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takethemonkeynLeave Archive

View 2 posts and 277 comments by takethemonkeynLeave on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
508

FDS HUMORtakethemonkeynLeave/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 07:17 PM
173

REMINDER 👑takethemonkeynLeave/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:37 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

I’m sorry that happened to you. The trauma bond fog lifting made me feel like a damn idiot when I looked back on everything. It’s mind boggling how powerful a trauma bond is. I’ve done Cognitive Processing Therapy and EMDR, both of which really helped. I was dealing with a man who held a knife at my stomach and would cross double lines into oncoming traffic when he was mad at me, and although it haunts me, I know those uneasy feelings I got in that relationship and bounce when they show up in ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:18 PM
2

How did you find out it was a lie? I set mine as an ultimatum to continuing the relationship, which I will never, ever do again, and found out he was lying when he was texting me during his “weekly appointment time”. I’ve had a string of really bad dudes in my life that were casual liars to hide that they were bad people. But practice makes perfect and I’m way better at trusting my gut when something feels off. I’ve noticed I feel like a canary in a coal mine even during simple interactions with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 10:59 PM
10

There was a therapist on another thread who echoed what you’re saying, and I stand corrected. I had a guy lie to me about going to therapy while we were together, and another make an appointment so many months out from a series of incidents that I couldn’t stick around in the relationship long enough for it to matter. Both these guys displayed plenty of red flag behaviors ahead of time, but I was busy trying to paint them green, back then. I’ve since learned that any man you have to beg for huma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 10:49 PM
45

The guy had poor boundaries, which may be something he’s learning about, or needs to learn about in therapy, but any therapist will tell you people with cluster b personality types do not seek mental health treatment unless it’s court mandated. Someone with anti-social personality disorder is usually off conning others for personal gain. You will catch them in tons of lies before you catch them dishing out money to a therapist. I had an experience with an absolute psychopath who lied to me about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 09:52 PM
0

She’s married, actually. And she eventually sought therapy, thank goodness. One-thousand percent agree with you. No sense in bottling things up or taking them out on others when we can learn coping skills to manage our emotions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 09:41 PM
1

Seriously, same. I had a friend who told me she laid in bed all winter staring at the ceiling thinking about death, who constantly asked me about therapy, etc. but was too prideful to go herself, although she had the financial means to. I couldn’t wrap my head around how she would literally rather die over her ego than see a therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 09:24 PM
13

I agree, it’s important to find out what they are in therapy for, but therapists will tell you Cluster B types do not seek therapy unless it’s court mandated because they don’t believe anything is wrong with them. This sounds more like someone who was having some problems and had the self-awareness to seek help, over someone with a drastic personality disorder. Still important to stay on your toes, either way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 08:47 PM
41

That’s how it came up with my boyfriend, as well. I can see how mentioning it on a second date could be alarming, but given the context of their convo, he clearly felt at ease doing so. It’s possible OP is a good listener and he felt safe enough, who knows. My mom was a therapist so I don’t carry the same stigma most people do with it, and am very open about having received it myself. I consider it as normal as exercise, just for your brain, instead of your body. Most people need therapy and the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 05:33 PM
270

I wouldn’t think this is a red flag, as most men need therapy for general coping/relating issues. I’d only be concerned if it were for something chronic like lifelong mental illness or substance abuse issues. My current boyfriend sought therapy after a bad breakup, and he’s the best partner I’ve ever had as far as ability to communicate with and have myself be heard, emotional intelligence, overall fantastic support and words of encouragement, and he’s never moody or has me trying to guess what …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 04:47 PM
30

Lol this makes me think of asking my ex to please stop leering at women to the point he’d turn around when they walked by because it made me feel so very bad, and his response was that I, “Should be bi like his ex-gf because they used to do it together.” The rage I still feel towards this man is upsetting. Waiting for the day I feel indifference, sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 05:51 AM
18

So true. They hear you, but they don’t care, because they view it as an ego attack instead of a bid for compromise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 01:57 PM
65

Ironically, I’m a white woman and the most racist person I ever dated was an Indian man who would only eat Indian food and wouldn’t try other foods. He wouldn’t eat Chinese food because “they gave his parents covid.” Pretty ridiculous line of thinking. Ability and desire to cook is in my top 5 of must-haves and I will end relationships over it, as well. It shows someone is curious as well as responsible. I’ve had very bad experiences with men who don’t cook, including one kicking my fridge and l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 08:59 PM
7

Yep, my ex did a varying shade of the same. I’m sorry that happened to you, it’s still such a painful thought when I think about it, but I take solace in knowing I’m glad I’m no longer with someone who seeks to intentionally inflict pain on others for their own selfish gain and amusement. Hope you are in that head space, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:25 PM
87

No, I went though a very bad experience with my ex due to one of his exes that was still in his life. It’s the only time I’ve ever felt insecure in a relationship and I honestly think he derived pleasure from my discomfort around their friendship. It was pretty much the reason our relationship ended and it still hurts me when I look back on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 03:17 AM
50

I remember swiping left on a guy who had “nurses 🤤” in his bio.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 02:25 PM
115

I noticed that about Gabby’s dad, too, in the Dr. Phil interview he says he only referred to Brian as “Brianna” which just set off alarm bells that he’s probably misogynistic and verbally abusive. Women, as a whole, just deserve so much better than the types of men out there today. It makes my head spin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 01:57 PM
17

Some women will drown in the shallow end of things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 03:31 AM
57

Simple observations like these translate into capacity for empathy. And empathy is the one thing most women don’t receive from men. Empathetic men keep women from working double time just to keep daily life going.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 07:51 PM
16

Damn this is what I’ve been needing to hear lately! Reframing it as him being boring is really helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 06:34 PM
7

Really love this method of analyzing the “why” behind your preferences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 06:24 PM
5

This has been my experience with the 6’3” guys I dated. They just talked about how tall they were all the time and then there was…nothing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 06:17 PM
8

This poor woman, her world just got flipped upside down. I’d report to the fbi and immediately divorce. The internet has such a dark side to it at times, I hate that it gives men like this an outlet to justify their thoughts. He needs to see a therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:54 PM
113

This exactly. I’m 5’8” and dated a guy who was 5’4”, but he didn’t have a complex about it and was confident. It’s the confidence/personality factor to me that matters. I know a lot of women have the opposite experience here, but men I’ve dated 6’+ have always been the biggest dicks to me. Two 6’3” exes both had their own complexes about their height that was just as bad at a short man with one about his. Confidence is key.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:34 PM
42

My ex told me people often called him an asshole and that he could be petty and manipulative. I should have listened because that’s the one thing he didn’t lie about! Actually had a guy a while later ask me about him from pictures on social media, and he told me he met him at a party and that my ex off the bat said something dickish to him when being introduced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 08:26 PM
41

I went on vacation with my dad and everywhere we went, he introduced me as his daughter. Like the waiter would first walk up and he’d just motion to me and say, “This is my daughter.” Still makes me lol but also was kinda awkward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:44 PM
1

friendcest!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 06:43 PM
86

Makes me think of when my ex told me I fell from his pedestal and he would never treat me as well as he did again. In hindsight, him treating me “well” was the love-bombing stage. Me “falling from the pedestal” was really just him not being able to keep up love-bombing because it is too exhausting for him to put of a facade of love and care when underneath his baseline was cruelty, jealously, anger, and resentment. He already had a new target towards the end of our relationship. Just cycling thr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 11:58 PM
59

This is so gross. I’m glad she’s leaving him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 03:04 AM
5

I’m a white woman in the US dating an Indian man whose been over here for almost 20 years. I feel like I’m missing something when I read these posts, they scare me! Are there different red flags I should look for? It’s only been a few months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 08:22 PM
48

This is empathy in action. If men had this skill, the world would be a better place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 09:05 PM
3

I dated a guy who did CrossFit and would fast all day, then workout after work for 2-3 hours, come over to my place by 8pm just ravenous, eat 3 plates of my food he didn’t help me make or shop for. Meaning there were no leftovers. When I told him this arrangement wasn’t going to work for me, he promised to change, but actually only started showing up at my house later and later. Turns out he’d stop home after his workout to have a beer because being around me gave him “anxiety” after that convo.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 02:03 PM
14

Yeaaah I dated a guy who would only send voice memos that disappeared and I caught on so quickly he didn’t want the things he was saying to me in writing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 05:23 PM
20

So proud of you!! It feels good and gets easier with time and practice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 07:15 PM
84

Yeah it shows a lot about their character. I had a guy tell me, “I’m not getting a piece of paper from my doctor so I can have sex with someone,” and it told me everything I needed to know about my value as a person to him. I don’t want to be with men who show such disrespect in that way because you know it will carry over into how they treat you in other areas!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:52 PM
127

The STD test can be a dealbreaker for some, but I refuse to have sex with someone without doing this now that I’ve known several people who contracted herpes, and had to watch one of my dear sweet friends spiral into a depression from it. It shows maturity, responsibility, and commitment! Some guys will say no, but you next those jokers. I’ve gotten two guys to do it for me, and I test with them, as well, so it’s not impossible!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:48 PM
43

You’re right other jobs can’t see your tax forms. Maybe she was thinking more of explaining employment gaps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 01:05 PM
77

It shows how men and women value sex differently. It’s easy for a man to cum, but it’s not as easy for women to cum. There is benefit to sex for men every time, yet women probably won’t orgasm and run the risk of getting pregnant every time a man finishes inside her, even with birth control. So what should women value above sex? The way the man shows up for himself and for her. If a man is burdensome, can’t do basic adult things to take care of himself, then he for sure isn’t going to be able to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 01:44 AM
12

It always blows my mind people will form entire relationships under the influence of something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:20 PM
1

He moved to be closer. She’s remarried.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:28 PM
17

Love your Zelda reference username 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:48 AM
-2

I know a single dad who moved states to be near his kid when his ex moved. He wasn’t happy about it, but he didn’t want to be away from his kid. He posts things on FB about the recent abortion laws, etc. telling men to do their part and get vasectomies, so women don’t bear the brunt of consequences with BC side effects and whatnot. There’s good ones out there! Really gives me hope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 05:48 PM
10

Wow what a good resource, thank you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:27 PM
25

Wonder if that’s a way to let everyone know what he really is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:42 AM
10

Hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:38 AM
74

He has lovely eyebrows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:34 AM
120

I dated a guy who did this and his fry was so distorted, I couldn’t understand him. Often had to ask him to please use his real voice so I could communicate with him properly. There were times he’d repeat himself in fry several times and I’d just have to give up. Had me out here feeling like a 70 year old with hearing loss, when he was like a damn cartoon character with two completely different voices. This video is so eye opening. It’s exactly what he was doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:33 AM
2

That’s what my friend thought, too, when I told her. It still causes me to shudder when I think back on it. Ironically, he was very young looking for his age, and did a sport that made him have like zero body fat, but no muscle, while being maybe an inch taller than me with a baby face That was the last time I had sex with him because it felt like I was having sex with a child and I was beyond repulsed. I literally cringe at the thought. So different from what men would think if they were in thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:51 AM
11

I know how scary that can be to do, but that fear is what keeps men able to do this behavior. You are awesome for doing that, hopefully he leaned his lesson!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:39 PM
6

Right?! There is no reason a grown man should be talking like a baby. He’d also say, “I need to go pee pee,” when he got up to use the restroom. I had visceral reactions to the words he used and asked him to please stop phrasing it that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:32 PM
9

Imagine being so dumb that when someone straight up tells you what you’re doing is a turn-off and makes you uncomfortable, your solution is to increase the behavior then act confused when it drives the person away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:27 PM
16

My pornsick ex had a dead eyed look about him. It’s really disheartening to be around someone who has no light in their eyes and hardly ever smiles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 03:19 PM
8

This is so true. How can anyone be respectful and loving towards you when they can’t even offer that to themselves? The tools simply are not there. These men need therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:15 PM
390

Yep, briefly dated a guy who would use a baby voice when he spoke to me sometimes and I just could.not.handle.it. One time I finished during sex and he said in a baby tone, “Did somebody cum?” And I never felt more compelled to snort my birth control then in that moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 05:28 PM
49

Alright, call me evil, but there was one time where my ex-husband got a baby shower invite from a coworker I’d never met, but he really admired. I put it on my calendar and put the invite on the fridge. Mentally, I knew the day was approaching, but noticed he hadn’t mentioned getting a gift or attending the shower, even though he did initially RSVP. Then he started mentioning what he wanted to do that upcoming Saturday of the baby shower, and I realized he totally forgot about it...and I just...…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:05 AM
7

This is so cute, I’ve always loved potting stations! When I started dating my ex husband, I was building a table for my apartment and when I sent him photos his only comment was that it was too tall to be a coffee table. I like to paint but he’d stand over me telling me things I should have done differently and then was baffled when he got me an easel for Christmas that I didn’t use for years because I was afraid of his criticisms. When I bought a road bike to try to spend time with him, he didn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:38 PM
23

Sounds like he was too self-absorbed to recognize what you were doing when you were doing it. Glad you got away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:17 PM
4

Sounds like a refreshing change of pace, I’m happy for you!! The without having to ask part, that’s truly what so many of us are looking for. I went to pick food up the other day and the woman who rang me up said, “I could tell you were going to be cute when you called your order in just from your name.” Then asked me how my day was going. I’m still confused as to whether she was being nice or hitting on me, but it felt very sweet because it was a personal compliment, not just some dude catcalli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:41 AM
16

I have a storm door over my front door and some guys will stand on the porch watching me prop the storm door open with my foot or elbow while I wrangle my keys in the front door, while others hold the storm door open. It’s such a simple tell, but it’s consistently split the good ones from the bad ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:19 AM
3

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:03 AM
9

I’m glad you got yourself out of the situation with your ex and confronted your own addiction! I’m not a mom, but I would think there’s things you could do to limit their access to the internet until you can have a serious convo with them when they’re older? I think if I ever had a child, they would not have their own phones/tablets until they were teens, and the family computer would be in the living room. It’s got to be so hard to control, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:18 PM
20

What an unattractive man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:31 PM
53

I started typing out my experience with my porn addicted ex-boyfriend and erased it because it’s just so convoluted and sad. I can say with ease that everything he did, every hurtful action, every lie, every gross message to his exes trying to prove his manhood, all the external validation he sought outside of our relationship, stemmed from his insecurity around his ED. I was constantly the bad guy for getting him to finally see a doctor and get medication. How dare I suggest he cut back on porn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:24 AM
41

I called the same plumber to my house several times in a short amount of weeks, and one Friday he was scheduled to come in the morning, but texted needing to move until later. Then texted to push even later. Until it was 7pm on a Friday night and he shows up to work, but immediately begins hitting on me saying I’m sexy because I can use tools. I called him out, said it was inappropriate and he got all, “I am engaged to a med student and I love her very much” but then also didn’t make me pay and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:26 AM
19

Thank you for sharing your story. My neighbor is 86 and anytime I see him, he mentions how the man who owned my house dated a woman who owned her house up the street. He’s in the habit of repeating the same stories, but his tone of bewilderment never leaves the, “For 25 years, it must have worked for them somehow, they would just walk over to one of their houses,” portion of the story. No matter how many times he tells it. Living separate is something that really works for some couples, just lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:13 AM
57

Lol someone send this to his mom
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:19 AM
219

That was glaring for me, as well. It’s heartbreaking she’s not registering this as rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:15 AM
8

Good lord 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:54 AM
2

Happy Birthday!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:53 AM
30

This makes me so angry for you. I physically cringe thinking of Pap smears because they can be so painful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:35 AM
17

This man doesn’t love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:37 PM
27

I just ended things with a guy I was seeing for a few months because he smelled like sweat even if he just took a shower. His breath smelled so rotten, I couldn’t even get near him. I’m honestly baffled, can they not smell themselves? I can smell myself when I stink and will do something about it. He smelled like he was decaying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:14 PM
11

Marinating in it 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:07 PM
27

That’s disgusting! I’m so sorry that happened. Such an innocuous thing like using a towel shouldn’t result in a doctor’s visit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 04:06 PM
3

I ended up conceptualizing an idea and had an artist execute it perfectly. I love mine so much!Though, I’ll always feel like he stole something really personal to me. He was a textbook physical and emotional abuser. I had to do PTSD cognitive processing therapy centered around the violent acts he did against me. He had to move out of the state because he ran out of women to beat up on here. Think he believed he was the goblin king, really. My therapist refers to him as a psychopath and reframed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:52 PM
14

My abusive ex tried to get me to get a matching labyrinth tattoo with him. Now he’s walking around with a tattoo for me that I refused to get the matching side of. Realized it was a way for him to trap me in the relationship, because I told him I’d always wanted a labyrinth tattoo and he took it upon himself to insert himself and involve himself in my offhand remark. We’d only been dating like 3 months when he did this. He just texted me one day with the pics drawn up from an artist and said he’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:18 PM
44

Never will forget me getting upset at my ex for blatantly (like turning around after she walked by) checking out some girl, and when I told him it hurt my feelings to see him do something so noticeably, he told me, “you should be bi like my ex, we used to do it together.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 03:40 PM
11

I let a man who was physically and verbally abusive convince me he only did it because he, “likes me so much”. My brain was so warped that I took it as a compliment. Also recently found a poem he wrote me where he’s romanticizing abuse, and I remember thinking it was sweet at the time because he wrote me a poem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 04:07 PM
9

Fuck me this is my biggest life regret. I also did a lot of updates to his house while he sat on his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 04:02 PM
19

Guys do this to me because I like obscure music ahha. Once I told a guy I’d wanted a certain song lyric as a tattoo. He was like, “omg I love that song!” Then proceeded to text me the chorus like he was singing (you know how folks do over text), except the internet had the lyrics wrong, even though they are very clearly annunciated in the song’s chorus, if you listen to it. So it was obvious he’d never heard the song and googled the title, then copy pasted the lyric website’s wrong lyrics to me.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 04:01 PM
11

Agree to take note of calmness in the beginning. If it seems like calmness brought on by confidence without any arrogance, I would feel ok about that. On the flip side, my ex was so anxious and nervous and it never went away to the point that when I saw him acting normal with his friends I was like, “Hey why can’t you interact with me like how you do them?” And he screamed at me telling me, “I never feel like I can relax and be myself with you!!” And confirmed he acted totally different with his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 05:23 AM
0

You’re a loser?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 06:04 PM
1

I just broke up with a guy who I think had an ED. Not that I don’t care, just that I don’t have the emotional capacity for something that clearly needed professional intervention.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/21 05:02 PM
9

My ex also had shakes around me and claimed it was anxiety. Over time it was revealed to be alcoholism. He’d get very offended if I ever suggested his anxiety was a side effect of drinking too much, or to cut down. He seemed pretty content with a life of hurting himself and those around him by not addressing his issues. Very much a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:08 PM
40

My ex-husband’s grandmother called me “Ice Queen”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 07:38 PM
20

My ex always said he liked me because I was a strong independent woman, but I came to realize what he meant was he had no decision making skills or assertiveness for himself that he needed a partner who could do all that for him. The kind of guy scared to make his own doctor’s appointments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:32 PM
8

This is clearly an alcoholic in deep denial. He’s focusing on what he thinks is the “positive” of his lifestyle, being picking up women so he doesn’t have to face reality, that he puts alcohol above all else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:05 PM
1

Thank you!! I use Reddit to help me find my voice so that I can practice standing my ground in real life scenarios. My divorce hinged greatly on my ex-husband having a creepy perverted father who I caught looking through my underwear drawer when he and my ex-mil were staying with us. Ex-husband said it was my responsibility to say something to his father, which I now agree with, but didn’t have the tools to at the time. It caused a lot of fights between us, and he eventually told his parents the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 08:16 PM
1

The irony is you will continue to age while expecting young women to be attracted to you, when they won’t be, and therefore you will further and further be shut out of having sex with the type of women you desire, which will only deepen your disdain of women. Your mindset is dangerous to women and harmful to yourself, despite you choosing to believe otherwise. I’m glad you’ve found a relationship and hope you will get some clarity in your views as you deepen your emotional bond with your GF. Ple…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 05:08 PM
2

It’s gross because it shows you’re more attracted to looks than personality. It’s gross because it’s scary. It’s gross because you will always need a replacement when your current GF ages out of your preferences. I think the same for women who go for much younger men. Gender is no exception to my beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 04:33 PM
2

Why can’t you answer a question about yourself without providing outsourced data/opinions? Women are attracted to stability, which includes finances, among other things. And the more you try to date women years and years younger than you, the less financially stable those women are going to be because they are at a different life stage then you. You don’t get to be mad about something you’re bringing upon yourself because of your gross age preferences. The fact you can’t see you do this to yours…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 04:10 PM
3

I see what you’re saying, but I’m asking you to look at yourself, not others. When you quantify women, you are displaying the same traits of entitlement you’re claiming to dislike. Again, you mentioned in a previous comment that women 11 years younger than you still are not good enough for you as a 41 year old man. Of course your views around women are going to be warped and negative because the women that you deem good enough aren’t going for a guy your age, so you vilify women as a whole. Why …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 03:50 PM
2

I’ve never in my life rated a man on a looks scale, or taken the time to rate myself. Just making an observation based on your comment history and hoping you can find some inner peace towards women. The more you hold a mirror up to yourself as a critic, the more you’ll project that same critic onto the people around you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 02:56 PM
2

You don’t speak about women kindly, while quantifying everything, including yourself. Seems like your time could be better spent not trying to rate everything based on shallow attributes, because guarantee that same rating system you apply to women, you’re applying to yourself and that’s not a healthy way to view others or yourself. You’re going to shrink your world into a fist if you spend all your time counting on your fingers.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 02:27 PM
7

So you're 41, and commented earlier no man is going to "wait for" women who are over 30. Meaning, someone 11 years younger than you isn't worth your time. Maybe this is where you're having troubles with women? You'll have more success with ones around your age.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 01:38 AM
12

My boyfriend in college waited 6 months. These men exist. Being respectful should be the baseline when dating. Not sure why that's so complicated for guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 01:25 AM
10

Oh yay so excited
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:23 AM
4

Who are they?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:21 AM
7

The Handmaiden
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 03:42 PM
67

Ugh if only he’d had this level of awareness as a baby, he’d been too embarrassed to eat and would have died so we didn’t have to see this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:28 PM
36

This is horrible. I’m glad he feels for his wife though and isn’t angry at her or blaming her. A lot of men don’t have the capacity for this kind of empathy. But he learned his lesson in the most selfish way. As hard as it is to date as a CF woman in the Bible Belt, this is the sort of thing that keeps me secure in my decision.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:23 PM
2

Very true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 08:18 PM
54

Recently brought it up because I was telling him how the last guy I dated choked me without consent, after I’d already told him I do not like that sort of thing, and I added, “You can tell when men watch a lot of porn.” Which prompted him to talk about his use. It was completely by accident, I was just telling him a story, but turns out that’s a good strategy. Tell a story like that or comment about how you can tell which men watch a lot of porn because they perform poorly in bed. See if he gets…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 05:30 AM
12

Trolling in real life, that makes so much sense!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:07 PM
6

He claimed to be “bi-curious” and I asked him if he wanted to sleep with a man then follow back up with me about where he stands on figuring out his sexuality. Nothing about being “bi-phobic” as people would finger point, I was very traumatized by that relationship, when someone is telling me they’re attracted to me and want to be with me, while their body shows otherwise. He also openly flirted with other girls, kissed some girl at a party the night I asked him if he could be gay, all to compen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 05:15 PM
70

Most recent relationship, my ex blamed his ED on me. I got him to go to the doctor for Viagra, yet it still didn’t get him fully hard, and he continued to blame me. When I found the dude on dude porn searches in the history, it more so made sense, though he still denied it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 04:48 AM
47

Was on a second date with a guy where we drove to a popular hiking spot. I was using the bathroom, and he was waiting for me by the bulletin board at the trail head. There was a notice that said, “Please do not feed the raccoons.” Soon as I walked up, he yelled VERY loudly, and to this day I do not understand why, “They got coons here!!!” We start off on the trail, he doesn’t help me down from any of the rocks we climb, and stays several feet ahead of me on the trail, which I thought was not sec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 04:30 AM
25

Jaw on the floor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 04:19 AM
33

This should go in the handbook! I was married at 25 to a 30 year old and am divorced now. That age gap got us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:08 AM
3

Second this! Removing alcohol from my dating life helped me stay focused on myself and my goals for the dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:01 PM
1

I was the one who asked you for proof and you told me to use my common sense. You’re not very smart, are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 04:57 PM
6

Wow there are really men going around saying they’re part Viking?! Excuse me now I’m just going to start telling men I’m a witch 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 03:48 PM
1

Lol, “Man no like what woman says, man try to gaslight her into thinking actual historical events didn’t happen by asking her to think objectively, when really, man cannot change history. History is objective. Man wrong.”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 02:54 PM
1

Sad creature.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 01:56 AM
3

Use my common sense to rewrite history to fit your narrative you can’t provide historical proof of? Delve into the histories of actual women, as opposed to what? Fake women? I’ve already spoken to my white grandmothers, and their accounts are not the same as your grandmothers’. Online sources also say otherwise. Indoctrination and having personal experiences with something are not the same. There were literally laws enacted to keep women from having the same rights as men, including not being ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 12:07 AM
1

Where’s your proof it’s incorrect? And lol at the jab at Yale women’s studies...what would be wrong with that field of study? You sound very sexist. As a woman, am I not allowed to have feelings about my own experiences with men that put me in a position where I feel it necessary to persevere my humanity and dignity by speaking out against their actions?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 09:12 PM
1

They could not open their own without having a male co-signor. Sexual selection? What does that even mean? I can’t with the broad stroke statement of trying to reduce an entire complex world where systemic oppression has, and still does, occur, down to saying it’s a single human’s fault for their own decision making. That is oversimplifying, minimizing, and ignoring the fact that things like the women’s rights movement happened for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 08:52 PM
6

Historically women were taught the most attractive men were the ones who could provide for them financially. Did you know women weren’t legally allowed to open their own bank accounts until the 1970s? Most of us have mothers and grandmothers who were taught their only worth was to look pretty and be emotionally submissive to men, because women did not have the rights for basic, independent survival without men. Now we are living in a time where women have more rights, more access to education, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 07:24 PM
1

I don’t disagree with you about compromise, and if you check my post history in FDS, I advocate for reciprocation and communication, so I see what you’re saying now. Contrary to what a lot of people believe, FDS has a wide variety of women from different cultures and societal backgrounds and not all of us staunchly agree to everything posted in there. I think the more women feel physically objectified by men, the more likely they are to feel entitled to the material things men can offer them. If…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 06:43 PM
7

I’ll never understand why people think it’s women incels. I refuse to have sex with a man who is not kind to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 06:21 PM
0

You’re still saying it’s women’s job to indirectly change a man by the way she interacts with him. Most women do communicate and reciprocate, an already good match will fit into that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 06:00 PM
2

“Surely there’s things women can do to turn a normal or even low value man into a high value?”
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 05:39 PM
1

It’s not women’s job to raise a man into being a person who treats them right. A decent person will treat everyone respectfully, regardless of their gender or if they’re trying to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 05:29 PM
4

Dating a doctor was how I found FDS. I was googling shitty things he’d been doing to me, and it led me to finding others with similar stories. I assumed because he was a doctor that he was inherently a good person because I didn’t think people would go into careers based on helping others unless they possessed selflessness and empathy as a core value. Ended things with him because my assumptions were wrong. FDS emphasizes getting to really know the person before ending up in an emotionally painf…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 04:56 PM
2

Same with my older brother, who I filed a police report against so he can no longer contact me. I dealt with being the target of his violence and bullying, as well, and I never did anything but try and try and try again with him. My parents tried disciplining him, tried therapists, tried tough love, they tried everything, then they gave up and he became the ruler of our house. But then they continued to bail him out of bad situations after he turned 18, and now he’s 37, crippled with alcoholism …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 01:50 AM
0

I think men can get to a point where they feel a lot of anxiety around holidays/birthdays and partner’s expectations, that may make them not act at all, which I totally understand if their partner is approaching them about it in a negative and critical way to begin with. Being demanding in any situation is going to make someone feel micromanaged and afraid to try. I think gentle reminders or even explicit statements delivered in a non-hostile way is the best route. Also, showing someone how you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:42 PM
38

You’re right about the more inadequate they feel, they more they will project those insecurities onto you by saying hurtful things about your appearance, hobbies, job, etc. It took therapy to help me understand the negative things people say to you, about you, is really about them. Negative people are miserable people. We stay bright and light our fires from within.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 05:33 PM
12

I do the same! I don’t understand this parroting of claiming they’re going to die. Why are men taught not to enjoy beautiful things from nature?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:06 PM
3

Been seeing a guy for about a month and a half, he got me a thoughtful gift. Cooked dinner together. We played some games. I got him something I haven’t been able to give to him yet due to weather. I’m honestly a little afraid to give it to him because the relationship is so new and I’m still getting to know him. Had a scarring experience with lovebombing that makes me feel weird around gift giving/receiving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:26 PM
20

Practical and makes you happy!! My ex-husband knew I loved flowers, yet he always said, “Why would I get you something that’s just going to die?” I’ve heard this line so many times, it’s almost like they’re just repeating something they heard, without thinking about the effort and feelings flowers provoke for the person receiving them. Why is someone arguing with me about the little things I enjoy in life is the real question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:19 PM
30

He sounds so clueless, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:12 PM
18

This happened to me. He came from a background with strongly enforced gender roles, stay at home mom, military dad. My father came from the same and vowed to never treat women the way he saw his dad treat his mom, and he didn’t. You can be raised with this mindset being drilled into you, but ultimately men make a choice at the end of the day on how they choose to see women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:05 PM
97

This was sweet. A bond with another woman is like no other. I have some really wonderful women in my life and this reminded me of them and made me smile. We’ve always been there for each other, like even picking up groceries when one is sick. True friends stay. Men are temporary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:58 AM
18

Someone once said something along the lines here of, “Men will blame women for their own self-induced shortcomings,” and I can no longer take men’s mental health seriously when they open up and are vulnerable about it, yet that’s as far as they’ve gotten with processing it. Every single time they take it out on whatever woman is lending a kind ear. All men need therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 04:05 PM
78

I went to a wedding of a woman who was marrying a guy she got engaged to after only six months. He moved in with her, leaving my ex bf without a roommate. They invited us over to grill and play video games and she DID EVERYTHING. Even the cleaning up, I helped her a bit until they called me over to join Mario Party. I felt bad for her. Didn’t see her smile not even one time on her wedding day. It made me sad. She looks so sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 05:41 AM
74

Ugh he’s one of those hat and flannel guys. We all know they don’t have personalities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 05:38 AM
9

This hurts my heart for you. I’m so sorry you had to experience such horrible things when you were just trying to love and be loved. The trauma that arises from abuse can alter your perception of the world, including your own inner world. I’m 3 1/2 years out and it still crosses my mind every single day. I feel like I will never view men in the same ways I did before the abuse. I have a fury in me now, that would have protected me before. A quote I really love is from a book called ‘The Ten Thou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 11:40 PM
27

“He’s texting in grunt” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 03:37 PM
9

Yeah it’s the “need to be seen” part for me because it shows how much they prioritize validation from others...and at some point down the line you’ll realize you’re not ever going to be enough for someone who can’t even fill their own internal cup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 03:17 PM
5

Don’t feel bad, you’re right about him bringing up money, he was using it as a way to impress you. But it’s a tacky conversation to have when you’re just meeting someone, and he sounds like he was trying to create a false sense of desirability for himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 03:15 PM
25

I think it depends on what you value. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t prioritize a new vehicle, in the same way I’m not going to buy a new iPhone each time one is released. The one I have is well maintained, works, and is paid off. If you intend on keeping yourself in a hamster-wheel of debt, then upgrading a car every couple of years will probably do that, but since you have a larger goal of purchasing a home, it’s important to remember your status isn’t determined by surface appearances, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 02:55 PM
10

Love this metaphor!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 11:20 PM
49

I’m divorced and took his last name. It made me feel so weird, especially since he didn’t treat me like an equal. I felt like I lost a huge sense of my identity and something that’s tied into my nuclear family. I will never take a last name again. My best friend just got married and didn’t want to take his name, so they still have little spats about it and she always defaults back to how difficult it was to change and update everything,as her excuse, instead of the real reason. She just doesn’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 04:46 AM
11

BEST ADVICE EVER
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 04:32 AM
42

A girl I was acquainted with was pregnant with her husband, and he also had a tinder profile his friend made for him as a “joke”. Turns out he was cheating on her, and left her when the baby was born.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 06:18 PM
2

It does! His lyrics are violent towards his “loved” ones
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 02:21 PM
8

I have no problem calling out men who cannot execute basic life skills for themselves. They got so far in life without learning by mooching off others, and have no incentive to change. Nothing turns me off more, and I’ll say it straight to them. There’s nothing attractive about a helpless little man-baby. I’m disgusted by men like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 05:21 PM
7

I refuse to listen to music with lyrics like that. It’s also very telling when you pay attention to what music a guy you’re talking to really likes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 05:14 PM
2

Beautiful and I love your nails! The idea of teapot is so cute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 04:11 PM
3

I have eyes that look sad or dead in photos and I hate it. My face looks like I’m sad if I don’t smile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:51 PM
30

“Good vibes only” aka I have the emotional depth of a teaspoon
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:45 PM
22

Hinge has a great user reporting system. If I remember right, you can report if someone says they aren’t looking for a relationship, since the app is designed around that notion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 08:10 AM
44

The worst is when they say, “Let’s just see how we vibe.” I can no longer stand the word vibe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:55 AM
47

My married friends always ask to see my dating apps, like they get excited about it since they never got to try dating that way. They also love hearing my dating stories because it’s entertaining to them and they’re usually horror stories. I feel like I’m their real life reality show haha. But I don’t mind their curiosity, it just sucks they don’t actually know how bad it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 07:50 AM
43

They just hate responsibility and the expectation of loyalty, that’s all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 08:09 PM
26

This sounds like it was difficult for you, but that you knew it was right in your heart of hearts, and you should be proud for loving yourself out of a bad situation. What you said about LVM having some HV traits is true. Nobody is perfect, it’s about deciding what aligns with your core values and what doesn’t. I feel like I’ve been with nothing but jealous and controlling men, and you seriously cannot tame their insecurities. I learned about the concept of “moving the goalposts” in abusive rela…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 07:55 AM
113

6’3” guy I was seeing used my bathroom and said, “You can tell a woman designed this bathroom,” in regards to the toilet height because he was having trouble aiming his pee. Not a thought about his above average height, just immediate bigotry towards those pesky women out there designing toilets solely to spite men. He brought it up every time he used my bathroom. I know a lot of tallish guys who sit down to pee, and me suggesting that was “gay”. I asked him if he shits standing up. Blank stare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 07:22 AM
16

Lol what a dork
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:40 PM
28

This flat out sickens me. This poor woman has spent years with this man and he’s been hot for her daughter the whole time, now it’s just legal. What a waste of oxygen that man is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 09:25 PM
15

I wanna hang out with them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 09:19 PM
2

She’s not a person to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 08:35 PM
17

Wow haha exposing themselves is right! I hate that men will go out of their way to try to make me feel bad about my accomplishments. That’s an automatic no for me. But they really do tell on themselves. My last boyfriend was up in arms about me owning a home, and his biggest complaint about money was his car payment. He eventually told me he blew up the engine in his previous car by not getting regular oil changes and it wasn’t salvageable. He was constantly mad at himself for purchasing a brand…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:26 PM
37

This sounds like my last boyfriend! He said it upset him I just expected someone to come into my life, live in my house, and them not have any say in how it’s decorated, which were not things I ever said, only assumptions on his part. And that I should sell my house so we could buy a different one together. I live in a home where I literally have people mail me letters asking to contact them if I’m ever going to sell. All the while he would send me articles on how the word mortgage translates to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:57 PM
44

Hahah flirting with the IRS!! How do you handle these situations? I’ve taken to keeping quiet about what I do for a living and not sharing my salary unless in a committed relationship. The less they know, the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:44 PM
101

I own a nice architecturally unique home, as well, and men reallllly don’t like it. They’ve all made negative comments about my house. Latest was a guy who tried to “guess” how much it cost, saying he, “hadn’t looked it up on Zillow yet.” They truly see women succeeding as a direct attack on their manhood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:58 PM
3

When they try with the manipulative “maybe we should end this” if you agree, they backtrack. It’s literally them trying to condition you into put up with shit behavior. Men are literally monsters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 09:15 PM
19

Dang, the way she slightly smiles when the judge compliments her and starts crying. I wanna hug her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 08:57 PM
17

I’m sorry you went through that experience. I think any sort of addiction or substance abuse is incredibly draining on the healthier partner. I will not date someone who clearly has an alcohol or weed problem, either. Though I don’t drink, I do have my medical marijuana card and I use it responsibly for its intended purposes and not often. I couldn’t imagine being in that state of mind all the time. It’s slobbish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 08:54 PM
42

I wish I’d been that brave at 22...I ended up marrying the guy that was 5 years older who I was with then, and now I’m divorced! I felt it in my gut it wasn’t right, but our lives were so enmeshed and I was a chicken. I’d do so many things different if I had a time machine. This sub is exactly what women need so we can learn to listen to our instincts, and be brave in aligning our hearts with our minds, so the life we want can manifest free of major complications.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:07 AM
14

She seems fun! I want to know what her tattoos are 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 02:17 AM
54

I was with one person for almost 7 years and came back into the dating scene in 2017. I had no idea what negging was. The guy I was dating asked me one day if I knew what negging was. I did not. He explained it to me. A lightbulb went off in my head that he’d been trying to neg me the whole relationship, and I’d been immune/unresponsive to it, so he eventually asked if I knew what it was. The gross idiot ended up telling me he hated how confident I was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 10:30 PM
18

I’m sorry to hear you went through the same and glad you’re out! I cried so much because he truly fooled me. Now I only feel intense anger towards him. Looking forward to the day when it turns to indifference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:41 PM
85

The most blindsided I’ve ever been in a relationship was my ex telling me he felt like he could never be himself around me, after he behaved one way for six months, then dropped the facade. Completely blaming me for him feeling like he needed to “put on a show” for me. Basically, studied me to figure out what I liked and pretended to be that until I fell in love, then started acting totally different. The things men do are cruel and calculating. They wonder why our trust issues are through the r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:21 PM
162

This is absolutely traumatizing to put someone through, let alone a stranger. I’m so sorry he did that to you and your response was level-headed and professional, given the circumstances. No doubt he wouldn’t have done that if you were a man. I wish there were less of a stigma around mental health issues, but men are the main ones propping up the stigma by their fear of vulnerability. And when they finally do reach out, sometimes it is in a legitimate form of a suicide threat, because they’ve bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 03:43 AM
15

He knew it was wrong and bought me the same one the next day. It was an expensive Lelo, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 05:39 PM
104

My ex got so mad at me once that he broke mine in half
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 07:27 AM
31

Who let the yee haws out who who who
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 10:53 PM
16

This is how I’ve been, as well. I’ve tried to let physically attraction grow from building a connection with guys that are kind and otherwise fairly cute, but my body just reacts differently when I’m physically attracted to someone right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:08 PM
67

So many dudes mention tacos...I don’t get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:39 AM
3

This is some KNOWLEDGE right here. The first point about asking yourself what they actually know about you is something I've been trying to articulate for a while. The men who talk at you. I've encountered so many men who tell me I'm easy to talk to, while I'm just suffering because they can't even mirror a question I ask them back to me. If I'm not asking questions, the convo is flat. I've found men who talk at you, don't care who you are, like the author said, "They’re more interested in feeli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:39 AM
2

I once had a guy describe himself as a “bipolar Gemini” to me and I noped outta there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:44 PM
2

Read it 3 times in a row after getting out of an abusive relationship and I’ve suggested it to friends who it’s helped, as well. Such a great book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:43 PM
1

I love her! She’s been on my Spotify top songs a couple years in a row.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 08:31 PM
5

Thank you, you’re right about the lovebombing and future faking. I definitely picked up on it, but was going with the flow until I noticed the change and it caused me to reevaluate. I’m glad I removed him everywhere instead of sitting around fretting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:58 PM
1

Why so?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:14 PM
12

I matched with a guy on Hinge a few weeks ago and we moved to texting after he added me on social media. Texted all day, for weeks, and he got exposed to covid, so we couldn't meet up yet. Had a lot in common, same intense interests. He was saying things like we might be spending Christmas together next year, he almost told his mom about me, I'm checking all his boxes, etc. Then I told him I don't have sex without both getting tested for STDs and sharing results, and he reacted poorly. Tried to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:44 AM
6

You’re right. He was perfectly nice, otherwise, but I just don’t want to date someone not in the same life stage as me as my age. If he ends up asking me what happened, I’ll tell him how I feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 04:12 PM
12

So I just slow faded a guy after finding out about his living situation and debt within the first few dates. He told me he was $60k in debt from alcohol addiction and failed businesses, but it’s down to $40k because he’s actively working on it. Well, to work on it he’s become sober (2 years. Good!), and moved into an old warehouse that he pays very cheap rent in ($300), but there’s no central heat and air, shower, washer/dryer, or kitchen. I realized why before we met he asked me how I felt abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:40 AM
10

Pride is just shame in disguise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:15 AM
7

That was uplifting to read, thank you for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:10 AM
165

It’s a game of strategy with the common factor of chance removed. Games like poker still depend on the luck of what you’re dealt, which is different hands for each opponent. A lot of board games depend on the luck of how your dice land. Chess is taken at face value. You have the same number of pieces with the same rules for each piece. It’s fair from the start, no one can get an upper hand like you could in poker by being dealt good cards. The gameplay is completely based on who can outsmart the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 07:05 AM
113

Hell yeah! Chess is my favorite board game. My dad taught me to play when I was in elementary by playing me without his Queen, until I could beat him. Then we played as normal and I still remember the first time I beat him fairly. He was genuinely shocked, but so proud. I was 9. He gifted me the set we used to play on a few years ago and it’s really special to me. Whenever I share this story with men, they are not chess players, but want to learn and play. The only conclusion I can make over men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:53 AM
2

Very much so. She also worked at an addiction treatment center, which was the cherry on top.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 03:07 AM
6

Add to this, his dad groping me in my own home when I invited his parents to stay the weekend, and we dated the same person. I'm so sorry, can attest, these men are actual losers and I'm glad you are away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 11:32 PM
25

SO MUCH THIS. I know habits can be hard to break, but when there are very obvious solutions, you start slowly. Making a tiny change here and there will yield big results over time. My ex had so many health problems, and hung with a group of alcoholics that reinforced his poor choices. They actually made fun of him for going to a baseball game with me and doing things outside that weren't drinking and playing video games. His best friend probably weighed 300 pounds and started shitting blood. Had…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 04:07 AM
4

Stop Talking by Miya Folick It's clear to me he's not worth your energy, let's break it down he's just not very nice to you Smarter by Eisley And if you want to blame me, then go on, I'm smiling now cause I'm smarter than you think Line Of Fire by Sucre No longer will I let you decide when I get to smile and when I cry Come On by Lucinda Williams Dude I'm so over you, you don't even have a clue, all you did was make me blue, you didn't even make me, come on Loudspeaker by MUNA But every time I l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 06:19 PM
3

I saw them live and it was so much fun. Their singer gives no fucks haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 05:47 PM
2

It is most definitely sexual abuse. My ED ex was shown porn for the first time by his older brothers when he was EIGHT. When I told him this is considered sexual abuse, cue the rage of, “Well it didn’t affect me!” Uh yeah, it clearly did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:14 AM
12

Wow... “His lack of trying to improve himself in this was was a reflection of how he felt about me.” That is such a profound statement. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:07 AM
15

My ex said he’s had it ever since he first tried to have sex at 18. He was 33 and even with viagra couldn’t get all the way hard. It was very difficult because he blamed me saying my reaction made it worse. My reaction was to get him to see a doctor. This man’s insecurity around his dick drove our relationship into the ground.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:03 AM
3

So I’ll never understand this because he was a quiet man, hands always in his pockets when in group settings, type of guy. But every now and then, he’d make remarks out of the blue about his friends that were downright mean and uncalled for. It always stunned me because he was so quiet. But he’d also been ostracized from his friend group at one point and was just reconciling with them when I met him. Looking back, I think his quiet nature was just how he hid his disturbing past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:49 PM
2

How do you know if someone is a narc? I was left wondering this about him, simply because he mentioned he browses the “raised by narcissists” sub. I never asked him why or which parent he felt was, but he revealed himself to be really insecure, which is why he sought attention outside our relationship. So I wonder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:43 PM
7

Truly feel ashamed of this, but he’s the only person I look back on and feel rage towards. When we first broke up, I had to pick up running to get my energy out. It actually frightened me. I think it would be different had I seen his behavior coming, but I had the rug pulled out from under me in what I thought was otherwise a wonderful partnership. I can’t be mad at myself for being actively deceived, so the feelings are directed at him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:10 AM
9

You’re not stupid to have been a good person hoping someone was treating you the same. These men are not good people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:05 AM
16

I came across a guy once who’s bio said, “I met my GF on this app and I sometimes come back to read our messages, that’s why I’m on here.” I swiped on him, matched, called him a piece of shit and told him his GF deserves better. He unmatched without saying anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:29 PM
40

A date recently asked me how I feel about children and without a beat I said, “I haven’t met a man responsible enough for me to have a child with.” I can’t imagine I ever will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:10 PM
35

Right, and people wonder how we end up in this sub, when this is how they treat us. When they’re really just insecure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 07:48 PM
130

He also hates himself so lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 05:20 PM
260

My disgusting ex-boyfriend called his Tinder use while we were in a relationship “people watching”. I fucking hate him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:20 PM
10

Wow, I feel for you and am so sorry. My ex-husband also screamed at me 2 days after my mom passed for crying, and that's when any feelings I had for him just vanished. I regret staying as long as I did after. I had no idea life could be different. I was so unhappy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:02 AM
3

Ego, pride, inability to self-reflect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 04:55 PM
52

She did the right thing and I hope he learned his lesson. When I found out my ex, who worked at Walmart in college, would not scan some items when his friends would come through lines, and had slept with two married women because he was “lonely”, I was horrified at it upended everything I thought about his core values. It’s the reason he broke up with me, because I forced him into explaining to me why he did these things and he couldn’t handle the shame. He still likes to remind me he dumped me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 05:17 AM
7

I still feel sad for my ex's best friend's wife who wore the nickname "Party Mom" like a badge because she took care of cleaning and drank very little at gatherings so her husband could drink a lot. Also, that they're in an open relationship. Low self-esteem disguised as being the "cool girl". PASSSSSSSSS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 08:55 PM
7

Any man who is bored is a boring man, IMO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:34 AM
7

I bought my ex-bf a WINTER JACKET because he did not have one. And he wore short sleeves all winter, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 12:32 AM
1

What do you consider social media green flags?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 09:54 PM
21

I can’t understand why anyone who isn’t a teenager has Snapchat. It’s shady and just makes me think they’re immature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 09:34 PM
30

As a serial monogamist, being single in 2020 has made me remember I really like myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:42 PM
9

Straight up put his health in jeopardy then blamed you. Ugh. Good riddance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:54 AM
18

Did you ask him why he did that when it was all over? I swear some men just do not like women who are smart and have advanced knowledge in specific areas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 11:40 PM
2

My abusive ex boyfriend I speak of here often was diagnosed with Borderline PD. He almost killed me several times. Would cross double lines into oncoming traffic. Once he jumped out of my car because I said he could be a little dramatic sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 11:35 PM
3

That's disgusting, I'm so sorry. Reading this made me want to scream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 11:32 PM
21

I've never seen Rick and Morty, but my ex liked the show so for his birthday, I got him Rick and Morty comic books. He cried and told me it was the most thoughtful gift anyone ever gave him. A few weeks later, he went on this tangent about how his friend group idolized this girl from their hometown because she likes comics and he thinks, "It doesn't make her that hot and it's a turn off that women read comics," knowing full and well I do. Men really don't like when women are confident and well-e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 03:03 AM
23

Omgg I just commented on your other post and didn’t realize you’re MARRIED to this man. This will escalate. Please please leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 10:08 PM
21

I’m so sorry someone spoke to you like that and glad you got away from that person. Men like this need professional help. I went through something similar with an alcoholic in 2016/2017 and it still affects me today. I was trapped in the classic abuse cycle where he would be as sweet as he was in the first few months and shower me with gifts/take me on vacations right after an episode of abuse. It was horrible and confusing and I stayed long enough to endure violent attacks and verbal threats to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:56 PM
7

Righhht! I read often and have found men who read are so much better. Reading subconsciously teaches empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 08:47 PM
2

Sounds so much like it!! This guy did the same, asking me if I were dating other people and demanding to know if they were “better than him.” It’s delusional they want the privilege of a relationship without being in one. Their entitled outlooks should not be rewarded physically or emotionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:43 AM
1

Thank you! That’s such a nice compliment 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:37 AM
24

These type of men who blatantly recognize they have dark sides to themselves, yet choose to do nothing about it, always end up abusive. The moment a woman is kind to them, they'll go all sheepish because, "No one's ever been nice to them before." That's not true, plenty of people have and it makes them so uncomfortable that they push good people away to maintain their stagnant, wounded narrative. If the woman sticks around and continues to show empathy, the abuse comes out in the form of the man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 05:09 PM
110

Absolutely nothing!! Makes me reflect on the last (second and final) FWB situation I was in when he said he missed me, then asked if I missed him. I said I couldn't miss him since I didn't know anything about him. He was so upset that he blocked my number and deleted me from social media! He texted a few days later to apologize for his "disproportionate reaction" and again asked if I missed him. Again, I said no. It was like he couldn't stand that I didn't have the same sentiment, yet he's the o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 07:51 AM
9

Also something to think about is how the women the friends are partnered with behave, because you’ll be compared to his best friend’s wife/GF whenever there are issues. My ex’s best friend had an open marriage with his wife, and his wife was coined the nickname “Party Mom” in their group of friends, which she proudly adhered to, because she was the “responsible” one who cleaned up and took care of everyone in their drug/alcohol obsessed circle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 07:00 PM
3

I need to read this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:34 AM
30

I’ve found the trick to picking them out before you’ve even gotten physically intimate with them is to gauge how shallow they are. They only pick women based on looks, which means they’re generally uninteresting themselves. They don’t initiate conversation to find out about who you are as a person, because it doesn’t matter as long as you’re hot. And because they don’t do the work to establish emotional intimacy, they are constantly “collecting” women on social media based on looks alone. These …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 07:56 PM
42

Thank you! He moved out of the state after his exes spoke up, and I spoke up, as well. Same stories, different women. Never thought I'd become friends with women he painted in such unflattering light. They're brilliant, talented, and funny. The common denominator rule is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:56 PM
3

Fucking maddening
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 09:40 PM
63

Some of my worst experiences with my abusive ex involved trying to get him to learn to cook. He held a butcher knife at my stomach when I asked him for help dicing a jalapeno, and kicked my fridge so hard it dented when I chuckled because he didn't know how to crack an egg (34 yo) and I genuinely thought he was joking. I got us HelloFresh to simplify prep and instructions, and he volunteered to cook one of the meals alone. I sunbathed outside while he cooked. He called me in super excited he'd m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 09:24 PM
23

''An abusive man’s good periods are an important and integrated aspect of his abuse, not something separate from it.'' ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:48 PM
2

It's by Female Collective
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 12:55 AM
9

You’re not a burden and it sounds like your man really loves you. Hope you get well soon 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 08:53 PM
29

That's nuts he insulted you over his own issues he hadn't sorted out. Entitlement rooted in outdated gender roles. What an asshole. I went on a first date with a guy who just had an engagement end because he complained a lot throughout the night about not being able to sell the ring. I'm flat out uncomfortable when people jump from person to person without doing any work on themselves between, so I'm glad I got that info up front. But a couple days later, he texted that his grandmother had passe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:19 PM
6

That’s a great rule to follow, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:39 AM
9

My ex-husband’s dad went through my underwear drawer. He was a disgusting pervert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:36 AM
4

Hahaha I could not ask for a better community to make me genuinely laugh than this one 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 06:25 AM
16

I’m so sorry, what a douche. I consider men who don’t show up when a woman is clearly displaying her skills and inviting him to be a part of that complete cowards. Please don’t take it personally. This man is probably out of his mind intimidated by you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 06:14 AM
3

YES GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. I was in something tumultuous for a year. Can't even properly explain it 3 years later, and cannot imagine what it'd be like had I stayed. All I know is he is a monster. I dropped my dog off at his parent's when we were going out of town one weekend (a trip he organized in the honeymoon phase of the abuse cycle), and was alone with his mom for 30 minutes. He was blowing up my phone, asking if I were still there, what did his mom talk to me about, etc. His own mom was a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 12:45 AM
7

Omg I cackled
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:41 PM
37

"I hate how confident you are. I like dumb girls because they are easier to manipulate."- my ex Men are psychotic. Just let someone be nice to you and be nice to them in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:33 PM
2

That's a nightmare, I'm so sorry he did that to you. It's gross when it feels like someone "studied" who you are to mimic it. Cruel at the core. I can't imagine moving far off like that with someone to have them completely change, then you're just isolated with him. Gaming can become an addiction and being ignored for it is painful. Plus adulting for yourself is hard enough, then you end up doing it for some dead weight slug human. I still remember trying to get my ex's attention and having him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:49 PM
13

Have you read 'Why Does He Do That?' by Lundy Bancroft? I read it 3 times in a row after getting out of an abusive relationship. It was really helpful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:40 PM
16

Proud of you! Know that’s hard to do, but it just gets easier and easier. Also hopefully teaches them a lesson for how they act in the world going forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:42 AM
3

But what if the single woman is the mother of a young boy? Let the boys of single moms vote in place of their mother's voice! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 09:18 PM
14

I enjoy them, too, when it's an actual intimate act. The worst part is men who watch a lot of porn are SO SENSITIVE when you try to have an open conversation about what you like in the bedroom. No matter how you approach it. They don't understand how much they're hurting their chances with women by studying porn, and completely shutting out REAL LIFE WOMEN'S ACTUAL WORDS. Fucking idiots, really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 08:26 PM
14

Shit in your hands and clap hahah! Not only is their interest so limited, but it's so time consuming that they neglect all areas of their lives. Dirty homes, smelly bodies, old ill fitting clothes, don't know how to cook, drinking problems. It's the worst of the worst. I would never again. Mine sucked because he peacocked for 6 months then was like, "SURPRISE!! All I actually like to do is game. All those times we went hiking, to the river, and plays, and to concerts, movies, etc. was me trickin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:55 AM
8

Ding Ding Ding
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:12 AM
16

They're the most boring men. No personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:10 AM
5

lol dooo it. You can also make a toiler paper streamer from a leaf blower I used to get really disappointed by my ex-husband and his gift giving because he didn't listen to me. He flat out asked me several times if I wanted a stand-mixer for Christmas, which I told him no, argued why we didn't need one (we already had a hand-mixer, no countertop space, not interested in baking), and he still got me one! Two hours after opening it, he asked me if he could unbox it and make bread. Then he went on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 12:45 AM
7

Men are legitimately clueless about romance. It sounds like you consider romance to be a shared activity that creates a lasting memory. He heard you talk about how you hate sweeping, his idea of romance sounds like, "How can I eliminate this task that brings my SO down?" In a way, the leaf blower is a reminder of a task you hate, so you're bound to attach negative emotions to it regardless of the motivation he had behind it. Literally no woman on this earth wants to be reminded of chores and tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:03 PM
13

We are at a pivotal time in history where women are being given the same opportunities as men and that's allowing us to unwind decades of generational conditioning. What you said about men not saving us from the patriarchy because they are the main beneficiaries is the generational conditioning men need to unwind for themselves. Holding ourselves accountable will require men to think about their actions, because men cannot selfishly and solely benefit from empowered women. My hope is that modern…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:14 PM
236

oh mmman so I accidentally locked my keys in my car after I'd gotten groceries at an Asian market in a sketch part of town. Locksmith said it would take 30 minutes. I sat down on the strip mall sidewalk, with my bags, and huddle up because it was cold. Man walked by me and was trying to make convo. Asked me if I wanted his coat because I looked cold, and told me he'd "seen me around before." implying he thought I was homeless, understandable given where I was sitting with bags. I told him I was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:58 AM
20

I commented below but my ex was 8 when he started watching porn with lifelong ED he refused to attribute to porn LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 08:17 PM
27

Agreed. Porn hurts all women, but it also hurts men. My last relationship was with a guy who had ED and would do everything from jack off to his best friend's mom's Facebook photos, to gay porn. Yet he could not penetrate me. He could stand over me and masturbate, but the moment he tried to put his dick in me, he'd lose his erection. I got him to see a doctor, and he got meds. Even then, he was so ashamed that he wouldn't take the full dosage. So on the rare occasions he could penetrate me, I co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 08:09 PM
6

I outsource lawn care because I live next to a busy street and don't want people driving by to see I'm a woman who lives alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:57 PM
6

I'm sorry you went through that and glad you're away from him with the tools to recognize that behavior as it's happening now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:34 PM
8

Yep. This has happened to me a lot and it's why I prefer a man with his own established hobbies that are consistent and healthy. One thing I do try to take into consideration because of where I live is the privilege I had being born and raised in a city. I've had exposure and access to music, sports, arts, and literature my entire life, not just within my public school system, which people from rural areas are generally limited to. I know people who don't know how to swim or ride a bike. Things …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 09:35 PM
16

hahah you women are all so smart. I'll definitely do this. Maybe tape a mirror to the inside and write "scumbag scrote" across the top so he sees himself for what he is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:33 AM
16

Holy shit, YES, even better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:56 PM
206

The guy that literally sent me over the edge and led me to finding this sub constantly made jokes about me buying him a PS5, sent me memes about it, said he wanted a "sugar momma", etc. I'll be buying one for myself and leaving the empty box on his doorstep :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:22 PM
14

I'm so sorry I hate bodyshaming more than anything in the world. It's been a constant thing in my life (for being tall and thin, so it literally doesn't matter). Men will put their physical needs above any emotional bond, and that's terrifying. My exhusband told me he wished my body looked more like his ex's and that she had better boobs. I couldn't bring myself to have sex with him after that. Had no desire to let someone see me naked who made me feel SO BAD about what he saw. Why would I want …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:35 PM
52

How do people even have time for stuff like this with 2 young kids? Like who is watching them while the other is off somewhere? Their dysfunction will have an affect on their children whether they realize it or not, and the fact that he’s saying he wanted this because she wasn’t “trying new things” after having their second child, fuck this guy. Let his short-sighted unempathetic ass feel victimized by the consequences of his own selfish stupidity. However, if this were me, I’d ask for a divorce…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:11 AM
1

Omggg good catch. Also wtf OP you have to call him on this. Just ask him how Ryan and Seth are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 04:59 AM
5

Ugh you can tell he cares deeply for them Gezzz yeah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 04:58 AM
8

Wooow things my ex said to me: "I hate how confident you are." "I like dumb girls because they're easier to manipulate. You're too smart." I cannot believe there are people out here teaching this disgusting behavior. My ex didn't even know how to crack an egg. Kicked and left a dent in my fridge over it because I honestly thought he was joking. There's plenty of YouTube videos out there for men to learn basic life skills so that they don't have to study up on emotional abuse to trick women. What…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:21 PM
13

I'm sorry you were treated that way! I would have reported both of them at that point. Really though they're arrogant and think they can do anything. This guy was so entitled. He told me, "When I'm in you, I own you." I was like, "No you don't." We only had sex a handful of times (FWB) and he would ask me if I were going on dates with other guys (I was) and demand to know if he was better looking than them. I'm on BC and he insisted I get an IUD (no) because he was convinced I was trying to get …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 07:55 PM
29

Yeah I stopped talking to him after that and he continued to reach out. I finally told him off one night, and he acknowledged that was sexual assault, then gaslight me claiming it never happened. He’s one of those who clearly watches too much porn. I sent him a link to the definition of pornsick and said he needs to learn how to be gentle during sex. He told me he, “Didn’t need my negativity.” 30 years old, eats cereal for dinner, still going to bars until the early morning hours, no personality…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 04:43 PM
84

Fun story: I was dating a med student, and told him I don’t like being choked, never try to choke me, etc. We were having sex one night when he started to choke me! To the point I couldn’t talk, so I was hitting his hands, trying to peel them off my neck. I told him that wasn’t cool, he could have killed me, we had talked about it prior and I said I didn’t ever want him to do that. His response? “DoN’T wOrRy, i’M a DoCToR.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:01 PM
1

Have you run into men being intimidated or cruel about you owning a home? My ex sent me links to articles saying that "mortgage" translates into "death pledge" meanwhile messaging his ex gf "i StiLL hAvEn'T bOuGhT a HoUsE" and insisting if he and I moved in together, we'd have to move into a different house. I legit ended up calling him a loser and bum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:43 PM
2

I have my preferences listed in my bio because they'll come up anyway once we start talking, so may as well weed them out at the gate. What's been the worst for me is men showing they're insecure about my secure livelihood. I own a house and have a job that secures me financial independence. Guys I've dated will go out of their way to put me down over these things. Either that, or they're bums looking for a mom. I've literally encountered homeless men on dating apps living out their sedans. I wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 05:35 PM
1

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It seems so innately human to do, but really can cause heavy damage. My ex did this often, the full turning around to watch them walk by and everything. When I called him out on it, he said, "I don't realize I'm doing it. You should be like my ex. She was bi, and we would check women out together." EXCUSZI MI. Next time I noticed, I just said something right there in the store, and he got furious at me. I find this sort of behavior extremely creepy. Lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:42 AM
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