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unsurefamily Archive

View 6 posts and 25 comments by unsurefamily on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Fight for 50/50 and as long as where you live isn’t too archaic and you don’t have too messy of a past you shouldn’t have trouble getting it. A lot of times they just want a bigger paycheque from you monthly. Here’s the garbage thing tho, where I live my stbx is entitled to child support and spousal to the tune of 65-75% of my total income. So even with 50% my stbx will take home more of my paycheque than I will. I hope you don’t have this where you are but brace yourself. The laws don’t favor t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 01:14 PM
1

Wow. I did not know that. I will be begging for suitors lol.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 08:11 PM
1

Thanks. I think the not having to deal with her part would be invaluable. I doubt she will marry again but if some rich sucker comes along she will jump on it. So, do I still owe her spousal if a rich guy marries her? I didn’t think that mattered?
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 12:22 AM
1

She won’t jointly file. If I ask that, she will flip out on me, know my plan and beat me to it. I have a little bit of silent leverage at the moment
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/22 12:23 AM
2

Perhaps as a follow-up to this, I wonder if it’s worth it to avoid the spousal alimony by giving her all the equity in our current home. I’m on the hook for 2k in spousal for at least 20 years
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 09:25 PM
11

In same place as OP and agree 100%. No more marriages for me. No more living with a gf unless there is a clear division of assets beforehand
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 10:48 PM
1

Just wondering if anyone has any advice here. I’d really appreciate it! Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 04:23 AM
2

Thanks. Unfortunately we’re well beyond that phase. I’ve done accountability pictures when I went out and such but I hardly went out anyway. She just wants me to work on myself and I haven’t faced my demons and now she’s tired of waiting. If money wasn’t an issue then we would be divorced and living separately now. I tried to build trust in ways other than endless therapy and other psychological stuff but she wants a genuine change in who I am and how I operate.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 02:35 AM
2

Thank you for the comments, guys, I appreciate them all and read each one
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 02:09 PM
1

Thanks. My wife doesn’t love me anymore. I love her companionship, intelligence and passion. I did quit porn many years ago. I just stopped, cold turkey and I do not feel compelled to go back. I’m not a partying and don’t feel I missed out on being with other woman. I just hate knowing I could have done more work to save us in the aftermath of the affair. Honestly is the most important thing and I failed at that miserably. If trust exists then you can talk it out and figure out the problem. The …
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 02:05 PM
3

Thanks guys. I really appreciated your comments. It’s a struggle but having people to share with helps
/r/MenSupportMen31/07/22 06:40 AM
1

I can somewhat relate to your post. I had an affair with one person many years ago. My wife knows all the details but the manner in which I shared them permanently wrecked trust. I love my kids with all my heart and still care for my wife but I’m scared to share painful things with her until she asks and that doesn’t build trust. She wants to be at peace and I do but both of us struggle with committing to divorce because I fear a life without this family and she fears other women around the kids…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/22 03:01 PM
1

We did lots of therapy. Unfortunately it didn’t work for us
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 03:59 AM
1

Ok. I get it. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 01:20 PM
1

I am not divorced but I did think about this since divorce is a strong possibility for me. Everyone needs to buy food. Every time you pickup groceries now buy a grocery gift card valued at 10-20% of your transaction. Toss the grocery receipt since most of the time you don’t return something from a grocery store. Don’t buy from a Costco that tracks your purchases, buy from a store that doesn’t track what you purchased. It may take a while to build up good bank but it’ll all be yours. Make sure th…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 03:52 AM
2

So well put. I’m trying to decide if I continue in a loveless marriage for the sake of the kids and financial ruin but we can buy our years back. It’s nice to hear about success stories after exiting an unhappy marriage. I especially love the ones that find happiness without someone
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 02:49 AM
1

I’m not sure I follow altho I’ve read your comment several times. I do think that cheating is amoral and destructive no matter which gender. I wish I had the decency and honor to take the moral road in life but I didn’t and that alone is the sole reason I am here. I can and have learned from my bad choices but it doesn’t heal the damage that is done. I’m in a situation where I want to make a decision to provide the least possible pain to those I love but there is no obviously right decision. If …
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 02:37 AM
1

Good for you still have that contact with them. My wife and I are teetering on divorce and losing contact with my kids is absolutely my biggest fear. I can accept financial ruin if I get to hug and find ways to support my kids in everything they do or dream of doing
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 02:29 AM
2

Wow. For someone considering divorce, this is eye popping. Financial ruin or loveless trust less marriage. Are you guys still bitter after being financially raped
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 11:06 PM
3

Thanks. Not the answer I was hoping to hear but truthful and impactful.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 10:55 PM
1

If you find yourself saying that comment in a relationship then it is not a relationship, it is control. You must find a way to do everything to make/keep them happy and if you fail then it’s your fault
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 01:01 PM
2

Yup. They will never be happy if they look to someone else to make them happy
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 12:52 AM
3

Wonderfully said. Once my divorce is done I will walk cautiously and never financially expose myself again. If you are with someone that you feel you must please then you haven’t found your match. In an ideal match (at least in my head) you should be able to be yourself and they should be able to be themself and they find their happiness on their own with us being supportive.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 12:50 AM
1

Omg. Another amazing comment. I still suffer from this today, albeit to a lesser extent. I tied my sense of self worth to her opinion of me. If she was happy then she made me feel worthwhile but as kids and life became difficult she rarely found happiness. She would forget something and freak out and I’d bend over backwards to accommodate her so she would be happy. And then that became expected at a minimum next time
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 12:42 AM
3

Omg this thread is awesome. Compromises like compound interest is priceless! I couldn’t have said that better myself. It starts out with giving a little and ends up with you no longer having a say in anything and then if they ask you your opinion you are wrong anyway. For me, absolutely the worst habit I formed was a keep the peace mentality. I let things roll off my back. Repeated comments like “you’ve been doing X for 5 years, why aren’t you a manager?” Why don’t you get paid more. You NEVER d…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 12:11 AM
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