the occasional item (usually my stuff) thrown at me. So I got that goin for me!
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 05:41 PM
6

No
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 03:15 PM
1

Fair enough, I'll take a look :)
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 03:11 PM
5

Something about the term "Alpha" makes me cringe every time
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 02:00 PM
1

Got it thanks. I thought it might be more acceptable in court than text messages and whatnot.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 04:21 PM
1

have all communication go through Our Family Wizard Sorry for my ignorance but what does this do for you?
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 03:52 PM
2

Is getting drunk and sending volatile text messages on the list? I sure fucked that one up.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 12:08 PM
7

Weaponizing children is horrible. It makes you realize how many people view their kids as possessions.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 12:36 PM
2

This is familiar in a way. Once a week I was getting lectured about how unfair our division of responsibilities was. I finally had enough of the shit and made a chore chart which clearly displayed the lopsided nature of our relationship and responsibilities. Chore chart disappeared soon after..
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/21 03:49 PM
1

My ex and I had what I believe was an "overachiever underachiever relationship". I made the money and I handled all of the adult things which I thought was being helpful. I thought I was providing. Turned out I was shooting myself in the foot. Just one thing to think about bro. I hope you get this worked out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/21 03:46 PM
1

Projection? Is she contributing? Could it be that she feels unequal to you in that sense?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/21 02:17 PM
3

children’s daycare/school @ $1800 per month Am I just naïve or is this a huge figure?
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 05:33 PM
1

I imagine if you're on the plan you can call customer service and asked what happened.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/21 02:09 PM
4

Ideally, Mom should be having none of it and supporting them to stay with you. What I wouldn't give for that. It's really difficult to keep them when their mom is 100% willing to come "rescue" them for lack of a better word. It really make me feel like some evil prison guard or something.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/21 01:13 PM
3

I really never even said anything about her with that account. The only times I did, I used throwaways when I needed advice. And who cares what I say anonymously to a bunch of internet strangers? Meanwhile she's slandering me to anyone who will listen and these are people I know in real life. It was really bizarre so I just pulled the plug on the account and moved on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/21 04:22 PM
3

She was concerned I was "talking shit about her" but I have no idea what her actual agenda was. I was discussing divorce stull a lot then (still am) so maybe she was just gathering intel.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/21 04:14 PM
7

I had to delete my old reddit account for exactly this reason.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/21 03:55 PM
2

I am finding the silence unbearable right now... I hope I adjust soon.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 02:37 PM
2

And if you do need your family they'll take it from you. At least mine did...
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 04:42 AM
4

You poor bastard you have my respect.
/r/MGTOW210/07/21 08:02 PM
8

8k a month? You must have had one hell of an income before it all went to shit.
/r/MGTOW210/07/21 02:52 PM
4

I recall my ex telling my kid, right on front of me, "mommy found a boyfriend because daddy was ignoring her". What kind of a monster says that to a 6 year old?
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 03:22 PM
1

I'm in one of these states and spent about 2 months trying to find someplace to move to. It was a complete shit show. We fought more in those 2 months than probably the entire year prior.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/21 02:23 PM
1

This is pretty much how it went yea. What is happening in panel 8?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 06:53 PM
6

I heard the same line but it was during that trickle truth phase. He was just a friend, honest family man, he was going to come visit us someday (it was an internet fling). So yea, she told me he was her "bestie" and I would really like him. Of course over time I pieced together her bullshit. But telling you that after the discovery? That's some bold bullshit right there.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 07:17 PM
1

I believe SC as well
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 05:16 PM
5

How about you stay out of it?
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/21 06:34 AM
4

She bought endless junk Man I had no idea how much that steady stream of Amazon packages was really costing me. I thought divorce was going to wreck me financially (it has in terms of retirement) but my paychecks (what portion I get to keep) survives 5 times as long now as they used to.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 03:53 PM
2

Gotta watch out for those rebounds.. I have 1 year of separation and then intend to start a 2 year timer after that before I consider any sort of relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 02:01 PM
2

The point of marriage isn’t to endure it. There is no prize for making a miserable marriage last a long time. Please go back ten years and tell me this. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 01:13 PM
4

I tried.. I failed. It consumed me over time and my level of contempt for her just multiplied over time. I thought I could handle it but it just ended up being unfair to both of us really.. I was putting myself through hell meanwhile I was punishing her for what she did. If I could go back and split when I found out and not have stuck around another year I would have.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 03:33 PM
2

I tried this. They still bought her shit. But at least I tried and I'd say this is solid advice. I guess it depends on how high a level the manipulation mage you're dealing with is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 04:41 PM
1

She will hit you again. Been there, done that...
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/21 12:48 PM
2

Sure thing. I was looking for a way to get at one of my 401k's as I'm in a similar situation as you. In my state we have a mandatory 1 year separation and I've been told that the QRDO can only be granted at time of divorce. So I guess I have to stare at my money I need really badly for a year.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/21 04:10 PM
2

When is your divorce final? Look into a QODR (Qualified Domestic Relations Order)
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/21 12:48 PM
3

Only thing I'd get out of that would be a further ass kicking in court.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 05:09 PM
2

or I should have an affair Really? What would you gain from that?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:56 PM
5

I'm doing sort of the same now. I have a giant MS OneNote going on with tabs for divorce, moving, work, etc. It helps me stay organized and I get a little dopamine when I check off a box.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/21 01:47 PM
1

Amen
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/21 09:16 AM
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