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stRf1sh Archive

View 2 posts and 56 comments by stRf1sh on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

SELF IMPROVEMENTstRf1sh/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 09:39 PM
2

THEORYstRf1sh/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 04:35 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

When I met my boyfriend, I was so burnt out on dating. I think I opened my app bc of a notification and he was in my discovery. He had someone in his profile that we have in common so I liked it. He replied and said he was going out of town that week so I agreed to meet him before he left. I already had 2-3 dates lined up that week and I really didn’t want another date and I wasn’t sure how I was feeling about the other guys. But I said screw it I’ll just go get a beer after work like that would…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 09:46 PM
4

Be present!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 11:17 PM
2

I mean that’s not necessarily true. Just bc he didn’t like OP doesn’t mean he’ll be a piece of shit to someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 08:01 PM
1

I don’t think my boyfriend and I would’ve worked if we met when we were younger. So it can but accept circumstances in the present. Your ego is asking these questions bc you’re making this about you not being good enough for him. That’s not the truth. It’s not right, doesn’t matter why. Accept his no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 06:57 PM
1

It doesn’t matter the reason. He’s not right for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 06:55 PM
1

It’s hilarious to me now how much time I wasted being sad about certain men. My boyfriend now is such a better fit for me. We met at the right time. Instead of wasting time being sad back then, I could’ve spent that time enjoying my life as it was. Just trying to save you the grief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:48 PM
1

My reminding myself that my life is already great, what’s meant for me won’t pass me, focusing on what I want in a man and a relationship, and enjoying my life in the meantime. Not creating stories in my head about him being the only one for me, not creating stories in my head about life being unfair. Reminding myself plenty of people are still single and Meghan Markle didn’t even meet harry til she was 34 so there’s nothing wrong w still being single. Stop putting him on a pedastle. The sooner …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:46 PM
1

If he’s not into you or emotionally available then he’s not everything you want in a guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:43 PM
1

I’m happy it happened bc I met someone even better! You’re only upset bc you’re assuming you won’t meet someone better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:39 PM
1

That’s your ego talking. Don’t listen to it. Just trust your circumstances and that a better match for you is out there. I mean what other choice do you have?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:39 PM
2

Goodluck. Breaking up when you live together can be such a PIA. I’ve done it twice. I won’t live with someone again unless we’re getting married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:34 PM
3

Just not a good match. I trust that what’s meant for me won’t pass me. I want someone who wants eyes only for me! Also this has happened to me before and I’m not in a relationship w a man I like WAY better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:31 PM
0

I’d get engaged in under a year so I don’t agree w the whole it takes that long. That being said I don’t use FB a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 02:30 PM
3

Just stop caring about your friends agreeing with you? Let people have their own opinions lives and standards
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:55 PM
4

To be fair both are pretty important lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:09 PM
1

Nope
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:02 PM
0

You’re not wrong -but I view it like this: what can I control? I can control how I act on dates. I can be on time, a good listener, honest, and have solid boundaries. I can’t control if the guy puts effort in. If I go on a first date -sure, I’d rather the guy put effort in. But the fact of the matter is, some won’t. And I have the power to say, I’d rather not go on another date with you again! I don’t see any point in feeling any more frustrated than that. Also keep in mind, I went on probably 5…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:55 PM
1

I didn’t want to ask how long they last but more about how much of it they control. I actually like ask men over 30 for the most part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:44 PM
1

Maybe we should take tbis to ask men over 30!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:11 PM
3

Haha I’ve experienced both too including one that could barely get up at all! I mean I dk a whole lot about what goes into that and maybe some men have a real issue out of their control. What always was confusing to me was when they just acted like nothing was abnormal? I had a guy right before I met my bf who came in like 2 mins and just got up and was done. I was stunned! When I confronted him about it saying I no longer wanted to see him he was like “maybe were just not sexually compatible”. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:09 PM
0

I get the sentiment but I don’t think it’s worth our energy. Resentment is drinking poison hoping someone else dies. I mean maybe I’m just not meant for this sub? I agree w women standing up for themselves but there are always going to be people in the world doing shitty things. Seems weird to expect things from total strangers. I’d rather just cough it up to- he ain’t for me!! Getting frustrated by the lack of effort random men out into dating doesn’t really help us at all. Hope that makes sens…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:42 PM
1

Man I dk I’ve also been w some guys who didn’t even seem like they tried lol I think some don’t care and just race to finish. Most of the sex I’ve had has lasted even way longer than 11 minutes. And not under any special circumstance (like alcohol or drugs). Like I dk something doesn’t seem quite right here. 5-10 minute sex sounds like a real bummer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:36 PM
1

Well OP did say at the top of the post “and men complain about paying for dates” lol. I get what you’re saying but that was why I responded how I did. I’ve never felt upset about men not preparing for dates and truth be told, I typically didn’t plan real hard for 1st dates. I kind of just see dating as opportunities to meet people in hopes of finding a good match and don’t resent people or take it personally if they aren’t my match. Cant control other people. I like doing beauty shit bc I like f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:15 PM
1

2 book recommendations: How to be single and happy (don’t remember author) AND cursed (Jess Mccann). Really changed my outlook and made dating easier for me. I dk is this sort of thing gets downvoted on this subreddit but- focus on being a good person and being grateful for your life instead of “getting a man”. Be kind to people. Enjoy going out and having a drink even if a guy isn’t your guy. Doing so will help you have a vibe that’s attractive to HVM (I know bc I have one). Don’t give your pow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:55 PM
5

Well i think it’s best you accept that you’re assuming they care, and maybe you’re right, but the fact is no ones forcing you. I just think wanting a man to pay for dinner should be kept separate and not be seen as payback for beauty treatments. Payback mentality is a slippery slope. Good luck staying hairless lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:13 PM
5

I definitely take care of my appearance but I think viewing it as doing it FOR men is kind of giving your power away, don’t you think? I get my nails done and I do that for me, he probably doesn’t give a fuck about my nails.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:08 PM
1

And for the record, 9 months in and he still pays the bill when we go out to dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:05 PM
6

The day I met my boyfriend, my hair was in a messy bun, I had no makeup on, and had just worked a 12 hour day and he’s the only man I care about liking me LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 02:04 PM
8

Is this how long they last just going for it? Or how long they last if they’re TRYING not to cum bc there’s a huge difference. I’ve slept w guys who came fast but the majority of sex I’ve had in my lifetime has been w men who lasted far longer than 6 mins so I’m not buying this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:42 PM
11

I don’t see it as something men owe me for because I do it for me. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a man who buys me dinner but I don’t look at it as them owing me for my beauty routine. That sounds a little whack.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:36 PM
15

For me- it helps to not think w my ego. Who am I to think that I should make perfect decisions all the time? Ive always been doing my best. Doesn’t maya Angelou have a quote about accepting that you did your best w the knowledge you had at the time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 02:19 PM
3

I dk about your reaction but I have the feeling you’re not losing anything walking away. You guys don’t sound like a great match. I’m also on the left and I’ve dated guys to the right of me in the past. It was fine but always a bit irritating. My boyfriend now is prob more left than me! Didn’t know that was possible lol. I’m much happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 02:17 PM
1

Yea I mean honestly wording things that way likely works with women too, people just take better to positivity than demands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:55 AM
22

I’ve never been cheated on and know a lot of men who haven’t cheated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:13 PM
9

Man I dk if I was married I’d want some sort of combination. Also If you’re married it doesn’t even matter bc If you get divorced- depending on the state they can be entitled to money even if it’s in another account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:12 PM
3

I wrote a list of what I wanted in a partner with the help of my therapist. I focused more on how I wanted to FEEL rather than details (like height etc). Not to say attractiveness doesn’t matter- instead I wrote things like -we have a passionate relationship/I am attracted to him. Other things on my list were- wants to commit to me, makes me a priority, we laugh together, smart, kind, generous, loyal etc. The other thing is being in a place to say no. It took me a LOT of dates to find him. There…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 03:32 PM
2

I think everyone likes anything that’s hard to get. Why do you think retailers advertise things being limited quantity or about to sell out? As far as guys go- guys want to feel like you REALLY like them. Not like they’re just filling some role in your life. Same can go for girls. Would you want to be with some guy who was really lonely and just was desperate for a girlfriend? Or would you want to be with a guy who was happy being single and liked you so much that he wanted to be with you? It’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 05:47 PM
1

Your statement had a lot of assumptions that are not true as well.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 09:30 PM
1

You said I was courting another. Lots of things are problematic behavior. That’s the point of my question.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 05:47 PM
1

I don’t think he’s an alcoholic. It’s really only when football is on and he’s out w the guys.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 05:36 PM
1

Btw- I understand it doesn’t mean being a doormat- I just wasn’t sure how to apply it to this situation and she didn’t have a clear example in the book. Thank you for the feedback! I hear you on 2. He is definitely making strides and the more I’ve been Critical or fearful- the worse it’s been between us so I’m trying to detach a bit and focus on what he is doing to help me feel more comfortable and practice self care during other times.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 05:35 PM
1

Thank you! That clears it up for me. So helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 05:29 PM
1

That makes sense. I guess I’m wondering- If your boyfriend wants to move in before marriage, how do you state that you don’t want to until marriage without undermining his idea of doing it before marriage? Make sense? 2. He’s in his 30s and his friends are starting to slow down as they get married but I certainly wish the amount they drank was less. He doesn’t usually get belligerent but he does annoy me when he’s drunk and has on a few occasions gotten annoyed w me when I did nothing wrong. Tru…
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 05:13 PM
0

Already doing that step! I read a codependent devotional and have a therapist. I hear you on the hangover doing the nagging for you. How do you handle him WHEN he is drunk? We don’t live together so I’ve nicely opted out of hanging out when drinking is involved but this isn’t always doable.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 05:06 PM
2

Definitely give it 6 months to a year. I didn’t have issues w my man until about 5-6 months. We’ve been together 9 and it’s starting to turn around (partly bc I identified some of the behaviors I had that were making things off balance). It’s going to take time for you to see the negative sides and learn to weather them.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 02:03 PM
1

Have you read Laura Doyle? She gives pretty straightforward tips in her book
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/20 02:01 PM
2

More self care and allow him to pick up some chores?
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/20 08:45 PM
1

Nice I’ll check it out
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/20 02:33 AM
1

Just came across another quote- she says a desire never ends as a question but simple requests do. So maybe in this case a “would you like to go out to X this weekend?” Would suffice
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 09:42 PM
1

I remember more now what she said about that. The issue is if you ask for a date night but what you REALLY want is for him to WANT a date night w you, not just the date itself. So if he says yes to date night you don’t know if it’s out of obligation. I could see “wouldn’t it be great” being a great tool here. Like gosh I had such a nice time with you when we did X, wouldn’t it be great to have another night like that?
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 05:53 PM
2

I’ve never been cheated on and I have quite a few relationships under my belt
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 04:08 PM
1

Do you remember the story in her book about the woman who was separated from her husband but hooking up w him? I feel like the language she used there might apply nicely to your long distance situation.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 04:02 PM
1

Actually curious bc I’m new- Doyle also says to say your desire not the HOW. Wouldn’t asking for a specific date be the how if what you actually want is more time together? I know there was a story in her book about a situation like that but I can’t remember exactly. If I find it I’ll share what she said.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 03:55 PM
2

Haha even w that a lot of folks would get defensive but I do think sometimes this is probably necessary
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 03:54 PM
1

I so relate to this. I’m a similar age. Someone from reddit referred me to this page and Doyle yesterday! I see a therapist for similar things and just saw her. I didn’t mention Doyle but expressed to her that I think it would be beneficial for me to express what I want in a more positive way w my BF and she was all for it. I’m a big Gottman fan which on the surface is completely opposite but I personally think that Doyle fits in w therapy/Gottman advice, therapy/Gottman advice just doesn’t nece…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 03:47 PM
2

I dk it’s interesting bc statistically men benefit from marriage more than women. Maybe it’s bc they are so picky and not as eager?
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 03:36 PM
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