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too-far-for-missiles Archive

View 0 posts and 99 comments by too-far-for-missiles on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I'd like to find the attorney saying that they'll get her a win on this and give them a nice, stiff kick to the groin. What a loser.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 11:44 PM
2

A lease means nothing in terms of ownership. You are both tenants of your parents. They can ask nicely or seek eviction at any time so long as they follow the legal requirements for that process. Rental payments are just community expenses for CA law and don't mean much beyond basic accounting for pre/post separation finances. I'm divorcing with 1 young kid. Fortunately we don't have a house to worry about. We are both resting separately now. She moved to a new apartment but is still technically…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 11:39 PM
3

If she called a lawyer on speakerphone that said something like that, it wasn't a lawyer. She can't force your parents to sell their own property.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 11:29 PM
6

He can't sell his parents' house, fortunately
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 11:27 PM
2

Bud, I don't think that's how selling the house usually works. Your parents can evict her whenever they choose if she doesn't own and isn't paying rent (though it's an annoying process).
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 11:24 PM
6

Listen to your lawyer and not the angry voice in your head right now. So much of what you wrote makes little sense, legally speaking.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 07:52 PM
4

My 12 year marriage had a long slow death that eventually ended with me stranded in a new state with no connections and far from family. I started dating a month after separation and it's been going great. Do what makes sense to you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 07:58 PM
1

How? That's a helluva lot of weight to lose so quickly. I hope you can stay healthy!
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 02:06 AM
2

Do you feel alone because she's treating you poorly, or is it just something on your end that maybe therapy can resolve? You guys have only known each other for a short time. There's plenty of room for growth. Additionally, feeling like you've "settled" is largely a you problem. The grass isn't always greener.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 10:58 PM
2

So shoot your shot, then. Nothing to lose!
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 02:49 AM
6

Be careful what you wish for. That's how you end up with a $10000 invoice at the end of the month.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 07:13 PM
4

Thinking you know what you'll want for the following decades when you're 24 is an interesting stance, though. OP has so much more to learn and grow into.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 12:50 AM
5

The cold hard truth is you might just have to envision her jumping on another dick. While you're at it, find someone else who appreciates yours more. This may not be the silver bullet, but it's worth a shot.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 08:30 AM
1

It's called filters on the dating app
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:08 AM
3

Ask how many staff members will be involved in your matter. I hate seeing so many "reviewed work done by paralegal" or 4 redundant "read email" entries on my invoices. I also happen to be a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 08:18 PM
5

At least for me, finding a sweet and caring girlfriend who also happens to be fire in bed has been better for me than 3 months of therapy sessions.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 08:02 PM
2

So, what you're basically saying is "abuse the system"
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 07:52 PM
2

Child support obligations for the higher income earner are in part to ensure that both parents can provide comparable living situations for the children. Fair is subjective because the same laws prevent a much lower earner from being comparatively destitute if their spouse has a very high income.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 07:49 PM
6

These are lawyer questions. Generally speaking, though: the clearest way to stop the feet dragging is a court filing and paternity is the default legal test for whether parentage/child support come into play.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 03:02 PM
34

Let's be sure to point out the absolute lowlifes that are the ones who enable the adultery, as well. I really can't imagine the headspace of someone who breaks up a marriage and continues to think "Yeah, I'm certainly the one that they'll not cheat on in the future."
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 05:51 PM
2

It's not all doom and gloom. Some of us do find a spark again. It's a bit saddening to see all the jaded hearts here.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 02:19 PM
3

Non-American women (and men) can be pretty awful, too. Speaking from experience, here.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:09 PM
7

You can be smug in the notion that some dipshit thought it was a good idea to waste thousands of $ on a pointless engagement ring for her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 08:20 AM
1

In US courts, relevant records and information are all generally discoverable unless a privilege or relevant evidentiary objection applies. A legal AI tool isn't an attorney, so none of the normal privilege applies.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 01:27 AM
-5

This sub would have us believe anything to do with spousal/child support is 100% designed to destroy men.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 01:03 AM
1

Chat GPT logs are discoverable. Food for thought...
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 07:18 PM
4

Think about all the things your ex did/was that you dislike. Then look for the opposite of that. I've only been dating for about 2 months now. But I've met a few very nice women and am currently having a fantastic time with someone who seems to be responsible, mentally stable, respectful, sweet, and fantastic in bed. Basically everything my ex wasn't.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 02:36 AM
5

You will never receive an apology, and you'll just have to live with that. She probably told herself that you were the villain in her story for at least a year before she let you know it was over. That's just how it goes. You fill that void by taking care of yourself (which you're doing!). If you are the kind of person who feels best when you have a partner, address that—I'm the same way. You'll be able to find someone who treats you far better than she ever did because now you have a better ide…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 02:44 PM
5

You shouldn't feel any shame or remorse for going through what you self-diagnose as a hoe phase after divorce. That's perfectly normal and can be healthy so long as both parties are safe and respectful.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 02:40 PM
1

Not with that attitude, they won't. Try to find a divorcee to chat up. You'll be surprised.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:05 AM
4

Same. I'm decidedly average-looking, have a kid, and don't make tech money while living in a VHCOL tech hub. I've had no issues with getting casual dates and currently have a really good thing going with a childless woman a bit younger than me. People just need to use good photos and learn how to hold a conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 04:32 AM
1

Everyone is different. I started dating a month after separation, but the relationship had effectively been dead for a bout a year. 3 months post-separation, and I'm currently enjoying the company of a fantastic woman who treats me very well and is incredibly affectionate and fun. It has really helped get through the days without my young son around (50/50 custody).
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 04:28 AM
2

You just try
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:46 AM
5

Don't worry above the sex part if you aren't able to get in the right headspace. It doesn't seem like you're able to detach your sexuality from the prior relationship yet. It'll come with time. Everyone has their own pace for healing and moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 03:36 AM
1

What about if one spouse sacrifices their career growth for a while in order for the other's to grow rapidly. What if part of that sacrifice was moving to the most expensive place in the country and now the lesser earner is trapped there if he wants to be around his son? Sometimes the spousal support is justified.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 03:31 AM
2

Also great for dating life
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 02:06 AM
5

If you're worried about the potential financial impacts, then just have that conversation like a functional adult. If this other person takes offense at the notion you aren't going to exist as an ATM for her own kids then it's an easy red flag for you to consider. I have 1 kid, and would never expect a dating partner or even future spouse to contribute too much to them. He already has a mom, and that mom will be paying plenty of child support.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 12:01 AM
15

The easiest way for me to get over my ex during divorce was to find a kinder, cuter woman. It worked like a charm.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 02:49 AM
2

I get why we overthink these things. But it's also quite silly. 2 months into my separation and I'm happily going on dates. It feels great to be in warm company again. It doesn't mean the first person I talk to is going to be "the one."
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 07:44 PM
9

Hey man. 20 years and still feeling like this means you really needed help and a different approach a long time ago. Please consider therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 08:54 PM
2

Testosterone... addict? I just started TRT a few weeks ago and the effects are subtle but pretty positive. What a horrible take. 😆
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 06:27 AM
3

We all married the damn goddamn woman.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 06:25 AM
1

I'm on week 9 of post "separation" cohabitation. Hopefully the next residence stuff will be figured out soon. Honestly, the first few weeks we horrible. But I eventually just embraced the separation. I've been on a few dates with some very lovely women and even nothing long term comes of it the chance to spend some time with someone who actually is nice to me has been a godsend.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 04:51 AM
2

You might want to check if Bumble BFF is active in your area. It can be really awkward at first but I've made a few decent connections. Often men in similar situations.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 12:08 AM
3

I just like women. No shame in that 😂
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 03:27 PM
7

I dread the days I won't see my son after work. Having room for a dating life is nice but I can never fully heal the wound that is having half of my son's daily life ripped away from me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:26 PM
3

Yes. Unfortunately as soon as I joined things and the divorced dads sub Reddit decided that it was time to flood my feed with all of the manosphere subs. It's a bit depressing. I'm divorcing an emotionally distant, uncaring, unfaithful, work obsessed woman who essentially destroyed my current life trajectory. It doesn't mean I secretly expect all other potential partners are hellspawn as well...
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:12 PM
5

Most of us here unfortunately are. She really had us fooled.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 01:44 PM
6

You can ask for anything. It doesn't mean there won't be objections.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 01:30 PM
2

Everyone should just bear in mind the ChatGPT logs could be requested in discovery.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 03:23 AM
7

She's the higher earner, so I'll be sure to extract everything I'm entitled to after sacrificing my career growth to boost hers (probably around $1.5M plus long term alimony/child support under CA law). She's going to find that obliterating her own family and having an affair with a coworker is pretty expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 03:13 AM
2

Do you have an attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 02:26 AM
2

You know that you dodged a bullet, so just own it. The fact that her prior divorce was so messy simply foreshadowed the current situation. Cheers, man. Another—much better—opportunity is out there.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 08:59 PM
2

Are you able to afford child therapists? It might be worth a try.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:45 AM
4

I'm in the Bay Area and I'm not a tech bro. There's plenty of prospects, I guess. I'm pretty average in terms of appearance.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:43 AM
8

I have two dates planned and I'm trying to line up a third. I also have a guys happy hour in the mix. Severing myself emotionally from my wife is all it really took to perk up. I still feel sad for my son, but none of this is his or my fault.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:07 AM
1

It definitely comes in waves. I'm only 2 weeks into this so I guess I just haven't got tired yet.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 09:36 PM
6

This. Chatting with 8 women at a time has been great therapy for me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 12:44 AM
1

Honestly you probably have better game than you think. You're just rusty. Force yourself to practice and it'll all come back pretty quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 05:27 AM
2

You're honestly not dealing with the same person you knew years ago. Don't treat it as such. Believe the hivemind here.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 03:16 AM
1

It's heartbreaking, really, what some people will sacrifice for selfish gains. My own just turned 4. We'll probably have separate living arrangements in the coming months and every day he keeps saying the sweetest things like "Daddy I want to be next to you forever". It fucking sucks, man
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 03:13 AM
5

A good start is to do any of the (healthy) things that you felt restricted from doing due to your spouse's influence. For me it means something as simple of shaving my head. I love having a clean, bald head. My wife hates it. My head is now shaved.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 03:06 AM
6

She has something on the side or has a target in mind
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 10:11 PM
19

Tale as old as time, friend. When she started pushing you away she already decided the relationship was completely unsalvageable (regardless of whether that's true or not). I hate to break it to you but there's probably already someone she's pursuing. I'm going through this right now. 13 years and hardly any real issues. We even have a young son. And then last month she suddenly decided a coworker would be better for her and that obliterating the family unit was the proper choice. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 10:49 PM
3

You blame yourself because you're human and you want to improve or find a way to "right the wrongs" as it were. I'm only 5 weeks into it, myself, but so far the only thing that keeps me from going crazy with despair and resentment is reminding myself that only one of us cares enough to fix things. The other is simply a lost cause. And, vent away. You have allies all around you here, even if we can't be a literal shoulder to cry on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 03:13 AM
8

I don't have much advice or wisdom to offer as I'm going through something similar. The only thing I really can say (and perhaps as cold comfort) is that your story is incredibly common. I have no fucking clue what is going on with married women these days. P.S.: the relationship didn't fail because of your actions. She simply decided a while ago that it was over and never told you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 10:01 PM
2

Yeah, I almost flipped the table in a (de)couples counseling when the counselor said "It seems you have a lot of anger that makes this difficult". No shit. I'm being subjected to an incredible amount of spite and unjust behavior. It's madness how a supposed partner can just turn on you so quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 05:56 AM
2

The kid just makes it feel worse, to be honest. For now, anyway. I couldn't imagine blowing up multiple lives just because I didn't "feel it" anymore. Maybe I'm just too good for her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 05:42 AM
2

Well, I just scored a coffee chat with a single mom later this week, so hopefully that can at least be a bit of a pick me up.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 05:41 AM
9

The anger is what really gets me. I'm on almost 1 month of virtual separation. I've always been a pretty intense person but I can't think of anything about my situation without just getting mad. Therapy doesn't seem to be helping. It doesn't absolve the family-destroying actions of someone who pretended that I—that the family unit which includes our son—actually matter. How do you get past that anger? It feels like the only thing that remains.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 03:04 AM
2

I'm only on my second session. I'm hoping results start coming soon because I really feel like dating would be cheaper than therapy at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 11:01 PM
1

I'll be making sure to max out alimony, spousal support during proceedings, child support obligations, and pushing for whatever the court thinks is equitable for her future RSU vesting schedule. My career has easily been set back 3 or 4 years in terms of earning potential and this move to the Bay Area is going to be devastating on terms of retirement savings. I sacrificed a lot to help support her career growth after we had a kid. Fuck her feelings, because she sure as hell doesn't care about mi…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 10:59 PM
9

Therapy, if you haven't already tried that. In the meantime, reminding yourself that your ex is not the person you used to love is key. That person basically doesn't exist anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 06:53 PM
4

Do you have an attorney? Child support is not typically something the parents can determine on their own. A court will make the call.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 06:50 PM
2

After 13 years of marriage to someone who is career obsessed, the last thing I'm interested in is finding another partner who fits that same mold. My assumption (justified or no) is that any female FAANG engineers who are single in their late 30s/early 40s are career obsessed and either poor partners or someone with little relationship experience. Especially if they don't already have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 07:39 PM
2

You need an attorney. Stop trying to self help this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 06:13 PM
1

I'm in a tech hub and there are a lot of good looking woman pushing 40 on the apps. That they are still single leaves me wary. Their pics are always of them looking super happy doing stereotypical tourism photos or climbing a mountain, etc.... trying really damn hard.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 04:36 PM
1

Where I'm at there's plenty of whatever the female version of a tech bro is. Many are quite cute, but there's no way I'm touching a FAANG engineer with a 10ft pole ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 04:30 PM
1

Therapy, bud. It'll come back when you're ready but therapy can help you figure stuff out and keep that door open.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 11:48 AM
10

I've been browsing dating apps just to get a look at what's out there while I'm just sitting around waiting to be served divorce papers. Goddamn it feels like I'm just picking over all the leftover, mostly spoiled fruit at the discount section in the back of the grocery store. The women who are 35+ on the apps immediately give me "single for a reason" vibes. I hope this feeling goes away at some point because I'd love to have a good companion and partner again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 11:46 AM
1

The bot accounts have been getting awkward in a number of subs I frequent, lately
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 05:31 AM
6

Friend I'm going through what basically feels like abandonment after 13 years, myself. The woman you thought you were with really isn't there anymore. She probably stopped existing over a year ago and she just never thought to tell you. It sucks, man. But once the shock is over you'll come out of it stronger.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 05:25 AM
4

My STBXW literally said that she's at a point where she just wants to cut out anything that holds back her career and personal goals. I asked if that includes a stable family for her son. She didn't like that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 08:48 PM
1

I hear you. My STBXW has been exhibiting legitimately concerning behaviors that point to possible psychosis or paranoid delusions coupled with what surely seems like BPD. It feels bad "diagnosing" her in my own thoughts but it gets to a point where you have to wonder if someone really is unwell.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 08:47 PM
2

People have to turn on this dark mirror personality in order to justify hurting someone that is so close to them. It's a real Jekyll and Hyde situation and it sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 07:02 PM
8

I wouldn't say it is a huge red flag for a "full-blown narcissist". It sounds more like a signifier that you guys needed some kind of therapy and counseling to explore the problems of the relationship and any self-building or healing that might have helped stabilize things. A miscarriage can really harm a person's psyche. Edit: I also believe we should stop throwing around the term "narcissist" in a clinical sense so much. It's like when everyone and everything was "gaslighting" a few years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 06:36 PM
1

I see little reason to swear off dating as a whole if companionship could still be a healthy addition in your life. Obviously, that's a big if that only each individual can really clarify.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 05:32 PM
2

These are great questions for your attorney
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 04:22 AM
2

Eh, on the other side of the fence it also protects the primary caregiver from being financially abandoned. I gave up my career advancement so my STBXW could exponentially grow hers. Now she gets to pay a big chunk of alimony and child support if she refuses to reconcile. I hopre her personal journey is worth everything she's gonna end up paying for not trying to make things work between us.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 02:52 AM
6

She didn't really move on that quickly, though. As I've seen it, she moved on a long time ago and just never told you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:39 AM
4

Divorce just made it into a business relationship. It didn't really change the person, just your perception.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:38 AM
13

It's always at least one "base" more than they admit.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:16 PM
6

It breaks my heart thinking about eventually explaining things to my 4-year-old... Explaining how mom basically just decided for everyone else that we don't get to be a single household family anymore because she has to "find herself" or "cut out the noise in her life". In the end, they're just showing us who they were this entire time and we simply didn't see it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:09 PM
8

Reset the "Days without an emotional affair" counter, guys. I'm on week 4 of post-discovery of the "emotional affair", myself. It's gonna be a rough ride. Do your best to contain your emotions in front of your kids and start seeking therapy so you can let it out there. Avoid any more verbal discussions with you wife about the situation or the coming storm if you can—those talks probably won't help things and she won't listen, anyway. She's going to show you a lot of who she truly is these coming…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 02:42 PM
2

You're not alone. Just know it's going to suck until it doesn't. And, even then, you'll be in a different universe that you have to do your best in. I'm going through two weeks of separation now with 13 years married and a pre-schooler caught up in the middle of one person's unilateral decision. It just sucks. I still believe reconciliation is possible (and it can be for anyone, as long as there's no abuse/violence/hard addiction at play). I also find myself drifting further away from her and no…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 09:10 PM
5

Status quo just never can be good enough for some people. They'd rather burn the world down and feel justified pushing "personal growth" in some twisted form than simply remain content in maintaining a decent life. It just seems to be a pattern that this mindset lies more on one side of the gender fence than the other.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 09:04 PM
1

The only thing I can offer is commisseration. 1 kid and 13 years, now she's abruptly feeling a need to end it after a very recent move for her career to a VCOL city. All over steady detachment because of issues that built for years without ever truly being dealt with. It fucking sucks and makes no sense.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 07:27 AM
2

Because the traps get more and more complicated and treacherous as the social media cesspits gets stronger.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 07:24 AM
2

The karma at least in my case will be me being financially set for life after taking half of our assets and fleeing from the VHCOL city she moved us to. On top of that, I halted my career to work part time and take over the childcare role. CA has pretty hefty alimony laws...
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 07:23 AM
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