scherecwich Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Disputes while using a mediator? One option then is refinance. Take your 20 years mortgage and make it 30. That’s should drop it 300 a month?	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/19 11:06 PM
1	Disputes while using a mediator? Also depends on how much equity is in the house. If she’s giving you the house and there’s nice equity in it...sell it and downsize to a nice two bedroom apartment. I was divorced in 2018 and I feel the heartache and desire to keep “the family home”, but to be honest, selling it and pocketing the equity was the best move I could have made.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/12/19 09:52 PM
3	Why wasn’t I good enough? Not all men...but some, yes. They absolutely have that ability. I’m sorry to hear he treated you like that. It’s not fair or right, but it does happen.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/06/19 05:05 AM
11	Not sure if I should end it If you’re truly committed to saving the marriage, show her you care and start doing some of the things she and you both agree need done. Start by making a written list of all the things around the house that you need to do. It probably doesn’t matter that you don’t do them well, but at least you need to TRY. She makes an income too, right? And she comes home and cooks dinner I imagine? While you...grab a beer and chill? Life is hard, son. Be a man and do the hard stuff. Write the list. Tape it t…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/19 07:37 AM
2	Would you divorce your partner for an online relationship? Buy a strap on penis and YOU get to be the man for a night. If he likes BDSM, show him who’s in charge....forcefully.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/19 06:43 AM
1	Renting to Ex in lieu of child support Are you staying at the house too? If so, go watch this movie.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/19 10:28 PM
2	This morning my wife told me our autistic son was “a piece of shit”. This was the final nail in the coffin for me. I’m truly sorry to hear that, but I fully understand. I also have a child with autism, and my ex gained custody, which I struggle to think is best for my child. I wish you luck.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/05/19 06:22 PM
1	This morning my wife told me our autistic son was “a piece of shit”. This was the final nail in the coffin for me. Might not have a custody battle if she was serious about the comments. Being a single parent of a special needs child is extremely difficult.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/05/19 05:14 PM
0	STBX wants to call off divorce at the final hour. It’s the reverse of cold feet at the altar. She’s realizing a good thing she had is gone and it scares the hell out of her. The changes born by fear are superficial. If you take her back, then in two months she’ll be the same as she ever was.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/05/19 08:08 PM
2	What IF I Stopped Paying Alimony? Exactly. That’s why I wanted to rush the paperwork through. My finalization went thru 11/12/18, so I was able to meet the cutoff. Here’s an article that summarizes better than I can explain. I was triggering the first bullet point in the list.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/05/19 04:28 PM
2	What IF I Stopped Paying Alimony? California. And it is negotiable, we went mediation because I wanted it quick and over and settled by Jan 1, 2019. By doing this, she has to pay taxes on it as taxable income and I get to claim it all as a tax deduction.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/05/19 03:33 AM
8	What IF I Stopped Paying Alimony? Married 18 years and she was a stay at home mom. She now works in a min wage retail for her insurance. It’s also got a cap on it of eight years. Yeah, I’m getting raped, but only for a short time. Then I’m fully free and clear. Other option was a third my salary until I retire. I did the math and determined this was my cheaper route.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/19 10:04 PM
12	What IF I Stopped Paying Alimony? In California, my lawyer warned me that if I quit or took a lower paying job, it would be contempt of a court order and possible jail time (if they decide I did it on purpose to avoid my obligation.) But I hear you. I pay just under half my salary in alimony and it is a struggle every month.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/19 09:44 PM
3	New Development in California: Quick Divorces on the Horizon Meh. Article says it’s only good if you have no property or assets. So not much use to any man browsing this sub. Most everyone here is five plus years in and has questions about asset management.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/04/19 09:01 AM
1	Divorce and friendships A couple have been lost, yeah, that my ex brought with her into the marriage. After 18 years of marriage her friends became our friends and I had even thought my friends too....but post divorce, poof.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/04/19 07:13 PM
2	My wife wants a divorce and I don't, HELP! Duly noted, thanks for the tip.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/04/19 04:37 PM
1	My wife wants a divorce and I don't, HELP! Lol. Have to laugh at that as I got divorced last year, and took a year off to myself. Started dating again, and the girl I’m with now wants me to teach her how to play D&D. I spent 20 years with a woman who hates the game, and now I’m back to enjoying my life again with people that share similar interests. Edit: Also start therapy this week. Shouldn’t have taken me a year, but I’m glad I started.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/04/19 05:46 PM
2	Free at last! I’m done with child support but still have 8 more years of alimony to pay out :(	/r/Divorce_Men	05/04/19 05:52 PM
1	Why do men move out during the divorce or let their wife kick them out? Yeah. I moved to the couch, but otherwise she’s the one who left the house.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/03/19 05:14 AM
3	I mean...just why? Depending on his thought process. Maybe thought that was all he needed to do, and he’s done. Or, you know, crazy.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/03/19 04:28 PM
5	CA DINK If you do a mediator and she’s ok, then yeah that’s possible. I got divorced last year and did pretty much that. My lawyer said I could do a lifetime of monthly payments at “xxxx” or I could do a set nine years but pay “xxxx+yyy” to have a known cap. My ex and I talked about it and she was ok with the higher payment and a cap on the years. Edit: we went the mediator route. Please remember that YOU still pay income tax on all the money you shell out to her monthly. It used to be a write off but n…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/03/19 02:37 AM
3	Getting my STBX mail and bills at my new place First question is, if your name is on them, are you actually liable for them? They may be her bills but if you’re both on the account then you’re both responsible. This is a multi step fix that won’t be easy... 1) call each of them and ask how to update the address. Give them your STBX’s address. After that’s been updated, then ask how to remove your name. 2) For any that won’t take you off, finish the divorce and get the decree signed by a judge that says you are not responsible for these bills…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/03/19 08:32 PM
1	How much in alimony can I expect to pay after 12 years of marriage. Which is right about that 17k. One thing to ask whatever lawyer/mediator you’re using is to verify their calculators are using the new tax laws. As of Jan 1, you don’t get to deduct alimony on your taxes any more....you pay that full burden.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/03/19 10:10 AM
2	just needing to vent Oh man that sucks. Sadly most states believe a child should be with their mother. My thoughts are you should fight for your kids, or they’re going to grow up expecting this is how a woman acts...like you said, grandma is just like mom. Last thing you want is your daughter turning into them, or your son marrying a girl like that. I realize a lawsuit with you out of town so much is a non existent idea. While I 💯 appreciate and thank you for your service, I wouldn’t re-enlist. Hell, I’d ask if you …	/r/Divorce_Men	28/02/19 03:49 PM
2	I got served at work Adding a voice to the new lawyer. With you both working and making equivalent, there is no real reason for you toy pay her lawyer or alimony (maintenance). I was going to suggest mediation, but when I read abusive alcoholic, it sounds like a full court session will be needed. Gonna get expensive, but she can pay her own half.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/02/19 05:10 PM
4	How did you do it? Naw, dude. That shits for high school.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/02/19 01:36 AM
1	How did you do it? It’s...really hard. Sometimes you have to hurt the ones you care about. Think of it like doing an operation on a battlefield. There’s bombs and war going on all over the place, and you’ve been wounded. The only way out is to perform surgery without anesthetic on both you and someone you’ve been at war with. It’s going to hurt, a lot, for you both.....but once the operation is done, you can both leave the battlefield and the war behind you. I can’t promise there isn’t other battles and other wars…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/19 06:14 AM
2	Working out custody and child support Well, we have kids involved so I chose to be amicable and not fight her on everything. Yes, I’m out a good chunk of money, but it also ensures my kids are taken care of.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/02/19 06:01 AM
1	Working out custody and child support Agreed to avoid lawyers at all costs. My divorce used a mediator, who has access to all the same things a lawyer does. One of them is called Dissomaster, a software program that calculates your income, her income, child support, etc, and helps run different scenarios to see what the net monthly income for each side would look like. Be careful of taxes. The dissomaster runs off of gross income, not Net, but then does include suggested withholdings for each party to be able to adjust their regular…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/02/19 03:40 PM
1	claimed my daughter on taxes during divorce This might be one for r/FreeLegalAdvice but my thought is no, since the divorce isn’t final she’s still your kid. That said, if she is filing separately then she can also try to claim the child, which would only be the case if she’s doing a joint tax return with him. If he’s filing as head of household but she’s filing separately, then no chance can he do it. Also remember it’s based off of months of care. If he’s been taking care of her less than half of 2018, then again...no chance. Has to be …	/r/Divorce_Men	22/02/19 06:33 AM
5	Any advice on the first steps Ok. I checked into annulment laws in Michigan. (Basically just pretend the marriage never happened.) No go there. Heart break betrayal isn’t a valid reason. You won’t have much joint assets, and hopefully you have separate bank accounts still. I got divorced last year, and a lawyer would have cost me $30,000 to go full trial. I went with a mediator, cost me about $6,500. $2000 for my lawyer to make sure it went right $3000 for the mediator $1500 for her lawyer, cuz she didn’t have income so I ha…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/02/19 04:51 PM
2	Any advice on the first steps How newly married? Less than a year?	/r/Divorce_Men	21/02/19 04:00 PM
1	Contacted State Rep. today That’s horrible. I’d offer advice but I have none.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/02/19 12:20 AM