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throwaway-786786 Archive

View 9 posts and 227 comments by throwaway-786786 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
471

LEVEL UPthrowaway-786786/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:12 AM
210

NAH, SISthrowaway-786786/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:43 AM
100

SEEKING ADVICEthrowaway-786786/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 12:25 AM
98

KEANU throwaway-786786/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:58 PM
90

LEVEL UPthrowaway-786786/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 03:47 PM
60

DISCUSSIONthrowaway-786786/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 01:33 AM
58

throwaway-786786/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:37 AM
1

CULTURAL MISOGYNYthrowaway-786786/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 12:28 AM
0

SEEKING ADVICEthrowaway-786786/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 09:36 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

Same! I chose a very demanding career, which means that becoming a mother would mean working more than 2 full time jobs. I love the idea of having children and being able to raise them, but goddamn, society and men make it so difficult for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 01:52 AM
17

that prove a woman had a bad dad AND that she deserve to be ridiculed. This is SO fucked up. Like why are we the ones who should be shamed for having a father who was abusive, absent, and/or useless? These men have no empathy and no heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 01:50 AM
5

For my abstinent queens on here, how do you gals psychologically and philosophically deal with the societal pressure to have sexual experience in your 20s? I feel like I've just gotten constant pressure to have sex since I was like 18. I'm 26 now, and basically spent most of what society calls my "prime" years, abstinent, and I will likely be staying abstinent for a while because I'm not interested in FWBs and I'm not interested in a relationship unless it will definitely lead to marriage. I've …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:29 AM
7

I don't understand why FDS would support FWB over an LTR at any point in a woman's life. A guy will have little to no incentive to sexually pleasure you if he doesn't care about you. I've experienced this myself in my FWB situations and I've had numerous women, both IRL and online, tell me they experienced the same thing. Male FWBs typically only call you over when they're in the mood, and tend to not care about when *you* want to meet up with them. You would have to find an FWB who is a genuine…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:54 PM
17

I normally don't like to argue on reddit, but I think this kind of mentality is very important to address because I care very deeply about public health and don't want other people to mistrust doctors because of your comment. more than enough evidence to support that allopathic medicine is not designed to treat whole body and in particular chronic illnesses and the focus is certainly NOT treating the root cause of the symptoms , more focused on treating and covering up symptoms. I am very concer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 08:35 PM
35

While I agree allopathic medicine has a long way to go in terms of handling discrimination and addressing bias, please do not undermine the credibility of allopathic doctors because of this. I have seen many patients die because they chose "alternative" medicine (which often is pseudoscience, I'm sorry to say) instead of getting properly treated by a doctor. One example is a woman who tried "holistic" treatments to get treated for her cancer, and went to an allopathic doctor too late when her ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 07:38 PM
5

Is it just casual dating/FWB ? Noooo, it's never that. FDS does not support casual dating/FWB. And oftentimes these situations are more damaging to women than LTR. They're saying you should stay away from men altogether. I did this... didn't even start having sex until 25. Obviously it's not for everyone but I was so busy working on my career I had no time for guys anyway. Some women here do hold that opinion because they've seen relationships ruin women's lives and the trajectory of their caree…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:43 PM
8

Interesting. I've heard this before. However, from what I've observed it doesn't make much sense, because in my experience almost all of my friends have tried the apps at some point or another, and they're just normal, well-adjusted people. Some of them even found their equally well-adjusted partners on apps. I wonder if they considered how much time people spend on the apps. Obviously narcissists would use the apps more than non-narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:57 AM
17

It sounds like you may have just met him - FDS says you can't tell if a man is a HVM until 6-12 months in :/ Well at least he's not dropping any red flags so that's good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:33 AM
25

The wittiest people I know are women. Some of the men I've met are considered funny, but their humor typically relies on sexism, racism or something dirty. I feel like the jokes my female friends make are so much more intelligent compared to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 05:21 AM
8

YAY CULTURAL SHIFT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 05:31 AM
23

The OB/GYN rotation has been depressing. Lots of young pickmes out there having babies with minimally involved fathers. These women go through the worst pain of childbirth only to have their baby daddy sleeping in the delivery room, not be present at all, or just be watching the game in some other room. I know now I could never work in OB/GYN. It just hurts my heart too much. I just wanna shake these women awake, you know? I'd much rather do adolescent psych so I can work with some of these pati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:40 AM
17

Also wanted to let you know that my previous FWB did not satisfy my sexual needs at all. He only wanted to meet up once a month, and if I ever asked to meet up with him in between, he'd say he was "feeling sick" or "tired." It got old really fast. I think if they don't have feelings for you, they don't feel the need to really accommodate you. That was my main problem with this FWB set-up. I've heard the same for other women. Male FWBs typically only want you to come over when they're in the mood…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:48 AM
15

FWBs are not FDS-approved, but also, I'm definitely not the type of woman who can handle them. I lost my virginity to an FWB and caught feelings pretty badly even though he did have red flags. I think bc of my inexperience I can't really handle it. And besides, most guys who go for FWBs are jerks, tbh. I don't want to give a jerk my body again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:20 AM
9

I have only had sex a few times in the past and been abstinent since then. I have a high sex drive, but I have a ridiculous level of self-control from persistently restricting myself from most pleasurable activities when I was religious. I have hobbies/projects, fulfilling work, and friends that I hang out with at least once a week. I'm not lonely. I masturbate almost every day and I don't feel the need for a vibrator. I feel resigned to this until I meet a guy who's not a dickhead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:48 AM
29

heard this is a thing among Indian-American men too. Oh and not to forget Muslim men of any race dating non-Muslim women as placeholders until it's time for them to get married to their perfect young virgin Muslimah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:00 AM
41

Thank you for sharing this! I don't feel as alone and angry anymore. I know I have to wait because that's one of the costs of being a woman, so I will. I just won't be happy about it lol. Dating is so painful for me because I'm so impatient. I just gotta grit my teeth and listen to these guys talk about themselves for 2-3 months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:30 AM
121

Yeah, I get this but at the same time IT FUCKING SUCKS. You know what I mean? Like we women get horny just like men but we're the only ones who seemed to have to deal with the shitty consequences after of guys pulling back, not texting us, guys shaming us (yes, the same ones who fucked us), guys losing interest, etc. We can't just fucking "have a good time" without fearing the worst afterwards. Guys can go out and have all the sex they want with NO judgement from anyone and stomp on all the wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:46 AM
7

So it's really that simple huh? How are they allowed to act like this and get away with it. Fucking society man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 03:02 AM
20

Having seen the widespread depravity among men since I started dating, nothing fazes me anymore. But at the same time, I'm like WHY are they like this? Growing up I thought men and women were pretty much the same and WOW after I started dating I really see that they're not. People accuse us of "playing games" or being "gold diggers," but the truth of the matter is that most men do not have our best interests at heart so any tactics we use are for self-preservation. For example, when I had first …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 01:28 AM
2

Yeah, I believe you. A lot of people change, but I think the core values someone has stays pretty stable after 25 for *most* people. There are always exceptions and things like trauma, accidents, and other major life events can also contribute to change/growth in people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:43 PM
6

Brilliantly absurd comment 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:27 AM
24

Ugh I wouldn't put it past him. I just imagine Elise as this girl who's been pining for this fuckhead for years and he's just been using her for his depraved sexual escapades.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:15 AM
17

Yo this is so freaking weird to me. Is he at all successful after saying this? It just screams "I'm a bitter, insecure person who has no self-awareness." Everyone knows a gentleman pays on the first date. Beyond that, opinions vary, but almost everyone (except weirdos who think too much about this shit) believe that the man pays for the first date. I've literally NEVER paid on a first date and I've gone on dates with all kinds of strange men, including one dude who I later found out just wanted …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:53 AM
59

Tbh, I doubt it. I believe most people stay the same once they hit 25 or so and some guys in particular never fully mature emotionally. FDS is about letting go of the need for validation from men. I feel like this post seeks validation in a weird way because it's saying the reader should expect that previous exes that broke her heart will somehow come around one day and "realize what they lost." I don't think it matters at the end of the day. If you can stand up on your own two feet and never le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:45 AM
69

OMG Elise please get some self-respect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 11:44 PM
178

Noticing this on Tik Tok too more recently!! Or that could just be because tiktok knows everything about me :/ Some semi-popular tik toker was joking that she'd never write vows because she "hates saying nice things to men" which had some FDS comedic energy in there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 10:38 PM
142

This is that fun aunt you don't quite understand as a kid and seems crazy, but as you get older you realize she's the sanest of them all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:44 PM
8

So one of my male classmates seems interested in me (right when I swore off guys lol). He's been asking me to come over and he asked me to go over practice exams with him the other day. I was going to go on a hike with friends that day but decided (before he asked me) that I should study instead as I'm trying to get a really good grade on this exam. Anyway, I was telling my female roommate today that I wished I had just gone on the hike instead of studying extra because I don't think it'll pay o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 01:29 AM
2

Thank you! This does make me feel better :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 05:28 PM
7

Hey, I need some support. I had a wonderful first date with a guy. We went to an Italian restaurant (which he paid for), discovered we have a lot of shared interests, we were looking for the same things, and it was all-around a nice time. However, something just went very wrong on the second date. I was tired from a long day at work, and he had just been in an accident the day before that resulted in minor injuries. We really shouldn't have met up. I know this is technically against FDS rules, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 04:32 AM
2

Thanks for the tips! For some reason I never considered doing zoom beforehand. Seemed a bit cheesy, but I guess it'll help. And I just paused the app!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:25 PM
1

Thank you for actually answering my question. I appreciate it. And you're absolutely right about the fact that I am contributing to the spread of covid by dating right now. Your comment does give me some pause, but at the same time, I don't consider myself a morally upstanding person 100% of the time. I may get some flack for it, but I'm looking for a lot of the same things that these guys are looking for at the end of the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:22 PM
4

I come across multiple guys like this a week. They are consistently messaging me and trying to see me. There are currently 5 guys I'm talking to who are all making consistent effort and asking when I'm free, trying to plan dates etc. I am not capable of seeing all of them. What do you suggest if I don't want to talk for an unreasonably long period of time (i.e. I get a better sense of a person meeting face to face)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 10:00 PM
6

I'm located in a major US city too. I'm attractive, have a good sense of humor (i.e. a funny bio), good job, and pretty likable/sociable. I get what you're saying, but what should I do to weed them out further BEFORE I go out on dates with them? I don't like to chat with people longer than a few days, because I've never found that helpful. It ends up being a waste of time if they're weird in person. So far, most of the guys have passed the typical weed out process I have to determine who I will …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 09:58 PM
10

Jesus. I am so glad the commenter got called out. I was horrified by her comment. Why do women have to always bear the brunt of responsibility and moral uprightness?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 07:47 PM
3

So true! Traits that females excel at are deemed "soft skills" and looked upon as something supplementary. However, these soft skills are exactly what makes them that much more effective in certain fields, along with their actual competency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 04:00 PM
51

I honestly don't even see the problem with messing with low value guys on apps and then unmatching them. Sure, there are better ways to spend your time, but if that's what someone feels like doing to kill the time instead of watching TV or youtube, then that seems fine to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 03:08 PM
2

My male cousins in their 20s who live in India don't play video games. I assume they would consider it something childish and odd for an adult man to engage in. Fun fact: India is also the only country where the movie Frozen flopped. It's because cartoons/toys/playthings are considered something for children and people are forced to grow up very fast there. My cousins also don't have personal computers or any semblance of privacy (part of Indian culture) so I think porn viewing would be quite di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:21 AM
6

I know it's not a high value trait, but I've been struggling with jealousy all my life and I can't seem to get rid of it. For example, I get jealous of those cute boys who have girls fawning over them all the time, and have their pick of FWB for the week. Just something about having sex on demand with attractive people, and actually enjoying the sex, is something that I'll never get to have as a woman. I've been going through a self-acceptance journey and I'm not where I want to be yet, but litt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 04:39 AM
11

There are definitely men out there who don't watch it or watch it sparingly (i.e. once in a blue moon, which I understand is not up to FDS standards). Guys most likely to not watch it are typically very busy (i.e. work a demanding job and/or family obligations), have fulfilling hobbies, or they're religious/spiritual in some way. Of course, there are exceptions in every group. But with /r/nofap and the like, it seems like more men are realizing that porn may have permanent effects on their brain…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 04:33 AM
1

I must have missed that part of the post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 09:21 PM
3

Oh I'm sure of it too. Also, he mentions in his post that she would always want to do what he wants to do - when listening to music or watching movies. A lot of women do that when they see their guy is not enjoying the activities she chose and they're just trying to make him happy now by doing what he wants to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 08:16 PM
14

I just read two dating subs posts from men complaining about the women in their lives and I have to vent about it. When women post on the relationship advice sub, it's usually something horrific: their guy is clearly cheating on them, or has been abusive, or is forcing her into certain sex acts. When men post on the same sub, it's so meaningless that it might as well have not been a post. I read one where the guy was complaining about his wife tying his shoelaces when she puts the shoes away. TY…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:54 PM
51

FDS is against polyamory, no matter how "completely open" and "equally supportive" it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 06:39 PM
5

Um serious question... if I think about sex every single day, multiple times a day, does that make me high libido? Even if I'm not actively pursuing it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 03:18 AM
30

Feeling really good about myself today! My attending physician complimented me on my examination skills 😊 She told me I picked up on something that even our resident physician missed! I was so nervous about 3rd year of med school but it's been going better than I had anticipated. Knock on wood! And maybe it's the antidepressants, but I feel like such a QUEEN today. My curls look perfect, my skin is clear, and I look well-rested. It's too bad I can't really show off my beauty with the current sit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:30 AM
3

I mean... I personally believe every race is desirable, including my own, and I even believe I am physically attractive as an individual. But like you said, this has been my personal experience. I don't get that many likes on hinge, for whatever reason, and I thought it could be that since I'm desirable in all other ways I can think of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:36 PM
9

🤭 That hurt to read. Not only the acts that he was forcing her into but also her attitude towards him. She just wants cuddles and to feel loved. 🥺Why is that so hard for men to do?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:59 AM
21

Wow 20-40 seems like a lot though. I almost feel like he's exaggerating. Of course, I'm a WOC so not the most desirable in today's dating market. The most I've gotten in a day may have been 8 or 9 (edit: on hinge). And half of them were undateable due to some reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:28 AM
92

LOL Wait but seriously how many of the women here are desi? Been noticing a lot of them recently. We should have a poll!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:25 AM
69

Can we get rid of the narrative that men will only mistreat certain women and then "change" for women they really like? I'm pretty sure even if that was the case, the dude is probably going to reveal his true colors at some point. Probably when he gets bored of his partner and starts taking her for granted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:03 AM
29

I really hate how society blames and vilifies single moms for their situations but not the men who fathered their children. Isn't that so messed up? Ever since I found FDS, I'm starting to see the world/society so differently. I just realized that I've actually never heard somebody blame the dude like "Oh my god, did you hear what Kevin did? He got a girl pregnant and then decided to abandon her and the baby" But how many times have you heard: "Oh my god, have you heard that Ashley got pregnant …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:27 PM
183

when I wouldn’t have a threesome with him Girl! You dodged a bullet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:57 AM
21

Doctors also grow up in the same patriarchal society we all do. It's not like they're immune from being pick-mes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 06:11 PM
34

I know, it's terrible. I mean, he's also a medical student, so not a total loser, but he is a loser for allowing her to do what she did. If he truly loved her, I believe he would have told her to go for Stanford.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:04 PM
169

Ok, I have a lot to say about this as a current med student. The women in my class are some of the most accomplished, beautiful, and intelligent women I've met and yet, some are total clowns when it comes to their partners/bfs/fiances. One girl in my class turned down STANFORD school of medicine to come to my humble hometown medical school because her boyfriend was in his first year here. She told him that she's only making the decision contingent upon them couples matching (get residency in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:43 PM
2

​ Show me in the Quran which is the only indisputable book. Hadith denial (i.e. the "Quranist" movement) is akin to blasphemy in mainstream Islam, according to the scholars. It's one of the signs of the day of judgement that people will reject hadith (i.e., it's viewed quite negatively). This particular hadith is classed "saheeh" as I've mentioned above, meaning the chain of narration has been corroborated by multiple people. The fact that you didn't know this tells me all I need to know about y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 09:25 AM
9

We're not talking about the reasons for why the rule exists (which btw is not as cut-and-dry as you make it out to be). I was explaining why her parents took the actions they did, and arguing that it was related to Islam. Her parents wanted her to wear hijab because it is MANDATORY in Islam. They believe they will be punished if they don't try to make her to wear it. Also you're delusional if you think that men don't look at women in hijabs in an indecent way as well. You keep quoting 2:256, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 07:16 AM
11

I really like watching this lady! Wish more women were like her. Feisty and strong!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 06:59 AM
10

beautifying yourself (i.e. makeup) is haram in Islam, unless it's for your husband not observing hijab is haram in Islam It is the parents' responsibility to make sure their children are adhering to Islamic values. Moving to a Muslim country to make sure your children are living Islamic lifestyles can be considered a part of this. using physical means of bringing your children in line IS a part of Islam (for example, children can be beaten after the age of 10 to force them to pray) This is what …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 06:48 AM
10

I also think they know it’s some kind of carrot on a stick. Ah, I didn't even think of this because my mind doesn't even know how to manipulate. Leave it up to FDS to continually educate me about men's depravity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 06:17 AM
16

I'm sorry but this is ignorant. There are real Islamic reasons for what her parents did. Islam and Arab culture are so intertwined at this point, that it's impossible to say that Arab culture is something entirely apart from Islam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:56 AM
12

EDUCATION IS A MUST FOR EVERYONE, BUT ESPECIALLY WOMEN. If I wasn't educated, I probably never would have left Islam. I never would have seen anything beyond what my parents had allowed me to see/engage with. If I wasn't educated, I probably would have ended up married young, with already a number of children at 26. I wouldn't even know what I had missed out on. I probably wouldn't even realize any issues with being mistreated or being denied my humanity, because I wouldn't know any better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:55 AM
5

H-how can she be intimate with this guy after he told her something like this? Part of feeling turned on is feeling desired by your partner. If you don't feel desired, how can you relax and enjoy yourself enough during sex?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:57 AM
26

Two children already? I don't understand how women can have children with men who won't marry them. This seems crazy to me. Maybe they think he'll get married to her if she has a kid with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 03:32 AM
25

Why are men so reluctant to commit these days? Even when their partners have already had their kid(s)?? With a kid, their bachelor days are over anyway. They're pretty much bonded to this person for life. Seems like they drag their feet simply as a way to deny giving the woman respect and worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 03:30 AM
1

I pretty much ghosted my LVM dad at 15... And the funny thing is, 10 years later, I'm still living with my parents. I just don't remember having a full conversation with him for the past 10 years, even while living under the same roof. I ignore him for the most part. He'll ask me questions and I'll answer them. He knows he won't get anything from me other than really basic answers, so he doesn't try to be involved in my life (not that he ever did try). He will occasionally tell me that he regret…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 06:47 AM
14

I really haven't found this to be the case. Maybe I've just been lucky, but most guys I've matched with will be surprisingly honest about what they want. They're pretty disgusting about it too. For example, I had a guy tell me he wanted to "say hi with our hands with the lights out" Some straight-up asked for a hook up. And others asked for a consistent FWB. The guys who said they wanted relationships were very serious from the get-go. They took me to events, introduced me to friends and family,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 05:38 PM
35

This is disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 06:11 PM
28

In an ideal world where the sexes are completely equal (socially and biologically) yes I agree it would be empowering. If men always put effort into pleasing a stranger during casual sex, then yes, again, I believe it would be empowering. However, we don't live in an ideal world. Women face consequences for their actions, and oftentimes more so than men. Women biologically have a higher rate of getting infected with STIs and also are more likely to be unable to separate sex from emotion. But the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 06:52 AM
28

Thanks for posting this !! It's wonderfully written and I'm sure many women here, like me, can relate. I'm turning 26 in about a month. Never had a boyfriend. I thought it was possible two years ago with the only guy that I've ever connected emotionally with, but it turned out there was a religious incompatibility. Every guy before or after has either just been a crush for physical attributes or someone to pass the time with. I'm over it now. I really am. I'm in a cutthroat academic program and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:06 PM
2

is something you do in your early 20s Uh, no it's not? A lot of women don't engage in sex with their friends. Hookups at parties, flings, etc. are another story, but I don't think the average college aged woman is casually having sex with her guy friends. And casual sex/FWB is not shamed much at all. Women get shamed way more for being a "prude" within hookup culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 07:03 AM
2

ouch. I hope for their sake they sandpaper the hole before using it :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 07:04 PM
15

LOL dated a guy like this! We just talked about our mutual love for tacos on our first date. He also totally fanboyed over a matcha latte I suggested he try :) He had never tried it before. I appreciated he was open to trying new things and had such a wholesome reaction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 06:13 AM
116

It's pretty easy to tell the difference to be honest. A guy who finds you attractive but doesn't like you will focus on your looks. His compliments will only be about physical characteristics. When you talk to him, it doesn't seem like he's interested in what you're saying. Most of the time they're just waiting until you're done talking. He doesn't ask for your opinion because he is not interested in it. A guy who finds you attractive AND is interested in you will enjoy talking to you. He enjoys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 06:09 AM
109

I've said it before and I'll say it again: A good portion of men in medicine are complete assholes. Don't be fooled by the "future doctor" or an MD after their names. They're arrogant, narcissistic and will do whatever they can to get what they want (including sex and affection from an oblivious girl who they think they're better than so she doesn't deserve commitment from him). A lot of people go into medicine for the wrong reasons, but it's especially bad among men. I say this as a med student…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 12:05 AM
2

I can see that, but I personally prefer the non-Western approaches to relationships/marriages. Each spouse has certain duties to each other. There is less of an emphasis on having the motivation to do something than just doing it if that makes sense. People fall out of love all the time. Sex may get stale or maybe even be moved to the wayside, but this isn't a reason for the marriage to dissolve, because the marriage is ideally based on so much more than just sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 08:10 PM
10

This again? I honestly think western society is MUCH too sex-focused. It's a bit ridiculous actually. Maybe I'm low libido or whatever, but I've lived my 25 years just fine not having regular sex. I prefer Eastern/Asian viewpoint when it comes to marriage: the focus is more on duty, responsibility, and teamwork and less on some vague notion of "happiness" and pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 07:56 PM
73

While there are some women that men will choose not to even interact with (i.e. "ugly" or below average women), I think men tend to be attracted to most average to above-average women. It's just their biology. They don't tend to be as picky as us. When you're attracted to multiple different women, though, the only thing that makes a difference between them might be their personality. Guys tend to like a bubbly, carefree personality. All the bubbly, social, cute girls I know are in relationships.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 08:08 AM
16

Just found out that this fuckboy in our med school class got a girlfriend. He posted her all over his social media this week. I'm kind of pissed because this guy led on a lot of the girls in our class and ended up cheating on his past girlfriend. And while all these girls are amazing, they're still single, yet this guy just waltzes into a relationship all of a sudden with a girl he met on Hinge. I'm sure his new girlfriend doesn't know anything about who he even is. I really feel like dating is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 07:46 AM
12

I mean not only that, but isn't it considered a low value trait to post nudes of yourself online? I say this with love - not to shame her. She can do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 05:04 AM
32

Yeah I was a total naive idiot when I started dating and ended up getting pinned down by a guy when I told him I didn't want to have sex with him on the second date. Girls/women can't afford to be naive. We have our intuitive abilities for a reason. I suggest we all learn to use them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 04:57 AM
3

I know :) They have such a pure, innocent love for each other
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:09 AM
1

I actually stayed up reading some stuff on his website, mainly his "what I wish I did/didn't do in my 20s" and I was shocked to realize how similar we were, even though I'm a girl. For example, he wishes he was more active in the party scene and had joined a frat in college. I always regret never having joined a sorority. It's an easy way to expand your social circle and meet both men and women. People who made 100s of friends in college were always in Greek life. I also regret being so straight…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 08:09 PM
1

I've never heard of this technique, but when you describe it the way you have, it definitely seems like more guys should be doing this. I'm honestly to read something like this on PPD. And at least you're appreciative of what these women are doing for you (at least I hope you are?).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 11:49 AM
2

OH! So you want to have casual sex with HOT girls?? Yeah, that's not possible for like 90% of men, possibly even more. Most "Chads" that you see are sleeping with average girls. Most hot, normal girls have sex in relationships. My cousin probably has sex with weirdo Anime fangirls, I dunno. He has lots of female friends that I've met, so I don't think he's lying. I've also seen him pick up a waitress right in front of my eyes. It was like magic. We were all in shock considering his appearance. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 10:20 AM
2

"The straights are definitely not OK"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 06:49 AM
4

I haven't seen them myself, so I wouldn't know. I think one was Persian and the other was Asian, though. The point I was trying to make was that any guy can get casual sex, but they have to be some combination of outgoing, social, and cocky/irreverent. A sense of humor always helps too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 06:10 AM
1

Are you not aware that unattractive, fat, and/or short guys can get casual sex? My cousin is a hairy, overweight, short guy who has 2 FWBs currently. One clearly has feelings for him and she sticks around even though he repeatedly told her he doesn't want a relationship with her. If I had to guess how he's out there having sex when he's conventionally unattractive, it's probably because he does not give a fuck. About anyone or anything. This guy lives for himself and his interests and no one els…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 05:32 AM
2

I only use reddit for FDS these days. It's the only dating advice I've used that's actually useful for women. Instead of being open with my feelings and experiences, I've started becoming a lot more reserved and cautious in the initial stages of getting to know someone. Instead of going with the flow, I've become very good at being clear about my boundaries early on. If a guy crosses any of my boundaries, he's thrown away. Guess what happened? Guys were more interested in me. They went out of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 02:10 AM
5

RPW is a much better alternative Granted I don't know much about that sub, but I can't imagine this being true at all. From the little I read, it seems to be a sub about serving your man, while accepting little to nothing in return. No human being can be truly happy with that life. Why would you think this?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 01:39 AM
27

I've been socialized to be relatively restrictive with my food intake, since I grew up in a rich white suburb. I eat maybe 1000 calories a day on average and I'm about one point away from being underweight (BMI of 19). I only eat whole foods (i.e. nothing processed). Mostly fruits and veggies, with some proteins and rice thrown in. My dad got me these deep friend oreo beignets the other day and I physically couldn't eat them. (another story entirely as to why he bought them when he knows I don't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 09:53 AM
11

Ew yikes. This one makes my skin crawl. I would lose any interest to see him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 09:22 AM
36

Does writing "no hookups" even work? Guys make fun of it all the time on reddit. One particularly bad one said that those girls are the easiest to hook up with. UM probably because they think it's not just a hook up because they wrote "no hookups" on their profile and you took advantage of that?? I'd rather just "play a dumb fox" and ask THEM what they're looking for first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:49 PM
8

I was going to comment the same thing. This story gives me a really icky feeling. Why was she freely having sex with this guy when she wasn't really into him? I assume she was also having sex with the guy who would eventually become her boyfriend. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:38 PM
43

This doesn't make any sense. COVID-19 can be transferred by BREATHING on each other. Sex requires you to be close to each other. Close enough that you're sharing respiratory droplets whether you're kissing or not. This is misinformation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:20 AM
2

I’m thinking some kind of kink/fetish a guy had?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 11:15 PM
10

A guy I worked with was clearly interested in me. Multiple people noticed and told me. Instead of waiting and letting him make the moves, I went with standard Reddit advice and told him I thought he was good-looking and wanted to get drinks with him. He texted me he thought I was really cute, but ended up completely ignoring me from that point on. We had one date at his place (of course) and he kissed me. He told me to text him when I wanted to hang out again. I did, but he asked me to give him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 11:12 PM
5

I didn't do anything :/ I'm not sure what I would have done. I was only 18 at the time. Also, the university Starbucks gets pretty crowded so there were a ton of people there. Most likely, very few people even noticed them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:46 PM
71

Gosh, I still remember witnessing my first public break-up in our university Starbucks. I walked in to buy a coffee and there was this girl bawling her eyes out and the guy just sat there, so stoic. It freaked me out how he wasn't even reacting to her emotions or trying to comfort her. The attitude was just like "let her have her moment and then I'll leave"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 07:28 AM
7

I've often wondered what I'd do in this situation, so I like that you mentioned you would forward the message to his loved ones. Makes total sense and absolves you in case he's not lying or trying to manipulate you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 07:26 AM
9

Gosh, I think even the third date is so, so soon. This lady has sex on the first date? She doesn't even know the guy! I mean, I'm pretty sure even when we were hunter-gatherers there was some amount of getting to know each other before engaging in an activity that could result in a baby. This just seems unnatural to me :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 07:26 AM
1

Honestly 10 doesn't even seem that bad. The numbers add up when you're single. I started dating about 8 months ago and I've already kissed 5 guys 😬, and three of those guys I went home to make out with in their rooms. If I dated each of these guys for 3 months+, eventually having sex with them, that would put my number at 5. That could easily happen within a 3 year period and our 20s last 10 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 05:49 AM
4

And the same dudes who are interested because I have such a low number are the same ones who get bored / frustrated because eod my lack of experience. Don't tell me this is a thing :/ At 25, I've only had sex once (only one position because it hurt too much to try anything else). I wasn't planning on having sex again until I was in a relationship. now you're telling me a guy might judge me for NOT having had sex? Ugh what has this world come to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 11:49 PM
6

Oof. This is a rough story. Sorry you had to go through that. If you were following FDS rules, it shouldn't have been too painful though. At least you didn't have sex with him, you know? It would have been so much worse if you gave your body to him, only for him to dump you after. I know the FDS stance is that we should wait for a guy to mention commitment to us. That way we know he's for real and not just playing us. If he doesn't within 3 months, we kick him to the curb. But I think in this ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 11:39 PM
2

I mean, I could do that, but I'm not as attracted to older guys. I'm 25 myself, but anything over 30 just creeps me out. I find that I don't have as much in common with them. It sucks, but I've only really felt a connection with guys within 2 or 3 years of my age. I feel like I have to constantly present myself as "wife material" to older guys. Whereas with guys my age, I can just be a kid and relax a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 11:20 PM
7

Have any of you been to /r/whereareallthegoodmen? It's such an infuriating subreddit. They take the profiles of fat women or single mothers on tinder and publicly shame these women for having any kind of standard. It's disgusting. It's like "I found this woman who has the AUDACITY to want a loving relationship after having a kid." Um, so you have a problem with a random woman asking for a relationship online? What do they expect young single mothers to do? Just sit on their hands all day because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 11:11 PM
1

It really sucks that it's so widespread. Many women claim to like it too, so I think a lot of guys just do it assuming you will like it as well. I was talking to a friend (who's had a lot of casual sex) about this who said she'd actually feel turned off if a guy asked her to choke her before doing it. She wanted him to just be aggressive in bed and go for it 😬. I think you and I are similar in that we aren't very experienced so we were a bit shocked by the sudden choke. I don't know about you, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 10:51 PM
10

Isn’t that kinda what Jews do?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 07:29 PM
8

I guess I'm a little more defeatist and cynical when it comes to the whole love/romance thing than other people. I've never experienced it and my parents don't love each other so I just don't believe it exists. I don't want to be someone's long-term girlfriend, only to find out years later they changed their mind about marriage. Most men are low value. You can do what you can to filter them out, but at the end of the day even the most high value man you meet may become low value years into marri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 09:52 PM
9

Desi woman here. Your parents are not representative of all desi people. My desi mom raised me to be a feminist, to not put up with shit, and to demand what I want/need from people. She told me that the most important thing I could do for myself is get a good education so I won't be dependent on anyone else. She consistently calls out my dad's low value behavior (not helping out around the house, making bad financial decisions, not spending enough time with his family). Unfortunately my dad inte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 09:29 PM
27

Wow this woman's 32! She looks so young!! #whatwall
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 09:12 PM
17

Well I'm in medical school right now and the guys in my class (i.e. future doctors) can be divided into three categories. Truly empathetic, altruistic men who put others before themselves (i.e. HVM) Frat bros who went into medicine for the lifestyle: money, bitches, and cars Shy studious nerds Category 1 guys tend to be taken going into med school (usually a college girlfriend). Some of them are even married before going into med school in their mid-20s. Some make a fellow med student their girl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 02:20 AM
2

I come from an affluent background, so maybe my views on this are skewed :/ If you're working class in high school or have barely enough loan money to cover your living expenses in college, I guess it makes sense?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 11:52 PM
8

They don't understand because they have never had the experience of being a woman having sex. If you're not comfortable or turned on, it can hurt a lot. Also, women are naturally only attracted to less than half of men. We're not like men in that we can fuck anything and still feel turned on. Most of us can only orgasm when we feel safe, aroused, and can trust the guy who's fucking us, which guess what? Is not a common occurrence in the porn industry. Most of us can't orgasm from PIV sex. We nee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 11:32 PM
25

I think it's kinda cute, but it's definitely the bare minimum type of gift I'd expect from a ZVM/NVM. For 12 months, I'd expect a hotel room and/or a vacation 🤷‍♀️If that's not possible then dinner and dessert at a high-end restaurant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 11:19 PM
14

Here it is Free shipping if you have prime
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 10:55 PM
5

This is amazing. You're very lucky to have your dad. Meanwhile my dad yelled at my mom the other day for not making the "right" items for dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 10:39 PM
27

It's 12 dollars on amazon lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 10:36 PM
3

Can someone explain why black men tend to be more "woke" about these dating, gender dynamics, etc? I've found that black dating coaches are the types to also "tell it to you straight" and then I also see these tweets on FDS written by black men that could have been written by a feminist woman. Why is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 08:27 PM
48

Property in Portugal IDEALLY? LMAO, doesn't get much better than this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 03:44 AM
2

Yeah, I can see this. I think a lot of them may end up divorced too, if they end up getting married "when they're ready." You can't just turn yourself into a different person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 12:43 AM
9

HELL YEAH! You go girl. By the way, I wanted to point out, that if your boss had approached a male with this request, the male would have been like "yeah I fucking deserve this and I can fucking do it" We need to start having confidence in ourselves! For example, a lot of women drop out of computer science majors even though they were getting the same or BETTER grades than their male counterparts, simply because they felt inadequate and doubted themselves along the way. The guys meanwhile were s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 11:44 PM
10

For those of who have been able to see the progression of a typical fuckboi, what does it look like? I'm in my mid-20s and a lot of guys my age are still in the "sow my wild oats" mindset. But... what happens to these physically attractive, manipulative guys as they age? Do they settle down in their 30s (as the story goes)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 11:42 PM
11

Hmm, I don't know. I remember specifically checking Hinge reporting rules to find that. Maybe check CMB rules? As for OKCupid, I doubt you can report someone for that. Looks like it's a free-for-all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 12:53 AM
46

Keep reading this subreddit. Read it every day for a few months. You'll be surprised at how quickly your views change. I went from specifically looking for FWB-type situations on dating apps because I didn't believe I deserved more, to now feeling disgusted with the idea of giving my body to someone who doesn't love me. The thing is, most women, even Pick Me women KNOW deep down that they don't like the situations they're in. They often find themselves in these situations because they think ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:42 PM
81

It's likely that he's trying that "casual" shit with women. A lot of people don't know this, but you can report someone on Hinge for not adhering to their guidelines, which includes only being on there to look for relationships. So you can report someone for asking for a hook-up or saying they're not looking for anything serious. I highly recommend women to report men who ask them for hook-ups on Hinge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:33 PM
23

LOVE the brutal honesty of this post. Women and men are NOT the same. We're wired and socialized completely differently. I think a lot of women react positively to these texts because if they themselves reached out to a guy they would do so after thinking about him a lot and maybe even longing for him. Guys are not like that. They just became horny and want an easy lay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:05 PM
257

I had met a celebrity make-up artist who had done Tom Cruise's make-up a number of times. She said he was the worst, most annoying celebrity she had to work with. On a more positive note, she also said Halle Berry had the best natural skin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 10:50 PM
26

Men love promiscuous, sexually available girls. They lust after them. They'll never tell you this of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 08:56 AM
81

Average man: hmm, I wonder why a busty blonde would commit suicide? Maybe it's because she lived her entire life being taken advantage of for her beauty or being perceived as a certain person because of her physical appearance or being forced to play a role that she was uncomfortable with. Guys don't realize the simple truth that there is a HUMAN MIND underneath that hair. A human mind with fears, hopes, and a psychological need for self-actualization and fulfillment. A human mind that probably …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 09:51 PM
6

This is helpful, thank you :) Any tips on how to become more comfortable with your emotions and feeling them fully? Also, any advice on how to feel less burdensome when texting would be helpful too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 09:39 PM
2

Is Shera married? I noticed a ring on her ring finger in the one video I watched of her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 08:50 PM
9

Yeah I get what you're saying. Nowadays with terms like "simp" to describe a good man and the "coolest" guys having casual sex with multiple women, boys are being socialized to think that that's what you need to do to gain social status. No matter what we tell them at home, the world is going to reward them for doing the exact opposite. If for some reason they don't grow up to be popular and attractive, then they'll likely be deep in some depraved porn shit or gaming world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 07:51 PM
12

If you have any doubts whatsoever about raising a male child abort it or pay for a procedure that will give you female sperm only. Whoa, yeah I don't think I can do that. There must be a way to teach them self control. Too bad there are no resources out there. Children growing up with easily accessible porn is a relatively new thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 07:04 PM
14

Yes, my longest situation with a guy was 3 months and it was only because he wouldn't take "no" for an answer and was extremely pushy. I would never have to initiate any contact with him. He really didn't mind having to do all the work, which is fine for my avoidant ass I guess, but this can be problematic too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 06:49 PM
14

Got me one present for Valentine's day - a chocolate bar. He ate it. Oh my god, girl, I'm so sorry, but this made me laugh. The audacity of this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 06:45 PM
20

Gross. I grew up in a restrictive household, and waited until I was sure Islam wasn't true to masturbate lol, so I started at 21. I think if I wasn't religious, it would have been 14/15 when I tried it. A lot of women receive their first orgasm from a guy, actually. They don't even masturbate on their own. Why do guys always seem to start so young?? Is there a way to prevent this from happening? Boys will be exposed to porn one way or another. I fear having to raise a son in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 06:38 PM
63

Yeah, I'm pretty avoidant and have also never been in a relationship. People don't tell you this, but a woman does have to imply interest in a guy before he feels comfortable approaching her. I don't generally do this. I just recently started smiling at guys. I've heard, "I can't read you" from a lot of guys I dated. I just simply don't share my emotions or even what I want. It's probably because I was shot down when I asked my parents for things as a kid. I also have a very difficult time initi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 06:35 PM
49

Huh, I can see this, but I think it's because they've always been that way. I can see like a 20-something fuckboi getting away with being creepy when he's cute and young, but it definitely stops working when they're like in their 40s. You go from being a playful sex-driven "goofball" to a creepy old man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:36 AM
14

Just out of curiosity, what's a "normal" amount of condoms for a guy to have in his drawer? Also, if a guy has lube, too, is that an indication that he's sleeping around?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 06:56 PM
45

I'm pretty sure it is. Seems like a little self-deprecatory humor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 01:26 AM
29

They cannot see us as people if they tried. They cannot. This shocked me the most when I found out in my mid-20s. I was pretty sheltered growing up and kind of a loner until 24. My parents raised me in a gender neutral way. I honestly didn't even think of myself as "female." I just existed. I was extremely ambitious and wanted to go into a career path where I'd be financially secure for life and would be able to live independently. Guess how many guys I met who cared? 1. Literally only one guy I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 01:20 AM
41

It is depressing, especially the fact that they rarely seem to be able to see things from our perspective. In fact, like you said, I'm not even sure if they see us as human like them - with fears, hopes, dreams, failures, etc. of our own. I hate being seen as primarily a body by them, because that's such a small part of who I am. I don't know how others deal with it in general, but I had to go on antidepressants a few weeks after losing my virginity to a man who said he cared for my comfort but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 01:00 AM
3

But the thing with herpes is sometimes people don't have symptoms from it. They might not even know if they have it or not. But I guess I could look for some low N-count guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 07:28 PM
4

Question about oral, since it's mentioned quite a bit on FDS: I'm deathly afraid of STDs, particularly herpes, which can be transmitted orally to your genitals. Is there a way to prevent this? I heard nobody uses dental dams. Luckily I can orgasm from fingering. I've never allowed a guy to do oral on me, so I'm not sure what I'm missing out on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 07:22 PM
5

Hmm, based on this and your other comments, I would agree that you should work on your self-esteem and self-sabotaging behaviors. There are more guys out there, though. Just take what you learned and hopefully you'll have a better outcome in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:01 PM
1

What was the argument about? Sometimes when you're in it, you can't be completely objective. Maybe we can help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 09:10 PM
2

How do you know if he was a HVM? Also, do you know why he dumped you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 07:46 PM
7

Before I found FDS, I did look into the youtube dating advice scene, and came across his videos. I even bought "Get the guy" (his book) and read it cover to cover. It was vague and not helpful at all. I honestly don't even remember much of the advice, except something about striking conversations up when you're out and about. I find the advice on FDS is much more actionable. It's actually very simple, and I think Matt Hussey and others like him try to complicate things, when things aren't that c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 05:26 AM
13

Yeah, it's not a perfect system, but it's great compared to modern American dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:51 AM
25

That's awesome. Thanks for sharing. Makes me feel more hopeful and encouraged about the rishta process, especially since I will likely be going through it since I don't have time to date in med school. I'll be done with my residency at 31 and really don't want to see what's out in the American dating pool at that age, since it's already so full of LVM scum at 25. I'd rather go through the rishta process because it's more dignified in a lot of ways. Also, you don't get strung along. It's also nic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 03:23 AM
28

Oh, you're South Asian too? Interesting. Are you open to an arranged marriage as well? I go back and forth, since I'm not religious anymore and don't wish to live an overly religious lifestyle. I guess my perfect "suitor" would be someone like me - having certain traditional values when it comes to marriage and family, but also being more liberal/flexible with regards to religious observance and gender roles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 03:12 AM
90

Great post. I had never heard of this book before. I think it's interesting when the psychotherapist asks Cathy how she would feel if one of her students was in the type of relationships she was in, and she says she wouldn't wish that for any of her students. As I've begun to deepen my interactions with men through dating, I've started asking myself - would I want this for my daughter? Would I advise my daughter to date or hook up with this person? It's a great way to reveal to yourself if you'r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 03:05 AM
106

This is one thing I actually like about South Asian culture in the United States - if you're meeting potential suitors through community matchmaking, the expectation is that you'll be married within 1-2 years. No bullshit. No stringing along. The parents and the community support this timeline and make sure the process doesn't go on for a needlessly long amount of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 02:54 AM
16

A lot of people are surprised when I tell them that you can get certain STDs even WITH condoms, and these typically are the more "permanent" ones, like HPV and HSV (i.e. herpes).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 03:04 AM
67

in that generic sears catalog model way LOL why is this so accurate 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 08:27 PM
2

Hey! I'm 25 and noticing something similar. I feel like guys were a bit better in high school and my early years of college. Something happens around the end of college. I think the current hookup culture/casual sex culture has really warped some of their minds. The idea of settling down with one, special woman early on is just not a thing a lot of guys aspire to anymore. Whereas 10-20 years before, sex was pretty much reserved for exclusive relationships. Nowadays, guys can get sex from any of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 01:44 AM
3

Yeah, I was pretty pleasantly surprised when I came across that sub a few years ago. It definitely gets weird/problematic at times, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 01:16 AM
1

What is future faking? Is it when a guy claims that he wants a relationship, when in fact he just wants a NSA relationship with her? Personally, all the guys I've interacted have been up-front about what they wanted - whether it was a relationship or something casual. But that's also because I make it a point to ask them what they are looking for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:59 AM
1

That's awesome! Where'd you find him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:34 AM
18

Yes, I agree. Even 6-7 years ago, things weren't this bad. I remember most guys were very respectful, actually! I was 19 when I last tried online dating. I literally put my pics up there with no makeup on because I was so naive (mind you this is like 2013, before the huge numbers of insta models arrived, becoming the standard of beauty). I remember the guys were quite sweet, actually. No one even pressured me for anything except a date with them. I would get "good morning beautiful" texts from t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 11:34 PM
2

Wait so how do different people just happen to learn these same tactics?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 10:23 PM
15

It took me a long time to realize that I had done nothing wrong here. You can't take back something like choking. Even if I had told him not to do it after, the deed was already done. He showed me who he was. I do tell guys before making out now that I don't like to be choked, which is absurd to me, but it's the world we live in. Of course they're like "I would never choke you," but who knows? I just really didn't want to risk getting surprise-choked again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 06:11 AM
32

Well it's a good thing I found out on the second date then
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:06 AM
69

That was honestly the most traumatic part of it for me - the fact that he tried to turn things around to blame me. It clued me in to the ways of men, though, for better or for worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 04:59 AM
7

Ah, this is a much better way to think about it. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 04:49 AM
136

I told a guy I didn't want to see him again because he choked me during a makeout session (yes, not even sex lol). He FLIPPED out. He said "you didn't have to make me feel like a POS" and "I told you communication was KEY" I had just started dating and I was so confused. I was like... does this guy seriously not see a problem with choking someone on a 2nd date he didn't know very well?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 04:41 AM
9

I know the quarantine is really not helping 😂 I will for sure try to find a club in my area. I think there are some meet up groups? I do want to take a class or two before getting back out there in a group setting though. No use in stressing about it now though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 01:36 AM
3

Oh for sure. I went surfing a couple times with people from my grad school class, but I'm not really close friends with them so I felt awkward asking to come out again, especially since they didn't invite me again. I snowboarded when I was younger but it's been years, and like I said, the friends that I have rn aren't into it. So I'm at this place, where I'd like to do these activities and get better at them, but have no one to do it with. It'd be cool if I could do them with a guy I was dating.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 01:24 AM
21

Thanks! I'm conventionally attractive so can't seem to find a way to improve physically, but I find the area I'm most "lacking" in is social activities. For example, I don't have pictures of myself doing anything outdoorsy, like camping, snowboarding, or surfing, mainly because my friends don't do those things so I have no one to do them with. I also don't have pictures of myself in upscale bars, clubs, etc, because again, I don't have friends to go with. I guess expanding my social circle is an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 01:12 AM
23

I've always believed that having no kids was better than having children with a man who isn't capable of being a good father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 10:29 PM
1

Are you talking about the halo effect? Like for example - the belief that boys who look like angels will actually be angelic in nature?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 08:29 PM
26

I've heard of Chad, but who's Tyrone? I'm assuming a black counterpart?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 06:02 AM
15

Girl, tell me about it! I'm similar to you - had no confidence in myself until I turned maybe 24. I had such bad self-esteem issues, I couldn't even tell if a guy was flirting with me. I genuinely could not believe someone would be physically attracted to me. Then I turned 24, and something just "turned on" like a switch. I felt more like a woman - definitely more attractive and desirable and guys started taking more of an interest too. I feel like I'm just starting my sexual/romantic journey in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:38 PM
12

And I also can talk about the things I like: science, phylosophy, videogames, YouTube videos... Nerdy things honestly. Newsflash: there are girls out there with the same interests. This idea that only guys talk about substantial things and girls talk about "basic" shit is sexist. I talk to my girl friends about philosophy and science, but we're all nerds so it makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 08:48 PM
11

I genuinely don't understand this comment. She's saying that she doesn't like it when girls make sexist jokes for male validation. What does that have to do with being able to be friends with guys? I think you can be friends with guys without making sexist jokes?? At least I hope so??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 08:38 PM
2

You may be on to something. I do notice that when there are no guys in my life, my skin clears right up, my mood improves, and my hair looks healthier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 08:34 PM
7

From the outside looking in, he seems like a very nice person. He's considerate of her needs, built her furniture, makes an effort to get to know her friends, and is on a high-value career path. But sometimes I feel like she's not very happy, particularly when it comes to their sex life. But you're right, I guess it's up to her to ask herself what she's willing to put up with and for how long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 04:52 AM
50

Eh, I think this is okay. Talking about specific wording, like LVM/HVM and the minutiae of FDS rules is probably not. I think it's okay to say that you, as a woman, are not in support of sexist jokes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 02:16 AM
8

One of my friends is in a relationship with maybe a medium value man (from what she's told me, it's hard to say if he's squarely LV or HV). She mentioned that he had choked her during sex one time. She immediately told him she didn't like it and he never tried it again and it's been years since. I think if a woman posted here about her partner choking her all of a sudden during sex, at least some of the comments would include "break up with him," but if the guy is genuinely apologetic and you be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 01:08 AM
9

So for all you know he could be wanting something casual? Dudes who are good at conversing usually have a lot of options. I just want you to be aware of that. I don’t want your time wasted. Maybe just say “random question - what are you looking for exactly?” Don’t say you’re looking for a relationship before he says he is. Ask him first, bc otherwise you won’t know if he’s saying the truth or not
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:00 PM
5

Do you know if he’s looking for a relationship? Also my advice for staying emotionally detached - just enjoy things for the time-being. Remind yourself nothing lasts forever and you will both grow old and die one day. He might change, you might change. Enjoy the ride and the human connection since it is so rare to find. Cherish it while it lasts. Of course, dating multiple men works way better but I understand that’s not always possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:25 PM
13

Was going through some of FDS mentions on other subs and I was amused by the idea that these redditor men (and some women) think we’re all fat, old, bitter, ugly women. And if we tell them we’re not, they refuse to believe it! It does not compute for them. I will admit that I am quite a bit bitter but I’m out of the dating pool for the time-being until it resolves. But that doesn’t mean I’m ugly or fat, LOL. And for fuck’s sake, I’m in my 20s, just like many other women are here. Like a conventi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:09 PM
6

In my experience, Hinge was the worst of them all (even worse than tinder). Too many manipulative fuckboys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 08:54 AM
3

This LVM was porn-sick (literally mentioned both strip clubs and blow job machines during a makeout session) and also quite manipulative and of course, selfish. I can totally see this happening because this guy presents as very charming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 05:08 PM
7

Do you guys know any HVW who entertained LVM for a short period of time? Found out that the awful LVM I ghosted a couple weeks back had a long term girlfriend back in college (we have mutual friends). She’s like a dream girl - beautiful, a social butterfly, and intelligent (was a software engineer like him). She leveled up and got herself a HVM after breaking up with this guy from what I heard. I know I shouldn’t be spending any time thinking about him or his ex, but it just gives me pause. She …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 07:17 AM
70

You’re doing great! I’m proud of you. I’m struggling with the same thing and also decided to take a step back. The quarantine does help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:24 PM
26

Reading accounts like this makes me wish we were all born fools. That we couldn’t truly witness the injustice, the spiritual destruction, and the dehumanization we face at the hands of men. I think it was a cruel joke for women to be blessed with intelligence but be placed in these female vessels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:15 PM
285

Omg this hurts to read because you know there are poor girls out there who have this exact same dynamic with their guys. Somebody help them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 07:36 PM
2

Ah okay. Forgive me for being totally ignorant about this, but how do I demonstrate enthusiasm?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 05:30 PM
2

Nice! How’d you find him if you don’t mind me asking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 09:17 AM
7

I am confused about FDS stance on initiating texts. I’m an avoidant so I naturally let the guy initiate all the texts but eventually I start to feel him pull back. I’m starting to think it is because they assume I’m not interested. As an avoidant, I have had this problem before where guys will not understand I’m interested in them. I guess I just want to know how to strike a balance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 09:16 AM
1

True. That’s why I’m trying to work on my self-esteem because I’ve been struggling with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 06:23 PM
2

Oh yeah this guy is definitely low value, no doubt. I wouldn’t even entertain a guy who asks for sex right off the bat. I think it is the lack of introspection that’s the overarching issue. If guys don’t sit back and really evaluate their choices then how are they going to realize they’re doing anything wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 05:36 PM
2

They start you off really easy in Krav Maga, but I started to have doubts about its effectiveness in real-world situations. From what I heard jiu jitsu grappling techniques are the way to go for women who want to learn how to fight men, but don’t take my word for it. I really like philosophize this! because I have a personal interest in philosophy. Hidden Brain is one of my favorites but it’s declined in quality a bit. For daily news, I’d check out either All things considered from NPR or the Da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 05:16 AM
7

Thanks for your comment. I have tried Krav Maga in the past and dabbled with rock climbing as well. I personally didn’t enjoy rock climbing as I find I don’t currently have adequate upper strength for it to be pleasant. It’s good to hear you found something you enjoy! I personally loved weight lifting and did that for about half a year (stopped in December). I just don’t have the mental strength to do that again because it’s a lot on the system, even though I did find it empowering. I was really…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 05:00 AM
14

Those are great choices! :) I would definitely recommend getting a good female therapist. I feel like my therapist truly understands my struggles with dating in a way a man would not be able to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:54 AM
18

Time, baby. Personally I’m going through my third iteration of “getting over an unrequited crush.” It’s bad now but I know from experience that in several months you won’t even really remember why you liked them so much in the first place. Our hormones do weird things to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:05 AM
30

I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was until I read this. Girls are shamed for wanting to cuddle or needing more foreplay (calling them “needy”), but if we’re going to meet a guy’s needs he should absolutely be meeting our very real, reasonable needs as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 01:26 AM
12

Good question. I don’t have an answer as I have mixed feelings about porn. I’ve watched in the past when I was especially sexually frustrated. It would bother me if a man I dated watched porn but it’s about more than just the content of the porn. It’s the idea that he’s getting off to another woman’s naked body that’s also bothersome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 08:35 PM
2

Thank you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 05:06 AM
7

Yes girl so many stories. My gut usually tells me on the first date something isn’t right, I usually ignore it and by the second or third date the guy reveals himself to be an asshole of some sort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 04:43 AM
3

My experience too! The only guy I dated who didn’t make my skin crawl was a progressive Christian like you described. Religion certainly has its flaws, but God-fearing men tend to have a warmth and gentleness about them. I just wish atheist men were a little more like that, because I’m atheist too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 01:41 AM
6

I think low libido men tend to be a bit better since they’re not as sex-driven. Personally, I’ve dated one man who was very sweet and self-effacing. I have above average intuitive abilities and he did not once trigger that “ick” gut feeling I usually get around men. I only ended things because he wasn’t ambitious. I guess you can only get one or the other 🤷🏻‍♀️. My grandfather is an example of a HVM. He grew up in an educated, but impoverished family (lost their money) in India though. He worked…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 01:29 AM
3

Taylor Tomlinson!! Girl, she is as anti-pick me as it gets!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:24 AM
2

Feeling old. I just realized that I’m turning 26 in 3 months. So not ready for that, wow. Can someone tell me that I still have time? That I don’t need to have everything figured out right now? Honestly, I’m not ready to get married or even for a LTR. I was a late bloomer (started dating at 25). I have so much regret over my past and lack of experience. I’m enjoying just meeting new people (not just guys), going to different events, and occasionally making out with cute guys. At the same time th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:22 AM
6

You’re right. Blocked. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:38 AM
3

And there are barely any men left after that, which is so sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 11:42 PM
8

How to feel comfortable with blocking? This LVM I went out with a few times can’t seem to take no for an answer and texts me every few weeks or so to see if I’ve changed my mind. I’m a pretty mentally strong but when it comes to just straight up blocking someone, I can’t do it, because I keep thinking about what the other person would feel. Which of course is stupid, but I guess I’m just too nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 11:39 PM
8

Kinda bummed about the social distancing. I had just broken off with the guy I’d been seeing before all of this madness. Now I’m kind of bored. Thinking of firing off tinder and trying to see where text conversations go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:08 AM
13

Are you the type of person who has gotten attached to people who don’t want them in the past? Maybe the fact that this is hard for you is because this guy is a good guy who has clearly demonstrated he likes you and wants to be you. This would be overwhelming for me personally because of my attachment issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:06 AM
15

That girl on the right is absolutely breath-taking. These guys are just either delusional or extremely insecure/jealous knowing that they would never get with someone like her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:55 AM
13

Lol exactly what I was thinking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:52 AM
1

I grew up in a very religious household and within that specific culture I would choose to be a man for purely practical reasons - like having more freedom/autonomy and being more appreciated/liked by my parents As for the dating world, I’m brown so being a brown guy would be worse than being a brown girl because I’d have to compete with white guys who get everything. So I guess just based on that, I’d prefer to be a brown girl
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/20 08:33 PM
1

THIS!! If they started wearing sunscreen as a 19/20 year old they would have already have a leg up on the other guys by mid-20. I swear some of these guys in SoCal claiming o be 26 look 40. I’m not exaggerating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 08:16 PM
15

What I hate is how women are shamed for not being able to “handle” their emotions when it comes to casual sex and/or FWB scenarios. It’s a perfectly normal, healthy, biological response to being continuously physically intimate with a man. Honestly, I worry more about the women who can “handle” it. I wish modern society would just let us be our unique feminine selves without suppressing that which makes us human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 06:36 PM
3

Isn’t this how the french still date? I think even when both parties know their time is limited, they engage in a very passionate, exclusive partnership for the time-being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 06:29 PM
4

I do see what you’re saying. It’s something I’ve been told by liberal women all throughout my 20s and a woman’s right to choose is important. But I ask you this: what is so wrong about being sexless in your 20s? So many women are told that they shouldn’t be wasting their prime sexual years by going celibate between relationships. It’s usually a combo of “you will never get this time back” and “your body will never look as good as it does right now” or “sex will never be as good as in your 20s.” …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 06:01 PM
9

See the problem I have with this is that while this may work for you, it doesn’t work for the majority of women. We catch feelings and FWB arrangements make us feel cheap/lonely/worthless. I have tried casual sex for the simple reason that “everyone was doing it” and it broke me. And you know, I felt guilty about that. I felt guilty for having normal human feelings about having a sexual relationship with a man who didn’t care about me as a person. Why did I feel guilty? Because casual sex is rid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 12:28 PM
17

Haha I love how charmingly specific this is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 12:18 PM
6

No my brother is surprisingly a HVM. Not sure how that happened as I turned out to be a LVW pick me type growing up in the same household. He’s 19 and has never dated anyone. Girls have approached him but he won’t give any girl a chance unless he sees her as relationship material. He’s still a virgin, and has not consumed alcohol or drugs (could also be bc he’s a bit more religious). He can’t even fathom the idea of “using” a woman through ONS or FWB. He just rejects LVW. I’m proud of him but I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 09:54 PM
1

What do you mean by low maintenance?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 06:57 AM
1

“Why didn’t she MAKE him wear a condom” Guys will still ask to take it off or even slip it off themselves without asking. Many women have experienced this, just so you’re aware. Women have to be extra careful because most guys are careless about safe sex And also - just because SOME men are in “protective” professions doesn’t mean they treat their women well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 06:28 AM
0

Oh man. The delusion. Did you know that women are more likely to rate themselves LOWER on the physical attractiveness scale than men are? Did you know women are nearly twice as likely to suffer from depression? And also more likely to suffer from eating disorders and body dysmorphia? Btw, a lot of women don’t even use social media and if they do, they keep it private. If you chose to look up from your screen and actually meet a real life woman you would know that. Almost every piece of media sen…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 06:24 AM
2

You’d be surprised. I was talking with some cute, former sorority girls in my grad school class, and their experiences with guys are pretty much the same as what FDS talks about. They just kind of laugh it off though as “omg guys are the worst” instead of writing long rambling posts on the internet about it. If anything, the women on FDS struggle with confidence and self-esteem issues. I don’t think it has to do with physical attractiveness or aiming for guys out of their league though. I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 06:02 AM
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