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tanen55 Archive

View 4 posts and 55 comments by tanen55 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

We are friendly but not friends. Our conversations are strictly about our girls. We do have a family chat that we all still post too but that's it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 07:09 AM
4

My only regret is not doing it sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 03:53 PM
15

Time and working on yourself. believe me…. you will get over it and be fine on the other end. And do not rush back into dating. it’s way more important to recover than to get ass. if you start dating to early you are only going to postpone the healing that has to be done. I learned this the hard way. You’ll be alright… be an example for your son..
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 05:00 PM
3

I tossed mine out of the window as I was driving down the road
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 09:59 PM
3

if I had to go back and do it again I would have split up our income right away. everything else worked out for the most part.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 06:32 PM
3

I made this mistake more than once with my ex-wife and I regret it every day. The most important thing in your life right now is time. We only have so much and before you know it its all gone. Don't waste another minute in hoping to re-kindle a relationship. Just move on and move forward.....
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 06:52 PM
2

about 3 miles - 50/50 custody. although my oldest will be moving in with me this summer and my youngest is going away to college in the fall… so 1.5 hrs for her…..I’m excited for her
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 03:01 AM
7

I combat it by stay busy. When we decided to get a divorce I spent the weekend imagining how I wanted my life to be 5 years from that point and then created a road map to get there. So at 50 I went back to school for a career change and now i'm half way through it. I've made friends in classes and we meet up for drinks on occasion and I join study groups that form up. There are some days that are worse then others and I find hitting the gym or going to the coffee shop to study helps. being aroun…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 09:39 PM
5

Those nights will come and go periodically. The few things that worked for me was to either hit the gym, or a coffee shop to study/work. Something to get out of the house and around other people, it didn’t matter if I was talking to anyone or not. Just being around others improved my mood. Either way, as time goes on those periods of loneliness start to disappear. Sometimes life is a bummer and there’s nothing to do other than get to tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 03:24 PM
6

You may have a pretty good chance of keeping your boys. I'm in Michigan and I have friends whos ex's moved out of state and wanted to take the kids and the courts said "No". you got to fight though, your ex sounds unstable and makes rash decisions. remember that you are going to be able to provide a much more stable life for your kids. I've been in the military, those marriages never last..... Never..... she'll be divorced and soon enough and your kids will be stuck in hawaii or where ever he ge…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 04:24 PM
4

I would. This is an opportunity to make some positive changes in your life and starting fresh in a different city sounds wonderful. I'm actually considering it right now myself. I'm back in school right now and I'm thinking of transferring to a college on the other side of the state and bringing one of my girls with me. Divorce sucks but it doesn't have to be pointless. If you can use this as a motivator to get out of your shell then do it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 12:25 PM
4

One bit of advice I wish that I had listened to early on was that time is the only thing you can't replace. Don't waste it. If you are not happy and there is no way to reconcile then do both of yourselves a favor and divorce. The other bit of advice I wish I listened to is that your kids are watching and learning what a marriage looks like. Mine was dysfunctional and now both of my girls have no interest in ever getting married. And finally, it's only hard at first. once the ball is rolling and …
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 07:35 PM
18

Don't get her anything. One of the best pieces of advice you are going to receive is that you have to move on with your life without consideration of your ex. That's not saying you need to be rude or combative but just mindful that going forward she's not going to be a factor in the decisions you make.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 04:58 PM
1

The formatting on this question is messed up. Can you fix it?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 07:00 PM
10

Not dating for a while is great advice I wish I would have listened too. I spent so much time trying "not" to be alone that I didn't realize I was not being truthful to myself and the women I've dated. Not being alone is not a good enough reason to date someone.....
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 07:07 PM
4

I'm 51 and almost a little over a year post divorce. If you are at the beginning of the process then just know that you are going to be in pain and it will be hard but that it does end. You will be OK. If you are having trouble imagining what life will be like without your ex then do what I did. Think about all the things you wanted to do, how you can improve your life, where you want to be in the future and make a 5 year plan on how to get there. Focus on making your life your own again. Trust …
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 07:00 PM
3

I threw mine out the car window the moment we decided to get a divorce. No regrets...
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 06:07 PM
1

I understand that. My ex was my best friend as well. Just be mindful of the fact that she has the power to cause some real pain to you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 01:05 PM
2

Honestly, I don't think you are going to heal and grow past this until you go no contact. I don't see how you can still be friends. The pain that it will eventually cause doesn't seem worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 12:39 PM
2

This will be the source of a life time of regret if you don't go.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 04:36 PM
3

I promise you that that is not true. You are the same person you were you just have to find yourself again. it takes time and effort. don't try to rush the healing process because all of the steps you are going to go through are required. but if you want to get the ball rolling sit down and picture who you want to be in 5 years. and map out the steps necessary to get there. Take solace in the fact that most of us have felt how you are feeling now. And if I can get through it I know you can.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 07:45 PM
6

Those are great points. I think holding the media responsible is a great idea for a lot of reasons and not all of them have anything to do with mensrights. Remember the Atlanta Olympic bombing suspect? Eric Rudolf? the media destroyed his life even though the evidence against him was tenuous at best.
/r/MensRights05/12/22 02:41 PM
1

Ok, have a great day:)
/r/MensRights05/12/22 01:11 PM
6

I think you maybe you misunderstand what I'm saying. I don't need people to earn my respect they generally have it from the get go until their actions cause me to reconsider. This isn't a competition of whose values are better. I would imagine every single person in the sub respected their ex's at some point but most probably don't now. I don't respect my ex wife at all because she doesn't deserve it. I have re-learned to value the people close to me and because of her actions and choices she no…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 11:37 AM
1

Ooohh, Thanks for the info. Yes that does put a different spin on things for sure.
/r/MensRights05/12/22 03:25 AM
4

I wish i had an easy answer to this but the only thing that works takes effort. The only thing that works for me to keep telling myself over and over that “I’m worth it, that I have value”. I know that sounds stupid but I had to retrain my brain to remember who i was before I met my ex wife. Also, make a 5 year plan. Work towards something that benefits you and only you. Being selfish is good.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 03:23 AM
6

The arrogance of some of these women are astounding.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 03:16 AM
7

Good job, you made the correct decision and now you have your whole life ahead of you. 10 years is a long time but you are still young and have plenty of life ahead of you. Just remember, at some point she's going to want to come back. her situation is incredibly sketchy and she'll realize it. When she does she'll come back with tears in her eye's and a whole bag of apologies. Remember, those are meaningless crocodile tears. She's proven she's a cheater, now move past her and life a fulfilling l…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 12:05 AM
11

There is some satisfaction in that :)
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 11:53 PM
7

I get what you are saying and I've been there saying exactly what you are saying. But from my own experience and observation, remaining friends with the ex is just not possible. If you are able to remain friends with your ex then that's great. Just know that your experience would be the rare exception. Ask yourself this. Does she deserve your friendship? It took a while for me to re-build my confidence after my divorce. For a long time I would except anything from anyone. I just wanted to feel "…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 11:52 PM
5

Exactly right.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 11:37 PM
35

this is a horrible story and I feel terrible for his child. We need to stop automatically believing the women when these allegations arise. the facts need to come before the consequences.
/r/MensRights04/12/22 11:36 PM
4

I guess it depends on how much work you put into yourself. if you are just wandering around feeling hurt it's going to take a long time I think. The moment we decided to get a divorce I grabbed my laptop and worked out a 5 year plan so I would have something to focus on and goals to shoot for. One of the worst things you can do is be idle. Take this chance to reevaluate your life and make changes so you can be happy. Also, I can't stress this enough. Hit the gym, lift weights and build your conf…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 06:58 PM
33

This is super common. # 1 Do your best to not only remember the good times. Don't view your past with her through rose colored glasses. Once I really started to internalize that she wasn't the person I "thought" she was my mood improved. She's not your best friend either. I know it's easy for me to say this but you have to stop viewing her that way. she's not your friend anymore. consider her an enemy at worse or an untrustworthy acquaintance at best. #2 is hit the gym <- this common recommendat…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 07:46 PM
3

I'm not questioning why she's moving across the state and neither one of us made the effort to take the relationship further. She is a friend and that worked for both of us. The point of my post was that I used her as a crutch instead completely healing. Either you misunderstood my post or I didn't explain it clearly enough.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 06:00 PM
7

I planned out my future without worry. I'm playing a lot of guitar and back in school (I supported her through 2 degrees and she didn't want to help me at all). My relationship with my daughters was already strong but now we can have a more authentic one. One where we can nerd out on dumb stuff and not be judged (probably still being judged but now idgaf) The biggest thing for me though is finding a way to rebuild my self-confidence because I had none in the later years of my marriage. The fun g…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 05:12 PM
1

Don’t leave. that’s a huge mistake that men make.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 02:44 PM
1

My ex isn’t renting space in my head. I know she’s in a serious relationship because she told me that about 8 months ago when she was getting ready to introduce him to my girls. I certainly don’t follow her on social media, haven’t actually seen her since last november or heard her voice since then and it’s been great. We communicate through texts only and only about our girls. This isn’t about my ex. I don’t care about her in the least. people can be lonely just because they are lonely at times…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 08:54 PM
1

My first reaction to this was "NO I'M NOT" and I got offended. But after some reflection you might be right. What I've been doing is playing a lot of guitar, I'm back in school working to finish off my degree, working out and anything else that keeps me busy. I do disagree with my ex renting space in my head. I don't miss her at all and am happy that she's not in my life anymore. What I do miss though is my family. Does that make sense? Last night I went to the movies with my daughter and that h…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 05:25 PM
2

:)
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 01:22 AM
5

That's been my go to as well. Staying busy is what's been working best for me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 01:20 AM
5

I’m actually at the show with my oldest daughter now. Going to see bullet train.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 09:50 PM
11

I’m hoping that my joining a running group that will help with building a community. I’m also looking for ways to volunteer at church.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 09:50 PM
6

Thanks man, I know I’m not alone in this. Sometimes it’s knowing that that helps.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 09:48 PM
10

Your first couple of sentences make a very valid point. This sub is a great resource when you need support but if one is not careful after a while it can start to twist how you view reality. It's good to take breaks from subs like this to get out of the echo chamber. edit: the rest is good and on point as well. I just wanted to point out my thoughts after reading the first paragraph.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 04:49 PM
16

You need to cut your losses and move on. You may "love" her but that's not a good enough reason to be in a relationship with someone you'll never be able to trust or doesn't love you back. There is no such thing as a "soul mate" or "the one". go out and find someone else. She's for the streets.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 06:34 PM
1

That is a great way to think about it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 11:13 AM
3

I was married for 20 years when my wife asked for a divorce. I have 2 girls and we share 50/50 custody so I can't comment on your reduced visitation. But you should be trying to get regular consistent visitations restored for both you and your son. it's critical that he has you in his life. Children need their fathers. As for how I'm getting through it? I decided that I wanted to change my self and my life. I don't need to answer to my ex anymore and I get to choose how I want to live. First thi…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 07:17 PM
9

I threw mine out the car window the day we decided to divorce. There was no reason to wear it afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 02:38 AM
3

This is great advice. And very timely for me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 06:11 PM
6

Thanks for the positive words. Sometimes it's easy to forget that this is only a temporary time in my life and that life will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 12:52 PM
1

"So much of my identity was wrapped up in being her husband. I’ve gotta find myself now" This was me, and still is to a lessening degree, at the beginning as well. Finding out who I am is turning into an exciting time. Use this as a chance to grow and be a better version of yourself. View this as an opportunity and not a set back. Your mindset is going to dictate your success.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/21 02:37 PM
3

Coming from me, a man who's wife cheated on me several times, these are very true words. Your self respect is worth more than any women.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/21 02:03 AM
1

Wow, that's rough. Smart move on crossing the street and avoiding any conflict.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/21 06:33 PM
3

I understand. I haven't cried since I was a little boy and now a days it seems that I'm always on the verge.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/21 05:00 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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