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View 3 posts and 70 comments by the_anonumos on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
14

the_anonumos/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 03:01 PM
10

the_anonumos/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 10:12 AM
1

the_anonumos/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 03:01 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Yes she did, both before and after D-Day. Of course I hate the guy, and never did like him all that much before she started fucking him.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 02:33 PM
0

Umadbro?
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 10:33 AM
9

["they're the same" meme from The Office]
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 01:28 PM
-4

🙄
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 10:19 PM
2

typical female behavior Don't. It's typical cheater behavior. Man or woman they project onto you what they are doing. I think it may be because they want to believe anyone would cheat simply because they are, but mostly it's a misdirection tactic. Think about it as a twisted game of Among Us. She's the imposter, accusing her crew mates to cover it up.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 10:00 PM
1

I'm in SC. We have at fault divorce, with one reason being adultery. The wayward partner can claim to have been forgiven, or that the affair was condoned, if the marriage continues for a time. This is called condonation. It's basically the only defense against at fault due to adultery (except maybe physical abuse toward the wayward spouse). I am not a lawyer and I don't know CA law.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 02:54 PM
1

What have you done since discovering the adultery? Generally, if you live with her as husband and wife for a certain time after, it opens you up to a "condonation" defense. You may already be screwed in terms of an at fault divorce, no matter where you manage to make your residence.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 02:41 PM
5

Do you have access to the finances, especially bank records? You can prove she and you haven't paid childcare expenses in however long.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/21 02:02 AM
0

Yeah, this is some creepy shit man. You're not posting anything interesting or relevant. She's sick of you. Fin.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/21 04:59 PM
2

Generally, each of you can "shield" whatever value you had in retirement funds when you got married. For example I brought about 30k into the marriage in a 401k. I now have nearly 90k in an IRA and a new 401k. We will then split 60k, rather than the entire 90k. This may be different in Canada or your province. I'm sure there are some places that don't go by "community property". In those areas, maybe, whoever's name is on the asset/debt keeps it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/21 04:50 PM
3

It depends. Are you getting a bigger share of something else to balance it? You will usually see total value splits that result in 50/50 but there are dozens of ways to reach that 50/50. Maybe 8k to get you off the title of the house but a huge discount on credit debt, or a larger share of retirement accounts. On the other hand she may be screwing you over. You need to reexamine the entire contract.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/21 11:31 PM
3

Honestly that money was spent out of household wealth. She spent it willingly and it was agreed upon (it seems). She CANNOT legally or morally expect repayment for that, ESPECIALLY if she is at fault.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/21 01:58 PM
1

I think CS will be at based on discovery of your current monthly income but it varies by state.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 03:10 PM
1

I am being lenient on my wife. Thankfully she ceded the best bargaining positions to me, leaving the house and kids to me and so on. If she doesn't get her shit together, I'll go back to court, too.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/21 11:05 PM
2

Mine'll get child support, too. I estimate it to be $950/mo, but I don't know yet. No alimony! She's basically unemployable, whether by choice or due to health I don't care, but she'll be applying for public assistance. If I want the kids to have something I expect to be the one to buy it, but I'm NOT agreeing to a setup that would allow her to run up the score. I shudder to think about being responsible for every 80% if she spends 20% but I know I could never enforce her paying 50%.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/21 10:46 PM
1

I'm offering to pay for health care costs and cell phones, because I would have anyway (sole earner). [I'm also offering to continue her therapy and psychiatry, but her other Healthcare costs are hers.] Everything else is an unstated %, requiring pre-approval, paid either directly to the provider or indirectly to the spouse. I do expect to be paying for electronics, extracurriculars, and most school costs (field trips, tuition, whatever), but it's not enforceable. I will also be primary custodia…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/21 09:42 PM
7

You should go. You should look at her telling you not to go as very suspect.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/21 07:52 PM
9

Just go. She can find support elsewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 10:31 PM
1

Yes! It's like she's not the woman I impregnated...she's not the mother I hoped her to be...she's not the wife I wanted...she's not even the friend that I deserve...she's a stranger, dressing up for the clubs and wearing wigs who SAYS she loves and cares for me but shows nothing but contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 06:49 PM
1

More red flags: If every relationship before you was abusive. They are either the cause of failed relationships (the common denominator), or they have serious behavioral issues that will affect your relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 03:50 PM
7

it's on the same level as losing a child or a spouse. It feels like she died, for sure. In her place is a doppelganger who feels no attachment to me or our family.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 11:59 AM
4

Your STBX is your enemy until proven otherwise. Set aside anything you think of as fair.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 10:56 AM
2

That's not a good stipulation. It's controlling and looks abusive to me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 05:44 PM
1

Exactly. If done right. If she's parading then through her house like a drive thru though...
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 05:07 PM
-3

You still have major issues around relationships, attachment, and sex. Are you seeing a therapist?
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 03:39 PM
1

You need to talk to your lawyer right NOW about her introducing new men to your children. That's widely considered harmful to the children.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 03:32 PM
5

I some states infidelity is grounds to pay zero alimony to the unfaithful spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 03:31 PM
2

I usually just say "7 years until she cheated" and then "I'm happier now".
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 11:24 AM
3

Stories I read make it out to be a terrible idea. It is a distraction from the divorce, isn't much fair to the person you date, and many other reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/21 09:41 PM
5

I almost went that route. I first suggested $1200/mo, when child support was around $900/mo. I rethought it and changed it to child support on the state guidelines and cost sharing with no specific percentage. Everything related to cost sharing (medical out of pocket, sports gear, Christmas gifts, etc) has to be clearly agreed to in text, email or writing. Neither of us can demand any cost sharing, and will bear the cost of we spend money without asking first, so we can't run up the score. Frank…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 08:02 PM
2

It's really only short cuts the year separation period and removes alimony. It can affect the division of assets and custody, but that depends highly on the judge and the lawyers involved. Not paying her alimony is pretty sweet. At 8 years married and over 100k salary and she never worked outside the house, it would have been a significant chunk of change.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 07:50 PM
2

Yes I am. Already filed and served. Finalizing a settlement outline that my lawyer will use to draft a new agreement then good to go with court in late June.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 07:36 PM
1

SC. Thing about here is yeah, normally they favor the mother but it's a Bible belt state and they really frown on infidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 06:56 PM
3

Oh yeah, she's had some epic meltdowns because I won't give her excuses for reactive abuse. Her ego is in the toilets and I'm not giving her her supply. I must say, that part is delicious.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 11:40 AM
7

Grey rocking hard right now. That's why I can't respond to her. I have to come here to vent.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 11:29 AM
2

Tread very carefully when "hiding" money. It will look very bad in court. You may be able to make some strategic investments, such as putting money in a fund for your children (if you have any). Typically that won't be split because it technically belongs to the child. You should talk to a lawyer and a financial advisor to make the right decisions. There are plenty of tricks and tips, but beware they can be right on the border of legality and can (even when legal) look bad in court. Be very care…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/21 04:37 PM
1

Talk to a couple of lawyers. It all depends on your local laws and the judge who will potentially see your case. You may be in a good position regarding alimony, given your relative incomes. If you're in a community property state, you will have to split everything, unless you two come to an alternate agreement. Sometimes, if you can prove you literally paid for everything for the house (down payment, mortgage, upkeep, renovations, etc) you can argue for not splitting the value of the house. But…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/21 04:30 PM
2

Hear hear!
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 12:16 AM
8

I'm in it with you, too. As of now, no, we're not friends. I'm not giving one inch of trust until she earns it. Also, I know the truth behind it. My STBXW is only pushing to be friends to boost the narrative of "it wasn't so bad, see we're still friends"! Nah. You need trust. No narratives. Just consistent trust. That makes a friendship.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/21 10:44 PM
2

$5200 and she can't get the yard mowed? That's only $1000 less than I take home. She's living a life of luxury...
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 05:52 AM
3

Gonna be my STBX's sole income, to, until she can weasel SS Disability. I can't even believe how helpless this woman is all of a sudden.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 01:15 AM
16

He's not complaining about paying it. He's complaining about his wife squandering it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 01:12 AM
5

We started seeing a couples therapist, but my WW stopped after about 3 weeks. I kept seeing the therapist alone until after D-Day. Now that I'm divorcing my WW, she's starting to go again to work on co-parenting. I think my WW stopped going because she was tired of having to keep her cheating secret from a trained psychologist. I benefited greatly from still seeing the CT. Kept me grounded through the affair and helped me see that my WW was not invested in our marriage anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:39 PM
3

Don't rush into another marriage, no matter how much they pressure you. Tell them you're OK with being exclusive and thinking long term, but anyone who pushes you is likely manipulating you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 11:41 AM
1

Search your heart. It knows the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 11:36 AM
4

I will never marry again as quickly as I did last time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 03:59 AM
4

Her cheating was a declaration of war. It's been battle after battle ever since. Some of the worse battles haven't come and I may avoid them. But it requires strategy. You have to sober up and plan. This person is no longer a civilian.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/21 02:23 PM
2

Check your local laws. Talk to several lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/21 12:26 PM
1

Check out avvo.com to screen lawyers that you interview.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/21 05:48 PM
1

Both but she also proved to be very stupid. So very stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/21 10:59 PM
1

Wayward wife.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 03:23 PM
2

Yeah man. Look at it this way. You exist. Other men and women like you exist. Kind, devoted people. Now you know what a treacherous woman is like, you can avoid them. Find another diamond like yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 10:04 PM
4

I've been on reddit for this issue since before D-Day, I think. I've been preparing. I listened to the advice given here. Put everything in place to rock her world before I needed it. Now the train is departing and she has no way to stop it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 08:23 PM
2

I hoped. That's very different from believing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 08:22 PM
5

That's why I immediately moved for divorce. Had a lawyer and a PI on retainer the week after D-Day. Got evidence for at fault divorce. Just had to pull the trigger when it was clear she had zero respect for me. I'm not living like that anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 08:20 PM
3

Wayward husbands do the same thing. It's not a female biotruths thing it's a cheater thing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:52 PM
3

You'll trust again, for sure, but you will also verify. Blind trust isn't always healthy. When you trust so much you miss obvious signs of abuse, it's unhealthy. Talk to a therapist. Learn to trust in healthy ways. It can be done. I, too, mourn the feeling of blind trust in my partner. I'll never have that again, for sure, but it will be replaced with something more healthy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 03:18 PM
1

avvo.com is a site I wish I had known about.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/21 07:38 PM
3

Air rifles definitely don't kick like that. Your ex is minimalizing to soften the story up. She put a real gun in your 7yo's hands.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/21 12:56 AM
2

You do you, but I loved my WW, loose skin, stretch marks, "gooch", and all. Even when she gained weight in pregnancy. Even when she lost her hair. Yeah, you do you. I'm not going to pass judgement, just because I'm more attracted to the mind. It's her mind, in the end, that SHE let go of, and that I couldn't handle (I mean there was her affair, of course, but that factored into how attractive her mind was to me). So, you know, don't get too hung up on why you're not attracted to her anymore. It …
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/21 06:34 AM
1

Money spent on the affair may be something you get compensation for. Tools might be considered household expenses but the affair is not, by definition.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/21 05:30 PM
2

You will have to disclose all accounts. You may have to account for your spending. If your spending is deemed unusual you may be dinged for hiding money. Lawyer fees would probably not be deemed unusual. You should only have to split half of the balances at the time you sign the settlement, or maybe as of the court date. I'm not sure yet, as I have not reached that point in my divorce. You could get a court order for one spouse to pay for the other's lawyer, but most likely each of your lawyers …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/21 08:44 PM
4

I wanted to hand over x number of dollars out of emotion and guilt, and they told me wait a second, how about 1/2x, or we could try 1/4x, and as a matter of fact we're not obligated so let's just wait...stuff like that. I'm lucky I caught myself doing this, but it would have absolutely been caught by my lawyer if I hadn't. I'm glad I have him. For example, I was about to offer a minimum of $1200/mo for child support, maybe $300 more than the state calculation might be. I reconsidered and now our…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/21 09:15 PM
2

No! We agreed to split costs such as the kid's cell phones and insurance. Now, here comes a deductible for a medical expense since the kids are on her insurance and I am paying her monthly. What type of language did you use? Did you ensure you had veto power? Are you expected to just pay a set % of whatever she decides to buy for them? How did this actually happen? What kind of custody agreement do you have? Split or joint? This is the language I'm including in the outline that my lawyer will tu…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/21 07:54 PM
5

Yep. She half-heartedly suggested an open marriage a while back, but didn't actually request anything or talk about ground rules. Didn't give me a chance to give input or set boundaries. Just threw herself at an unemployed drunk.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 03:01 AM
6

I've told her I had enough, I know more than she thinks I do, she needs to stop lying. And she lied. So I told her it's over. We talked out some things and agreed to create a settlement outline. She was ready to commit to anything if she could get 50/50 custody. I'm just waiting for her come back from her latest trip to her lover (and the first visit that I truly don't give a shit about). She's still compulsively lying about the real purpose of going. I don't understand it, but it's not my circu…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 02:43 AM
10

When I bought her a new phone and she left the old one behind at home. The texts, man. They told a tale of love, sex, and deep longing for each other, with utter disdain for me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 02:26 AM
7

Another bullshit concept women like to throw around is "emotional labor". This usually means some pointless task that nobody has to do, or wants to do, or needs to be done in the first place. My STBXW keeps bragging about how she scheduled therapies and doctor's visits for our boys as if that were a $3,000/mo task. She complained about buying gifts for everyone she could think of, and complained some more if she didn't get recognition. I'm one to completely recognize the unpaid labor of a SAHS, …
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/21 11:43 AM
2

Property follows the debt, but possession matters almost as much. If you leave, it is no longer in your possession and is more like an investment. If you're the only one on the loan, you HAVE to retain the house as your primary residence.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 02:05 AM
3

We went to a couples' therapist who said very clearly that she's not there to save the marriage. She was there to guide us to the healthiest relationship possible. She said she was equally prepared to help us reconcile or divorce. I (40M) was validated and eventually vindicated by the CT. My wife hated being called out while I apologized and tried to make up for things I had done wrong. Eventually, when she moved in with her adultery partner, she stopped attending. I kept going, trying to "keep …
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/21 03:39 AM
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