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tomsnow164 Archive

View 3 posts and 114 comments by tomsnow164 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

I’ve started to talk about how we were all raised on this idea that abused women somehow couldn’t stop dating abusive men. Do you remember this from the 80s and 90s? Well I think it’s becoming pretty clear that what was happening in those situations was driving men to reactive abuse so they could claim victimhood. That’s what I see in her pattern too.
/r/MensRights06/11/24 02:48 AM
4

I remember her saying “I don’t love you” and “i hate you” and they didn’t hit very hard, but I left a couple days after she said “I don’t like you” for the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 02:29 AM
4

I’m surprised this the first time you yelled at her! Either way come to the free side you are going to love it. Exactly the same life except no one bringing you down. It’s great
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 03:07 AM
2

I remember being where you are!!! Hell I even dove into the text messages yesterday because I felt like beating myself up. Man was that life so disgusting. Let’s do the end first… I am so happy. I’m not 100% because I still got some stuff to work on but that goal seems obtainable now. Me and my kids have the best life together. Oh my god it is so awesome I can’t even describe to you. So let’s do it in terms of weight, right now all the time I’m carrying 100lbs, it’s just there I can’t do anythin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 06:40 PM
3

Don’t fight it Divorce is great, it’s time. You deserve so much better that worry if you meet her demands for doing enough.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:58 PM
1

Yep and the use every instance of you pushing back and trying to have equal work as a reason to withhold sex, which I’m not ashamed to say was a big reason I married her. Like if we would have been having the sex we were having at the end when I proposed. I would never have asked and they know exactly what they are doing and that you can’t complain.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 12:26 AM
1

Yes now that we are divorced she always refers to it as “the time she did everything on her own, while I pursued my career” I have her labeled as dead weight in my phone so I guess it offsets. The crazier part to me was how much she looked down her nose at the true SAHM and how they needed to be more independent and look after themselves. Then I was completely blindsided at the divorce hearing when her lawyer described her as this helpless stay at home mom who I was leaving with nothing after I …
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 11:41 PM
6

For me I wish I would have gotten a couple hours during each of my non custody times for one on one time with the kids. When I was married my ex believed if I was around that I should be making up my parenting time I missed while at work. So anytime i was around it was me and all the kids while she “recovered” from driving the kids to school, because of this I never got one on one time. So it was hard to teach them skills like baseball or anything like that because I was trying to manage the oth…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 08:53 PM
2

I’m only going to talk about two parts. 1. is it abnormal? Absolutely not just like everything in human interaction your ability to feel compersion (a form of joy in the joy of others) is different. Most people see this kind of joy in others as a deal breaker. You’re not weird for feeling it knowing that you wouldnt be happy in this situation. 2.easier said than done? What are you judging yourself harshly about in this situation? No matter what be easy on yourself and understand that if you do t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:58 AM
6

WHY ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?!?!?
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 12:14 PM
1

I will add paternity confirmation. I think this needs to be addressed early by everyone, men and women, old and young, with kids and without kids. Women need to understand that paternity fraud is a truly disgusting thing, that it happens, and that the solution is easy. I constantly see that if a woman is asked to get a paternity test after conception it is a seen as an offensive assault on their character to the point of them often being unable to continue the relationship. What I propose is tha…
/r/MensRights29/09/24 07:26 AM
7

Meh… stuff your sorrys in a sack ;) I’m in a good place with it. I mean I get why she is so mad, she lost em and I’m awesome. I’m sure yours is feeling the similar sting of reality. So something that has been a huge help for me to separate myself from the anger and drama is using chatGPT to write all my communication with her. I originally just had some normal parameters like “don’t be mean or name call” (I actually had ChatGPT analyze some of our fighting for what I was doing wrong) but I stumb…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 02:02 PM
8

First off happy birthday!! I’m not big on birthdays probably a deep seated lack of self worth making me think I don’t deserve to be celebrated or some misguided man idea that I only deserve to be celebrated when I earn it. I also am practical if I need something I buy it if I don’t need it I don’t really want it. All I want is for my kids to have an awesome time and know they are loved. So my birthdays are an excuse for me to focus on my kids. We make a mess making what can only be technically c…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:55 PM
8

So I am in a similar situation she hates my guts. She refused to bring my youngest to the bus stop on his first day of school ever, even though he’s been talking about riding the bus to school with his brothers for a year, just because I wanted to be there and watch him get on the bus for the first time. So she drove them to school that day because “daddy doesn’t respect mommy’s boundaries” (I teach my kids about boundaries a lot so they are better protected from her abuse. Hopefully that gives …
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:43 PM
3

I treat and refer to my ex’s next ex as my future best friend. I always ask if he can be the middle man for us.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 11:37 PM
1

I struggled with and still struggle with some of it. Meaning more so that it affects my decisions sometimes. I stayed for years because of the kids. I realized after I had left that I actually got trapped in the marriage because of a kid. When I marrieds she had a one year old and when we finally moved in together we started fighting immediately. And I remember thinking “this was a mistake I’m done” and she hit me with “the only part I regret is my daughter will have had two dads come through he…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 11:08 AM
28

Yes b ing divorced is so great. The only part that sucks is sharing the kids, but simultaneously I pay next to nothing for a 24hr babysitter. I get to do what I want how I want. I get to have people in my life when and how I want. As far as being a man, I feel like when you are married you are living somebody else’s life. The house looks how they want, you do the chores they think aré important, in public you behave how they want, you even parent how they want and usually because of the assumpti…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 02:17 PM
6

So the dead bedroom thing seems to be an issue for a lot of men. Our bedroom wasn’t dead but it went from 100 down to 20 then when it went back to 50 she thought I should be super thankful, while I did carried all the financial burden most of the child duties and most of the household duties. But the DB or sex in general is a large reason men get married. Sex is fun and has a million benefits and somebody wanting to have sex with you makes you feel awesome. When you are dating they are throwing …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 06:08 PM
2

So I’ll comment on the main post but DB is crazy to me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 05:54 PM
2

You are correct that this is generally true but it’s not definitively true. It’s hard being a man I’m not denying that but there are good people out there that care about you or will care about you. There are a ton of us on here that understand your pain and will always lend an ear or a kind word. Let me know if you ever need to talk.
/r/MensRights06/09/24 11:32 AM
3

Hey man, I know it feels like your world is falling apart, but that’s exactly what needs to happen. That life you had? It wasn’t built with the right person, and now it’s collapsing to make way for something better. This pain? It’s temporary, and it’s only making you stronger. The truth is, you will crush life. Your future is going to be better, and you can’t stop it—you can only slow it down. The work is hard, but it’s already happening. You’re being shaped into someone stronger, someone who wi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 11:40 PM
4

Boundaries, bro. I didn’t understand them till I saw “boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and myself”. They are awesome. I thought boundaries were things we did so other people know their place. They are things we uphold so that don’t lose our self respect. Write them down and start following them.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 05:49 PM
3

I came here to argue against the title but my ex and I are amazingly high conflict, and my new partner who is great has no children. We have had issues around the kids both my kids and her lack of kids. Basically I’m not ready for my kids to see me dating I left their mom and I don’t want to also be the one who brings in a new partner. Even though my ex has a very obvious boyfriend who is almost constant in their life but she calls “just a friend”. So our situations are very different, and I won…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 07:25 PM
2

I say some variation of “I’m not your employee” weekly. I think it’s just female entitlement.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 11:45 AM
0

Two parts of it I don’t like: In financial terms the person not working was the one actually sacrificing their future, not the one putting their career on hold. What would my IRAs be worth at retirement if I had paid into them instead of paying for her to sit on the couch all day. And this is someone else’s it’s “to maintain a lifestyle they were accustomed to” ok well what about the lifestyle I was accustomed to. She didn’t cook or clean but we had BJ Thursdays, what time on Thursdays will she …
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 03:06 AM
1

We used a vocational evaluator to prove she could be making more and was willfully under employed. The job kinda threw it out but also lowered my alimony by 20% so..
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 02:55 AM
2

Yes but do your research, I reactively filed and probably could have set myself up way better. Find out how to protect what’s yours. That’s the important part.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 01:19 AM
9

BOUNDARIES!!!! It’s the only answer. Boundaries are the distance which we can love others (her) and love ourselves. This is what I’ve learned about boundaries because when I married my narc, I thought boundaries were for other people. So any time she needed to cross one I was like “ok I can handle it” and slowly but surely I become next to nothing, just a machine that worked for her. Think of boundaries think of how you want to operate with her and write them down. Keep editing them so they make…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 01:13 AM
2

Oh man do they love to flaunt it, mine would leave the house all decked out every night in the beginning of the divorce process. Then just yesterday she brought her new boyfriend to the bus stop.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 12:53 AM
8

Did she file? If she hasn’t “sell” the company. Then have them pay you a salary. Then buy it back.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 12:40 PM
3

You just served her. No matter how long you’ve been split it’s just a pause in the process and a pause in you moving past and healing. I’m at a year and a half after a pretty fast divorce. And I can tell you it is way better over here. Was every moment? No. But have they gotten significantly better to the point where it rarely even bothers me? Absolutely. And my situation is pretty bad. It’s not tough talk it’s the truth, just like you know you can lift more than 100lbs if you’d get your head ou…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 04:18 PM
1

All always say the new “there is our money and there is her money” is “there are our chores and there are his chores” Lots of great points in here about men’s mental load. But I want to point out as a single dad with a pretty kick ass life and a clean house, a lot of their issues as usual are self imposed. They want to have 20 pillows on the bed and expect you to rearrange them every morning. No. My dishes pile up and the world doesn’t end. Would your lady ever help you organize your tools? Prob…
/r/MensRights06/08/24 03:32 AM
5

I am serious about starting one, but I have done zero other than making up a catchy name. I am sorry I wish I could help more. It’s truly bull the way they just lock you up financially. Especially when you consider there is no return. Like oh she was forced to stay home for the family? No she was GIFTED time at home. Now i have to split or pay them… and they don’t have to do anything? Unfair. I wish you the best you will get through this
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 02:26 PM
9

I am so happy two years post divorce, I actively encourage people to get divorced. If the youngest kid is over 3 and it’s not a decent working relationship, cut and run it’s not getting better. My nonprofit will be called “DIG IT! Divorce Is Great, It’s Time” Honestly I would divorce her again if I could.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 12:37 PM
9

Mine never stopped being hot and o remember the pain of this. It sucks. But bro you are going to figure it out down the road that it’s not hot it’s sad. What she’s doing is sad. Pity her. She is going to trade what she has to borrow something from somebody else, and in the end she will blame them as much as she is blaming you right now. She is hollow and all that need for attention is sad. You on the other hand are going to turn yourself inside out and expose all the shit you were afraid to see.…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 09:41 PM
1

I guess your not coming back, but you kinda hit on my exact point with 8 is model tier sure if you have access to the entire world but most of us don’t so an 8 should shift. If a virus came today and killed all of the population you consider worthy, would you not adjust? I would And same thing with each of us. Your standards should fall within your ability. Find out who is willing to date you and select from that pool. Then be grateful, because yes women and love and stuff can really hurt you if…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 03:13 PM
1

Haha what does that even mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 07:14 PM
2

Let’s say he’s at work and Stacy is a ten, and Alice is a 8. He’s obsessed with Stacy even though Stacy has made it clear she wants nothing to do with him. But still he puts his attention there. On the other hand Alice is doing all the things to project interest, but his obsession with Stacy turns her off. Now he gets no one. https://youtu.be/-6eK0yiw9t0? si=fhgTJB6iuhWrlPba I don’t think it’s a secret that the men who struggle to get women often have unrealistic expectations of the women they h…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:37 PM
1

I always make the joke that I get lots of women because I keep my standards just below my ability. But the reality is I know and am good at reading body language and also good at projecting body language. I believe most guys are in the “A Perfect Mind” scenario where they are going after the girl who isn’t interested in them and simultaneously ruining their chances with the one that does. Or they just never even consider the other woman. They pine for a girl that doesn’t want them, then get bitt…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 01:21 AM
1

So as a fighter I can answer the question of “what are you fighting for?” “Whatcha got?” Fuck yeah I love my job!! You ever shoot a machine gun on peyote? I have! The question for me isn’t “why are people joining” but how the hell did they make out pay so low? Think about knights they lived like rockstars and the musicians literally begged for scraps. Now musicians live like kings and most enlisted families had to use public assistance last year. It’s ridiculous. But the job is great and I’m hig…
/r/MensRights04/06/24 03:00 AM
1

Hell yeah. Life is good.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 12:56 AM
1

I just want a woman I can be not perfect around. And they are like “you good?” My ex would flip out if she wasn’t the most miserable person in the room. Always had it the worst so I had to be positive all the time it’s exhausting. And I’d say “hey I’m not having a good day” and she’d watch me like a hawk and the minute I let any frustration show… “what the fuck was that?” “We don’t have to live with this” “how dare you take your day out on us” and a bunch of other shit. I want to have a bad day.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 06:19 AM
4

I’m 40 but my parents loved each other, the show made no sense to me when I was younger.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 02:34 AM
1

I need to watch that show in its entirety
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:29 AM
1

What is no ma’am?
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 10:06 PM
1

I often look back at my behavior with shame, but I have come to realize there is no need. I picked myself up and charged head first into a horrible situation over and over. I can truly say that nothing can stop me, I am a hammer. No matter how many ways you break it, you can still pick up a piece and keep hammering. But from a way to behave stand point yes. I was talking to my son about girls and I told him the way to get girls is to know in your heart that their life would be improved by being …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 07:53 PM
10

Worse they tell her to make a plan and be sure she’s ready to leave when she tells him. Lying to him for months or years, while he wastes his effort trying to fix it. It’s really fucked. Leave early.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 07:47 PM
2

You want to work it out cause we all think it’s the e f it’s the beginning. Divorce is great, it’s time.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 07:09 PM
1

DO NOT!! Everytime you try to make amends she pulls farther away, and you will lose another piece in the divorce. Burn the ships!!! You got this brother. Think about that thing you enjoy that she acts like you don’t deserve. You deserve it and if you leave you can have it. Are you a man baby? Can you feed/bath/ protect/ entertain you and your kids? Why do you need her? To tell you you are doing it wrong?
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 07:08 PM
8

Honestly this isn’t even just my advice to males, it’s for everybody. Fuck trying to make it work it won’t. Just end it and save yourself the hassle. But yes men absolutely suffer from this more. Women check out and do the bear minimum while men chase the idea of fixing it and they just say “not good enough” over and over. If men knew how women actually felt in marriage they would leave much sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 03:04 PM
1

I haven’t really given up on women but I kind of have given up on me and women. I think there are good women out there I think the ones I choose aren’t great. Or the way I personally deal with them isn’t great. My post divorce partner is leaving and they are great truly, but I constantly feel that …. (?) manipulation. Idk that social or relationship pressure to do something I don’t want to do. And it’s usually little weird shit that everyone would be like “why are you being weird” but I just wan…
/r/MensRights25/05/24 12:33 PM
–

It’s not asinine just because yours is the current system. If one side deserves stabilization why not the other? If this was the exchange during the marriage, why does only one side have to continue providing what they provided and agreed upon? They are legitimate questions and a pretty blatant example of disproportion. I’d her savings account equal to his? What if he makes 1million a year and there are people for everything? If he provides 100% of the financial support, what percentage of the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 02:14 AM
–

So if one partner earns a million dollars a year, the SAHP services are worth $500,000. But if a working partner makes $32,000 then the SAHP services are worth $16,000? Does this sound right to you? There is a study out there that claims SAHM are worth $200k+ because that’s how much it would cost for a laundry service, a personal chef, a maid, and daycare. But what SAHP provides that level of service? What is the reality of what a SAHP is worth? For me it was a negative number, but I know my sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 02:07 AM
–

Is there a higher violence than the state? So the male choice is suffer under the wife’s threat of state violence or under the states threat of state violence? Or do you genuinely believe that only one side of these issues can be oppressed, and conveniently that it’s always your side?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 01:46 AM
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Absolutely they do. The questions are: what percentage have female abusers? Is the accepted definition of the female role inherently abusive? I’m thinking of anecdotes of where she gives him an allowance or he has to check with his wife before spending. Pretty much any sitcom wife and how that normalizes this behavior?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 01:15 AM
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You just said no one is hiding divorce laws. No one was hiding marriage laws in 1975, so would you say what you’ve essential said which is “tough luck”? Or that it isn’t marital rape?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:56 AM
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Haha I guess you can’t take a joke. I think lawyers happily apply the law, and lots of laws are immoral so… It’s an assumption that everything was taken care of and what if you prove it wasn’t. What if you prove she didn’t do any of these things she gets credit for? I believe the answer is that the court doesn’t care. I guess my lawyer joke opened me up to this personal attack, but I gladly pay my child support. Then I pay for the extra set of stuff, so their mom can have it, then I watch all of…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:52 AM
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No hes payaing thousands of dollars a month to support a human who may or may not be providing an equal service. You keep assuming and then giving credit totally the SAHP, but how many situations with a stay at home parent that is doing it all end in divorce? Probably when the guy cheats? But other than that tons of divorces are because women have kids and then kick their feet up. Scream about 50/50 household and financial abuse. Then strangle the marriage knowing that they get a pay out. Why is…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:43 AM
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So if this was 1975, would you maintain this same position about spousal rape?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:31 AM
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Thank you for out yourself as soulless I appreciate that. The fact that from the time of filing to the time of orders you must maintain the status quo of the household. Alimony And I think child support in practice. Absolutely the kids deserve a good life but it just incentivizes one parent to remain underemployed in order to keep receiving payments. Or on the other end, is ridiculous after it hits a certain number.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:21 AM
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To what degree? How can you confidently say he’s not overly compensating her or supplementing her income? Single parents provide everything SAHP do and some have extra money at the end of the month. So how does your accounting work?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:09 AM
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At least you’re confident. The crazier part is I can’t find anything more than an off hand comment in an interview from a law professor in Michigan. I’m happy to be disproven but I’ve only seen a bunch of articles referencing this one article where it say “10% are awarded” meaning order by the judge.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:02 AM
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How are the kids benefits of her unpaid work? Alimony is ordered by the court 10% of the time, there are lots of cases are volunteering for Vietnam because you know you’ll get drafted. How does that logos point to the woman getting the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:58 PM
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Should she make arrangements until he learns to properly care for a home and the children? Should she have to continue meeting his sexual needs till he finds a new partner? What if she doesn’t love and support him and they take care of the home and children equally?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:22 PM
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Yes I do, but I’m willing to hear what you think I’m missing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:17 PM
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And how is this wrong he earns that money and pays her portion of the bills with at payment for her domestic labor. Is that not the transactional basis of their relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:16 PM
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It’s not a small percentage paying alimony it’s a small percentage ordered to pay alimony. It’s like volunteering for Vietnam because you know you are getting drafted. My divorce and the money is fine. But the system is wrong and immoral, and needs to be mentioned over and over. But this post was actually meant to be about consent regarding sex/finances but has spiraled out of control.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:13 PM
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A lot of men (and the lady I’m dating) once they get divorced.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:11 PM
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Just so you know this is not what I’m talking about but it is adjacent. Why should the women get the kids? Especially when the studies show the opposite is best for children. But what about all the money paid to the woman for her unpaid labor. She gets her rent paid her food paid for and everything else. But what I am saying is the marriage is over they are going to file papers. They split it all down the center but it’s zero. Just bills and child care. He say ok I will pay for day care for my f…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 11:06 PM
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Worse. Financial abuse is someone feeling entitled to your money. Divorce laws are forcing people to pay money to people they don’t want to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:55 PM
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True I’m not saying they are forced. What I’m saying is the mix is sex and money. If I start a business with somebody and then say “I’m Out” as long as everything is square at that moment I don’t have to continue paying. If I have missed sex/domestic life and money then I have to keep paying. But receive nothing for paying. I am saying that just like people should consent to every sexual contact. People should also consent to every financial transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:52 PM
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Where did you get this nonsense? From my divorce and the court. Show me where I consented to paying alimony on the marriage license. If the other partner was forced to clean the paying parties house once a week would you find this acceptable?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:49 PM
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That’s pretty much the shared definition of financial abuse. I don’t under stand how if you don’t consent to (sex, or cleaning, or doing my taxes) then I don’t consent to (paying you in cash, or paying your rent, or paying your car note). It seems like a bunch of thing are added like “cutting off” and “support” to add emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:45 PM
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Please because I can’t think of one. Explain to me a situation where someone prevents someone from being financially independent or withholds money that isn’t theirs? I guess I can think of some but they are outlandish. Ike and Tina turner? Pimps and their (prostitutes)?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:37 PM
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I threw an edit on there hopefully it helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:32 PM
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Please define financial abuse and I will add it to the post, so we all work from the same understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:32 PM
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Men are absolutely forced into financial relationships. During divorce you are forced to continue paying everything you paid previously even if the whole reason for divorce is money. Another great example is alimony. Yes these are unspoken agreements but the same is the case for men’s financial responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:31 PM
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Sorry I might need to edit for clarity. But what I’m talking about is a man and woman are married, years down the road they both decide it’s over. She doesn’t work and he does. He is required to pay for her still or it is financial abuse. I’m not talking about spending on the relationship to keep it going. I mean being forced to care for a grown adult you don’t want to. And yes it would carry over to alimony.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 10:25 PM
1

Definitely but it’s also important to remember it’s not some magical outside connection to the spirit realm. It’s literally just echo your own thoughts but from every level. It helped me get over my divorce, but it also convinced me to stay and destroy myself more for my ex. So I am always weary to put too much positivity on any of it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 06:18 PM
1

Idk find a guy in a tie dye shirt
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 04:43 PM
2

So two months after the divorce I was ready to try psychedelics as part of my journey: they can be really rough if your head space isnt right. I personally don’t like mushrooms, I describe them as “my ancestors judging me”. The last time I did them I was focused on how I don’t want anyone else to carry all the anger and pain that I have; but conversely that I desperately needed to let that anger and pain go. Personally I like LSD it has a built in euphoria and electric feeling and the revelation…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:21 PM
1

Absolutely and I like OPs comment, to me it seems like trap inside “what a man should be” concept. I have healed I have cried with zero shame.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:11 PM
2

Did it involve LSD?
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 12:55 PM
2

I like that you think by being condescending that makes you right. I said directly that they are two different things, and Bill Burr hits the nail on the head about women’s over valuing of their efforts. You however have yet to add anything to the conversation except an exquisite lack of reading comprehension.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 06:55 PM
0

Did it seem like Bill Burr was my source? It’s just hilarious and applies to the situation. But you obviously don’t have any interest in discussing this just in trying to be snarky. Have a wonderful day.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 06:03 PM
3

That was a different action from what I listed. That was also over represented by women. I’m not saying this arbitrarily, it’s a conflict of perspective between men and women, then add in the over abundance of “the hardest job in the world” memes and reels on social media and you are pretty much guaranteed to have a fundamental disagreement on the division of labor. https://youtu.be/L-gbacsUKpc?si=kCRekf2uWsSJtSA4
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 05:07 PM
–

Yeah I’m with you… idku tattoos are a little bit patch work but I think they are unique and flow well. For me it’s the joke tattoos, like I permanently put this silly thing on me forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 05:02 PM
9

Women generally consider their effort way higher. Have you seen the study on women doing way more around the house than men? Well it was a self reported study that gets passed around a lot but someone went back and investigated further. The best example they gave was laundry, when men do a load of laundry the consider it 10min of work, load the machine turn it on, switch to the dryer, pull it out done. Women considered it two hours worth of work because that’s how long the whole cycle takes. I’v…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 03:07 PM
–

I completely disagree with d. For me that’s how I filter out the time wasters. For me wasting time is going out, spending money on things I don’t need and spending time on people and activities I don’t want to. I think they are so many people so desperate to not be bored that they just date constantly. If you are attractive enough it’s a real possibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 01:05 PM
4

I always say “WHY?!?!?!” “It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I’d divorce her again if I could!”
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 08:47 PM
2

25% ish and they really want it. She is former military and apareby knows all the tricks and benefits and how to get them. Next step is to talk to other service members about possibly protecting it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 09:14 PM
1

11 years but the state is the question. Could be any state, which has thr most reasonable laws regarding money and military retirement when there are no children.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:38 PM
2

I’m kinda excited
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:06 PM
2

Yeah but I also know there are states that are better than others what are they? Just like there are states where it’s better to be a woman in divorce. I appreciate everything you said, luckily I lived mine, and got out ok. But being military provides the advantage of being able to choose the state. What state is best?
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 12:59 AM
2

Is this true in every state? Well at this stage in the game military retirement might as well be alimony. We are both in our forties so that’s a long time to pay.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 12:10 AM
2

Honestly I can’t it was just a passing post on I think this sub. I will take a look.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 11:55 AM
2

I saw a guy on one of these style subs, who was in his 50s and had been divorced since his late 30s or early 40s and was describing all the types of women he had dated and the pros and cons of each. I remember the group labeled “hairdressers” stuck out to me because that’s the type of women I enjoy and he had them listed as a big no. But any ways them and SAHMs kinda fall into the same category they have messy lives that they are looking to pile on to you and get some relief they are great and f…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 01:17 PM
9

I’m sorry for two reasons one because this has nothing to do with your point and two because most men won’t agree with my next sentence. Bridgette Moynihan who he had the first kid with is hotter than Gisselle.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 01:35 PM
1

Now long was his fiancé in college. Who was constantly upset with him. That’s the dynamic we all learned, the woman always mad at the man. Sorry about your family. Hopefully it will get better
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 09:27 PM
3

I also think it makes any empathetic person question themselves. I read something that they need someone with empathy and a willingness to take responsibility or it doesn’t work. Mine was always I apologize and take responsibility, then when I would say “ok your turn..” she’d get made and say I don’t empathize with what she’s going through so I’d take responsibility for that and apologize and we’d move on. I had move two steps closer to her and she’d move two steps farther from me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:17 PM
1

I never watched mash. I thought uncle Phil got a fair bit of shit from Aunt Viv, but it’s interesting that your two examples had they had a sassy wife she would have been labeled a different way because of race. Then further didnt (Nia Long) constantly treat Will bad on that show and get on him.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:11 PM
2

Yeah I dug into it and they counted all the hours the husband was helping, naps, any play time the kid had…. Because it’s the stress of having to worry about the kid and I pointed out the other parent was feeling that same stress and based on their accounting working the same amount of hours.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:08 PM
12

I think one of the big things is most of us who are getting divorced we’re raised on sitcom women who constantly had issues with their husbands. I think a big problem is that we were taught narcissistic and toxic traits were just female traits and so were they. I also think women as narcissists corned the market on the accusations. Any narcissistic abuse stuff you follow will occasionally directly use gendered language and the male as the abuser and the female as the victim but never the reverse…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 09:59 PM
4

Ok yeah we are on the same page. I had decent sex in my marriage but that was about it. And in order to keep it up I had to keep adding more of her tasks to my tasks. It was crazy glad I’m out and living the good life now. And my god the money and time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 09:51 PM
2

Your “?” Confuses me but. My point was this is the system for relationships and they have lobbied the public until you are wrong for expecting pornstar sex in exchange for whatever they want. It’s a loss in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 07:01 PM
10

Also the craziest part to me… so I have no problem getting sex from divorced women at forty, and the number of them willing to do debaucherous things because they are sex starved is amazing. But the crazy part is that they just refused to do them with their husbands because of a loss of connection or respect or whatever. Like he wanted it she wanted it but she said no until the marriage died.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:25 PM
14

So I see the issue as systematically part of the male female dynamic. I think it’s a problem of the obligations of both parties. For me most of what a woman brings to the table is sexual. I can cook I can clean I can take care of my kids at the standard I like. When I’m dating a woman all of that stays the same. She brings sex, and kinky sex at that, with a willingness to perform. It’s awesome. Then we get married or move in together and now it charges, she adds a bunch of bullshit to my house. …
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:23 PM
2

I think the courts are moving more towards prenups being invalid. Like generally the trend is moving towards even those things being divisible. It could just MRA propaganda but I’d watch out. Like I think when you go to court if you contributed a dollar while married, she gets half of the additional 1mil. Or possibly because it commingled she gets half of all of it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:12 PM
6

Your avoiding the topic which you started that they aren’t gendered… they are. Secondly the average drug dealer isn’t doing any of those things either.. they are selling drugs and trying not to get caught… but if you wanna talk comical stereotypes then SW like Cardi B are driving robbing people. The issue for both of these are that they are criminalized, which makes any kind of grievance not part of the state sponsored legal system. Therefore a black market legal system has to be established. Dr…
/r/MensRights05/02/24 02:47 PM
4

Are you going to respond off topic every time or is this your way of agreeing that they are gendered. Also the government response to drugs does damage to society not the drugs. If we treated the sex laws from the 70s like we treat the drug laws from the seventies there would be pimps tricks and Johns scattered all over the streets, too.
/r/MensRights05/02/24 02:33 PM
7

I mean but they are… just the fact that drug dealing uses a black market court system (violence) makes it male by default. And whether the prostitute is male or female (even though I’d bet it 10:1 female) the customer is overwhelmingly male… again gendered.
/r/MensRights05/02/24 01:36 PM
16

That’s why making it mandatory or obligatory is protecting the whole of men. Like instead of the man saying “let’s get a paternity test” either you as the female say “here babe I got a paternity test too” or society just adding it to the normal testing protocol to prevent paternity fraud. No accusation or suspicion of cheating necessary. Just part of the due diligence of having a child together.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 04:32 AM
1

Thank you for that excellent response. I know mine is psychosomatic because I can feel my mind shift during. But hopefully what you said helps someone on here.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 04:42 AM
3

How did you get diabetes or hypertension? I was reading along think “low T, Gattsama is talking about low T.. then bam” I’m sure Gattsama knows more than me cause I’m not too bright but if you don’t wake up with an erection get on testosterone. It’s a game changer for a lot of men.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 03:38 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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