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tinkerb3lll Archive

View 15 posts and 288 comments by tinkerb3lll on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

She won't, she just thinks she will and has convinced herself she will
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 10:13 PM
1

Where they still find themselves miserable and unhappy but at least they unhappy and miserable by themselves. 100%, we all own our own happiness but few people actually own that accountability and responsibility of making themselves happy or owning their unhappiness.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 10:12 PM
2

See if she okay with you moving back, you may not need to ask, if it makes sense to move back do it, it's your house. If she can't buy you out, you probably better off moving back. Do you have enough rooms that you both have you own space. Living in a house with negative energy is not healthy for you or her. But do what make sense to you. Sounds like you both can help each other, you both need jobs though and contribute to the bills.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 10:10 PM
2

It's still half your house, you probably going to have to sell it. How will moving back help you at this point ? Has she agreed to sell it ? You can move back, but you need to decide if that's best for you. You don't lose the house. Are you still paying the bills ? Yes you can move back. Who's name is on the title ?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 08:45 PM
10

Sounds like you have a lot of healing to do. Be careful but also don't paint everyone with the same brush. Take the time to work on yourself and heal, it takes a long long time. Work on yourself, find peace, enjoy life. Protect yourself with future relationships, not everyone is your Ex. I like the idea of 24 hours, I used to tell people, 1 year relationships sounds ideal or a 1-5 year relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 01:07 PM
2

The day I walked out the door was the last day I spoke to her. I told her, when I walk out this door it will be the last time you will hear from me and I meant it. I never contacted her, it has been over 6 years now. It took me 4.5 years to feel whole again.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 01:04 PM
4

I can't make the choice for you, moving out probably was not a good choice. Here is the thing is, when women start checking out, it happens months if not years before we realized. When they tell us, it seems fresh and out of the blue for us, but for them they checked out long time ago, they in the finalization stages. Sounds like you doing the right things to heal, it's hard but the journey is worth it even if a lonely one.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 01:01 PM
5

Why did you move out ? It's your house as well right ? Yeah absolutely do not contribute or fix the house, she can do it. Proceed with separating and divorce, it's over. It's not her call whether she pays spousal support or not, just like it is not ours. Mine called the cops on me, her friends were teaching her how to get me thrown out, it never worked, but as soon as she did that I stopped ALL work on the house, before that I was getting the house ready for sale. It is what it is, don't feel gu…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 04:14 PM
2

This 100%
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 04:07 PM
6

Stop playing house. Someone told me once, "Healing only starts when you move out". I never understood it at the time, I only realized it was true when I did, but took a long while. Financially it makes sense, it may even make sense for the kids, but emotionally and your mental health, absolutely not. I stayed about about 3 months, kids are all grown up, best thing I did was move to a different city, cut off all contact with her. I miss the family unit, but the decision wasn't mine. Moving out wa…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 04:07 PM
2

Your situation is not unique unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:46 PM
4

Took me 4.5 years to feel whole again and like you still have to find my purpose. I am however content and happier. You at least have your kids which IS your purpose to succeed and grow and better yourself. Appreciate the smaller things in life, walks in the park, the fact you can feed yourself, have a roof over your head, pay your bills. Your job pays for this. There is life after divorce you just have to find it. It takes a LONG time to heal. I miss my family and the family unit but it is what…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:45 PM
3

Truth finally.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:40 PM
1

I used to post about a men's only support group, nothing toxic, just a men's only group and every post got deleted, so yeah you 100% wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:39 PM
-2

Rubbish
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:38 PM
8

Yeah it's run by women, I stopped posting there as soon as I realized my posts were getting removed. This is the place to be for men. Women or anti men comments should post in r/Divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:37 PM
2

Yup it's normal, I didn't read your wall of text, learn to use paragraphs if you expect anyone to read it. You will see the light and move on, cheaters WILL ALWAYS cheat, save yourself the time and heartbreak. I wanted the same, I smartened up and realized it would never have worked and I could never have forgiven her as hard as I told myself I could. I am glad she refused my offers of reconciling, it just wasn't meant. 20 years of marriage down the drain in 15 mins. 6 years later, I heard from …
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:35 PM
8

Hardly the truth, just toxic babble.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:32 PM
17

I agree, OP is a twit and yeah totally toxic and unsympathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:31 PM
4

Add cut up/remove access to credit cards, hard to do in the US/California, so someone should advise. That's what I did, I am in Canada and got lucky. Removing access will sure slow her down, mine had to pay for everything, she was livid.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:30 PM
5

Well done
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 12:53 PM
1

Sorry to hear that. Same advice we would give a man, there are different reasons people choose what they choose. Find someone who treats you right, we all get to start over and fix things we all did in our previous relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 02:46 PM
1

What does my parents have to do with my life :) To answer your question no. My dad passed away a long time ago. My mom just wants to see me happy, I think any parent just wants their kids to be happy whatever path they take, don't overthink it. At the end of the day, don't rely on external validation for anything, do what you want. Family law is broken. I am not against marriage, I enjoyed it and I would have stayed married if my Ex didn't decide to find someone on the internet. Family law is st…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 03:51 PM
1

100%
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 02:22 PM
3

Yup time to get out. Once you experience that freedom, you will never look back. Being single after a 20 year marriage for me is so freeing, I can now control every aspect of my life, it is great. I miss the family unit but I don't miss her. I can't even imagine someone else telling me what I can do with my money now, seems like such a foreign concept. Some women just aren't interested or have a low drive, that's just life.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 02:21 PM
8

Yup so true, 100%. Just a convenient excuse. OP needs to cut his losses and move on, lots of more interesting people to meet and experience. Don't settle and don't lock yourselves in, there is no point
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 02:17 PM
3

There is hope. It took me 4.5 years to feel whole again. It's also okay to be single, being in a relationship is not all it is made out to be. Sounds like you have a good life. I personally don't think you have given it enough time to heal and find yourself. Yes it is a choice and you get to choose your future. You still well young enough to meet someone else, but you need figure out first what you want and do you really want to be in a relationship and what that really looks like. Learn from yo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 02:13 PM
4

Me too, life is great. She died the minute she stepped out
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 01:44 PM
1

20 Year Marriage, 2 Kids. Life is great now, I am dating and enjoying life. I was given a gift of freedom. Don't waste that gift.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 01:42 PM
1

Good to hear, well done. Life moves forward, and so do we.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 03:49 PM
7

As others have said time is what heals a lot of time. It took me 4.5 years to feel whole again, insane right, the amount of time. But life moves on and so will you. You will eventually feel indifferent, when you ready, you will meet someone else. It's not even about you, people simply get bored with each other, it was not because you are not good enough or a good husband or a good father, none of it actually matters. Simply they are bored with their own lives. Unless they fix that they will just…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 02:47 PM
1

Disgusting
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 09:09 PM
1

None of us did or would, we all tell ourselves it won't happen to us, we are different, she is different, you are just jaded, then it happens and the light bulb goes on. Unfortunately most of us only learn by experience which is hard.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 09:04 PM
13

I wish we could warn these men, but they never believe us, they are in love and unfortunately have to learn the hard way. It's really sad how people use people. Staying single and in control and dating on the side is probably the way to go. Marriage is insane for this guy so quick but it happens all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 03:05 PM
1

We all were, but as long as we learn from our mistakes
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 03:04 PM
1

Yes tell her, and tell her you DON'T want kids. Don't be with someone who wants kids, it's unfair on both of you. Set your boundary in stone that you don't want kids. I got snipped after my 2nd kid and it was the best thing I could have done not realizing what would happened 20 years later. I thank my lucky stars I didn't have more than 2 kids and stuck with endless child support.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 04:50 PM
1

100%
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 04:48 PM
1

Nice. I need to teach my kids not to commingle their inheritance.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 04:47 PM
2

Well said, having a house is basically renting from bank and city. People like to convince themselves it's better than rent but it kind of the same thing, lots of expenses, you still paying the city and if you fail to pay your taxes, the city can auction your house off in a heartbeat.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 04:46 PM
2

I took the risk as well, my mortgage gives me a lot of anxiety, still owe $480K but I am going to try pay in off in the next 5-10 years and throw everything extra I got at it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 04:45 PM
6

Exactly never ever give control of your money to someone else, never put your head in the sand and don't take part in financial matters, what is getting spent. I handed the reins over to my Ex for a very short period and she went on a shopping spree and allowed me. Never again will I allow that, but it's something that happens. I believe in the 25% pay increase when you get divorced, I no longer have someone burning and buying things on my CC and expecting me to pay. I have pretty fully recovere…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 04:44 PM
1

Yeah what a scumbag. Hard and expensive lessons to learn, but as I say, as long as we learn from them and don't repeat our mistakes. I think most men will learn. The ones that will learn the most are the ones that lost a lot. I never understand people getting remarried 2-3 times, I probably can't relate since I have become very guarded, not necessary a good thing. I am 50+ so can't afford to do this again without compromising my retirement which just isn't worth the risk in my mind. If someone t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 04:42 AM
1

Fair.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 04:37 AM
2

It's insane how long it actually takes, our brains are bizarre. Took me 4.5 years to feel mostly whole again, we will still have memories until we don't
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 05:00 PM
1

Mine didn't pay a single bill OR mortgage payment, she got the house free and scott. Got to love divorce and no fault system. Learn from it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 06:23 PM
1

This
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 06:23 PM
1

This. My Ex made $35k a year, she thinks she won. Tunnel vision. I make considerably more and already recovered and I am only 5 years since, 10-15 years I am going to be smiling, she will still be working.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 06:22 PM
7

It's a bitter pill to swallow, learn from your mistakes don't do it again. I lost my $700K house as exchange for no spousal and child support. Today 5 years later, I am way better off, made most of my money back by buying a house which is in my name only. I am 50+ now, lesson learned. People have lost a LOT more, doesn't lessen the pain but could have been so much worse, you don't see now, but you will be just fine, come out stronger and smarter, it's a hard lesson to learn, just make sure you l…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 06:19 PM
2

It was a mixed bag, while I enjoyed certain aspects of it and the intimacy was great, it was dysfunctional. Because I never want to get married or move in with anyone, it's almost impossible for the relationship to actually go anyone. This may be different for someone who wants to get married or move or you meet a person that is more compatible. My generation advice is don't don't for 2 years, work on yourself, heal from the trauma. It took me 4.5 years to feel whole again from my marriage, to f…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 02:14 PM
4

It's ok to be single, it's ok to feel sad, it will pass. Once you realize the gift you have been handed 'freedom', it's intoxicating. I never want to be married again, never want to live with anyone again. Don't get boxed it, don't settle, don't date someone just because. Enjoy your life, embrace been single, heal and stop looking and she will show. I dated for 4 years and now I am enjoying my freedom. I didn't take the time to heal and process my divorce like I should have. I am content and enj…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 07:49 PM
3

Exactly, I walk around my empty house intoxicated still can't believe this is mine and no thanks I don't want to share it long term with anyone. Sleepovers only. My house my rules, no one messing it up, no one leaving dirty plates and glasses around, no drama, no BS, no renovating the kitchen just because. I am not against marriage but 2nd, 3rd and even 4th marriages do puzzle me, I mean why, zero benefit to me as a man and no I never want to be a provider again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 07:45 PM
5

Don't waste being single, you free and life can be great. You don't need someone to be happy. I will never marry again and doubt I can live with anyone. I enjoy being single and free but do miss the closeness with someone. For now i am enjoy life with my dog and the freedom is intoxicating.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 01:49 PM
4

I love your honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 01:48 PM
3

Yeah I bet a lot of them fake their happiness, happiness is a myth, but I hope they find it or at least content for destroying families for a mythical life of happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 01:46 PM
6

I am doing great, single, broke up after a 4 year FWB type relationship, financially doing well, my job is going well. I miss my family unit but it is what it is. Can't say if she is doing well or not. Seems to struggle socially and hasn't healed or acknowledged her problems. I am blessed and was handed a gift by my Ex, loving life, get's lonely sometimes, but I have a dog, my own house, eat whatever I want, buy whatever, have enough disposable cash. I live near my oldest daughter. TLDR: Doing w…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 01:45 PM
2

Well said and articulated and this is likely more common than not. The grass is rarely greener.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 01:42 PM
3

We run a support group which compliments this sub. It's changed many of our lives and continues to help people. We just a bunch of men going thru what you are going thru, trying to make sense of it, it doesn't. Time and more time. I am 4 years in and I still wonder but am living and happy with life. I have a new house (lost my last house to the X), living alone, I am loving the freedom, no financial burden, no emotional burden it's great. Try it out https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 01:42 PM
1

I hear you man. If someone told me 20 years ago, your wife would leave with your $700K house, I would have laughed in their faces, made fun of them and would have told them, they just bitter old men .. oh wait.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 05:32 AM
1

100% they won't find happiness this way
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 05:27 PM
1

Yeah but this isn't happiness, it is short lived and tunnel vision and the guy will get bored with her or her with him and the cycle continues.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 05:26 PM
1

You will, there is a light at the end of the tunnel for all of us even if it seems dark at the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 05:24 PM
2

Very inspiring, mine is similar to yours. Married for 20 years and X decided to ride and relive her teenage life with men on the internet. That being said, also married for 20 years, lost my last house to her, but purchased a new house, happier, lots of disposable income. I have a g/f, we each have our own homes, she does sleep overs once a week at my home. It's great, it's free, no financial obligations. Life can and will be better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 05:23 PM
5

Always be honest when asked, but you don't have advertise it. When I was doing I ended up with a girl, I was separated at the time, but so was she and I only found out when I asked. She had been separated for 10 years. She still is and has never got divorced as she got married in a different country. I have been divorced since then as I don't like loose ends.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 04:15 PM
4

I say it is real and plausible. I had a women tell me something similar who didn't know me and had no reason to tell me on FB when I was selling stuff on FB marketplace. I bet a lot of women do regret their decisions
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 06:41 PM
2

Yeah I did, gave her the house to make her go away, she took it like dangling a carrot in front of a horse. No regrets. No alimony, no child support, kept my retirement RRSP/401K instead. Bought a new house, got my equity back in 3 years, worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 03:13 AM
1

Thats my first thought when I read it as well.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 03:11 AM
1

yeah like WTF
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 03:02 AM
1

No you shouldn't. Why should you wait, what is he telling you. You can't put your life on hold and you shouldn't do that. So he is asking you to wait 7 years ?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 02:52 AM
3

I carried my phone and when I was around her, I turned and recorded the voiceapp. I made sure she knew I was recording, sometimes she just assumed I was. It was great.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 01:15 PM
2

Yeah definitely don't. Go get snipped if you don't any more kids, best thing I did in my life after my 2nd kid. Don't have a kid with a toxic women.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:44 PM
5

Touche
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:42 PM
8

No you won't brother, lots of fish in the sea. I am 51 and had a lot of medical cancer issues, went thru massive surgery and lost my oesophagus and half my stomach and I still was able to bag a lady who has been around for 4 years. You will find someone, you just need to be smart and not fall for any tricks and you will find someone on your terms.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:41 PM
4

This is how it should be. How old are you by the way?, I am 51 and have some similar, I am more in an exclusive / FWB, I really don't know what it is, but seems to work. We both love our space.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:39 PM
13

Yup exactly how you feel. I will never get married again and have no desire to buy a girl another house ever. I live alone and date. I have a FWB or a girl who spends 1 day a week with me, she has her own home, she likes to go and stay at her home and comes to see me once a week to get serviced, works well for both of us. I support her a little by buy a thing here and there that she needs as gifts for a birthday. I helped her with a plumbing issue. We both happy and it can work. Feels a little a…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:36 PM
9

Damn right it would, yup. Living alone is a great feeling, no one burning cash my on credit cards any more. Takes a long while to think like this and to heal but once you there, 'Freedom'
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:34 PM
3

Excellent, you a true MVP. It's my goal to help, educate men as long as I am alive to avoid what I had to go thru. The more we can educate men the better place the world will be.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 02:16 PM
14

Damn right, well said. Someone will really need to convince me why marriage makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 02:25 PM
2

I am dating a girl and we both have our own places, the relationship is challenging because of this arrangement. She comes over for sleepovers once a week, but at the same time I don't have to worry too much about financial things. You still can have an enjoyable relationship if you both know what is at stake. I may be a little disillusioned but am trying to figure out what I want down the road. So much happening in the world, right now just trying to enjoy life and heal and see where things lea…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 02:24 PM
3

I don't think I can trust someone again, but it does come down to being able to trust someone which is incredibly hard. I think if you remove the financial part by having a solid cohabitation agreement, then you can focus on the relationship as a couple. There is still a large financial component but at least I don't/shouldn't have to worry about someone only in it for what they can get out of the relationship. I am not sure how many women would actually date someone like this, but at the end of…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 02:21 PM
1

You can still play but protect yourself, it's a slippery slope I know and not easy but possible. It does change things. I have a g/f and we live in our own homes, but our relationship although enjoyable feels disjointed as I am protecting myself. I am not sure how long I can sustain it but just enjoying the ride for now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 02:15 PM
3

yup becoming very clear to me now, that's all they want. I will never get married again or live with someone without a cohab, they not getting my money the 2nd time around.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 07:04 PM
5

No way a man is ready in 6 months. Took me 3 years and even now I am not sure I am ready for a serious relationship. You should never pressure a man and if you can't wait you should move on. My thinking about relationships now and when I was at 6 months is night and day and very different, my feelings, my emotions, my desires, my fears. I say on average it takes a man 2 years to heal from a divorce, some take longer, some can fast track it, but on average a man needs 2 years to get over a marria…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 02:23 PM
1

How you feeling? and congrats, life sure does get better, don't box yourself in and learn from our mistakes, life can be great, free and single.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 02:59 PM
1

I would jump onto WA for now
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 02:10 PM
1

The discord phone verification isn't working I would jump on to WA for now and ask the locals. I suspect probably a discord issue in general or recently.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 02:09 PM
1

Let me ask, I don't use discord myself. I assume this is just discord and not the channel.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 02:01 PM
1

Let me ask, I don't use discord myself. I assume this is just discord and not the channel.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 02:01 PM
1

Yup, it is absolutely shameful of any parent to burden their kids with this type of information, mine did it and it was/is disgusting. But yeah kids knew before I suspected it. I went to my eldest and said she was having an affair not realizing what I was about to find out, my kid told my X she has to tell me and she did.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/22 03:56 PM
1

And they wonder why less and less men want to get married, men are catching on fast.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 04:50 PM
1

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 04:49 PM
1

Yeah those moderators I tell ya. I posted in that group about a man's support group and they removed the post, lame. I haven't bothered posting since, don't let it get to you
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 04:48 PM
1

No unfortunately, we tried to convert but people stuck to WA. We have a discord and WA channel.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 04:44 PM
2

This is brilliant.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 05:19 AM
2

Plus your money is hers and debts are shared, no thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 05:19 AM
2

Yeah good advice, marriage is just a piece of paper, it doesn't mean you love her or she loves you. Do the ceremony but still get a cohabitation agreement if you go this route.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 05:17 AM
1

That sucks, took me 2.5 years to get divorced, uncontested, judge kept throwing it out and the lawyer made mistakes, shameful.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 05:15 AM
1

Mean you still trying to get divorced ?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 06:34 PM
2

It's many conversations, about divorce, post divorce, about the court system, questions, what you should do. Things like my lawyer or X is telling me this, what do you think ? You have 50+ men's experience. It's not just a complaining forum, it's more of how to get thru this and keep my sanity and know you not doing it alone. Join and listen in and participate. We also do a weekly verbal call, it really helps when you listen to other peoples stories and how they struggling. None of us are profes…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 02:56 PM
2

That's awesome, it has helped so many of us and I feel for men just starting out on this very difficult journey ..
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 02:54 PM
2

Yes you really do have to. It takes on average about 2 years to heal from personal experience, but everyone's time line is different.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 01:39 PM
9

Yup I am convinced most (not all) get married just so they can walk away with half a man's wealth, it's a long term game for them but a very profitable one. Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 01:34 PM
1

Never pay for this apps, once you figure out how to use the apps, you can eventually meet people for free. The apps are designed to make you think you getting likes but basically a scam to get you to subscribe, don't. Can't comment about hook up apps, just use the regular apps and be honest in your profile, for every divorced man, there is a divorced women and vice versa .. I met someone on Bumble and we have been together ever since, no commitment, no emotions, just dating like regular folks, w…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/21 04:48 AM
2

Honesty is key. Personally knowing what i know now, I would say it is a deal breaker. I was broken when I started dating. I tried to convince myself I was not but I was. Anyway I started dating someone, I didn't tell them I was separated in my profile. Turns out the girl I started dating was also in separated status, but I only found out later after we both asked. In hindsight I should have waited 1-2 years before dating. Divorce is hard on any relationship especially if you not ready or pretend…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/21 04:10 PM
1

Yup, she took the house and the remaining mortgage which was about $112K. I was mixed walking away with a bunch of cash vs having to pay her, I think this still was the better decision, but I will never know how the courts would have decided if we went to court and I would still be stuck in the house fighting for it.
/r/MensRights29/07/21 01:34 PM
1

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/25/divorce-women-research
/r/MensRights23/07/21 03:55 AM
3

I am not paying child support or alimony, but I did give her the house, I feel i am in a much better position with enough cash to do a lot. However this is not the case for everyone, my kids are all grown up, so my only expenses are for myself and my dog.
/r/MensRights23/07/21 03:54 AM
3

I love that, getting a 25%, it sure feels like that is the case for me, I have a lot of disposable income even though my house expenses have gone up. No one racking up my CC spending out of control.
/r/MensRights23/07/21 03:53 AM
3

lol go get a lawyer, you will get 50/50 of all assets. Inheritance is likely hers if she didn't co-mingle the money, you should get alimony as well. Tell her she is funny from all us divorced men .. lmao
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/21 05:09 AM
1

I think it is, she actually said she wanted to get married, I told her I never want to get married again and explained why. She then told me she wants to live together, so I told her maybe one day if the conditions are right. It is definitely a strange feeling to not be living together at my age, but it is really not something i want. I told her i don't want to lead her on and if she wants to get married, she needs to find someone who wants that. We actually both still separated and I honestly c…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/21 07:14 PM
1

Dude definitely get divorced, you deserve better, cheaters will always cheat .. move on asap. Get your $7K back and even consider filing a police report for theft.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/21 06:11 AM
1

Yeah for sure ... never realized I was in a deadbedroom situation but should of have a long time ago, what a sucker I was but yes
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/21 06:08 AM
3

Yeah keep calm and ignore her, know she is a sub human being. She is trying to push your buttons, don't let her, i know it is very hard, it is, but you are strong and have unlimited strength and perseverance. Stay the course and hold yourself to your values. Someone said, treat her like your best friend until the papers are signed. That way everything is calm and she looks like the ass. Figure out ways to stop the triggers, like go from texting to email only etc .. my X was a text abuser and I b…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/20 07:15 PM
1

In Canada, marriage records are considered a matter of public record. The vital statistics office will provide the public with information regarding marriage records for a fee. Copies of marriage records can also be obtained by eligible persons. Determine whether or not you are eligible to order a marriage certificate ​ https://legalbeagle.com/6635433-canada-marriage-record.html
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/20 02:21 PM
1

It does surprise me people think about this stuff long after divorce, but I guess it stays with us. As you I made mistakes, I learned from them. I know what I did wrong, got lazy, got complacent, we grew apart. I was a wreck 8 months ago, today I am happy, doing well, enjoying life. I have cancer, I supported my X for 20 years and the day I need someone to look after me, she cheats, blames me, tells me it takes two to make a marriage work, sure, but she didn't try either .. but here I am, I can …
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/20 11:57 PM
2

Yeah it does, I live in a basement suite, have a new girlfriend and enjoying. Same as GrayCalf, I love not having to support her lazy ass, we all make mistakes, we learn from them, we. move on. I dream about what i had on a regular basis, I wake up and move on with my life, it does get better. ​ Mine was a low life cheater as well.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/20 11:53 PM
1

Nicely said and facts
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/20 11:48 PM
1

I would keep they info to yourself until you explore all your options. Not suggesting do one thing or another but at least you have stuff to think about, last thing you need is 18 years of child support if the kid is not yours or she tries to make you think it is. Also can't be easy tracking or enforcing across states etc ..
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/20 12:05 AM
7

Communicate via email only to keep a record and track, ignore on things that aren't important or relevant .. that's the nice thing about been divorced, you no longer need to listen to her outside of some basic things that are required, ignore the rest, just noise.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/20 09:03 PM
-2

Also does she know who you are, you last name, address etc .. if not keep that confidential so you can evaluate your options. Don't provide any details. I suspect she knows who you are but just putting that out there.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/20 09:01 PM
5

Definitely get a DNA test, don't assume the child is yours or that you obligated to support someone else's kid. If she is definitely having it, would that be on her, meaning you should be off the hook if it is her decision ? ​ Supporting a kid until they 18-21 is very very very expensive and not something you want to get into if you don't have to.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/20 08:45 PM
2

Yeah I know, I can't believe the law allows these cheaters to profit. I lost everything I worked for for the last 20 years, it just isn't right. The law needs to change and cheaters should leave with nothing and have no rights.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/20 03:26 PM
1

Are you doing it from your desktop or your phone ? Try the other .. else PM your number and I will try manually invite you to the chat.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/20 02:16 PM
1

What is the issue ?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/20 02:14 PM
1

Yeah jointly. In Canada you considered separated once you move out and live separately, might be the case in some states as well.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/20 02:13 PM
1

WA link is fine, I know we took the website down as the original owner left .. but the chat is still up, you need whatsapp though
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/20 02:12 PM
1

Exactly, should be default .. doesn't it work like that in the UK ?
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 09:43 PM
1

Yeah mine almost did something similar, I had to get out, she called the cops and video taped me screaming at her. Cops basically told me if they had to come someone was getting arrested looking at me .. total BS .. they should of arrested her for wasting their time. They side with the women, that's how it works. best to get out asap and let them rot.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 09:41 PM
2

Yup same here, she cheated and she gets the house .. that's life .. she should leave with only her shirt on her back, but is rewarded. Until we stop rewarding cheaters, it will continue. They are crooks and liars and cheaters who are profiting from the hard work of men.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 09:39 PM
3

Yup like you, now I can see all the red flags, she even threatened divorce, I should have smartened up .. she did it 10 years ago, I could have moved my house into a trust or protected some of my assets .. man I wish I knew then what I knew now. Everything was in a neon coloured glass as you said .. she is a crook, cheat and liar. I pray I never meet another like her. I am scared shitless everyone I meet will take advantage of me and try steal my assets. How do I ever full trust anyone again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 08:55 PM
2

GIve her a deadline and put it on the curb. Storage is expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/20 07:21 PM
3

The right answer is don't ever get married again, no point. Your problems don't disappear with a man either, marriage is a sham .. just enjoy whoever's company without marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/20 01:52 AM
1

Give her 2 weeks formal notice either via email or via your lawyer .. I sent my X notice via email I intended to stop paying her car insurance, her life insurance and cancel her credit card. I gave her 2 weeks to get it in order. She still refused to pay insurance on her car, I said one way or another she will be paying. My insurance said I couldn't remove the insurance without her signature. So I told her i am going to empty the bank account where the money was coming out and let it default. So…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/20 02:25 PM
4

What someone told me is put all your assets into a corporation, when you buy a house rent the house from your corporation, supposedly she can't touch it. Some guy did this and when she came after him, she couldn't as she didn't know he was renting from his corporation instead of paying the mortgage, this may be the safest bet. I lost my $400K house to my cheating X, if I ever live with someone again, i will put everything I own into a corporation.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/20 12:37 AM
2

I agree, don't fucking get married a second time, no need. Done that, been there ..
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/20 12:35 AM
1

What pics ?
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/20 11:57 PM
1

Yep sorry, chat is up, website was removed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/20 11:57 PM
1

Yup sorry the website is down and removed, chat is up
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/20 11:57 PM
2

Depends on your situation and what happened in your relationship, if you have a lawyer get his advice before redirecting your money. However you can open up a bank account anytime and she never needs to know, it's your account. For me my X is a cheater, as soon as I found out she was cheating, I cancelled the credit card and closed down all joint accounts, I couldn't care less, I was not paying for her to go off and cheat. So it depends if you have a) a lawyer b) your circumstance. But I would a…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/20 07:15 PM
3

Porn can be a healthy part of any relationship, addiction can be a problem but I would generally say porn is a by product of a deadbedroom situation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/20 07:42 PM
1

Porn can be an addiction and i am sure it is for some, but likely a by product of deadbedroom situation. I think porn can be totally healthy release in any marriage but is subjective, so will say it depends. ​ Masturbation is also a healthy part and supposedly increases your immune system.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/20 02:15 PM
1

Full custody equals more child support, don't do it .. love your kids, they are being idiots now, but hopefully will come around.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/20 11:16 PM
1

I loved my old house as I put so much TLC into it. As a friend said, a house is not a home and it is not longer a home. Home is where your family is. Buy a new house, get a fresh start .. you will be better off. I almost bought my old house, but glad I didn't and my new house is my home and i love it. Not as cool, but I live in a cooler area and city.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/20 11:14 PM
1

I use my desktop, never tried my phone. See if you can do it from your desktop first. Maybe try the website see if it does the same thing .. Else send me your name and i will try invite you via the chat maybe ?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 09:50 PM
1

Np
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 05:24 AM
1

Np
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 05:24 AM
1

I personally find reddit too depressing and don't read. For some weird reason even though all these guys list their problems, I don't find it as depressing, not sure why. Only can suggest try it, if you don't like it bounce or see if you can find something else .. most of our wives are cheaters and non reconcilable .. most have young children and dealing from only seeing kids half the time. Also you can mute the chat when you had a enough and when you bored come and and read and engage if you wa…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/19 04:49 PM
1

Everything, anything goes, it's just a bunch of us asking questions about anything, we all in different stages, you can ask questions any life, dating, divorce. Just think of it as a bunch of friends asking questions and we all int the same boat, half of us are separated, divorced, have children from all sages, our age group various from young to old, just had a 72 old join. Also unrelated questions about men stuff, what people think about stuff, what to expect on dates, you name it, no question…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/19 03:35 PM
1

Yeah this support chat compliments this sub. You need to try it to see what I mean, having more than 1 resource and been able to talk live with people is incredibly helpful. There are about 50 of us answering and helping each other.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/19 03:03 PM
1

Not sure, but the things you mentioned are part of the grieving process. Not saying this group isn't these things either but it's basically a group of us helping each other out and I have found it to be a life saver. All I can say is try it , if it is not for you, just leave or if you like it join us. If anything you going to make a lot of new friends supporting you. You can lurk or participate, there is no pressure either way.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/19 06:02 AM
1

Just click on the link and it should load up your WA app and it's basically just like a chat/text but with a group, try it you will see
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/19 06:00 AM
1

Awesome and welcome, it's an amazing group of guys ..
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/19 01:54 PM
1

Did you run the numbers ? Do you think it is an unfair deal ? Lawyers are generally the better route to go but can be very expensive, if you both can come up with agreement that makes you both feel is fair, you can mediate (cheaper or free) and draft up a separation agreement and get a joint lawyer to review and advise or get separate lawyers to make sure you not missing anything. I gave the house to my wife, I am probably getting less than maybe I should, but she agreed to take it in lieu of sp…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/19 03:59 PM
4

Wow what state is that?
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/19 09:12 PM
5

So how come you don't have 50/50 custody ? What happened .. pretty sure you can if you can sustain yourself and sounds like you live in a pretty nice area.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/19 07:27 PM
1

Also join our divorced dudes support group to help you get thru this https://divorceddudes.squarespace.com/ ​ We a bunch of guys talking about what has happened and trying to cope.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/19 06:38 PM
1

I heard "Rational Male" is a good read ... or listen. ​ Also have him join our divorced men WhatsApp support group, this has helped a lot of us talk thru stuff, get by daily .. https://divorceddudes.squarespace.com/
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/19 06:33 PM
1

You can put a legal separation agreement in place if you both agreeable, get a join lawyer to file it. Then use that for the divorce. The only way generally is to to court to change it or to agree to change it together, this helps you refer to it a legal contract. Anything can be overturned in court but this would be a starting point. Many times I had to refer back to the separation agreement when my STBX got greedy, she went back to our lawyer and questioned it, it has helped in my favour a few…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/19 06:30 PM
3

​ lol that's what I was thinking as well.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/19 09:44 PM
1

From BC, I didn't leave mine even though my cheating wife tried every trick in the book to get me thrown out including sneaking behind my back to our joint lawyer and lied. Why do you think you have to leave ? File for divorce, pretty sure you can both stay until it is over. I know there are some references to one of you needing to leave, but not sure how realistic that is. Try mediate and agree on stuff, then try file jointly if you remain on talking terms, else you both going to have lawyer up…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/19 09:37 PM
1

Totally sucks, cheaters are scum .. it's going to hurt like hell for a long time .. I am still trying to recover, I found out in Apr, filed and should almost be done ... still not coping ... it's hard ...
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/19 09:32 PM
1

My cousin who is much older than me, 75, said he has seen people, friends and they all poor and in bad shape after divorce, now they all likely much richer than I am and their wives took them to the cleaners. Had my wife had better funding, she could have taken me to the cleaners as well, she didn't have a lot of money to fight it in court, but I guess she did have $10K and probably could have done some damage but not long. Where I live, they don't go easy on guys with spousal support, that was …
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/19 09:28 PM
1

Enterprise Architect .. only 47 .. I figure I have time to make the pension grow, plus I just bought a house although don't expect to pay off the mortgage, so we will see. I am renting out the top floor to my daughter, so that will help pay it off a little faster I hope.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/19 09:17 PM
1

Join our chat, we a bunch of divorced or getting divorced dudes giving each other support .. https://divorceddudes.squarespace.com/ There is a whatsapp chat you can and we chat about stuff .. yup it's lonely, have you tried to meet anyone else ?
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/19 09:06 PM
1

Well i could have, except I would have probably gotten screwed on spousal support I couldn't risk it. I might have lost, I might have won, I will never know. Also remember half of the $600K is hers, so I am giving her my $300K. I did think about it a lot. My pension is worth close to $600K as well and ripping it to pieces would of just wasted money, so she wouldn't of been able to shelter the taxes for it, so a lot would of gone back to the government. we have been married for 19 years, so spous…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/19 07:59 PM
1

Try get her to get a job after you tell her. I gave my wife the house in lieu of alimony as she is a low earner, she could buy a new place with the equity and put some away, pay off the car. She is walking away with $600K, enough to hopefully keep her comfortable for a while or until she meets someone. She doesn't deserve any of it as she cheated, but the law says otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/19 07:11 PM
1

Worked for me, nice, thanks for setting this up.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/19 12:50 AM
1

That would cause me so much trauma if my wife did that, so far she has refrained as she probably knows I will go bat shit crazy .. also more importantly and my saviour my daughter lives at home and the main reason she isn't bringing her skanks home.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/19 09:20 PM
3

It was just your turn lol - wow I definitely didn't read the fine print or see that one coming.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/19 07:39 PM
2

My wife only became hostile towards me when she started cheating as she had someone else or a way to let out .. before it was just we didn't want to be with each other .. anyway same, broke my heart into a million pieces even though I refused to believe it would happen.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/19 04:39 PM
1

Thanks for that buddy. It's great advice from you and others on this thread and as you said she could say it about me and how would I ever prove I was the one not cheating on her, I couldn't. That been said, I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I have told everyone I could especially my neighbours who know her. I have cancer as well on top of that, 2nd time dealing with cancer, so I am/was in pretty bad shape. She could care less what happens to me. She continues to cheat while we still married and…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/19 01:46 PM
1

Thank you very much
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/19 02:32 AM
1

Too late, bought the house. You right my mind is mush. What I do know, I need to move from this toxic env with my wife, seeing her each day is killing me. What I do know is I need a new house other than this one You are 100% right, not disagreeing with you, but the wheels are already in motion and I am not turning back. Ironically my cousin literally implied everything you said and doesn't think I am thinking rationally. What I do know is I need a place to start again, the rest is just a blur an…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 10:49 PM
1

You are right .. but I am the money guy .. She is living under the top roof, I am under the bottom roof, so technically ... :) You are right, it;'s not her job, but I intend rely on her as little as possible, go for long walks, meet people, hit the gym, keep busy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 09:50 PM
0

Thanks man. Ex doesn't know my daughter is moving in, as far as she knows, I am just moving to the city and will have my own place. Also I am going to be super careful not to disclose my address or even advertise that fact, going to try keep it secret for as long as possible. My basement suite will be around 850sf, so I am excited to make it my own and ex will likely find out via my youngest daughter, but all they going to think is I am renting a basement suite and not that I own a house with a …
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 08:06 PM
1

Well that's why I need her for support. I agree, I do risk our relationship, I am not disagreeing with you. When I was there last time, I asked her seriously if this could work and the last thing I wanted was to risk our relationship and her mum would love it if we fell apart since she won't speak to her .. I think we give each other space and I respect the landlord tenancy agreement it can work. Again you right and I should listen, but I also don't want to be alone and can't see myself trusting…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 08:01 PM
1

Why dude .. what so against it. She helps me pay the mortgage, she takes care of the place when I am away, I can fully trust her. She gets a nice home and garden. I can spend time with one of my kids, it's a win win I think ... nice area, nice house although small but manageable. Only downside is I have to live in a basement suite when I am used to a large spacious house, but I can adapt .. worst case I evict my kid lol .. And again two different suites, she works a lot, so I won't see her much …
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 06:36 PM
1

lol well said .. actually travelled a fair bit and don't really care for it to be honest .. don't mind it but not really a traveller or I just feel I have travelled as much as I care to. Love the plantation comment .. Buying a smaller house on a bigger island, going to share it with my daughter who is super excited .. I become . a landlord and eventually hopefully some airbnb stuff and eventually my investment will pay off making me a ton of money .. we can always dream .. maybe eventually buy a…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 06:34 PM
1

Well that's kind of the problem, but I sent my deposit to the realtor this morning, I think that's the best move, start fresh, too many memories here and I would be stuck here for ages if I stayed ..
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 06:32 PM
1

Cheer Cheer! ... Well said ..
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 06:30 PM
3

What would we do without our best friends, don't think I could get thru this without my companion, she is a life saver ..
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 06:28 PM
1

Yes and yes to the first question, she is not on the title or mortgage and I had to get preapproved. I would either rent it out or more likely turn it into a airbnb, that's the idea, I don't actually expect her to stick around longer than 5 years which will get me into a position where I could do either. ​ She has begun her own life, I am injecting mine into hers, but her idea not mine. She doesn't want me to live alone isolated and can't check on me and if I fell, no one would know. ​ Yeah that…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 04:19 AM
1

Different suite, they will live upstairs and I will live in the basement suite, no access via the house as we will block it off and lock the door. She is going to help me pay the mortgage so I need her for that and support but have separate residences .. not different than a tenant upstairs type thing ..
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 04:15 AM
1

Yeah true, but someone said, it would be unfortunate if you ever wanted to but couldn't, It was part of your life, memories who made. Not planning on looking at them, but I enjoyed being married, I loved her and I loved my time with her. Doesn't mean I should forget the good times. I will just pack them away, if I ever wanted to look I could, else I will just keep them in a bag and never look at them and I would never be tempted to. I have had photos from my past ex girlfriend and in the last 20…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 01:38 AM
1

Nicely said .. thank you .. that travel idea sounds good as well .. I like the idea of having a place that I can manage easier than a larger place which costs more to fix, costs more to heat and I rather save money on a long term house. Also buying in the city so I can only see the value of the house going up over time .. thanks again
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 01:35 AM
1

You sound like my cousin, he thinks I am doing it for my daughter and perhaps I am but I am also doing it for my own selfish reasons. But I am planning on buying a house with two separate suites and renting the top floor to my daughter and her b/f and they going to help me pay the mortgage, they currently paying rent to someone else so why not give it to me and it will help me catch up on my very now expensive mortgage a little quicker. 20 years ago when my bought this house it was only $300K, n…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 01:33 AM
2

Good advice .. thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 12:40 AM
1

Thank you, I agree, planning on take only a few things, just stuff in my room, my bed, couch, some tables, all tied to me and not her specifically and very little from the main house that will remind me. I will be taking photos but plan never to look at them, just want to have them since it was part of my life at one point.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/19 12:40 AM
1

Thank you thats what I think as well.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/19 11:25 PM
1

lol I am staying in the country :) I want this home where my daughter is, then I would be happy, but I can't have both. I either stay here or move 1.5 hours away to live near my daughter in a small house. I could eventually make it mine and is exciting to be able create a new space, but at the same time I put a lot of love here and sad to see it go, not a easy decision either way.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/19 10:33 PM
1

Thank you for that, that's what I am thinking as well, I love my home and think i could eventually enjoy it and forget, but I am not sure if it would eventually get to me. I guess I could always eventually sell when the market recovers say in 5 years or I can just do a fresh start now and jump in the deep end and begin that recovery now with a new house with my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/19 10:31 PM
2

Sorry 6000 sqft lot .. the house I am looking at with my daughter is actually tiny, it's a bungalow .. the top floor is 932 sf and the basement where I will be staying is 832sf .. so relatively small ​ Our current house is about 2700 sf so about 1/3 bigger house wise and property wise.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/19 09:17 PM
0

I know, I thought i Was going to grow old with my cheating wife before she started screwing people from a sex app, we totally could of fixed out issues, I was blind and have a lot of regrets, I lost my life partner and best friend before realizing it ..
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/19 08:54 PM
2

Wow I can't even imagine that, that would create so much trauma for me if I even had to see someone .. I would forever see that persons face.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 05:40 PM
1

Yup, I don't have to mention her work or STD's, just they fact is sleeps around and has no integrity but as people said, bad idea which makes sense .. I am sure as soon as I move things will improve ..
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 04:51 PM
1

Thank you for your input, good advice again.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 03:38 PM
1

ok good advice and makes sense thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 03:37 PM
1

Yup .. and in the men divorce forum ..
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 06:19 AM
1

We still married, still living at home, we filed for divorce .. I can;'t really leave, but have an exit date. ​ Not looking to tell lies, I want people who google her to know she cheated and is randomly have sex with strangers while I am at home. I have tried to ignore it as best I can, but tonight got the better of me and I lost it .. I now have to find a new home, I have lost all my savings just scraping together for a new home, yes I am bitter and angry. She just laughed at me when I called h…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 06:18 AM
1

Good advice .. your first paragraph was too deep for me, sorry .. pretty emotional now .. I lost it and was throwing stuff around the house. I heard her phone beeping with texts non stop so lost it .. I regretted it, but I can't take it back.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 06:14 AM
0

Right, yeah I told everyone I could, all my friends some of my neighbours anyone that will l listen. I want people to know she is a cheater. But you right, I am getting evicted and I am angry. ​ But I am thinking more if someone googled her name, you know how recruiters google people to see what dirt they can find on people ..
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 06:12 AM
0

lol ... blog what a cheating whore she is on a blog somewhere, so if someone googled her name, they would know her character flaws.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 06:10 AM
1

No that's not what I meant, I could do that, but I won't. I meant if somebody googled her name, I want to write about what she did to me and the fact she has no integrity .. I want people who google her to know her character basically ..
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 06:10 AM
2

Your kids are now your life, you need to be there for them. I wouldn't do it, your 2-3 years might turn into 10 ... your boys need you more then ever I would say. I could never do it, but I am also not in your situation. I am actually moving in with my oldest daughter who is 19. I have cancer and she will be able to check in me to make sure I am ok, I am going to get a basement suite. I rather be near her and have some family than none. It's a bit of risk, but at least now I can focus on looking…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 12:51 AM
1

Good move, always stay in control of your finances .. I would never let a women control my bank account. I used to share my main bank account when we got married, then she went to a free lawyer and the lawyer told her to clean out my account, I found hidden papers of my bank statements under the mattress, that was the last time she got anywhere near my primary accounts. I created a small joint account with less than $500 for certain expenses which she complained bitterly about .. anyway it's all…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 12:46 AM
1

No her specific bills, I was paying her car insurance and life insurance, I made her take it over, I closed joint accounts and cancelled her credit card, anything to stop the money bleeding, but you have to be careful in case lawyers are involved, I was angry .. I even deleted her netflix profile lol .. if you guys share stuff, don't cancel that or anything you still need etc.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 10:09 PM
2

I got 2 free consolations but we opted not to use a divorce lawyer. if you have have someone that can recommend one even better. We used a family lawyer instead who did our wills but only because we agreed what was fair or as fair as can be. ​ We used a contract lawyer which is a general lawyer, because we agreed on most stuff, my wife wrote up the separation agreement, all he needed to do was execute. The papers have not landed on the judges desk yet, but hopefully within 6 weeks so we will see…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 10:07 PM
3

Well done .. definite win .. congrats.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 08:22 PM
2

It's cheaper to do it without lawyers if you can agree. For me I gave the house to my wife in lieu of spousal support, so she is walking away with $600K once she sells, I keep my high salary and all my pension, we both keep our cars. ​ Do research and tell her what you know and maybe she will be more agreeable and then try settle using a mediator .. but if she is trying to screw you over, you will need a lawyer .. but do you homework and research. Also get some free consultations from lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 08:18 PM
2

Some places have free legal advice or get paid when you do .. look for some free legal aid centres, dependant on salary etc.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 08:16 PM
1

Don't move out ​ Get a lawyer ​ 50/50 of everything since you were living together + spousal support ​ Also stop paying for stuff that is hers, cancel anything and start saving money
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 08:13 PM
1

Destroy it so you don't have it .. does she know about it, does she know you have it ? I know, no one expects divorce and it hits us straight in the face .. if she doesn't have proof, can you get your parents to rewrite the letter, idk .. don't want you to do anything shady, just thinking out loud .. maybe just get rid of the letter and get your parents to tell you it was a gift to you else just assume you will need to do 50/50 unfortunately .
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 04:45 AM
1

Pretty sure I have seen other females post here, so likely you are welcome here.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 03:17 AM
1

Sounds like it was a gift to both of you as you were both named, so pretty sure 50/50, but you can speak to a lawyer to know for sure. Would have been better if only you were named. ​ Does she have a copy of the letter ?
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/19 09:03 PM
1

I like the bonus tip, so true and the unfollowing the sub, I just have no life can't help but when I move I will probably do the same and try move on.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/19 02:09 AM
1

Fair point .. if she is getting in law, you may not have to pay the full 7 years if she earns a decent salary. For me I need something to keep me busy and home projects is exactly that, I just didn't want to renovate an entire house. I also bought a house that is manageable by me, about half the size of our current house, some houses are scary big, at least this one I can paint, patch the roof etc and a bunch of garden projects. Also not a big strata guy, I like owning my property and nobody tel…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 08:59 PM
2

Yeah totally and unbelievable and it is still an attack against men with dated laws. I will never marry again because of it
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 08:55 PM
1

Yeah I am not getting the better deal for sure, but I can walk away now from this toxic environment and more importantly her. She has to sell the house, she has to get it ready, I am not paying a cent towards any maintenance, I reduced my mortgage payments on the house to the minimum, still high around $1K vs $1.4K a month, so saves me around $400 until I can move. Totally would have done 50/50 it if the law was fair and I wasn't on the hook for spousal support. Spousal support would have killed…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 03:43 PM
1

I cancelled my wife's credit card, the moment, she cheated on me .. I couldn't care less, shutdown joint accounts, limited access to any of my funds. Was paying for her groceries and life insurance for while, but I stopped that as well, fuck her. Limit your exposure asap.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 03:37 PM
4

Yup this .. life sucks, the law sucks, and we get fucked in the process literally .. how unfair is that. My wife cheats weekly and is walking away with the house .. life's a bitch .. ​ Until they stop rewarding spouses, this will always be a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 03:35 PM
1

I did the same, gave my wife the house in lieu of spousal support. When she sells she gets $600-$700K, she doesn't get any spousal ... but walks away with all the equity .. so it is kind dump, but the law is unfair, so for it makes sense, I am the higher earner, I can afford to go buy another place and start over. ​ How much is your mortgage, how much equity do you have in the house, you might want to strike a deal if you giving her the house and there is a lot of equity.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 03:17 PM
1

Pretty much this, wife refused to own any part of the failure still doesn't. I apologized many times and told her all my regrets, I know they too late, but I owned them. Not once did she say sorry to own any of hers. She is literally sleeping with a new guy every weekend now, don't understand it, never will. ​ One day she will realize her mistakes hopefully and be honest with the next person, but unlikely .. I feel so sorry for the next guy who won't know what she has been doing and incapable of…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/19 05:56 AM
4

Sounds like a very abusive relationship, you continue like this, you need to stand up to her. I would never let a women control my finances, never. You need to be in control. You must have a joint account you both agree to put money in, might be too late for that. Keep credit cards and your personal savings separate. She is abusive, no two ways about it. ​ Either seek counselling or get a divorce, don't stay for the sake of the kids, you can't continue like this. Maybe have an open conversation …
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/19 05:03 PM
1

If you think you can mediate, you should, why pay lawyers money but mediation isn't for everyone. If you think she will screw you over, you may need a lawyer. You can always get a lawyer if mediation fails, so it is not harm in trying to mediate first and just be open to getting a lawyer to protect your interests later. You will save a lot if you both can agree on stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 09:44 PM
1

Thank you, I appreciate the input ... I really hope so, feeling so depressed, nervous buying a new house with a huge mortgage is daunting, but I must remain hopeful it will work out for the best ..
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 09:42 PM
2

Same here, we get too complacent, we ignore all the signs unintentionally .. and they build up so much resentment to the point it is too late. Vows don't mean anything, neither are they tolerant .. its sad .. ​ You have been married 25 years ? ​ It's also possible she met someone else as well which allows her to leave without any remorse ..
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 09:39 PM
1

Sure but is still cheating as we still married. I don't think because it is out in the open it's no longer called cheating, idk I guess that is subjective but I see where you going with it. She hates being called a cheater, so pretty much still going to say it because it is what is and I am still in a lot of pain. I need to get out asap, this weekend, I am house hunting, hoping to find something for me and my daughter and her b/f so she can help me move on, it's still incredibly difficult and I …
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 08:56 PM
1

The laws around divorce are terrible and crucifying, I can't even comprehend how unfair this is .. most women seem to get divorced for the money, maybe that has always been the case. I am ok if it were a fair 50/50 split and that 50 is taken in account for how she can live, but it is not, it's sucks and hurts .. I will never marry again as I never want to divide my assets ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 02:50 PM
1

Right, that's fair. I am lucky my kids are all grown up 18 & 19, so I can still have a relationship with the kids without her. If the kids are younger, that would be a issue.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 02:45 PM
1

Still sounded like you short changed yourself, why ? How much damage could you have possibly done ? ​ My wife tried the same, she said I had to pay for any damage to the room I am living in, told her I won't and refused and told her to get a lawyer, I knew she wouldn't, so she signed eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 02:32 PM
2

This is terrible, how unfair is that .. the laws are the worst, it's the same here. I ended up giving my wife the house so she wouldn't ask for support, she is greedy so she took it and didn't want to waste money in court .. but I could of also been on the hook until I retire .. if not life .. who knows now days, it's supposed to be more fair, but I am not sure
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 02:30 PM
1

Yup same here, pretty sure she is having an affair, that's the only way they justify it isn't affecting them. They still in cloud 9. This is actually the best case, they more agreeable when they having fun with someone .. eventually they will realize their mistakes, idk, I can only hope.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 02:28 PM
3

Exactly, separation is meant for you both to reflect, not go out and have affairs. My wife thinks it is not cheating because we separated, but it still is. Maybe a legal or signed separation makes this less so, I don't know. Cheaters are scum
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 02:26 PM
1

If you live in a different house maybe some, I live with my wife still and she continues to cheat and it is painful as heck to watch her go out. ​ I don't think living in the same house lessens the pain
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 02:24 PM
3

Why temporary .. why is it biased against men ?
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 09:57 PM
1

It so easy for women to get screwed by guys on these sex sites .. much hard for us older guys if ever. My wife is screwing guys half her age and enjoying it .. she claimed I never respected her and just wanted her for sex, and here is putting herself at risk and doesn't even bay a eye, in parking lots, in the woods, back of cars etc .. ​ Sad times. She wanted to keep her on medical care after we divorced which is hilarious .. ​ Guys just want to screw, doesn't matter who .. slowly killing me unt…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 08:46 PM
1

Yeah that's rough, I have 19 years same deal, you have to wonder if money is the motivator, she walks away with our $600K house, pretty sweet deal, I keep my pension and get to start over. Luckily I don't have to pay spousal support so far since i gave her the house ... the law here is unfair .... I guess 19 is better than 30 .. worse if you about to retire and can't work to make it up, I will never pay off the house, but all I can do is try for the next 18 years .. my daughter will help with th…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 08:28 PM
1

Same here, the law is BS, I gave my wife our house so she walks away with $600K without paying a single bill or contributing in her life, absolute scum cheating wife, but what can I do. I didn't want to pay alimony so that was my alternative. I am the higher earner, I have cancer, but I keep my pension .. planning to buy a new house and move closer to my daughter to help me get thru this. ​ Try find something she wants so she doesn't clean you out, limit her funds, don't give her money, I am ble…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 08:21 PM
2

My wife continues to go and screw internet strangers in front of me, hasn't slowed her down while we divorcing .. I hope she is a wreck emotionally .. but I recommend getting your head right first, people say around 2 years, not sure I can wait that long, but we will see. Learn to live alone, learn to love yourself etc .. that sounds like a lonely time to me, so idk .. I would probably wait a while at least ..
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/19 08:13 PM
1

My kids knew my wife was cheating before me, who puts that kind of burden on her children. My oldest refuses to talk to her as she is an abusive mother without any guilt. It's not her, you just getting blamed because it is convenient for her. Just as I got blamed for her cheating, but I know I am not the cause. I feel good she has been used and she will need to live with what she did for the rest of her life, having sex in the woods, parking lots, back of cars, disgusting. Oh well all to our own…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/19 06:38 PM
2

That's fair. She is trying to sell asap but housing market is dead, so not sure when she will actually sell, could be a month from now, could be a year who knows. I doubt she will try sue me 10 years later, but it could happen, but I think it is unlikely, it's the risk I am willing to take. We have a formalized separation agreement by a lawyer and it basically says we all in sound mind and agree to it, but of course anything can be taken to court. I am pretty sure she wants to move with her life…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/19 03:13 PM
1

Possibly but she could of demanded my T4 but she didn't and in the separation agreement, she agreed to take the house in lieu of any spousal support and also listed in the agreement we keep our own RRSP etc .. she could of requested a full financial disclosure but she didn't ... although she did ask for my t4 I ignored the request via a email not via our lawyer. ​ She knows she is getting a better deal, but yeah if she wanted to waste money on lawyers once she sold the house she could screw with…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/19 02:28 AM
1

Yeah you got lucky I think, you probably young, find a decent girl who you can trust, consider yourself very lucky no kids involved, very very lucky.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/19 07:20 PM
6

Sounds like you escaped a bullet, how long were you married for ? ​ It's tough when you get into health issues like that and lying and then parents supporting them which is natural .. I think . my cheating wife might have some mental issues, time will tell, 19 years down the drain, half my estate gone .. it's sad ..
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/19 07:25 AM
1

Same here at least I think if I went to court I would get royally screwed. So I decided to give my house our $750K house in lieu of alimony. When she sells it she will walk away with at least $600K, she gets all the cash benefits and all my pension us untaxed, so I walk away with no cash. She is the same, I earn about 6 times what she earns (she doesn't know how much I earn and I never told her as it would make things worse, but she calculated on an old payslip I earn 4 times). Anyway she knows …
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/19 04:05 PM
1

Good question, I am planning to buy even though everyone says rent. I want a place of my own, I can afford it barely, but it will be mine. Planning on moving in with my daughter in a split home, she will help me with the mortgage and keep me company. ​ Rent probably makes more sense, if I lose my job etc .. but I need to stay positive, maybe I will able to break even by the time i retire. Giving wife the house, so I will have no equity or cash flow, but I will make it work. Might do a rent to ow…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/19 10:18 PM
6

Yup, married 19 years, paid all the bills, mortgage you name it, has been bumpy but we always made up .. started cheating on me, now walking away with our $750K house as part of the settlement .. it's unfortunate but sounds like she has made up her mind and is moving on .. same with my wife, she pretends it is not affecting her and maybe it is not, but I am sure one day she will realize it was a mistake .. anyway it's much easier for a women to move on at our age than a man I would think .. it s…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/19 08:40 PM
1

That's the thing, he hasn't healed or had time to heal or get . his emotions in check. As a separated person . myself, I am not ready, If you ok to help him thru this dark time and be patient it might work, but there will be a lot of mixed feelings, up's and downs .. It will be hard on you ... but maybe at the end, you guys will be good for each other. ​ I tried a couple of dated, but it showed me I was not even close to been ready, I was just trying to replace what I had lost.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/19 03:15 AM
1

Yeah that's not what I meant, shut her business down so she stops wasting money.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 07:29 PM
3

Or do a 50/50 split and force her to sell her crappy business ..
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 05:25 AM
6

Sounds like she is a nutter, what does she really mean by that ? Is she really spiritual ? ​ Why isn't she sharing the bills if she works, how bigger difference are your salaries ? ​ My wife worked by is a low income, so paid all the bills .. now she gets the house and she paid squat in all our 19 years of marriage ... ​ If she earns the same as you are close, she would be sharing the load ..
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 05:23 AM
6

Yup sure is .. as someone said, be happy with what you have and not what you have lost. lol
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/19 12:03 AM
3

Not true, if you can resolve it before getting to lawyers, it would go a lot easier. I think it did in my case, we have hardly spent any money on lawyers. ​ Lawyers may or may not be worth their weight in gold, I don't know. All I know is I gave my wife the house, I keep pension and high paying job, I get to start again and not pay spousal support, it sometimes pays off to work with each other .. spousal support can be devastating and very unfair to the higher earner .. and just because my wife …
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 11:54 PM
3

Remind me again why we get married ?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 11:51 PM
4

I gave my wife the house so she wouldn't hit me with spousal support the house is worth $750,000 and we owe $100K on the mortgage so she walks away with around $600K when she sells. I keep my pension and salary which is roughly worth the same amount except it is untaxed money, but over time should be worth more or the same, at least that is the hope. ​ So if you giving her the house, tell her to drop how much spousal she wants and get the house appraised so you have a number to work with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 11:49 PM
2

Best to try talk to her, I am sure you will be fighting, that's how we did it we screamed at each for a while, then we eventually agreed on mediation, but if she wants your money and has money for a lawyer then she will go after as much as she can. My wife didn't have a lot of money and I gave her the house which is in her best interest, she jumped at the chance, but also started to get greedy .. I have scaled her back, but took a long time over a month easy if not two to convince her not be gre…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/19 09:44 PM
1

Yeah definitely no sex, child support is a killer, get out now .. do a non contest divorce if you can via mediator .. you lucky it's still early .. sounds like you guys are not happy ..
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/19 02:27 AM
6

Your biggest problem by the sounds of it is going to be spousal support since your wife has never worked .. I just gave my wife the house in lieu of spousal support, still going thru separation, but she is so far mostly happy with what she is getting, I get to start over from scratch with basically the shirt on my back and and i get to keep my pension which is around $500K .. so I don't think I am not too bad off ..I am M47 .. I will try buy a house, but know I will never pay it off by the time …
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/19 02:12 AM
2

Yeah exactly, don't really have any regrets, got to see my kids grow up, they had a relatively normal child hood, I didn't have to pay child support .. I see so many marriages fail and the kids are young .. maybe the timing is right .. I am still in love with her in a weird kind of way, but know I have to move on, planning on moving in with my daughter, at least share a house, and get out of this toxic environment .. things will get better once I get out of here and never have to see her again .…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/19 03:19 AM
2

Yeah in the old days they used to stone them to death, now days they give them a house for cheating .. go figure .. ​ I agreed to also give her $26K of my pension, she asked and I thought it would be easier to agree, yesterday I decided fuck it and told her no .. she freaked out but today is a little calmer and has accepted it .. she doesn't deserve any of my pension cheating whore and tries to guilt me in that she is getting screwed, but yeah didn't contribute to any bills, no mortgage payments…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/19 03:03 AM
1

Try talk to her or mediation and propose each one take a house, I would wait if they similar sized houses. She is going to want the more expensive one.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/19 02:54 AM
2

Good point I guess. What I did was send her formal notice I was cancelling the credit card, her car insurance and life insurance at the end of the month via a email because she refused to take on her car insurance. You definitely don't want her to be able to spend your money, you can sell it as you had to secure your accounts. I told her I would continue to pay for her groceries but she had to submit a receipt to me for review to make sure she wasn't spending on other people, I refused to pay fo…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/19 02:51 AM
4

Mine did the same, as soon as I found out, I cancelled her credit card and closed down the joint account. We live on an island, so I stopped paying her car insurance and her ferry fares. No way am I paying for her to go screw guys. ​ I didn't want her to be in a position where she was squirreling cash away without me knowing and was paying for it, she could of been doing this for years for all I know. ​ It hurts, it's unfortunate .. on top of that she is screwing random strangers half her age an…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/19 01:26 PM
1

Nice, glad I have tried to venture out yet .. or break any vows, I am kind of relieved in a way. Thanks for the reply.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/19 02:37 AM
2

Other women didn't help, just a little ? Mine did the same and been wondering if finding someone would help fill that void ..
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 11:52 AM
1

My wife of 19 years of marriage thrown away just like that, I can't sleep, I am an emotional wreck .. completely devastated ..
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 11:46 AM
2

So do I, we need love too you know .. don't think you can't find love .. where you at, let's get together :) .. kidding of course .. but in all seriousness .. there will be someone else out there looking to meet up and me empathetic to your cancer. Hopefully someone understanding. Maybe even at a cancer support group ..
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 11:44 AM
1

Nah don't think like that, if you still married, you entitled to half . he may have a house now, you can force him to sell, definitely check it out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 11:42 AM
1

Make sure you take him to the cleaners for spousal support. Hopefully you can.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 11:41 AM
1

Same here. M47. My wife started cheating on me, sleeping with random guys off a sex app. I got cancer about 4 years ago, I think this is where it really started. She didn't want to have to deal with it or me and basically threw me out like trash. ​ Luckily my girls are grown up 18 and 19 .. I don't understand how a person could be so cruel and inhuman .. I am devastated, can't sleep, super stressed out. She is then taking the house as part of the settlement and I get to keep my pension .. life s…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 11:37 AM
0

Call the cops if he shows up saying he is tresspassing. Tell your ex if he comes you calling the cops and are going to make things very awkward. ​ Walk around naked until he leaves
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 11:32 AM
1

Yeah, thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/19 08:38 PM
1

Good points and that's exactly what happened to me. Funny thing she says she still wants to be friends and I am thinking FU, no way do you get to be my friend after what you did. My daughter is disgusted with her sleezy behaviour and other stuff in general and I plan to go live with my daughter, so if I get it my way she will lose both of us .. I didn't want to come in between them, but after this dispicable behaviour I don't care. yeah blamed plenty, but you right, it's two sides and she claims…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/19 08:27 PM
1

I hope you right about meeting someone, I honestly don't want anyone else, but I hope that will change and I meet someone eventually. If she told me hey, if you don't get your shit together I am going to start screwing people, maybe they would be a wake up call for me .. but not knowing what I know now, I probably wouldn't of taken her seriously ..
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/19 08:06 PM
1

Yeah same here, 19 years of marriage, thought i was mostly happily married and would be spending the rest of my life with my spouse. Found out she downloaded a sex app and starting sleeping with random strangers half her age F42. Always accused me of wanting sex and not respecting her and here she does this, none of these guys respect her and she can't stop herself from being used by younger men. ​ She wants divorce and we have been working thru, I am at the stage where I know I need to move, it…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/19 10:02 PM
1

lol thanks . .yeah I just don't I can do it .. I think I will do the later .. unfortunately condoms don't protect you from everything, you can get some weird skin sex disease as well as some rare ones via the condom as it doesn't always stay etc ..
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/19 03:02 PM
1

19 years of marriage, I am M48, my wife F42 downloaded a sex app then started screwing 20-30 year olds, now wants a divorce, taking the house. We have two beautiful daughters so not all too bad. I am devastated and lonely .. only had sex every 6 months if I was lucky ... it sucks, try stay strong .. ​ What were you risky sex choices if I may ask. I was considering maybe downloading a sex app, but don't want to catch anything .. am I stupid even thinking like this. Not sure anyone would want to s…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/19 06:42 AM
1

If he is just doing stuff on his computer, don't worry too much about it, but talk to him We all look at porn, we all fantasize, just what men do .. maybe consider doing some BDSM with him .. see what he is in to .. if he is disappearing and not home, that's another story, but if he is there, I would say it is still fine. ​ Do you still love him, does he still love you, don't read into this too much unless there are other signs . work with him if you both love each other and give him some space …
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/19 06:33 AM
1

My wife of 19 years of marriage, we have had our ups and downs, didn't know they were that bad either. She started sleeping with 20-30 years using a sex app on her phone, she is F42. Totally out of character, she wants a divorce, she is taking my house as part of the settlement ... life sucks, definitely had dark thoughts .. not sure I will ever meet anyone again at my age, but that is life .. In your case she probably met someone, that doesn't sound like a lot of time and as you said she never …
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/19 06:30 AM
2

I dunno man, I think that is a mistake, spousal support here is a killer .. I will just waste a lot of money on lawyer fees, I just want to move on with my life ..
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/19 10:50 PM
1

Yeah my youngest turns 18 and graduates in June, then is planning to take a gap year and move out, so I think I am ok,. I am still on the hook if the judge deems fit, so much can still go wrong, but I am hopeful.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/19 03:32 PM
1

lol thanks, I will. Not sure it is more me, but I will take another look.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/19 03:31 PM
1

Alright thanks, we have something similar in Canada, we call them RRSP's which is like a defined contribution, I don't have too much around $400K at the moment, but i am still young so will continue contributing with the hope it will give more depending on market. We do have a government one, but it is easily I think, not relying on it, but I think it gives something like $1-$1.5k a month, not a lot but compliments my other .. maybe that is like the benefit one .. My thinking was if she took eit…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/19 03:29 PM
1

Fuck you right .. unbelievable ..
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/19 01:38 AM
1

Yeah I sure have had dark thoughts much worse than that .. I would lose my citizenship and my kids .. not worth it but i have thought about it ..
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/19 01:38 AM
1

Whats the difference .. I have various ones, I am in Canada .. why a no brainer ?
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/19 01:37 AM
2

She is letting me off spousal support, I see this as a win .. although things could change.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/19 01:36 AM
1

Not yet, we going to be working with a mediator on the separation agreement, then we going to get a lawyer or lawyers to review it. Not quite sure how it works in terms of timing. ​ We going to put both options on the table, she still wants spousal support, but we still have to talk about what looks like. He main concern is paying the bills until the house sells. ​ I am hoping we can make a deal without dealing with lawyers too much. Yes I know this may not be the best, but I also don't want to …
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/19 08:39 PM
2

Same here, 19 years of marriage, 2 kids. My wife used a sex app and started having hookups on the internet, disgusting and despicable .. struggling to cope, but I will survive I guess for my kids ...
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/19 08:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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