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saucypiece Archive

View 1 posts and 125 comments by saucypiece on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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34

Yeah, it’s funny how this “reverse psychology” seems to work too well with some guys. You want him he doesn’t want you. You don’t want him he wants you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 12:53 PM
4

If it’s obvious you can afford the valet fee and you’ve told or shown him that you enjoy high end things, I think the “can’t afford” excuse becomes a polite way of saying you can’t afford to spend money just to see his potentially LV ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 03:54 AM
17

Before you go on the date ask him if you two can go somewhere else because you can’t afford to pay for valet parking. Depending on how important the date is to him, he’ll either offer to pay for an Uber/valet, offer to pick you up, or suggest a place that doesn’t require valet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:35 AM
17

It sounds like her friend’s just still in her pickmeisha phase. I wouldn’t be so quick to drop her friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:42 PM
8

This is what I thought too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:37 PM
47

I’m pretty sure this might be a way of gauging if you’re into girls and if there’s a chance for threesomes. I applaud how you handled it. It’s a bit tone deaf for a man to think it would be okay to talk to their date like one of the bros or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:02 PM
46

This could easily be misinterpreted as jealousy or trying to bash her not look out for her. I think leaving like OP did was best. Dude can go out on a date with his roommate if he wants to. It’s up to the roommate if she wants to turn him down. Weird that he’d even invited her to join them and that she’d agree to be the third wheel on a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:56 PM
40

I feel like I don’t know enough about feminism yet, but I seriously hope the next wave makes a point to call out people who use feminist concepts in a way that favors men and shames women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:04 AM
73

You mean the pickmeisha in Fifty Shades of Grey, right? I think this might be the reason why it’s become so common. Men think this is what women want. I don’t think men would be asking for these things if they worried women would reject them for it. Men are almost programmed to tell you whatever they think is going to seduce you or make you fall for them. I blame Netflix and chill on the majority of pickmeishas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:54 AM
40

How many men are actually having these things? A part of me feels like it’s all talk. Maybe very good looking guys, yes. But the rest? I doubt it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:49 AM
8

I hope it’s okay to ask... What’s it like having the discussion about aging parents? When and how do you bring it up? I’ve never had a serious enough relationship to talk about this and have never had a man ask. I’ve also never seen any dating advice on how to...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 06:49 AM
19

Oof, I even gagged reading this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:47 AM
3

This is one is pretty terrible. Have you dated someone like this? Seriously? If a guy is looking for an excuse not to kiss you there’s a big problem. He’s not your boyfriend or your fuck buddy. I’m not really sure why he’s there. Is he hoping you’ll pay for his dinner? Oh god, this sounds like a NVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:12 AM
5

A) Why couldn’t he cook a special dinner for her at home then? B) Let’s suppose he did. Why didn’t he profusely apologize and then suggest leaving and doing something else? Follow it up with doing something to make up for his f-up. Or he could do both of these.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:09 AM
31

The problem isn’t that she didn’t speak her mind. It’s LVM. Your girlfriend tells you how she hates mushrooms all of the damn time. What kind of a boyfriend buys her a mushroom pizza anyway? A passive aggressive one. It’s called malicious compliance and I believe there’s even a subreddit for it. Why do men do this? I don’t fucking know, sis. I think it has something to do with their peepee shriveling up into their body by even the thought of confronting their girlfriend about anything. So instea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:50 PM
2

Thanks for adding this. The problem I‘ve had with women using the word “cool girl” is how some seem to be using it to put down other women for being more “masculine” or perpetuating the idea that women can’t enjoy “masculine” hobbies and only do it to please men. That’s completely different from the men’s definition of “cool girl” that you’ve presented! In short, a girl who will be “cool” with putting up with his bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 05:18 PM
65

What’s BPT? How is it “victim blaming” to teach women how to not be taken advantage of? Seriously?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:35 PM
21

This guy is literally arguing that it’s “not fair” that he has to work to pay his half while she doesn’t have to work to pay hers. What?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 03:55 AM
-9

Thank you. I could easily be called a “cool girl” and hate how “cool girl” is now becoming synonymous with being a pickmeisha. It’s not the same thing. Y’all are starting to sound like bitter pickmeishas. That’s not what FDS is about. Changing yourself for a man is being a pickmeisha. Pretending to be someone you’re not for a man is being a pickmeisha. When you‘re no longer afraid of being your true self or trying to fit into a man’s expectations of you, that’s when you’ll start attracting men w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 03:40 AM
3

I think this is a natural response for many men. It’s not an expression of being intimidated by other men necessarily. It’s probably him expressing some cognitive dissonance there. I’ve seen a number of guys think “dating around” is “cheating”. This is what happens when men mistakenly believe that girls they’re seeing and girlfriends are supposed to act like wives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 01:12 AM
2

An okay relationshit is when you have to continuously tell yourself that you shouldn’t dump him because he’s a decent guy or decent boyfriend on paper.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:42 AM
4

Were you the one who ended things? I want one like this... Yes I know it’s “terrible” of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:21 AM
5

I’m not sure, but you can try sorting by top posts instead of new I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:10 AM
10

The Netflix and chill of proposals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 07:16 AM
6

The wife in the third example was being very pickmeisha about it all. As soon as the words “she needs me [more than you]” came out of his mouth there were one of two things she needed to do: She needed to tell herself “well looks like I need a new husband” and mentally check herself out of the relationship. And She needed to play damsel in distress so her husband could feel “needed” by her again. He could then choose whose needs to prioritize first: his wife’s or the coworker’s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 12:20 AM
7

Does she have multiple boyfriends?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:04 PM
11

I found one of these in the wild the other day and I still feel weird about it because it was the first time I have. I don’t think I’m pretty enough to run into them regularly, so imagine my surprise when I read an article about women “being happier when married to men less physically attractive than them” and I decided to test it out and swipe on guys 2-3 “points” lower than me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 08:36 PM
10

I really hope you got all excited and asked him when he’s going to surprise you with your very own condo. Always hold them accountable when they try to butter you up with false promises like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:55 PM
3

There’s no doubt that these things are important too, but I think what she was getting at is that men often think these superficial things are the only thing that matters when it’s the least. How a man treats you is of upmost importance, the superficial stuff acts as a bonus. Women who are less physically attractive will have to compromise on things since it’s unrealistic for them to expect to find a guy that has all of these qualities. I think the superficial qualities are things we can comprom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:41 PM
35

This is why I like asking a guy to describe the type of casual relationship he wants and then follow it up with, “so a girlfriend without the title?” Some of them have responded with an overly enthusiastic “yes!” It’s like dude, really? Really? Did that just whoosh right over your head?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 05:40 PM
3

I’ve even heard guys say if he isn’t paying he doesn’t want you to think of it as a date. Open your eyes, ladies. Providing or paying for you is one of the mate retention tactics HVM use. If he’s paying he wants to show you he can be a good provider for you and it’s a good sign he wants to keep you around long term. Some others HVM use are giving you his attention and time. If he wants to impress you and knows he can’t afford dinner, he’ll try to plan something special for you that’s within his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 03:22 PM
18

Do well endowed men start treating you like shit after showing you their... equipment? Not after sleeping with you, just after showing you. Like do they think this is supposed to be enough to keep you on its own? Edit: I hope this isn’t a weird question or seen as trolling or something. I’m seriously trying to make sense of one experience and want to know if this is a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 02:26 PM
2

I’m a “constant work in progress” too. I’ve told myself I need a guy that appreciates this about me, accepts me as I am now, accepts my ideal self, and encourages me to become it. If he doesn’t, then he’s not right for me. I think the best way to deal with this is just to remain open to dating. If he’s asking you out or courting you that means he’s already interested in the you that he sees right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 04:22 PM
2

I’ve seen a lot about OLD, as in online dating, and men being inappropriate on dating apps. I have seen a few posts about old as in age as well, but I believe it’s been about extreme age differences and men who refuse to date women in their age range which often signals some sort of problem itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 04:01 PM
1

The reason why that book suggests leaving for a weekend is because “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. I think even HVM could sometimes become complacent over the years and giving him a small reminder of what it would be like to not have you in his life can sometimes be that kick he needs to continue showing his appreciation for you. This is why being a pickmeisha isn’t a good strategy either. Pickmeisha inadvertently create a situation where the guy doesn’t believe he’ll ever lose her so he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 03:33 PM
2

Oof. I had a guy say this to me too. Men are now expecting sex as the start of a relationship. It all feels like men have taken “equality” and forgotten how pregnancy, birth control, and abortions will always carry greater risks for women than it does for them. And I don’t mean this from a moral, social, religious standpoint. I mean physically and psychologically. What I’ve seen is how men seem to think it’s equal in risk because “oh if you get pregnant then I have to pay child support”. I’m pre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 02:35 PM
7

Don’t double message him like that. If you’ve asked him a question, wait for him to reply. If he’s not answering, it’s because he’s not that into you. There seems to be a specific balance to conversations or interactions with men when it comes to dating. Try reflecting or reciprocating his same amount of effort and see how he responds. If you put more effort than him early on, things could go well for awhile and as soon as you pull back a little, you’ll see that the conversation dies out, he won…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 01:01 PM
1

This is brilliant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:09 AM
28

Men who stereotype women like this work on an idealization and devaluation mindset. They don’t see people as individuals. As soon as you don’t fit into his picture of what an insert literally any label woman is, he’s going to find a way to demonize you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 09:42 AM
23

If a man tells you anything along the lines of how you must think you’re better than him, that might be a sign that he’s worried he won’t be good enough for you. I think this type of humility might actually be a good thing in relationships. Men who perceive themselves to be lower in value (whether they actually are or not in reality) to their girlfriends or wives typically put more effort into treating them well so they can compete to keep their wives. I’d be open to giving a guy like this a cha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 08:55 AM
61

Yes! I’ve noticed whenever I’m feeling down on myself and sell myself short, the LVM come around. When I show more of my true and confident self, LVM are put off, split, or don’t seem to bother to begin with. I wouldn’t say I attract HVM all of the time, but I would say it definitely attracts normal guys and maybe a few HVM. I haven’t gotten confident enough in myself to fully put myself out there yet, but I’m guessing if I were to do that then HVM would flock to me. The best way to attract some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 08:24 AM
2

Can you tell me what the purpose of this strategy is? Isn’t this what PUA do? This type of thing damages budding relationships. Don’t do this type of thing if you want a healthy loving relationship with a good partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 04:40 AM
7

If the only thing he values about you is your looks or sex then he’s probably a sexist moron you don’t want to date. These types of guys don’t seem to offer much in terms of connection or conversation because they tend to underestimate you and treat you like you’re stupid. Learn to value yourself enough to never let a guy like this get you down or try use your insecurities against you. This is different from being “pedestaled”, which you can try to avoid by “accidentally” messing up early and sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 04:22 AM
2

If he’s not a beauty blogger, why is he giving you tips on how to improve your looks? If he tries to, shut him down. The only thing he’s supposed to be is a passive admirer or observer of your beauty. If he doesn’t like it, then he’s not the right guy for you. The only exception would be something like him saying he really likes it when you wear something in particular or style your hair in a certain way, which isn’t an attempt to control your look as much as a request you wear it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 04:04 AM
3

That’s mostly his problem not yours. Guys seem to respond well to affirmations, so when he’s feeling insecure about your relationship or competition remind him that you chose to be with him and are happy with him. If that’s not enough for him, and it should be, then he can choose to level up his self esteem or find a girlfriend he thinks is in his league. I don’t think he can use your beauty against you unless you allow it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 03:50 AM
14

How can he use your looks against you? Maybe I’m not pretty enough... but I don’t think I’ve experienced this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 12:21 AM
18

Let him compliment you all he wants. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s a sign he likes you a lot. Let’s remember men are typically visually driven. If he’s complimenting your appearance excessively he is already on your hook. Just never let this go to your head. Ever. Let him prove himself to you through actions that show you he means what he says. Lovebombing is often him making promises or lying and never following through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 12:17 AM
2

You just made me wonder what would be non-pickmeisha ways to show this in return. And how long you should wait to show you care about him too. Or should women focus on showing appreciation by using other types of love languages?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 10:02 PM
48

Is it emasculating to wipe your ass? Really?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 09:27 PM
4

Oh trust me, validation seeking definitely comes with what I described. It’s just a minor infraction compared to the effect it has on his kid. The type of validation she gave him just ends up reinforcing his belief that it’s totally okay to do this shit to his kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:05 AM
7

The reason why he was all “oh shit I’m such a bad dad” is probably because he was worried he wouldn’t make it there on time to be able to pull the “I was present, even if was for two whole minutes, therefore I am a wonderful and supportive parent” rationalization. I would know, I’ve been the kid in this situation...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 02:51 AM
8

Things like this melt my heart!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 02:06 AM
0

This doesn’t apply to this situation. They split up officially and are currently apart. What you said is true when a woman gives her boyfriend a “fake” ultimatum and then doesn’t follow through by leaving. Also, this doesn’t mean taking him back on the mistaken belief that he has changed his previous toxic behaviors and “will do better now”. You can’t change a person’s behavior. The type of situation I meant is something like: A couple has a healthy relationship. One person’s job forces the othe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 12:53 AM
11

I’ve ended dates by saying I had to leave because of some other responsibility. It’s easy to use especially when you’ve already agreed to meet on the premise that you have other things happening that day and can only meet for a short amount of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 06:55 PM
0

If the relationship was great and it ended amicably, most people would get back together if the opportunity presents itself. If he really wants to be with her, missing her will motivate him to fix whatever circumstance forced them to break up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 06:23 PM
16

I’d add that it’s not rude to end a date early if you aren’t feeling it or if you can tell he isn’t into you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 04:59 PM
-2

I don’t get it. What’s wrong with being emotionally supportive to your partner? And how is using your words to encourage someone a lot of work? I’d want my SO to do the same for me. This guy says he did. (I know he could be lying but I’m going off of what he wrote here. Men who are toxic typically demonize their exes, they’re not able to acknowledge both good and bad parts of a relationship.) It sounds like he’s grieving the loss of his relationship because it helped motivate him to be a better …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 04:04 PM
-15

I mean, I don’t know ladies, but this guy sorta sounds almost... high value? “When things are bad, her simple encouragement of ‘It’s okay baby, I believe in you’ is all I needed. E.g failed interview turned into bigger interviews, something something Ivy league, blah blah.” Do you know how many times I “it’s okay baby, I believe in you”d my ex, and that bastard still couldn’t/wouldn’t do jackshit except continue WHINING about how horrible his life is? This guy didn’t include why he broke up with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 09:16 PM
9

Dafuq did I just read?? What an oxymoronic thing to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 08:17 PM
6

I wish I had read this back then. The peer pressure to find a boyfriend when all of your friends have them is weird. I’ve had men shame me for not having been in a serious relationship before too. Isn’t that great?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 10:30 AM
11

It’s a phrase that’s used to deny any personal responsibility. It could be for any reason. They just don’t want to own up to having contributed to the end of the relationship or even admit they were dumped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 04:48 AM
26

Letting him talk about his ex, briefly, can weed out men who speak about their exes negatively. If he talks about her at length then he isn’t over her. But in my opinion I’d prefer a guy who speaks about his ex too fondly than a guy who places all of the blame on the woman. “She was crazy.” = “I’m not emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 04:40 AM
6

Okay, I know people are going to hate me for this, but... This is how you would train a dog, so the girl might be onto something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 03:25 PM
8

If you have an abusive family it is an extremely important to find a partner that not abusive. If not the likelihood of them “banding up” together like this is high. I’m writing this primarily to help warn other women about people like this. It’s important to know what the signs of abuse are. It’s also important to work on your assertiveness, because it tends to deter people like this. Not always, but it helps. I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope things are better for you now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 03:18 PM
8

I’d forcefeed him his own cum. Bastard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 03:12 PM
5

I have a real question about this. If you were to go and get an abortion, do they ask you anything about who the father is? Or how does that go? With the whole men’s rights thing, this terrifies me. I don’t know how it works right now and don’t know what they advocate for. I don’t want to be baby trapped in the same way they claim to not want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 03:09 PM
9

Yep. He’s “protective”, she’s “crazy”. I totally get your frustrations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 08:43 PM
4

I don’t know, maybe this is just really difficult for me to relate to or imagine. I think it’s difficult for me to find men I’m attracted to enough to even want to be intimate with. And I’ve decided I’m not going for any guy who doesn’t meet my minimum standard ever again. My pickmeisho was horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 08:36 PM
13

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a woman rationalizing this by telling herself his dick was just oh, so, good. This is something men do. Most women who are getting used for casual sex have been taught this is what they have to do to keep a man, or even worse get a man. There is some truth in sex playing a role in keeping a man. But it sure as hell doesn’t help you get a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 07:52 AM
5

Right. The only way you could possibly date based on potential is if his parents planted the right seeds. If they didn’t, next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 03:04 AM
6

How long is he able to hold the facade? I think it might be more important for women to learn how to identify abuse and red flags, and how to see through bullshit, lovebombing, and sweet talking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 02:19 AM
17

It’s fine to say “I don’t deal with men who x, y, z.” It’s dumb to add on the “because it’s low effort behavior.” I’m sure what I’m going to say next is going to bother some people but I think it has to be said. Ladies, only use these strategies when you’ve gotten to a point that you full heartedly believe in them. Don’t use them simply because you believe it’s a strategy to get a guy. That’s pickmeisha behavior and it shows through. Are you trying to convince yourself not to deal with x, y, z t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 01:10 AM
14

I don’t think most men are smart enough to be this calculating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 12:52 AM
23

No confident HVM is probably going to spend his time googling these things. He already knows dick is abundant and believes his dick is higher in value than that of other men. That’s why I like following up casual sex requests by asking them why I should pick them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 12:42 AM
15

Honestly, I think it’s all in how you tell him and how good your bullshit detection skills are. Red flags are your boundaries and making those known is not a bad thing. Yellow flags are pet peeves that may or may not become a dealbreaker in the grand scheme of things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 12:19 AM
7

I think whether or not it’s a pickmeisha move depends on what your intentions were. Being considerate of other people’s needs is important in any healthy relationship. What makes it pickmeisha is when you’re willing to put all of your own needs aside or basically kiss ass (ahem.. suck dick) just to try to keep or get any guy. That’s not valuing yourself. From how you’ve described things, it sounds like you valued your relationship and he was just being an intolerant and unforgiving person. But, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 12:04 AM
8

I think this type of guy rationalizes things by telling himself “don’t you worry, buddy! That bitch is going to hit the wall soon. Doesn’t even matter that I practically totaled when I hit the wall!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 10:51 PM
19

It’s even sadder when the empathy is there, but they’re too fucking stupid for their own good... “I feel guilty when you tell me you’re hurt over something I did, exactly what I did that hurt you, and why it hurts you. This means you’re guilt-tripping me. Guilt-tripping is manipulative. Therefore, you’re manipulating me.” Tl;dr: “I feel guilty when I hurt you so you’re manipulating me.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 10:30 PM
10

Aren’t sociopaths supposed to be intelligent? More so than your average narcissist?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 10:08 PM
13

I have no idea how all divorce proceedings work... yet. But, I’m sure “divorce rape” affects women too. These guys choose to stay blind to how a divorce affects a woman and only care to see how it affects them. They demonize their wives/girlfriends/women. They’re not willing to take any responsibility for their own actions and how they contributed to their own so called demise. They can never understand how a “nice” passive aggressive, selfish, and probably delusional guy like him could have suc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 10:00 PM
17

They usually need to learn the hard way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 09:32 PM
26

Imo, these guys probably have more issues at play than what this article states. If they’re so “eligible”, then why do no women want to stick around or alternatively how is no woman good enough for them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 09:27 PM
10

This is an entirely different context than dating, but this reminded me of this tv show where the girl shut down her “best friend’s” legitimate concerns about the girl’s new boyfriend simply because her friend hadn’t had a serious relationship. I’m not a huge fan of discounting people’s opinions just because they aren’t able to implement these things themselves. But in the context you described, I highly doubt it was advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 06:06 AM
6

This! It was probably ingrained in me to feel ashamed about not putting effort into my appearance, but I think there might be a difference between a person being expected to put effort into their appearance (basically taking care of themselves) versus a person having unrealistic expectations (expecting you to look like a facetuned Instagram picture at all times).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 05:49 AM
18

I digress. Men seem to flaunt whatever they believe is their strongest asset. They also exaggerate to try and impress you and lure you in. This is the “peacock dance”. Nobody promised the peacock would be a professional dancer just because he fooled you with one amateur dance. This is one reason why it helps to be well versed in several topics. It’s not so much about impressing him or holding your own weight, it’s more about being able to tell if he’s flat out lying to you (manipulation) versus …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 05:13 AM
14

I’d love this too. It’s romantic and a very good thing if a guy feels like you inspire him to be a better man. He should be doing the same for you. I guess the previous poster thinks muse might mean what he jerks off to. I know, it’s gross, but you’d be surprised how some people can use this word...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:44 PM
1

Aren’t male porn stars supposed to be equal in looks to the women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:00 PM
10

It sounds like they’re trying to seek your approval which probably means they care what you think. I feel bad for guys like this. Sometimes being honest about what they can improve on and saying it nicely can be helpful. I’m guessing if they’re already you’re friends, that they’re good guys personality wise? I hope... If they don’t take the advice well, then why did they ask for your opinion to begin with?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:58 PM
8

This is what people do when they can’t have something they want. Yes, I’ve unfortunately seen women do it too, except the women I’ve seen do it, do it with clothes! “It’s okay I don’t need that dress, it’s ugly anyway.” They’re just trying to convince themselves they don’t want something they can’t have by finding flaws in it. It’s a way to console themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:47 PM
19

I’d love to know why this foot thinks he’s Ryan Reynolds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:41 PM
12

This is so indicative of how very likely a lot of men see women who make the first move, they see these women as being convenient or “easy”. I understand some men are shy, but I was reading an article recently that says shy men WILL put in effort to get to know you and spend time with you if they like you, they just might not be confident enough to ask you out unless you make it clear that you like him like that. So that guy who is already very sweet with you, always tries to talk to you and ask…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:30 PM
7

Because her stepmother and stepsisters are controlling, jealous, and abusive. It would only give them more reason to abuse her. Of course that isn’t a good reason at all, but to them, it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:55 PM
11

To avoid giving her stepmother and stepsisters any more reason to abuse her, even more than they were already doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:51 PM
47

I’m a total night owl, so I wouldn’t mind late night dates at all. I think they could be fun! I just hate how every single man thinks that you talking to or interacting with them after 10pm means “OPEN FOR SEX”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:49 PM
5

This is so true! Although I will say I have seen a change in behavior (minor things though) from considerate guys! If he cares he’ll be willing to stop doing minor thing that bothers you while he’s around you. I have no idea if this would hold up long term though, since things with these guys didn’t work out for other reasons!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 08:47 PM
24

Am I the only one who feels like guys are bigger jerks on Snapchat than they would be otherwise? I guess it’s better to know sooner rather than later! But still...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 05:33 PM
4

I had this happen to me with a guy, except I was the one who felt misunderstood. I guess we must have had different flirting styles. Anyway, a few tips... Men don’t really take well to having compliments rejected. I’ve heard some say that it feels like their opinion doesn’t matter. Sometimes it just makes things awkward. It’s a way for him to show you he’s interested. When flirting, it’s always best to say thanks then follow that up with whatever way you want to call him out on whether that’s tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 08:00 AM
60

Let me just say that if you’re in your early 20s waiting around until after he’s 25 for any major change is not helpful either!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 07:38 AM
61

I hate it when men try to tell you they’re poly and act like they have experience juggling multiple women when they don’t. “Oh this is the first time I’m trying this.” Oh, well looks like I’m not interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 01:03 PM
17

This. Superior men are TRULY kind, compassionate, and generous. And no this is not the same as being a “nice guy”. Let’s remember that, ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:57 PM
194

I lose a lot of respect for men who say things like this about their wives or girlfriends. Apparently men speak about their partners this way to other men to deter them. So if a guy does this, he’s probably a low value partner who can only resort to talking badly about his wife/gf in order to keep her. Nobody should stay with a man like this. Pass!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 10:56 AM
37

Guys will shame you if your answer is 0 or 1 too. They’ll say things about how you’ll get clingy and annoying and they don’t want to deal with that. There really is NO right answer. A guy that’s judgmental or even okay guys that just want you as a fwb will find stupid reasons to disqualify you from being girlfriend material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 07:26 AM
4

I completely agree that trying to get them to be better partners doesn’t work. It’s frustrating and exhausting. On a side note, please tell us your ways! I want a few engagement rings!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:15 AM
7

What do you mean by early proposed to? With a ring or just bringing up the subject or even asking without a ring? I would see it as love bombing if they’re just talking about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 03:33 AM
14

Not totally sure here, but I think men who don’t lovebomb will just be enthusiastic, interested, or eager to see you, but won’t actually tell you they’re in love with you so soon out of fear of being rejected, mistaken, a lunatic, or just plain creepy. The guys who tell you they’re in love with you or talk about the future too soon are trying to manipulate you or see you as gullible. A lot of the examples it seems like the guy felt like he always knew but didn’t actually say it until later! Or a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 03:31 AM
5

I think what she means is that some women can want solely sex from a guy who doesn’t meet her standards for “boyfriend material” or “husband material”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 12:06 AM
4

Right. Being honest about your past relationships and seeing how he reacts can be a good thing, imo. How he reacts and treats you accordingly I think will give you a good idea of the type of person he is. I wouldn’t wait 6 months to a year to reveal so much about myself because I personally don’t want to waste 6 months or a year of my life (seriously!?) on a guy who isn’t accepting of me. Fuck that. Especially the part about not talking about sex, and saving it as a treat for him. I enjoy talkin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 11:27 PM
3

How do you easily access your messages? I’ve heard they changed the way it works, and now it’s more complicated. I hate having to swipe on men, that’s what tinder is for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 08:26 PM
7

You mean how far he’s willing to travel! I wouldn’t agree to see a man who asks me to go to him (unless he’s paying for your travel expenses), or asks me to meet him halfway. They’re harder to find, but some will and I think it’s a great quality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 08:20 PM
3

You could always try finding a LDR that starts online with someone who would be willing to move for you. You’ll expand your options this way. The downsides to this are men who would be willing to uproot their lives for you might not be as educated or have a high paying job. But if you can find a man that’s devoted to you, meets all of your other criteria, and is just generally a good fit for your life, then why not?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 08:02 PM
1

How is it terrible or what do you see going wrong?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 02:22 AM
2

Probably angry because he doesn’t meet the criteria... Wouldn’t it be nice if more men saw this list as the type of partner they should strive to be?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 07:06 PM
1

What is reciprocating effort and being just as aggressive as he is in terms of effort?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 05:12 PM
53

I don't think #2 really works. Men who are looking for a more serious commitment or maybe even ready to settle down won't tolerate this and, in my experience, will end things quickly if you do not reciprocate or are less available than what he expects or wants in a partner. In hindsight, I've been able to see all the times I have fucked up and basically shot myself in the foot by taking too long to come around and go out with a guy or being unavailable to him. Yes, men are hunters. That means if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 04:51 PM
-3

This makes me laugh because I recently decided to start saying I'm looking for a no labels relationship. I have a good idea of what I want and that's what I'm looking for. I'm not going to settle for anything less than that. I really do not care what we call it from the get go. I'm not liking how some guys will use whatever label you say you want to try and convince you that's what you two are or what he'll provide. I'm also not a fan of how some use the label "fwb" to mean "booty call", "one ni…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 04:02 PM
4

There’s nothing wrong with ending things if you’re not sexually compatible! I wasn’t able to read the post, but this particular guy just sounds like a jerk who very likely later decided he wanted to try these things instead of being upfront about it, and on top of that wasn’t respectful to OP not being okay with it. If a man isn’t able to have an open discussion about sex in a mature way, voice what his preferences are, any fetishes or kinks, discuss concerns and limits, and especially listen to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 01:13 PM
11

It doesn’t matter that you’re fat, as long as you have REALISTIC expectations about dating and are able to accept that people are less likely to be attracted to you because of your weight unless that’s specifically what they’re into. It’s possible to find a good guy that’s also overweight and will be accepting of your weight. Even better if he is also working towards improving his health too, since it could be something you two bond over and can work at together. DON’T date a guy who is in ANY W…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 11:10 AM
6

Some of those men have the belief that the world owes them a hot, thin girlfriend. When they learn that’s not how the world works, they get angry, bitter, then go on about how unfair it all is, all while ignoring or rejecting a girl who shares their BMI and lifestyle. I commented on that “I’m not attracted to my morbidly obese girlfriend” post on dating_advice this morning and look at the reply I received. If she’s able to find a mature and realistic fat man, a guy who is working towards losing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 09:59 AM
5

Started talking to a guy who does judo... Contemplated asking him if he’d teach me, then decided nope this man should never know how unlethal I am. Nope. Nope nope nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 03:26 PM
2

Have the relationship talk with him first. I would not bring up the Instagram message or any concerns about him sleeping with other people yet. I worry that bringing up your concerns about that message during the same time could give the impression that you changing your mind about wanting a relationship is coming from a place of jealousy, possessiveness, or wanting to control. He needs to know that you want this relationship based off of what you two have right now and how great it is! If any r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 02:58 PM
2

This is when you turn around and ask “well, what do you have to offer me?” Or if I’m feeling particularly cynical that day, “years of misery”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/19 03:59 AM
1

I personally don’t see any harm in responding that you miss him too. “I miss you” can sometimes just be another way of saying “I like you”. If it’s early on, I play along or tease him about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/19 12:02 PM
22

Don’t use Snapchat. You are rewarding minimal effort. Men are more likely to ask for or expect nudes, send you surprise dick pics, send you inappropriate messages, mass send snaps to all their female contacts, put in less effort, not remember your conversations, and if you’re sharing snaps frequently he gets daily doses of you (along with all the other women he’s added) while putting in minimal to no effort. He should have to earn your snap. And it should be held higher than your phone number, i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/19 09:19 AM
109

If a man won’t cook for you, another one can and will. Really. For awhile, I actually used to weed out men by dropping “I don’t know how to cook” lines and seeing their reaction...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 11:18 PM
15

Where was this sub when I needed it 5 years ago!? I’m loving this place and I’m here to stay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 11:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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