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View 2 posts and 34 comments by theFlockanAguy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
14

theFlockanAguy/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 08:27 PM
6

Need SupporttheFlockanAguy/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 04:04 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Force the sale, OP. You'll get what you're owed and there's no uncertainty around you getting fair value and how she's going to pay for it. Same thing happened with my ex and me. We pissed around for months negotiating a value. Finally decided to sell and happened to be in a price bracket where the offer came in above list. It was a pain in the ass for me as the last one there with my 3 kids, but it worked out. It'll work out for you, her and everyone involved.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 11:33 PM
1

I get it, Sam. When we sold, we got a way higher number than I expected and I'm in the RE space. Ultimately, do what you're comfortable with and don't allow yourself to get bullied to just get it done. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 05:38 PM
2

Oh yeah, when I connected the dots of 3rd-party involvement and said we're going to dude and his wife if there was any chance for the 2 of us to stay together, she chose not to be amicable anymore. It was a tough call to make when holding out hope to give our marriage a chance. However, I chose to keep me dignity and self-respect and willing to let the relationship chips fall where they may. Spin that forward to the divorce negotiations and things got dragged out for over 2 years. We ended up al…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 04:27 PM
3

Someone once said it's the result of the 10,000 conversations you did NOT have during the relationship. In my case with almost 30 years of marriage before the split, our inability to communicate well was a big factor. She brought a victim frame from childhood that I didn't understand. I brought anxiety from my childhood. Better communication may have helped us smooth any speed bumps from these and other knock-on issues.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 02:11 PM
3

Just sell if this issue is still hanging out there and get what you can. We tried negotiating and it was the trigger for her to hire attorneys to "speed things up." That was August '24. Today, we are just about finalized. Any extra equity we got from selling last year has been consumed by attorney's fees. So, sell and see if she comes in with the best offer. If not, who cares? You're in a business negotiation. Make it happen!
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 02:04 PM
6

F*ck her! Gray rock, bruh. You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 03:37 AM
3

I carried around a grey rock until I found a bracelet with small grey rocks. My STBXW (28 years in) is always the victim. The grey rock strategy helps guide me with our limited interactions.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 12:06 PM
1

Once settled, it'll be my turn to push buttons. Will probably continue taking the high road, but I have some low road ideas.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 12:26 AM
1

Yep...Cheap, it's a business transaction...no more/less.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 12:22 AM
1

Rookie mistake...went with a mediator her divorced friends recommended. Definitely not trying to rationalize with her. Trying to manage the process and her emotions. Can't wait to be done with a new direction set.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 12:21 AM
1

52 here...Orion Taraban (PsychHacks guy) had a short podcast on this w/i last 6-12 mos. He boiled things women can give to men in a relationship down to 3 things due to gender role evolution: sex, kids & 1 other thing I'm forgetting. It's an interesting viewpoint. Since I'm done with kids, if there's not sexual compatibility, there are likely very few things that a woman can bring to the table in an additive way. Cooking? Nope...already do it. Cleaning? Nope...do it and looking to hire it out. S…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 01:47 PM
2

Thanks, DRM!
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:21 AM
1

They are being 2 different versions of the same story...(ex) boss is friend vs emo/romantic partner. I have recording where she admits to being emo partner. Haven't pulled it out yet.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:53 PM
1

Thanks for the guidance, OK! Friday's initial session should be telling as to her state of mind. If much more cut throat than pre-affair convo's, I may need to bite the bullet & retain an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 02:59 AM
1

True! I've never been very good with feelz. I need to figure out how to make her feel good and yet get a deal closer to what I envision. "This feels like a good deal and now u can run off to ur fuck buddy with a clear(er) conscience."
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 10:31 PM
1

Thanks, Dday! I agree that it's a business transaction and was thinking lower emotions from her may help. The consensus says no. Friday's first session w/b interesting.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 07:39 PM
3

She definitely wants to protect him. She didn't have an answer when I asked how it was protecting him by not cutting this thing off.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 05:49 PM
1

Makes sense, Berserker! At risk of sounding naive, I think it's a newer fling. It may have crossed the line after boss announced he was leaving for a new gig 1000 miles away (Dallas) Feb 15th. The week he left in mid-March, she/they got sloppy. I can see most funds and nothing obvious. I'm a finance guy so I regularly watch this stuff. Wonder if the conservative Christian hospital network might want to know about a married exec having an affair that started when she was a subordinate. Seems like…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 05:30 PM
3

Can theoretically argue for it, but MN is no-fault. If she calls me on it, it won't go very far. I do have a recording with the admission and she doesn't know about it. Need to figure out if/when to play that card. Post-divorce to her boss' spouse and/or employer? Would love to play it for the kids, but they've been dragged into the middle enough already.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 04:50 PM
2

Thank you! My 10 minute daily meditation is 3 short reminders: *I've made tremendous progress. *Get 1% better today. *Enjoy the journey! It seems to help minimize negative thoughts and focus on important things. In my past life, I had more anxiety than I'd like to admit. It led to sweating the small stuff, little patience and too much doom scrolling. I'm trying to temper this part of my personality. It's okay to sweat the big stuff, chill out & get out into the world (away from devices). It's mo…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:51 PM
3

Thanks for the advice, DRM! I'm regularly working with a therapist and hitting the gym. If we can get the D settled quickly, it should help close this chapter more quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:33 PM
1

Thanks for the feedback, gang! Evil twin- since I called her out, it's as if my wife has passed and an evil twin has taken over her body. I do grieve over the loss of my wife. Karma- she's a big believer in it. I hope to God I'm around to see her get hers. What doesn't kill you...- we were all set to easily pay for my twins' college out of cash flow and then put the gas to the last years pre-retirement. Now, all security is off the table. It's not obvious now, but I'll figure it out. As we tell …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 03:31 AM
2

Definitely preparing for the worst!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 03:19 AM
3

Love the post-nup idea! Was prepared to go this route when separated if we had reconciled. It's so much easier if/when she loses her mind again.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 03:18 AM
5

Thanks, Up! I'm definitely prepared to walk. Hate to part with 4-5x the cash by going full on D, but may need to make the investment. She holds some cards as her elderly middle class parents have a 7-figure inheritance she'll get likely in the next 10 years. My backstop from my dad is much smaller. Whatevs... I'll figure it out and make sure to include inheritance and cohabitation clauses into any spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 03:11 AM
1

The biggest thing I linger over is why she suddenly needed to do all of this in the middle of my twins' senior year. Then, to be so obvious with boss recently that I had to call her on it and mess up their senior spring break. I get that marriages expire, but we had no incident that started anything. She could have gone sooner or later. She has daddy issues and is in perimenopause. I've got my own blindspots that I own as part of even getting separated. Adulting is complicated.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 03:05 AM
2

Great advice, domo! She thinks I was too controlling and didn't listen to her enough. Negotiating 101- let her make the first offer. I have some numbers in mind.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:59 AM
1

She had no integrity with what she pulled. Whether it is or isn't more than an emo affair is irrelevant now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:57 AM
2

Yes and doesn't matter in Minny.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:55 AM
2

Definitely not going back and will take shots at women previously thought to be out of my league. What do I have to lose?
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:54 AM
1

No fault in Minny...boo!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:53 AM
1

Onward & upward, Heavy!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:52 AM
3

I don't know if she realizes I can see every call from our cell phones. The flip side is (former) boss man who's in loveless 40-yr marriage was previously FBI for 20+ yrs. Not sure what coaching she's getting. I have other receipts I can show as well, but not sure how it may impact things. I will probably keep them in case my kids want to know more down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:51 AM
2

I mentioned good friends status you can tell your co-workers about. I have ways I can leak it, but will keep it in my pocket. Would rather reach a reasonable settlement and move on. Then, it's to make it through my twins' grad party after which I hopefully won't see her for a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 02:47 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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