Wife put kids (18F/18M/16M) in the middle of shit once again...

The first time was when she told the kids we were divorcing before she told me. She was mad that I called her on her emo (or more?) affair. She went nuclear to the kids to try to control the narrative.

Today, she did it again. My sister wanted to back out of doing pedicures with my daughter & STBXW this weekend. I suggested she not include my STBXW in the girls date in order to avoid any potential flare-ups while we're going through mediation. I, also, said it was my sister's choice at the end of the day.

My wife texts our family group and tells the kids I need to explain why I'm controlling who goes. She also only shared part of the reason my sister backed out.

I told her she needed to share my sister's full reasoning that clearly explained herself (and my involvement). I, then, said I was taking the high road and going to stop responding to that text chain.

BTW- my kids are in school as this is happening and taking finals right now. (Nice job, mom!)

My daughter did text me separately saying she had no idea why my boys needed to be included. My pride/ego wants my kids to see that I'm not the monster my wife portrays me to be. (They do spend virtually every night with me in their childhood home.)

CHALLENGE: I need to respond to my STBXW and mediator on some stuff from an email yesterday. A response right now dealing with house value, alimony, etc. may include a dig at my wife's conduct on this recent text incident.

Possible SOLUTION: wait to respond until Monday and/or email mediator only saying there's an unrelated flare-up and I'll respond on Monday to give things a chance to cool down.

Any sage advice is appreciated!