Finalizing the mortgage and quit claim deed on the house tomorrow with the lawyer. No children. I'm 38, she's 34. We were married 6 years, together 11. Two cats. No kids. Bought a foreclosure home. Built it out over a year, moved in, 2 weeks later she told me she didn't love me anymore and to get out. The story is irrelevant. We've all got similar ones, some better, some worse.
Not to be "reaction formation"ing it, but her leaving me was the best thing to ever happen to me. I stand up straight, I know what I'm worth, I'm fully out of debt, I'm in the best shape of my life, my family relationships are incredible, and I am lucky enough to have a fair amount of young attractive women who are interested in me.
If you're here because it's new, I'm not gonna hit you with the same bullshit everyone else does - it gets better, time heals, blah blah blah. It doesn't. It's always gonna hurt. I'm just gonna give you the main things that have helped me, and where I think you should start as you restart. Quick and dirty, simple advice.
- GO TO THERAPY
- Exercise at least 3 days a week.
- Read books. ( I would start with Sovereignty by Ryan Michler, but any divorce recovery book geared towards men works, also)
- Quit smoking.
- No more than 7 hours of TV a week (or give it up altogether).
- Meditate.
- Get on a structured nutrition plan.
- Get off Facebook. Definitely at least block your ex if you can't cut the cord.
- Hang out with just "your boys" at least once a month - no women.
- GO TO THERAPY
I'm no expert. I'm not even over it. But I am LIGHT YEARS passed where I was, and borderline happy again (which a year ago seemed impossible). This stuff worked for me, I hope it can help you, too. At the very least, this simple list is a great place to jump off from.
Remember, you were a whole and complete man before her, and you will be after she's gone IF you put in the work.
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