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sammyb1122 Archive

View 3 posts and 432 comments by sammyb1122 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

That's not what she said. She said that the men who don't want to improve themselves will die off, while the ones that do will have kids, who are more likely to be self-improvers and so on. Not all men are garbage. And every man has a choice of who they want to be and what they want to do. If they want to wallow in self-pity, that's their choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:38 AM
–

What problems? Unemployment in Iceland is higher for women than men. Equal pay is legislated, so women cannot be paid more. But men still earn on average more than women, so they are hardly in worse jobs. Would you like to swap? Including child brlesring responsibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:30 AM
–

You have stated an opinion. There is no data or logic or any other support for your opinion. I agree with you to a very small, almost negligible degree. But that is also just my opinion, I have no data or logic to support it. You will find most male leaders are either tall or good looking or both. Very rarely neither. Same with partners of high status women (celebrities, models), and men who get hit on. But it's not doom and gloom, like women, men can do a lot to improve their physical appearanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 06:43 AM
3

Ok sure. Some bad men also have bad women cheering them on. But nowhere near all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:03 PM
2

No one, including me, is saying that you have cherry picked anything. You made the point that humanity is nuanced, which is the point made by OP. I and OP are saying that red pill conclusions about women cherry pick certain observations. I have no idea what you think about women, you haven't said anything about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:01 PM
3

I genuinely don't know what to do with that information. You are blaming all the bad shit done by male leaders on... their wives? I don't think Trump listens to women. Nor does Iran. Nor does Putin. Nor did Hitler. And yet that's what you took from this post?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:55 PM
2

That's not my experience as a man, which means it's not universal, so it's valid for women to screen out men who have no platonic female friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:52 PM
3

You are making OP's point then. If you cherry pick data, then you can find any pattern you want. But if you actually want to look at the causes and nuances, then things become much more grey than red pill would suggest.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:49 PM
5

You have completely missed the point of the post. All you have shown is your bias against women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:44 PM
3

If they're sexless, why isn't there a more even gender split?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:39 PM
1

Haha, none of this has changed my agreement with OP's point. How many female friends are these guys falling for? Every single one? One at a time maybe, any more than that is a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:36 PM
–

If you think the people who say those things have no clue, then why worry about what they say. Worry about the opinions of people you respect, not clueless strangers. Let them drown in their own negativity.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:25 AM
1

You did very well with this post. Your intelligence relating to people, and good communication, really comes through. And it showed, most people could not disagree with you. But... it is a bit blunted by the chip on your shoulder against men. Most issues cut across both genders, although not equally. I think you should acknowledge this just a bit more to get more centrist support. But I get in PPD 90% of the extremists are RP men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:43 AM
3

I read the heading and downvoted, but I read the text and realised you are talking about promoting a level of humanity above what most people in this sub is aiming for. I agree with you - some people are so selfless and content in their life that their focus is not on getting the best partner possible, which is kind of like accumulating as much wealth for yourself as possible. The extreme version is able-bodied people who have relationships with disabled people. It's a different class of person …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:12 AM
0

Well said, end of discussion. I was going to ask OP to summarize what men want, and then watch the disagreements roll in
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:24 AM
3

Yep, that's what the study says is likely if we make it easier to have babies with no fathers. It also puts it in an evolutionary context and says.... oh well. If men want to drop out of the natural selection process, that's their choice. They can always choose differently if they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 09:53 PM
4

This is the solution to the problem. The problem is falling birthrates. Currently, not enough people want kids. Not enough women want relationships. So one solution is to encourage more single mothers.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 09:47 PM
1

I don't disagree that both men and women date around their own level/value. And below a certain level you cannot generate attraction. I think this is fairly universally accepted. The difference between red and blue pill, is that I don't think standards are unique to women, and I don't think that only looks/alpha/money contribute to a man's appeal. I believe that for at least some women, personality, kindness, EQ etc also matter. So be the best version of yourself, not what someone on the interne…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:52 PM
1

I read the section on male marginalisation. That women may need men less and less for resources and producing offspring. My response is... what then? I think the responses are aligned between red and blue pill - work on yourself. They may differ in what to work on, but either way, if a man wants either a short or long term relationship, then it is up to you to eithwr try, or otherwise give up. I am happy to agree with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:37 PM
11

C'mon, your bias comes through in your question. The study and authors are not recommending male marginalization to solve the fertility crisis. They are recommending encouraging more single motherhood, which may have the unfortunate side effect of reducing interest in relationships for some of those women. Personally I don't think it would make a huge difference - women who would consider single motherhood either can't find a male partner or aren't actively seeking it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 11:56 AM
13

I don't think this is true. 5 women don't think they are 10s. Many women do already have realistic standards, and the ones that don't, obviously, by definition, won't get what they are looking for. But that's their choice. When women talk about standards, they are talking about what is "normal" to them - eg some level of attraction, th guy actually wants a LTR, fair/considerate, decent communicator. That doesn't sound like a high standard to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 11:48 AM
-2

Sure. But in keeping with the theme of the post, ie that self pity is the real enemy, hopefully you didn't just give up on any hope of a relationship ever from that experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 02:31 AM
3

I don't think you understood the post. It didn't say "go out to pull women". It said '"go out, it will change how you see yourself and the world, and after that happens, then you have a much better chance of pulling women." You can't skip the all important middle part, which is to get out of self-pity mode. Self pity is EXTREMELY unattractive, to both men and women, in friendships as well as relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 01:34 AM
8

I agree. Maybe some women expect this, but it is a small minority. So if you believe this is true for the majority of women, then you are getting your truth from someonw on the internet pushing an agenda, rather than reality. Most modern women want to keep their agency, and being dependent on a man is not the way to do that. The exception as you said would be women with no education or job prospects.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 10:27 PM
0

Not immune, just less susceptible. There's not enough very dumb blue pillers to incentivize a mass industry of scammers. Unlike red pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:25 AM
-3

Maybe it's because we're not dumb enough to get sucked in by a bunch of grifters and scammers?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:42 PM
-2

Many women are already doing their part. Women are diverse, which we clearly see as we walk around. There might be a modal taste, ie the traditional "tall dark and handsome", but maybe that is 30-40% of women. There will be some that don't care about height, some who don't care about age, some who don't care about muscles, some who don't care about style. Which is why blue pill's "be the best version of YOURSELF" actually makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:00 AM
3

I think hegemonic masculinity has a stronger, more unquestioned influence among younger men. You aren't yet clear on exactly who you are, and you've maybe not met as wide a diversity of men. I fully agree with your take and post. But if you have fairly narrow life experience, you won't be able to see beyond what you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:50 AM
14

Your heading and the body of your post seem unrelated to me. The actual evidence in the body of your post relates to education levels, not personality. You have given your personal opinion that the explanation of the evidence relates to personality, but I don't see any evidence to support your opinion. So your heading therefore is just your opinion. In my opinion, I disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:29 AM
5

This is easy to debate, since the truth is already in your post. The more factual part of what you said refers to distributions. Unless you can show that the male variability distributions have two distinct clusters around higher values and lower values, then what is more likely is normal distribution, ie most men are still around average. So at best you can have most men as "middle value" men, with some low value and high value men. But you have to have the same for women, just with slightly mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:45 PM
39

I definitely don't think this is a way to make friends. The foundation of a friendship is having something in common (even if it's just some shared history, eg attending the same school). So approaching strangers in a bar, who are almost certainly not looking for new friends, doesn't seem like the best way to go about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 02:36 AM
4

I am blue pill, but I agree with this. Even the OP finishes with "and tell me what you are doing about your problems", which I think is a bar that women don't even expect from each other. So I think this post misses the mark in being useful or relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 12:42 AM
–

OK, so you want to ignore the point where I have provided support to try and focus on the point where I have not yet provided support. Great. Here is an accessible study showing that stated preferences (which your study relies on) are different to revealed preferences, ie what people actually do in real life. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/08902070241286254?utm_source=chatgpt.com&__cf_chl_f_tk=BBj9zLnj5gy7hsZmtdDrgLncmkpTJyPTRzRjcaCWguk-1783037748-1.0.1.1-86WiXA2PAkbAMFJJCvmd2YV2ZDE61X…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 12:21 AM
–

I made two different points. 1 is that your study is not the latest research in this area. My second was that the researcher you used also published other studies showing other desirable characteristics. I only shared an example of my second point to show that you have cherry picked one study to support your position, while ignoring everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 11:52 PM
–

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/246509044_International_preferences_in_selecting_mates_A_study_of_37_cul-tures
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 10:39 PM
–

Firstly, that study is over 20 years old. There have been more findings since then, eg differences in stated preference vs who people actually end up with. Also the researcher found in other studies that things like kindness also have a large impact on mate selection, not just looks/resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 10:05 PM
1

I think men who write like that are incapable of imagining anyone different to themselves, man or woman. It shocks me when someone who has zero lived experience of another person tells them with 100% certainty what they are "really" like.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 08:59 AM
1

I don't think the OP is aimed at you then. It is saying that if you are in the category of men that complain about women using men for their resources or whatever, AND you are also someone who goes to strip clubs or supports passport bros (I'll add in using porn, or using women for their bodies) THEN you are a hypocrite.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 02:38 AM
20

It's a valid point. Even on just the issue raised in their post, OP shows nuance when it comes to men, but treats women as a monolith. There is no chance that the majority of women, let alone all women, "talk about unselected men as if they are the boogy man". So the post loses all credibility to people not deep in the manosphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 02:18 AM
4

I don't think you have experienced self-assuredness then. No bravery is required if, when another person doesn't like me, it doesn't affect me. Bravery is only required if it does affect me. Self-assuredness is not being emotionally invested in what strangers think of me. Bravery is doing it even though I am invested in what other people think of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 11:22 PM
4

You are definitely talking about two different types of confidence. Self-assuredness says "I will be myself, and even if some people don't like me, I'm still going to be OK." Bravery is more "I'm going to project confidence, even if people don't like me and that hurts". Bravery is better than nothing, but self-asurredness is even better (unless you are an asshole). But self-assuredness requires knowing who you are, and being completely fine with being different to others. Many people (men includ…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 10:45 PM
3

Not all feminists are nasty to men. Some are. But many manosphere men are nasty about women. Same as the left and right of politics. So you are expecting something of other groups that your own group (male rights activists) haven't achieved. I suggest you encourage ALL people to be nicer and more tolerant, rather than just one sub group. You actually have more influence over your fellow men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:53 AM
1

Actually, no. There would be plenty of people who have never heard of pills, that actually do clinical research, that say exactly the same thing as I did. Think of what a psychologist would say if you asked them. Most of them would have no idea what red or blue pill are. Ie red pill is backed up by online influencers. Blue pill is backed up by real scientific research.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:23 AM
4

It sounds like you've listened to a rp influencer give their take on bp. No blue pill person says those things. As others have pointed out, "just be yourself" actually means to "be the best version of yourself, while staying true to how you are wired". While rp tells you to pretend to be something you aren't, blue pill encourages you to grow into your full potential. Focusing on yourself is how you do this. It is part of normal life, not some short term thing where you remove yourself from socie…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 12:56 AM
17

It's a weak post if you expect me to look for the evidence. Finding separate examples of one person saying "I just need the bare minimum" and a whole different person with a long list of requirements is meaningless. It's the same with men - some have high standards, some don't. If you want to give any kind of evidence, find an example of the SAME person saying both: "bare minimum" as well as an impossible list
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:55 AM
29

Do you have an actual example of this in the dating world, or does it all exist in your head? Saying something is true does not even count as evidence that it is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:43 AM
–

I love these loaded questions, that start with a redpill stereotype, and ask women to confirm that it's true. An equivalent would be "redpill guys, tell me how much you hate women? Is it just a little bit, or is it a lot?"
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:08 AM
1

Because they are very similar. If he thinks we shouldn't listen to women to hear their perspective on dating, then he should similarly believe that hubsands shouldn't listen to their wives to hear their perspective on their marriages.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:04 AM
1

I don't understand how you guys are missing this... the dating we are talking about also involves a man and a woman. So the same principles apply. If men want to date other men, then absolutely don't get any advice from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:52 PM
0

I don't think it's any different at all. Both are about finding something that works for both people. If men only listen to men about dating (or marriage), they will only be doing what works for them, not women, which will lead to breakdown.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:34 PM
0

I think she means the incel part. So you're trying to tell us that you learned how to make your marriage a success without listening to your wife?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 10:28 PM
–

I haven't seen any blue pill replies so far... my belief is that damaged people are attracted to and will attract damaged people. There is no way a secure, well-adjusted person is specifically attracted to those behaviours. You might say here on reddit that they are all well-adjusted women. But none of us can know the truth behind what you are claiming, so this is all hypothetical.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:11 AM
5

According to... you know... facts, you are nowhere near correct thankfully. https://np.reddit.com/r/science/comments/1gcgxss/around_25_of_men_and_14_of_women_admitting_to/
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 11:48 AM
10

Thanks for sharing. It's very useful to have hard data to understand how strong the observation is. I would categorise the difference from this study as small, eg the difference in height between men and women is around 3-4 times more than the difference in neuroticism. The study also drills down into two aspects of neuroticism - anxiety vs volatility. Most of the difference is in anxiety, while the difference in volatility was not significant. I think most people understand neuroticism as volat…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:45 AM
5

This is a very mature and self-aware take, thanks for sharing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:17 AM
10

You lost me at "a lot of women are neurotic..." I don't see that in my circles, and if you want me to believe this, please share some meta analysis to support it. I think you had an interesting nugget of truth in that women probably do select for confidence more than men, but I can't take you seriously when you think so lowly of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:11 AM
6

But someone who had already decided that there is no point in trying will definitely have no social interaction, whereas for someone who at least tries, sometimes they will get it and sometimes they won't. Please don't pre-judge outcomes to the point where you don't even try.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:48 PM
12

Dude, you are assuming good things just "happen" to other people, while bad things just "happen" to you. You have wired your brain to see, expect and manifest negativity. If someone stays in a hostel, they can isolate themselves, or put themselves out there. Ie they are agents in their life outcomes, not passive sufferers.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:19 PM
–

Sure, you can encourage. But most pill language is more bullying and belittling than encouraging. Or wanting "society" to somehow change people's minds. Encouragement already exists - it's not enough to make a huge difference, because at the end of the day people are self-interested
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:01 AM
–

What is moral about attraction and preference? How can you say that you are right? In another area... which is "right" - being frugal and saving money for the future, or spending money and living life now? They both have advantages and disadvantages, and everyone gets to make that choice for themselves, including somewhere in the middle.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:36 AM
–

This is the best rebuttal I have seen. You can reframe and expand people's thinking, but that's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:32 AM
–

I started to think along a similar line, but what would that look like? How would society incentivize people do be attracted to or consent to something they otherwise would not?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:31 AM
2

This is good stuff
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 01:22 PM
2

Yes I agree that leadership representation will take the longest to correct. I'm not sure how much industry preference is biological vs patriarchy vs a mix of both. So maybe not every industry will have equal gender representation in leadership. But across all industries, leadership representation should be roughly in line with workforce participation, and I don't think we are near that yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 05:24 AM
4

Yep. Over their lifetimes, at a total population level, men will earn on average slightly more and be promoted slightly more than women, due to career breaks some women will take to have and nurse children. That's biology. But women should be paid the same for the same work, be comfortable and safe in any workplace without fear of harassment or discrimination, and have similar representation in leadership - they are examples of opression.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:18 AM
0

I agree that misandry exists. I don't agree with your second position, that "systematic oppression of men" exists. Your examples (the draft, occupational deaths, legal system treatment) are all a result of the patriarchy - when men had all the power they also took a lot of the responsibility. These will undo over time as the patriarchy is dismantled, some faster than others. But there will always be some level of difference due to biology - that's not oppression, it's just unavoidable fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:03 AM
10

You seem to want feminism, which exists to achieve equality for women (I am over-simplifying but you get the idea), to somehow also aim to solve your personal problems. How come you don't fight more for world hunger? Peace in the middle east? Everyobe has issues and topics that are important to them. Feminism isn't supposed to solve every issue in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:25 AM
0

No I don't agree that physical violence is a likely outcome of challenging locker room talk WITH PEOPLE I KNOW. Maybe strangers. But let's start with calling it out among our friends, family and colleagues - that would go a long, long way. I also don't agree that rejecting a woman "is almost guaranteed" to escalate physically. Wtf. That's a crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:14 AM
1

This is such an over-simplification of the complexity of human relationships that it could only be believed by someone who had only read about them but never lived one. All relationships have good points and bad points. Just because you setyled down a bit later in life does not mean there is no passion or effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:43 PM
5

You can share what is true for you, but you are not an authority on all men. Your belief does not apply to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:52 AM
2

I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:48 PM
4

Haha, you've gone from cherry picking studies that support your view of the world, to just "Every society on Earth is hypergamous", as if your view of the world has to be true, and should be obvious to everyone. Have a great day.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 09:49 AM
5

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23586697/ This is a meta study, and finds "a new meta-analysis spanning the attraction and relationships literatures (k = 97) revealed that physical attractiveness predicted romantic evaluations with a moderate-to-strong effect size (r = ∼.40) for both sexes, and earning prospects predicted romantic evaluations with a small effect size (r = ∼.10) for both sexes. Sex differences in the correlations were small (r difference = .03) and uniformly nonsignificant."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 09:46 AM
2

None of these are metastudies. The third study at least is based on multiple datasets, but it does not draw any conclusions on hypergamy - it only measures one factor ("resource acquisition ability", which includes intelligence and education, not just income or assets) and compares men vs women. So you can conclude that "resource acquisition ability" influences swipes on apps more for women than men, it doesn't compare it to looks or personality etc. In the second study, the r-square for income …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:44 AM
-2

Haha, please show me a metastudy that supports your findings, rather than a single, cherry-picked example. Until I see that, I will continue to base my beliefs on the hundreds of couples I see around me. I agree that doesn't make it a universal truth, but I have not seen anything convincing to contradict it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:57 AM
8

I disagree with the people on this sub who claim that most/all women are hypergamous, monkey-branch, shallow (only care about looks), and if they claim otherwise then they are liars. Also that most/all women have it 100% easy street with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:29 AM
10

I have no problem with what red pill tells men about themselves. I have a problem with what red pill tells men about women. What did you find on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:00 AM
9

Haha as soon as you wrote your own text rather than using AI then your true nature became much, much clearer. I am ignoring the rest of this thread since you have clear bias and no interest in debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:14 AM
9

While I agree to some extent with the problem, the conclusion makes no sense to me. The conclusion seems to be "since men and women are different, men should ignore women's wants and just follow their own drives. That will give them more success with women." I do think men and women in general should be more aware that we are generally wired differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:11 AM
6

I don't think women on average want to date up any more than men. Some people do, some don't. I think all of us can choose to improve our appearance or other aspects of ourselves to raise our overall appeal. I guess I'm saying that how people are attracted to other people is a given, and we can choose to maximise ourselves or not. I'm not really sure what point you are trying to make
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:53 AM
15

How about just that men on average have a higher libido than women? But I do think that when it comes to looks, 2 and 3 both apply. It doesn't mean women are superior overall, but our society is so sexualised that we have all been trained via media to appreciate female beauty more than male.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:37 AM
2

Please don't try to make arguments you don't understand. Researchers have statistics (eg p-value) to measure whether an observed relationship is statistically significant vs random chance. Outcomes I am referring to are rape, domestic violence, wages and share of unpaid labour.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:26 AM
1

Women have the same rights as men, but not the same outcomes. Why is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 09:44 PM
2

I never mentioned condemning anyone. I talked about supporting people, not condemning. f anything, OP could be construed as condemning women by advocating that all men withdraw their support.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 10:21 AM
4

I am referencing leadership representation, the pay gap, rape, domestic violence as well as unpaid labour distribution
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:33 AM
3

As long as women suffer more than men, I will support their side, despite the imperfections.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:03 AM
19

Because if I was in a disadvantaged position, I would want other people to do the same for me. It's the kind of world I want to live in.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:01 AM
3

Genuinely I think it was a reasonable misunderstanding. In my read of what you are trying to say, you are referring to basic decency, whereas OP is referring to relationships specifically. If I've got it wrong, then what you are trying to say is not as clear as you think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 11:06 PM
4

No one enjoys being used. Men can enjoy spending money, and women can enjoy sex. But both want to do it on terms they are comfortable and clear on, not under false pretences.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:16 AM
3

That's not what the OP is about at all. I believe you are intentionally missing the point and reframing it to suit your bias. If two adults are open and honest about what they both want, and are in agreement, then great. Go for it. That's not what this post is about. This post is about hiding and lying about your intentions to increase your chances of getting what you want, be it sex or a free meal. Most reasonable people seem to agree both are similarly bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 01:49 AM
1

You are ignoring what women are saying. They are referring to the grey dating phase, where the guy might become your partner, but isn't yet. What's your "it's super easy" advice for that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 11:51 PM
12

This seems like an anecdote of immature people, not something to draw universal truth from. If a girl chooses an asshole athlete over a nice guy with shared values, then that says something about her specifically, not all women. And if you are going to let one shallow girl impact your whole approach to women, then that says something about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:55 AM
1

And yet marriage probably pre-existed most of those, is more universal and will outlast all of them except maybe war. If you don't want to get married, then don't. But don't try to tell the millions of people worldwide who do want to that it's dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 10:14 PM
6

Both of those things have already been rejected by modern societies, but not marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:23 AM
3

If countless civilisations across thousands of years have seen value in marriage, that to me suggests something deeper than you are appreciating. Marriage pre-existed governments. There is something in our human nature that desires this stability.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:15 AM
9

If a woman has to (quote) "have plenty of experience fucking all kinds of unattractive and attractive men to come to the conclusion that looks matter little for orgasms during sex?", and you have zero experience of sex as a woman, then by your own standard you are even less qualified to reach any sort of conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:26 AM
6

I am just following your own logic. You are saying what women can't have an an informed opinion unless they have fucked a wide range of men. So I'm asking you how well you meet the bar you have set to qualify as having a valid opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:38 AM
5

How many men have you fucked as a woman to be able to know better than them?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 03:20 AM
20

This sums up redpillers right here... women share's her experience, man calls cap
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 09:55 PM
19

Is life about enjoyment or happiness, or feeding your ego? If someone is prioritising their ego over their own happiness, they are probably very insecure
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 09:24 PM
–

Yep agree. Men were and are happy with the status quo ante, women have been pushing for change, and some men aren't happy about gicing up their privilege. The data fits to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 11:35 PM
-4

Seems like you have selective empathy also. Rather than calling out hypocrisy in general, across both genders, you've specifically had a go at hypocritical women only.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:39 AM
5

I side with women much more than men here, probably a 3:1 ratio. But there are plenty of women who say dumb shit and men who say things that make sense. If you have never felt compelled to support the male side, then you are part of the gender war whether you realise it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 10:01 PM
–

Some guys do exactly the same thing. The thrill/excitement of dating someone hot but unpredictable appeals to some people. But it's not most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 12:04 AM
–

I don't take men as the experts on women. That would be like wealthy govt leaders listening to other wealthy people to understand what common people's issues are. I'm sure they also think "you can't listen to what poor people say, they have no idea".
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 01:39 AM
–

For those of us who don't consume RP content, and so all we know about RP is what they say on this sub, this is a very understandable conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 01:33 AM
3

OK I can see you are not here to learn and grow, so I am blocking your posts
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 06:51 AM
16

Dude, I have been on this sub for a long time. 19 times out of 20 it is a man posting dumb shit like this about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 06:17 AM
1

Carry on then
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 01:28 AM
28

Umm... men are not a monolith? Honestly, up until recently, the women in this sub sounded reasonable, and only some RP/incel men posted completely uninformed stuff like this. But it seems like the equivalent women have now found us!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 01:27 AM
7

These two different things have some correlation. Anyone (man or woman) who puts a lot of time and effort into their appearance is going to be more interested in shallow, appearance-based things than someone who doesn't. Keeping up with trends is likely to be more important to them. Being seen. Being validated for their appearance. You like the look of it, sure. But would you like the kind of person who is behind it?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 12:22 AM
0

No, you're wrong. There is an imbalance of power between a govt organization and an 18 year old, and there is a high likelihood of an imbalance of power between a 50 year old man and a 25 year old woman. It doesn't mean a healthy relationship isn't possible, but it is harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 09:04 PM
5

Thank you for trying. But it seems not many people agree with you. In my country (I'm not sure about the US), the government supports parents who need support. So a single Dad in the same financial situation would get the same support. And it is a minority of single mothers who got pregnant on purpose to get govt handouts. Just as many if not more have been abandoned by deadbeat partners. You and I both live in societies that step in and help, and I am completely supportive of that. It seems lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 04:46 AM
0

It kinda sounds like you self improved, then put yourself out there, and that worked? If you're not getting a gf as a normie, then the only thing you have control over is yourself - self improvement, or putting yourself in new social situations or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 11:02 PM
2

I really applaud your thoughtfulness and determination. My only advice (and this coming from someone who has social anxiety, but I'm in my 40s now), is to try as much as possible to engage with the world around you, rather than to avoid it. I avoided the world around me as much as possible until my early 30s, and ended up isolated, lonely and unhappy. Over the past 10 years I started taking baby steps like volunteering, having lunch with colleagues etc, which built up my confidence at work and s…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 03:41 AM
1

No. I would not have listened to anybody older than me. And people my age had no experience. I think only watching shows/movies helped, so I would have needed to watch them sooner, and have someone neutrally help me to see the life lessons in them. I feel like you might be karma farming, so I'm gonna leave it at that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 03:16 AM
3

How old are you? And what is your longest relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 02:55 AM
2

1) growing up, 2) watching movies and shows where people fuck up their lives for some short term pleasure. Eventually I realised that there's always a trade-off, ie short-term decisions have long-term consequences
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 02:52 AM
2

Of course. Many people never pursue a casual/hook up phase. They somehow know it's not for them. But some people believe everything that glitters is gold and don't want to listen to people who say otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 02:34 AM
2

Yes I look back on that stage of my life and regret it now. It results in baggage that makes a healthy LTR harder. But I can't see how else I would have learned the lesson of where happiness comes from. My advice would be to learn the lesson as quickly as possible. If you know it in your head, it won't take many confirming experiences before you believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 01:41 AM
3

Big picture - my LTR has contributed hugely to my happiness, but only because it has been mostly stable and happy. It has NOT been easy to build and maintain this though. Sometimes it requires compromising my short term happiness for the long term benefits. For those of you just looking to lose their v card, or hookups, the actual lived experience of that contributes little or negatively to happiness. It can artificially prop up your self esteem if you're lacking it, but it does not provide happ…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 01:25 AM
0

That's excellent. I applaud you. But my question was for OP. They have been vocal about one side in this post, and it's very easy to see if they have been vocal about the other side as well. If not, then they are exactly the same as the people they have complained about.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 03:24 AM
5

I don't believe it's an easy task. But for 80% of men, it's not an impossible task. It really depends how much you want it. If you aren't putting in the effort required for your specific starting point, then it's not that important to you. I want to be healthier. I know how to be healthier. But I don't want it enough to actually exercise and diet consistently. That doesn't mean being healthier is impossible. Complaining how hard it is to get healthy won't change a thing. No one else can make me …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 01:14 AM
2

You also have to know that you don't EVER want a relationship. Once you go down the path of paying, it's very difficult to come back from it for multiple reasons. I have seen this play out IRL
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 01:04 AM
4

Let me guess... you are the opposite? Ie silent when a man is accused, but vocal when it's determined to be false? My point is - it's extremely normal for people to be vocal about what they care about, and not be vocal about what they don't care about. You are following the same pattern with this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 01:00 AM
1

I agree that being a good person has almost nothing to do with initial attraction. But nobody's entire existence is made up purely of initial attraction and nothing else. Yes attractiveness is a major driver of initial impressions, especially on dating apps where personality is less visible. But there is much more to our lives than making initial impressions. And that is where being a good person matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 11:28 PM
1

I am quoting you here "morals are not involved in attraction and dating". So for whatever level of looks and attractiveness you have, you can then choose to be a good person or not. By morals here I mean not lying, deceiving and always putting your own wants above everyone else's. Treating women as humans who are just as valuable and worthy of respect as you are. Many RPers do not speak about women nicely at all. Sure, it may not change their attractiveness, but 1) it will change their long term…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 10:00 PM
2

This makes zero sense to me. Some people have no morals in dating, some do. What's making you join those that don't have morals? It sounds like that's just what you want to choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 08:59 PM
-1

None of the examples I saw in the link you posted were specifically and solely about looks
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 11:44 AM
-1

Where I have seen "natural selection" used is not specifically about looks, but about the whole package. It applies fully and equally to women as well. If anyone is not going to try and meet the standards of being a worthwhile partner, and withdraw from socialising rather than putting themselves out there, then they aren't gonna have kids. It's a universal fact, not a gender-specific insult.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 10:39 AM
1

Do you empathise with women's difficulties?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 10:33 AM
3

Nope. You are fixating on a subset of women who confirm your worldview, and ignoring the rest. Any argument that relies on "pretty much all women/men act like..." is a flawed argument. This is why only bitter redpill guys agree with bitter redpill guys. To be clear I am not including non-bitter redpill guys in the same group.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 10:31 AM
6

I really like this. But do you have a study or stats to back it up?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 11:47 PM
7

Men are also just as emotional and emotionally driven as women. I was shocked when I entered the workforce to see how many senior managers were led by their emotions, how they felt, whether they felt insulted etc. Ie all the sorts of things men assume only women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 04:40 AM
1

My reply is based on yours. OP was addressing women broadly, not just the ones you have had a bad experience with. But you invalidated their whole post ("Try again") based on your specific and very limited experience. How does that work? On that basis, my original reply stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 03:04 AM
1

This is a very low effort, all or nothing response to a nuanced post. "Because I had a couple of bad experiences with women, all women are trash. And I'm not going to listen to anyone who says any differently".
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 12:05 AM
-1

Maybe man whores are not who she means by "well adjusted". Maybe she means normal dudes that don't hate women
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 02:26 AM
0

I fully agree
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 02:11 AM
4

Honestly that is the most common response I see to women only finding casual men. Pick better. Not ever that it's mens fault. They are just being themselves. Unless the men lie about it, then they are trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 02:06 AM
24

This may be a valid observation of the dating phase for some women, but it doesn't apply to long-term co-habiting relationships. It's pretty obvious that this post is an emotional reaction to the post of men not meeting women's standards. But I think they are talking about different things. This post is about lazy women who try to sponge happiness from men. The other post is about women who have given up on dating men because not enough are LTR material. Different group of women entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:21 AM
-2

Yes. You extrapolated from your anus. You projected your experience - one single data point - to all women. Also,m it is obvious from how quickly you flew into a rage that you have a very large, unhappy axe to grind against women, which casts doubt over the impartiality of your data reporting.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:06 AM
1

The OP question was specifically framed around men. Not "do you think men suck but women are perfect"
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 11:57 PM
-1

Thank you for sharing this
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 11:53 PM
17

I really want to say that this is not most men. These are the men saying hateful shit to get attention. Unfortunately they get too much attention from both men and women. But how do you feel about women who say they want 6 figures, 6", 6'? They exist. But most likely you dismiss/ignore them as a shallow minority. That's what the men who say equivalent dumb shit are - a dumb, shallow minority. Please don't judge all men (or women) by what the loudest attention seekers say.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 11:45 PM
1

I found this comment on PPD from a woman within 30 seconds of searching: "There are a lot of shitty people on this planet, and I would put any person that considers vulnerability to be a deal breaker in that camp. You never know how a person will react to vulnerability until you open up to them, and I have a lot of sympathy for men that have opened up to the wrong person. It really sucks to open yourself up that way only to find out that a person you care about has the emotional depth of a teasp…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:02 AM
1

Languages can be learned if you try
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 03:33 AM
1

What basis do you have for this claim? Why not: "3. Offer empathy and see if they get some in return one day" You are truly black pilled if you see 0.00% goodness in the world. You won't receive empathy every time, and certainly not from every person, but I see empathy on reddit from time to time. So if it exists, then people can get it. The more people that give it, the more people will get it. It's really that simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 03:32 AM
1

Whatever is a struggle to them. If someone is struggling with loneliness, that is real for them. But empathy is not the end of it. Advice can follow. But someone is more likely to take advice from someone who is showing empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 03:27 AM
2

Everyone wants to be heard, but none of them want to listen
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 12:50 AM
4

Sure, there are just as many shit women as there are shit men. Not more, not less. We are as bad and as good as each other. I wish everyone would accept this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 09:58 PM
1

Thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 09:10 PM
1

If you have zero interest in empathy, then you have zero interest in anyone understanding your point of view
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 09:08 PM
2

Yep, these women don't fit anywhere into most red pill's theories
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 09:07 PM
1

OK, I understand. I agree there's not much point to saying "that sucks" to everyone. But if there are times we want to reply or disagree with something, or even encourage someone to try something new, then, acknowledging their situation at the same time would be helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 09:05 PM
1

Can you please explain why empathy is nonsense?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:58 PM
–

Honestly I think this sums up the incel position quite well "I am going to refuse to take the high road until every woman I interact with takes the high road before me". Firstly, many women and men already show empathy to their opposite gender. So you are just taking the low road with everyone else, and ignoring those who have chosen differently. Secondly, you will never, ever get 100% of men and women taking the high road. So what you are waiting for will never happen. But I hope some people wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:56 PM
4

Yes I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:51 PM
1

OK, no problem. I trust you never disagree with women on Reddit then, trying to convince them that you are right.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:50 PM
1

Some women have. In this very sub. I see women genuinely asking what could be done to help men's struggles. But I agree that others don't. But they are the ones that still feel angry about their won struggles. Just like men...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:49 PM
1

I disagree. I think the reason why people refuse to be empathetic towards the opposite gender is because they can plainly see no empathy back towards them. But if they did see some empathy, then they might be a bit more considerate as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:45 PM
2

Sure, I can't fully understand what it would be like to feel in danger for men, I can still acknowledge that to be true for some women, and appreciate that must not be fun
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:40 PM
2

I did not refer to making someone feel better at all. I am referring to empathy as considering another person's point of view. Some/many people are flat out refusing to ever do this for the opposite gender "because they never did it for me"
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:37 PM
2

OK, just please know that most men are not like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:35 PM
1

Very true
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:01 PM
0

It seemed to me like they were saying that women have already received so much empathy in western societies, that they don't need any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:00 PM
1

Sure, but it's good advice for parents of children, managers of people, as well as marriage counselling, that it's always best to sandwich criticism with compliments. It will be received better if your hearer knows that you see them as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 11:56 AM
3

If you've never given empathy, how can you expect anyone else to give it? Everyone can justify thinking exactly the same as you "no one has ever given me empathy, so I don't need to give it to anyone else". If every person on the planet thought that, then there would be zero empathy. It takes someone to think "I'd really love to receive empathy, so maybe I should do that nice thing for someone else". That adds empathy to the world. You can't receive empathy if no one is willing to give it. So yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 11:42 AM
3

Where? On reddit? Or in my friend group? Very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 11:36 AM
5

I don't think empathy is defined as knowing fully someone else's experience. Just considering something from someone else's point of view, as much as you are able. For example I can imagine what it might be like to be a woman who reads again and again how easy it is for women to get a boyfriend, and yet they can't get a boyfriend. That must feel shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 11:34 AM
3

Thanks for sharing that
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 11:12 AM
7

Other peoples' challenges and struggles.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 10:54 AM
3

Only in manosphere spaces, not real life
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 10:50 AM
0

That's because I see a little more empathy from the blue pill side of this sub and a little less from the redpill side. But ot enough from either - maybe it's 1/10 vs 3/10. I would be more than happy for you to prove me wrong and find a few empathetic redpill posts/comments/replies.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 10:47 AM
4

Haha, it might
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:12 AM
4

I suspect people have the capacity for empathy, they just don't want to acknowledge it in their posts and replies out of fear that it weakens their position. But if everyone tried to include some empathy with the other side in their posts and replies, along with making their own point, I think they would be listened to more. Ie this is not a competition, lots of people are struggling with different issues. As soon as you try to make it a competition, you lose people.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:12 AM
-3

I am saying it to everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:07 AM
-1

As long as they are clear on their own hypocrisy, I am happy enough with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:05 AM
2

That's cool. Just don't expect anyone other than redpillers to empathise with you then.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 07:48 AM
8

That's cool. Just don't expect them to empathise with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 07:48 AM
2

So are you saying that only men deserve empathy?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 07:47 AM
9

Most of reddit is people saying "my problems are worse than yours", which sounds more like they want sympathy rather than empathy. Personally I think sympathy doesn't help people, it tends to keep them stuck in the same place. If anyone is unhappy with their lives, they are free to do something about it. Rather than waiting for other people to probably never do something for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 09:03 PM
–

I don't understand what you are proposing... that women would start giving out free sex so that men will vote for Democrats? I can't see that happening on either side.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 08:52 PM
2

I just want to pick up on the God part of your post. God has different priorities to most people. Jesus said that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God. But most people want to be wealthier. But if God loves us, and wants us to get to heaven, why would he want to make us all rich? Then most people wouldn't get to heaven, because riches are a huge distraction. You can apply that to anything humans care about vs God. God does …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:25 AM
1

Yes, everyone would choose to be hot, but I'd prefer to be average looking and nice than a hot asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 07:38 AM
2

You want to go through all this stress and drama to get a different kind of emptiness? Be careful of aspiring to be like anyone who seeks attention. They are trying to make people jealous to crowd source their self-esteem (credit cancelled person).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 03:54 AM
-1

I think it's more like all of these things contribute. Maybe looks contribute the most to early attraction, but hot assholes are not going to be able to keep a relationship with hot women who have good self esteem. They can have casual sex, but honestly that is only fun for a little while and becomes empty over time. They can keep hot women with low self esteem, but I don't think unbalanced relationships are rewarding either. My point - don't be jealous of hot assholes. They aren't happy in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 02:38 AM
2

Sure, a violent angry man is a common trope. But I don't hear people saying "you know what would fix the male violence problem? If they were all married". The trope is the angry, violent man can't hold down a relationship, because they will eventually abuse their partners and blow it. The commonly accepted view is that something is broken inside of the angry man, and they don't want to be helped. I haven't heard anyone pushing the view that having a woman would fix them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 01:14 PM
4

You have found one example. That doesn't make it any more a mainstream view than what the other commenter said. Also comedy is just comedy, I can find plenty of male comedians saying dumb sexist shit for laughs
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 02:43 AM
–

I'm not sure what you want other people to do about that. If someone is very sensitive to social failures, what can other people do about that? It is their choice to either get therapy and try to work their way past it, or to give up and not try. But if they give up, that's their choice, not anyone else's. Spending most of your life online is avoiding the real world. It's easy and comfortable, but the longer anyone does it, they are just digging their own hole deeper and deeper.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 12:56 AM
1

But you have done exactly the same thing in your OP. Believing that men are miserable and violent without women is a fringe view, I have never seen it expressed here. So you have cherry picked an extreme view yo make your argument. Then you condescendingly insult a woman for responding to the argument you created? I think you just don't like women in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 12:47 AM
16

I don't see women framing themselves as the solution to men's problems, I don't know where you see this. I do see them observing that men seem quite desperate for women. But not that women can somehow fix men or make them better. Yes there are studies that show men are happier in relationships. But that is something for men who want a relationship to solve. Women tell men all the time what they are looking for in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 12:41 AM
9

I don't blame men, and I certainly don't blame women. It's just modern society - being online is way easier than meeting real people in person. But I believe that if you have any problem, you should focus on what YOU can do to fix it. You can't change other people, so as long as you tell yourself that your problems are 100% not your fault, then your problem will ALWAYS be there.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 11:47 PM
0

Let me get this right... you think people who are unhappy that the world isn't fair should... make the world more unfair?! Can you see how in some cosmic sense they would then be part of their own problems?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 10:59 PM
–

Thank you for making your bias plain to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 12:16 AM
5

So you're just going to ignore the gender imbalance aspect and pretend it doesn't exist? Eg in rape, DV, pay, managerial positions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 10:56 PM
4

I think ths shows everyone how diverse people are. Even RP followers don't all have the same preferences. Neither do women. Can we please all agree that there are no monoliths? Ie no one can ever say "pretty much all men/women want blah blah blah".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 02:34 AM
–

I agree with all of that!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 10:35 AM
3

I guess it depends on your definition of hypergamous. I agree everyone wants the best partner they can get. But when people use "hypergamous", they seem to mean 1) people who will ONLY accept a partner who is well above their own status/level/attractiveness, and 2) will always monkey chain on to a better partner if they can. I don't believe the majority of men or women are like that. But honestly I only have a problem with people who believe that women as a whole are somehow of lower ethical sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 10:44 AM
4

Do you honestly believe that ALL men fall into one of these two extremes, and that ALL men would choose option 1 if they could? Neither of these extremes describes me. And I believe that most men fall somewhere along the spectrum in between.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 04:26 AM
3

So then they can't be as simplistically reductive as RP paints them to be, just like men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 04:18 AM
6

Men also prefer hot women in relationships if the can get them. If not, they have to settle.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 03:19 AM
5

That makes no sense. If the only people who can know whether they want a harem are people who could actually land a harem, then that cannot describe the majority of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 02:39 AM
0

This post is more about whether men and women are monolithic.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 02:35 AM
4

You're basically describing all men and women then. Anyone not looking for a relationship want hot, attractive people, and LTR-people want someone who fits their entire life, and everyone on the planet sits somewhere between these extremes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 02:32 AM
2

So are women capable of thinking and acting beyond their lizard brain?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 02:18 AM
1

That sounds more like a teen fantasy where women are all NPCs. But those of us who have grown up see women as people with their own autonomy and complex desires. And I have realised that I can't be happy in a relationship unless my partner is also happy, so their desires and preferences are just as important as my own. So I don't want to build an entire life around my own fantasies, it's just not a realistic desire in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 02:15 AM
4

I don't think that describes me. I am LTR-oriented, but not family-oriented. So I don't look for the family type. I look for attraction, yes, but also personality, whether we have fun together and can have deep conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 01:55 AM
5

That described me when I was young and immature, and acted only with my dick. Once I grew up and saw that acting with my dick didn't make me happy, I expanded my thinking. This no longer describes me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 01:45 AM
1

How about the type of women we pursue?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 12:45 AM
1

Yes I fully agree. That is the red part of my purple tag. I do think that, like height, there are some "average" differences between men and women, but that there is a broad distribution around those averages. RP doesn't seem to acknowledge that, for women at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 12:40 AM
11

Thanks for your post. It reminds me of what this sub used to be like - a more nuanced exchange of perspectives. Now it's just RP ideologues telling everyone that "only RP men, because of their superior analytical powers, can see the true nature of women". But genders are wired differently, and more importantly each individual is different. So more listening is what we need.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 11:55 PM
–

My dude, just give up. You seem to believe that your one little piece of evidence means that your conclusion is a fact, but that's not how it works. Similarly, millions of people agreeing with you also doesn't make it fact (eg the world is not flat). You need much stronger arguments to claim something as "fact".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 10:07 PM
–

What about differences in hormones and brain anatomy? Are you saying that these have no impact at all, and that all differences between men and women are down to nurture? I'm talking about population average differences (like OP's examples), not individual differences. I don't think that conclusion is supported by science. I agree that unpicking nature vs nurture is very difficult, but it is clearly not 100% nurture and 0% nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 09:57 PM
2

Thank you so much for repeating OP's point for them. It's far more powerful when it comes directly from a red pill man.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 09:36 PM
2

That's not what he said. He said step 1 of a relationship is wanting to fuck them. That might be step 1, but sometimes it's step 5.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 11:28 AM
0

It's the % we all disagree on. Incels and red pillers seem to think ugly = 80-99% of men, which is patently untrue to anyone who goes outside. While women and the rest of us know it's probably more like 10-30% of both men and women that are universally, undateably ugly as they currently stand (ie without putting in any effort to improve their looks with grooming and dress).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 12:34 AM
5

No, that's your prerequisite, not everyone's
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 12:29 AM
10

She didn't say those men should be actively culled or exiled. You are being dramatic. She just said that they won't have kids. If "most" men are like this, then humanity is in trouble. Lucky for us you're take is off the mark.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 10:02 PM
1

We're talking about Gen Z here. Today's sugar daddies are mostly old dudes. Maybe when Gen Z get to older ages and if their women make up the majority of wealthy individuals, maybe then we'll see more sugar mommies.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 08:53 AM
2

The women back then were doing the shit men didn't want to do. I'm sure if men today were willing to be pretty home makers, some rich women would snap them up.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:54 AM
2

Maybe I'm just less sensitive. But I definitely see more toxic misogyny than misandry on this sub. It's not even close.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 09:57 PM
7

C'mon, be honest. I'm a purple pill male and I also now have a lower opinion of red and black pill men as a result of this sub. They are just so unwilling to listen to actual women talking about themselves. But to be fair I have a lower opinion of the equivalent women in "ask women" echo chambers who believe all men are closet rapists. But I find the women in ppd to be far more reasonable than either of the two groups above.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 02:43 AM
10

Yep, the quality of your arguments has been amazing, for example: A woman has a lot more in common with another avg woman than a man does. They all love travel, gossip, and garbage TV like love island. None of you spent your Saturday doing something odd like trying to see if you can use gpt5 to break the options market. Brilliant interpretation of the science.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 02:36 AM
2

Say your problems are 50% other peoples' fault and 50% your own. If you only ever focus on the blame of other people, your problems will never improve, since you can't control what other people do. But if you focus on your own 50%, then your life can actually improve.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 12:01 AM
1

Aren't you making the point that luck and many other nuanced factors along come into play? Ie success is never about one single factor (brains or looks).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 11:58 PM
–

You only know the reasons for each individual woman who has given them to you. I'm sure other women have never given you a reason, and even then you can't project that on to every woman on the planet.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:24 AM
–

Maybe they don't matter as much to some women. How can you possibly know that all these women are lying? I'm really unclear on why you think this is all a giant gotcha. Women have all sorts of preferences. They are not all the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:13 AM
–

How can we tell these comments weren't true for the specific man they were talking to? The men could have been speaking like assholes. When you crop out the full exchange, we have no idea what prompted these replies.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 10:35 PM
1

Increased productivity + zero growth = fewer jobs and increased wealth inequality. A declining economy in line with declining population will result in a higher burden on younger, working people to support older, non-working people. You may be fine to live in a world like either of these two scenarios, but the error you are making is assuming that most other people would too. They don't, which is why we have the world we have.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:15 AM
5

This take is so far removed from reality? Do any of your close friends or family work in government? Government is just a collection of flawed humans trying to get by. There is no conspiracy to harm the general public. There just aren't enough evil people in the world to do that. Most people are just lazy and selfish, not evil.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:09 AM
2

There are so many holes in this. Firstly, many countries have declining populations. That is a disaster - people will lose their jobs over that. "Technology" will not perfectly offset the impact of declining population, and even if it did, we wouldn't need as many workers, so still people would lose jobs. Then maybe we just aim for zero population growth. Very stable. But not everyone would be content with it being harder to get rich. And if one person is taking a bigger slice of a pie that isn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 10:44 PM
13

I'm generally more blue than red, but I'm struggling to see the problem? You sound bitter that mid men are allowed to land the women of their dreams?! If women can choose or not choose whoever they want, why can't men? Who is losing out here?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 10:55 PM
0

OK, yes. I consider myself mostly blue and a bit red. So I agree that both men and women are initially attracted by looks. But I believe that when it goes beyond that to the "get to know you" phase, women on average are slightly less shallow than men. At that point virtue is more likely to matter to women in the "do I want to date or sleep with you" question than men. So I do agree with a fair it of what you say, maybe it's more the way you frame it that can be hard to swallow. You seem to think…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 09:43 AM
1

I disagree that men know better than women on a macro level on what women want. Sure, on a case-by-case basis, some women may be shown to have lied about what they personally want. That doesn't make all women liars about this. Some women may want chads. That doesn't mean all women want chads. To me, anyone who disbelieves all women who claim they don't just want chads is dehumanising them by assuming they are wrong without even knowing them personally. That sounds exactly like dogmatic, stubborn…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 08:15 AM
1

OK, we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 08:04 AM
6

Let's say we have any other group of people. They try to tell us their experience of society, what they want etc. But we tell them that based on our expertise in what it must be like to be them, we are going to ignore what you say, and proceed on the basis of our own assumptions instead. Would that be humanising that group? Or de-powering them? It kind of sounds like we are ignoring them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 06:56 AM
6

Redpill says "women are liars, don't believe what they say about themselves, us men know better (and please ignore how much we hate them)". And now you're trying to have me believe that you are humanising them?!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 03:49 AM
2

I'm sorry that my Australian English has triggered you. I think if you look past that (reddit is international after all), and stop judging me by your own localised English standards, you should be able to understand the intent of what I am saying. If the most likely interpretation to you is that I am referring to women as rides, then I have no hope of communicating with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 04:23 AM
2

I see what you mean, but I don't believe this applies to all women (or even men). For some people at least, the "total package" -> romantic feelings -> sexual interest. Not everyone follows this, and obviously not you, but certainly some people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 04:19 AM
4

Yep I agree with the redpiller here. Even if this is true for you, you are not doing women any favours. You are describing AF/BB exactly. I suspect that what men want is for women to give more guys a chance (edited, eg be open to chatting with them), and see if romantic feelings develop, despite them maybe not meeting a woman's physical standards. Not start a life together without any prospect for romantic feelings. That would be hell for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 02:54 AM
1

No problem then. It leaves more women for those of us who accept that there are always things we can improve about ourselves if we really want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:50 AM
1

Sorry, if you are claiming that men are almost exclusively judged on things they cannot control, that is just ridiculous. Both men and women are judged on a mix of things they can and cannot control. Not only that, but each person doing the judging has different criteria. What that means is that EVERYONE can do something to make themselves more appealing. For men, looks are very influencable. Everyone can add 3-4 points to their looks if they want. Same with confidence. Same with their circumsta…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:47 AM
4

I love it how OP wanted to encourage people to focus on what they CAN control (themselves) for a minute, but nope, all the answers make it sound like there will never be anything men can do to help themselves. That's fine, please continue to leave more women for the rest of us that have some personal accountability.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 02:46 AM
3

The doom and gloom attitude in your reply showed us all your inner self-belief. The OP was trying to push us all towards "OK there are lots of things we can't control, but what could YOU do as a next step you can actually control?" Your answer: absolutely nothing, it is 100% out of my control. It's all women's fault. You can tell us that you are a positive person, but your reply screams otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 02:43 AM
2

Isn't this a mature compromise? Looks aren't everything in a marriage, so other factors should come into consideration.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 10:07 PM
1

I can't comment on this since I've never seen it myself, but women like that probably exist as well. No one should listen to the opinion of someone who is not self-aware. And this includes many, many redpillers. Anyone who points out other peoples' flaws, while refusing to accept their own, loses my respect immediately. Men and women both.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 09:58 PM
5

It could also be because... not all women are the same. Just like men. Which was one of the points I thought OP was making. Some women do want chads to pay their bills. Some women want nice guys. I don't know why some men can't accept this, and tell women they must be lying about their preferences just because they have seen one type of woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 11:00 AM
2

So I gather that you do this? You set aside who you are attracted to, and look around for women who are unseen and overlooked, perhaps even despised, and then you actively try to see their intrinsic value and connect with them on that? If so, well done. You are one of the very few who has levelled up their humanity. But if you are just expecting women to do that for you, start with yourself. I have a friend who falls into this category "why can't women see under my obesity and rage that I have a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:42 PM
6

I agree with what you have written in your OP EXCEPT you have ignored the part of the redpill that claims to understand womens' perspective better than women. That makes up a big part of almost all red piller beliefs, and yet contradicts your post. What are your personal thoughts on this? Does the red pill understand women's motives better than women themselves do? As an example all the Chad, hypergamy stuff. That goes beyond self help and maximising yourself to projecting that most women will f…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:23 PM
10

No I don't agree, but I'm not seeing the point you are trying to make. People on the extreme ends of both sides are gonna say shit like this. Many men in this sub say stuff like this all the time "who cares if women get raped, no one will have sex with meeeee". Are you trying to appeal to feminists to come back to a more balanced position? Do you make the same appeal to men saying the same sort of shit?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:51 AM
2

I don't see any attempt at empathy in this post, just a desire to "gotcha" women for some reason. Ie you are contributing to toxic gender wars, not trying to help improve them. A woman can dress for themselves and other women AND still be annoyed when men rudely stare at them like a sex object.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 02:53 AM
11

Saying no doesn't equal conditional. A parent will say no to their child because they love them, not because there are conditions to their love. I still agree that healthy adult relationships are balanced, so that is a healthy condition, but I wanted to point out that saying no isn't the same as conditional love. The difference is why you say no - for their benefit or for yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 10:47 PM
1

Sure, if someone is in an unhappy place and prefers to stay there, that's up to them. I am more talking about people in a neutral-ish place and wanting better social results. Or someone trying to climb out of a negative place.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 05:08 AM
3

How you feel about yourself will impact how you project yourself to the world, which will impact how much people like you. I experienced this in my life massively. I used to worry about stuffing up in front of other people, which makes you cautious, which makes you boring. Nobody likes a boring person. So I started telling myself to smile and feel comfortable. It changes my mindset and it changes people's perception of me. And had drastically tangible results.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 04:24 AM
2

Escorts might be the best option for undesirable men who don't want to work on making themselves desirable. Escorts are no substitution for an actual relationship, and will take you further away from one. Most women won't want to date a guy who has regularly used escorts.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 02:47 AM
1

But we don't control external factors, they are what they are. The Kardashians changed what female body shapes everyone wanted, and K-Pop has made Asians cool. But these are organic things. Everyone is trying to be the next big thing, but most aren't. And it's the same with attraction. Yes it will evolve due to external factors, but a bunch of men asking women to lower their standards won't be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 11:07 PM
1

I don't think "cause" is the right word here. In all cases you mentioned, two parties are involved. Also men are not a Monolith, so the men who participated with those women may not be the men who dislike those women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 07:58 AM
8

I dunno... that's like saying that for any of us to achieve "complete self love" we need to embrace and not limit any potentially offensive side of ourselves. I know it's not the same, but your argument would work equally for serial killers, kleptomaniacs and pedophiles. But I do agree there is some truth to what you are saying. Strong sexuality is a real part of many, many men. For women to just blanket label it disgusting is denying a clear aspect of biological masculinity. But knowing that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 08:12 AM
0

Sorry, that is my bad, I shorten sentences out of laziness. The red piller I linked described 90-95% of women as: My experience with the remaining 90-95% of women is that they cannot be alone. They Monkey branch between relationships (i.e. they only let go of one man when the next one is in hand. They tell men who are moving they will stay with them and break up and have a new man in their bed within a week. Can't go more than 2-3 weeks without dating. Their "not looking for a relationship stage…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 10:16 AM
0

Sorry I'm learning how to link other threads... but this one is typical. Painting "most" women to be like none I have ever met (although I'm sure there are a few out there): https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/95caF8cl1x
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 05:57 AM
1

But what do I do with my personal conclusion based on my personal experience - although I agree with most red pill at the broad strokes level, whenever I see red killers take a side regarding a specific situation, I almost always disagree with them. It suggests that there is something more to red pill than the broad outline that you describe, since something in the next layer down I seem to fundamentally disagree with. I can even give you an outline of what my problem generally is - when red pil…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 11:38 PM
2

Maybe I'm just having fun here, but wouldn't roles just flip? Men will be valued for their looks ("trophy husbands") or ability to hold shit down around the home.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 10:12 AM
6

No I'm proud that we treat our women better than most other cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 10:58 PM
4

Yep. But it's amazing how many people 1) latch on to this stuff because it blames anyone else but themselves for their problems, but then 2) it enrages everyone else watching on (eg women lurking on mens' subs and vice versa). But yes, I agree with OP that some women are encouraged on social media to despise men. But it happens both ways, and hopefully it's a tiny minority on both sides (despite how visible it can be).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:12 AM
8

I suspect OP is talking about SOME voices in modern social media
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:00 AM
3

I agree there is some biased, hateful stuff said here (and more by men than women), but overall I really appreciate that it's not an echo chamber (like the men's and women's subs can be sometimes). So if you say biased, hateful stuff, then you will be called out for it here. Come to think of it, I love this sub!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 10:50 PM
7

Because it's all probability. Doing none of these things gives you a small chance, but still a chance. Doing some increases your chances. Doing all increases your chances the most. Which is also still not a guarantee. But you would have done everything in your power to maximise your chances.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 09:37 PM
1

Yep when women do the same thing it pisses me off. But I don't think many feminists claim that men have zero problems (like OP), they are just focused on fixing women's problems. Most feminists would claim that women's problems are worse, but I don't think many would claim that men don't have any difficulties at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 10:36 PM
1

Yep when women do the same thing it pisses me off. But I don't think many feminists claim that men have zero problems (like OP), they are just focused on fixing women's problems. Most feminists would claim that women's problems are worse, but I don't think many would claim that men don't have any difficulties at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 10:35 PM
3

I'm referring to the OP, not you. I think his post meets the criteria of misogyny for the reasons I outlined
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 10:36 AM
2

It's misogyny to only see the hardships of men and ignore the hardships of women. They may not be perfectly equal, but anyone who makes out like women have it super easy and only men have it impossibly hard is biased against women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:45 PM
4

OK fine, you are civil to people. But you still literally said that you won't be empathetic to people who don't show you empathy first. Again, if everyone followed that approach, then no one would show any empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 10:36 PM
6

You basically said that you won't be nice to anyone who isn't nice to you first. If everyone followed that approach, no one would be nice to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 10:19 PM
3

Hahaha anyone who uses the word simp is a child (I always think of those dudes in the campervan in borat!) that hangs out with bros too much and doesn't respect women. So I don't respect them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 09:52 PM
15

I do check out women's subs as well. Just like any sub, I see a range of views. Same as mens' subs. When I first saw them, the shit takes on men really pissed me off. I used to challenge them, but of course no one on reddit changes their mind. What I eventually realised is: 1) We react more to comments that attack us as individuals, than to comments attacking other people. So men react badly to women hating on men, and women react badly to men hating on women. Hateful comments exist both ways, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 10:30 AM
34

You had me nodding at the title and first few lines. And then the misogyny showed up: ... while women are allowed to sit back and whine and complain about their problems while being told that they deserve everything they want on the basis of them being women. As soon as you say obviously biased stuff like this, you lose all respect from people trying to debate, listen, uncover truth, and build understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 03:38 AM
3

Uhm I thought the whole reason men aren't finding relationships was because women are choosing no relationship rather than men that don't meet their standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 01:00 PM
2

None of this would make women more attracted to men. It's just tactics for winning a gender war that you imagine is being waged.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 05:15 AM
3

How would these things promote women being attracted to men that they currently find unappealing?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 10:17 PM
6

OK then, please propose some things that would promote women becoming attracted to men they are currently not attracted to, other than the man working on their attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 10:14 PM
–

Yes self improvement can take years. I have a very good friend in this situation. He's mid 30s now. I met him 7 years ago. He has never had a relationship. He has trauma and self confidence issues. In those years he has become overweight. And he's very angry at the world for him not having a relationship. If he started that self improvement journey at any point in that time, he could have a relationship now. Instead he has just whinged and blamed and got fat in that time.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:17 PM
2

I never disagreed with you on that. But your original reply went further to say that an increasing number of women "don't want men at all". That is the point I disagree with. That would still be a tiny, insignificant %. But your conclusion that a bunch of single women aren't on the apps or even actively pursuing a relationship I fully agree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 12:46 AM
4

I partially agree with you, but not fully. The women I know don't fall into the category of "don't want men at all", just not enough to initiate. I know a single guy in the same category. The additional point I am making is that there are single people out there who are open to relationships, but someone needs to find them and pursue them. Ie if you're not having success on the apps, then go looking elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 12:36 AM
0

You sound like a flat earther... "no matter how many facts you tell me, I prefer to stick with what I believe"
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 12:12 AM
5

Women may desire relationships less (I'm not sure though), but they still desire them. I think the pursuer/pursued dynamic comes into it though. I know multiple women who have been single for life purely because no one pursued them. They are not unattractive, I would say they are somewhat attractive, but they aren't on the apps and don't put themselves out there. They just live their lives. They wish they did have a relationship, but not enough to initiate anything themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:53 PM
13

Yep, every time a man says "women's standards are too high, I can't wait until sex robots are readily available", they are basically reinforcing what you said to all women who read it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 10:18 PM
–

This right here is the problem. Can you hear how you sound? You come across as basically wanting holes to cum into. That's it. Women want to feel special, like they are seen and loved and desired for who they are as a person, not just as a convenient cum bucket. Your energy and how you value women will be transparent and offputting to every woman you pursue.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 10:03 PM
8

This post is such a classic echo chamber post. He is so convinced that some random dude knows exactly how all women think, that he asks actual, real women to elaborate and just gets puzzled looks instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 09:55 AM
2

Most of my friends met their partners after high school through uni, work, social circles, community involvement (sport, religion etc). Some met online, but on more serious relationship sites than tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 05:54 AM
1

So the logical conclusion seems to be... don't try to get a relationship via hookup apps. Plenty, I would say the majority of men by their 30s have been in a ltr. All my friends except 1 have been. None of us are whatever you think the 1%/20% "type" is. So we all met them somewhere, and it wasn't hookup apps. Mostly through friend circles and communities we are part of.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 09:26 PM
3

Because most people who have actual friends and go outside see this rule broken all the time. None of my friends are in the top 20% and yet almost all of them have been in a ltr.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 09:20 PM
3

I don't know if we can argue with statistical data, but I guess it depends on the exact statistics. Eg if 35% of women value resources, 25% looks, 20% personality, 15% intelligence, then resources was the most common answer even if it is not the vast majority of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 06:47 AM
1

I can agree with this because it didn't seem like you were saying that ALL men and women are like this, but enough for it to be a meaningful insight. I believe that most people don't want to date down, but are more than happy to date up. But how everyone values "up" and "down" can vary (looks, intelligence, money, personality etc). But if you say studies show that most often men value looks and women value resources, I can't argue with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 06:40 AM
14

I think the issue with the 80/20 rule is that it MAY be true on tinder or at bars/clubs, but it's very obviously not true beyond that. Everyone knows and sees multiple people irl that break the rule. They just got together somewhere else. But if you're an average dude trying to hookup on tinder or in bars, good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 02:24 AM
5

Yep I love your third point. Yes men are sexual. But women are not f'ing objects, treat them like an equal. I hate men that intentionally creep women out, intimidating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 11:15 AM
5

Sorry what are we debating? I agree with a lot of what you wrote, but disagree with some. I agree that people who hate male sexuality hate men. But male sexuality is not an excuse for treating anyone disrespectfully, ever. So that's on men to navigate. But I hate that men and women who sleep with a lot of people are treated differently. And I don't see any difference between women cheating with another woman vs a man, although I do admit that I would be more jealous of my wife flirting with anot…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 10:30 AM
8

Not my real world. Parts of reddit and countries run solely by men, yes. But in my part of the real world most people get along just fine and don't need to score points off each other to feel happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 08:31 AM
12

The value of your post is negative. You are advocating "stoop to their level", "fight fire with fire", "a race to the bottom". This approach is why the middle east is a shitshow - no one wants to improve and reconcile, just get back at the other side, push them down to lift me up. That's not the world I want to live in.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 06:35 AM
14

Do you genuinely believe that posts like this will make the world a better place for us all to live? You come across as a Russian bot sowing social discord in the west. Or do you see yourself as a guerilla of the gender wars, desperately fighting against the tyranny of the evil female empire? Your mindset is so far removed from my reality, I just cannot wrap my head around why someone would spend so much time creating your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 04:50 AM
4

Yep. It is a whole different skillset to maintain a relationship vs get into a relationship. And I didn't hear OP acknowledge any of the skills required to maintain a relationship... compromise, communication, actual love (valuing your partner not just yourself).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 11:38 PM
–

C'mon they are so obviously two different things. No one is asking racists to start an intimate relationship with someone they don't like, just stop treating them like shit. Everyone agrees women should reject men with civility. Ie basic human decency is expected in both cases, not pity sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 01:43 AM
–

I love your recent change in mindset. While I believe plenty of people have bad circumstances through no fault of their own, pitying themselves as a "victim of circumstances" makes them sound powerless and I think promotes feeling helpless and giving up. Our circumstances are what they are. But it is completely up to us whether we accept them, or try to improve them, or make them worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 01:24 AM
–

I think that's the point they are making... in your mind you have already written the next 40 years of your life. You will never attract someone if you don't love yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 01:18 AM
6

There is nothing wrong with you. I believe it is like height. On average, women are shorter than men. But some women are taller than some men. Both things are true. Your drive will be valued by a similar-minded partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 01:11 AM
1

Yes sure, that is the explanation. But no one says that the university should lower their standards if they are happy with the students they are getting. It is up to students to get an A or choose a different course.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 01:50 AM
2

You seem to believe women share part of the blame for rejection because they have standards. I don't get that at all. If someone was rejected by all women, then the issue is them, not the women. I am sure you have standards. If you reject some women, are you part of the problem? If one of the women who you rejected really wanted you, should you change your standards, or should she try to improve something to try to meet them?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 10:12 PM
4

Yeah I can see a bit of how that might work. Someone else said that a robot can't teach someone to be a good lover. But if you had to work hard to achieve a level 10 orgasm for your robot that would do something. But I still don't believe it can possibly replace knowing that you are loved by a human with choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 09:25 AM
3

Are you suggesting that people might pay for a robot with standards that might reject them? I don't think so. There is value in being chosen by a creature that could have rejected you. OP's rationale is that a sex robot would not reject you. By definition then it can't provide the positive validation that comes from being valued for who you are. If you are saying that humans don't really choose, that is an esoteric argument. For all intents and purposes, they believe they choose, and their partn…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:22 AM
3

I agree that there will be less danger with robots, but human-realistic robots won't be cheaper for a long long time
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:15 AM
3

We already have this available, it's called prostitution. If that is unable to solve your loneliness issues then neither will a robot.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:22 AM
3

So why would sex robots reset the market if prostitution hasn't?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:18 AM
9

I think your reply, although maybe true, is irrelevant to the point being made. However we make decisions, there is value in being chosen by another human. It is validating. A robot cannot fully replace that. It can pretend, but the owner will know. I don't see the difference between robots and prostitutes personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:16 AM
2

I think there is some truth to your take, but it over-generalizes - not all men want to sleep around. You do, great. But many don't. But yes women are attracted to confident men, and are repelled by desperate men. And so they need to navigate wanting two somewhat contradictory things (as you point out) 1) a sexy confident man, who will be attractive to other women and so may want to pursue that, vs 2) an emotionally mature, self aware guy who is able to communicate and compromise, pull their wei…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:35 AM
-2

It's called spurious correlation. If a significant number of women wany men to support them financially, and also a significant number of women want us to do more to achieve pay equality, that does not mean it is the same women who want these two different things. You would need to study both things together to make that conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 04:02 AM
10

This guy gets it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:56 AM
6

Firstly, the desire to pair off and produce offspring is biologically wired into our species. Sure it is stronger/weaker with some individuals, but collectively it is there. Yes getting married and especially having kids has some risk for EVERYONE involved. You cannot control another person or predict the future. Same with making an investment. But as many people have said, if you look for a partner with similar values to you, and BOTH of you are committed for the long run (including compromise,…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:38 AM
–

Yawn... I couldn't read past the first paragraph, there was just too much unresolved hate.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 09:48 PM
1

C'mon, this guy is trying to ask a genuine question and you're calling him a sex criminal?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 08:58 AM
6

Yep, men don't do enough to silence their toxic elements either. Because we defend against what is attacking US not others. So women are not as offended by toxic women attacking men, and men aren't as offended by toxic men attacking women. I see it ALL the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 10:57 PM
–

100%. I saw the pizza post by the red pill guy saying that red pill is only trying to understand what most women want. Which sounds great. But then they talk a bit more and you see that they are men who blame women for their troubles.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 10:53 PM
1

Yes my friend has mental health issues and trauma, mainly he comes across as very needy and creepy, because he's so desperate. So he had never got past 1 or 2 dates and he's in his 30s. A relationship is really important to him, so it gets to him a lot. But he hasn't ever consistently committed himself to therapy - he's hoping someone will come along who will take him for who he is. He's overweight as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:42 PM
2

I've seen many people of both sexes ogle. But that's not the same as dumping their partner for someone better.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 09:25 PM
13

They should be fired as well
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 04:16 AM
0

I agree 100% with your OP. But many, many TP men we see commenting seem way off base with what most women want. There is some truth to it (which is why I am purple), but they take it way beyond reality into this weird, distorted cultish beliefs. So I think most people accept your OP. But that doesn't mean they accept RP's view of what makes a popular pizza.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 02:59 AM
2

No I agree with her, not you. The average person will not have trouble finding an average woman, in the absence of a mitigating factor. All the people I know who are chronically single have a mitigating factor, which also includes not actively pursuing a partner. Many (not all) mitigating factors can be worked on.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 02:38 AM
18

Don't worry, there are enough good and decent people who care about society being a place they want to live in, not just what it can give them. Can you imagine a nurse or doctor saying "because no one will date me, I'm only going to look after my own gender". People like that can move to their own society somewhere, good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 02:27 AM
4

I've not seen a single female "trade up" in my social circles. But I've seen a few older men trade up for younger women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 09:36 PM
2

I think at first attraction and "personality mesh" are most important, which I guess includes vibes, humour and interests, but also things like you can't have 2 very quiet or 2 very dominant personalities, they need to fit well together. But for long term compatibility, values really come into play. If one wants a simple life, but the other is ambitious, kids, where to live, chores etc etc will either break the relationship or a compromise can be reached.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 10:10 PM
2

What more do I want? We, ie the many people disagreeing with you, want behaviours to change. We want less domestic violence, rape, misogyny. We want more women leaders. All of those things are still unequal, despite laws. So yes, education campaigns are needed as well, which are NOT run by legislation but by government executive. You as a male seem content with equal rights, but against giving women equal outcomes. I wonder why? It seems like you want to protect your privilege rather than share …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 10:20 PM
3

Yes exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 09:07 PM
3

You are completely and utterly missing the point. Everything about your post and position assumes that the law is all that matters. But obviously that is not true. Governments allocate plenty of resources to education, changing views etc. I do not understand how you are completely ignoring that. They don't do it on every law, just the ones that aren't working well enough, eg domestic violence, gang violence, speeding, drink driving, smoking, drugs etc etc etc. In all these cases society and the …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 09:06 PM
1

I'm not clear on the point you are trying to make - should women be more open to sex to bond? Or should society have less casual sex? I agree there is some truth to what you are saying. But in my experience, women want to feel comfortable in a relationship BEFORE they bond via sex, while men want to bond via sex first. I don't see a problem with that, it means that relationships need more than just one type of bonding to be fulfilling for both partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:31 PM
1

If someone genuinely wants to change someone else's mind, they need to empathise and gently guide rather than insult them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:16 PM
1

If someone genuinely wants to change someone else's mind, they need to empathise and gently guide rather than insult them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:16 PM
1

If someone genuinely wants to change someone else's mind, they need to empathise and gently guide rather than insult them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:15 PM
3

If someone genuinely wants to change someone else's mind, they need to empathise and gently guide rather than insult them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:15 PM
9

This is a pretty biased take. Men for decades have had songs expressing their sexual desires and no one batted an eyelid. Take R Kelly for example. No one batted an eyelid until he, you know, imprisoned women. I do agree that SOME women find men's higher libido disgusting and repugnant, but I think it's a small minority. Whenever I see them online I try to point out that we have different hormones. But it never excuses making a woman feel uncomfortable let alone rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:12 PM
2

OK, but they are doing the same thing as you - trying to tell men to modify their behaviour for the woman's benefit. They are making a valid point as much as you are. Yes, some women (and men) have unrealistic standards. In exactly the same way, some men delusionally expect to have relationships while being emotionally immature, unable to communicate, not picking up an equal share of the chores etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:01 PM
8

Sure, there are women out there with unrealistically high standards. There are men as well. They'll stay single. It's their prerogative. If anyone is going to guide them out of it, it will be their close friends who know their standards and dating history and what is realistic for them. A post telling women that they are delusional and should lower their standards ain't gonna do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:50 PM
65

Just like there is no mass conspiracy among men, there is no mass conspiracy among women. It is a free market with every individual doing what works for them. If women really want a relationship badly enough, but aren't getting one, they will lower their standards. If they aren't lowering their standards, it means any relationship is not as important as what they are holding out for. No one can (or should) control other people, only themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:17 AM
-3

The worst kind of mansplaining - telling women how they feel
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 09:09 PM
2

If you are happy with your current life, then keep doing what you're doing. If you want your life to change, then you're gonna have to do something different.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 10:16 AM
3

OK I apologise, you are right, you didn't say that. I re-read your reply again. I think the first time I read your reply up to where you defended men who try to gotcha women, but I looked over the part about just seeing them as vent posts. I get what you mean, but vent posts are dangerous. Women read them and think most men are like that. The same in reverse - I see vent posts from women about men and they piss me off, especially when I see other women supporting them. It "seems" like lots of wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:51 AM
5

I genuinely do not understand how men can expect all women to think and act the same way. Maybe some women lie about it. It is probably also true that some women care about character more than looks. For others they admit that (like most people) attraction comes first. Why do men try to "gotcha" all women based on what some of them say and do? It pisses me off when (some) women do the same thing by the way. Just because some men are jerks doesn't mean we all are.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 02:24 AM
6

That is universal to everyone. Attraction comes BEFORE standards are applied.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 12:10 AM
2

I partly agree, partly disagree. Attraction / interest comes first. This can be looks, or some other personality characteristic we are drawn to. But it's not logical. And it has to be this way. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who isn't attracted to them. So we all just have to accept this. But then of the people we are attracted to, it is up to us to vet them logically against our standards and boundaries. Some people do this, many don't. I don't think we are drawn to poor char…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 11:58 PM
12

Are good women the first choice of u/responsible_mind_259 ?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:49 PM
1

What kind of world do you want to live in? One where people verbally abuse each other? Do you enjoy being abused? If not, don't contribute to it. We all create the world we live in. If bad behaviour excuses more bad behaviour, then we end up in a world full of bad behaviour. If you don't like women treating you like shit, then guess what - don't be like them and treat people like shit. Otherwise you are as bad as them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 08:29 AM
1

That's different... in that case you owe not killing them. What actions are owed?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 02:32 AM
1

When I read your first paragraph, I thought I was going to strongly disagree with you. But by the end of your post, I thought you'd made a valid point. However, I'm not sure it's really a relevant point. I think most uses of "no one owes you anything" is when someone feels that it is someone else's fault that they find dating hard, and so other people need to change their behaviour to make it easier. I think most people should expect basic decency, respect etc. We might quibble about what that m…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 01:45 AM
3

I am 100% for calling out each and every instance of bad male behaviour. I will support you. But when you extend this to "most men", you are doing the same thing as them - verbally abusing people with no justification.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 10:54 PM
6

Sure, that kind of language shows he is completely self-serving and doesn't respect women, and so I strongly dislike it. However I still don't see this kind of thing from "most" men on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 10:47 PM
1

Can I ask how you would feel if anyone said something similar "I don't really know anyone here, but from what little I can see, I think more than half the women here have abusive tendencies"? That is quite an inflammatory opinion to express - I'm really not sure what you were hoping to achieve by posting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 10:33 PM
8

A huge portion of the men in this forum display verbal abuse to women. What do you mean by "huge portion"? I see quite a small amount, so I am curious. I see a lot of blunt disagreement and generalised insults both ways, probably more from men than women, but not much personal verbal abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 10:21 PM
7

You are very fortunate then. Based on what I have read across these dating subs, my own experience, OPs experience, and the other person who replied to you's experience, men are truly less picky than women (on average). It's not a good or bad thing, it just is what it is. It also doesn't mean that we are ONLY interested in sex, although on average we are more interested in sex than women. It just means that we are relatively simple, we don't notice as many details, and so would be compatible wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:43 PM
9

Read your reply... it basically says "I could never date most men, and I could never date women".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:01 PM
14

All this post seems to say is that SOME women (I would extend that to people) only look at hotness and ignore red flags. Think this is already well established, and nobody would disagree with you. But you haven't made the case that most women are like this, let alone all women. It's the same as women who say that because all women have a story of a guy being creepy towards them, then most or all guys must be creepy. What? That logic doesn't make any sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 12:09 AM
13

We need a new term for someone who insults the women ("hoeflation") he is trying to mansplain to!!! Dude you are ridiculously out of touch with the real world. You need to take a good hard look at yourself before you try to tell others what to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:52 AM
2

I agree that some of what James_M_Croft has said elsewhere has been conceited drivel. But in the comment that you replied to, all he said is that some women don't understand men's need for sex. I believe that is true. I genuinely believe that you don't really appreciate the difference that hormones make in men vs women. However, when a man just wants sex, without any loving context, it is no wonder that women have no empathy for that. It is a selfish, immoral desire. You are describing the want …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 12:43 AM
1

I agree with some of what you are saying, but you are also saying that the way men are is disgusting. Just because we are different to you. Sure, I agree that we need to respect each other and our various wants and needs, but to just say that men's needs and wants are disgusting is not helpful. Any relationship (short/long, serious or casual) needs to find something that works for both people. That is on both of them to navigate. No one should be selfish about it. But framing it as "what women t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 11:31 PM
2

Read some other comments
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 11:24 PM
26

No they don't. But it's the same as all the men that complain that "women can have all the casual sex they want", when most women don't want that. Most people are not good at empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 10:21 PM
3

I think women are attracted to confident men, not their toxicity specifically. But a lot of confident men are selfish, and that may not be immediately obvious. I believe this explains why some good/normal women can end up with toxic guys. Nice guys are less forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 01:49 AM
–

I am a huge believer in probabilities and distributions, so it warms my heart to come across someone else who can see that. But I don't believe that unattractive people are more likely to better themselves. I will agree that they are less likely to be corrupted however. So maybe we are saying the same thing, I am just being more negative. If unattractive people mostly wanted to better themselves, then we wouldn't have so many overweight people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 12:44 AM
1

100%. I can't emphasize that enough. Money buys you your basic needs. After that, money does not add to your happiness. I believe this is established by science, but I'm not an expert. Take a look at the wealthy people of our world. They are no happier. They suicide, break up, take drugs, abuse, get toxic and see shrinks as much as anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 12:39 AM
–

Maybe SOME less attractive people wake up and realise they need to better themselves, but let's be honest, this is a tiny %. Just as many get bitter and angry. And yes, power corrupts some (not all) attractive people. But mostly looks and goodness are not related. More people change their attractiveness than their goodness. And of course most people are looking for attractive, good people (even if the attractiveness check comes before the goodness check).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 12:24 AM
5

Yep this sums it up pretty well for me. Before the sex need was met, it was my primary focus. Once I was married, I could focus on other things. For me it took a while to work out the next focus, but I realised that being part of something bigger than just myself gives me the most fulfilment, even though lazy me tries to tell me otherwise. So being part of a community, helping people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:39 PM
4

Not true. In my relationship, I am the spender. I know plenty like this. I know some where both are spenders - 10/10 don't recommend. 1 spender and one saver is best. Even 2 savers just have a boring life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:25 PM
1

I want a partner for the purpose of happiness, not wealth or education etc. None of that stuff is an indicator of happiness to me. Also going after people out of my league is a recipe for frustration and bitterness, so I stock to people in my own socio-economic, education and looks sphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:21 PM
2

It can't be ALL nyc women, it just can't be. Is it a lower socio-economic area? My area is somewhere between low-mid wealth, and most of the people I know are trying to work towards a better life. But I can imagine some people hoping for a shortcut, that if they look pretty enough someone will be their sugar daddy. I don't want anything to do with people like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 02:25 AM
0

What generation are you, and what sort of city/town do you live in? I can't think of anyone I know under 35 in a LTR like this, unless they have a child under 2 and the mum is part time. I live in a large expensive western city. The only young men I know who believe this have never been in an LTR
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 02:00 AM
-1

I agree men carry the financial burden in early dating stages (which you already pointed out and I didn't disagree with), but not long term. People who believe that are stuck in previous generation thinking, or are thinking of shallow pretty women who just expect the world to reward them for looking good (which it mostly does). But for modern, average people I don't believe this is true. Most people can't afford rent/mortgage on their own, and so in modern society both partners need to work and …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 12:35 AM
0

You perceive that dating apps are great for women, but that's not what I hear from them. Just different problems, like being overwhelmed with choice, low effort male profiles that are hard to learn anything from, men pretending they want a relationship but just wanting casual sex etc. Again, that just leads to similar despair from them, not the "brimming with confidence" that you are imagining. How about men are bearing very little risk from accidental pregnancy? Also the bar is lower for men's …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 11:37 PM
–

Haha, are cannibals and Muslims the same are they? You can criticise everyone who behaves the same way, eg people who practise cannibalism, but you still can't say "all muslims" or "all pacific islanders"
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:45 PM
–

The comment accurately describes my experience with some people who are not interested in hearing from anyone with a different point of view
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 04:21 AM
–

Criticism is directed at specific people who behave badly. But anyone who says "all women...", or "all black people..." etc is bigoted. I don't hear much nuance from redpillers regarding women. It seems fundamental to their beliefs that all women are similarly shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 04:13 AM
–

I don't mind hearing from redpillers who think for themselves and genuinely want to understand human nature and gender tendencies. But the ones that give themselves no chance with women for eternity because all women are shallow, are just looking for a circle jerk of self pity that instantly turns me off
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 04:02 AM
2

Because divorce is worse for society. Dividing assets etc has a cost, it just makes lawyers wealthier and people poorer. So if a bit more hope makes 2% more marriages survive, that is a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:29 AM
0

My comment made no reference to love. I believe that up until around 17-18 parents should try to stay together for the good of their children. Obviously if the relationship is toxic or abusive, then separation is better. But sticking it out if you can is better for the kids, WHICH BOTH PARTIES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR. Sure, their own romantic lives go on hold, but you have kids, don't be selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:26 AM
4

Yeah I don't see how this is any different to current marriages. It's just less hopeful.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 09:42 PM
4

As a child of divorced parents, I would NOT want marriage to become temporary as standard. If you're referring to childless relationships, then I don't care, but maybe call it something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 09:40 PM
1

He's not happy in his relationship, I can pretty much guarantee it. No one wants to be with a partner that despises them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 09:12 PM
1

Yeah it wasn't the best example. But not many people are so transparent about their shittiness. How about Trump and Melania? They strike me as two shallow people. I have no idea if Leo and his girlfriends are happy. He's obviously shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 12:19 PM
1

Maybe he is a bad example, but I think we envy shitty people in shitty relationships too much, just because they are hot and/or successful
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:51 AM
2

But don't you think there's something similarly flawed with her, if she was willing to put up with everything up until he repeatedly supported nazis? Everything else was OK up until then...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:49 AM
0

I get the unfairness. I guess I'm not trying to address all of it. I just want to remind everyone that hot people in shallow relationships aren't any happier. I know that doesn't cover the entirety of dating, but I don't want people to think "my life sucks because I can't get a relationship, but everyone who can is so much happier". Shitty people have shitty relationships, no matter how hot they are. So don't be jealous of shitty people. Be jealous of people in happy, healthy relationships sure.…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:44 AM
-1

That's the problem, on multiple levels. 1) why be jealous of people that aren't any happier than you, just for different reasons? 2) if you are in the "I'll take anything I can get" head space, I think people can sense it and it puts them off.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:38 AM
1

Sure, I agree that hot people have more opportunities. But I think people see hot people in relationships, and it triggers them, reminds them of what they think they're missing out on. I just wanted to remind people to see past the looks - you don't really want a relationship with shallow hot people, you want a healthy relationship with someone you are attracted to but will also make you happy. I do believe that the hottest of people are almost always shallow, since it takes lots of time to maxi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:36 AM
2

Haha true, but it's who prompted the thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 09:56 AM
2

That's not what either of us are saying
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 09:55 AM
1

I acknowledged that looks matter. But if you are someone that is jealous of the relationships hot people have with each other, I don't think those relationships between two shallow people that choose partners based on looks ONLY are healthy and happy
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 09:49 AM
21

I'm male, so delete this if it's not allowed. My wife and I got to the point on an issue where neither of us were willing to compromise any further, but couldn't go on with the status quo, and so seriously discussed divorce. But in having a few heated, emotional, probably toxic conversations, where we put it all out there, we came to more fully understand where the other was coming from. Ie the deeper motivations behind the behaviours. That allowed us to find a new way forward, that was differen…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 04:25 AM
–

Your opening statement says "Women don't really want 50/50 co partner relationships", but then your two arguments are about the early dating phase. Men and women appear to bring different things to the early dating phase - men initiate/ask more, and pay more, while women spend more time and money on their appearance. This is a generalisation just from reading prior posts around this argument. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but many people will accept this as truth. But nothing you said a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 04:18 AM
17

Yep agree with this. For me it's going into a social interaction 100% fixated on what you want to get out of it, and zero interest the other person as an equal human. They are just a thing you need. I think that covers your bottom 3 examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:35 PM
0

I can pretty much guarantee you that this doesn't apply to the majority of dating women. Maybe in certain age ranges in certain parts of the world, eg NYC around 20 years old but certainly not the majority of women across the US or anywhere else.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 09:03 PM
-2

If this is what you believe, then you are not listening to women. They are not saying it is easy at all. You are telling yourself that for some reason. But it's not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 11:24 PM
2

This is not most women's experience. It's your imagination. The single women I know are just as single as the single men I know. But OP's take applies perfectly to the women I know - they're happy enough to be single, not desperate for a relationship. They are not actively seeking one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 10:04 PM
4

When are men going to actually observe real women and see that most women are wired differently and don't want sex with random strangers? Ie men are jealous of something women could have, but mostly don't actually want.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 10:01 PM
6

All of these are nuanced and come in shades of grey. "Theres no such thing as relationship equity". Relationships are about compromise, and finding something that works for both people. That will look different for different people. But no one should be a doormat. You can't buy someone's love, so you're example is flawed. If someone agreed to buy a gift, that doesn't give them a right to reciprocity. If it was offered as a transaction, or a deal, it can't ever be "I buy you X, and you'll love me…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 01:18 AM
4

I think these are the common sense, more universally accepted truths that not just red pill believe. They lose me as soon as they wade into putting down women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 12:48 AM
7

Sure, hold them to standards of basic decency, and also ensure your values are aligned. But hold them to not changing/evolving as humans? I hope I grow and change over time, and I expect the same from others
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 10:16 AM
5

What about men who are no longer at their peak? There is someone for everyone. If you are at your best, then sure hold out for someone who matches you. But gosh I hope you are, otherwise your comment is misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 06:06 AM
9

No, that's not what I want at all. I want people to be true to themselves, and have self-determination and agency. If a woman sleeps with a guy, that does not make her a whole, and she certainly doesn't then owe all other guys sex. My goodness, what a take. Get to know some real women, and see their humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 06:04 AM
14

Honestly it seems like you just want to disagree with OP, since she never said what you are arguing against. As a Christian male, I resonate with what OP says. Believe me, you do NOT want a dead bedroom. So I believe what most Christian men really want is to both marry as virgins, and then have an active and fulfilling married sex life, which is exactly what OP says.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 06:00 AM
15

Haha, 100% agree
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 01:33 AM
41

You lost me at your conclusion - "And then what happens?" From there you stated your own personal opinion and bias, with no logical argument. Sure, things are evolving. Should women give up their happiness to be slaves to humanity procreating? Would any choose to live in Afghanistan vs anywhere else? No. You are arguing for women to be re-enslaved. Sure we have new challenges. But going backwards is not the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 01:30 AM
-2

Big yes. Men have this assumption that attraction is 100% appearance. Appearances may earn you a conversation, but then it is up to your personality, self-confidence etc to close the deal. If you are building up resentment to women, then you have not improved your psychology or mindset. I am sure a jaded, defeated, negative outlook will announce itself very quickly and turn people away.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 03:36 AM
1

Firstly, I don't accept that long term physical + psychological self improvement can ever end up with exactly the same result. Attraction is about probabilities (% of women who find you attractive x number of women you are able to engage with), so increasing your attractiveness will ALWAYS increase your probability. And in any case, why would the resentment be toward women? In what way are they to blame?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 03:30 AM
3

I re-read Logos1789's comment, and agree with you that in the aftermath of an assault, lessons around risk should not be part of how they are treated.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:12 AM
0

Like victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:59 AM
0

I think you're being a bit pedantic. We all learn lessons over time about how to manage risks we face. If a reckless driver hits me, it is 100% their fault and I am the victim. But in future to reduce the chance of going through it again I will back off from drivers being idiots.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:24 AM
1

Sure. But we need to all accept that everyone takes risks all the time. Some are reasonable (getting in a car), while others are not (willingly getting in a car with a drunk driver).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:17 AM
0

I think there is a "reasonable behaviour" bar/test. OP gave one example where I think a reasonable person would not follow a creep back to their apartment. But that was one example. They then gave an example of attending frat parties. I am sure many women attend frat parties, aren't assaulted, and have a great time. So that is reasonable behaviour, even though there is some risk involved. Like driving a car. I don't agree with OP's extrapolation from one valid example to the conclusion that wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 12:52 AM
2

What a pointless comment. Most people, men or women, have a first preference for someone attractive. Your comment implies women are alone in this, but they obviously aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 10:51 PM
1

4 broad groups of dating men: 1) Chads who just do whatever is best for them, without even thinking about it, taking advantage of women by pump and dump or getting into a relationship but cheating. 2) Red pill who aren't appealing enough (either looks or personality) to do the above, AND SO PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT AND RESEARCH into how to manipulate women into the same thing 3) Men who see women as equals, and so to make themselves happy (via casual sex or a relationship) they recognise the prerequ…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 09:44 PM
2

I probably agree with everything you say. But you're conclusion at the end is correct, I don't get your point. Most 30-40 year old women are looking for different things to you? OK. That is not a red pill take, that seems pretty common that many women want to settle down before men of roughly the same age. Don't worry, they'll find men who are ready, and you'll find women who aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 08:40 PM
0

This is a very extreme, very black and white take. First men oppressed women. Then women stood up for themselves. Now we are all trying to work out a new, reasonable balance. I think men and women should be unhappy with anyone who is deceptive in relationships. Eg "I will pretend I want casual sex when really I want a relationship", or "I'll pretend I want a relationship, but I really want casual sex". Everything else is just people looking for compatibility. You can't complain about people goin…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 12:42 AM
2

I don't believe anyone is without hope. Yes some will have to put in more effort on self improvement and casting a wide net. But I see LOTS of men and women who expect to get a relationship as they are, which I agree is close to impossible for many people as they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 09:03 PM
10

I suspect that the truth is somewhere BETWEEN what both of you are saying. If both people on a date treat the other person warily because they don't know them, it's going to go horribly. So there has to be some attempt from both sides to build rapport. But at the same time, you have to feel comfortable with them in person before you can be expected to flirt. OP seems to have skipped that step.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 09:24 PM
2

I agree as long as we don't assume that all men are like their average/stereotype, same for women, and that is OK and normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 08:47 AM
–

You will never experience a fulfilling relationship as long as you believe this
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:50 AM
10

I know this, and yet I need to be reminded of it EVERY SINGLE TIME I log into Reddit. Whenever I see a hateful comment with a bunch of upvotes and plenty of agreeing replies, it's really hard to remember that's still a tiny % of the overall population.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 10:33 PM
2

Are you saying they shouldn't have that choice? I don't see the problem. They are saying that the men they have come across don't seem like they are going to add anything to their lives. So they'd prefer no man. So men can choose to 1) better themselves, 2) lower their standards, or 3) give up. There are no other options. I would choose 1 every day of the week. And I am not just talking appearances.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 01:05 AM
1

I agree that lowering standards isn't the answer. I just think that if everyone has standards, and we aren't getting much interest with who we are looking for, then we should work on ourselves. And you're right, it isn't just about appearances. The options we have are to 1) improve ourselves, 2) lower our standards, or 3) give up. I will always choose and advocate for 1. And of course there will always be bad behaviour in both genders like the example you gave. But that doesn't mean we should pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 01:00 AM
6

What you describe applies equally to top tier women and men. Most women don't want to have sex at whim, you are projecting what you want on to them. Most women want a relationship with a man that they feel will add something to their lives. Apparently that is not easy for them to find these days. Do you listen to women? That's what single women are saying. So it sounds similarly difficult on both sides, it's just that you're looking for different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:18 AM
12

As a man, I don't understand other men's fixation with women having high standards. Some women have high standards, some low, most have normal standards. Just like men. The men I know personally who complain about this are unhappy that they can't land the high maintenance hot chics, but don't want to put the same effort into their own appearance. But they would never pursue a "below average" woman. And then complain that women have standards too? It works the same both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 07:04 AM
1

Dude, I don't know where your view of normal women has come from, but it's way off base. You are projecting yourself on to them. Most women are looking for a man to contribute to their happiness in life. Not just who f***'s them the best. You may be right about the initial dating phase, but after that it should be 50-50 in a healthy relationship. And in most LTRs women put in more effort overall. Listen to actual real women, not just your bro friends or what bros say online.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 02:13 AM
6

Both genders have sacrificed in relationships. Women tend to look after the kids and run the household more, while men have had the financial pressure. I'm not saying that is how it should be, but that has been the case across most of history. Now days... do whatever makes you happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 02:04 AM
5

You are 100% right, but it is the same for men as well. We want partners who will make us happy. That's a normal given. I have a single male friend who thinks the same way - "why can't women look past all my negative attributes and see that I'm a normal guy who deserves love like everyone else". But then he only wants to date attractive women. It is true for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:59 AM
2

Because equal opportunity favours the fortunate and keeps down the unfortunate.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 11:12 PM
0

Because continuing the same approach will continue the same result. People hire and promote people like themselves. It's subconscious.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 10:52 PM
3

I am a white male that vocally supports diversity quotas and positive discrimination to correct gender inequality. As part of exposing myself to diverse perspectives, I subscribe to various AskMen and AskWomen subs. However over time, reading posts by women has created an anger in me towards women's views of men. They tend to be "why are all men like X, they should be more like me and it's disgusting that they're not". It could relate to values, relationships, dating, sex, whatever. It bothers m…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 10:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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