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t3ddi Archive

View 2 posts and 351 comments by t3ddi on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Self abuse and self abandonment. As if having sex with a man who thinks of other women as objects has no effect on your body, even without any stds. Its self harm. If he is that well off, divorce him and continue getting spousal support without having to traumatize yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/22 05:56 PM
5

Lets also not forget there is an element of sadism at play sometimes. They actually want it all. They want you to act like a pick me so they can power trip over you and then they want to play pursuant and act like a hero. Either way they get to be the pred.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 12:09 AM
8

I wonder if just by being on dating apps we are viewed this way by them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 11:52 PM
5

Coercive rapist. Is scientifically accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 11:43 PM
15

Teacher here. Even in that context it usually means you are a just major people pleasing martyr.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 01:14 AM
1

I don't think high value behaviour and polyamory equate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 01:11 AM
2

Friends like you are hard to come by. This isn't your loss. Keep your head up❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 01:10 AM
33

In my opinion PM behaviour is incredibly dangerous politically right now. We are losing our legal rights by the day. We can't afford not to call it out. Levelling up is not about being nice. However, it can be done assertively rather than dragging anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 03:58 AM
3

Disturbing. These men will commit serious crimes within their lifetimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/22 06:00 PM
4

Too much work. Fuck em' Although I will say this, you'd be an excellent investigator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/22 05:58 PM
3

Amen. Especially in the workplace/landlords.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 11:56 PM
1

I think assertiveness needs to graduate to aggressiveness here. Boundaries... is there a way to get her out of the house or leaving if you can't?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:53 PM
1

Well done! Loved this post, thanks for sharing. I hope the best continuing forward for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:41 PM
22

It is a measure of how depraved our society is... that this guy is in a stage and people are laughing along with this joke and not throwing an egg at his face. Deplorable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:36 PM
119

I'm a teacher and many of my colleagues confuse this position with a competition of who can be the biggest doer/martyr/pick-me. I have also noticed alot of them talk about dieting a bit too much for my taste. Its all about finding validation outside of themselves and I will likely be labelled an anti-social also because lately I've been absolutely having none of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:28 PM
19

When words are truly beautiful, its when they have actions behind them. That is why it is difficult to stand by creators that dont practice what they preach for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 06:06 PM
8

Because I look younger than I am/have a childlike air due to trauma... I find that whenever I stand up for myself, even in appropriate innocuous ways... it goes over poorly. Doesn't mean I'll stop doing it, but damn, do ppl ever want to burn the proverbial witch. They really want us to just stfu and serve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 05:05 PM
3

This reminds me of work. If want to see ultimate pick-me martyrdom for sport... shadow a teacher. Its unreal in some schools.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 05:02 PM
11

Education. I am vetting all female and male admin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 04:53 PM
10

Dan Broderick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 01:28 PM
0

Don't play games with stupid people. Its as simple as calling negging out and leaving the conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 06:46 PM
3

I find never making eye contact works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 10:44 PM
1

👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻exactly!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 05:57 PM
12

Watch the documentary created by his girlfriend. Anyone who has been involved with a narcissist can tell you, it can be like fireworks when you first meet them. Which further emphasizes the need to vet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 05:40 PM
19

My dad was one of them. My mom was a widow who lost her husband while pregnant and he thought to himself... let me make this situation worse. And it was one of the contributing to her u timely death by stress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 10:38 AM
31

Yep. Shannan Watts met Chris Watts in a vulnerable state, for example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 03:41 AM
42

The body keeps the score ❤️ so glad you have found a somatic process for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 03:40 AM
107

He is a narcopath. Glad you got out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 03:38 AM
10

I have a friend that can only get a divorce right now because her mom's own shady boyfriend is paying for it. He also paid for her sister's divorce. If I was married, I would be in a similar situation and also not be able to afford a divorce. It happens now too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 12:32 AM
48

However, a man approaching you means nothing. Most men that have approached me ended up being narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 11:39 PM
4

Thankyou for this post. I have been the combo of low self esteem/anxious attachment for too long in both relationships and workplaces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 10:51 PM
8

It has definitely kept me from finding work that doesn't bury me and destroy my mental health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 10:47 PM
12

I have been using FDS mindset in regards to job hunting. The same principles apply. No man would ever accept the usery I have been accustomed to in the workplace and neither will I going forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 10:45 PM
69

What an absolute loser. Wants to live a comic book fantasy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 02:21 AM
46

4 - I have to listen to myself more when I get that wigged out feeling when I'm talking to some of my friends I met over trauma bonding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 02:15 AM
41

I don't think the wife being 26 has anything to do with her understanding of right and wrong. This is Karla Homolka/Katherine Birnie type behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 02:03 AM
14

Imagine being a psychopath almost on the level of Katherine and David Birnie and not even realizing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 02:02 AM
45

I would bet money, that in the future he just hides it completely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 01:58 AM
5

Dude just wants someone to make him feel better about a decision he already knows was wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 08:31 PM
19

Men are very uncomfortable with intelligence, even when its muted for their comfort. Its not about sharing ideas to these men, its about domination over ideas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 08:29 PM
45

I notice shadiness in job interviews alot more now. They tell on themseves when they set things up like they expect you to jump through hoops and submit to shady requests right off the bat. They do the reveal of the shady info they are hiding that they conveniently left off of their job description.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 08:25 PM
7

Excellent advice. Thanks for putting it all together in a way that hits home❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 05:58 PM
6

I think its important to understand that a high paying occupation or upper level degree doesn't mean the person is wealthy or prestigious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 06:16 PM
80

"How does that make you feel." GREAT actually, because understanding that fundamental truth means I won't waste my entire life believing Disney a$$ romantic programming and get on with my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 08:59 PM
58

This is a perfect example of "they tell on themselves."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 08:57 PM
80

In general with narcopaths... if you position yourself as a non-judgemental observer, they will full heartedly take you up on the offer of being a confession booth. I have noticed this to be true. I worked in Criminal Justice so I have a more detached clinical view of criminal behaviour and I have noticed that people just confess everything to me (not just the personality disordered) like verbal vomit because I have that air of non-judgment. This summer I went on a trip with a co-worker who just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 08:54 PM
26

Anyone else notice a trend of abused women being involved with MLMs? I have several friends in abusive relationships who have done MLMs well past the sell by date of checking them out in your early 20s. It is like a coping mechanism. Also Shannan Watts was involved with MLMs heavily before her death.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 08:48 PM
30

If he was going to SB to do work then why is he invasively trying to force conversation on anyone?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 04:44 PM
30

I mean... aren't the "spicy photos" still porn? just of his girlfriend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 02:24 PM
11

I am saving this post to my phone to refer back to. I'm currently leaving a difficult work situation and this is what I need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 01:34 PM
142

On the other side of the coin though, I have known a big amount of intellectual types that use being well read to be condescending and arrogant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 02:40 AM
11

But like, how is the kid getting all of these dude's numbers?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 02:38 AM
7

Lol he was just a disappointed little gaslighter. Pay no attn. He weeded himself out nicely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 02:36 AM
33

I also tend to get called a lesbian when I do something men disagree with. I'm like... lesbians are awesome so... not sure what you are trying to accomplish here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 02:33 AM
2

Thats exactly right. You don't deserve this kind of behaviour❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 02:32 AM
54

This is why we must VET the women in leadership in our lives. We must ask ourselves, are they aware of their own internalized misogyny and conditioning enough to not throw other women under the bus. Are they more assertive than they are passive? It is a huge error in judgement to assume women are inherently more high value than men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 07:51 PM
21

This isn't a friend. She is essentially trying to sell you as an object without your consent. 🔪her off immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 07:47 PM
17

I hope your birthday wish comes true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 11:14 PM
11

I'm a teacher and I feel like the entire profession is a toxic mess of pick me - martyrdom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 03:35 PM
1

And usually have access to a dishwasher by that point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:20 PM
5

Right? Like imagine being so lazy that not having to close a lid on something is considered a dream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:19 PM
1

Yeah like actually I enjoy a good old fashioned dad drink thank-you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:16 PM
17

Idk, I can't trust a self admitted narcissist. Can't even watch his videos. If he is a narc, there is an ulterior motive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:12 PM
32

I wish OLD required criminal record checks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:08 PM
18

I think the advice to not show trauma is more realistic for some people than others. I was orphaned at a very young age for example and then passed around between abusive extended family members afterwards. Its difficult to explain my situation and the huge gaping hole where my family should be without sometimes just stating it like it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:05 PM
1

I did this novel/film with my class this year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:12 AM
44

Wow. Such a raging narc. Chad Everett, more like Chad Never-ett. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 01:41 PM
19

Yes. The only way to win is not to play.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 01:20 PM
5

Just as much as you look out for powertripping men in leadership roles, also look out for pick me behaviour in women in leadership roles. A passive leader is just as bad as a megalomaniac, in different ways. Not saying there can't be powertripping or people pleasing in both men and women. Just something to observe while you are looking out for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:07 PM
12

In terms of "giving back." You don't owe the world anything. Look out for yourself. It doesn't matter how good of a person you are to the world... I just say this because many trauma survivors believe they need to give back and end up pouring from an empty cup in one way or another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 04:43 PM
4

Shoutout to FDS teachers. This post is for you🥂 Engrave it into your soul. You are not a societal whipping post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 04:02 AM
1

Oddly, this has happened before... I can't remember the name of the case, but it was during the 1960s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 01:52 AM
5

Essentially the message in "The Gift of Fear." Instead of shaming abbhorent behaviour the media celebrates it and quelle suprise! all of the abusive pieces want a piece of the glory pie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 03:48 AM
16

Why are you entertaining this kind of low value behaviour whatsoever?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 03:23 AM
8

Narcs love ruining holidays. Its in their pathetic, predictable patterning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 05:03 PM
247

Jfc. The hatred is off the charts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:59 PM
25

Love how you labelled it abhorrent. Because that is exactly what it is. If just flies under the radar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:57 PM
0

Yes. And so many make the mistake of underestimating women's potential for premeditation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 04:40 AM
14

The Radium Girls. The companies lied and said they had syphilus to try to get out of lawsuits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:25 AM
3

How rich is it that they think we are just going to take this en masse.... that they can erase the last 50 years of rights we have gained and gotten used to... they really expect us to just get back down on our knees in our 1950s kitchens 😂 They really hate us... they don't think we are capable of forethought/organization and retribution. Which is ultimately how they are going to end up being the ones on their knees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:09 AM
5

I'd say take her ability to work away. Thats why RBG fought so hard on it. And guess who is conveniently gone now? Wouldn't be surprised if our right to work is not also challenged in my lifetime. Especially with all this ridiculous talk about low birth rates being a problem on a planet that can't even sustain itself currently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:04 AM
5

Or to hold anti vaxx accountable for variants. America will force a pregnancy but not a federal mask/vaxx mandate?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:02 AM
3

Yep. This is their response to finally being held accountable over the last several years as a result of me too. They didn't like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:00 AM
3

Yes. A life for a life. Sentence an unwilling woman to life with an undesired child... then the rapist gets life. Also, if its not a rape situation... which I mean if this goes through I think it will make coercion worse... but if it isn't, is the scrote that impregnates the woman going to be held financially responsible and parentally responsible as well? When the fuck are we going to include the man's biological accountability?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:55 AM
3

Don't be sorry. Its the entitled rapists of the earth that need to be sorry here. But never a woman who has remembered, resisted and has refused to comply❤️ Love you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:44 AM
10

I'm going to say nearly all of them...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:27 AM
7

Its funny they calles her dramatic when he made such a big deal about something so insignificant. Controlling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 01:49 PM
99

3 years for me and it was teenagers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 04:31 AM
2

I would never brag about being sarcastic but I am sarcastic and I don't that necessarily makes someone a narcissist. Its the bragging about being smarter than others that makes them narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:31 PM
3

My highschool students sport this kind of misogyny all the time, completely oblivious to their own privilege. Without fail there is always 1-2 pick-me in trainings backing them up also. Pretty disheartening! However, alot of my other students show startling empathy towards women and the disadvantaged at times, so its not all bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:30 PM
2

If you need a safe word, it probably ain't safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:25 PM
4

My skin looks better at 32 almost 33 than it did 5-6 years ago because I can afford to take care of it/have no lvm stress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:21 PM
2

I get you. I was orphaned at 9 and lost any remaining extended family and friends by proxy by 19. Abusive relationships, rape and an almost decade long age gap relationship that felt like a divorce when it ended by 28. I have the life experience of an elderly person and it makes it incredibly difficult to relate to anyone. I see my partner and friends making choices/mistakes that I know are absolutely going to lead them to nothing but pain but I can't really say anything because they just don't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 03:39 AM
40

The book is even better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:59 AM
9

I'm very concerned this person is going to be a doctor... but not surprised considering how abysmally shitty doctors are towards women. I've experienced it first hand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 03:46 AM
9

That guy is 100% a rapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 09:24 PM
3

Learned this the hard way. 100% agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 11:18 PM
18

This is rock solid advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 12:34 AM
22

No advice other than that with narcissists the only way to win is not to play. The void caused by the pain of losing your family will be filled with truth and peace. Not necessarily happiness in the way most people understand or define it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 12:15 AM
18

👏🏻I love to see it. I've been using FDS in the workplace also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:38 PM
6

Yep. You can never be good enough in Education. You do one thing right and you've done another thing wrong. Its an incredibly toxic career. I will be leaving as soon as an opportunity arises or at the very least I'll be vetting for that unicorn school that has it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 12:32 AM
3

Are you me? I have the same education. I am a classroom teacher but kicking myself everyday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 12:16 PM
6

Same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 11:59 PM
5

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 10:42 PM
6

As others have said, distance yourself. If you want to remain available then remain available, however, the reality of the situation is that she believed him before she believed in you. Otherwise she wouldn't have brought it up. I've seen and been in situationss like this, and in all cases the person trying to help just got thrown under the bus. People are only ready to change on their own accord. The best you can do sometimes is just be there for them when they get to that point, if you have th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 10:41 PM
7

https://www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_wudunn_our_century_s_greatest_injustice/up-next?language=en
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 04:13 PM
43

It isn't crazy. It would be the closest thing Earth has seen to heaven.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 03:38 AM
57

It is rich how its still called sex trafficking. God forbid we name it as slavery. Sex trafficking = slavery, witch = woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 03:36 AM
36

Amen. Malcolm X said it best when comparing the two. Women will rise up for themselves when it comes down to the hour. At least I know many of us will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 03:32 AM
53

If you are afraid. It is unfortunately because your gut instinct is correct. The root of the majority of violence is men. They will not react well to power structures changing. The good news is, is that you can have faith in women to stand and fight when it comes down to it. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but eventually the dam is going to break and the world will witness a study in feminine rage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 03:29 AM
20

I feel you on the noise levels... and also getting gaslighted by admin and policed for your tone of voice for trying to get a handle of it. Awful and toxic from the top industry. I often liken Education as a whole to an abusive lvm. I know it can be good... its like dating... schools need to be vetted, but I too will need to get away before even considering going back in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 04:52 PM
75

Fellow teacher looking to leave the field. So happy for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 04:30 AM
2

Case in point. My former bff, who is NOT in any real economic danger had her second child after her NVM revealed his worst cards out of competition with another of our friends in a DV situation. She said to me and I quote: "I know I'm just doing this to avoid myself, but I'm just going to do it anyways. I can't have her ahead of me." Women are capable of choices and some women know exactly what they are doing despite their situation. Also case in point: Karla Homolka.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:04 AM
1

If the abuser has a choice, then so do we. It would be regressive to believe otherwise. Women are capable of complex thought and choice. We aren't helpless. And we play a part in our own victimology after a certain point of realization. Source: Gift of Fear. Also, when a child is involved, you are now responsible for their safety. That need trumps yours, everytime. And if it doesn't, you are 100% guilty of neglect. No excuses to hide behind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 03:50 AM
24

Odd. I recently became much more "awake" about just how flippin' weird photo documenting culture is. Its so pornographic and invasive even in unrelated contexts. Its... voyeuristic and non consensual really. People have no idea what they have gotten themselves into.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:36 AM
2

Why did you stay? You stayed and paid for this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:57 PM
3

This. I just couldn't tolerate listening to the same bad decisions over and over again. It made me feel physically ill in my case because she has children she is neglecting by delaying getting her shit together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 12:34 AM
1

I've stopped interacting with my Pick Me friends/best friend of over a decade, because by giving them air time, I have only enabled them to delay making the changes they already know they need to make as grown ass adults.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 12:30 AM
1

Like her being in a throuple?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 12:15 AM
23

👌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 07:00 PM
46

The use of the word king is a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 01:32 AM
1

What gives me comfort is my own instinct and intuition and the fact that I know the truth about predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 02:08 PM
6

My pity wanes for them if they are getting closer to their 30s and still havn't snapped out of it. At that point they have probably had many people try to intervene but they continue making bad choices. Every case is different but that is my rule of thumb. If we want to say that abusers have a choice than so do we in lur own victimology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:53 PM
4

"I don't know what values are and thereby live by none." -pms
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:52 PM
12

Yes exactly, they tell on themselves!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:48 PM
8

I have a PickMeisha coworker that I had the displeasure of spending quality time with on a trip that I regret planning. She confessed to coming to our workplace high (we supervise children) bc her asshat lv pressured her into staying up late/doing drugs with her and she is a loud and proud racist bc he is and it emboldens her. She comes from a very good family that is trying to get him away from her but she doesnt realize it fully bc of her entitlement. She is in her late 20s so should be starti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:44 PM
4

I'd say the same thing when distancing away from PickMeishas. You aren't being too harsh. They will prove to you that you weren't being too harsh if you cave and re open the gates because of guilt. If they reform themselves, they will come to you with self reflection and honesty. You wont have to do anything so just stay away until that day if it ever comes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:37 PM
2

"You're really lucky I'm not some sort of rapist," said the obviously raging rapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:32 PM
4

"You ain't a soul mate, by ways and actions of a primate."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:30 PM
24

"Letting a man have a say in decorating." Amen... however the more HV the better the deco sense bc they have better interests/hobbies. My boyfriend is into space photography and generally I'd rather see space photos of interesting nebulae than Call of Duty posters and action figures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:30 PM
75

In Canada. Imo a worse offender than USA bc of covert passive aggressive racism and misogyny. USA is more overt. Something about someone acting like a saint but secretly being a raging pile is deeply upsetting to me. The hipocracy is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:24 PM
49

Good call. The "I'm boring" thing is a manipulation used by covert Cluster Bs to get you to validate and comfort them. Its a boundary violation and reeks of a lack of self confidence that you don't want to be building for someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:19 PM
10

Seconded. Their self esteem is so low they won't mind cutting you down to amp themselves up. Maybe its subconscious and they don't realize it. Doesn't matter - still dangerous. Cut them off immediately. If its a situation like a coworker, grey rock. Don't waste anytime letting your pity/empathy get the better of you. Trust me, it almost always backfires.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 04:04 AM
5

This. I have railed about this constantly. If we are going to change the culture of Narcissism in our society the absolute best thing we could do is raise the bar and make it seem like you are a loser for doing the negative behaviour (Gift of Fear). In a world where you get a trophy for participating and are called special just for the sake of it, there needs to be some accountability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 12:44 AM
4

This is so helpful. I often make excuses for toxic coworkers' but the reality is, I wouldn't put them in the position they put me in. So why do I allow it to continue?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 12:35 AM
13

Agreed, but I find it interesting that you are basically still recommending romance literature... it still perpetuates some of the same ideas, even if its more high brow. Not that it wasn't a statement for women in their time (Brontes' Austen) I'd say branch off from white authors. Toni Morrison, Audre Lord, Maya Angelou... On the other hand, in defence of "trashy" romance novels, that documentary on Jackie Collins on Netflix that recently came out was very illuminating and made me see the indus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 03:33 PM
2

Another less likely but still technically possible explanation... bulemia. It gets messy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:44 PM
12

Malcolm X literally described Liberal men as wolves in sheeps clothing. Liberalism does not equal enlightened... an inability to see politics from either side is just a lack of critical thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:31 PM
8

Early 30s, Social Studies/HS teacher. I feel you... I witness a lot of baldface misogyny in the classroom. I don't know if I am sane per say lol. I just try to change thought processes into more critical ones brick by brick... plant seeds. Etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 10:35 PM
20

Rock solid✊🏻👌🏻 So inspiring. I will remember this next time I'm at risk of letting someone walk all over me and gain strength.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 01:28 AM
11

Happy birthday! Stay strong, you deserve better anyways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 01:25 AM
19

Lol. This reminds me of the PickMeisha I dealt with all last weekend who put down my healthy relationship to justify her shitty relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 07:19 PM
1

Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 07:18 PM
1

Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 07:18 PM
6

I needed ALL of this advice. Thank younso much ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 07:59 PM
15

🤣👌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 07:56 PM
4

Exactly this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 07:53 PM
48

Thank-you for this. Just had an absolutely awful weekend with a covert pick-me coworker and I completely shut down when I should have stood up for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 07:48 PM
25

I love this. Thank-you! I'm definitely going to use this. I almost just got passed off by my male doctor as not having Scoliosis bc. I don't have back pain specifically (I have severe shoulder and neck tension). My massage therapist encouraged me to ask for an xray bc she strongly believed I had it. I asked him to do the xray and sure enough! Imagine had I not pushed him? How much further would the curve have progessed. Also a piss off because I'm 32 and noone before this thought to xray my back…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:05 PM
57

My mother died because of this. She grew to distrust doctors entirely and didn't go at all near the end and had massive heart failure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 02:57 PM
23

If I could quantify in words, how disappointed I am in the medical "care" I have received by a gross amount of doctors... I couldn't... because it literally leaves my speechless. I have self diagnosed some pretty serious conditions and have been right every time but only after pushing, sometimes for years, for answers. I will say this, when you get a good doctor though... its like you get a REALLY good one. Or one that will at least humour your ideas if you are intuitive with your body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 02:55 PM
11

True story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 02:50 PM
43

Thankyou... for putting into words, what I have long suspected about the way I am perceived at work. I just went on a weekend trip with one of these women from work and it was fucking awful. The entire time was an attack on me to make her feel more secure. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 01:58 PM
1

I have spoken to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 04:15 AM
1

Inclusion is basically a coverup for no longer having designated special needs teachers and not wanting to train/pay regular teachers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:53 AM
2

Boys especially get passed along, despite obvious and raging video game addictions because coddling them is normalized. God forbid you suggest that the reason someone's son is up in her face is because he has literally never heard the word "no" in his life and you keep handing him the console that is ruining him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:52 AM
3

Yes. I am anorexic and I was in a 3 year relationship with a man that hid his crimes against teenagers. I was groomed and targeted bc I am a small woman by him 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 11:14 PM
1

Loved this and it really helps! Thankyou🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:52 AM
4

Sometimes lazy ones and sometimes it has to do with economics/mental health and not being able to keep up financially or emotionally and therefore not having tome or resources to raise a child adequately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:44 AM
27

Public School teacher here. Its literally bc "inclusion" where every kid gets passed bc. customer service to parents and lack of funding/support to make it for a for real idea with traction. Mic drop!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:39 AM
2

I don't even engage or say something like: "yeah but men aren't raped and murdered in shocking daily numbers" and that generally shuts the convo down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:52 PM
3

I worked for an ultra orthodox institution and I don't think people realize how misogynistic the entire enterprise is. Shockingly misogynistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:43 PM
8

Yes! also Martha Moxley Kennedy connection. I was trying to remember the name of Mary Jo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:28 PM
21

Lets also not forget the whole Skakyl (sp?)/Martha Moxley murder Kennedy connection also. Pretty sure there was another woman that ended up mysteriously dead connected to them also. That is at least 3 if you count MM. Another thing, Joe Kennedy strung along the actress in Sunset Blvd and treated her like shit when she is a Queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:26 PM
17

I passion hate JFK. It sickens me that people glorify him when he had no empathy for women. He was your classic liberal wolf in sheeps clothing using the oppressed/tolkenizing them to look good. Pretty sure he helped drive MM to suicide also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:25 PM
3

This post was illuminating. Thankyou! I learned something today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:19 PM
28

Porn and video games ruin young men. If you sat in my classroom you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between full blown drug addicts and these boys. Its that sad. Without even telling you which ones, you'd be able to pick them out. I try my best to play to the highest acheiving kids, rather than letting the kids with zero focus/effort (although I'm fully aware this is also poor parenting) lower the bar. Its difficult though when you are pushed into the fire of "inclusions" with abysmal su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:18 PM
36

Yep. Dated a covert pedo. Found out by finding his mugshot on an online newspaper. I have had a lot of bad things happen to me in my life, including being orphaned at 9, but nothing has impacted me more negatively than my relationship with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:13 PM
20

I just posted about it before I saw this. The offering to fix things is def a ploy for her to be indebted to him as Gavin described.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:07 PM
2

He is offering to do repairs so that you are indebted to him. Pred tactic (read: Gift of Fear).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:06 PM
147

I feel it too. She is radiant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:04 PM
52

This, also. My ex is doing this with his current girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:03 PM
47

This. Which is essentially one of the themes of "Eyes Wide Shut" (re: Nicole Kidman's monologue)😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:02 PM
12

Bang on. As it states in "The Gift of Fear," if we are going to admit that abusers have a choice in abusing us, we too have a choice in accepting it. Its hard and it takes a lot, but at some point you have to look in the mirror and stop accepting your own bullshit and commit to better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:58 PM
1

Thankyou for this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:32 PM
12

Its true. Look at anybody who had anything worth saying... bad things can happen to people who tell the truth. It isn't easy by a long shot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:23 PM
4

❤️Precisely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:22 PM
2

Lmao🥲 So dark.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:58 PM
1

Intergenerational trauma. Its a reason - not an excuse. But I will say this, for some more than others, its very difficult to overcome. Its best to be compassionate and non judgemental, not that that means that you hang out with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:25 PM
2

lmaooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 06:44 PM
29

"I've got a demon inside of me." "When I look in the mirror I can see the demon sometimes."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 06:40 PM
2

Legit! My ex narc secret pedo boyfriend said this line almost word for word. My alcoholic ex said it about his alcoholism before him. Recently another man said it to me and I recognized the flag'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 06:40 PM
2

I absolutely love this <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 09:04 PM
11

I hope so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 08:58 PM
3

Words cannot express how much this story ignites an absolutely engulfing righteous anger within me. Disgusting lack of empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 08:57 PM
1

Thankyou for this. I needed to hear it. Slapped back to reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 07:30 PM
2

Also a teacher and can confirm. Always get the "if I was in your class when I was a boy..." comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 06:19 PM
2

<3<3<3<3 Remember. Resist. Do not comply! HVM or nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 05:45 PM
6

Yes this. Many good men that I know still suffer from very low EQ because of the societal environment we live in. It is so sad to be close to someone and see they have a good heart but are wholy unable to express that appropriately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:38 PM
17

This made me lol internally pretty hard. Would you like some popcorn with your latte Georgina?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:33 PM
20

This is what will happen to at least a few of the boys I teach
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:29 PM
32

Yes. As Gavin de Becker basically puts it. They get glorified by media and that is part of the problem. They need to be shamed and not get attention for brutality. Police are one of the few agencies left not blowing smoke up Narc asses in that regard. Unless society somehow collectively spins on its heels and stops glorifying narcissism, thereby giving rhem an incentive to stop the behaviour to fit in and get supply, we need law enforcement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 01:00 PM
28

I understand what you are saying but for some of us, it has literally been rape since we were children. Thats a big enough problem, and enough men have committed it. that it doesn't pay to believe in men at a certain point or give them the benefit of the doubt. I am with a HVM and its not enough. I believe in good men and its still not enough. There are too many women left behind, so they don't get any credit until they take accountability as a group. The societal structure is absolutely flawed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 12:50 PM
3

Oh, I am loving this post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:15 AM
12

Its the logical response. It is systematic. We can make a book of rules, or we can dismantle the prison we are in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:58 PM
4

Remember. Resist. Do no comply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:03 AM
8

It happened to me and I don't even remember the details. I blacked it all out from memory. The only reason I know it happened is because directly after it happened I told my best friend and she remembers it. Its the only thing I literally have no memory of, and I've been through alot. So traumatic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:03 AM
11

I fucking love this. THANK YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:52 AM
8

This is very helpful and insightful. I definitely have a "rescue me from an absent or abusive father" narrative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:59 PM
49

Can confirm. My first experience was: "if you don't have sex with me, you can't live here anymore." I was there because I was fleeing my abusive family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:58 AM
4

Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:53 AM
9

This is exactly right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:47 AM
4

Spinster and Ovarit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:41 AM
2

Wow. Now thats a hero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:34 AM
1

Thanks for this❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:28 AM
3

Whoop. There it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:23 AM
5

I've gone through many phases with my looks. I sadly got the most male attention when I was at my most unhealthy with an eating disorder. Now that I carry myself with confidence, I still get attention but its usually to neg me in some way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:21 AM
2

For me, it was very closely after finding my ex boyfriend's (who I met on an app) mugshot in a newspaper for trying to solicit sex from a 14 year old. The opioid nature of narcissism just felt very boring and depressing after that. I'm still not emotionally the same. I was orphaned as a young child but I wasnt emotionally hardened until this experience. I am only just warming up to people again, 4 years after the fact. Today at work, my friend asked me a question and my first thought was "she is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:16 AM
2

You literally can't fucking win. I was horribly bullied for my appearance/being fat and ugly as a kid. Now people hate me/take a long time to warm up to me bc my beauty brings out their insecurities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:09 AM
2

Question, how did you start/what did you start with. I've always wanted to get better at sewing but would be starting with nothing/am on a budget to pay off student loans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:05 AM
1

It is. We can really gain ground here. Its very important work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:02 AM
1

They are especially dangerous if you have an addiction/trauma bond to narcissists. Love FDS for creating awareness about this. Hearing apps being called out probably saved my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:02 AM
1

Or, "I'm liberal, I tokenize people of colour with impunity and expect a woke cookie for it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:59 AM
1

Love that he tagged himself "liberal." Yeah of course you are you fucking pig.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:58 AM
4

7 years wasted, for what? You'll soon come to find, you were alone that entire time anyways and kick yourself. Don't draw it out any longer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:56 AM
2

Can confirm. My ex almost died in a hot tub after drinking a bottle of whiskey. He now escapes life via video games. There were many other addictions in between. They are always looking for a way out. They aren't even here, let alone with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:55 AM
3

No video game consoles. I'm not exaggerating when I say almost every middle school-high school aged boy that is a gamer has a pickled brain because of this. It literally cripples boys academically. Girls dont seem to have this problem. Some of my boys have got up in their mom's faces over video games also. Another thing, parental controls on social media... if I had a dollar for everytime my EA or some other person has seen a nude picture of a girl flash on a Sr. High boy's phone during break, I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:51 AM
5

Yep. That is how my socipathic pedophile ex mirrored me in. Used the fact that I was an orphan and rape survivor to groom me. He was an orphan too (probably wasnt). He was everything I wanted him to be. For a short period time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:47 AM
2

Love this' saved to my phone. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:45 AM
2

I feel the same way about liberalism that Malcolm X did. Foxes in the hen house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:42 AM
11

My uncle (my u and a were my guardians) leaving in the middle of these big 1950s style neighbourhood gathering parties my aunt wljld put on, to go to bed early... at like 7pm, leaving her to host the entire thing by herself. She was a very cold narcissist but as an adult I can see where the resentment came from. That^ and him working in another country/leaving her with the kids for weeks alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:38 AM
39

So much music is tained by misogyny/internalized misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:33 AM
17

Also in debt bc of an nvm❤️ Keep going. You will rise again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:21 AM
1

Agreed. Dead on analysis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 04:00 AM
36

Also every retail male boss I've ever had.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:50 AM
12

Before anything else, you will need a trauma informed therapist immediately. Don't wait on this and don't under estimate how bad the PTSD will be. I wasn't married but I was with someone who committed a very serious crime and hid it from me. Nothing changes your worldview like being with a sociopath. Nothing tests your resolve and your will to live and your sense of reality in the same way. Please seek help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:46 AM
33

In my life alone, my father (likely lied about being married beforehand - can't verify bc my mom died after battling her own complex ptsd) conned my mother, had me, abandoned us. My first three full on sexual encounters were rapes by three separate individuals. One that gave me an std and blamed me for it. I had two years long, long cons where the men acted like they loved me and wanted a relationship only to get sex, one of which turned out to be a pedophile. The last one, was hands down the mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 03:36 AM
10

And they want you to do this in many cases in which they cannot adequately financially/emotionally support you. I am not a pez dispenser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:03 PM
17

How glib and totally revealing that he has a personality disorder/a narc wearing human skin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:00 PM
15

I love the twist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:59 PM
13

I'm sorry, fuck him! You are awesome and resourceful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:58 PM
240

I will say this though, Shannan Watts had mentioned one if the reasons she married Chris Watts was that he let her sleep in his lap when she was sick for several hours. He ended up murdering their entire family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:56 PM
26

Amen. If I listened to some therapists/psychiatrists I'd be in a medication induced coma from the horse tranquilizers they tried to give me or locked away in an institution to get me to shut up to be another willing cog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:14 AM
22

I've literally had a psychiatrist tell me, that I (with PTSD) didnt capitulate to his incorrect diagnosis of me, that he was the doctor and I was the patient and that my "prognosis was dim and I'd be in the hospital by the end of the year." 5 years later. Tried to put me on tegretol (a dangerous anti seizure drug) to so called bipolar. I was really just reacting correctly to multiple rapes/being orphaned at a young age/trauma. I agree with you completely. I have had 1 therapist and a group thera…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:12 AM
7

I'd argue that Canada is equally as racist as America but in fact more insidious/subversive. Our own Prime Minister tokenized people of colour to get elected. Many white people in Canada are in deep denial about how racist they actually are. Tokenization to sell white ideologies is as common as breathing. It depresses me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:42 AM
2

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:42 AM
3

Love this. Keep going, you are doing just fine <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:42 AM
17

He looks, like he smells like garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:34 AM
18

Thank-you, needed this reminder <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:28 AM
12

So happy other people can see "inquiry learning" and "inclusion" for what it really is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:17 AM
19

Teacher here. Video games have a very real and profound effect on boys' learning capabilities specifically. Especially when mixed with entitlement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:16 AM
4

This is en pointe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:10 AM
1

This really got me thinking about the uptick of serial murders of women in the 1970s. There are a lot of factors but I never considered that it also coincided with the strong feminist movement at the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:56 AM
1

Its just another thing shady people throw out there to avoid facing their problems. They want a third party to fix whatever issue it is they are having instead of doing the work or moving on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:49 AM
2

Totally. I've been watching the latest David Attenburough (sp?) special on "colour" in the animal kingdom and have been thinking this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 01:45 AM
3

I feel you, until I changed careers I was sexually harrassed at almost every retail job I had. I work in a female dominated industry now and know that is the only reason I have been somewhat protected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:51 AM
2

Here. Here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:20 AM
7

I think this is happening to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 06:17 PM
34

I've learned more from that book than an entire Criminology degree. Can't recommend it enough!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:02 AM
63

I needed to hear this story more than you know. Thankyou!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:58 PM
7

I mean... isn't almost all crime committed by men who hate women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 08:45 PM
4

Yes. This. Ie. The Birdman of Alcatraz and many other prison animal programs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:55 AM
8

That book is pure gold. Has literally changed my life and understanding of crime above and beyond already having a Criminology degree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:53 AM
6

Perfectly, succinctly stated truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:22 AM
5

Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 06:27 PM
20

Teacher. Can confirm parents give boys way more leeway when they are bombing academics due to video game addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 06:30 PM
2

My understanding from reading "The Gift of Fear" is that letters and offers like this only prolong the relationship and allow the abuser access to you. Consult a lawyer. It is a life changing amount of money but its designed to keep you on the hook and in relationship no matter how remote with him, so I wouldn't accept the money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:06 PM
11

That is exactly. right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:16 PM
2

Thank-you so much for sharing this research \^ providing these links.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:32 AM
7

I see it in my male high school students especially. They spout off disturbing stuff they have read online quite a bit. Even more disturbing, both girls and boys across all the grades I teach have made consistent comments that openly display their hatred for feminists. They are clearly not getting these ideas themselves (They can't even finish an essay in a week, stringing together coherent thoughts let alone come up with these ideas on their own). Every time it happens my heart breaks a little.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:26 AM
6

Every man that I have ever been sexually involved with, with the exception of two, turned out to be a sex offender or had some form of problematic coercive behaviour that would inevitably lead them to becoming one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:19 AM
4

Just an fyi, I don't know how often this is talked about on here but pedophiles target smaller women/women with eating disorders to groom and infantilize. True story. Me - the recovering groomed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:09 AM
5

I have experienced some pretty interesting behaviours as a result of my being honest about being raped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 01:07 AM
5

Yes. Lets pick ourselves off of the dusty floor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 12:41 PM
24

I needed to hear this bc it was the response after teaching intergen. trauma to one of my classes. It was deeply upsetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 12:38 PM
2

Thank-you so much for the detailed response and the targeted suggestions! I am especially interested in the second link.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:49 PM
79

It literally makes me insane how predatory pur culture is towards people starting out in life. Its disturbing and devastating to realize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:35 PM
11

I don't have many friends because I recently vetted all of the women in my life who are pick-mes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:15 PM
7

I was recently reading through all of the posts about how dating policemen is too hazardous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 09:14 PM
2

Thank-you for this. Beautifully worded!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 01:41 PM
44

Yeah like I don't know many woman that havn't experienced it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 01:38 PM
2

Exactly. You deserve to have preferences!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 01:35 PM
34

I saw that article and immediately came here to see the reaction😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 01:34 PM
3

You say everything I have suspected so eloquently in terms of heritability. A psychiatrist with a god complex once tried to diagnose me and my trauma with bipolar and horse tranquilize me. He said if I didn't do as he said, I'd end up in the hospital within a year. That was almost a decade ago now though so... anyways sincerely' you have a way with well researched words. Thats the kind of voice I'd like to have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:41 AM
3

Can I just say I'm blown away by how informative this post is? I am definitely going to have to look into Dutton now. Thankyou for this. The Sartre quote was a brilliant hook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:36 AM
2

Jank as all hell. Totally accurate depiction of the sorry state of their species.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:56 AM
2

Beautifully written out and disseminated. You've got the truth. What do you need them for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:55 AM
2

I found that when I stopped stepping in to offer advice or a fox to pick-me/low self esteemed friends. They stopped calling. Our friendships for in some cases over a decade, were nothing. Literally my denial of reality come back to haunt me in another layer but hey, if we want the good in life we have to start here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:11 AM
1

Damn. I feel this. Its better to be alone and open to safety than forever closed off in a dissociated fantasy. Even for people we have loved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:06 AM
3

Yes. I have Hashimoto's thyroid disease, eosinophilic esophagitis and angioedema. I also have low complement proteins so I am immunocompromised. Notice how these diseases are all in the throat. Not that I fully believe in it but the throat chakra can be blocked by a lack of agency and voice. Something we tend to lose when abused/codependant. It could alsobe the long term effects of anorexia/bullemia as a result of cptsd. I am currently delving into body work after years of cognitive/mind based t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:56 PM
21

Narc matriarchs are very real and they destroy lives/perpetuate narcissistic family units. And yes, matrianarcs are generally pick mes'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:30 PM
1

My ex best friend, who is a single mom (pick-meisha extraordinaire - separated from nv ex husband), was lured by some woman on Insagram into some sort of course on how to sell shit on that website^ I tried to get her on FDS and it didn't stick. I am no longer friends with her because of it. She is now neglecting her children to service creeps on there, charging for her communication by the minute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:23 AM
1

I think alot of women are unaware of the history. Disconnected history is the root of all evil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 04:06 AM
2

And for all the years. Sometimes I let myself think about it and it blows me away. They just take and take and take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:58 AM
2

Oh and that Fifth Estate thing that came out yesterday about the prison system sending sex offenders to offer therapy to mentally ill women in Ontario. The list goes on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 05:45 PM
2

Thanks for putting this all into words. Sometimes I think Canada is possibly the most misogynistic place on earth. After all we are home to two of the most heinous acts of mass murder against women. All under the guise of passive aggressive, liberal politeness. Our own PM uses women as tolkens to make himself appear above board.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 05:41 PM
8

Ugh, one of my high school students keeps asking if we can listen to Joe Rogan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 05:05 PM
38

You know what, this is disgusting but I'm not surprised. I've been thinking alot about the predatory nature of univerisities - financially speaking. For example, they set up credit card tents and sign young ppl with little to no financial literacy or understanding of debt. They need to be better regulated and checked from time to time. This is turning into a bit of a rant but I remember during my first degree I did my practicum at a halfway house for federal male sex offenders/murderers etc. and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:25 PM
35

True horror story of pick-me behaviour: Karla Homolka.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:12 PM
6

I have had experiences with two really amazing male psychiatrists. However because of the one that told me "I'm the doctor and you are the patient and you will do as I tell your or your prognosis is dim - you will end up in the hospital by the end of the year" in response to my hesitation to take a daily dose of what I can only describe as a horse tranquilizer, I no longer trust them unless recommended by a woman or working alongside women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:07 PM
4

There is a very well known liberal politician who did this very thing. True story!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 03:19 PM
26

Amen. If we concede that criminals have a choice/mens rea in their behaviour then we too have a choice to protect ourselves once we've recognized a pattern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 03:13 PM
26

I am floored that this was even legal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 03:09 PM
6

The only kind of "SK" story I like to hear. Love how she schooled that animal. SK's get way too much glory. I hope I see the day where stories like this dominate the airwaves in regards to crime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 08:07 PM
8

Not even just college. My former best friend's ex husband cheated on her, while she was pregnant with their first child and then told her how much more fun it was to have sex with a thin woman than her. At the time they weren't married and she went into complete abject denial and still married him, having a second child with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:55 PM
61

You should read "the gift of fear." If we believe that abusers make a choice to abuse, we then have to concede that, in many cases we have a choice to protect our safety or not. To allow this behaviour, or not. Obviously there are exceptions due to Stolkholm Syndrome but in many cases the writing was pretty clearly written on the wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:44 PM
3

This is why what I like to call the "unmothers" are ostracized so hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:28 PM
3

Ugh. So true. Its so frustrating. Switching to a profession that was traditionally a "woman's profession" has made things a little easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:16 PM
14

I have a friend that is dabbling in sex work. She has 2 small children. I've tried showing her things from FDS but it isnt absorbing and I can't even talk to her anymore. She knows better and still participates. The line between denial and negligence is a thin one. So sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:12 PM
27

Malcolm X commented on the difference between Conservatives and Liberals. He had some powerful things to say about this topic in terms of race.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:01 PM
27

"I'd be in jail for murder." 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 12:54 AM
7

Needed this❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 12:52 AM
3

Thanks for this. I needed this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 12:51 AM
3

So glad someone finally mentioned this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:02 PM
8

Most violent crimes, in general, are committed by someone close to the victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 01:58 PM
7

This made me feel physically ill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 01:56 PM
16

The majority of my sexual relationships have been based off of coercion. Limiting sexual contact is the only protection we have against insane odds of heinous levels of con artistry out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 01:54 PM
25

Its so disheartening but absolutely true. The yoke is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 01:37 PM
80

I hear your anger. Its the question of, when is it time to pick yourself up off the floor? How long can we continue acknowledging that abuser's have a choice and by proxy so do we? Why continue the cycle?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 03:04 PM
27

Omg the Alexa thing. Now that is disturbing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 02:58 PM
12

Yes. Its denial at its finest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 02:57 PM
32

He looks greasy and poorly dressed. He doesn't look like he has any money. Either way its gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 03:43 AM
38

I mean there were many reasons but being a convicted pedophile and hiding it probably takes the shit cake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:50 AM
1

This was brilliant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:47 AM
3

Its not petty when you bought it with your hard earned cash. You did everything right in making that fucker pay. You are powerful, don't forget it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:46 AM
21

This happened to once. I just realized it. Also lots of idiots have asked me "If I'm real" on OLD in the past. Whatever the fuck that means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:43 AM
10

This has already escalated into physical violence... not "will escalate." Next time I hope she puts the fucking phone down, stops filming and calls the police. If you are in a similar situation and can't see through the fog - read "The Gift of Fear."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:40 AM
20

They are so ridiculously emotionally inept and illiterate they don't even understand that anger is an emotion and then they see themselves as an admirably stoic, which is particularly rich considering women are actually the most emotionally stoic people on this planet to put up with we do without resorting to the same levels of violence that they are triggered so easily into.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:34 AM
25

You made me lauuuuuugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:31 AM
3

Loving this <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:31 AM
4

I'm going to print this off and keep a copy of it as a reminder at all times, even for potential female friendships - lol *defeated laughter*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:30 AM
14

Can confirm. They run in packs. I observe it all the time with my male high school students. They can be nice kids on their own but when they were "with their bros" they turn into idiots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:28 AM
5

A HVM to me would very well know what their brethren are like and understand WHY you are apologizing but wouldn't take credit for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:24 AM
2

They literally actually believe they can buy us like property. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:21 AM
57

And by pred men, we mean like 97% of them. Hence why this vetting process is SO crucial. .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:14 AM
7

Its super messed up he was sober the whole time. Stone cold rapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:30 AM
5

Ty Queen for this reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:15 AM
10

Its so weird. I've been struggling with this so much lately and boom! several posts about this exact dilemma. I was reading "The Gift of Fear" and from there I think I've decided that the line is where denial becomes negligence of protecting one's own safety/safety of dependants. If an abuser can choose to abuse, so then can a victim choose to uplevel once they have caught wind of their own patterns. Especially in a situation where they have supportive FDS friends that tell it straight and keep …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:09 AM
3

Preach!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 01:27 AM
2

Online Dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:37 AM
2

Boundaries. Thats the answer. Stop doing things out of guilt that isn't yours to carry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:16 AM
8

We got tshirts in for a celebration at work and the shirt I got ended up being way too big for me and my coworker (female) made a passive aggressive comment dig about me being tiny. I have struggled with my weight my whole life so it seemed really off to me. I would say insecurity taken out on others is red flag territory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:31 AM
27

The weirdest thing is watching my boyfriend go through the loss of another father figure (has had 1 dirtbag father and two dirtbag stepdads) and seeing him wake up to the misogyny underlying it and how that realization is impacting his view on the world. I'm like telling him... once you see it you can't unsee it and this is what women go through in all of their relationships with men on the daily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:22 AM
4

I'm definitely going to start observing my classes harder and be more vigilant. Thankyou for this valuable insight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:13 AM
4

Margaret Atwood does not consider herself a feminist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 05:17 PM
12

Can confirm. Have heard some of my highschool students flinging it around at each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 03:58 AM
13

Gavin Debecker talks about this in "The Gift of Fear." Its the point at which denial becomes negligence of our own safety and the safety of those who may be dependant on us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 03:45 AM
17

Trauma bonding
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 02:53 AM
5

Yes I mean really there should be more awareness about the pre-frontal cortex in general and how it develops and how vulnerable people are until it does. I am a victim of one of these predators (ex boyfriend of 3 years hid his criminal past and groomed me - I am a small woman and look younger than I am), so I certainly understand the importance of raising awareness on this topic and appreciate your explanation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 09:16 PM
5

I totally get what you are saying. To clarify I just meant that the attraction to teenagers specifically is seemingly considered socially acceptable (by misogynists) and we see them degraded a little more openly. That is the only reason I made the denigration for the word. That and my background is in Criminology so the terminology is baked in my brain as it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:05 PM
2

You would be disturbed how often I hear "Simp" being thrown around by some of my high school students (boys).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:40 AM
122

A huge portion of men are hebophiles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:17 AM
14

I noticed a disturbing trend of some of my older male students (Grade 11/12) start flinging around the term "simp." Not sure if that is a cause or a symptom but disturbing nonetheless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:16 AM
22

This made me laaaaaugh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:13 AM
1

Thats exactly right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:36 AM
2

Just a thought. Seeing as they are raised to not really be in touch with their emotions, many man lack the self reflective capability/emotional language and intelligence necessary to recognize that they need therapy, let alone voluntarily go to therapy and process their pain. I very much doubt that many single dads have truly reflected on why they have become single dads and have also processed that experience to a high enough degree, in actual therapy, to be worth entertaining them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:35 AM
1

Exactly this. Fuck that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:08 AM
1

TY! An acquaintance recently started dating a single dad and I wasn't sure why it was irking the absolute fuck out of me and you put words to my thoughts on the matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:00 AM
35

I also have had 5 and I too think alot about that number in the face of "not all men." Imagine the real rape statistics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 02:08 AM
17

Yep. Back in my 20s I found out my boyfriend of 3-4 years was a convicted sex offender/hebophile. Found his mugshot in an old online newspaper. I have never been the same since.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 02:06 AM
2

You may be young and naive but I won't call you stupid. I thought similarly to you... but you have to ask yourself, at what cost? The man I talked to for several years, who seemed harmless initially, ended up being a convicted hebophile. Be safe out there. The internet is a predator's paradise. Its also a purposefully addictive trap for anyone with a hook or vulnerability to exploit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 09:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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