Officially divorced today.

locofixer1 · 2024-01-02T07:33:13+00:00

a good book to read is the unplugged alpha male by Rich Cooper..pretty much says dont marry or co habitate..and if you did pay her the pound of flesh and dont do it again

CanadaCoy · 2022-08-09T16:32:49+00:00

Thanks brother I needed to hear this. My wife of 10 years got drunk and kissed an old friend. She told me right away but now she’s saying she doesn’t want to be content anymore. She wants to find her forever whether it’s with me or somebody else. We have 3 amazing kids and 2 dogs and I love her so much but she’s been so cruel to me since this happened. We have marriage counselling in 10 days. I’ve made some big life changes. I quit smoking pot all the time and I’m eating healthy and working out super hard. I’ve always been into fitness so it was easy for me to dive right in. I’ve reconnected with my parents and all of my old friends and even the though this situation is terrible I’ve discovered how many people have my back. I hope marriage counselling works because I did love her with all my heart. I’m going to give her the time and space she needs and who knows maybe one day we can fall back in love. If not I’ve never felt better about myself. My advice is find something that makes you happy and do it and don’t worry about the things you can’t control. That’s what I’ve learned. I love my kids and my dogs and whatever is supposed to happen will happen. Much love man!

tinkerb3lll · 2022-07-22T14:59:25+00:00

How you feeling? and congrats, life sure does get better, don't box yourself in and learn from our mistakes, life can be great, free and single.

DivorceCoachMarcin · 2022-07-22T13:39:05+00:00

Great advice.

https://coachmarcin.com/

AStirlingMacDonald · 2022-07-22T06:55:47+00:00

This is all really excellent advice and encouragement.

And if you are someone who didn’t feel like you were full and compete before her… please don’t neglect that therapy, especially before you start your next relationship, because the inverse is also true: if you’re not fulfilled and validated without someone else, you will never be because of someone else, either.

turbor · 2022-07-22T06:26:46+00:00

I’ll share truth. Divorce without kids, vs Divorce with kids? The latter is exponentially worse. Like, not twice as bad, it’s 50 times worse, with a multiplier that scales even more badly the younger the kids are. I’ve been through both.

A breakup will get better in a year. Even if you’re fighting over pets and money and it takes a judge to sort it out. It’s just not that traumatic. Feels like it at the time, but usually it will pass and you’ll be ready for a rebound within about a year.

Now a divorce with kids? Young kids? And if you lost the 50/50 fight? It doesn’t get better. Not for a long time. You’ll get to experience the realization that Sancho gets more time with your kids than you. You’ll also realize that your paying for that to happen. You get to watch the new car, recreational toys, and RV show up in her driveway while you struggle in an apartment. You get the texts notifying you that she’ll be traveling with the kids on whatever dates, while you consistently dip below $100 between pay checks.

There are things that start to dull, and better acceptance of your reality, but I still can’t say that it’s better. 4 years out.

The actual reality is that the hope of a companion has been taken from me.

It sucks.

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-07-22T04:38:19+00:00

Life is indeed better afterwards if you know what makes you happy and work on yourself. You don’t need another to be happy, you just think you do. Once over the initial hurt you find your feet and move forward….always forward and never look back.

Love-Pineapple-Pizza · 2022-07-22T00:42:45+00:00

Words i needed to hear. Got notice today as well and divorce finalized. She got half my life's savings and my dog. She barely even worked while i worked more than full time. Calls me like we're BFFs. Anyways congrats my man. To the next chapter.

upfnothing · 2022-07-21T23:55:52+00:00

Now you get to meet the next level boss: ex-wife.

nomdeprune · 2022-07-21T23:14:59+00:00

Why are so many posts on this sub lectures?

Shitpostradamus · 2022-07-21T21:53:18+00:00

The day my divorce was finalized, I went to get ice cream with my daughter and my mom to celebrate. She was dead weight and she did me a favor when she cheated.

Good speed to all you fellas still mired in shit. Much love

tyyyy110 · 2022-07-21T20:45:01+00:00

Bro 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

recce22 · 2022-07-21T19:36:03+00:00

Truth!

That’s why I have that “smirk” when the young ones think they know better. No such thing as a “perfect” marriage. (I look like that Green Beret drinking at the bar in the Deer Hunter: “Fuck It!”)

Put in the work and continue to live to the fullest!

EmCee311 · 2022-07-21T19:27:46+00:00

Good on you man, wise words. And yes, it can be beautiful on the other side, but it won’t come without the work!

ElVatoGrizz · 2022-07-21T19:26:12+00:00

That's encouraging. Thanks bud.

Front-Lion-5098 · 2022-07-21T19:20:21+00:00

Sorry man sounds like you are doing good!! Busboy 16 years younger. Unreal just unreal.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-07-21T19:00:17+00:00

> You were full and complete before her, you will be full and complete after her - if you do the work.

Amen brother!

Title	Officially divorced today.
Author	Metallicatica
Upvotes	151
Comments	43
Date	July 21, 2022 6:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/w4om4b/officially_divorced_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/officially-divorced-today.1124398 https://theredarchive.com/post/1124398

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