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thatshadywitch Archive

View 5 posts and 160 comments by thatshadywitch on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I can relate to this! When I was younger I was told I had a "resting bitch face" lmao. Although that didn't save me from catcalling 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 12:05 PM
9

I don't get how a woman can be married to such a bum. He sounds insufferable. Also, am I the only one who feels uncomfortable at the idea of this guy alone with his older child? I feel anxious for her, I really hope he's "only" a cheating porn addict.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 08:02 PM
42

Well, my ex checked all of these. I'd also add addictive behaviours (alcohol, drugs, PORN, gambling, compulsive shopping, etc.). Also, inability to empathise with others. This is slightly difficult to spot at first, but the guy might even tell you explicitly that he "can't feel anything" for others. My ex used to tell me he felt like he had some kind of mental disorder. While I was still in a relationship with him, I listened to a podcast which described sociopathy, and I remember telling him ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 10:51 AM
38

Damn, I'm so happy I've been single and man-free for two years. All these stories are horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 01:33 AM
23

I was going to comment this! Please, whoever is reading, consider going vegan 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 12:49 PM
9

I'm arranging a spa session with my cousin. I was dumped two years ago around Valentine's Day, so last year was a bit sad, but now I don't give a s**t anymore. I can't wait to pamper myself. It's awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 10:46 AM
8

You acted like a Queen, OP! 👑 But please, never overexplain your intentions to a guy, it's not worth it and it may backfire on the next women he dates - meaning that next time he will probably be more patient and careful with his manipulation tactics. Also, please never give the silent treatment to a stranger, you can never know how they might react. Just be nonchalant and unbothered with your replies. Keep it up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 10:22 AM
190

My ex complained all the time that "nobody cared" about him and his wellbeing. Yet he was a young, white, middle-class, educated man with a loving, understanding girlfriend (yours truly) who acted as his full-time therapist because he couldn't be bothered to pay for a professional or to build actual, fulfilling friendships. I can't even count the times I tried to convince him to seek therapy. It was exhausting. The reality is that men. don't. care. They often use their mental health issues as an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 12:34 PM
12

Sis, I got an unexpected letter from my ex a year after the breakup. Believe me when I say that he showed all the red flags even in his "apology" letter. He whined about not finding girls like me on dating apps, saying that he now realises he fucked up when he left me and he will never have another great relationship like the one we had (which was decent at best, and shitty on the worst days). These men don't change. They're self-absorbed, egotistical and entitled. You're better off without hear…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 12:00 PM
8

Power play much? Too bad he messed with the wrong woman. You do you, OP, you don't have to change your lifestyle just to accommodate some random scrote. He knew you have very firm boundaries when it comes to food and health, yet he decided to ignore them anyway and gaslight you into believing you've overreacted. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 10:59 AM
2

Thank you. ❤️ Sorry you had to experience this as well, luckily we know better now. If you hadn't written your ex was in his 50s I would've thought we had dated the same guy lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 01:55 PM
5

I agree 100% with alcohol consumption. I also don't mind occasional drinkers, but if it's a habit... nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 01:46 PM
4

Omg, my ex was English (I'm not) and I literally had to ask him to please wash his dick and bum. I never had any problems with UTI, but guess what, I started to get it regularly while dating him. Also, trigger alert* he was such a child, he literally touched himself and made me smell his horrendous dick aroma without any warning cause he knew I was repulsed by it. He chuckled at my disgust. I swear I have no idea why I found him attractive enough to have sex with him. Edit: just to clarify, I'm …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 12:21 PM
10

Being vegan is a great vetting strategy for everything and everyone! It's great both with perspective partners and friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 12:11 PM
15

Smoking is a no-go for me, I absolutely cannot stand it. It annoys me even when friends do it, I could never see myself with a smoker as a partner. To me it shows that you're prone to addictive behaviour, you don't care about your own health and you also don't respect those around you (considering passive smoking is just as bad). Also, the smell is hideous. Edit: I realised that my dealbreaker is not strange at all though lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 12:04 PM
18

Your dad sounds amazing! I can feel his energy even from here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 11:52 AM
12

If a man like this isn't even willing to pay, what's his use exactly? 🤷‍♀️ Drop him, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 11:43 AM
212

Girl, your husband hates you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 10:18 AM
5

Yep. My ex idolised Elon Musk and Bill Gates, and was also into Jordan Peterson and the king of all scrotes, aka Joe Rogan. Guys who look up to sketchy billionaires and celebrities are a big no. Needless to say, he was a developer, porn addict, covert mysoginist (he would throw temper tantrums whenever I talked about feminism and patriarchy), constantly worried about being an "alpha male", believed he was a genius and everyone around him was stupid, and dreamed of becoming world-famous and succe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 08:34 PM
48

My ex was in CS, enough said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 10:37 AM
17

I didn't want to spoil it for OP, but I was also going to comment this. The reason for it is that my LV ex would say stuff like this - "You're my everything, you're my number one priority, I'm doing this all for you!" - but he was a POS in the end. Actions speak louder than words, as the old saying goes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 09:56 PM
10

I love Ana! She always gives great insight. 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 11:38 AM
124

I was once walking home, and a random guy approached me and asked me if I could please help him find his air pods. He was veeeeeery sus, I could tell he was trying to find a way to make me get closer to his car (which had the passenger door wide open). I pretended to help because I was afraid he might have a violent reaction, but I kept my distance. In the end he magically found the air pods, thanked me, and invited me out for drinks. I politely refused and walked away. The guy briefly followed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 08:37 AM
14

Definitely therapeutic! I woke up with a satisfied smirk on my face. LOL Yeah, in real life, revenge is sweetest when it's served up as block and delete. 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 05:15 PM
62

I once dreamt about using my ex the way he used me. LOL Meaning that, in the dream, I pretended to be in love with him to reap all the benefits (sex, gifts, devotion), but then discarded him with absolute detachment. It was kind of satisfying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 03:28 PM
15

This was me with my ex. I was such a clown. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 09:24 PM
13

I also laughed so hard at this exchange, I like to think that some scenes with Leo DiCaprio's character were written to shade his real life self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 02:28 PM
11

This made me think about my dad's cousin, who was engaged to a guy who tragically died while they were in their twenties. She has stayed single since then. Women are capable of loving with every ounce of their being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 08:51 AM
9

"Well, your hygiene standards are much higher than mine, you can't expect me to clean after myself."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 10:42 AM
6

Omg, what's with men and their inability to NOT lose important stuff like a passport? My ex once didn't come to visit me on NYE (we were in a long distance relationship at first) because a few hours before the flight he told me he had lost his passport. I just can't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 02:18 PM
98

This is such a good anecdote. It made me think about one time when my ex cooked dinner and didn't cook potatoes properly. Before he started cooking I had specifically asked him to pay attention to the potatoes, since I was once sick after eating them uncooked. Well, his potatoes were still pretty much raw. I said I wouldn't eat them, and he got so mad he didn't speak to me for the whole evening, and was still mad at me after a few days. Dude, you had one job. If you really love me, and if I ask …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 11:15 PM
2

Can I also have the link please? Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 10:34 AM
9

Ha, my ex was exactly that men. He went to therapy when he was younger, but then stopped. He used psychological terminology on me, way before I even knew what some expressions meant, to gaslight me and make me feel inadequate and crazy. He refused to go to therapy while we were together even though he clearly needed it. In the end I was the one who went to therapy because of him. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 10:09 AM
6

You're an absolute legend and a gem of a friend. I wish I could shower you with awards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 11:32 AM
11

Excuse me, I have to go and vomit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 02:00 PM
5

My ex had another girl lined up when he broke up with me. And I can say with absolute certainty that all my men acquaintances, when they're dumped, never stay single. They usually start sleeping around and con women into being FWB. So in both situations, either as dumpers or dumpees, the men I've met in my life always got into another relationship right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 12:08 AM
2

"You're going to have to compete in the future". For what, your limp pee pee? 🤷 Thanks, I'm good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 11:38 PM
103

Now, whenever I see Jake Gyllenhaal, all I can think about is "I'll get older but your lovers stay my age". 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 08:14 PM
53

Sometimes I wonder whether we all dated the same guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 08:04 PM
12

Definitely not alone in this. I rarely enjoyed bjs with my ex, partly for hygienic reasons, but also because I was manipulated into performing them. It came to a point where they literally became rewards whenever he behaved "well" (i.e. like a normal, functioning adult). Example: "If I clean the bathroom, will you give me a bj?" Ew. Never again. I can't believe I was such a pickme. Edit: Also, my ex was so pornsick he needed bjs to finish off. It would take more than 10 minutes, and by the end I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 12:33 PM
33

I've found that since joining FDS my male friends have basically disappeared, meaning that I can't be bothered to be around them anymore. I used to give them the benefit of the doubt because "boys will be boys" and other bulls*it, but now I can't stand their emotional immaturity and scroteness. One of them in particular turned out to be a huge asshole who is desperate for sex and women's attention. I just can't anymore. Also, all of my MaLe FrIeNdS tried to get in my pants at some point, so...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 02:08 PM
19

• Watches porn even if he's in a committed relationship and finds nothing wrong with it. • Makes unsolicited comments about your girlfriends' attractiveness. • Constantly triangulates you. • Tries to justify other people's cheating. • Is paranoid about you cheating on him, even though he has no reason to doubt you whatsoever. • Seeks women's validation too much. • Has sneaky friendships with other women he never tells you about - you just randomly find out about their existence. • Is unable to c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 01:31 PM
63

100% agree with this. My ex was an emotional cheater (I have no idea whether he physically cheated on me, I got tested as soon as we broke up just to be safe 💀), and he was the most unassuming type. Zero friends, zero social life, socially awkward, but he craved women's attention too much. I felt constantly insecure in the relationship. The shy, nerdy guys are the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 12:53 PM
3

My Christmas gifts for my ex when we started dating: a nice jumper, a book he was curious about, a big meditation pillow (he was into meditation). Him: abso-freaking-lutely nothing, but he had no problem buying a shiny new guitar for 500 pounds. Of course, he was a 50/50 guy from the very beginning. Unfortunately at the time I was a feminist pickme who tried so hard to pose as an independent young woman. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 06:29 PM
13

Ugh, as soon as I read "He constantly said he's intrigued by me and my unavailability, like a puzzle he can't crack in one sitting" I got a surge of anxiety. My ex used to say stuff like that at the beginning, this is lovebombing 101. Good job OP, block and delete and never look back! He sounds like a massive asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 01:20 PM
10

The FDS podcast is my top podcast of the year on Spotify for a reason. Love you queens 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 08:11 PM
38

So true. Oh yeah, guess what? Both Sylvia Plath and her scrote husband's mistress committed suicide, I wonder why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 11:35 AM
177

This topic makes me so, so mad you have no idea. I took a "Contemporary Women's Writing / Feminist Fiction" class at uni, and (predictably) it was an all girls class. My lecturer pointed out the fact that, whilst all the other literature classes were attended by mixed groups, her module was ALWAYS deserted by men. Apparently writers like Toni Morrison, Sylvia Plath, Angela Carter, Pat Barker and Jeanette Winterson are too female to be deemed relevant by men. The mere fact that these modules exis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 02:04 AM
6

This, so so much! Well said. My ex also sent me a handwritten letter even though I had asked him to never contact me again. It's utter disrespect for your boundaries and wellbeing. Thankfully by the time he decided to reach out I was 100% done and even had a laugh out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:10 AM
5

Hey OP, I've had the same experience! My ex sent me a handwritten letter a few months ago. If you analyse the letter closely, I can bet everything I have that you'll find all the red flags which led to the end of the relationship. For instance, my ex basically vomited on paper all his narcissism, since he only talked about himself and how miserable he is (he's the one who dumped me!!). He even had the nerve to say that he feels stupid for not realising earlier how beautiful our relationship was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:03 AM
12

This is so, so well observed. Dare I say it should be put in the handbook? While reading this I thought about my ex boyfriend, who tried so hard to impress a couple of (female) friends of mine on a drinks night, a few months before he broke up with me. At the time I thought it was a bit weird, because I was comparing his thoughtfulness with the fact that he was treating me - his freaking girlfriend - with contempt and indifference lol. He was trying super hard to get their attention, it's like h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 10:49 AM
3

Ooooh, a couple of days ago I was tempted to buy "Jonathan Strange", I'm so happy to see it included on this list. Definitely gonna get it then!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 10:30 AM
3

I'm really sorry for what happened to you, it's heartbreaking when your trust is shattered by your partner. As others have already pointed out, unfortunately this situation is pretty much unsolvable: it's only going to get worse, and you'd never be able to trust him again after this. Find the strength within you and walk away. Better single than sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 09:54 AM
13

Yeah, I'm so used to giving men the benefit of the doubt that when I started reading his comment I thought he was going to say "I'm concerned I could inadvertently trigger her body image issues", but nope, he's only worried about himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 09:45 PM
25

My ex also told me "You're an 8/10", I wonder if they choose that number on purpose? lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 11:38 AM
10

The absurdity is that sometimes strangers can be even more empathetic than shitty partners.💀 I remember that after being dumped by my ex I often found myself moved to tears by the random acts of kindness from strangers who saw that I wasn't doing well. In those moments I realised that my ex was a POS and that I was starved of affection and basic human decency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 09:40 PM
221

Ooof, been there, done that. A few days after my grandad's unexpected (and horrible) death, my ex complained that I wasn't giving him enough attention (read: sex) and that I was moody, quiet, basically not fun. I had to remind him that my grandad had died and that I had just been to his funeral. Sometimes I suspect most men are sociopaths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 09:36 AM
60

You've just described my ex boyfriend, and the current boyfriend of a dear friend of mine - probably future father of her children. This guy once went on a "not all men" rant, victim-blaming rape victims, and my friend literally told him he's one of the good guys because he wasn't actively a rapist. As if being a non-rapist deserves cookies and a pat on the back. I just can't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 09:06 AM
22

Awww I'm happy for you, queen! You deserve a great relationship with a man who cherishes you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 08:05 PM
45

Same, but I buy myself plants instead of flowers 🥰 Discovering self-love after a bad relationship is life-changing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 08:02 PM
56

I didn't even know who this Dave Portnoy guy was (I'm Italian), and I'm glad I didn't cause he sounds like a massive scrote. Ewwww. Best quote of the episode: "If you don't want to be called or labelled a rapist, don't do the things rapists do." Preach it, Lilith!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 02:05 PM
120

Yeah, men should be denied Internet access tbh lol. Jokes aside, I once posted on a website which is similar to Craigslist (but my country's version), as I wanted to babysit and help kids with their homework and stuff. I put a picture of myself to look professional/reliable, and almost immediately I got messages from creepy dudes asking for "company". One even advertised himself as if he were looking for a wife. I was 19. I deleted everything and never posted again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 12:19 AM
49

Sis, in a few months you'll thank him for dumping you. Believe me, I was in your situation two years ago! He's not great, you deserve a good man who adores you and considers your happiness his priority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 04:11 PM
28

I don't want to blow up your hopes, but I believe this isn't very promising. For starters, if he is that bad at foreplay from the very beginning, it's not gonna get better, and I can tell you this from personal experience. Most of the time it isn't because of inexperience, they just don't care enough. ED might be indeed performance anxiety, but it could also be porn addiction (my ex also had ED on our first encounter, and turns out he was a massive porn addict). Finally, the mere fact that you'v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 10:42 AM
16

Loved this episode! I could listen to Natalie all day. Great job queens! 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 11:40 AM
44

I'm honestly speechless, I can't believe that scrote had the audacity to refer to your work as "weird shit". Jealous much? 👀 Keep shining, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 04:49 PM
100

The part about him tuning out whenever you talk about your interests and the things you care about... I can relate so much. 💀 I was gaslighted by my LVX to the point that, after he dumped me, I asked a friend of mine whether it is normal that a boyfriend zones out whenever you talk about yourself. She was puzzled by my question and replied "Of course it's not normal!" And that's when I figured out that my ex never really loved me lol. Also, when I asked him what he liked about me, he replied "Yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:12 PM
5

The more I read about porn addiction, the more I'm convinced my ex had one. The extreme mood swings, apathy, utter disrespect, weird sleeping patterns, inability to maintain friendships, staunch defense of the porn industry, obsession with quitting and inability to do so... he was so f****d up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 09:11 AM
21

Oooh, that makes so much sense. I've just commented that my POS ex was a cat lover, but now that I think about it he would often disregard his cat's body language (and get scratched as a consequence lol).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 11:47 AM
16

I don't know about this, my ex was a cat lover and he was a self-centered, unsympathetic POS. I am not a cat lover, I actually quite dislike cats because I'm a bit scared of them and I was also traumatised as a child when my cat - whom I loved very much - just disappeared one day. That being said, cats seem to adore me for some reason. LOL Probably because I just let them be, so they naturally come to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 11:42 AM
13

Oooof, my ex used to do this all the time. He showed me off in public, looked super proud of me, and when we were alone he couldn't be bothered to treat me as an individual. It's probably one of the reasons why I was so confused and why it took me ages to realise how toxic our relationship was. Mixed signals of any kind are a mindfuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 10:08 PM
17

Same here. In my former relationship I had to babysit my ex 24/7 and exhaust myself with housework. I lost all attraction to him, and he would throw temper tantrums whenever I denied him sex. Well, I'm sorry I'm not sexually attracted to whiny, lazy, incompetent menchildren. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:54 AM
56

Yep, 100% true. My ex used to come up with stuff like "I feel like I'm not worthy of love, I don't know why you're with me". They know they're assholes in disguise and are guilty as f, so they say these things to make you soothe them and to feel better about themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:28 AM
6

Giving the benefit of the doubt. Why should I? I don't care anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:27 PM
6

My ex once asked me why I loved him, and I started enumerating a list of qualities and aspects of his character that I appreciated. I then returned the question and he said he loved me because I was beautiful and because I "made him feel safe". LMAO ok, I guess? At the time I even swooned. 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:07 PM
17

Can confirm this. From the very beginning, my LVX made sure to let me know that our relationship would be transactional. Unfortunately, at the time I was too naive and inexperienced to recognise the signs. On our first official date he got tickets for a movie, and when - out of politeness, even though now I believe this could be a great vetting question lol - I asked how much I owed him, he replied "Like 8 quid? It’s no big deal. It’s nice to pay for someone when you know that your gesture will …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 01:59 PM
48

Kinda like my ex who wrote "deep" songs about life, claiming to "know everything" and to be connected with the essence of the universe, and then he didn't even know how to do the laundry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:31 PM
49

We're not even human beings to most men. They complain about being "only" friends with women as if it were such a disgrace. After all, why bother befriending a woman, spending quality time with her, having nice conversations and sharing hobbies and passions when you can't bang her in the end? It's not like women are interesting as people, right? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 03:49 PM
25

I guess the biggest, most useful thing I've learnt from this sub is: never, EVER mistrust your intuition. You feel like he's hiding something? He is. You feel like he's exploiting you? He is. You feel like he doesn't really love you and you're in a one-sided relationship? Girl, you can bet your a$$ you're right. Also, my new mantra: "If he wanted to, he would". Thanks ladies, this sub saved my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 02:06 PM
2

My ex used to do this all the time. In hindsight I think bathroom time was the only moment I could have a break from him, and he knew it. So he made sure to ruin that as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 08:37 AM
103

Yep, 100% true. My ex tried to come back a year and a half after he broke up with me, with a handwritten letter, explicitly saying that he tried his luck on dating apps and didn't find anyone. Now he magically regrets dumping me, and is convinced that our relationship wAs So BeAuTiFuL. Translation from Scrote Language: you were the only person who actually gave a sh*t about me, listened to my blabbering, and wanted to have sex with me, so now I'd like to have that back please! Too bad I would ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 10:11 PM
3

My LVX used to get annoyed at me for being a "social justice warrior", as he called me. He always acted as the devil's advocate just to get on my nerves (even when it came to human rights). I believe these people are fundamentally envious, because they lack basic empathy and could never see themselves acting like those "social justice warriors" whom they mock. Also, whenever they try to bring down people who genuinely care, they are clearly projecting their own darkness: since they are cynical, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 09:43 AM
55

I feel this so much. I was also raised to be honest and truthful, I've pretty much never lied to my parents, and I've always been very naive as a consequence. This eventually led to me to a relationship with a scrote, who love-bombed me and made me open up about my vulnerabilities and traumas early on. I was so trusting of others that it didn't even come to my mind that the majority of people out there are shitty human beings waiting to exploit you. Even now that I've embraced my bitchy side I s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 12:42 AM
76

They are mad cause it's true lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 07:48 PM
30

A girl I know once complimented her boyfriend for not being a rapist. As if it were a badge of honour and not basic humanity. I would add all the details, but it would be a very long story. He is a shitty man, has emotionally cheated on her (as far as I know, he might have physically cheated as well) and I pray everyday that she will open her eyes and dump him. The bar is in hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 02:19 PM
12

Typical scrote: does nothing for the whole relationship, as soon as you're out of the picture and you start enjoying your freedom he comes back with future faking and "look, we could be SOOO awesome together". Yeah, no, tried that already, not satisfied with the product, I want my refund.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 02:04 PM
19

My ex sent me a handwritten letter full of blah blah blahs about himself (as usual), where he admitted that he feels bad about breaking up with me and said that our relationship was BeAuTiFuL and he made the stupidest mistake. Yeah well, too bad. He didn't even make the effort of sending flowers lol. I felt second-hand embarrassment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 11:05 AM
13

My ex did the same. I cried in front of him, because of HIM and the way he treated me, and he would just start playing his guitar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:58 AM
12

Yesterday I re-read a journal entry from some time ago, when I was still in a relationship with my ex. I felt bad for my former self, and I also got second-hand embarrassment, because I literally had become a shell of what I used to be before meeting him. I justified him for any mistreatment, I blamed myself for everything that was going wrong in the relationship, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and I poured my heart and soul for an asshole who clearly didn't love me for me, but just for wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:55 AM
25

I love Taylor Swift. I used to be indifferent towards her music, but last year I listened to "folklore" after breaking up with my LVX and now I can't go a day without her songs. She's a lyrical genius.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 11:36 AM
18

I'm just gonna say that John Mayer is my ex's favourite musician and idol. That’s it. That’s all you need to know to figure out the toxicity of my former relationship. lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 11:27 AM
13

That's horrible, I'm so glad you got out of that relationsh*t. It's incredible how little self-esteem a woman can have, we're conditioned to believe we deserve such treatment. Thankfully we won't fall for this ever again! Sending hugs to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 05:04 PM
41

Unfortunately not. He has always refused to seek therapy. Why bother when you can dump all your issues and your paranoia on your bangmaid? But I'm the real clown, cause I stayed for another year and a half (!!) even after he explicitly told me he didn't see me as an actual, living person. I was like: "Oh, okay. So that's why he routinely ignores me. Sounds fair." JUST WHY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 12:41 PM
95

My ex once told me that he ignored me / basically treated me like shit because he thought I was only a projection of his mind and so I wasn't real. I wish I were joking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 08:54 AM
65

I honestly wouldn't have explained to him why you're not interested anymore. The reason for this is that now that guy will have an easier time deceiving the next girl. Never explain, just block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 01:02 PM
8

Damian is so gross I can't even. Both women are beautiful and successful, they could literally have anyone they wanted and yet they waste their time running after scrotes like that guy. And I also spotted HUGE red flags as soon as Diamond's date opened his mouth. I have to thank FDS for this. I watched LIB last year after finding this sub and I can say it's a great show to "train" your vetting strategy and observe what toxic vs healthy relationship dynamics look like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 12:40 PM
31

VERY common, my ex acted the same way lmao. When I first threatened to leave, he said "I don't believe you" and treated me with contempt and indifference. Then HE dumped me, and when I moved out the very next day he started bawling and said that he didn't expect me to leave. Like, seriously?? It’s beyond pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 10:45 AM
68

My ex expected to be praised after he did the laundry ONCE during our cohabitation. Like, good job for not behaving like a toddler? I can't even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 09:48 AM
2

I'm so going to pin this everywhere 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 09:18 AM
38

That's what I thought! I don't have kids, but I'm pretty sure they're a huge expense for the entire time they're under your roof. How can a father not know that? It’s clearly because his wife is fully responsible for house and family management, so he has no idea how his own household works. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 12:14 PM
136

I got anxiety just reading this, I feel bad for his family. His kids are only 10 and 12 and he says they "don't cost much now". Erm, they're still underage though? What about college tuitions? Also, why would you want to quit a safe job with a really good salary during these uncertain times?? He could at least wait for his kids to be fully independent adults. I wouldn't blame the wife for wanting a divorce tbh, it looks like she'd be left to take care of her family all by herself anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 08:41 AM
22

As soon as the episode started... Me: "What's up Queens!" Reaux: "Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy podcast" Me: 👁👄👁 This was such a good episode! Being Italian I didn't know the guest, but I absolutely loved her. Such great energy. Keep up the amazing work Queens! The FDS podcast has become a weekly appointment for me and it gets better and better each time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 07:46 PM
23

LMAO my ex did the same. Me: "Are you breaking up with me?" Him: "Yes." Me: proceeds to move out of the house the very next day Him: shocked Pikachu face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 09:44 AM
8

LMAO my ex was super pissed at the idea that I talked about our relationship with my friends and family. It is 100% manipulative because, if you don't talk about the issues going on in your relationship, only the two of you know about his low-value behaviour and you're isolated from family and friends if things get worse. And the gaslighting is strong. How many times do we hear about women hurt if not killed by their partner, who was "such a nice guy, it was totally unexpected"? Always, ALWAYS h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 09:19 AM
38

My LVX asked me to stay in touch after breaking up with me. I told him NO and asked him to please stop contacting me. After many months, he sent me a handwritten letter where he asked me AGAIN to be friends. I can't even. I have no interest whatsoever in staying friends with someone who decided to dump me and turned out to be a low-value person. Why would I want him as a friend if he wasn't able to be a good boyfriend in the first place? It’s rarely genuine affection, most of the time it's mere …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 11:45 AM
30

LOL those three red flags were shown by my ex back when we had started dating, I'm a clown 🤡. I agree with what the girl says, red flags are actually dealbreakers. What used to be not even a "red flag" back in my pickme days is now a BOY BYE. It feels good to have standards. Never settle for less than you deserve and want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:08 PM
30

OMG this. My ex absolutely despised small talk, he got me to open up about my traumas on the first few dates. I was very naive and inexperienced at the time, so I thought "Oh wow, this guy is so DeEp, he understands me!" Yeah, nope. He was emotionally toxic and definitely used the info he got to trigger me and make me feel insecure later on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 09:32 AM
19

I agree 100%. Even my LVX, who was very socially awkward and shy, went after me and talked to me every time he had the chance. If they wanted to, they would. Periodt. Hell, even I am a very shy person, but when I really want something I go and get it. There's no excuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 05:31 PM
24

Hey OP, you're a strong young woman and you've got this! Glad you're taking care of your mental health and you're slowly coming to terms with your trauma. It's the first step towards living your life as you want it. Please don't feel bad for being a "virgin", it's a stupid social construct created precisely to control women and their sexuality. I was a virgin until I was 23 years old, I felt like I was "less" than my friends, but honestly I'm glad I waited. Keep working on yourself and surround …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 07:36 AM
4

Haha good luck! I'll wait for your analysis 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 05:16 PM
40

I love this! I was quite a die-hard Twilight fan in my teenage years (I had started the book saga even before it went mainstream) and I adored Edward. I always despised Jacob because he came off as abusive - even as a pickme, his behaviour was totally gross to me. On the other hand, Edward looked like the perfect gentleman, one of those tormented anti-heroes whom I used to love in my youth. Fast-forward to 2020, I decided to re-read "Twilight" (only the first book) as part of my personal post-br…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 03:51 PM
1

Definitely! I can say that those months have been the most impactful and, in a way, amazing months of my life. Not because they were great, but because now that I'm out of it I feel like I've changed so much for the better. It was very hard, and at times I felt like I wasn't making any progress, but one day I went to bed and realised I hadn't cried all day. Then another day I realised I genuinely didn't care anymore. It was the most wonderful feeling. You'll get out of it, I promise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 06:52 AM
2

Hey OP, it's normal and okay to feel like this. You're grieving, your brain is tricking you into believing that your ex was your lifeline and that - now that you're on your own - you're going to perish (that's actually how it works, it's crazy). I was depressed for six months after I was dumped by my LVX. I cried multiple times a day, every day, barely slept, barely ate. I lost a lot of hair, and looked like a living skeleton. Imagine how embarrassed I feel now, whenever I think about the absolu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:26 PM
4

Wow, this is so well put. Great comment! You can literally "feel" when your boyfriend is going to cheat or is already cheating, the problem is that we've been conditioned to silence the voice in our head that tells us the truth. My LVX was very insecure and looked for ego-strokes everywhere, I wouldn't be surprised if he cheated on me (I have no idea if he actually did, and I don't care at this point).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 08:11 PM
12

I can guarantee this works! I did it once randomly (that day I was in a good mood and felt brave enough to react), and it felt awesome. A van drove past me and my mum while we were walking on the side of the road, and the three men inside catcalled us and whistled. Too bad they had to stop at a red light. I took out my phone and took a picture of their van, making sure that they saw me doing it with a smirk on my face. Oh my god, you have no idea... Their faces instantly switched from cockiness …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 11:32 PM
37

I used to socialise with men (even though I had difficulties, as I've always been shy with guys) because I was foolish and naive enough to think that they liked me as a person. Now I honestly believe that platonic friendships between men and women can't really exist. I mean, I'm sure there are exceptions out there, but every single male friend I've had in my life in the end always wanted to get in my pants. Guess what? After turning them down, they always disappeared as if our friendship never e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 10:46 PM
3

I honestly don't know her as an artist, I only know of that particular song because a friend of mine sent it to me. Sad to learn this :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 10:15 PM
35

I recommend listening to "L8er Boi" by Ashnikko, it's a parody of Avril Lavigne's song and it's hilarious (also very FDS-style).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 10:07 PM
30

My LVX didn't directly criticise my food intake or my diet, but towards the end of our relationship he started to neg me, saying stuff like "Wow, you're getting soft", "We should hit the gym more often" and comments like that, always with a giggle. Bare in mind I have been underweight most of my life (at least according to general standards), and at the time I was finally getting to my weight goal and I was building some muscles as I had started going to the gym. Apparently, I was getting "soft"…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 10:52 AM
3

In my case, the dad was a misogynistic narcissist. He was also very controlling and interfered in every aspect of my ex's life, including our relationship. On the other hand, his mum was very sweet, a genuinely kind woman, but unfortunately also very enabling. Both parents always gave him whatever he wanted. So yeah, I'm not surprised their son turned out to be an entitled LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 09:05 PM
24

My LVX once showed off for doing the laundry. We were living together at the time, and I always did the housework (obviously). He was so proud, as if he had done me the biggest favour ever or something. Oh, and another time for taking the trash out without me asking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:09 PM
1

My LVX sometimes took my phone or my books off of my hands because he couldn't stand me not giving him my full attention. These scrotes are narcissistic, entitled children in adult bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 12:22 PM
7

Hell yes. After being dumped by my LVX last year I went through months of intense pain and life-changing growth. I was the biggest libfem pickme ever, with zero self-esteem, but now I can confidently say that I am out of that mindset. A few months ago I was having a conversation with a guy I know (who used to be one of my best friends in my early 20s), and while we were talking about some books we've read he started being super pushy and insisted that I should read a book about how to manipulate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 10:43 AM
17

My ex used to do this all the time. He would be like "I'll do this and that, I'll take care of this and that, don't worry" and then expected me to help. I was once very busy with work + coursework and he offered to cook dinner (cause, of course, usually I was the one doing all the chores), but then I ended up in the kitchen helping him out. Like, why offer to do something yourself if you're not even able to? So frustrating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 10:17 AM
131

I'm Italian. You have no idea how much violence and chaos we've witnessed here. And Italy has won!! People beaten on the streets, sexual harassment, antisocial behaviour. I'm honestly baffled and disgusted by straight men sometimes. Well, oftentimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 09:19 AM
18

Yep, my ex is a heavy porn user and he definitely fits into this. He suffers from chronic anxiety, and has a pattern of dissociative behaviours and other weird shit. No friends, no social life, social anxiety. Obviously, he defended porn and got furious whenever anyone questioned its legitimacy. Porn is the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:59 AM
13

The thing that enraged me the most is the therapist's comment. I have a friend whose therapist is like that, she always justified my friend's ex boyfriend's low value behaviour and his gaslighting, basically saying that my friend was the problem and she needed to LeArN tO cOmMuNiCaTe. I'm honestly done, women are not crazy, stop invalidating our emotions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:46 AM
3

"My life is a drama free zone" but then "I hope you like a good challenge" (aka drama, I guess) + OpEn ReLaTiOnShIp (aka more drama). Make it make sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:31 AM
4

That's so heart-warming, I'm glad you got home safe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:12 AM
280

Ew, I'm cringeing so hard at that old dude, clearly a disgusting scrote. Good to know you can't even count on your friends and have to hope for the kindness of a random girl! /s 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 01:38 PM
3

"Twitch is OnlyFans for men" had me dead. Loved this episode, keep up the great work queens! 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 11:43 AM
333

I'm dead, this is pretty much the same comment my cousin made yesterday after I claimed that in romantic relationships I won't settle for less than my dad does for me. She said: "Men from the previous generations might be close-minded regarding some aspects of life, but the men of our generation, in addition to being STILL close-minded, also lack practical skills and pragmatism". And that's the tea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 09:41 AM
1

Yeah, me neither, but it can be one of the ways you can deal with an ex in case you were to sumble across him, as per OP's question. I consider myself lucky, my ex lives over 1000 miles away from me lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 07:45 PM
77

My ex used to tell me that I was "projecting" whenever we had an argument. He would gaslight me into believing that I had anger issues and lacked CoMmUnIcAtIoN. Too bad I started keeping a daily journal which, in addition to preserving memories, is great for recording all the bullshit your toxic boyfriend tells you lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 11:13 PM
41

My LVX dumped me after a four-year relationship and reached out a couple of weeks later, expecting that I would say yes to his request of meeting up. lol After I completely cut contact, he reached out again a year later saying that he was feeling melancholic and he would like to see me. I'm so over him I made an annoyed sound when I saw his text. I didn't text back. To think I cried every day for six months for his sorry ass! If you stumble across him, either change direction, ignore him complet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 10:51 PM
99

Yep. I was in this situation and I sometimes even paid more, because obviously I was responsible for most of the house management. I suffocated my annoyance as I thought I was behaving like a GoOd FeMiNiSt whenever he asked me to pay for stuff (yep, he was so stingy he even asked me directly "Could you pay for this and that?"). My (and his) behaviour was beyond illogical, since not only did he have a better job, but he also came from a far wealthier family than mine. Ironically, he was willing t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 10:15 PM
3

I can assure you you will forget at some point. It took me a whole year to stop ruminating and crying for my ex. It's a slow process, but you'll get there! Just take care of yourself and focus your attention on all the other things and people that matter to you. 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 09:42 AM
3

Aw, I'm sorry sis. It looks like triangulation to me, why would he talk about his ex like that while he was with you? He didn't deserve you. As for the Handbook... definitely! Never stop vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 07:38 AM
26

Same here. My ex once complained when I tried to initiate sex by rubbing on him and gently kissing him. In his view we were meaninglessly "masturbating each other". Like, what? I was so hurt I never initiated sex ever again after that. Needless to say, he was allergic to foreplay and almost never went down on me. Porn has ruined relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 01:12 PM
35

After I told my ex "You can't expect me to be your emotional punchbag, I'm not your therapist" he proceeded to look at me with affront in his eyes and said "Well, that's very sad". And then dumped me a few days later. The cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity and the gumption. So yeah, it does work, as afterwards the trash takes itself out lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 12:59 PM
7

Please don't let their bullying affect your self-worth. The male gaze is pervasive, and it makes even supermodels question themselves. You will never be enough for scrotes, no matter how pretty you are. And do we really care about their opinion? Meh. Also, beauty is VERY subjective. I personally have never seen an "ugly" woman in my whole life. Stay strong sis, teenage is a shitty period, but thankfully it ends sooner than you'd think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:43 PM
33

Please don't let their bullying affect your self-worth. The male gaze is pervasive, and it makes even supermodels question themselves. You will never be enough for scrotes, no matter how pretty you are. And do we really care about their opinion? Meh. Also, beauty is VERY subjective. I personally have never seen an "ugly" woman in my whole life. Stay strong sis, teenage is a shitty period, but thankfully it ends sooner than you'd think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:43 PM
51

Yep, honestly after realising that my ex was not the "good guy" he claimed to be I've started to doubt every man I encounter. He's a porn user, and everything about his attitude towards me after the honeymoon phase screamed "pornsick". Obviously at the time I didn't know, as I was naive and inexperienced, but now that I'm a recovering pickme I can tell that his self-centeredness and his delirium of omnipotence that prevented him from seeing me and treating me as a real person were most likely a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 08:31 PM
2

You’re right, however it didn't even come to my mind to do it, considering that he was the "dumper". I just deleted his phone number and gradually forgot about his existence. Little did I know that he would reappear a year later lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:30 AM
3

You got this! A person close to me also broke up with her partner after 10 years, and although it was super hard at first, now it's great to see her leveling up. I can assure you that you'll get there sooner than you think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:25 AM
43

Omg, you go girl! So, so happy to read this. Also, what's with the oBsEsSiOn with Jordan Peterson that all scrotes have? Dang.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 02:46 PM
72

I was gonna leave the same comment. Women don't age "badly", they are simply too stressed out because they are expected to cater to lazy-ass men 24/7.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:25 PM
5

Oh. My. God. This is beyond chilling, this is serial killer shit. I'm glad you stayed away!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 06:48 PM
8

Daaamn, see? 😱 Thanks for sharing your story. One more reason to run at the first weird vibe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:22 PM
17

Wow, that's some sick shit. I'm glad you listened to your intuition and protected yourself! My LVX also told me weird stuff, and even then I didn't run away. It's like he used me as his personal "priest" to confess his sins and clear his mind. He would tell me that he believed he was God, that the world was a projection of his mind and as a consequence all the people in his life were just his own creations (including myself, of course). He once said something along the lines of "If people knew w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 05:12 AM
68

Ah, I wish I knew this stuff back in my pickme days. My intuition misfiring from trauma would have prevented me from entering a 4-year relationship with a pornsick manchild who treated me like shit. When I started dating him I remember that I even told a relative of mine "Meh, I don't think he's the one but we'll see" precisely because my intuition was waving red flags in my face lol. Lesson learnt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:46 AM
2

Excuse me, I have to go and vomit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 10:56 PM
7

Yep. Run. My ex was a fan too lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 11:17 PM
5

Wow, Yaz was my pill! Thank god I stopped taking it after only a year. That’s scary as f. Society doesn't care at all about women's health! 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 12:31 PM
6

Omg this! So true. I always tried to have a conversation and encouraged my ex to see a therapist multiple times, I was super supportive, but he would literally talk things in neverending circles. He even convinced himself that I was trying to "control" him. Like, what? He just wanted to play the victim part, that's it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 03:03 PM
5

No one, and I repeat NO ONE, was more emotionally fucked up than my ex. And I consider myself a pretty emotional person. 😅 But of course I was the one that had to get his constant emotional unload, God forbid he talked about it with a professional lol. It was about him, him and him all the time, whenever I was the one dealing with shit (including heavy stuff like my grandad's death) he always found a way to make me feel guilty about expressing my emotions and readdressed the attention on himself…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 02:53 PM
18

Oh my God, I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's disgusting and absolutely not okay. I hope you're better now. 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:37 PM
11

Totally. It's freaking manipulation. My ex would throw tantrums at me when I didn't feel like having sex. I gave up just so he would stop behaving like a child. In the end it was like being in a relationship with a toddler and I'm honestly not surprised that I was repulsed and annoyed at the idea of having sex with him. 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:33 PM
3

My NVX did this. He was a lazy ass. Whenever he did the washing up (which was, uhm, almost never?) he left food stains and didn't rinse. He once did the laundry without using any detergent. I was so over it that I told him I would take care of everything. It was less stressful than watching him behave like an idiotic child. He played dumb and even had the nerve to tell me that I had high hygiene standards. So basically he manipulated me and got exactly what he wanted: a free maid that also provi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 12:36 PM
1

My ex was a "nice guy". A year after the breakup, I can finally say I'm so, so happy he discarded me. lol I would add a couple of points to your list based on my experience, although I must add that my ex was pornsick and possibly a sociopath: He watches porn and defends men's right to watch porn, making you feel like a "prude" if you question this habit. So you'll try super hard to be the unbothered, cool girlfriend. He talks down on other women in order to make you feel special (ex. "You're th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:34 AM
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