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softrevolution_ Archive

View 0 posts and 614 comments by softrevolution_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I mean, this couldn't possibly be incentive for men to reconsider their anti-college stance or anything, unless you like having undereducated women to choose from
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 05:07 PM
3

so, what you're saying is that the people in your grad program intend to be fully employed/employable adults themselves? well, that's a better-case scenario than I was imagining (people getting degrees that they intend to parlay into a romantasy writing career on some finance bro's dime)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 05:05 PM
3

How many of them are intending to teach in some capacity?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 03:41 AM
2

it's because public health is fucking important in terms of keeping countries alive and well
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 03:40 AM
1

The number of upper-middle class people I grew up with who thought it was quite the brag to have a passport, goodness... and there I was, having had one since I was two. Related: the number of classmates bragging in high school about their trips to Ibiza and I was sitting there thinking "oh yes, that was a fun family vacation when I was three!"
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 11:28 PM
1

I am vastly amused that you think public health doesn't require specialized scientific knowledge. Do you genuinely class it with underwater basket-weaving, or do you not know anything about people working in public health?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 11:26 PM
1

...so, in countries outside the US, "WC" is generally the word denoting the bathroom
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 11:21 PM
1

Well, sir, it stands to reason that there are college grad women who aren't married, then. There are indeed very few college grad men left over after the college grad women have married them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 11:20 PM
3

*sleep through
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 11:12 PM
2

That's a giant divide, for me. The tech-educated men struggle to understand fundamental things about my worldview, or grasp the grey areas that I live and work in. The humanities-educated men are more likely to have enough in common with me that our differences can be got past.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 11:11 PM
3

What grad program? That will say a lot about the kind of people you're encountering. Bet it's not, like, social work.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 11:09 PM
1

Some women choose to put themselves in terrible situations. That doesn't mean I'm obliged to cheer them on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:33 PM
-2

I'm not any kind of mom. I've just dealt with a lot of Peter Pan syndrome. Now I only date fully grown men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:13 AM
-1

Her best option, wait for it, is probably a sex toy. Don't know why she should be gagging for manchild cock.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 02:44 AM
-2

She has an extra kid now! That's nothing but a drain on her.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 02:17 AM
2

Hey, you wrote it, I read it
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 02:05 AM
7

You're talking like you want a mommy, not a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:50 AM
1

Blue pill men are some of the worst offenders... and, arguably, just as pickme as the women who do the things that make women look stupid. They seriously think defending a woman's right to be toxic will get them laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:22 AM
3

omfg that last paragraph... give me 20 minutes and I'm good
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:20 AM
2

Oh, I'll go there and call it a bad behavior that women absolutely have to unlearn if we want to be able to look ourselves in the mirror. Not every female choice is a feminist choice, and most bear serious examination if they line up with trad desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:19 AM
9

Hey, we can all go home now, you use "gay" as a pejorative. Now we know exactly how much stock to put in your opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:13 AM
3

I consider myself relatively low libido and acespec and still have a good vibrator sesh at least once a week. The Victorians were not wrong when they accidentally taught us that orgasms make us healthier.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:11 AM
6

Chafing? Less sex drive than yours? A life outside of your bed?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:10 AM
17

You want a mom. They're socially conditioned to mother you. It's a match made in hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:59 AM
9

You're not. Let's be weird about this together.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:49 PM
1

Sure they do... but you lumped relationships/marriage in there. Which was naive of you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 08:39 PM
1

How many women who haven't pursued parenthood until fifty actually turn out to want it, though?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 08:20 PM
1

You don't seem to respect me much. You don't have to, but if you're going to talk about people respecting me, it's a bit rich, the way you're acting. As to "people who deserve it", I leave that in God's hands and do what I can to alleviate the suffering and pain I see.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 08:18 PM
0

Relationships and marriage are still plenty possible after 40. Women who panic in their 30s are panicking for no good reason. The kids thing maybe -- but freeze your eggs if that's a worry.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 04:34 PM
1

Concept: life doesn't end at forty
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 04:21 PM
3

Don't pretend like this sub isn't a circlejerk for disenchanted people.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 04:20 PM
2

You're seriously going to explain my life philosophy to me? Come on, fuck off with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 04:11 PM
2

Yo, it might be on you to ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 04:11 PM
3

Not contradicting that they can fuck and date who they please. Merely saying that you can't have your trad cake and eat your feminism, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 01:40 AM
4

You begin to turn manosphere bots back into humans when you look for their humanity. This is how I heal the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 01:32 AM
4

Okay. Well, you're being lied to. Traditional gender norms are sexist. To all genders. And they hurt all genders, too. Men can experience domestic abuse in the form of battering as well as women. I've had clients who were survivors. It is real. I see you. I acknowledge you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 12:38 AM
-1

That's asinine on women's part. When you pay your own way, there's no covert contract that you will be/act a certain way to please your date.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 11:17 PM
0

It's 2026. Women should be accustomed to paying our own way. We asked for these rights, with rights come responsibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 11:13 PM
1

The women in my family tend to have backbone and bite. The ones living in Germany, or the ones who found their spouses in Germany (see: Mum) are happily partnered and able to continue being themselves. So far, America has been hell. The second you're spicier than a tater tot casserole, something's wrong with you. So I need to know: where did your SO grow up? :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 10:23 PM
0

Have you considered that a woman making you pay for her share of a date -- when you do not want to -- is just a sex worker by another name? Critically consider whether you want to date people who have the same view of sexuality and relationships as sex workers. Proceed accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 09:39 PM
1

Don't date the women asking you to burn unreasonable amounts of money on them, if you don't want the kind of woman who expects it. Contrary to the screeching of Reddit harridans, coffee dates and walks in the park are fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 09:38 PM
3

Uh... why are people telling you to ignore red flags? -- I suppose I should ask what red flags people are telling you to ignore as well...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 09:36 PM
–

Counterpoint to your counterpoint: "bitter" is the laziest possible insult, because you have no idea if it's true (it isn't about dating at least). I know who I am and I appreciate people who sound like they've taken at least one public speaking class. People who may be familiar with the concept of elocution. People whose vocabularies extend beyond the slang of their own day.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:47 AM
4

Hey, I'm not the one insisting that a blanket population is (X trait). The only thing I can be certain men have in common is that they identify as men. The rest is so individual that generalizing about men is just dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 10:28 PM
5

It's a dealbreaker for me. Don't bring that kind of energy into my life. Be commitment-minded.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 09:46 PM
10

It's also exceedingly weird that it's bad when women do it, but not when men do, but hey! Double standards are sexy!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 09:30 PM
2

I'm trying to make the point that empathy is not "slavery" and trivialises the very real enslavement that has happened throughout history, but I forgot that nuance dies a fiery death in this place
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:51 PM
1

Oh my God, these are relationships, it's not about keeping score.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:24 AM
–

My tastes are definitely more silver fox/middle-aged dad types
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:55 AM
–

He looks like Ross from Friends to me :(
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:50 AM
1

I generally get turned off by universal hotness. I get suspicious: something's too good to be true here. I know what I look like, you know? But unconventional hotness is fucking awesome, too. I've always appreciated a good middle-aged man/silver fox. I like faces with character. Real people looks. Polished Hollywood perfection? Feh. Give me something attainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:28 AM
1

Aw, damn, that's wholesome <3 I genuinely hope I find myself able to rewire my problematic non-attractions. Associative links really are the way. I did not know I went for men with beards until a recent fandom, for example, and now it's like "okay, so some beards ARE sexy"
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 12:28 AM
1

We'd all be better off exercising sexual restraint, IMO
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:49 PM
4

How did you change who you found attractive? And what did you change it to?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:20 PM
3

Stepmoms need that authority, too. Stepmoms need that respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:19 PM
1

I was thinking of history more recent than medieval times, but hey, the Poles have been shat on enough that you get to complain, too. You were thrown into concentration camps, which definitely was not cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:17 PM
1

Expanded reply, not on my phone: I think all of us in the dating world need to understand where our standards are coming from and why we have them. Women should absolutely realize there is no logical reason to prefer taller men who make six figures. And men... bro, when I say I've seen some fatphobic shit, I mean a lot of you tend to consider anything above a size four fat. Which, fine, if you want to self-select out of dating a lot of nice people, you go on and do that, but don't pretend it's f…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:13 PM
0

Not only, but the odds of a PPD member being descended from a less common group are slim
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:09 PM
1

So, yes, I hold fhat same energy for those women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 12:51 PM
1

I realize I'm nonbinary, but the part of me that experiences gender definitely experiences it as female, and I have plenty of empathy for men who are victims of women. Everyone should be extending that basic empathy to their fellow human, until and unless they do something heinous enough to warrant a slap upside the head.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 05:01 AM
2

I literally told you "basic empathy".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:49 AM
4

Stop insulting men, bro, men are capable of compassion and empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:45 AM
3

The real question in all of this :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:44 AM
6

Have you considered that feisty women aren't born, they're made? By attitudes like "hurrrr women should be submissive"? Some women respond by fawning (see OP) but some women fight it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:42 AM
6

It's being cooperative and not a headache. Guess what people of all genders tend to want from their partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:41 AM
1

She definitely does not represent yours. Sadly, I'm still demifemale...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:37 AM
8

Hey, you got what you wanted, according to your post history. You're a happy SAHM. You don't have to make the rest of us conform to what you think is right. You can live and let live. Your value doesn't drop because I'm out here, happily spayed and stubbornly unsubmissive (that doesn't translate to dominant, please note). Unless you're secretly very insecure about what you are/have.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:33 AM
-1

I lost valuable time and brain cells reading that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:28 AM
0

...are you either Irish or Black? Because if you are seriously comparing basic empathy to slavery, and you are neither, I question whether you have the right to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:28 AM
4

Counterpoint: youth is wasted on the young, and they all sound like flaming idiots.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:24 AM
1

150mil worldwide, IIRC. That's a drop in the bucket given, you know, the existence of four billion women. I have never been more fucking glad to be the kind of evolutionary failure that has no drive to reproduce. It means I don't do dumb shit in the name of making babies.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:29 PM
2

Christian Grey is a psychopath. He's not attractive. And I don't think 1mil followers would make a man any more attractive to me than he inherently is, and you know why? I have a value system that's intrinsic to who I am, not what the world thinks of me. I expect the same out of my partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:15 PM
–

What's your investment in being such a goddamn cunt about this?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:11 PM
-2

Lies, damn lies, and statistics. Go. Google it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:08 PM
–

Bitch, I survived that eating disorder you think I don't understand, don't fuck with me on this one
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:06 PM
-2

They can have the women who are dumb enough to think that "being sought after" by itself is a desirable trait. The rest of us need y'all to do more than walk, talk, and fog a got-damn mirror.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:06 PM
12

Have you considered that we'd all be happier if it were, even if it means you don't get your dick wet as easily?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:05 PM
2

That's definitely not true when it comes to me, but hey, whatever floats your boat. Position of status. God, all you really have are elaborate Christian Grey fantasies.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:04 PM
-3

Hey, speak for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:41 PM
17

The guy who talked about men being at Kohlberg's fifth stage of moral development would be very interested in your comment. This is more like stage two: I want it, therefore I'm going to have it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:40 PM
0

And do they live up to similarly high standards? Do they also have to be physically attractive, fit, fertile, not middle-aged, and with a clean behavioral history?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:25 PM
–

Enjoy your anorexia, then. Or your orthorexia, I can't decide which is worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:24 PM
–

There's the faint sensation of "mm, I could've had a couple more bites" and then there's "fuck, that was half of what I needed".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:23 PM
–

What I wouldn't give to hear the rank-and-file Mossad opinion on all this shit. Seems to me a lot more could be accomplished if we just let them do their jobs. Fuckin' world peace, if Mossad were sent to the right places.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:16 PM
–

This isn't normal restriction ("eat to fullness/satiety only, stop when there or just short of there"). This is "stay hungry". That's not just restriction down from a culture of excess, that's ignoring your body's signals that you have not filled the tank.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:13 PM
–

You say harsh truths, I say great ways to throw someone headlong into an eating disorder.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:11 PM
–

Hell yes to my savings queens out there
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:11 PM
1

Well, I can not choose this because I know there are men who like me without it. Signs of aging and all. You have remarkably little faith in your fellow man!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:09 PM
5

Ideally, I would like to see shared dates and no expectations on the woman to look pretty So would I. Piss on the beauty standard, start valuing what's between our ears, and yes, go dutch with us.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:00 PM
3

Social security have women being the biggest benefitiaries while men get to be the ones who pay the most I'd like to see women on average making equal money so we pay equally into SS. I'd like to see men living longer so they get the same years of benefits from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:58 PM
1

Quite a few women spend very high amounts of money on fashion and personal beauty compared to men, which is why they expect men to pay. That is the single dumbest female habit on the books.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:56 PM
1

What are those standards, out of curiosity? My knee-jerk reaction is "yeah, they have to be attractive, fertile, and between 18-24" but I'd like to hope I'm wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:56 PM
–

I’m grateful I could easily build a happy, fulfilling relationship with a wide range of fit, attractive women if I needed to. Are your requirements more than "is attractive enough to keep around for repeated screwing"? Mine are. And I don't consider that wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:52 PM
2

What would your advice be? Serious question.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:50 PM
11

The career may put me out on my ass someday, but I'll have something to show for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:37 PM
7

What's so terrible about feminism in the case of making women equally financially responsible for our lives? Is it because the bangmaid aspect of traditional womanhood goes away for a lot of us?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:35 PM
2

You mistake me for someone who can't look up Kohlberg and pick up what he's putting down. Red pill men, in my experience, are still in stage 2. If they're lucky. Only in the worst, most maliciously compliant sense could most of them be said to be in stage 5 -- the "I will steal this apple because the laws in place are unjust and a man should have access to the food to feed his child". Which is a prettied up kind of self-interest. "Society owes me this apple."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:12 PM
30

I am actively looking forward to turning 40 in a week. Shit's just getting great.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:24 AM
2

Frickin' how?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:23 AM
2

Most red pill men seem never to get past stage 2.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:11 AM
59

My life only got better from thirty-five on. My mental health snapped right into place, I have a stronger sense of self, I'm making real progress on a lot of things that were fucked about me... I even wrote a book in, like, three months. Maybe there's something missing from their lives and they can't be at peace. [shrug] I have family still, and when they go, I'll have kind coworkers and the ability to get off my ass and join a community.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 01:57 AM
3

Get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand/Of someone else's desert/Put it back in its pants/And quit the hypocritical chants of/Freedom forever Ani DiFranco "Self-Evident"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:16 AM
4

Give up because, what, my limited experience of an entire gender hasn't resulted in one worth marrying (or who stuck around long enough to marry me)? a, what makes everyone so sure they're not the common denominator b, limited experience of a gender. There are many, MANY, many fish in that sea.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:12 AM
19

"most people who could be great long-term partners get filtered out early because they don't pass the aesthetic threshold" Work with me, here. What's an aesthetic threshold when it's at home? Is this a skater boy/ballet girl thing or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:06 AM
1

You seem to be observing what a loud minority does, 'cause I ain't never seen this shit offline.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:02 AM
1

I mean. Great if you give a shit whether you're called a pickme or an NLOG, but as a demiwoman I literally am not like other girls, and as for picking me, fuck you, I do the picking
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:01 AM
3

It's a gender war fight club, but it's amusing sometimes, and you can get through to individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 06:08 PM
1

Fucking no. If the sisterhood is being stupid, the sisterhood gets collected and told. What, we can't have our own minds?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 06:06 PM
3

omfg, do you want women to think for ourselves or do you want OP to be right and the ingroup has to go on dominating everything? Pick a lane.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 06:05 PM
6

That goes for all of women's choices, not just the ones that radfems approve of.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 06:04 PM
1

Dissent with the accepted female status quo, you're a cosplayer. Agree with it, it's groupthink. Women are cooked on this sub whether we have our own opinions or don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 06:02 PM
1

I bloody don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 05:59 PM
2

At least it wasn't during?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 04:11 AM
5

I don't lose interest for no good reason. I'll put it that way. And I don't ghost; I wouldn't want it done to me, after all. It's going to be easy for me to answer the second part. There were a couple of hobosexuals, a hoarder, a manchild, someone whose relationship goals actually didn't line up with mine at all, and more than one who put the sexual cart before the relationship horse in a crude way. The hoarder was perfect except for, you know. The hoarding. He was the one who got a second chanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 04:04 AM
1

A good chunk of the problem we have is that women have been trained now to expect men to spend money on them, and men have become embittered about it. And taken it out on women. So, yes, if you want more bitter men and entitled women, keep doing what you're doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:28 PM
–

I'd like to gently point out the classism you're perpetuating here.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 01:56 AM
–

Won't they be in for a shock when I steadfastly refuse
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 01:54 AM
2

Good for them. I don't judge all men by some of the pissers I see here, do women the same courtesy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 08:04 PM
3

I avoid dating people who describe themselves as nobility of any rank, personally...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:44 PM
2

I live in a US city where you can actually be very happy on 60K, if you actually live within your means. This is the trick most Americans haven't picked up yet, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:42 PM
-1

Wait, you're teaching your child to treat dating transactionally? That's a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:39 PM
5

our first two dates were coffee dates, our third was walking her dog on the beach, our fourth was a picnic in the botanical gardens. this sounds like bliss! <3
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:38 PM
3

I would be actively repelled by a man trying to buy my company. That's prostitution. I'm not an escort. Don't act as though I am. I will absolutely suggest coffee dates and pay for my own chai latte.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:37 PM
5

Let's also not decide that all women over 40 date like that. I read their stickied posts, I can't with all that
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:35 PM
–

...where is the debate portion of this post? This is just some guy nattering on about the inferiority of Western women. Is "prove me wrong" implied here?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:22 PM
1

Fair. There are women who don't, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:04 PM
3

I'm not??? What am I ashamed of? Please tell me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:09 PM
1

Nah, bro, I was raised on the Rolling Stones. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:48 PM
3

You don't believe what women say about ourselves, because men know us better. But apparently you don't believe what men say about us, either?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:43 PM
1

Hot take: if you want to be seen as human, lessen what makes you an object. Having sex doesn't make you less human, but it does raise the likelihood that certain men will treat you as a sex object before all else.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:42 PM
5

"I struggle to get to the point of experiencing intimacy with a woman and I don't get why" That's different from "treat me like a human". That's "reward me with sex for attention".
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:35 PM
2

See, the problem is anyone dating Chad, at this point. Chad doesn't sound like the kind of guy who deserves to get his dick wet. Dating Chad is 100% a mistake.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 12:41 AM
2

only to find a guy who will marry you, so now that debt also becomes his problem. If it's any comfort, I've never heard of a divorce wherein a man was ordered to pay 50% of his ex-wife's student loans. Those are pretty clearly hers alone. You can dump her ass with no compunction. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 12:28 AM
-1

With regards to sexual assault statistics, when reporting becomes worth the survivor's while -- when it doesn't result in stigma, when cops are more likely to treat us empathetically, when we stand a decent chance in hell of a jury believing us -- we'll report more.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 11:45 PM
1

You assume they've gotten past their "I can shag anyone I want" phase by then.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 11:06 PM
–

Brother, if he's gay, I'm just gonna smile and nod and let him get on with his business. Ain't no need to be wanted by someone who is clearly not into what I'm serving.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 04:13 PM
–

If you're ignoring me, I'm probably ignoring you? Just a couple of strangers doing their thing, it's no big deal. Some people are introverted.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 04:10 PM
2

Cool! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 01:49 PM
1

So, hypothetical for you with roots in real life: I'm the partner most likely to have the safety awareness, as I was brought up by a veteran, who retired a Sergeant First Class when I was seven. He and his PTSD taught me a lot. Growing up bicultural and bicontinental in the 1990s and early 2000s taught me a LOT. My obsessive love for all things healthcare related taught me the rest. Most people do not think twice about doing Very Stupid Things that will make them sick, put them at risk for other…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 06:14 PM
2

idk, man, the thought of taking a man apart during pegging is pretty damn hot
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:50 PM
3

I'm damn well not a sit-on-my-hands person. If something needs doing, either I'll do it or I'll go find the person who's better at it than I am and [cough] encourage them to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:48 PM
10

And women don't need respect for our own strength and determination? I don't need to be seen as someone capable of making tough calls? If anyone stepped up when my parents had a real crisis, it was my mother and my parents are fine. So... by your metric, female-led relationships are also fine, just as long as someone's leading?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:46 PM
0

My entire field centers around what happens when humans think beyond their lizard brains. We're more than capable of it. My work proves it more often than not. So... you want to give us a better argument than "oop, lizard brains!"?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:42 PM
–

Well, that was condescending as fuck. Want to try again?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:41 PM
3

I have never witnessed one jump start a car, change a tire on a car, etc Those are the jobs your mook does. Do you see Don Corleone jumping his own car?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:32 PM
2

I sense a dropped /s
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:31 PM
4

Do all red pill men treat their wives like particularly stupid teenagers?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:28 PM
–

[thwaps you with the entire fucking Kinsey Report] READ SOMETHING RELEVANT
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 02:50 AM
–

You skipped some of the most important sexologists of the 20th century. I can't take this seriously unless you acknowledge Masters and Johnson and Kinsey.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 02:49 AM
–

I don't know, man seems to make some pretty good points.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 10:25 PM
3

You'll listen to what you're making up in your head about women over actual (albeit genderqueer) women. Got it. 'sall I need to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 10:20 PM
2

His view is accurate. I wouldn't date a man with your viewpoint if he were truly the last possibility in the universe. I'd give my left tit for a safe life partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 08:51 PM
1

That is the legitimate phrase in Commonwealth countries. But fuck, 'murica first!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 08:49 PM
4

No, no, I think the gentleman trying to educate you has it exactly right.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 08:38 PM
1

I dispute "mutually beneficial" given the orgasm gap, but the rest is sound enough. That said, consent issues are still consent issues, and it sounds like a lot of y'all don't understand consent well enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 04:21 PM
1

And if yes is not said, then it's a no, correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 12:23 PM
–

Okay, so we're roughly the same generation. The truth is that Insta is not where people go to be authentic, not like Myspace and Livejournal were. I mean, Insta is where I go to be authentic, but I'm not handing mine out to strangers at dating events; I'm giving them means to actually get in touch with me to talk more, like my Signal username. To me, getting someone's Instagram just means "Go look at this idealised version of my world".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 11:30 PM
–

How old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 11:14 PM
5

I can believe that you find her hot. She is also undeniably talented, and famous. People like that usually get a pass for stepping outside gender norms. Everyday people? We're (not) fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 08:44 PM
3

All you have to do is look around Reddit for men's opinions on women with short hair who speak their minds.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 08:34 PM
1

I think, at the very least, the person who did not want the child should be able to disavow it completely. No paternity/maternity, no rights, no responsibilities. The pregnancy should be able to end and/or the child support should not need to be paid. If you don't consent to parenthood, you shouldn't have to be a parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:56 PM
2

The law has a long way to go before it catches up with the realities of rape, but in this case, your situation -- having impregnated a woman without your consent to do so -- would be analogous with the situation of the woman who was impregnated without her consent and who successfully sued.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:25 PM
4

You can believe and act on what you like. You don't need proof of anything to have the relationships you want. Or the sex you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 06:16 PM
2

Except that in that case you absolutely have been raped.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 06:09 PM
3

Applying science to human relationships often backfires because feelings are notoriously difficult to quantify.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 06:07 PM
3

what kind of people would come here to discuss a topic where 90% of research supposedly says they are wrong? People who question the validity of the research?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:53 PM
–

Please see a professional. Someone has evidently wounded you very badly in the past, and the trauma is seeping out all over the place.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:41 PM
0

I'm not talking about "oh, he didn't want a relationship with me", I'm literally talking about "...shit, did I consent to that?"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:39 PM
1

Those aren't woman-related, those are just how humans tend to behave in loving romantic relationships. Not everything has to be gendered.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:39 PM
0

Lord, that's just foolishness. Definitely not me, sorry to burst your bubble. There are no guarantees in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:14 PM
3

You say concealed contract, I say 2026 expectations around consent. Outside of this sub, consent being sought and enthusiastically given matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:13 PM
3

The insistence by most alphas that women have long hair and be soft, sweet, and nurturing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:11 PM
–

Incomprehensible how, please elaborate
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:10 PM
3

Holy shit, are you absolutely aromantic or something? Because I only date people I like and want to fall in love with. Is this not a thing in your world?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:09 PM
1

So no matter what, it's her fault. He wasn't a bad actor. Are you saying that?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:07 PM
5

It's not always in what's said or unsaid. Sometimes it's in the expectations set before you, and the absolute paralysis that comes from being acted on before you have the chance to say yes or no. People freeze during sex they don't necessarily want, that's a common trauma response.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:06 PM
1

You can't fathom that a person with a vagina would be fine never getting rammed with a dick, as long as the man is still able to enjoy sex: which of us is in greater need of further education here? I am also implying that some acts are universally heinous, not that women are a monolith, and again, if you cannot comprehend that, I don't know what to tell you. As for engaging with my feelings: human relationships are about feelings. It is illogical in the extreme to strip feelings from a discussio…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:03 PM
2

I mean, shitty people tend also to be people who lie and deceive to obtain sex, so...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:43 AM
–

With the caveat that my only feminist stance is "the radical notion that women are people": I'm not mean to my male friends. I love them a great deal. Otherwise they wouldn't be my friends. They're just as awesome as all my other friends. Some are actually dearer to me than women. Gasp.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:39 AM
1

Eh, I think we owe it to ourselves as people to just... stop sleeping with shitty people. Imagine what would happen if we didn't sleep with a person until we were reasonably certain they were worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:35 AM
6

I'm begging women to get off this provider bullshit mindset. It is 2026. We can and should provide for ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:31 AM
2

Just use yer goddamn words. "You're interesting. Let's go for drinks/coffee."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:30 AM
0

They oughta be.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:28 AM
8

Never assume that people who walk away from a sexual encounter feeling used or regretful gave wholehearted enthusiastic consent -- or that it was even sought. Coercion is real, idk what to tell you there.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:27 AM
2

Because sex is an act of mutual love and respect for some of us, and when that's missing, yeah, those of us who think this way will get pissed off.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:26 AM
0

Popping in to say that if he can still orgasm without getting hard, I can absolutely live with him never getting hard if he can also live with that. Women (even weird 65/35 nonbinary women) are not a monolith. As to your other two: holy shit, I think those go for most humans, regardless of gender. A good partner, period, cares about you and doesn't drunkenly beat you. Is the bar in hell for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:23 AM
22

You just gave the most thorough and yet succinct answer to this age-old mecker about "why are women???" I'd drink to that if I drank.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:19 AM
-1

Men defining female nature is rather a bad joke. I'm 35% male and I still don't think I know enough to define what men are.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 05:17 AM
3

Oh, you think relationships are about guarantees? Pull the lever and you get X, Y, and Z? Darlin', welcome to reality! Nothing is guaranteed except death. Also, you're talking to the wrong person about suddenly discovering your man is queer, 'cause I'd be thrilled to death that we could relate to each other as queers rather than pretending to be straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 03:47 AM
5

Ew. No.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 02:41 AM
4

[sigh] None of these things are what women mean when we say "reward", but on some level you must know this. I, in particular, think that the reward is emotional openness, vulnerability without judgment, delighting in each other's bodies forever, dreaming about our future together, lazy days on the sofa just enjoying each other's presence, someone to have your back when the chips are down... I don't want him to pay my fucking bills cos that's prostitution, I don't need him to plan dates FOR me, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 02:39 AM
4

Psychology doesn't go this hard trying to establish detailed norms about How Each Gender Behaves. At least the decent psych material doesn't. There's a lot of shitty pop psychology out there that has done real damage. People who aren't in the field or adjacent really need to stop reading shit y'all don't understand and wouldn't understand without the context that comes with an education in the matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 02:20 AM
6

Since I'm 4'11" and will happily date anyone taller than myself, and actually think the sweet spot is, like, 5'6"-5'9"? Fucking yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 02:18 AM
5

Not at all. I'm literally saying that what one woman wants is... what one woman wants. Like, take OP's examples. I'd like a masculine man for some definition of masculine, but that would require getting us all to agree on a definition. Which is just not happening. I'm fine with him opening up to me and I'll be there for him without getting the ick -- because I don't believe feelings are womanly or some shit, they're just human. It's perfectly valid to express your gender any way you like, but yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 01:29 AM
5

Oh, yes, statistics, so relevant to the nebulous grey area that is human relationships and how we feel. Jesus, d'you ever stop to think that humanity actually can't be quantified?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 01:23 AM
6

Well, I'm definitely not looking for a guy who behaves like a red pilled "alpha". And that's okay: they're not looking for me either unless they're really hard-up. I wear my hair short on purpose and speak my mind. So if the alpha wants to get into a relationship with me, he'll just have to pretend he's a greater beta. Which means sacrificing the "quick fux" (most English speakers spell it "fucks"). I don't want alpha fucks at all. I'm too demi for this shit, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 01:21 AM
13

Another day, another man deciding that women are a monolith. What if, stab in the dark, all of us have different types when it comes to what we want?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 01:17 AM
2

I don't date people I'm not attracted to. People I'm not attracted to are called friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 11:39 PM
3

Deadass wondering how many of these guys are aromantic and unaware
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 11:38 PM
1

For me, it's more like the emotional intimacy that an actual partner can give me. A friend with benefits is just a bro with orgasms; a partner and I can build our future together and grow in the same direction, be disgustingly sweet with each other, be romantic, have long, fond cuddling sessions... not things I would share with an FWB because that blurs the lines. If you're going to do those things, you might as well be my committed partner. Too bad no man will ever know.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 11:37 PM
–

You were the one who implied only lesbians get to have personalities, brother. I cited you. I went to the place you were driving at. There is no discussion of relationship dynamics without feelings. This is all about feelings and how we navigate them. You seem to want to shut down a discussion in which you are being invited to unpack what's behind what you seem to want. It sounded to me like heteronormativity, but if I'm wrong, go on about your queer, non-stereotypical self. Please do. Be differ…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:04 PM
–

I'd say the best advice has come from the agender masc-presenting poster who suggested that you seek out queer/bi men. It sounds like you're just not cut out to be a stereotypical woman, and I'm going to be radical here and say that's okay. You get to be a whole person.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 03:47 PM
–

I question the validity of PPD as an actual debate space, especially since we are more or less exclusively dealing in feelings-based topics. I'm allowed to "feel" how I want about it? How about I'm going to push back on heteronormativity and posit that stereotypical men are only making themselves obsolete by clinging to their need for a woman to be stereotypical as well. It's 2026, most of society is moving on into a place where women and men can do or be whatever the hell we please. Your subset…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 03:46 PM
–

Are there places where nonbinary fem-of-center people are welcome to hang out? Because your experience sounds like bliss. Yes, give me the guys who like their AFAB-shaped people at the very least wearing their hair short and just as fond of masc "going out" outfits as fem ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 03:41 PM
–

I'm happiest in a relationship when I'm not being pushed into femininity. Relating to men like I get to be a whole person, which sadly is not how I've experienced relationships when I've come at them as a woman. Getting to swear and say "bro" and not showing up as the nurturer by default simply because I have a vagina. Getting to decide what sex looks like, not assuming PIV is the main event. Not assuming I'm going to bottom either, just because I don't have a homegrown cock. Thinking of PIV as …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 03:39 PM
–

Bias in what direction? Being tired of men asking me to be less than my whole self in order to appeal to them? Because yeah, I'll own that bias. I want to be a well-rounded, entire human being whose personality doesn't have to revolve around softness and nurture. Some women are more yang than yin. Why can men seemingly not handle this?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 05:14 AM
–

It’s probably a combination of coming across as a lesbian - we can sense energy and unless you’re out here trying to convert we are typically attracted to soft, submissive, compliant and nurturing. You're the one describing two basic types of women: dating material and lesbian. And the one you described as not lesbian happens to also not have much personality of her own.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:23 AM
–

Women who aren't fat, old, or legitimately developmentally disabled, who vaccinate and believe in science and the Holocaust, generally care.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 04:21 AM
–

Hey, some of us like to be men in relationships. Of course, I like being a gay man in my relationships...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 03:49 AM
–

It's 2026 and we're still using the R slur?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 03:46 AM
–

Only if she, you know. Also likes women. I mean, I could fw a butch, but that's because I'm attracted to people who embrace their masculinity more than people of a specific gender, and butches very much do.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 03:42 AM
–

[sigh] all the advice basically boiling down to "make yourself smaller to fit a very specific kind of femininity" OP likes cunt, maybe butches would give her a better experience
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:19 AM
–

TIL: only lesbians get to have personalities :/
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 01:56 AM
2

Thank you <3
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 01:49 AM
2

Thank you. It's not my normal MO and I'm determined that's the last time anyone will ride roughshod over me like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 01:15 AM
0

I did it once, and by "I did it" I mean "I didn't say no but I sure as hell didn't say yes and he didn't ask". I turned my face to the wall afterwards and thought, this shouldn't have happened. I should've just kicked him in the face so I could come out of this disastrous afternoon with some dignity. I wish I had. I was in a headspace like... what do I have to do to make this person happy? So I lay back and let him do as he pleased, too tired and too emotionally numb to say "Get off me". It was …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 11:45 PM
1

Like I said, she's an idiot. He may be happy with it but she's deluded herself in a sad way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 11:10 PM
1

I would rather you tell me that you're not going to put in any effort... so I can go pick a guy who does care how he shows up in the world. I'd rather drive myself. I'm good going dutch. I don't need my ego massaged. I just want someone whose vibe matches mine, and my vibe is "you don't leave the house in fuckin' ripped jeans or grey sweatpants and trainers".
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:21 PM
–

I mean, men who don't want children should get the snip so there's no chance of him accidentally impregnating someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:18 PM
2

I've been on the loose-fitting natural-fiber exercise clothing train for years, and I am not a young/hip lady. :) It's just nicer to sweat into linen and cotton.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:14 PM
1

Is "showing off your body" equal to "not dressing like Billie Eilish"?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:11 PM
–

If we're asking people and not just men, I wanted a hysterectomy in my 20s because a) periods and b) babies. Neither was desired.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 08:05 PM
–

[cough] Jewish God is actually also Christian God, it's just that Christians expanded on the concept a little with the whole Trinity thing
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 06:37 PM
6

Step 4: Realize thay you are not looking for a special person. You have a role that needs filling. You are not looking for love. You are hiring for a position. A position that is critical when it comes to you getting the life you want. How's this mindset working out for you and your wife?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 12:12 AM
–

I'm a reasonable human being who got my sex ed back in the boring 1990s/early 2000s, this is not shit that people I knew were doing. I went to college and didn't hoe it up, I had a six-year LTR directly off the end of my college experience, and after that shitshow I took about a decade off to grow a little bit as a human being. Not all of us feel the need to ride the cock carousel.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 11:15 PM
2

Oh my God, definitely date better women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 01:51 AM
10

You would all have more opportunities if you used words instead of niche catchphrases that look like new names for pathogens.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 12:13 AM
3

Next to top one, except it's not "friends first", it's definitely "we are romantic, there is kissing, we're just waiting until trust and respect for anything definitively sexual."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 12:11 AM
4

I mean, I'd like a man who can talk about culture that isn't pop culture with me, I can always gossip with my sister or my mother. But so many of the men I encounter on the apps are like "thinking? When I don't have to? Next you'll want me to read a book without pictures in it."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 11:22 PM
3

You think you can flip a switch and be gay? HAH. I wish.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 11:20 PM
5

Where are these men -- hell, where are these people? I know exactly 0 of them personally (i.e. as more than a Reddit username).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 08:05 PM
3

See, and that's why your past partners are in the past. Rather than spend the rest of your days nagging them to pull their weight, you ditched them. You are now with a man who is able to maintain basic sanitary conditions.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 08:03 PM
2

Good God, you have watched way too much porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 08:02 PM
5

Spot on. And yeah, nobody loves to be nagged about their tidying.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 04:05 PM
–

Meanwhile, both Ramadan and Lent fall at the same time this year. The Christians and the Muslims can come together in fasting solidarity :D
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 04:02 PM
7

Another one of those ways in which I am definitely not binary because I agree with you. I'm fine with just getting texts and Facebook notifications -- if people actually have the mental space to remember my birthday, because, you know, they have lives of their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 03:42 PM
13

So... let them. Let it slide off you like glass, because when they're throwing tantrums, they are the oldest teenager in the room. "I'm dating/married to an adult man, you can handle your shit" is all that needs to be said. Further rebuttals indicate that this man is obviously not life partner material after all. As for gender expectations... my flair should indicate what exactly I think of those.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 03:40 PM
16

Those of us without partners do take care of our own shit, surprisingly. I don't see why specifically heterosexual partnerships seem to trigger a divide in the labour. Exactly why do women who are with men feel the need to take on these extra tasks? Let them go, let him pick up what you think he drops unless the lights are going to get shut off or one of you really will be driving without car insurance or some shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 03:34 PM
2

Counterpoint: unless he is a true deadbeat, he can make more money. So really, who cares?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:09 PM
–

I put that badly -- the entire conversation basically amounts to "this doesn't look good on anyone". Ergo, it only looks good on a literal clothes hanger.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 02:26 AM
–

Radical idea: if you're having sex you know is going to make you feel hollow, not only stop now, but don't start.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:59 AM
–

You want to look like a human whippet?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:55 AM
–

Wait, Martha Ballard as in the midwife from Maine? If so... wicked :)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:54 AM
–

[reaches for the emesis basin] anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:53 AM
–

TIL: I am secretly an older man
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:47 AM
–

In other words, this was made solely to be displayed on a hanger.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:46 AM
1

I think the context was "prior to meeting her", not "concurrently with".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:42 AM
2

Spot on.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:41 AM
1

Nothing. There's nothing. The age range I'm dating in, I expect us both to have lived broad lives. If there's something that's a "never before and never again", and it's a positive, great! But this is real life, not fairy tales. And I actively prefer real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:35 AM
1

When I was, what I wanted, straight up, was a person to love who was cultured enough to be interesting to me, gainfully employed, not a stereotypical gamer, in decent shape, and not bald. And able to marry me, never mind willing. I got everything but that last little one. So I left him when I was twenty-eight and didn't date again until I was thirty-seven.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 12:02 AM
–

If I'm a 50-something man's caretaker while I'm only in my 40s, clearly I did not vet for decent enough health. Also, what in the transactional hell is this?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 12:47 AM
3

I am a hhlklvirgin. This time in English, not DOOM cheat codes?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 12:41 AM
1

No, no, you're not crazy, "words of praise" is actually intuitive for me, I just hadn't connected that to being a need for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 08:49 PM
–

No-one's ever pushed your happy button? Sweetie...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 08:45 PM
3

Oh, lord, I'd be listing off things all day. :) Okay. That helps, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 08:01 PM
–

Not without a prostate, it ain't
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:55 PM
–

fuck yes Sarah Jarosz
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:53 PM
–

Debatable, but go on
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:51 PM
–

I propose bluegrass as something you might enjoy <3
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:48 PM
–

Ooh, missed her age. "No young kids" isn't unreasonable if you're willing to date a little older; "no messy divorces"... mmh. Less reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:47 PM
–

tbh, she's already average height or better for a man, she's kinda screwing herself on the height thing, yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:46 PM
–

win!!! what kind?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:45 PM
3

More concrete reasons? Like, what, I'm supposed to find some reason I'm with him instead of hiring a handyman? Come the fuck on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:44 PM
1

Then, like I said: stupid or desperate. The rest of us out here have an ounce of self-respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:43 PM
6

Hell, I just realised I've always been a top-percent woman, for a given value of "woman". Amazing! OP just made my entire day.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:17 PM
2

If a woman wants a relationship with you but you tell her you only want something casual and she still hooks up with you and becomes your FWB, that means she's either desperate or lacking in the brain cell department. FTFY.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:10 PM
1

...reading books is a no, now? I'll give you watching anime because a lot of men have terrible taste in it and I just am not here for that, but if he liked the same kind as me, yo, let's go. But please, actually, BE literate and literary and intellectual. Please God, learn how to write like you passed high school English. Demonstrate these skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 07:06 PM
1

Who says she isn't? Seriously, where are the indicators that she doesn't actually go as wild for her husband? God, this is how low I've sunk. Defending Brett fucking Cooper.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:56 PM
3

Brett Cooper is a trash person for a lot of things, but not this. She's got eyes, she's got hormones. I can lend her grace for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:51 PM
3

Hierarchy and competition don't belong in love, though. Things like mutual humanity belong in love. Things like being absolutely the fuck fascinated with the other person, until you get that feeling where you want to crawl inside their chest and never leave. I'm fucking loyal, I don't walk unless I've been told by him (either explicitly or implicitly) that we can't make a lifetime work together. That our values are a whole-ass mismatch. The only reason I left my only truly significant other was …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:49 PM
4

It should not feel like The Bachelor I feel like that show has so much to answer for in how people learned to do love this century, omfg
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:37 PM
2

In the pursued/pursuer dynamic, men have to impress Bzzt, this is where it goes off the rails for me. I'm not into the pursued-pursuer dynamic. I don't want to be danced for. I want the discoveries of what makes the other person so fantastic to be mutual. Either we're both dancing or neither of us is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:36 PM
3

Stopping the drug is liberating for all of us, though. You mean he doesn't have to be obscenely rich and can be interesting for other reasons? You mean she doesn't have to look like a Kardashian? Gasp, they might actually come to find they like each other as PEOPLE.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:29 PM
–

...you're digging deeper by comparing 18-20-year-olds to middle schoolers, do you not hear yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:47 AM
2

"Performatively straight" in this context usually implies that if a woman isn't DTF right away, she must be sapphic in denial. Not true. There are other reasons. Men who decide not to date people they've pigeonholed as "performatively straight" more or less force the matter: if we don't put out fast, we don't get a chance to demonstrate that we're worth being around anyway. Now, if all they are looking for is sex, it's excusable. But there's a male loneliness epidemic on. That loneliness ain't g…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:45 AM
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...I'm going to be forty in less than a month, you don't need to condescend to me. Also, it's kind of insulting to think that modern 18-20-year-olds are basically still high schoolers. I've met them and they are more than capable of adult life and concerns. Try not infantilizing people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:42 AM
0

Some of us are grey-ace/demi and need time to be comfortable having sex with you. Bad things happen in our heads and bodies when men try to force the matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:36 AM
4

Is this... a commercial for SneakPeek?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:34 AM
5

You mean Aqua Tofana? :) Yeah, that shit's wild
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:32 AM
–

"20 is fresh out of high school" That's fucked up yo
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:29 AM
–

When do women get to be whole and realized human beings, and is that age older or younger than the age at which men get to do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:19 AM
-1

I do agree, but not too young: if they're still growing up, they could decide to take the kids and leave you. The sweet spot for making babies is 25-33. I fully support 35+ men who want to be dads not dating older women who are firmly committed to the childfree life.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:18 AM
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Two mental breakdowns in fifteen minutes? Impressive. In a "you need the number of my therapist" way.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:11 AM
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I mean, it's fair to be up front about the fact that you're not looking for sex, but my life would be so much poorer without the platonic male relationships in it. I don't buy that it's not possible. I've experienced that it can be when everyone's above board and fully, brutally fucking honest. Please correct me if I've misunderstood you, by the way. I try not to be just a body. I try to be kind of the opposite, actually. If I'm with a man it's because I want to be 100% with him, not because I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 12:51 AM
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Okay. That's very different from what's on the page, though. Maybe want to clarify that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 12:26 AM
1

Define what it means to be truly loved. To me, it's seeing that person and showing up for them. It's ride-or-die. But you can't romantically love someone who treats you like an object or a parent or, God help me, a therapist. Get involved with me as a fully realised, self-supporting person, we stand a great chance. I fixed my shit so I'm not here for people who haven't yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 12:25 AM
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Rebel, then. Don't clean up after him. Go take your own nap. The mess will be there when you're both awake, and he can take care of it then.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 11:45 PM
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Two things can be true at once: A person can get mad that they are only useful for sex, not being seen as a person AND A person can opt out of being used for sex in that way, no matter who calls them names and curses them for doing it. [edited:] that said, the specific she in the post being referenced was stupid about how she handled that, so she is more than a little responsible for her deficiencies
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 11:42 PM
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This is capitalist brainrot
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 11:37 PM
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And also, what do the two posts have to do with each other? I didn't get "oh you poor thing" at all from the first post...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 11:35 PM
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Being widowed is not the only awful and life-changing experience a person can have. There are some truly disconnected, privileged people in the world and I'd rather start recognizing when that is going on than making someone prove that their trauma is valid enough to validate their opinions, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 11:33 PM
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It is a little. I mean, I work with parents, trust me when I say their opinions are just as off the wall as single and childless people's
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 11:31 PM
5

People who understand that life is messy and lived in the grey are probably also the people who are going to learn the most when a therapist tries to teach them how to be healthier. People who go to therapy to learn a script to weaponize... nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 10:56 PM
2

The part about common discourse has made things bad. The existence of the profession was mostly quiet and unproblematic for, like, seventy to a hundred years depending on how far back you think it goes (I say the early analysts were the parents of this stuff and so it counts). People not knowing the history or the proper practice? Unqualified idiots running around acting like they've had enough education to begin to understand? And there's a problem? The hell you say! Burn all the pop psych lite…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 10:54 PM
2

That therapist would deserve to be sacked, ffs. The actual solution here is to explore the incompatibilities between their needs and how both partners can get more of what they need and also what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 10:49 PM
1

Shit like this just affirms the 35-40% of me that's masculine, ig, because hello, therapy that works for you is the kind that's gonna heal you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 10:47 PM
2

Fucking agreed, oh my God. The only books I have in my possession about therapy are the ones aimed at practitioners, because I went into the human services thinking possibly a career where eventually I practiced. (And as long as I have breath in my body, it's still possible.) Pop psychology is a cancer. The only decent book out there is The Body Keeps The Score, and again, that one's aimed as much at practitioners as patients, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 10:44 PM
3

There's a culture now? Oy, I guess I've been going to therapy since before it was cool. My therapists have just been working with me on the ways my brain malfunctions, and keeping me from burning out at work, and teaching me how to cope when life comes at me swiftly. Even when I was in an abusive relationship, no therapist ever taught me to weaponize what I was learning. Just how to save myself and not hurt anyone else in the process.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 09:53 PM
–

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 06:01 PM
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women still have an "out" through abortion In fairness, that depends on the jurisdiction... but if you're really fucking raw in a place that doesn't have abortion rights in place, goddamn, how dumb d'you have to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 04:56 PM
–

Too right. Hollywood bodies, even influencer bodies, are unrealistic for most of us because most of us have to work for a damn living, or parent, or both.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 03:48 AM
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But age alone, naaaah, can't have that, women have to maintain the same figures as Hollywood stars with personal trainers and fuck-all to do in a day
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 03:35 AM
–

The disgusting apartments thing? That's... not uncommon in older dudes. And some of them even have roommates.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 01:49 AM
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...but hey, at least they don't call an entire gender parasites
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 01:00 AM
–

p.p.s. the ONLY debt I have is student loans, government loans I am paying back and which might actually be forgiven because I'm in the public sector apparently for life. I have enough saved and am currently saving enough with every paycheck that in a few years, I can just throw money at that problem and make it disappear. I just want the cash to sit in an emergency fund until then.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:30 AM
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Well, that's what we used to call a gold digger. Now it's "empowerment". Feh.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:28 AM
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Ahhhhh, okay. Yeah, you're right, I should start specifying "full-time job, not three jobs stacked in a trenchcoat". I flat-out do not want the kind of lifestyle that people above about the middle of the middle class live. I don't want kids, a house in the suburbs (unless I've inherited it), travel, any kind of mani-pedi routine, pressure to look or behave a certain way... the people posting on subs for people I think of as very comfortable earners all seem fucking miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:22 AM
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Also, for what it's worth, as long as you are self-supporting, I actually prefer middle-middle-class earners (50-90K). Anything over $120K in my area rapidly becomes the kind of person I cannot relate to at all. Different desires, different way of life, different expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:14 AM
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Hey, I said I'd look down as long as he was self-supporting... and I'm currently at the threshold, in my area, of what that looks like. Again, if I changed jobs, as long as he could support himself if we broke up, or before we live together, and doesn't have a mountain of non-student debt, we'd be great.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:11 AM
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Damn. That's rough, and I hate that for y'all, and I have to admit it makes me side-eye the ones I encounter who have that attitude. Fucking Karens in training.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 12:02 AM
1

I mean... I find genuine attraction attractive, like, being real with me about who you are and what you want? We both benefit if our goals align, I'm not handing out sex like candy here so you actually win if your goal is casual but I tell you "sorry, I need love, trust, and respect" -- we both spend less money and time on the courtship, and you get to move on to the next.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:58 PM
1

I've still got a father with a shotgun. His eyes are good for 74. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:55 PM
0

Make a female profile with even an average-looking set of pictures, then see how many average to below-average men swipe on you with that app's equivalent of "casual" or "just for fun" on their profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:53 PM
2

I can guarantee you that 90% that swipe right on me don't read the profile... because I look them up and oop, dealbreaker after dealbreaker that I talked about in my fucking profile! Fancy that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:50 PM
1

I already took your advice. They swipe right anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:49 PM
1

You can just swipe left on me when I say "I don't do casual, I don't want kids, and you need to have hair on your head", ain't nobody making you take up my time looking for rejection that you see coming
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:47 PM
–

I mean, I believe that you've encountered them in the wild, but in such proportions as to make you think no woman can behave otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:45 PM
–

It's called "ceasing to give a fuck", but a lot of us don't hit that stage until we're over 35, so...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:40 PM
–

My parents misunderstood the assignment and now I'm nonbinary, whoops
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:35 PM
–

Men, on the other hand, render themselves celibate by not describing disabled people in the terms they prefer. Fucking "handicapped" in 2026, that word's only for parking nowadays.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:34 PM
–

Or. We can just date men who understand the assignment.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:32 PM
–

Throw me some anecdata here. What entitled women have you dated?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:32 PM
–

That's downright stupid. We don't go blind at 35, ffs
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:29 PM
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I'm grossing 41K (I get a raise to a whole 45 in November). I grant you, I am in a field not known for paying well. But. If he cannot manage to at least fucking match me, because very few grown-up jobs pay this little, I'm going to wonder what's wrong with him. Even if I jump ship and end up in the government job that starts at 58K, I'm going to expect him to pull in minimum about 40K. He'll need to be able to support himself instead of trapping us both in a relationship if things go south.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:25 PM
–

These women are only visually older than 21!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:14 PM
–

I mean, yeah, you've got a point, everyone's sliding downhill. But for people who are older than Zoomers, there was a time when intelligence and culture mattered, and some of us are still working to keep that alive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:11 PM
–

I'll be real honest with you here: I have a disdain for the way a lot of cishet men do sexuality because it seems to center around their own pleasure. They consider the other configuration's pleasure to be foreplay. The main point of sex, for them, is rutting into a hole, and for a lot of people with vaginas, that's boring to downright painful. Fuck me like we're queer and it matters that we're both enjoying ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:09 PM
–

Being childfree is liberating as fuck in terms of learning who you are before you date. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:06 PM
–

I hate to break it to you, but Zoomers... really aren't that sophisticated. American Zoomers at least have been born into "Idiocracy". Society has prided itself on dumbing down in their lifetime. It's been a race to the bottom. I've watched it happen. There are a few Zoomers who stick out as different, but they're always the ones who had atypical upbringings.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:00 PM
–

I mean, you've got a point. I ended up with my (much older) ex in my early twenties out of sheer desperation, because I had not until then met a man who could keep up with me. I was young, I was thin, I had "Lolita" appeal, and unfortunately I insisted on dating people who knew from culture. It's not that I was chasing older because older, I was chasing the kind of men I'm finally considered old enough to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 10:58 PM
–

Just like no-one owes anyone sex, no-one owes anyone loyalty, either. Neither should be transactional. You have sex because you love each other, or, like, whatever the equivalent is for people who don't want love. You give loyalty because the other person has admirable qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 10:55 PM
–

I mean, on the one hand, infantilizing anyone is a terrible look. On the other hand, I do draw the line at relationships where there are real-world consequences, like... to borrow from a fandom of mine, a chief attending dating a med student or an intern. Or even an attending with 20+ years' experience fucking around with a resident. Come on, the younger partner's gonna get a reputation. You want to leave them better than you found them, at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 10:52 PM
–

So she gets a pass because she bred for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 10:49 PM
–

Sorry, but what kind of shallow fucking existence do you lead that you seriously only care whether the person you love is pretty?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 10:47 PM
–

I got news for you about some of the 35-45-year-olds out here
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 10:43 PM
–

Men who can't read
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 09:59 PM
–

Sing her a few bars of "Sit on My Face"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 12:09 AM
–

Not gonna lie, if he trimmed his beard to a more sensible length, that's not horrible. It doesn't set off my "ew! Too ripped!" alarms.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:38 PM
5

Have you read any of the studies you're citing, or are those just the latest prooftexts we're throwing at people to demonstrate that our truthiness is correct? In my day, we didn't cite papers we hadn't actually read.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 10:47 PM
–

Except for my first time (which was "let's get it over with" after three weeks of talking online), I've waited. Or just not done it. But that's because I need to feel safe and respected before I have sex with someone, or it fucks my mind over.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:49 PM
–

Sir, when I date a man, I date him for real. If he can't earn enough of my trust in order for me to go to bed with him, that's a him problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 03:28 AM
4

Can I frame this? <3
/r/ExRedPill24/11/21 03:59 PM
-6

And yet I've lived a different truth. And this girl had to dig through my damn comment history to find something wrong with me, just so she could be right. I was not abused, I was not trafficked, I don't come from a culture where this is OK (unless you count Germany???) and I've always seen my mental illness as on par with diabetes because it's just a chemical imbalance. So.
/r/ExRedPill24/11/21 01:48 AM
-9

Wow. So because he was not the right man for me in the end, and I have brainweasels (fuck your ableism), age-gap relationships must be wrongbad. [edited] Also, you really had to dig through my comment history to find something wrong with me. Why were you that desperate for me to be damaged goods?
/r/ExRedPill24/11/21 12:30 AM
1

You're right. We need to be having discussions about the men's side of things. There are truly toxic expectations placed on men and it isn't fair on them. Women and men need to raise each other up instead of constantly tearing each other down -- there's so much tearing down in the name of "equality".
/r/ExRedPill24/11/21 12:23 AM
5

A girl stating that she wants a traditional man who wants to take care of all the things and leads and escalates should be just as sexes as a guy who states he wants to stay at home wife who submissive and just cooks and cleans I don't believe either of these people are sexist. If you want a certain type of person, that's just your preference. If you want to be the breadwinner while your spouse stays at home and takes care of the children, look for a person who matches that. If you want to be th…
/r/ExRedPill24/11/21 12:01 AM
3

Explaining women to a woman is pretty offensive. Best check yourself before you wreck yourself.
/r/ExRedPill23/11/21 10:53 PM
2

Well, I can tell you one number. The number who got past attraction to my bed. It is two. And neither was my friend first. So to me it doesn't matter if I had a moment of "love to see what that one can do for me", attraction is this fleeting, very human impulse that I personally act on once in a blue moon, and only under certain circumstances.
/r/ExRedPill23/11/21 12:13 PM
3

figures I don't keep track of the number of men I've been attracted to! First of all, large number, second of all, who does that?!
/r/ExRedPill23/11/21 02:26 AM
4

You're asking for hard numbers on a subject that is more properly the domain of the social (soft) sciences. Stoppit.
/r/ExRedPill23/11/21 02:08 AM
5

God, how I love whatever gene broke in me that made me childfree. I get to select for traits I like, not just what will make the best kids. Fuck evo psych.
/r/ExRedPill23/11/21 12:04 AM
9

Do not do this to us. Please. Do not make friends with us if you're angling for more. Just be the fuck honest with us from the out and let us decide whether we're actually attracted to you. Jesus.
/r/ExRedPill23/11/21 12:01 AM
1

It's not. I never liked anyone better because they liked me. Sometimes I ran screaming.
/r/ExRedPill22/11/21 11:56 PM
1

That’s why I find brain scans so useful. Male and female brain scans very clearly seem to show that what men and women have been saying about their own sex has been right all along. See, I find that to be exemplary of Red Pill thinking -- the evo-psych, nature over nurture way of looking at gender. How many brain scans have been examined, by whom, and to what end? You'd need an awful lot to generalize about entire genders. There should be brain scans that reflect the existence of trans individua…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 11:34 PM
1

I'm not saying you can't be attracted to someone, just that yeah, the media's beauty standard is a little fucked. :D I think you have to be physically attracted to someone, but balance in all things! There's got to be something below the surface to keep a person in a relationship!
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 05:56 PM
1

...because dating isn't music? You don't rehearse dating for hours on end, trying and trying to get the hang of the technical bits while retaining the feeling, and then expect that you'll go out there and please a whole crowd. Kindly do not compare a skill I had to develop starting at the age of nine with something as pissant as going for a coffee with another person.
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 05:21 PM
1

You seem like a kind person! Biggest compliment you can give me. Bless you and keep you, and much success in your endeavors.
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 05:16 PM
2

Idk what is the ideal man to women Well, you've missed the mark entirely on mine. :) I'm not physically attracted to any of the men you think women lust after. The last time I lusted after a man, he was sixty if a day, tall, kind of slim, great bone structure, only had a fringe of hair left around the rim of his head. But what I knew about him suggested he was both brilliant and compassionate, great at what he does. That kind of man I might decide to try on for size. Compassion, after all, sugge…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 05:14 PM
1

The validation of being attractive is going to have to come from within at some point. It's harder for men because you don't necessarily experience the same ease of getting laid as women do, and I don't think it's because women want [famous actor here], I think it's because what we're looking for is different. A lot of women just want him to be decent and decent in bed. I personally don't like the double standard that says dad bod is good but mom bod is not -- I'm not attracted to extreme dad bo…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 04:41 PM
8

I would unpack this in therapy if you can afford to. I know that not everyone can. Having an NMom means there's a wound left from childhood that may not have been able to heal yet. Are you on /r/raisedbynarcissists at all?
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 03:50 PM
1

When you say date effortlessly, what do you think those people are getting out of it that you aren't? In my experience, at least, the connections that form are not lasting ones, there's nothing particularly fulfilling about them, and did I mention The Crazy yet because drama follows a lot of this kind of stuff. Sure, it looks like fun from the outside, but you don't actually want to be them. Trust an old woman. :) If you dated another athlete, I'm thinking you would have someone in your life who…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 03:45 PM
2

If you can't hit her in the feels, the two of you just aren't compatible. But who knows, your time may not be right now. Your time may be if/when you're doing something else -- or you may find your person somewhere completely unexpected. Maybe a fellow athlete would understand? <3
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 03:19 PM
2

You know who you are. If it starts to go well between you after a date or three, you can ask; I think it's appropriate to be comfortable around a person you are kissing or... more with.
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 03:18 PM
3

idk, I kind of was/am. The self-improvement ideas and the appeal to my sense of traditional femininity really reeled me in -- but there is a wider world to live in, and there are broader ideas, and I'm beginning to see as I escape the mire of the pandemic how awesome a wider, broader life could be.
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 03:02 PM
1

our societal definitions of what a man is supposed to be which is a provider and a protector. What if, hear me out, what if those definitions are wrong?
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 02:47 PM
3

It seems super crazy that someone who doesn't care about the girl, can attract her so easily. It seems crazy to me too, to be honest. I can't give you advice, but I can say that I need him to care. I've always needed that from the time I was young. I can't do bad boy alphas. And of course the comments on RPW were very much "hdu write off the alphas" but I'm sitting there thinking "if this is 'love', I'll take a beta any day". I have that beta energy, too, and I want to match it with someone who'…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 02:00 PM
2

Juggling options to me just makes me feel uncomfortable to be honest, and I think if I’m seeing someone I’d like them to be the same. I'm a woman and same. I was always content with one at a time, and I wondered why other people couldn't be. Now I know that I just have to look for other people who are one-at-a-time people, like me. No harm no foul if they aren't, just as long as they're honest and I can say "Okay, that's not going to work for me, peace". I find focusing on the things I can contr…
/r/ExRedPill20/11/21 01:54 PM
5

You'd be on the money there. I was already more conservative than a lot of the women around me and looking for a place where at least the word "feminine" meant something.
/r/ExRedPill19/11/21 06:09 PM
4

Look for Blostirno on Amazon, my go-to pair is from there. Basically synthetic outside/velvety inside.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/21 02:27 AM
30

I make dresses work in thirty-degree weather. Fleece tights, boots, undershirts, cardigans, and a good coat over top.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/21 11:00 PM
3

If a Christian cannot handle something, the thing to do is to take it to God and other accountable men in his church, not to place it at the feet of his sister in Christ. Let him do that. Tell him to do that. Then back up your actions by distancing yourself from him while he works out what it is he wants. If God means it to be, God will make it so.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 04:33 AM
6

He may like you, he may care for you, but if he doesn't think you're the one to marry, what are you going to do about it? Maybe let him know about the jealous vibes you're getting from him. A brother in Christ would want to know if he's hurting his sister, right? And if he doesn't intend to marry you, you should be free to find someone who will.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 03:29 AM
4

I can't with proper work pants for some reason. I own them, I'll wear them, but I don't know how to feel like myself in them. The closest I come is a culotte or a suede cigarette pant -- okay, let's be honest, it's a really thick legging. But nothing in suiting has ever... suited. Probably because I'm 4'11" and feel like I'm wearing a Female Politician Halloween costume.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 02:32 AM
3

Just... stop caring about him. Obviously you two aren't going to be endgame for each other, so just cut him and Miss Backstabber out of your life like they're cancer. You don't have to answer to your ex's accusations, he's not your husband. Now put your money where your mouth is and keep not having sex with people until you find one you've properly vetted for the things you want from a relationship. Don't screw up again like you did during your break from your ex. I can see why he'd ask what he …
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 02:23 AM
1

That's a fair challenge, and one worth considering. I guess if I were in a less forgiving field, I'd have to accept that I wasn't going to meet husband material there, because they would never see my feminine side -- only the work me that had to conform. I'm kind of glad I never developed a passion for that kind of work.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 02:13 AM
3

How soon would you be prepared to marry this man? Can he support a family, if that's something he wants? Because to me, it's pretty clear that the only way forward is a courtship with intent to wed at the end of it, and maybe a short one at that if he really can't resist you...
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 02:10 AM
2

You're right, they're not logical or fair! Honestly, if a man kept his long hair tidy, I'd respect that too. Like you said, it's natural. If a person decides to keep their hair more or less as it grows out of their head, or as it would grow out of a human head -- no wild streaks, no bizarre dye jobs, and allowing for ethnic styling -- that's their business. I had my Stupid Hair Tricks phase and I don't expect that anyone took me seriously during that. I was also a teenager who didn't need to be …
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 02:05 AM
6

I was never an aspiring "career woman". I didn't want this for myself. Necessity and a series of unfortunate events mean I have to work, and I'll pull my weight in the world because shirking is not my idea of a positive character trait. But by God you'll not catch me dead in a pant suit.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 01:57 AM
2

There are some realities I find it hard to just lie down and accept! Ah, well, I'm in a field where I won't be punished for my feminine qualities. It's not like I particularly want to be working outside the home, but needs must when you're a single woman, so I looked for something that wouldn't be awful to do.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 01:53 AM
8

[shudder] face tattoos are not the same thing as long hair, one of these things happens in nature and the other is face tattoos :D I'm proud of you for standing your ground. I hope there are way more like you coming up in the world!
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 01:50 AM
7

The perception is wrong and demeaning. Maybe changing how they perceive you should be the next big step -- or else desert those fields en masse, clearly men don't want us or need us there as ourselves. Only the most butch need apply.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 12:09 AM
21

If women keep buying into being masculinized as the price for career advancement, all we'll ever be is second-rate men. Who wants to be that when we can be women? We were forced into shoulder pads because our frames weren't broad enough, some women embraced pant suits over skirts -- that's a big no from me, and if looking feminine holds me back in a field, maybe that's a field I need to reconsider being in. Something I do not need to worry about, thank God, because the human services aren't as r…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 11:36 PM
13

It's good that waiting is hard! Waiting should be hard, because it means you two are physically compatible. :) There's no concrete number of dates, no set timespan -- when you know it's right, you know. He will still be able to deepen his regard for you after you sleep with him; just vet him as well as you can, and then you can say you did everything you could.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 07:34 PM
5

It would be so cruel to marry this man if you can't come to feel something for him, not his money. Let your better angels guide you in gently correcting him on your intentions toward him.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 11:39 PM
1

Darling Academy for really domestic things; elegantwoman.org for femininity (and Freddy My Love on YouTube, she's super sweet!)
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 10:18 PM
3

I think it's so cool that you got to become a beautician while/before you earned a 4-year degree! I wanted to do that so badly when I was a girl and my parents refused to support me. Definitely interested in following you!
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 10:06 PM
8

I think he had better not expect her to take care of the home perfectly, the children perfectly, and work more than part-time. Minding home and children eats time, even once the kids are in school. Eight hours at work plus putting food on the table for everyone plus making sure the kids are happy? That's at least two full-time jobs.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 04:05 PM
1

My parents raised me on the 1990s equivalent. Combined salary could never have been more than today's $60K. Three of us were perfectly fine on that. I don't miss vacations to Disney or any of that crap, it was enough that we were able to get home to see the family once every few years. Maybe I'd have liked ballet lessons, but that was as impossible due to logistics as to income. Otherwise? I always et, I was always warmly clad in new togs, and I had books coming out my ears. I even had an Americ…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 01:36 AM
4

I know, right? $50K for one person seems a complete luxury, I would be well impressed with a man who made that.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 12:51 AM
41

I can't say as I've seen any woman advocate for the things you say you're seeing here, but you know, I'm not looking for a sugar daddy either? Nor do I particularly want to blow money on a wedding? The most expensive thing would be the thing that's going to last as long as the marriage (i.e. forever): the rings. Nice ones can become heirlooms. And the only rings I've really coveted have totalled about $3K for man and wife. I have that in the bank right now.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 08:43 PM
4

I just let the thoughts flow through and have their due, then go "Are you done?" to myself and get on with it. I'm not great at retraining my brain to not feel things so I work with what I've got! :) I do know how to behave myself despite feeling something, it's just... behind the smile, I might be thinking "She's an [unprintable]" for a few minutes. And then moving on. I find the feeling slips away as if I never had it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 09:04 PM
2

The baseline is arsehole - not boring but loyal TV husband. That's rather a sad statement on men!
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 03:20 PM
19

You know how there's a maintenance phase when it comes to having lost weight? That's what everyday femininity looks like. You're no longer correcting flaws, you're living with the results -- with, of course, an eye on yourself so that you don't develop new flaws or lapse into old bad behaviors!
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/21 11:38 PM
5

You've got to approach weight loss as a new habit, a different way of living, if you want to maintain it at some point. It will be hard at first but I think you have the intestinal fortitude to accomplish your goals.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/21 04:33 PM
5

A deficit of 1750/week will be enough to take half a pound off a week. I usually advise starting slowly and working your way up, if you want to form a new habit. You can get used to less and less at a time; it's harder to get used to much less all at once.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/21 03:03 PM
4

Unfortunately, much of Reddit is US-centric and cannot fathom that other places don't have the same benefits we do. Or that certain things are not covered by "universal" health care (I happen to know the situation in ON, thank God not firsthand or I'd be a real wreck).
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/21 04:59 PM
4

...fellow biromantic heterosexual here, I'm very like this. I guess I just like sexual dimorphism in my partners? Feminine women, masculine men?
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/21 09:04 PM
1

Regarding footwear -- in my experience, $50 doesn't go very far with a mid-range brand anymore, unless we're defining mid-range very differently. Also, for some feet, there is no mid-range; there's either what's inexpensive or what's going to cost a hefty chunk. I have looked at replacing two pairs of ill-fitting boots and it's $50/pair just for Amazon boots in my size (4.5 US, rare as hen's teeth except for some reason on Amazon and Yesstyle?). And before you say children's is the answer, when …
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 06:02 PM
11

Why did you get involved with your current partner in the first place? What attracted you to him? Was he just as uncultured then? What made you stay?
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/21 03:50 AM
1

You've been together since you were literal children. In that time, how much growing have you had the chance to do? His actual brain -- and yours! -- has changed so much since you got together. You can't expect to be the same people you were, so I hope you have accounted for that.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/21 10:47 PM
15

You can't flirt from a place of insecurity. Tell us four things you LIKE about yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/21 10:43 PM
1

Sure, but how many of these girls are actually in love with good matches?
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/21 10:38 PM
37

Behind in riding The Carousel? That's fine. I'm a huge proponent of saving sex for the people you're vetting as Captains, not just any old date. Endorphins are temporary. The honeymoon phase will pass. Do you want something that lasts longer than the sex your friends are having?
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/21 12:16 AM
5

With regards to Fascinating Womanhood -- don't just read the book, go find Helen Andelin's daughter Dixie on YouTube and subscribe to her! She's fabulous, and you may find the advice to be simple and sensible the same way I did. FW isn't a guide on how to be a doormat at all. It's just a way to look at things differently. Like any set of tools, you take what will work for you and leave the rest behind.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 10:22 PM
3

I'm going to be the one to drop this :) The Art of the Bad Excuse is brilliant advice in your situation.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 10:03 PM
9

Anyone who would encourage someone away from being naturally warm and loving is a person I give the side-eye, but it's possible that I have many more years of experience telling me this than you have. ;) Flirting in person: excellent way to show interest. Directing it all at him will make him feel special; you're not just charming all and sundry, you're there for him! Kiss him if you feel moved to do so. You don't have to make out with him in the middle of the café, but a quick buss on the lips …
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/21 10:25 PM
4

How are you communicating disinterest exactly? Knowing this will help to give you guidelines as to how you could behave. No use telling you to do something you may already be doing.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/21 10:00 PM
2

One of the most feminine things to do is be gracious: to give no more quarter than you are given, but not to treat anyone unnecessarily rudely. To not be a pushover; to hold your own frame (I've stolen that from male red pill, I'm afraid!). But to be a lady through it all. It's hard not to respect a truly gracious person.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/21 01:06 AM
1

She could just be really protective of her brother. Nobody is good enough. It reminds me of the characters in Mo Dao Zu Shi whose sister marries someone they repeatedly call "the Peacock". Nobody, but nobody, is Jiang Yanli's equal in their eyes. So it may be for your FSIL!
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/21 11:14 PM
6

You'll be just lovely. I think your mother's guidelines can yield some uniquely beautiful results (I also think that light blue Korean formal is pretty!!!) and you won't have to worry about boys getting the wrong idea about what you're there to do.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/21 01:19 AM
3

I think the dress you've chosen is beautiful and you'll stand out in a good way. That green is divine. I hope you don't have to pay too much in customs! I also think that if there comes a time when you want to wear something more like what your classmates are wearing, you can. I'm 150cm and in high school was very thin with a small bra size. I wore very slinky dresses and looked good in them. It's all a matter of proportion. :)
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/21 01:12 AM
5

One of my tall friends actually was pressured that way, it was gross. I'm fine with people who are legitimately trans, but that's not everyone in Gen Z, Jesus.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 10:42 PM
7

Personal consequence: you'll get fired if you go against company values. Wider consequence: some sectors need to be the way they are in order to function. Just find something that actually matches the values you have, and don't be arrogant enough to assume that you know what an entire field/industry needs AND that you have it.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 10:18 PM
6

The greatest words ever given to women were "keep calm and carry on". So I'll recommend doing that to start. :) Who's telling you it's vain to adorn yourself a little? Who's telling you it's only to attract men, implying that that's a terrible thing? All that talk sounds like rubbish to be ignored. If it will help you feel feminine, wear makeup! Do your nails! Sail serenely through the halls of whatever institute of learning you currently attend, knowing that you have got a little closer to who …
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/21 06:01 PM
4

I think you may be conflating red pill with tradcon in this case.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/21 03:39 AM
4

Your boyfriend is a normal drunk guy. People's inhibitions are lowered, not eliminated. Also? Sometimes, when you're drunk, you can't get it up as easily.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/21 12:39 AM
28

He knows my fear , and tells me I need to trust us. That everything he’s doing , all of his hard work and plans , is for us, our future together. When a man tells you who he is, believe him. So often this phrase comes up when women are having problems in their relationships and should leave, but I think you need to hear it in your context, too: this is a man who is assuring you with his words and his deeds that he is YOURS. Also, unlike your past partners, he comes from the same background as yo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 10:08 PM
97

I'm getting a distinct air of "I don't respect this man anymore, if I ever did". This is not the first time you've referred to him as your child. I wonder if it's best for you to consider whether this relationship, with this man, has truly run its course? It sounds like you want to change him into someone he just isn't. Like he needs emotional support you feel it's not masculine enough to need. Perhaps you would be better off looking for more of a stoic.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 09:07 PM
4

Literally any dating website that isn't Instagram will do the job, I'm thinking. You're young, you're pretty, you've got an interesting hobby, so check out a variety of sites and stick with the ones that get you the results you want!
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/21 10:23 PM
21

So, your example Insta girl actually makes some pretty racy styling and posing choices. Of course that'll get a guy's blood up. Men are very visual and I doubt they're interested in the captions on the photos. I would avoid Insta dates. There are better ways to meet men online, men who might like you for more than your content. If you go the online dating route, try styling yourself a little more modestly so the focus is on you as a whole, not the behind you're sticking out, the midriff you're e…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/21 10:16 PM
13

Yuppppp. Sounds like there's a lot of love but not much respect going on.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/21 07:06 PM
1

My breasts are... malformed. Sometime when I was a teenager they kind of quit developing. While they are technically something like 33", the top half is missing entirely and the bottom half is scanty. I'm 33" at the nipples and the rest is a sad, sad joke. I have no fullness. Trust me, I've been coping with these sacks of nothing for the last 20 years. It doesn't take much to render me flat. I also discovered that indeed I tend to need ease in my band because my poor ribcage is sensitive. I don'…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/21 01:54 AM
1

Oh [blush] No, I'm a 28 around the ribcage, I think I've checked it before and it definitely said "girl, your bras are too big" but [plumps chest] try telling my chest that :D
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/21 01:32 AM
1

Okay, you have my attention! Where do they sell these pretties?
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/21 01:31 AM
1

I know, for very sure, that my body cannot wear a 28 band. I need extenders just to be comfortable in a 30. And the price tag on pretty silky underthings just goes up the weirder a size you are, so in any event I couldn't justify the expense.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/21 01:20 AM
9

Lingerie and my breasts don't mix. They always cut it for larger than a 30/32A. Thus, my answer to sleeping with a partner is nudity :D
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/21 12:28 AM
19

Yes. Instead of begging people to change to preserve a relationship, I now just change myself as far as I am able -- and leave the situation if it is untenable. I am the factor I control.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 11:37 PM
6

You have great advice here, so I'm going to stick to the practical and tell you that it's never too early to learn the skills that go into making a home. There's so much out there for free online that I can't begin to list it! Home Ec 101 is pretty awesome, and check out Alena Kate Pettitt while you're at it, she's a good role model.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 11:40 PM
10

Authority can be loving and still be valid authority. This man did not have to shout at a five-year-old that she was making stupid excuses. I would like to see the studies you are referencing.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 11:28 PM
19

I'm not married, but I was in an age gap relationship, and for me it wasn't so much the age gap as my age when it all began -- I was 22, and it ended when I was 28 and had changed dramatically. In that time I did a lot of growing. If your guy can accept that you might grow and change during your relationship, I would say go for it; mine was kind of upset that I was no longer the carefree pliant 22-year-old girl he'd met. But if yours will not fault you for growing, pursue it with everything you'…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 07:51 PM
2

Aaah yes! :) Jiang Yanli is feminine goals, isn't she?!
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 06:19 PM
9

I’ve sent months on redpill, pink pill, self improvement and femininity spaces The pink pill probably won't help you learn to like men any better. The ways they talk about men only serve to reinforce a misandrist mindset. A good rule of thumb for me has been that if they talk disparagingly about a gender as a whole, it's not a great place to be. Going into men's red pill spaces can also be a jolt to the system because these places are not for women. Many of them are venting places for men who ar…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 05:30 PM
1

For someone without a sleep disorder it is pretty late, yes.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 04:43 AM
1

Who made the plans to go out at that hour? If he did, I agree that he could maybe honor the plans he made -- but I'm also keeping in mind that he works all week and maybe he needs the gaming outlet in order to shed the stress. I'm a woman and if I've been unable to get "me time" for a long time, some night I'll snap and just stay up late to get it. Honestly, it's possible that afternoon starting hours are where it's at for you two and it's just something to cope with.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/21 05:05 PM
1

When she’s 60 and her kids are out of the house and she’s ready to live it up as an empty nester Respectfully, not all women are like this :D Exhibit A: Mama. Who, God love her, has taken one look at retirement and said that apart from one or two trips with her sister which she's been longing to take for 30+ years, she's just glad to have time around the house. She's taking such delight in the prospect of snow days.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/21 10:39 PM
7

Usually when he's looking for young-because-immature, he's looking younger than 29. :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/21 03:49 PM
-1

He sounds jealous that he does not have a reason to leave his own job. This interests me, because if men find their worth in work, what is wrong with his current work environment? Especially if he claims he doesn't feel bad about being the breadwinner? "A man doesn't quit." Well, you're not a man. You're a woman, and it's your body bearing the child you both decided to have. If you feel at some point that you can go back to work, it isn't as if your industry will move on without you and you'll b…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/21 04:08 AM
9

A feminist would understand that growing a whole human (something he cannot do) is a spectacularly taxing job in and of itself, and the fact that you're now doing it for the third time in four years is pretty badass. You're probably saving a whole salary's worth of childcare expenses. Instead of paying someone else to raise your kids, they get to have one of their own parents! Is that not worth it to him? I'm with you all the way. Let's see if he'll wake up to the good sense arguments for you su…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/21 02:52 AM
3

Then he's not ready to be married. If he doesn't feel like his wild oats are sown, if he anticipates getting bored of your sex life, he needs to consider whether he's done with singleness. If his attitude were more common among men who were about to be married, I don't think a lot of women would be married to them now.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/21 09:11 PM
3

Well, this blew up. Look, as someone who has actually been involved in polyamory -- rules are important. But so is everyone's consent, and if yours isn't there, then maybe the two of you need to explore why he suddenly feels his sex life isn't enough. Maybe he is non-monogamous by nature (that's pretty rare, though). Or maybe he's young and sees a lifetime of being married to one woman and thinks that this should not be the end of his sexual adventures. I think you both have some growing up and …
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/21 08:38 PM
5

We've seen an example of how that isn't necessarily so -- the TikTok girl -- so it was really nice to see the contrast in OP, who sounds like she's really making something beautiful of herself as a person.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/21 08:15 PM
9

Excellent! Just making sure you knew that. There are people who honestly think that beauty is everything, and I was coming from a place of concern -- I'm truly happy that you are a well-rounded person, and you certainly seem to be in a great position to be a good partner to a high-value man.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/21 05:56 PM
23

I would like to caution you that you should be bringing more to the table than just a well-cared-for body. Being 22 and gorgeous will attract the men you're interested in, but you've got to make sure you have something worth sticking around for (and no, sex alone is not it). What are your non-superficial qualities?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/21 05:26 PM
11

won the generic lottery Unintentional truth, though: there are a million just like her competing for the same tier of men because she just happens to be what's currently "in". And for some reason they all have Instagram accounts...
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/21 12:45 AM
1

And of course, if he is making decisions so reckless or so misguided that you feel like you are in danger (real danger, not “I’m gonna lose face with my social circle” or “my feelings are hurt” danger), then yes, leave! Hardcore agree with you on everything but especially this: it has to be a real harm done to make me even do more than put up a token fuss. I believe in trying as much as possible to make the family work, from the engagement on forward (go go premarital counseling!). I was thinkin…
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/21 12:01 AM
2

What do you do when your Captain starts behaving more like Ahab and less like Hornblower? ...for the not-so-literary: what if he starts making erratic choices that you know are a problem?
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 10:03 PM
3

I'm hoping that the women at RPW are not "most women", and when "most women" will be like the women at RPW, sleeping with men after 3-5 dates will not be a thing anymore. Can I just give you a hearty non-religious amen?
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/21 07:41 PM
8

Au contraire. I think it would be completely responsible to stop looksmaxxing (a word I've only ever seen on places like Vindicta, incidentally). I think you should get him used to a version of you that doesn't prioritize the superficial, because if you two are going to grow together, your lives won't always have room for looks. You might have kids together, for example; is your face going to take priority over them in the morning?
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/21 01:40 AM
10

Aha. You raised his expectations too high from the start. Most of us out here don't actually have insane routines, we do enough to look good enough and it works. Thus, when we get into comfortable relationships, we don't have to flog ourselves stupid to stay as pretty as we were when we didn't have, you know, a whole relationship to keep up as well as our faces. There's room to grow and develop new priorities. You may eventually realize you need more room in your life. Where's it going to come f…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/21 01:35 AM
1

Thank you for providing clarity on this. Selective and careful are good watchwords, I think.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/21 12:08 AM
1

Well, I'm far from interested in becoming a Strong Independent Feminist. So... give it a touch of the ol' "yes, I'm a woman, not a man in a dress" and don't fret? :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 10:59 PM
3

You make this make more sense. Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 10:58 PM
1

Different is fine. "Submissive" places one person above another -- in what sense must a woman submit before she has earned the right to feel safe around him and know that he won't hurt her?
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 10:18 PM
2

This hits me in a bad place. I think it's because the only way I feel comfortable submitting to a man is if I know it's not "submit or be maltreated". If he actually respects women as people, if he can get beyond the caveman within to what evolution has gifted us -- that is, an intellect broad enough for the radical notion that women are people, too. Not better than him, not worse than him. Just human. If I don't feel safe around him, why on earth would I render myself more vulnerable? But if he…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 10:02 PM
16

I've found that keeping that connection open between myself and my inner child not only helps with femininity, it DOES draw children in. Especially relating to neurodivergent kids. Getting on their level isn't hard, you just have to look through their eyes a little. :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 07:35 PM
1

Women who are honing their interior design skills? I've seen some seriously awesome design ideas come from female Sims gamers, and that is definitely feminine in my book!
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 04:15 AM
5

I think if he's gaming while I'm enjoying my YouTube queue, for example, I could be really happy. I like sharing a sofa with an SO while we do our own thing, that's fine with me. Or he's at his desk and I'm stretched out on a chaise or something (ugh, back problems plus being too short for many setups). I like the idea of being able to send him something cool on Discord and he'll see it and turn around and thumbs-up or blow me a kiss. And we'd check in now and again on each other, maybe stop to …
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 03:57 AM
2

In many cases I fall on the more liberal end of things, so if I'm saying this, please believe it: he's being unreasonable. Especially if he's giving his sisters a pass on the vaccine but not you. He should be coming down on them like a ton of bricks if he's holding you to that standard. And if he's as liberal as he says, then he should trust the science that actually it's not affecting women's reproductive capacity, and tell his sisters to suck it up. Especially if they plan to be pregnant durin…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 03:48 AM
17

my husband was in the top 15% of players in the world at his main game, competed in tournaments that have won him money, and plays on a team that has earned him a scholarship I have found this to be vanishingly rare in the general population of gamers. You have a unicorn. Cherish him. :) I don't mind gaming unless it takes away from me. Full stop, if I feel like I'm splitting SO time with a bunch of pixels, I'm not there for it -- unless I also have a unicorn and he's bringing in money off it. B…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 03:36 AM
23

Obviously the first priority here is keeping you alive, so: find a helpline in your area and call it. Please do not kill yourself over an ex. Especially since you are 21 and have so many years ahead to meet someone who works for you. Because you do. He is not the end of the line for you. Neither is your "friend", there are plenty better women out there to be friends with. You can safely get them both out of your life if you can't be around them without feeling awful. Now is the best possible tim…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/21 11:52 PM
1

You were talking like a person who honestly thinks the same things as fat activists/HAES advocates. They have tended to be wildly unreasonable at me just for talking about my body image and my own eating disorder because I'm not fat like they are. It's one thing coming from close friends, I'll go gently-gently with them, but strangers acting like they belong to that contingent? No.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 07:52 PM
12

Does your gut tell you that you would follow him into a fire? Forgo your path to join him on his? And that was how I knew when to end it. Dead-on.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 07:29 PM
2

The reason I have never felt at ease in traditional pro-recovery spaces is because every little thing has to be splatted or trigger-warned for, so perhaps you can imagine my chagrin at being told to warn here, of all places, the one place left where that's not a ginormous deal. Weight, as we both know, is something a person can change. If a person comes in here talking about how they're worried that their weight is too high -- am I going to lie to them and give them the old fat-lib line? No. I'm…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 07:26 PM
8

If he's capable of putting a roof over your head, literally a roof, not a home of your own but a roof, he's in a position to be a provider. Your children can grow up in an apartment perfectly well. I never expected more than that when I was younger and more attractive (all right, so I don't want children, but I was/am fine with renters, comes with living in a city sometimes!). Why would you complain that your partner wants you to be healthier and happier in your own body? Why would you be upset …
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 12:05 AM
11

He's getting wife privileges from you while treating you like a girlfriend. That may go some way towards explaining why you feel a bit taken advantage of: you are. I recognize that scheduling can be impossible, but if he's going out with you less than once a week, I wonder if he has room in his life for anyone but himself? Even Mr. Second managed to see me once a week and he had a whole wife.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/21 07:13 PM
1

Our household has three six-figure salaries and no kids. It's not hard to imagine why we are in the 1%. My man, you are living the dream: three people who get along well enough to make this work? [doffs hat] I cling to monogamy because you ARE the top 1%, and very few households I'm aware of can honestly make this work. I've even had nightmares about jealous wives (Jesus, I wonder why...) Once burned twice shy and all that, but I won't harsh your squee. -- Genuinely Tolerant Liberal
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/21 07:19 PM
-4

I wouldn't dissuade her from doing better than to take the intoxicants she was offered, or to keep out of those situations entirely, but once you are drunk or stoned, you are legally off-limits. Ephebophilia is, as I understand it, a norm, but I did not think taking advantage of someone who cannot consent was. Acknowledging your own past is one fundamental way out of a victim's mindset -- but if you're acknowledging a false past, that can set you back and hurt you all over again.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 04:51 PM
-4

"Completely intoxicated to the point she can't remember" means too intoxicated to give consent. That isn't blame shifting, that is acknowledgement of a legal reality. I don't approve of hoe phases but I generally see people having them while competent to consent, not blitzed off their behinds. I stand by the compassion I offered.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 04:36 PM
-7

You did not sin. You were sinned against. Most grievously. Take the millstone from around your neck. It belongs around other people's. A loving God does not punish his children for their own exploitation and abuse. Go in peace.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 06:28 AM
2

Vee: two women agree to trade off one man, without themselves being involved. She was strictly monogamous. He was frankly greedy and couldn't keep it in his pants, so rather than divorce him, they agreed that he should have girlfriends with rules in place and full disclosure. I wanted it to be more like the vees I'd heard about, where the women are at least cordial. Instead I drove her to drink. Oops.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 01:38 AM
17

So, part of what made Mr. Second not work out is that I was sharing him. :( I tried polyamory fully believing that the three of us would make one massively happy family. Which was great until they trickle-truthed how much of a compromise polyamory was between what he wanted and what she wanted... and that he was never, ever going to make me an equal priority to her. Since then I've clung to monogamy like a barnacle to the bottom of a boat.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 08:00 PM
4

Coming from you, that's one heck of a compliment, I'm honored <3
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 11:25 PM
1

I'm so sorry. I wish this weren't the case for anyone. If you ever need to talk, hit me up <3
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 06:36 PM
3

Yes, I just have a small pandemic to contend with. Two years went on a free education, the four before it recovering from a long illness and getting my head back together after six rather taxing years with Mr. Second and... well, 2020 hit. Very hard. Things just keep happening. But I won't give up!
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 04:04 PM
7

Seven years now! Planning to stay there through 2022! Because sometimes life hits you like a freight train. Repeatedly. But I'm heaps better off than I was in those days. For instance, I finally had the courage to suck it up and join RPW instead of lurking wistfully because My Friends Would Hate This For Me. Until I'm good enough to meet my own standards, I'm not good enough to get out there. [firm nod]
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 05:47 AM
4

Oh, the usual, young girl gets crush on older man, older man is too honorable to reciprocate. My poor heart was gone on him by the time I turned thirteen. It hadn't quite sorted itself out by the time I was twenty-one and looking for... a replacement? Which explains the terrible first choice. The second choice was terrible for entirely unrelated reasons, and then I stopped having anything to do with men until I had myself more together. That... is still going on. At least I avoided the dread Car…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 04:57 AM
7

Fair enough -- there's always a risk you'll fall in love after having sex. But I guess I bucked the trend there. The whole thing was a travesty that should never have happened, but it did, and I own it. I would rather have had that experience with the man who had my unrequited love, and perhaps that explains how I didn't fall in love with Mr. First. No room in my heart for him.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 03:02 AM
2

Well, I think falling in love with the first person you have sex with is very unwise So do I. And I didn't. I sometimes wish I could have, and then I remember how our post-relationship friendship went (he turned into a complete trainwreck) and I'm grateful I spared myself that. Biology is not destiny.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 01:55 AM
4

Just so! Respect is important between partners. I supposed it went without saying, but yes, he's disrespectful to her.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 01:04 AM
33

He is never antagonizing, always supportive Except, it would appear, about food. He's pretty extreme, I've gotta say. That's not a normal, healthy, well-adjusted way to look at food for yourself, never mind inflicting it on another person. He was not respectful to the person who offered him chicken because in no way is it respectful to answer with "Chickens are filthy animals". If he wants to eat that way, it is of course his prerogative. However, he needs to let you eat your way, and if he will…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 12:49 AM
3

I've never had a man do that, I must say. The other ladies here will certainly have better advice than I have about how to maybe take a little bit of control over household things like choosing furniture and decor.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 12:40 AM
2

We went on dates. We did normal things, just... less often, because we were two hours apart by car. We wrote love letters. And we traded music, because we had bonded over pop culture when we met.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 12:37 AM
3

If you trust him to be a grown man and do what he needs to do for himself, trust that he is with you because he wants to be. He CAN leave if he chooses. I wouldn't expect a grown man with responsibilities to be a big texter, tbh. Or to call you all the time. I was with one of those for six years and he called on his ride home -- only then. (We did not live together; we were LDR.) We emailed some during the day, chatted some, but I knew not to call unless I really had a need. As in "honey? Someon…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 12:01 AM
9

Why do you think he wouldn't leave if he felt the need? He doesn't have to pay bills. He doesn't have to commit to you. He has chosen to do these things. You could both do the Five Love Languages book together, I guess, to figure out where each other is coming from. But if a guy chooses you for commitment and financial support... I'm wondering why you're questioning whether he cares. He obviously likes something about you enough to stay.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/21 11:43 PM
17

“The right man will love you unconditionally exactly as you are, and if you’re fat and mean, well-- he’s just not Man Enough to handle you.” Ooohhhh I'm triggered. And not for the obvious reasons. You see, I knew "fat and mean". She was one of my best friends for nine and a half years. In the last half year of our acquaintance, she turned on me "for my own sake". It came out that she had essentially molded her husband into a man she could stand to be around. But sure, I was the one who turned me…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/21 09:26 PM
3

I get motion sick at the drop of a hat. Distance is an issue for me and I wouldn't do it ever again.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/21 05:31 PM
6

The only reason it didn't work out for me was that he and I disagreed fundamentally on other things. If you two agree on what's important, you are plenty old enough to do your own choosing.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/21 04:04 PM
14

Agreed on the plants! The nicest flowers I've ever had were three lilac bushes. The man is fourteen years gone but the lilac bushes are hale and hearty, and we have much joy of them.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/21 06:13 PM
1

I can see we have wildly diverging opinions on this subject, so I'm going to allow for that and not engage you any further on it. Have a wonderful weekend!
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/21 05:44 PM
3

I wasn't aware there were unattractive RPM? Certainly there must be, they're human just like we are and born with faces they can't control either. :) And I am saying this as someone whose face reads cute but will never read beautiful!
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 04:46 AM
0

I'm not in this for any gotcha moments. I'm sorry you seem to be treating this as one. I'm concerned that this man is behaving in ways that he should not be. If sister-goose and this man are fine with it, there is nothing I can say except what I have said. But it's something I avoid messing with for the reasons I have said. I can say no more than that.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 04:27 AM
1

Honestly? Because sex is involved. That's probably the biggest issue. He's your lover, he's the one who is having sex with you, his place is to support you in finding the help that you need, not to provide it. If he were a professional and providing the help that you need while also having sex with you, he could be struck off for it. The fact that he's not a professional is the only possible saving grace. I've seen it in my own family dynamic, too. My father was a counselor by trade in the milit…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 04:21 AM
2

You're just not supposed to mix therapeutic techniques and relationship dynamics with other relationship dynamics. It's dodgier if you're paying for the therapy part, which I doubt you are, but really it's best practices to let a third party be your therapist and reserve your intimate relationship for, um, intimate relationship things. Encouragement is one thing, but once he starts trying to fix something like being unable to regulate your emotions, it crosses over into "this is something you sh…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 04:00 AM
1

I'm getting my assurance from having studied the ethics of the helping professions. The rest of these things are fine.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 03:50 AM
6

Wow, no, this is not a partner's position in a relationship. He's not there to be your therapist. He is there to be your lover. It's not that he doesn't have to do this. It's that he outright should not. That's not his place.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 12:08 AM
5

[edited] Wrong reply, teach me to check context. Anyway, he's using jargon at you like "emotional regulation", you... maybe need to reconsider whether he respects you? Especially with what you said about his opinions on being nice to women, this guy is sounding like he's not that valuable.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 12:01 AM
3

Your partner is talking to you like he's your therapist? In what relationship is that appropriate?
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/21 11:38 PM
2

So... if you don't need a ring to know you're committed, why are you even wondering? At any given moment, either he wants to marry you or he doesn't. If he doesn't right now, then you get to decide if that's okay with you, and if it is, stop hamstering about it. If it's not, get straight in your head what needs doing.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/21 06:23 PM
3

Are you prepared to leave him if there is no further commitment to you? Can you be happy if this is all there is? How much longer can you stand to wait for him to be ready? Sitting here and ruminating over whether he's about to propose is all very well and good if we're your girlfriends and this is Sunday brunch, but darling, it's Thursday afternoon and I don't see any coffee. So focus on the practicalities for a second: can he still be all you need, or do you need to start thinking about what c…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/21 06:18 PM
2

Did not know traditionalism was part of the red pill? [edited] That is, as far as governments go. Social interactions, there's some trad to be found, but also a lot of people manage to do RP thinking in modern ways, so... this looks like you think that the red pill is solely for tradcons. I'd be fine with a constitutional monarchy, for the record.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/21 10:08 PM
6

Hi. I don't understand what this has to do with women's RP strategy? Call me a little naive, but I thought that was the purpose of this sub?
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/21 09:52 PM
4

I think that if you want to be at home with your child/ren, absolutely you should have that option. I don't think it's mandatory, but do NOT just pass your kids off to anyone to be raised because you are now sharing the raising of them with whoever is looking after them. Make sure the person who is sharing your children with you will do it the way you want them raised. Quality childcare is important to society -- who does it has to be up to individual families under their own circumstances, in t…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/21 12:05 AM
5

For things going right: anything by Jane Austen. I have Jane Austen's Guide to Dating and I must say it hasn't steered me wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/21 03:22 AM
5

Finding Jesus again helped. Finding God and letting God speak to me through God's own word, showing me the beautiful parts and not just the "you're so awful" parts, that really did a lot. If I'm speaking frankly, I can thank the TV show Call The Midwife for showing me that it didn't have to be all pain. Bless the sisters of Nonnatus House.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/21 01:52 AM
12

We live in a society that worships youth over experience, wealth over wisdom, and flash over substance. It's deeply unfortunate.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/21 01:33 AM
8

Ma'am, if I've impugned your worship then I sincerely apologize. I've run across some genuine devoted Christians in their time who did fit that description, and some people who used that description as a bludgeon to inflict extra-Christian cultural norms on people. I'm still very sore from that.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/21 01:32 AM
11

On the other hand, the UK is just as bollixed as the US, and they have the royal family. Wait, this is CS Lewis, he may actually be talking about God. Uh. I'm not going to object to people becoming Christians. Sane ones, not fundamentalists, but yeah.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/21 11:29 PM
3

Again: nice for them, but to me, dread is just bullshit that says he doesn't trust me, and if he doesn't trust me, why am I there? Why do I want to be with someone who's constantly shit-testing me? (And yes, I'm aware that there are women who get their kicks shit-testing men. That isn't healthy, either.) I guess if the relationship is fine, don't fix what isn't broken. So much of this seems designed to stir up relationship drama. Why can't people be happy with the status quo, if the status quo i…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/21 07:11 PM
2

why threat seems to work I must be a man, because threat/dread never works on me. It just tells me this guy is an insecure asshole. I don't operate in such a way that a man has to threaten me with the loss of my relationship in order for me to work on myself. Nor do I do things that warrant threats. So if he's just playing with my head, then he's downright mean and I don't want that behavior in my love life. particularly because it is stable and an upside direction is not visible anymore A woman…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/21 05:34 PM
3

Pay attention to what /u/SunshineSundress says. She's far wiser than I'll ever be. :)
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/21 04:05 AM
3

I just... look for the good traits. The stuff that will ensure that we're happy together, beyond the superficial. I've had a lot of time to think about what would make a good partner for me, not just a fun time, and I've made a habit of thinking in those terms since I was very young. I also know what I can't live with, not just what I can and want to. Knowing yourself is a major part of being able to judge a potential relationship. How well do you know yourself?
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/21 03:18 AM
42

Repeat after me: This is the third date. This is the third date of what could be a lifetime or it could be the third date of four dates. In the end, what matters most is that our values align and that he is the right man for me. Not that I got picked by a guy who looks good so far. Right now you are vetting. You are figuring out if he is captain material. He is not your boyfriend yet. He may not be boyfriend material yet. You will not shrivel up and die alone if on Date Number Four, you do not h…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/21 12:31 AM
11

...mods?
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/21 11:22 PM
9

Melatonin isn't going to help anything but your sleep -- are you having sleep issues? Antidepressants are a bit of a sledgehammer where a flyswatter (therapy) might do better to start. And you probably should pursue therapy, because clearly your self-worth is in the toilet. Do you not get dates at all... or do you not get the dates that you want? And what happens on those dates, or what do you expect to happen? What are you pursuing, really?
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/21 03:33 PM
3

Asking this in all seriousness: can they put you out? Or at least heavily sedate you and numb you?
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/21 05:20 PM
4

If I'm cooking for someone else, I ask them how much they'd like. It saves a lot of headache. My diet, I fully admit, is Weird, so most likely I'll just be cooking one portion of whatever it is -- so I'd need to know portion size :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/21 05:13 PM
12

I don't think there's anything to be proud of in the traits you were given and can't change. Just as I reject white pride and national pride, I'm no prouder of being a woman than I am of having tiny feet. I can take pride in how I perform femininity, which is a different kettle of fish. I can set standards for myself to live up to as a woman and hold other women to them as far as it is fair to. It's not for me to nitpick, but it's not a great idea just to throw up my hands and validate everyone.…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/21 02:07 AM
2

I didn't move houses, but I can't bear to sleep in the room where we slept. This is so familiar. Personal integrity is key to becoming who you're supposed to be. Nun mode, get to where you need to be, and remember that it is about building a whole life with someone, not just the kid years or the newlywed years.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/21 06:52 PM
4

What kind of relationship should I pursue? A healthy one with yourself. And that's big talk coming from me -- I'm still working on it, years after leaving a toxic relationship. Some of the things he said and did have not left me yet. But I know that I'm not ready to pursue anything with anyone else until I can close my eyes and the ideal I have of myself is reasonably similar to the reality. The doable ideal. Not the one where I'm a hot yoga mom, just the one where I don't hate the inevitable "I…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/21 04:22 PM
1

dangle the carrot of commitment in front of her whilst treating her with little respect Can confirm, fell for this one. It has taken years to rebuild.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/21 04:17 PM
1

You know it's bad when you're hoping the explanation is "it's a bot". :D
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/21 03:40 PM
23

Oh, but apparently everything a woman does is feminine because she's a woman. [facepalm] Apparently having standards of what is feminine in a woman makes you a sexist and also oppressed.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/21 03:31 PM
6

Nothing wrong with working out and reading books! Those are two important facets of self-improvement that are just as good for the goose as they are for the gander.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/21 03:57 PM
2

Unfortunately, women are now of very low intrinsic value, since sex has been largely devalued. We can be easily replaced. And as we age and further depreciate in SMV, this will be ever more keenly felt. [...] A woman has to make herself indespensible by being irreplaceable in other ways. A lesson in this from my parents' marriage: My dad got a case of the Wandering Willie, and it wandered straight into a woman not much older than I was at the time. He moved in with her, and for a little while, t…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/21 04:39 AM
1

She'll love that! Go you!
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/21 10:11 PM
12

You're terrified. It's gotten pathological. I would suggest you talk to a therapist about this problem -- plenty of good ones exist on Medicare, or you can go to a sliding-scale charity place, that was what I did when I was uninsured. Best care I'd ever gotten. When you are more secure in yourself: are you friends with your FMIL? Can you go to her for advice in becoming a woman more on their social level? The kind of things a daughter normally learns from her mother? It might be a way to cement …
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/21 10:03 PM
14

I'm going to gently point out that people who are raised in OP's level of poverty often do have issues, very real ones, and shaming those people seldom teaches them to be comfortable around money.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/21 09:57 PM
2

Okay, that helps! It makes sense now. Thank you so much.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/21 03:13 PM
19

Yeet the what-ifs, my love, the red pill is about reality and the reality here is that to him, at best, you're probably plate material. Concentrate on what you can do for yourself. If you think you have weight to lose, do that before you try more dating. Consider your balance of masculine to feminine traits (including appearance). Do you want to be the fuckable friend or do you want to be the woman a nice man eventually marries?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/21 09:38 PM
37

he judged me solely on my appearance Hinge encourages this. Free dating apps do. Lots of pictures, not as much text, and have you ever heard the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words"? But let's assume he saw the pictures and decided to date you anyway -- were the pictures accurate to your current appearance? I have gained a bit of weight Be honest about the amount and find a way to get new pictures if they're all of old, slimmer you. This is Online Dating 101. some commentary even being s…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/21 09:07 PM
1

you're imagining a guy with flaxen hair and a six pack You think I'm imagining that? Darling, you don't know me at all. I'd no more have the shite-encrusted neckbeard than I would Thor, it's just not appealing. Sorry, but you've stumbled on the person here who genuinely likes them in their forties, possibly divorced or widowed, mellowed out by life, and not perfectly muscled -- a little soft is a fine thing by that age, it's just age. I want to volunteer with pets on the side, and yeah, my husba…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/21 06:43 PM
1

I never said I wanted to party? You're confusing me with someone else? And the reasons I have felt less like a woman have zero to do with men. Men cannot change what I feel about myself in that respect. Do I want a man who'll let me nurture him, be kind to him, and generally not treat him like a walking wallet? Absolutely! That's why I'm in THIS space and not in OTHER spaces. Because I like the company of women who feel the same toward men.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/21 05:17 PM
2

I wouldn't want to be Paris Hilton for any reason but the money. And I don't party with friends. I don't have fun when I drink; I can count on one hand the number of times drunk people were any fun to be around for me. Also, Halle Berry regrew her hair. But she's an outlier in terms of beauty standards and it would take a flat miracle for the average woman to look just as amazing as she does with the same hair. To say nothing of different hair types benefiting from different haircuts (hint: I'm …
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 07:38 PM
1

A man didn't have to. I felt very masculine when I listened to women who were all "yeah, cut your hair, dress androgynously!!!" Regrets. Endless regrets. Because for months I looked in the mirror and all I saw was a boy. I felt dysphoric: I thought "uh oh, I've done something to myself that I can't undo in a snap, now I've got to live with it". At best I saw someone non-binary. At best. It was deeply distressing. Still is at times, my hair isn't back fully, but enough of it is there that I can s…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 05:28 PM
2

You'll be feminine because you are a woman expressing yourself Respectfully, this is one of the lies feminists tell other women to validate their own choices. I experienced this for myself.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 04:49 PM
3

Ulrich and Ruth Goodman will do you good. <3
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 03:18 AM
2

It's yes and no. The family is the unit that produces and therefore receives, in various ways. Post-IR, that "housework" is not as productive for the family except that she's saving the cost of a maid and we no longer have live-in/indentured servants. We don't trade our daughters out to another family to do the same, either. We live in much smaller, less mutually dependent units and individuation is far more the goal of raising a child than contributing to your family's good.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 03:11 AM
3

The Ulrich source is A Midwife's Tale, which I want everyone to read because it's just that good (find it here!!!) Wishlisting Clark, because now I want to know even more. Reading about the Hajnal line now.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 03:08 AM
2

This was different and it was the same. Yes, of course, these women stayed in the domestic sphere, but their economy of goods traded and services rendered absolutely mirrored how men did things -- there was just no money involved. Reading Ulrich on Ballard (A Midwife's Tale) is probably going to be the most enlightening thing you can do for yourself re: understanding a pre-Industrial Revolution economy.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 03:05 AM
1

He's not wrong, though. Ballard's diary again sheds light on the twinned economies, male and female. Female labor in the town Ballard lived in, now the capital of Maine, was this undercurrent going largely unrecorded -- Ballard as a midwife had cause to record it because she had to keep books, but you see how the bartering of tasks as well as domestic goods went a long way to support a household. Women prior to marriage worked hard in their homes and were loaned out to other families before they…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 02:36 AM
4

If marriage occurs at 26-30, almost no one can wait. Virgin brides become a thing of the past. [...] A thing becomes socially acceptable when a lot of people do it. If a lot of people are having sex outside marriage, then sex outside marriage becomes socially acceptable. This passage reminds me of Ulrich (my recent read) who noted through the diaries of Martha Ballard that in fact she delivered a fair number of bastard children; men generally did step up in those days, because society stepped up…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 02:30 AM
3

Women don’t tell other women incorrect ways to get and keep men. Women do. There are blue-pilled women out there and they will tell you to indulge yourself and your whims at every turn because this is all "valid", including "sleep with him if you want, it doesn't matter". But it does matter, looks like. I have been ripped to shreds for suggesting that racking up friendships with benefits isn't the best strategy. I'm invalidating women's choices! I can't tell you how sick I am of hearing that. La…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/21 11:43 PM
2

I appreciate all the time you've taken over me, for what it's worth. You didn't owe me anything and I've gotten good advice from you anyhow. "Adapt and overcome" is something I understand better. And all any of us can try is to do better once armed with information. Thank you so much.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/21 07:11 PM
2

Believe it or not, there are women who will fuck before dating. It's tremendously sad. It's not cute. There are men who will do that, too, but it appears to be the done thing for them. For the record, my count is two. And they were both men I was serious about. And I quote the adage about cows all the time. Needless to say I don't find myself at home in today's freewheeling feminist circles.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/21 07:08 PM
1

I'm great at handling things that a man just... doesn't want to be bothered with. I have experience in event planning and assisting in event planning, so yeah, that teaches you first mate skills pretty handily. I actually am feminine -- I made one costly hair mistake this winter that I'm kicking myself over because it opens people up to thinking "Is that a them?" I absolutely live for nurturing my mate; when I was in a relationship oh so many years ago, I loved welcoming him home with a hot bath…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/21 07:06 PM
3

Out of real curiosity: is there such a thing as RP women's rage? Is there an equivalent? It often feels like there could be, looking at how women have ruined things for other women. But I'm no expert.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/21 06:51 PM
2

Lord, a lady's got to be paranoid in order to be happy, hasn't she! Well, chalk it up to "haven't dated since 2014", and put exclusivity on the table early.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/21 04:59 PM
3

A "female entitlement"? Here I thought it was just the done thing, when you decide you're dating someone you stop fucking other people.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/21 04:47 PM
2

Eastern European ladies (y’all have the best style!) I know, right? Forget Paris, show me some Baltic beauty! "Back in the USSR" wasn't an inaccurate song...
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 08:28 PM
10

I'm in my mid-30s and I am actually aiming for mid-value. I don't really want the top 10%, I know I'm not top 10% and it would take a literal miracle for me to be that. But I'm not some bottom-of-the-barrel ex-carousel rider, either, and I'm hoping that mid-value still means shares values with me and I him. Worth comes in so many flavors. A pity so many people think there's only a few.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 06:41 PM
19

Wow. Some women THEY are. :( I get upset with women a lot because it feels like many have ruined it for those of us out here who are trying to be decent human beings. Hard to hate the game when the players are making rules that ensure everyone loses.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 06:08 PM
20

How is it less desirable for a woman to leave while a man is "improving" if he's spinning plates? He's cheating on her and she's, what, twiddling her thumbs?
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 06:00 PM
13

I had no idea being hypergamous was something to brag about. I rather saw it as an unfortunate affliction to be dealt with in oneself.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 06:04 AM
1

In that case, at least they're not married yet so time hasn't run out on them. They can afford to put it to bed until they can discuss it rationally, yes.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 05:57 AM
2

People split up about topics. That's normal. Nobody needs to cheat for me to say "Non-monogamy of any kind is a deal-breaker." Nobody needs to be pregnant for me to bring up the possibility of me being pregnant and hashing out what we would do in that situation. To me, this is a normal and usual way of negotiating and vetting. It's not dirty socks, which was an example I recall from your post on never fighting. It's so much bigger and nobody should have to shut up and eat their rage over their w…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/21 04:35 PM
16

When it comes specifically to the topic of abortion, you cannot leave room for "they'll change their mind". That's a whole human life hanging in the balance. The parties absolutely must be in agreement; a disabled child in particular needs extra care, a family that's 100% on board with a lifetime of looking after this human who did not consent to be born. If Daddy splits because this wasn't what he signed up for and Mummy knew it, that's hardly what's best for the child.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/21 10:52 PM
1

Are there men in your community that you can consult, like church members or teachers?
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/21 03:25 PM
3

I'm biromantic/heterosexual, I get this. The difference is that I'm not looking for men to tell me that women don't count because no penis, no problems!
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/21 02:07 AM
2

Apparently wet bags are a solution. There's a lady here who talks about it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/21 09:39 PM
3

I was, and she completely is -- she's been a geriatric nurse all her life, she's due to retire soon and come see us for a nice extended visit. Her whole life has been devoted to the care of others. Front-line worker, too, so we were terrified for her and are seriously hoping Delta numbers stay down at her hospital.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/21 09:37 PM
3

Auntie IS lovely, she's always tended to Mum's and my feminine sides when we've not had the means to splash out quite as much. She keeps my mum in her favorite face cream, and ummm I may have been the only girl with designer lipstick in middle school!
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/21 09:24 PM
2

Bathrooms usually have a bin for disposing of pads -- it's as simple as take your purse into the stall with you, quick change, wrap up the old one and pop it into the little bin.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/21 09:21 PM
1

I have this beautiful box of thin tights that my aunt has sent me over the years that I just never could touch in winter because it's too cold... but now I have a use for them :) She sends quality stuff, too, so I'd feel awful if I just never wore them. Best auntie.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/21 09:09 PM
5

I own a pair of those fleece-lined tights. I call them my skinned muppets because... well, that's exactly what they look like I did!
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/21 09:01 PM
6

A good coat can do marvelous things for you, if it's cut to fit you. I mean, it depends on what you call winter, but up here we definitely accumulate coat wardrobes. :) My go-tos in winter are wool midi skirts with leggings and tights and boots. I love turtlenecks and button-ups under sweaters on top. I'll also do sweaters, dresses, and leggings/tights/boots. But! In no way does that mean, if you have a rocking booty and a favorite pair of simple cute jeans, that you should stop wearing those! A…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/21 09:00 PM
1

cutting and pasting the same channel link isn't advice, my friend
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/21 04:02 AM
3

Plausible. I looked up someone else earlier and they were a member of tradfemsnark so I'm like "why did you actually post here" also, spoiler alert, I think the Hot Bisexual Girl is actually trolling for validation from men who will find her and her pals' adventures sexy
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/21 10:31 PM
1

Dang, we really have to check who everyone coming through here is, huh.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/21 10:10 PM
8

Without knowing more than "he's the new vet", you stalked him on the Internet, baked for him, and now you're profoundly upset that he has a girlfriend? You've invested far too much in a complete stranger. I hate that I'm always harping on about boundaries, but... boundaries, lass, boundaries. And realism. Most of us will likely end up with Mister Average because we are Miss Average (if we're lucky). We can do certain things to improve ourselves but jumping into the realm of Miss Well Above Avera…
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/21 06:29 PM
16

All I can say is you'd better hope nobody catches feelings.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/21 06:05 PM
16

I do think at some point I'd like to be married to a high value man So... what are women to you? Just a bit of fun on the side?
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/21 05:27 PM
12

You buried the disturbing part this deep in the comments? You should not be dating. You should be learning about healthy boundaries and why this is more horrifying than anything you said in your post.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/21 05:39 PM
1

I date them one at a time. I can give them my full attention that way. Things come up in conversation; we hash it out; we decide whether it will work. Best is subjective, of course, since what works for one woman surely will not for another. But best for me doesn't look like an alpha most days. It looks like a nice, calm beta who is sure of himself enough to be steel sharpening steel, not a doormat.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 04:19 PM
8

I'm not asking, thank God, because I have a feeling I'd be downright horrified. I wouldn't continue, full stop, if he were non-monogamous, pushing sex before I was ready, or dating casually.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 04:41 AM
8

You know, this isn't selling me on so-called "high-value men". They'll lie by omission when I believe in truth and openness? They'll be non-monogamous when I'm specifically dating for monogamy and commitment? He'll force the issue of sex by pointing at all his side chicks? Uh, that's not valuable to me. I hope I'm lower-value than these men would want. I'd rather pair off with someone who sees value the way I do.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 04:25 AM
12

That's nice for him, but how does woman #21 know she won't go the way of #1-#20? He'd need to work harder to gain my trust than Mr. Only Had 5 At Most, Preferably Fewer.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 03:54 AM
5

Depends on when he racked those 20 bodies up.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 03:45 AM
6

Reread 1 Corinthians 13. You appear to be speaking not out of love but out of bitterness over your failed marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 02:00 AM
2

That's true. The male "allies" of the 1960s-70s feminists nevertheless spread the gospel of free love -- blue-pilled as they came! But I need my red-pilled man to be grown and fully in himself, not still struggling. Someone who has come to a place of respect for himself and his partner.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 01:58 AM
1

tbh this is why I'm not pursuing a red-pilled man -- purple for me, thanks. Traits of both red and blue that have merged to create a decent human being.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 01:38 AM
51

Unicorn. Complete unicorn. A man who considers himself an alpha and doesn't sleep around? Hello, yes please, I would like one of those. I value continence in a man just as I'd hope a man values it in me. I don't hold with casual sex, I think it's made our society all the poorer. I don't think it makes for lasting marriages. Or marriages at all (why buy the cow, etc.). Personally, I hope to find a husband who doesn't believe that he needed a hoe phase any more than I believed I needed one.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/21 01:35 AM
1

You two look like you're in some pretty heavy emotions right now yourselves about a woman's idea that perhaps a man ought not to fuck around. It's almost like you're heavily invested in a man's right to fuck around, but not in a woman's security and happiness, and so you wouldn't be the type of men we would target for marriage anyway. So why be so concerned about the emotions she's supposedly in? She's looking out for herself, you're looking out for yourselves. You all want to make sure you get …
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/21 04:29 PM
14

He sounds emotionally healthy in ways that you could stand to learn from. Our exes are exes for a reason, right? So why are you not married to one of those emotionally closed-off nerds?
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/21 03:16 PM
3

You were speaking of the women whose histories I have studied and cherished. The women who aren't named in high school curricula but who left behind their diaries and therefore a record of how we lived. Guess who we'll be reading for similar history in 100 years? SAHM bloggers.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/21 12:49 AM
3

"History will never remember the little women for their occupation." You are blatantly wrong about this, but go ahead and tell Ruth Goodman and Laurel Thatcher Ulrich their work has been for nothing. Better yet, go and read them.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/21 11:21 PM
5

You know, one extremely feminine thing to do is to develop an inner censor that controls what you blurt out and what you keep to yourself. Someone else here mentioned tact and grace and this plays into that.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/21 11:15 PM
11

You aren't going to change him sexually, if that's what you want help doing. Is he otherwise an ordinary man socially and in his personality? And please for the love of God be careful what you, um... put there. You don't want to be a story passed 'round the ER at the end of the year, when they take out the box of stuff they've pried out of people's rear ends and have a good laugh.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/21 04:40 AM
4

There's a reason there were so many marriages in the direct aftermath of the deadly winter of 1620-21 in Plimoth Colony. They knew this stuff.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/21 04:38 AM
8

Women should do whatever is in front of them to do. If that means taking a less glorified role in order to support a man, it's not the end of the universe.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/21 03:21 AM
66

Why does my worth lie in being a main character? I think too many people are battling for the role of main character. They want to be so special. They don't understand that it's the destiny of 99.9% of us regardless of sex to be in the background. Everyone who makes history is an outlier in some way, except perhaps if your field is the history of the everyday, the domestic, things like clothes and homes and generally how we lived. Which is my complete jam, for the record. Because that history is…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/21 01:34 AM
9

I was fourteen, nearly fifteen, and it was perfect because I went slowly: hand-holding, close-mouthed kisses, that sort of thing. I learned how to function around boys, while practicing my skills on the poor men in my life! They must have been so baffled, poor things, I turned into a flirt. But they were honorable men who didn't take me a bit seriously. I think every girl should have men like that in her life. For daughters in particular, I think high school is right for individual dates, perhap…
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/21 01:14 AM
3

Seconding this. Wore a mask for years. Only shot myself in the foot. When burnout hit, it hit hard (and I was long enough recovering from it that it took me years to see how badly suited we had been all along). Part of nun mode is figuring out the face I want to present that is perfectly authentic without being too authentic, if that makes sense. -- Fond of a Good Crowbar, Myself
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/21 02:42 PM
1

HVMs who are academics themselves want a very smart woman and usually a PhD is a very high indicator of this. Until they dump her for the cute blonde coed who poses on cars half-naked. Watched it happen. Wife was model-gorgeous, but when he got it into his head that he'd prefer the coed, nothing was going to stop him, I guess! He ended up dumping that one in turn for a very average woman who actually has more in common with him than their career field.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/21 02:04 AM
0

Additionally, a lot of women in the US get offended when a prenup is brought up. Silly of them, especially if they have or expect to acquire assets of their own. I'm planning on a prenup; it's just fairer all around, though I desperately hope I never truly need it.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/21 01:57 AM
5

Evidently you didn't establish what you did want clearly enough. If you reply to him, do that. Loudly.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 07:57 PM
13

If a guy you’ve been friends with for 2 years unexpectedly makes a move on you and asks to be friends with benefits, does that indicate that he lacks respect for you? That depends. He could be a male feminist who thinks all of this is perfectly respectable, so he might believe that it's okay to just want to sleep with you. But if being FWB is distasteful to you, consider that maybe you're giving off the kind of vibes that you're open to such an offer. Assert the boundary that you are in fact not…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 07:31 PM
1

What do you want to be more feminine for? Just attracting men (no offense intended!) or your own betterment? Because if you want to be feminine for your own good, then it should be obvious: you do it everywhere it's practical. You make a whole lifestyle change.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 06:36 PM
5

Weight loss you're gonna wanna target about 100 lbs + 5 for every inch over 5 foot. You're not wrong about that weight ratio. I can tell you right now at one inch below five foot that I feel pudgy at 100. I'm deliberately targeting the 90-95 range, which is more like 19 BMI but on a smaller frame, that can be a better thing (my bone structure is on the delicate side).
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/21 12:42 AM
18

You could do worse than to start with the links helpfully catalogued under Mandatory Reading. :) I would not date right now if I were you. I would get right with myself before I even tried. In fact, I am doing just that. Right now, you might well be wasting your time if you attempted to date -- you may not be in the right frame of mind to choose well.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/21 09:30 PM
6

Once I'm out of nun mode, I plan to go on Match and eHarmony. I've always seen them as somewhat more serious. I might even try a Christian service, looking for other single Episcopalians. Approaches I tend to favor are polite, interested, looking for common ground, and serious about the possibility of a relationship because I will be dating for marriage. I am personally not interested in bearing children, but I can deal with a man who has, say, tweens and up. And that will be front and center in…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/21 09:22 PM
6

I think him sending pictures is cute and shows that he really wants to bring you into his world a little more. It's a sign of pursuit. "I'm not ready yet, can we have another date or two?" is polite and implies you will reciprocate when the time is right.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/21 03:51 PM
8

don't end up clueless like this chick Maybe if she modulated her strident, rather nasal voice, she'd have better luck. She sounds like she's one wrong order away from changing her name to Karen.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 11:55 PM
2

men are different because they are different and not because they are badly evolved women Another one for the list! Because yes! Men and women ARE different. Vive la difference. And I say that as someone who is biromantic. When I'm with a man, I'm with a man. When I'm with a woman, I'm intentionally with a woman, usually a very feminine one. I lose interest when there's too much crossover into the other sex (i.e. butches, especially femme men). I have reasons for choosing people. If I want a tot…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 11:40 PM
1

You are about the size and shape of my mother, who is considerably older so she should have more trouble losing weight. She walks an hour each day and has completely cut out desserts. She is losing weight. Both of us could do worse than to follow her example. :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 04:40 PM
5

I'm going to be a soft lass here and say that nobody should resort to violence except in true self-defense. I personally would not be proud of myself, as either sex, if I lost it and hit someone, "provoked" or not.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/21 11:45 PM
4

He said :" this may be an unpopular opinion, but I think people that abuse animals are worse than people that abuse humans, because very often the human who is being abused has done something to provoke the violence, while the animals are purely innocent." A joke has a punchline or... something to make it funny. A twist of some kind. Whereas I could hear this coming out of a hardcore vegan's mouth. Maybe not everyone's a comedian.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/21 11:33 PM
13

Red pill means we don't lie to make you feel better, we tell the truth. Adding this one to the list of truths I'm trying to follow in nun mode. It has that gravitas to it.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/21 02:06 AM
5

Braids could be very nice! Yes! Work that! Normally, people would say "moisture is your friend" but in some cases moisture is actually making the problem worse, or it needs to be a different type of moisture. Ummm... /r/Haircare might be a great place to ask? I saw your picture and to me, you're not ugly, you're just not paying attention. I would focus first on fit: you're wearing loose clothes, so maybe try something that hugs your body a little more. Get paint chips in colors you would wear an…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/21 01:45 AM
13

Oh, sweetheart. This one is not for keeps. This one is using you. If I were gazing lovingly at my partner after/during sex and he said "What?" I'd probably cry. He sounds a bit up himself, to be honest, and not like someone who respects you at all. One month sounds like not long enough time to have vetted him properly. I think you should take this as a lesson learned and walk away.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/21 01:35 AM
3

Medium long hair is good. Do you style it naturally or straighten it? I'd consider embracing a coily, bouncy style to offset some of the mean/stoic vibes. 5'5" is kind of a sweet spot when it comes to finding longer items to wear because as far as I've worked out, manufacturers cater to between 5'5"-5'9" when making things like maxi dresses and, uh, pants at all. Do you like dresses? I'm softer around the middle myself; I appreciate something that skims rather than cradles me there.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/21 01:30 AM
19

What am I doing wrong here? Having sex with him. It's something many men will gladly take if we hand it out, in lieu of having a real relationship. Do you know anything important about him yet? If he's keeping things very sexual then chances are he doesn't see you as more than a willing body.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/21 01:25 AM
3

I know nothing else about your appearance: how do you wear your hair? Are you tall, short, slim, curvy? I need a few more blanks filled in before I can begin to tell you what might look good on you.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/21 01:22 AM
6

Is it possible to be self-sufficient and do those things for yourself and still want the mental aspects of RP? The relationship dynamics?
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/21 01:38 AM
1

Depends on the doctor's specialty and the shifts he takes. Otherwise I'd say take the lawyer. You didn't exactly tell us anything else about these guys...
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/21 09:08 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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