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View 2 posts and 38 comments by sexchairmillionaire on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
35

sexchairmillionaire/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 02:57 AM
34

sexchairmillionaire/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 10:28 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Take time to know and like yourself after honestly assessing your values. No other person completes you. If you do get married, at any age, leave your regrets at the door. A marriage takes 2 people working constantly at it for it to work and it only takes 1 person to sabotage it. Don’t be the one to sabotage it. Be the one who works tirelessly for your relationship and if it ends then you’ll know you gave it your all and you’ll be back to yourself with a little time, lots of journaling and a goo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 01:38 AM
2

Time. Energy. Effort. If you’re not seeing a therapist, then find one. A good one. One who can hold a mirror up to show you the stories you’re telling yourself. Start a to-do list. Put anything on it. “Start a to-do list” can be number 1. Having actionable steps was huge for me. I planted trees. I painted pictures (I’m not an artist). And listen to classical music in the background (I’m not a big classical music fan, either). It wasn’t about distraction. It was about lifting my mood and re-wirin…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:04 PM
2

Whoa
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 01:44 AM
27

Well, I was with my high school sweetheart for 24.5 years. Married for 17. The last 2 years of it she introduced the topic of divorce. For me, only being recently out of the relationship- it seems she did grow. She did change. So did I. Funny thing about relationships is they require 2 people to remain vigilant in support of the relationship for it to work and just 1 person to stop for it to fail. In the end, it came down to values. Or so I think. I was raised to believe love requires some sacri…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 12:16 PM
5

So my ex left in January 2025 and I immediately hopped on dating apps. It was way too soon. I met someone wonderful on Match in February. I broke it off in April because I recognized it was way too soon for another real relationship. I went on a couple casual dates (6) in the 2 weeks that followed this break up and realized I was now measuring these other women against the one I had just broken up with. I took a lot of heat in a Reddit dating forum from folks who had strong opinions about me bei…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 11:09 AM
2

If you happen upon the same tree in the woods twice - it isn’t because that tree is any more or less special than any other tree in the forest. It’s because you’re lost.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 09:31 PM
3

Hey man, toughest thing my personal trainer ever told me is: “you can’t outrun a bad diet”. No amount of time in the gym will fix what you’re aiming to fix until you get your nutrition under control. I’d recommend reading up on the intermittent fasting fad. It has tremendous value if you eat clean first thing in the morning- skip breakfasts and have a big salad with chicken or tuna as your protein for your first meal of the day around 11:00 or noon. Then stop eating at a certain time of evening-…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 07:14 PM
5

Don’t pass your pain on to your children. We can manage it. We can breathe through it. We can therapize. We have the words. We have the strength. So do you. Don’t pass the buck this way and give the pain to your little ones. 17 and 20 are still children. I know it’s hard. It does get better. Call 988 right now. Do it. You owe it to yourself as well as your family and their kids.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 09:29 PM
1

Bwahahaha! Thank you for the levity.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 07:01 PM
2

Yep. Yes, I see how I was the nice guy who treated her like a child. She also played that role well. She really moved away from me when she found coaching. I’ve posted in the Life Coach Snark subreddit all about it. I thought that group could help me understand what happened to her. It was like she joined a cult. When I finally put my foot down on the expenditures for her ‘business’ I was already on the outside and not to be trusted. I’d lost her years before she left.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 08:55 PM
2

Yep. She still wants to be friends. I have a feeling everything remains amicable until she runs out of money. By then though, everything is filed and final - I hope.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 09:44 AM
2

Yes I agree. And although I’m hurt, I don’t think I’d have done anything differently. I did the best I could with the information and beliefs I had. No regrets. I’m proud of how I showed up and continue to show up.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 09:42 AM
2

I’m both encouraged and disheartened to read all the similarities between your and my stories. As well as with the other commenters. There’s no acceptance of any responsibility. Just self serving behavior with no regard for the chaos.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 09:40 AM
2

I see now how unappealing it must have been to be on the receiving end of it. Not that she would have enjoyed mistreatment but structure on my end. Ironically, when I started to do that is when she started to pack it in and move away. Too little too late. But I can see it. Gotta be me. I also feel lost. It was a huge part of my identity being her husband. A good husband. But yea, too much deference.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 11:42 PM
2

Amen!
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 04:34 PM
1

Thank you. This brings some peace.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 04:33 PM
2

Yes! This is helpful, too. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 01:19 PM
1

Now there’s a lesson. I’m sorry, Friend. The acrimony you’ve described has to incredibly painful to live with. And I imagine it occupies a large footprint in your brain even when we wish it wouldn’t. We have to stay focused on how life will be better when the divorce is final and discard anything that’s keeping us from getting it over the finish line.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 01:09 PM
3

I heard a song this morning I’ve heard 100 times before and never really HEARD. ‘Next Girl’ by the Black Keys. I was kind of gobsmacked. Apparently this happens all the time. And yea, I can learn what to avoid and how to protect my heart better. But some people are just selfish A-holes who apparently go through life like this. It’s like the Simpsons episode with Stampy the elephant. At the end of the episode they give Stampy to an elephant sanctuary and he starts head-butting the other elephants…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 01:06 PM
2

Restart your life if you want a lesson. Not sure why I’m paying for therapy. Thank you. Everyone. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 12:30 PM
3

Say it ain’t so. In the words of the great Michael Scott, “I’m ready to get hurt again”.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 12:29 PM
2

Wow, how cliche are we? Mine had an alcoholic father who was emotionally abusive, married a woman who was also kind of nutty and spoke broken English. Her mom left her when she was 4 and came back sober but with no place for my ex in her new life. Mommy issues. Daddy issues. My. Family welcomed her. Supported us. She spat in all of our faces and said it’s for our benefit. Including my own children. This is all for her. Everyone else is sacrificing for her still. I can’t wait to be done with this…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 12:27 PM
2

Yes, that is the question: Why did I tolerate the mistreatment and lack of reciprocity for so long? I don’t know. The mind-F is that if she hadn’t left me I’d still be in it. What changed in recent years is I started saying, ‘no’. And she started getting squirrelly and skittish in response. She said I was trying to keep her small. Made me feel guilty for holding her back. I’m an adult. I take responsibility for being a door mat. I guess a part of me either enjoyed it or at least didn’t know any …
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 12:20 PM
4

I would really like to believe she tried to love me. She had a challenging childhood and we met at 16, married at 26. I was a stable, kind guy. Probably exactly the safe harbor her nervous system needed to grow and then grow dissatisfied. Like I said in reply to another comment here, I just thought I had a bigger lesson about me and how I showed up. Apparently my lesson is, ‘tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all’. And maybe there’s no shame in loving someone else and …
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 10:10 AM
3

Goddamn. Can I plagiarize this, please. I can’t thank you - and everyone who is responding thoughtfully - enough for these beautifully true words. Man, Reddit is wild.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 10:05 AM
3

Yes. I guess I wrote this post believing I wasn’t somehow missing something about my growth as a partner. What I’m actually learning is that I should’ve been more selfish. That seems counter intuitive in a relationship. But that’s honestly my takeaway. Had I been more firm and told her no more often or sooner- I don’t think she’d have stayed. She would have just left sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 10:02 AM
2

Thank you. I’m honestly moved here. I’ve been skeptical and unwilling to believe that I wasn’t somehow the monster in this. That I must’ve pushed her away. That was kind of the pattern she made me believe I was guilty of. That I was actually the bad guy for wanting to love and help her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 10:00 AM
2

Holy smokes. Thank you for this validation.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 09:58 AM
1

Some of the best advice I’ve heard is to love my sons more than I hate my ex. For me that meant getting a gift from the boys for their mother. My boys are mad at their mom for leaving and we’re all hurt and confused. I hope when they normalize relations with their mother or start dating themselves they’ll understand how to treat another human -even after a tough breakup or divorce. Or if they disagree with how that person lives their life. Maybe not a popular response here but it works for me an…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 06:14 PM
5

Yes, 100%. My ex is gifting her avoidant and anxious attachment style to our sons now. Same way she got it from her mother.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 05:08 PM
4

Am I the cliché? Were my ex and I the cliché or is she? I guess all of the above.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 04:08 PM
1

Yes, in hindsight I can see it all plain as day. The Black Keys have a song, “My next girl won’t be anything like my ex girl.” I’m visiting this thread for reminders of what part I played and how I can avoid repeating the same pattern. - that and therapy, ha!
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 10:11 AM
2

I’m sorry, Friend. I’m grateful mine was a class act on her way out the door.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 10:10 AM
2

Billy Shakespeare: Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I get that and I appreciate all the mini relationships we enjoyed during our longer time together. Lots of firsts and they were great. Just taking time to process that it’s over.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 10:09 AM
7

I like this, thank you. I’m owning my part. I recognize that I was getting something out of a lopsided relationship and enabled a lot of selfish behavior because I enjoyed being the good guy- a safe harbor. I liked feeling valuable and helpful. I’m already learning how to say, “no”. And how to establish gentle boundaries for my mental and emotional health. It still hurts. I appreciate you taking the time to read my long post and offer a thoughtful reply.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 10:07 AM
3

She started as a Beach Body Coach and Les Mills BodyPump instructor at our YMCA on the side. Shes always been into health and fitness. A marathoner. She followed the MLM to coaching pipeline like so many other educated, middle class mothers. Can’t wait to see our story on a 3-part Netflix doc like the one they did on LuLaRoe.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 09:53 PM
19

My wife of 17 years left me this January. We had been a couple for 24.5 years. Our kids are 12 & 14. We had no drama. No infidelity. No falling out. She had what I’d consider a crisis and quit her job to become a life coach. In hindsight she’d been avoidant and restless for a long time. But I agree once the kids demanded less and less of her the pressure she must have felt increased until she walked away- to find herself. She said she didn’t want to work on the part of herself she knows she’d ne…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 12:45 PM
1

Some days are like that. Brick by brick we rebuild. Even if we’re ripped down to the studs, a ruined foundation. Brick by brick we rebuild. It won’t always be easy. It won’t always be straightforward. And we are most often the one in our own way. Music helps me. Just classical. Never listened to it before my divorce started. Get out of your head. We have to love ourselves first.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 08:40 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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