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Metallicatica Archive

View 5 posts and 40 comments by Metallicatica on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

I learned exactly two things in my divorce: I'm not as good as I think I am. But I'm not as bad as I think I am, either.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 03:02 PM
8

Tigers don't change their stripes.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 08:39 PM
14

You're not as good as you think you are. You're also not as bad as you think you are.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 07:55 PM
13

First time marriage was for love. Next time it's for money.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 12:23 AM
1

Paid off my motorcycle by cashing in the life insurance policy on myself that had her as the beneficiary.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 08:16 PM
5

I spent $5.5k from start to finish and she had to buy me out of the house for $75k. An absolute win for me (minus the whole broken heart thing).
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 06:45 PM
1

Story is boring. Married 7 years. We bought a foreclosure home for 175k. When she asked for the divorce it was worth 350ish. She wanted to keep it. We made comparable income and had comparable assets. No children. New York State pretty cut and dry in that regard. Made her buy me out. She thought I was gonna sign it over for $1. Nope. It was my sweat equity that made it liveable over 7 months. Could have gone for easily 125k each with the equity we had. Decided to not totally rake her over the co…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 09:09 PM
19

No one wants to hear it, but I profited. $75k US dollars. Finally a win for the good guys.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 12:43 AM
2

Screen yourself, first and foremost.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 03:56 PM
3

Not telling me the cat we had together for 11 years had died. Her mother called me two days later to tell me because she "felt it wasn't right that I wasn't told." Not saying goodbye sucked.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 10:37 PM
2

It's trite and it's overused but it still rings true : The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 11:26 PM
2

You're not alone in this sentiment - there's a lot of vitriol and bitterness in this reddit. It's hard to sift through and not get super jaded. I think you are on the right path.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 07:06 AM
11

"My emotions are still all over the place." It's too soon.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 04:40 PM
2

Sounds like the wrong church.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 03:05 AM
2

Then maybe start with the Order of Man podcast. Find a few episodes that sounds interesting to you and give it a listen. Take notes. Journal. Break out of your 40 year comfort zone.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 03:05 AM
4

Therapy. Go to 3 or 4 to get a feel and then settle on one. Your local church, if you're religious. Oddly enough, the gym, for something like a pick up men's basketball league or the like. Maybe even martial arts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 01:22 AM
0

The first step in triage of any failing marriage is to seek therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:48 PM
2

Sovereignty by Ryan Michler. Start Where You are by Pema Chodron.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/22 07:20 PM
4

Therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 10:59 PM
2

Excellent, excellent point.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 05:09 PM
3

The cost benefit analysis shouldn't be about money, it should be happiness and time. You get neither of those things back - you can always make more money.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 06:01 PM
2

This might be easier if you start a poll.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 05:58 AM
2

Occasionally I have a dream here or there or a feeling, but it's almost like the memory of someone else's life. Holding on to all that hate literally only hurts you, no one else. I'm two years out though. I second the therapy thing. And maybe a little look into the Stoic lifestyle might help control your anger and hatred.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 06:10 PM
14

She was still awarded a (relatively) small sum for damages. The message is even if the man is a victim, he's never 100% innocent. Even when we are the victim, we take some blame. It's the "raped woman in a slutty dress" mentality, just reverse. Unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 09:39 PM
3

The problem in the self-help thing, specifically for men, is that once we notice it, that's the easy part. FIXING IT, is very very hard. Therapy is a great tool. The other great tool I've found is the 12 week battle planner from Ryan Michler and the Order of Man. Those two things have been the number one and number two things to move the needle: excluding eating healthier and working out REGULARLY. Glover had a lot of great exercises to help you learn and grow, but the real takeaway for me is th…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 06:45 PM
3

My sister had an Italian restaurant for a while and blasted through 45 new employees in her first 3 months of business. All she kept saying was there was no good help. I politely pointed out there was only a single common denominator. I was also downvoted to oblivion, but it was in person. The worst thing you can tell someone is the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 01:31 PM
2

Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 05:34 PM
9

I'm kinda on the other end. I'm pushing 40 and have found women significantly younger than me have been actively crushing on me. That I can understand, to an extent, as most data reveals woman go for older men, generally speaking. That being said, sounds like your body clicked into the whole "there's a world outside my marriage" mode. The possibility of sex and intimacy, with other women, has got your brain firing on all cylinders. Is it normal? Can't say, not a doc. I personally wouldn't say it…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 04:55 PM
0

Same habits? Same results.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 07:33 PM
2

Unplug your TV. Workout. Listen to podcasts. Read books. Grow as a man, intellectually and physically. Pursue your passions.Make yourself the best man you possibly can, to be the best father you possibly can. And quit smoking.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 06:16 PM
4

Sovereignty, by Ryan Michler, and his Order of Man podcast, provided an actual framework of recovery for me. Actionable steps with measurable results to produce lasting change.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 02:51 PM
2

I like that! Lol
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/21 07:23 PM
2

Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband Sovereignty by Ryan Michler No Break Up Can Break You Don't go into paralysis by analysis, reading everything you can and implementing nothing. Pick 3 titles and follow their suggestions. More than that is gonna be just recycling similar themes.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/21 08:41 PM
2

Serious question: if she disappeared and went to the wind for weeks with your kid, would she inform you of the details?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 02:13 PM
1

So. Just left the lawyers office. Like I said. It's always gonna hurt. The long and short of it is that she's been having trouble getting the mortgage underwriter off their ass to finish the mortgage. When we were originally separating I had said lets specify a clause that if you don't get financing within a year, we just sell the house. Today has been about 8 months, but we never put that in. She said why don't we put it in starting today? I said no, it's been almost a year, let's get this done…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 04:22 PM
6

My mom and dad got divorced after 25 years of marriage. They've been apart now for 26. I can happily report all parties, mom, dad, children and grandchildren are far better off.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/21 08:21 PM
26

Been separated over a year. I just did a 12 day motorcycle trip across America, camping part of the way. Sitting at a bar this thought came unbidden "She would have loved this place." Another time, sitting at a stop light, I unconsciously reached back to grab her leg and kiss her. She obviously wasn't there. You're gonna be 100% over it for days, maybe even weeks. And then one day, it's gonna come up and smack you in the face. I call these moments "micro deaths" or "aftershocks". The body of you…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 01:57 PM
1

Sovereignty by Ryan Michler and the Order of Man movement hold these values at their core. Great message.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/21 09:09 PM
1

Order of Man really helped me find my worth, too. Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/21 01:46 PM
4

Getting off Facebook and blocking my ex and her new man on Instagram were the two best mental health decisions I made as I have gone through divorce, excluding continuing therapy after our marriage counseling fell apart.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/21 02:50 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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