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View 1 post and 114 comments by shapelessdreams on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

SEEKING ADVICEshapelessdreams/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 03:00 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
37

This is great advice. A vibrator, your own savings and hobbies you can be proud of are way better than chasing after men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:34 PM
2

When men show us who they are, believe them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 02:13 AM
4

I just wrote a long comment and my phone died as I was about to hit send 😖 I’ll respond with a complete answer after work along with some sources and readings. However, many of these observations come from working at an organization that helps Sex Workers, working in homeless LGBTQ+ advocacy and particularly doing street outreach to vulnerable populations, informing them of their rights and providing tools for them to get organized and advocate for their wellbeing (finding housing, food, exiting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:27 AM
15

Every time a man has asked me this question I just reply “nothing”, while continuing to eat my food in silence. As soon as I’m home it’s block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 08:00 AM
12

I’m more interested in how FDS can be a catalyst for ACTIVE strategies to support women and create a model that serves us. Not tricks, not police and not the industry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:36 PM
19

Not what I said. I said to not criminalize them and put them in further harms way. 40% of poice officers have committed DV or abuse. I don’t think they are the solution. I think as feminists we can work to provide community transition groups, shelters and organizations to provide the SWers unmet needs. If you’re serious about ending sex work you need to address the conditions that make it so that women enter the industry aka poverty, policing of marginalized groups, DV, being relegated to care w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:29 PM
7

I do want to point out though that the Nordic model is extremely harmful mostly to low-income sex workers. Decrim is best because it gives sex workers options to be able to leave without reliance on police or vice squad, which are often perpetrators of abuse, rape and harm within the industry. They won't have a record with police that could prevent them from other careers and they would have more control over their work. I am not pro sex industry, I just speak from experience and research by/fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:44 PM
11

A PhD is HUGE, and way more important of an accomplishment than dating. That's the shit that gets me every time, how we are taught to downplay our accomplishments in favour of romantic relationships. Like why the fuck is getting married more exciting to some of my relatives than getting a degree and a good job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:35 PM
2

Thank you so much for such a comprehensive list <3 seriously. I can't believe I didn't know about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 04:19 AM
2

Ah, could you please link me (either in comments or PM), I'd love to know more about this! I think it would really help my confidence when riding!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:15 AM
2

Hell yeah! As a non white person, I get so stoked when I see other WOC ride. I have some potentially degenerative disability issues, so I plan on riding now while I still can!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 10:17 PM
3

So badass. I signed up for classes to get my license and I’m SO excited. My favourite aunt who got divorced from my uncle some 10 years ago inspired me after renewing her license and buying Harley at 50. This was after hanging up her helmet for 25 years. We LOVE to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:39 PM
79

The proliferation of incels and their ideology is no mistake. Keeps men agressive, on edge, and ready to defend their ego. Women and LGBTQ become the focus of their violence because we threaten the relationship model and ways of relating to each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:20 PM
170

You described it perfectly. Toxic masculinity is a self made prison. Yet somehow, this too is our fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 02:59 PM
38

Torture porn has existed since the 90\s but yeah I understand from your perspective how it can be difficult for women in non 1st world countries. Tbf men of all countries/ages are trash. In terms of women betraying each other due to internalized misogyny it’s kind of hard to see how it’ll play out for my generation. I can def see it didn’t work out for the women before me. As a 2nd gen, I feel like women are learning to stick together more- esp WOC, but yes there’s lots of room for improvement i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:14 AM
52

I’m gen z and I kind of disagree, if only for the fact that many women and girls I know are able to have access to this knowledge much early on because of the sharing on socials. I don’t think the level of social media is good for ANYONE. However, at least they’re reading Bell Hooks at 15 and not 18. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 05:33 AM
10

Yeah I came to this sad realization a couple of years ago. Outside of LGBTQ circles I don’t really hang with men. They’re usually just looking to either fuck you or to have a “listening ear” aka to become their emotional labour mule so that they can level up and leave you in the dust after you helped them become better. I am not a build-a-boy workshop- they can go talk to their emotionally unavailable friends and cry about it alone. Time and time again the Oedipus complex is proved right. All me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:42 AM
86

If a man has to trash talk his romantic partner because he’s afraid of being honest with his friends (or being seen as a simp) he’s a NVM and needs to grow tf up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 07:11 AM
1

I see it as a red flag as I live in a big city. Otherwise I think it’s polite to get me an cab home or send an Uber/walk me to the nearest subway station to my house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:47 PM
3

I agree 😂, but doesn’t change the fact that it’s one of the more popular data collect- I mean, “social media” sites out here. Most tech companies are rarely reinvent the wheel. It definitely has one of the ugliest UIs tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:07 PM
35

I thought big tech only hired those with exceptional grades and Ivy League schooling...now I find out they don’t do a basic fucking background search before sending out a job offer. “Tech companies have a high recruitment standards” is such bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:34 AM
9

I mean Diana was privileged and white but that wasn’t the reason for her death. Her death was caused by patriarchy. Meghan’s experience was bc of misogynoir aka the unique positionality is being both Black and a woman. She too, almost died and downplaying her suicidal episode is not the hot take you think it is, and neither is your whataboutism. I hope you make peace with your bitterness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 03:02 AM
18

I’m a Black biracial woman. She may be racially ambiguous but she very clearly is half Black. Regardless of how you feel about her, she has clearly faced anti Black racism in both media and within the royal family. I don’t know why you feel the need to erase this woman’s identity and minimize what she went through. If she was white, none of these things would have happened to her, period. There can be discussions on the role colourism plays in Meghan’s upward mobility, but those are discussions …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:37 PM
37

She’s Black and biracial, one can be both lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:02 PM
11

It absolutely makes them a LVM to ask that question. Read the handbook. Any man with a shred of decency and respect would refrain from asking that question. Many sexist behaviours have become (and are) “normal”. Does that mean that we should accept it? Especially from a man who is supposed to be our better half? We don’t let men move goalposts on us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:35 PM
33

I have literally gotten up from a date after finishing my drink or appetizer and excused myself, then walked away. Once there’s any whisper of 50/50, it’s over for me. The date has now become a business transaction and I am no longer negotiating or interested in the deal at hand. 😴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:29 PM
11

Same here. I’m a queer femme and I don’t feel ostracized here at all. We are a welcoming community to ALL women, including trans women and non-binary femmes who (surprise surprise /s) also face violence at the hands of patriarchy. Having a safe space to get real is needed. FDS and Female Level Up Strategy are needed by our community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 09:59 PM
20

What kills me is that most of the time these women are actually quite smart but men believe they are "simple" because they prefer a life of homemaking, being cheerful and centering their life around family values. Being able to understand the emotional nuances of people, what it takes to raise people with integrity and values, as well as build a generational legacy that people can be proud of for years to come is an intellectual pursuit imo. When these men avoid spending time with their wives, t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 03:02 AM
15

I'm actually shook. Being a fucking surgical doctor and chemical engineer are some of the most high stakes professions out here. I have to laugh at the fact that men who spend all day learning and implementing someone else's code with no life/death stakes would call an OBGYN SOFT STEM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:52 AM
31

I feel like I’m truly living in the sunken place. 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 09:37 PM
1

Yes!!! It’s so damaging to a child’s psyche. My white family can be really racist sometimes and it’s honestly frustrating to be the only person calling it out and having to bear the brunt of that labour, while my pickmeisha white mom sat silently. It’s also weird to have blood relations that hate your guts simply because of your skin colour. There is no way to demonstrate HV to a child in an environment that encourages self hate and self silencing. Far as I’m concerned those people will never be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:12 AM
1

You need to leave his ass. He can’t even go outside with you. That’s pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 09:01 AM
8

Until my mom divorced my step father, we used to actually celebrate “football Sundays” even though neither of us liked football. What a waste of her time, she used to go out of her way to make food, invite his friends and their wives (who all did the same thing). It was so sad to watch all these women go out of their way to cater to these men while none of the men would go out of their way to schedule a weekly group activity for their wives and take care of cooking and cleaning. It’s actually in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:58 AM
1

All facts, no printer!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:52 AM
1

I promise you workaholic men do this with work too. Avoid at all costs. They see their life as separate from yours and that your time is theirs to abuse, but you’re not owed an hour of their day or an ounce of respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:48 AM
11

84.4 percent of Black mothers were primary, sole, or co-breadwinners (Center for American Progress, 2017) The gravity of this statistic cannot be ignored. I am not interested in becoming a part of it. It’s all or nothing, because the odds are not in our favour. I will gladly keep the money for myself, and would rather raise a child on my own. I can deal with the Black single mom stigma, but I won’t deal with having to raise a man child alongside my child. At least as a single mom I can wipe my t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:27 AM
9

This is all facts sis. They really hate Black women which is why there’s so much interracial propaganda of Black Men / White women and colourism in our communities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:05 AM
35

Same here. The one time a dude who I was dating yelled at me (at his father’s wedding weekend no less-), I made his friend drive me all the way home, which was 14 hours away. I broke up right then and there- and made him get his shit from my house a week later. That was the first and last time a partner would ever yell at me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:37 AM
18

His ex gf Janice came out and said that he called the cops on her for a “wellness check” against her wishes when they were dating and having a crisis. How a leftist could even do that rather than supporting her or perusing any number of non carceral options is beyond me. Definitely a LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:31 AM
3

I think u/Salt_Satisfaction expressed that a good point that there needs to be careful attention towards cultivating good relationships between parent/child. Otherwise pursuing therapy or a strong mentorship with other women if their daughter is feeling alienated. I think if I had an outlet to express my emotions and felt heard, I would have not entered that type of situation. So yes, to me, if my parents had actually sent me to therapy and set boundaries, I think I would've been able to eventua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 01:52 AM
3

This is such a great comment and spot on. I happened to fall into the first category and I'm happy I got out as early as I did, that it only lasted a year and a half. It's SO important to develop a good relationship with your daughters or for young women to have a solid set of women mentors around them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 01:44 AM
10

Yes. It’s a matter of safety! That’s what baffles me about “accepting” parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 06:10 PM
31

I guess I didn’t directly answer your question- more than I did rant about patriarchy enabling evil 🤷🏽‍♀️. I like to think I was a pretty smart teenager, I actually found older men repulsive and yet I ended up in that situation. He didn’t look a day over 25 (and obviously acted like it too, lol). I wish I could better articulate- but it seems it just brings up a lot of feelings of resentment for me. When I came out as queer, I saw many gay relationships with huge age gaps which really made me re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 10:54 AM
112

There’s no specific behaviours that I could pinpoint, after years of therapy that caused me to gravitate towards him. It’s moreso a question of what prevented me from leaving. Many of these signs of abuse are well documented in the FDS handbook: gaslighting, negging, lovebombing, etc). In my case- the older man in question had a good job, was well liked and had never dated anyone younger than 30. Everyone was either “accepting” or shamed me for being in this situation. It’s curious how people’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 10:46 AM
52

EDIT: I wrote a lot so TL;DR Madonna/whore complex creates a society that encourages men to rape via coercion and uninformed consent. People encourage it or don’t give a fuck. To answer your question: I didn’t “gravitated” to them. I was groomed by a predator, repeatedly. Because patriarchy is so ingrained in society, people let it happen. I find the narrative of some attraction or uncontrollable lust to be deceptively victim blame-y and places the onus on a teenager, who again in my opinion, ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 10:10 AM
288

I was in one of these relationships before. He is a predator. These parents need to put her in therapy and get a restraining order against him + expose him. I only wish my parents fought hard enough for me even if I was dead set on the relationship instead of letting me pull away and having to suffer abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 09:01 AM
7

Every time I hear about men's opinions on FDS, I am reminded of this video: https://twitter.com/gay_reactions/status/1227622155694661632
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 03:16 AM
9

Yay! Best of luck queen. Queer women are so much nicer to be around and share space with. I’ve learned a lot about care, community and even love. We’ve been meeting on Zoom and it’s pretty great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:25 PM
21

It’s difficult since queer women usually meet IRL. My advice would be to find a queer or queer fem group of an activity you like. For instance, I’m part of a queer book club. I get to make new friends that have the potential to turn into something further if I was interested. Most women are polite so if you get rejected, it isn’t weird or anything, it’s just no hard feelings. I know some women who got together this way in the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:03 PM
1

Oof I’ve been there and it sucks. I hurt a non binary person I loved because I was used to operating so ruthlessly with men. I just hope going forward I can be more gentle with myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 10:02 AM
3

Period. It’s an excuse to save their own money on the side and exert financial control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 10:00 PM
98

Women make anywhere between 60-75. cents to a man’s dollar (in America). Men expect women to work full time and anticipate all emotional needs + potential childcare burdens (+ other invisible labour). Yet Pickmeishas and LVM still advocate for that 50/50 lifestyle. Sounds like a foolish idea to me. They can hate on me all they want. At least my partnership needs are grounded in logic. “Compromise” won’t redistribute a women’s fair share in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:20 PM
5

Yup. My rule is if I don’t feel I could bring him home to my grandmother then he’s immediately blocked and deleted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:07 PM
156

My grandmother is the BEST lady ever. I can’t date anyone who won’t hang out with us as a family, it’s a big red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 07:46 PM
21

Second this. It has helped me sleep so much and has helped with needing sensory “touch” stimuli
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:24 PM
14

This may sound strange but a weighted blanket has done wonders for me on this front.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:24 PM
11

There is a reason why many men tend to leave their girlfriends or wives after she gets diagnosed with a disability or mental illness, and why women are expected to care for the men or walk on eggshells for them. On a personal note, I went undiagnosed for years because of “masking”. Women tend to be exceptionally good at this since we’re taught to anticipate needs from birth. It was only because of women doctors did it get caught. Male psychiatrists will blame it on depression because they don’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:46 AM
12

Boils down to the fact that women with autism and ADHD don’t use it as an excuse the way men do. Modern psychiatry builds excuses into the diagnostics which is why women are under diagnosed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 04:32 AM
5

Lol my cousin made a joke about this when he got underwear for Christmas and everyone laughed as if it was normal. He’s still trying...and failing to find a gf. So gross. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 04:29 AM
3

I find social media awful so unless people using it to connect with family, I’m not interested in a man who has many profiles or is an Internet personality. Linkedin is acceptable to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 04:20 AM
5

Don’t do it. Find a hobby that is not giving men your time for free. ✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:54 PM
2

I find it helpful to do phone interviews or emails to ask about their practice. Also don’t be afraid to fire your therapist after a session or two if they aren’t giving you the help you need or you don’t feel comfortable. I did over 10 phone interviews/consults and sent over 30 emails before finding the right therapist. Before him, I had two in person therapists that really disappointed me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 02:30 AM
26

Nah sis, get you a therapist who advocates for the block button or least knows when to not advocate for me ReCoNNeCtinG when I’m fragile to trauma. A good therapist will at least discuss best way to assess red flags and create strong boundaries/plan b before cosigning contact with someone who hurt you deeply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:12 AM
5

Sounds like my NVM stepfather. I’m so glad my mom got a divorce but she waited until he cheated and she broke down to do it. Better late than never I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 09:12 PM
16

I have had this experience. These men are 100% using you for sex if that’s the case. I’m (and you too, are) a fucking Goddess. If I give energy and they repeatedly turn me down or need me to pretend like it was their idea, 99% of the time it’s going to be disappointed. I usually leave if it happens repeatedly without explanation. I will not bang on command lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:01 AM
48

I actually do just that. I keep track of every time he spends on me vs how much I spend on him (including $$ for looks, nails etc). Not in the dating game rn but it gives major perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:45 AM
4

Text isn't showing up but yes sis I agree with you. I don't lift a mf finger for these dudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 01:21 AM
8

No problem. The LGBTQ community still has a long way to go in terms of internalized misogyny. There’s a lot of coddling of LGBTQ men and making so much space for them within our movement, to the detriment and violence of women and non binary people. Of course things are changing, as our community tends to be more open to change, but old habits die hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 06:05 AM
27

LVW can be lesbians. Just because they’re gay doesn’t mean they’ve worked on the internalized misogyny unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:56 AM
1

I agree with you. I just think that people who tend to be into introverted hobbies can sometimes be compulsive/obsessive with them, even picking it up as an adult. I don’t know why, but men who have introverted or “nerdy” tendencies often use their “passion” as an excuse. I think there’s room for healthy engagement, I just think that the addictive behavioural UI makes it hard for men who tend to have poor impulse control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 08:59 PM
3

My stepfather was like this. He couldn’t wait to get home and play video games when we spent time with the extended family during the holidays. He ended up cheating on her with his co-worker, after 10+ years of marriage to my mom. I guess it’s the only time he was actually forced to interact with a woman. She was devastated but I was honestly so glad that he became someone else’s problem. It was fucking weird to have a disconnected manchild as a stepfather. I don’t keep a console in my house for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:52 PM
1

Are you me? 😂 I actually did something similar when I was killing time on the Stats Canada website and got something similar to you (like 2.04% of the population or something). Disappointing but not surprising considering the way men are babied here. We just gotta keep doing our thing. I accepted that if a HVM (or HVW) comes into my life, that’s great. But if it doesn’t happen, c’est la vie. I occasionally go on dates (with a carefully curated list) when I feel like having a side of conversation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:30 AM
11

When shit like this used to happen to me at work, I’d do the writing and send it directly to my boss so he couldn’t pass it off as his own. I also keep track of every time he asked me to do work for him in writing. If he asked me about it in person, I’d tell him to email me his request of exactly what he needs help with or I’d “forget”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 08:48 AM
3

Same sis. Glad we’re here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:02 AM
14

I agree with this. Super informative post. Should go under the OLD section of the handbook to get an idea of how bad it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 11:50 PM
11

Same here girl! This is the type of stuff I plan on programming during my CS degree lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 11:49 PM
6

Thanks girl! You too. Also, re: Accutane. It’s so brutal and a major self esteem killer. I literally douse myself in aquaphor daily, so I’m glad to know it gets better. I can’t wait for it to finish. I know the results will be fire and in the end it’s better to do it in a pandemic when we’re inside 24/7.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 10:21 AM
4

Get a therapist if possible or attend some Codependency Anonymous meetings. I was in the same boat two years ago. It’s normal to mourn but you need to find a way to bring back up your self esteem and learn to love your own company. I love being alone now, and take joy in the things I’m able to experience by myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 09:52 AM
6

Two or three is one too many. Narcs are dangerous af. Get the divorce papers ready.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 09:46 AM
15

Block and delete. Fuck that energy sis, he’s a negging LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 09:44 AM
12

Me after I finish this round of accutane and winter fitness 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:32 AM
16

This is not talked enough about. It’s seriously frightening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 08:33 AM
7

Facts. Victim blaming is not a queen mentality. If you ain't got nothing constructive to say or advice don't say it. I'm not saying we need to hand hold everyone, but pointing out the oasis and leading someone to the water is two different things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:07 PM
36

He also advertised his wife’s yeast infections to the world on Twitter when the WAP song came out because he didn’t believe that women get wet when aroused...it was very telling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:05 AM
50

Any time a man talks about dominance it’s a red flag. If you need to tell me you’re in charge you’re not dominant. End of story. These dudes are just looking for excuses to assault women imo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 07:18 AM
17

Yes. They have borderline compulsive and obsessive fantasies and are highly controlling. It’s fucking weird and feels awful when they’re trying to gaslight you by saying that you’re empowered all while topping from the bottom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 07:15 AM
29

This. Former femdom here. I still consider myself a dominant woman and I abhor submissive men. Once I realized what a cesspool it all was and how little they cared for what I wanted, I dipped. For me the role was never a sexual one and many of them couldn’t take that. It was always about power dynamic, not sex. I never wanted to give them any sexual pleasure or aftercare, and they vilified me, including a lot of pickmeisha “dommes” which was weird because who gives af about a man’s feelings. As …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 07:14 AM
2

Remember Queen don’t let these men live rent free in your head!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:52 PM
4

My old friends used to get mad because I ignored literally every and any man that is not paying my bills. No eye contact, no acknowledgement. If I want to speak to you, I will reach out. I don’t care if they need directions or if they’re collapsed on the floor. All those men who fancy themselves as heroes can come to their rescue. As for texting, I’ve just stopped replying because I have no intention of interacting with men I had romantic interactions with until Covid is over. I truly believe it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:41 AM
5

Don’t really understand why you’re pressed to defend age gaps. Even at 30 I don’t think dating someone over 40 is a good idea. You still have a good 30+ of a career left and the dude is on the decline.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:38 AM
13

Happened to me. Goes to show you the insane cultural misogyny at work. In hindsight I am in disbelief of my family. There’s a reason I’m limited contact. Anyone who lets that happen without taking their daughter aside to have a conversation (or actively discouraging his presence to make it clear he is beneath her), doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:30 AM
19

Yeah but they will traumatize the fuck out of you before you see a cent of that money. It’s classic carrot on a stick method. Don’t fall for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:27 AM
18

Yup. These people are predators, plain and simple. I dated people in their late 20s early 30s from 18-20. Some of them look great on paper, high net worth and all that. No one said anything and which has still got me fucked up. Cut those people off and never look back. It’s never worth it. Far as I’m concerned they’re just as trash as Epstein
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:23 AM
9

Yeah, this year really made me 100% over men and anything to do with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 12:52 AM
6

I just want these women to be able to do their work safely, because a large majority do not really have much choice (capitalism and often times racism) and be able to access worker protections as well as legal recourse for violence and harm. As it stands most SW is illegal and therefore means that women are at increase risk of harm, from both clients and police. The cops are not protecting these women, using undercover stings as an excuse to rape them and and these johns still get away with so m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 05:28 AM
4

This right here. I don’t think a shame campaign is useful. I think advocating for women to have better access to healthcare, safety and housing is the answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 04:53 AM
6

FDS handbook will help. Also r/levelupstrategy Never forget, life is a learning process! This community is so supportive. Even though we may seem blunt or tough at times, we are just trying to cut through the immense amount of BS that we’re indoctrinated with and cultivate our own sense of worth and happiness. We can only get better by recognizing our value and rising to meet it. Best of luck on your journey queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 09:21 AM
11

Yeah, calling women and girls females is very derogatory. Perhaps the way you talk about women might be the reason why you can’t make friends with them. I’d personally be off put by someone speaking that way about women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:17 AM
9

I have had male friends like this. Mostly likely they are preying on your niceness, talents or hoping to ride on your accomplishments. 110% of the time you’re only there to make them appear as HVM. It’s a faux-feminist circle jerk for them. These men can often be found in arts and progressivist circles. All former male friends eventually stopped reaching out when they realized they couldn’t emotionally rely on me and use me as a practice ground for learning how to be a better person and communic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:13 AM
6

Exactly. If he’s not as dedicated to the level up and relationship, in the bin he goes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 10:50 PM
6

Would def love to hear you share how you managed adhd with your level up! I also struggle with ADHD and having that perspective always helps!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:01 PM
44

I needed to hear this. Thank you. Since FDS I have decided to refocus all that love and care onto myself, my friends and the older women in my life who cared for me. The people who truly deserve my love would never make it hurt to love strongly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:00 AM
4

Yes. They are all power hungry. They thing equal society = no accountability for my actions and manipulate the work women put into movements for their own gain. I avoid them as much as possible. A man must be measured by his actions not his words and the way he behaves towards people in his personal life is almost always indicative of his true nature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:50 PM
4

Clean fingernails and feet that are properly cared for. I HATE douche-y haircuts, like the sides shaved with the long piece or man bun on top. Large bad tattoos are a HUGE turn off. My ex had a giant peace sign tattooed on his ribs it was massive, and stupid. Men who are whiners not fixers. If I tell you about a problem and your reaction is not to find a way to fix it or the situation, I’m out. If I want to commiserate about something I have friends for that. Uneducated or unintelligent men. Zer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:58 PM
4

Even the “ugliest” woman would still prettier than the average man so tbh I don’t listen what these dudes have to say in the slightest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:37 PM
5

Ugh those anarchist guys are the WORST. As a politically engaged woman I will never date a man who is involved in any type of politics. They’re usually so misogynist. Also if he was a real communist/anarchist, he’d be helping out because it’s about making up for the exploited capital of women and marginalized people. He would’ve been out there fighting for your rights, and puttin his degree to work so that you’re comfortable. What a fucking waste of space and a sorry excuse for an activist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:06 PM
9

Not even SWers are asking for legalization. They’re asking for decrim. Two different things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:18 AM
6

Thank you for saying this. You articulated what I wanted to say waaaaay better than I could. In both cases there are stigmatized and exposed to extreme levels of financial, physical and mental violence. Men suck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:15 AM
11

I would like to say that many police in America are actively engaged in assaulting and coercing Sex Workers, both on and off the record. The woman on the right may be in the west but she’s still susceptible to extreme amounts of violence. The tunnel vision of social media makes us think that the happy hooker is the main western narrative when it’s really not. Most have just scraped by, have had extremely negative experiences with LE and the like. They are ostracized and usually have very little …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:14 AM
8

I always tell men that coffee dates or going out for drinks are for business proposals, not for dates. It seems to work, they either step up or step out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:03 AM
18

I apply FDS principles to my FWB (going on two years, is very occasional lol). My current FWB always takes me to dinner, treats me with respect, pays any and all bills when we are together, there is no pressure for sex and everything is on my terms. He checks in but there is not expectation of a response because he understands that this relationship is on my time, not his. The boundaries are clear and I have no problems cutting him off even though we have a certain attachment, because I value my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:43 AM
3

Yes, hit the head on the nail. Though I’ll be totally honest, men with high-level careers and/or serious finances are non negotiable in terms of what I require of a man, regardless of where I happen to be in my life financially. But those flags I cannot ignore so I am cutting my losses. He’ll probably be relegated to the rare instances I require a bootycall. It’s not like I can’t just text him back whenever, it doesn’t get any better than me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 07:19 AM
2

I figured he’d get back to me if he was really about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 06:35 PM
2

I pretty much figured it out and did just that haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 06:33 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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