TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

unK4G3D Archive

View 6 posts and 85 comments by unK4G3D on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

I am 60 and been separated 6 months. Married 40 years and we raised 5 great kids, 2 of which are in college still living at home with me. My wife left me because she didn’t love me anymore and wants to live alone the rest of her life. She will probably divorce me, but the weird thing is, she still wants to remain friends and do things with me and our kids and grandkids. She doesn’t want to deal with the baggage of finding another man (at least that is what she tells me). We are being amicable so…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 06:37 AM
2

Makes perfect sense
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 08:11 AM
6

Your story is very similar to mine. She left me 5 months ago and just wants to be alone. Pretty devastated.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 08:28 AM
1

Why is it a red flag when women get divorced because they were unhappy, needed space, or fell out of love?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 02:16 AM
14

I am currently going through this too. Married 40 years and raised 5 kids together. I thought our future together was pretty solid and we were hoping to travel with our kids and grandkids after retirement. Then the bombshell… She said she doesn’t love me anymore and we separated 4 months ago. I still love her, but I don’t want her to be with me if she is unhappy. She just wants to live alone. Every day there are so many unknowns that I have to face. My future is a total mystery now and every day…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 06:46 PM
7

Imagine having this happen after 40 years of marriage and raising 5 kids together. 4 months ago she moved out after telling me she didn’t love me anymore. Women…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 06:36 AM
8

Hang in there man. What goes around, comes around.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 12:28 AM
4

Married 40 years, raised 5 kids, and she left me 4 months ago because she didn’t love me anymore. I am a good husband, father, provider, but I guess nowadays that isn’t enough. We are currently separated and feel the heartbreak every day. I hope we don’t get divorced because I still love her. If she leaves me I don’t plan to find someone else because I am too old to start over and wouldn’t want to ever go through this again. Hopefully it won’t take me 3+ years to not feel miserable. I assume you…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 09:16 PM
8

My wife of 40 years and 5 grown kids said the same thing to me 5 months ago. She moved out of our house and wants to live alone the rest of her life. Every day has been tough because I still love her. We are currently just separated, but it will probably end up in divorce. If really sucks for our kids and grandkids because now they have to split their time between us. She is being a selfish bitch and every day that goes by makes me wonder if I am better off without her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 07:40 AM
6

Some people just don’t care that they made a commitment. Marriage vows mean nothing anymore. Don’t beat yourself up over something you have no control over.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 09:07 AM
1

How old is your son? My wife left me after our 5 kids were raised, but my youngest son is still living with me while he goes to college. We have been married 40 years and are currently separated, but I don’t think she will come back. Pretty sad about the possibility of being alone the rest of my life, but I can’t really imagine being with anyone else.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 07:09 AM
1

I want my freedom and companionship, but now I have more freedom than ever and nobody to share my time with except my kids and grandkids which is great, don’t get me wrong. It is just the time that I spend alone is difficult for me knowing that I have no close companion.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:03 AM
1

It was a difficult day for me. I miss her, but am trying to get through it. Most difficult time of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:58 AM
2

This is true, but even after being married 40 years I didn’t feel alone with her. You get used to being together, at least I did. She obviously didn’t and kept her true feelings hidden so well, until 4 months ago when she left me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:55 AM
1

Thanks for this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:52 AM
2

Women never forget things like this either and they dredge them up years later. Believe me I have dealt with this too after being married 40 years. I feel a little better now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:51 AM
1

I admit I won’t miss that.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:49 AM
1

Seems like it will take a long time for me to get to that point.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:48 AM
2

I am happy for you. I just need to go through the pain and hopefully I can get to where you are now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:47 AM
3

I hope I can get to this point.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:46 AM
5

Thanks for waking me up to reality.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:45 AM
1

She was fun to be with. I like to do many things and have several hobbies. It is just hard to get excited about doing anything lately because I knew we would do things together a few times a week, but now I am mostly alone. I don’t enjoy being alone. I guess it is just something I will need to get used to.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:43 AM
1

I think the chemo affected her personality, but she wasn’t my maid. We had a great 2024 together on multiple vacations.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 05:02 AM
1

Not toxic in my situation. She had cancer and went through chemo 12 years ago and it changed her personality somewhat. We get along fine. She just doesn’t have that loving feeling anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 03:39 PM
3

She had breast cancer and went through chemo 12 years ago and it changed her personality somewhat and she fell out of love with me slowly. Our kids noticed it too. We get along great. No fighting, she just doesn’t have that loving feeling anymore. Very sad.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 03:31 PM
1

Very sad to hear that
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 08:14 AM
2

Thanks! I thought we would grow old together. Very sad about what my future may be without her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 06:34 AM
1

I really hope and pray it gets easier, but I can’t imagine how. I really dread being alone with my thoughts. I need someone to share my life with and not just my kids and grandkids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 06:30 AM
1

Thanks for that comment. Not sure why you consider me a legend, but thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 06:28 AM
5

Going through this too. Women can compartmentalize who they love. They can switch it off for one man and turn it on for another pretty quickly. Men usually are more committed to their woman and can’t just turn it off. It takes more time for a man to get over a woman that breaks his heart. Brains are wired differently.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 10:35 AM
9

Fuck all women, wedding vows mean nothing, they just want to find a bigger dick to ride. You can thank social media and probably her divorced friends for putting the bug in her head. It is the fashionable trend to leave your husband if you aren’t happy because it is easier to leave than it is to stay and work on the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 09:34 PM
1

I agree that would be more difficult to process. Sorry you had to experience that. It is hard for me because I still love my wife and wanted to grow old with her. I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. Neither of us can imagine being with anyone else.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 10:31 AM
2

Exactly this
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 10:29 AM
2

Done that. I am working on some things and so is she. She just felt like we wouldn’t do it if we were under the same roof. I am trying to remain optimistic, but am preparing for possible divorce too.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 04:13 PM
-4

There isn’t. She doesn’t want the baggage.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 04:10 PM
1

She moved out. I have the house and our youngest son still lives with me while going to college. I told her since she wants the separation, she needs to leave. I did things to try to get her to change her mind, but I could see that wasn’t the way to go (for reasons you state). She has been gone since October and is already feeling some of the pain it seems. I still love her, but am being patient and nice. Hopefully she will come back.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 04:09 PM
2

We went to counseling. We each found out things we need to work on and are doing it, but she was dead set on separation prior to counseling. She just doesn’t have “that loving feeling” anymore even though we get along fairly well together. She just wants to be friends and live alone for a while. We married at 20 and now 60, raised 5 kids, I don’t get it. There is no other man, she doesn’t want the baggage. She is just tired and says she doesn’t enjoy hanging with me anymore. Twelve years ago she…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 04:05 PM
9

Same thing happening to me
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 03:55 PM
4

What you describe is exactly what I am going through. I will never stop loving my wife.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 09:04 AM
8

Perfectly sums up how I am feeling right now. Sometimes I wish I could erase the memories that haunt me so that I might feel real happiness again. The pain is supposed to make me stronger, but I think I would rather be content and be with her again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 05:22 AM
2

I am right there with you
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 07:09 PM
2

I am there with you. It has been very difficult for me to function for the last 2 months since my wife moved out after 40 years of marriage. Her friends were our friends and now they are just her friends and don’t say anything to me. I have grown kids, but they are busy with their own lives. Lots of alone time and I hate it. Hopefully we will get back together, because I still love her. There isn’t another man. We both still are friends. She just wants to be alone to spend time with our kids and…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 06:37 AM
3

I feel misled and betrayed because she says I should have seen it coming or she is lying and a good actress because the sex was mostly great. No sex since the separation though. We get along fine and don’t hate each other. I am just very hurt because I still love her and am attracted to her. She says “our” kids and grandkids and even wants me to be there when doing things with our family. It is like she wants me around, but just doesn’t want to be married or live together. Very strange. She is h…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 08:56 AM
9

My separated wife of 40 years and 5 grown kids was very good at having me believe that we would stay together after the kids were raised. In 2024 we went on several fun trips together and even met with our financial planner to make sure we were on track with our retirement savings so we would have enough money to travel after retirement. We had our share of problems that we were working on, but about 3 months ago she said she didn’t love me anymore and wanted a divorce. I convinced her to try a …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 03:00 AM
2

Hopefully I won’t need to use this advice
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 07:29 AM
1

That is a WholeMan611 response! Thanks for that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 12:30 AM
2

So based on that rule I have 80 months until I recover?!?! That is over 6 years. I will almost be dead by then. I am going to have to break the rule.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 12:28 AM
1

I am going through this too and I still love her. I want to stay together, but she wants a divorce. Very sad that vows mean nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 03:55 AM
1

I am facing this possibility and it is really discouraging to think about at 60.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 09:20 PM
1

Hang in there. I am feeling much the same way. This roller coaster ride really sucks. Keep looking at what you blessed with and focus on the good things about being alive in this beautiful world.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 09:42 AM
4

Is she a good person and committed to you? Are you physically attracted to her? Does her child look at you as a father?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 01:13 AM
11

She is clearly showing that money is more important to her than being loyal and honoring her marriage vows. Sorry you are going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:26 PM
2

I am doing the 180 thing as you suggest and I haven’t been trash talking her because I know it will get back to her. I don’t drink and have lost 15 pounds from working out and eating better. Actually spending this whole weekend cleaning up stuff. It is very hard to be motivated because I am beating myself up, but I know I need to do this. Thanks for the comment. It is nice to get a woman’s perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:06 PM
2

Yep, this is exactly what my wife did, she realized it was just me and her, but that is what is so wierd because we have fun together. She just doesn’t have that loving feeling. I don’t understand why she would rather go through all the work and expense to move out when we could figure this out together. I was not mistreating her, we were just both really busy with work and got in a rut. We didn’t focus on the relationship, we were always doing things with our kids and grandkids together and did…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:01 PM
2

I am already self-sufficient and have several hobbies. I can’t even think about dating for possibly a year because I still love my wife and we are just separated for now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 06:55 PM
2

Where can I do that?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:22 PM
3

Thanks for the thoughtful comments. I have been very involved with the upkeep and maintenance of our family home. I was there physically and spiritually for her during her cancer treatment. I went with her several times to chemo treatments and even shaved her head when she lost her hair. I realize you are basing your comments on what I have written, but all of our friends and family agree her personality changed after chemo and this is a known side effect. It wasn’t a major change, we all just n…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:21 PM
4

Good stuff! Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:35 AM
2

It is a home where an elderly man lives on the main level and my wife is renting the finished basement with an outside entry. She isn’t moving in with the family. The family of the elderly man is charging her less rent if she is willing to help keep an eye on their father because he lives alone.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:28 AM
3

Get out now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:55 AM
2

I appreciate your comment and completely understand what you are saying. I do have some things to work on and so does she, but we really are pretty good together. Part of it is we married at 20 and raised 3 kids separated by about 4 years, I had a vasectomy, it grew back after 13 years, we had 2 more kids within 2 years, which really ended up bringing us closer together. Our 5th adult child still lives at our 6 bedroom home with me while he is going to college. My wife and I worked our asses off…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:45 AM
8

My wife of 40 years and 5 grown kids moved out last Saturday and I still love her. She says she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate for a while to find herself. We are still friends and I pray every day we will stay together. I have my house and savings and if she divorces me, she will get most of my 401k. I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life and I wonder if I will ever have sex again. Very sad to think that I may lose her because we actually get along pretty well. I suppose if…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 09:36 AM
7

Thank you for posting this. This is the worst time of my life. It will be very difficult for me to get through the coming holidays without my wife of 40 years, who I still love. About a month ago she said she wanted a divorce because she didn’t love me anymore. She wants to spend her remaining years alone and ironically with me to do things with our kids and grandkids. Not sure how this will go yet. She wants to remain good friends, just not be together. Women are strange creatures.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 07:05 AM
1

If things don’t work out between me and my possible STBXW, hopefully I can find someone like you to give me a purpose in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 04:19 PM
12

If she is a good person and loves you, stay with her for the sake of the kids. Maybe she would be willing to work on how she looks if you kindly told her how you really felt. People can change how they look today. If it is a weight issue, go to the gym together, ride bikes, go on hikes, eat healthy, etc. You were once attracted to her and maybe it is the Internet that is changing your perception of beauty. Showing your children that you are an honorable man and father is more important than whet…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 01:09 AM
1

My stbxw changed personality while going through chemo 12 years ago. Been married 40 years with 5 grown kids. A month ago she told me she wanted a divorce. Ever since I have been numb and it is hard to be motivated about anything. I still love her, but she wants to be alone the rest of her life and just spend time with family and friends doing stuff she wants to do. She wants to remain good friends and to do family stuff with me. We are both 60 and I can’t imagine finding someone else or living …
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 02:39 AM
1

She told me she wants to live alone and just spend her time with our kids and grand kids. She has no interest in finding anyone else either. Too much baggage at our age. I agree and told her we should stay together and work it out for the family because we really enjoy doing things together with our older kids and grand kids. She says she still wants to do that and remain friends with me, but she doesn’t want to live with me. I honestly am a good husband and father. I help do my share of housewo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 05:29 AM
1

Same here. Sitting at home alone talking to you on the internet. We were married 40 years, had 5 kids, all grown now except for youngest who is still living with me while he goes to college. A month ago my wife and I went on a wonderful Alaska cruise and had a fun time and when we got back she said she wanted a divorce. We are both 60. So much for vows and commitment. She is taking half of everything we have worked so hard for together so we could grow old together and travel. She has apparently…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 04:56 AM
2

She just wants to be alone and find herself. Do yoga, hobbies, hang with her girlfriends, kids, and grandkids. She even tells me she wants to remain good friends with me and do things together with our family. Very confusing. We raised 5 kids together and the youngest is in college and still at home. I will get the home and she gets most of my 401k. I really don’t think it is because she wants to bone other men, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that may happen if she finds love with someone else e…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 09:37 PM
17

I am there with you, bro. 40 years together and she recently said she wanted a divorce because she didn’t love me anymore and wants to be on her own to find herself….we are freaking 60 years old. I know who I am, but she apparently doesn’t. I see from several other posts by men that this is a common occurrence. What is it with the women on our society today? No loyalty or commitment to the vows they made. Marriage vows are a joke.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 04:43 PM
1

She has not got another man in her life and doesn’t want one
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 02:36 PM
2

I didn’t explain entire situation. I am keeping our house because our youngest son is still living with me while going to college. My wife is getting her own apartment and will be working for at least another 4 years before possibly using her half of our retirement savings to move to the small town where my daughter lives. I am hoping and praying that maybe she will possibly want to get back together with me for our original plan to move there after she “finds” herself. For now, are separating a…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 08:42 AM
2

That’s what I told her. It doesn’t make any sense to me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 05:20 AM
6

I really needed to read this right now! Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 04:55 AM
3

Great post. You and I sound a lot alike. I bent over backwards to do things for my wife and kids to keep everyone happy, but in the end she lost that loving feeling for me after 40 good years and 5 kids. What the helm is going on in our society?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 01:16 AM
16

Sorry to hear this and I feel for you and all of the others that have posted. Something is very wrong with our society. No loyalty or commitment in relationships anymore. The same thing is happening to me except we have been together 40 years and have 5 grown kids. We are 60 years old and she wants to go find herself. After going on several vacations and cruises this year she told me she wanted a divorce because she didn’t love me about 3 weeks ago. She just wants to be on her own and take half …
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 01:02 AM
2

Thanks for your comments. You have been very helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 02:06 AM
3

Thank you for taking the time to respond about your situation. You have helped me to understand my wife’s mindset. I am just trying to do the right thing for both of us to be happy for our kids and grandkids. There is probably something I am supposed to learn from all of this, but right now I am still in shock and very depressed. She is in pain too. I wish I could just fast-forward through this painful time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 02:05 AM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 01:48 AM
0

Your opinion isn’t based on any facts I have presented. My wife and I both work full time and some weeks I am working 15 to 25 hours overtime and need to travel away from home. My wife and I both cook meals. I help with the housework. 3 of the bedrooms are rarely used and don’t require regular cleaning. I usually spend my weekends doing all of the laundry, yard work, and pay bills. Our son works full time and is going to college part time and does his own laundry and upkeep.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 06:45 AM
2

I never cheated on my wife. I love her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:54 AM
3

It was gradual, but started after her chemotherapy almost 12 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:54 AM
1

No, we did things together that we both enjoyed and had fun and romantic times. Like many females, she remembers all of the bad things that have happened between us for the last 40 years and she rehashed them whenever we would argue. I was always the peacemaker and tried to focus on the good times we had.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:52 AM
2

Thanks for that. Just knowing someone else has survived something similar is a great comfort to me. Did you have children?
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:38 AM
6

There is more to the story, but I covered the main points. Not only does she not love me, she feels she has been slaving away for 40 years raising our 5 kids and cleaning house. I really don’t think she has a boyfriend and wants to get away from me to have sex with other men. She is really just burned out. We married young and she sees her life possibly ending within the next 10 to 20 years and she just wants to find herself and take care of a small apartment. This is so hard for me to understan…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 01:54 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter